See, it really is "Penis Church" after all

by Feòrag

England: An evangelical pastor who preached on the importance of fidelity is to step down after admitting adultery. Bishop Michael Reid told his congregation at Peniel Pentecostal Church in Brentwood, Essex, I confess that I have sinned by committing adultery. I recognise that I have failed in my duties and acted in a way that harmed the church. I apologise to my wife and family and all of you whose trust I have betrayed and ask for your forgiveness and prayers. According to the Daily Mail:

His wife of 36 years, Ruth, is standing by him and is understood to have accompanied him abroad to his other ministry, in the American state of Arizona.

Where he presumably thinks they do not have the internet, nor read newspapers.

Reid had already resigned as director of the Christian Coalition for Traditional Values, and is best known for his role in the campaign against Jerry Springer: the Opera. The only time he has featured in the Prattle is when a Peniel Church billboard in Edinburgh was creatively vandalised.

Update: He might not be doing much in Arizona after all, according to the Michael Reid Ministries home page:

Bishop Michael Reid tendered his resignation from the church board and stepped down from pastoral duties in the church. The reason is that he has sinned by committing adultery and he has unreservedly apologised for what he had done and has taken full responsibility for his actions.

Bishop who preached family values finally admits: I am an adulterer—Daily Mail, 10th April 2008; Pastor resigns post over adultery—BBC News, 10th April 2008; Bad "Bishop" resigns from CCTV—MediaWatchWatch, 8th April 2008. See also Bishop Michael Reid Resigns over Sex Scandal—Bartholomew's Notes on Religion, 8th April 2008, for considerably more detail and analysis of this story.

Tags: adultery, hypocrisy, Michael Reid, Peniel Church

We get comments

by Feòrag

Some comments cannot be allowed to quietly drop out of the sidebar because some comments are Special. This one below was made to Prince William is the Antichrist and reincarnation of King Arthur! by ANOYMOUS (sic., like everything below):

WERE IS HE THE ANTI-CHRIST.I CAN NAME A WOMAN IN AMERICA WHO FOOLED ALL THE MEDIA AND PEOPLE'S PERPTION OF BEAUTY AND VIRTUES.

Oh no, not an anti-Hillary Clinton rant? No, nothing so mundane.

carolyn bessette.EVEN BEFORE SHE WAS DATING JOHNF.KENNEDY JR. HER BIRTHDAY WAS JAN.6,1966 AND HER INTENTION VRY MUCH LIKE THE GENE TAIRNEY CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE WERE SHE KILLS HER HUSBAND'S BROTHER AND AND UNBORN CHILD FOR SICK DEMONANIC PURPOSE VERSES THE FAULSE PERCEPTION OF GOOD. ALL THE WAY GOD GAVE SIGN OF THIS WOMAN MENTAL SICKNESS AND EVIL BEHAVIOR BEHIND AND INFRONT OF THE CAMERA.APOUN HER BEING ANNOUNCE JOHN'S WIFE SHE QUIKLY CHANGED HER HEIGHT AND WEIGHT FROM 5'9 TO 6'0 AND FROM A WAVE WEIGHT TO MORE 105 POUNDS.HER HAIR WAS NOT NATURALLY BLONDE BUT COLORED BLONDE .HER IMAGES CHANGED OVER THE YEARS NO FOR PHOTOGENIC PURPOSE BUT FOR A BETTER PUBLIC APPEAL WHILE SHE CHANGE HER POINTS OF HER PAST HISTORY OF BEING A DRUG ABUSER WHORE AND UNVIRTURIUOS IN HER PANTIES COSTANTLY SINNING IN HER LIFE. ARRANGING PEOPLE'S LIFE STYLE TO BETTER HR IMAGE AND YET BLEEDING HER VITIUM OF REALITY UNTIL THEY GET SO EMOTIONAL ABUSED AD PHYSICALLY THEY CAN'T SEE THAT SHE HAS A DEMON PERSONAL.WHY NO ONE SEES HER PLOTTING TO TAKE SOMEONE LIKE JOHN OUT OF THI WORLD BECAUSE SHE CAN'T HANDLE NOT CONTROLING HIM AND OTHERS IN THE LIGHT OF THE MEDIA. THUS TAKING SOMETHING SO SEMBLE AND ENLARGING INTO A BIG DEAL.TO INSURE HER DEMONATIC BEHAVIOR SEX LIFE AND SIN PRAYS SHE PRAYS IN HER EVERYDAY LIFE TO HURT PEOPLE FOR THEIR PERCEPTION OF GOD LOVE AND GOODESS.

