May 21, 2002

Humour breaks out in Northern Ireland

I hope the existence of is a sign that peace really is breaking out in Northern Ireland. It's

a new organisation aimed at promoting parity of esteem for the true Protestant sons of Ulster when it comes to e-commerce and retail therapy. As we know the taigs have got and, until now, the Ulster Protestant had nowhere to turn to stave off this attack upon his or her civil and religious liberties. With this in mind was born. So Protestants of Ulster be sure to fight back through this site, buy all the old tack and tat you require here and be assured that the money will be going to finance my retirement to an island in the Pacific Ocean. Out there no one cares about a united Ireland.

As well as essential items for Drumcree, such a trebuchet sourced directly from the Middle Ages, weatherproof Union Flegs and the obligatory orange juicer, the site offers real, genuine, Protestant Holy Water

This water has been drawn from the River Boyne. A highly trained team from the 5th Battalion of the Free P. Incursionists staged a dawn raid on the foreign Irish state and brought back some water from the River Boyne. The water was collected from near the spot where the Loyalist Ulsterman King William of Orange defeated the pretender, and well known Sinn Fein member, James the Fenian.

Being sourced from the River Boyne is not enough in itself to make Holy Water. Only Holy Water from has undergone the vital, and critical, step of having been blessed by the Protestant Pope Rev. Ian Paisley. Rev. Paisley is well known to us all and his position as a holy man with supernatural powers is well documented. Rev. Paisley said I was only too pleased to bless this water for he went on to add this water now has amazing healing powers.

So, if you have been out all night throwing bricks at the Fenians, and the PSNI, over the peace line in North Belfast this Holy Water is ideal to help heal those cuts and bruises.

Get your amphora of Holy Water drawn from the River Boyne and blessed by Rev. Ian Paisley plus a free Holy Water font (shown below) for only £1,273.95. The amphora is hand made in the Byzantine style and contains nearly half a litre of Holy Water. The water is not safe for drinking and Rev. Paisley says he has no control over bacteria and so accepts no responsibility for the well being of those who may drink this water either by choice or by mistake.

Leave a comment

Evangelism, witnessing and similar activitites go by one name here—advertising, and is no different from spam for viagra, penis enlargement products and pornography. We do not take advertising. If you want to advertise your imaginary friend, please spend your own money on your own web space to do so. Any attempts to use the comments section for advertisements will be deleted, and the perpetrator barred, unless they are particularly stupid, in which case I reserve the right to pinch an idea from Teresa Nielsen Hayden and delete all the vowels.

Allowed HTML: a href, b, br, p, strong, em, ol, ul, li, blockquote, q, pre. If your name has accents in it, things will (hopefully!) work better if you use the XHTML entities for those letters. The same applies if you are using a word processor to compose your comment, then copying and pasting the text—either turn off curly quotes and avoid using em-dashes, or edit your comment after pasting to get rid of them. Garbled comments usually get deleted.

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Feòrag published on May 21, 2002 2:41 PM.

Limits of free speech defined was the previous entry in this blog.

Star bores is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.


About this site
Contact the Prattle
Ego Corner

The Pagan Prattle
c/o P.O. Box 666
Edinburgh EH7 5YW



Creative Commons License
The original material in this weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.