September 2002 Archives

September 30, 2002

The Lost Tribes from Outer Space, Marc Dem

Lost Tribes book cover Bantam, 1977.

YAHWEH, God of Genesis, an extraterrestrial being. YAHWEH, who created man to colonize the planet. YAHWEH, who chose inspectors for a continuing surveillance of earth. YAHWEH who gave Jesus a surprising role in the cosmos. YAHWEH, who set up God's plan, a fateful meeting in space destined since creation... THE LOST TRIBES FROM OUTER SPACE.

Lost, but how? At the whim and behest of Yahweh? Chosen, but how? Here, finally, is the true astonishing interpretation of the Book of Books that successfully explains an exciting new reality... the real beginnings of life on planet earth.

This book, originally published in French in 1974, sets out to answer five enigmas regarding the Bible and the Jews, and in particular who the Jews are really, and why everyone hates them. The truth, it seems, is all in the Bible, as long as you read it literally, without all that mystical claptrap that's been laid upon it.

September 29, 2002

Bargains of the Day: GI Jesus, jesus illusion and angelic pets

eBay is a remarkable source for unique religious artifacts. It's now too late for you to bid on a Custom Jesus KING OF KINGS GI Joe figure.

You are bidding on the greatest figure ever made! Now your 12 inch figures can have salvation and redemption from the one and only SON OF GOD. This figure was hand sculpted, cast in resin, hand painted, clearcoated and epoxied onto a 21st Century figure. The figure was done in the likeness of the late actor Jeffrey Hunter, known for His incredible portrayal of Christ in the movie "King of Kings". The figure has interchangeable hands (3 included) and comes with a Holy Grail cup. Stand included.

Surprisingly, it's rather nicely done, and went for $325! Still available, and somewhat cheaper is the Jesus Christ appears IN YOUR ROOM! T Shirt, currently at $7.99.

STARE AT THE DOTS BETWEEN HIS EYES FOCUSING ON THE CENTER DOT FOR THIRTY SECONDS AND THEN LOOK AWAY.WHEREVER YOU LOOK THERE HE IS! IT'S LIKE MAGIC!... Dedicated to a QUALITY product and PROMPT delivery to the winner. ... Give the vision of Christ today! For best results : Look at the (still) image straight on a few feet back. This may require some effort if the shirt is being worn at the time. Focus on the middle of the five dots that are between the eyes, on the nose area of the image for 20 to 30 seconds (the longer the better) . Then look away, preferably at a wall or anything that is one solid color and you should see Him wherever you look with no problem. Blinking of the eyes often helps the non-believers. Repeated staring and looking away is not recomended. This is strictly a novelty item and should not be used in a way as to represent a true sighting of Jesus. Have fun.

Dog lovers might like the Unique Poodle Angel, one of a range of 219 different angel dogs sold by Country Heaven, and also available as Christmas tree ornaments. Lovers of cats, bears, frogs, pigs and cows are not left out either.

September 25, 2002

Counteracting superstition

Pregnant women in Malawi are now more willing to go for voluntary HIV counselling and testing. Previously, there have been problems because HIV/AIDS, and most other diseases, have been associated with witchcraft:

People in the villages have the misconception that most of these sicknesses are caused by witchcraft which is not the case. If only they could go for testing, they could live longer other than waste money on witchdoctors.

Thyolo women opt for voluntary HIV tests - The Nation, Spetember 25th 2002. (This link is incredibly slow)

Want your book read? Get it banned.

Librarians in Missouri have discovered that the surest way to get everyone to read a book is to ban it. Ever since a local school library banned Phyllis Reynolds Naylor's award-winning Alice series, about an adolescent girl dealing with growing up, the books have been constantly checked out of the local public library. The Harry Potter books are still the most frequently challenged works.

(Will Harrell, executive director of the ACLU of Texas) said the highest number of challenges were based on mystical and pagan references in books. A third of all challenges were based on those concerns.
That suggests to us a movement that is religiously based that is targeting schools to influence, he told the Houston Chronicle for its Sept. 20 editions.

Missouri librarians latest to discover: Banning makes books popular - Associated Press, September 24th 2002.
Banned Books Week web site.

September 24, 2002

Kew circle

A crop circle has appeared in a wheat field at London's Kew Gardens. The flower-shaped formation appeared overnight on Sunday. Crop circle drives botanists round the bend - IOL, September 23rd 2002.

Prophecy in the News

Prophecy in the News was established in 1979 in Oklahoma City, OK, for the purpose of providing the Christian community with the tools needed to study this most obscure of all the methods of interpretation. The Bible contains the story of not only where we came from, but where we are going as well. The most recent article on their website is Goddess Worship: Return of the High Places by Gary Stearman:

Where are these crop circles coming from? Are they merely hoaxes, or the work of alien creatures? Why do they appear so close to ancient Druid "high places," such as Stonehenge or Silbury Hill in England? Gary Stearman reviews the idolatrous worship of the Babylonian gods on top of such "high places" in the Bible, and links them to the modern phenomenon of crop circles.

In it we learn that aliens and demons are aspects of the same thing (but regular Prattle readers knew that anyway), and that modern paganism is allowing the dark world to reassert itself. We are taken on a journey through most of the world and some really incomprehensible bits of the Bible. We learn of the evils of the Catholic Church, and that the artsy "Druids" behind the Eisteddford are really neopagan - the new Archbishop of Canterbury apparently ordained a gay priest, and this is relevant - and the neopagans practise exactly the same rites as used in ancient Babylon.