In case you are confused, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy was the wife of John F. Kennedy Jr. and died with him in a plane crash in 1999.

Tags: bampots, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy

Bargain of the Day: Good stuff, for a change.

by Feòrag

Englandshire: Dr. Who fans could find themselves a bargain as the memorabilia collection of Simon White goes on sale after he swapped science fiction for fantasy.

The collection, which Mr White estimates is worth nearly £7,000, was built up over a number of years but is to be cast aside because of his religious beliefs.

Dr Who and his materialistic obsession with it represents the greatest lie that Satan ever told according to Mr White...

He said: God delivered me from the evil that is Dr Who.

Don't offer too much now. We wouldn't want to reward him for his sinfulness now, would we?

Dr Who Tardis on sale on eBay—Wiltshire Times and Chippenham News, 21st March 2008.

Tags: bampots, Doctor Who

A quickie

by Feòrag

Tags: creationism, Ken MacLeod, religion

Bishop thinks hate is a Christian value

by Feòrag

Scotland: A Roman Catholic bishop has decreed that lesbians and gay men are the opposition and form a huge and well-orchestrated conspiracy against Christian values. Joseph Devine, Bishop of Motherwell, gives examples, of course, but not necessarily what you'd expect:

He singled out the actor Sir Ian McKellen, who was given a New Year honour for services to gay rights, pointing out that Oscar Wilde was locked up only a century ago for homosexual acts...

He went on: In this New Year's honours list, I saw actor Ian McKellen being honoured for his work on behalf of homosexuals, when a century ago Oscar Wilde was locked up and put in jail. It's a very small group of people, but very active and organised — and extremely indulgent. The opposition know exactly what they're doing. We don't.

He also complains that pooves remember the time when a country led by a communicant member of the Roman Catholic Church decided to kill off minority groups.

The homosexual lobby has been extremely effective in aligning itself with minority groups.

“It is ever-present at the service each year for the Holocaust memorial, as if to create for themselves the image of a group of people under persecution.

Perhaps they get that impression because people like the bishop say hateful things like that? Or maybe, as an editorial in The Scotsman points out Between 1933 and 1945, 100,000 gay men were imprisoned by the Nazis' regime and 9,000 died in concentration camps. That is justification enough for gays to remember the Holocaust.

Catholic bishop hits out at 'gay conspiracy' to destroy Christianity—The Scotsman, 13th March 2008; Bishop's unhelpful comments—The Scotsman, 13th March 2008. See also Fury at bishop's gay 'persecution' claim—The Herald, 13th March 2008.

Tags: bampots, hate speech, lgbt, religion, Roman Catholic Church, Scotland

Now what about the chainmail bikini?

by Feòrag

Sweden: Archæologists have discovered there might be some truth behind the Wagnerian stereotype of a Viking woman in a metal bra:

Cloth samples with fasteners and round pieces of metal were found in the mud near the Swedish capital, Stockholm...

But comparing them with figurines found at the site, they seem to have been worn as a metal bra.

The research at Birka also suggests that Viking women held bra fashion shows, but these were banned by prudish Christians.

Viking Women Had Bra Fashion Shows—The Daily Record, 28th February 2008.

Tags: archæology, bras, Sweden, Vikings

Christian "love" in action

by Feòrag

Scotland: As previously reported, a tiny Catholic extremist organisation has taken aim at HIV/AIDS activists, the Order of Perpetual Indulgence. As part of their vendetta, they published the e-mail address of one of the Sisters and, not surprisingly, that individual has been receiving hate mail. Which she forwarded to me. I expect there's more that got eaten by the spam trap, she notes, but I'm not going to bother looking for it. So, what do members of Catholic Truth have to say in the name of their imaginary friend?

Tags: bampots, Catholic Truth, Patricia McKeever, religion, Scotland, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, sockpuppets, spammers

Zap!

by Feòrag

Brazil: God has apparently smitten His own son in the traditional manner.

Amazing moment the world's biggest Christ was struck by lightning—Daily Mail, 13th February 2008.

Tags: Brazil, crispy Jesus on a stick

Anatomy of a sockpuppet campaign

by Feòrag

Scotland: The organisation Catholic Truth is one of those one-person organisations, a bit like Christian Voice, which exists to get outraged at perceived slights to its imaginary friend. In the case of Patricia McKeever, what upsets her is pooves, and especially pooves in frocks. She's best known for her threat to blackmail and witch-hunt gay Roman Catholic clergy. Fortunately, the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland could see that she's a bampot, though not the MPD:

A spokesman for the Archdiocese of Glasgow accused Ms McKeever of perpetrating a medieval witch-hunt. He said: Catholic Truth is a tiny group on the fringe of the Church, utterly unrepresentative of mainstream Catholicism. They are a self-appointed team of heresy hunters, who have made a habit of bombarding the Vatican with ludicrous letters.

So, who to attack next? Why not the Order of Perpetual Indulgence? After all, they've only been active in Scotland since the early 1980s. So she fired off a series of missives to the contact address for the Sisters in her home city of Edinburgh. While all purporting to come from different people, the time-stamps show that it's unsophisticated spamming, with enough time between the messages to switch accounts. The messages were all written in the same voice too, and show plenty of evidence of her not having even looked at the site beyond the contact page. Fortunately for us, the Sister concerned has made use of the Forward feature of her e-mail client.

Tags: bampots, Catholic Truth, Patricia McKeever, religion, Scotland, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, sockpuppets, spammers

Pagan crochet

by Feòrag

A while back, I linked to a crochet rune set over at Llewellyn. Well, it seems they've gone one better, and now have a pattern for a Cosmic Energy Rune Set:

The tools that can be made in this pattern are runes of the cosmic energies. While these crocheted runes bear twelve of the most observed and documented energies, you are not limited to the confines of these chosen symbols or to the listed messages that I’ve associated with each of the energies. As you work with each symbol, you blend your conscious (studied) and subconscious (inherent) attributes with the traits of each rune. This blending creates (depending on your intention) a living magical essence that is attuned to you and your intent and / or a divinatory oracle that speaks the language of your unique heart and soul.

To make these runes, you will need; a size 7 steel crochet hook, size 10 crochet thread in the main color and in a complimentary color, large eye needle, cotton balls and optional fabric glue to further secure the thread ends. You can refine the materials list to include choices in thread colors and in herbs, oils and gemstones (that you can mix with or include with the cotton ball batting) to enhance your desired purposes or the traits of the particular cosmic energies.

The difference seems to be that these "runes" aren't runes at all, but astrological symbols.

If you like to crochet, but runes are really not your thing, maybe the Swirls of Stars Tarot Spread Cloth is more up your street?

The denizens of Prattle Towers prefer the patterns at the AntiCraft and are more likely to be found crocheting this Elder God.

Tags: aargh, crochet, cthulhu, runes, tarot

Typo du jour

by Feòrag

England: The UK's biggest planetarium is due to be opened in Winchester soon, and Terry Pratchett will be doing the honours. But I don't think that a Hampshire Chronicle journalist really meant it when they said the centre will feature a variety of astrology shows, including presenter-led displays for schools, licensed pre-recorded films and movies on topical space events.

Pratchett to open planetarium—Hampshire Chronicle, 5th February 2008.

Tags: astronomy, not astrology, Terry Pratchett, typos

Just wondering...

by Feòrag

Tags: creationism, nipples

Catholic upset that nuns are human

by Feòrag

United States: A religious extremist has complained about an advertisement for a Boston gym featuring nuns in a life drawing class. Or more precisely, he complains that the object of his fetishism has been depicted as normal human beings, with human failings, as the Sisters are clearly tempted by the buff young man modelling for them.

C.J. Doyle of the Catholic Action League of Massachusetts told the Herald the ad portrays a callous contempt for the sensibility of Catholics.

Perhaps it's not the nuns that the complainer finds erotic? The model's such a Muscle Mary, the only nuns who would fancy him in real life would be Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

Naked-Man Ad Riles Hub Catholics—WCVB TV, 30th January 2008.

Tags: fundies, nuns