September 23, 2002

God does nothing

God ignored the prayers of members of a Tennessee Christian church and did not raise 15-year old Jessica Crank from the dead. At her funeral service, New Life Ministries leader Ariel Ben Sherman asked some church members, including the girl's mother, to pray for her ressurection. But God clearly thought it a Bad Idea and did nothing. Instead, Sherman and the girl's mother face charges of child abuse and neglect. Crank was taken to a clinic when a basketball-size growth appeared on her shoulder and workers there urged her mother to seek proper medical treatment. This apparently did not happen and the girl subsequently died of a rare bone cancer. Religous group tries to raise girl from the dead - Associated Press (via Holy Weblog), September 19th 2002.

Mexican 'witch' murders

Four people have been killed, and five wounded, by gunmen who burst into a house of a man accused of witchcraft. The native Mexican village of San Juan Chamula in the state of Chiapas has seen recurring religious violence, with attacks by the dominant Catholic community of converts to Protestant forms of Christianity.

Several other accused witches have been murdered in Chiapas during the last decade. In 1996, a mob beat and hanged a man it accused of drawing his victims' souls into bottles and hiding them in a cave. As many as 12 other men were hacked to death with machetes in Chiapas in the 1990s, reportedly as punishment for practicing witchcraft.
While faith-healing and pre-Hispanic rituals are common in Chiapas, many of the state's largely Indian residents also have a strong belief in, and fear of, reputed practitioners of black magic who allegedly provoke illness or death among their neighbors.

San Cristobal Bishop Felipe Arizmendi condemned the attacks, warning people against taking the law into their own hands. Witch hunters kill 4, wound 5 - Associated Press (via the Tucson Citizen), September 17th 2002.

September 19, 2002

Religious Automata

A technological marvel will greet pilgrims visiting a pandal in Vijayawada for celebrations in honour of Ganesh. A figure of saint-composer Annamayya stands as a guard at the threshold of God. Placing a 5 rupee coin in his hand causes the statue to move into the sacred sanctuary and fetch a sweet for the devotee.

The seven dwarams (doors) open one-by-one as the saint steps towards the idol. There he collects a 'laddu' in a bowl and walks back to give it to the devotee.
The dwarams close one-by-one as Annamayya makes his exit. By the time he reaches the devotee, all the doors would be closed.

A local cloth merchant sponsored the installation. 'Annamayya' ladles out Ganesha laddus The Times of India, September 19th 2002.

Religious murderer detained

A judge has ordered Nabil Ouldeddine, a Muslim man who stabbed an orthodox Jew 20 times to be detained in hospital without limit of time. The attack on Mayer David Myers happened on the top deck of a London bus in October 2000 and his injuries included a severed artery.

The court was told that Ouldeddine was a one-legged high jumper who came to Britain in 1998 for the Paralympics in Birmingham. After his arrest, Ouldeddine had told officers: Israel are the murderers. They kill women and children, so I stabbed him.

He told psychiatrists that his arm had been guided by a woman called Jennifer and he heard voices in his head. Muslim who stabbed Jew to be detained in hospital - The Guardian, September 19th 2002.

Annoying angry youths further

London's police chief wants barking mad fundies to help deter young people from crime. Sir John Stevens wants to the Bible bashers to reach out to disaffected young people, citing research done as a result of the Damilola Taylor case. The Evangelical Alliance is naturally enthusiastic:

Senior members of the Evangelical Alliance are to meet Sir John in coming weeks to discuss ways of collaborating. The alliance, which is launching a values advertising campaign on the theme of forgiveness, also issued a 10 point plan, including praying for the police and even adopting individual officers and police stations to offer them support.

There is evidence that young people listen to evangelists - look at the increased success of the Harry Potter books after Christian extremists started campaigning against them.

Ministers stressed

More than two thirds of ministers in the Church of Scotland suffer from stress and 40% have considered leaving the ministry because of it.

In a poll of almost 600 ministers, 43% felt their health had been affected by stress and a further 28% said their marriage had been adversely affected by their work.
More than three-quarters surpassed the European Working Directive of more than 48 hours, with around 40% reporting working hours of between 57 and 72 a week.

The Kirk's medical advisers have noted that this is no worse than in comparable professions. Church ministers 'under stress' - BBC News, September 18th 2002.

September 18, 2002

Wankers wanted

Masturbate for Peace aims to end conflict through self-love.

There's no greater antidote for war than love. Feelings of hatred and distrust form the necessary basis of armed confrontation. Replace those negative feelings with love and you're halfway towards resolution of any conflict.
However, any real love must start from within. You can't love others without loving yourself first. And, of course, masturbation is the greatest expression of self-love. So it's natural that we, the citizens of the world, are joining together to masturbate for peace.

Wankers can commit themselves to the cause via a form on the home page, and links are provided to sites offering detailed advice on better masturbation, to a range of erotica to help you along and to vendors of Viagra so you can keep going longer and make the world an even more peaceful place. (thanks Charlie!)

Fundies ignored

A small group of extremist Christians were disappointed one Monday this August when school officials in Cromwell, Connecticut, decided to do precisely nothing about their petition calling for a ban on any reference to witches and witchcraft in the school system.

The petition specifies two books, "The Witch of Blackbird Pond," by Elizabeth Speare, and "The Bridge to Terabitha," by Katherine Paterson, that the group feels glorify the practice of witchcraft.
The petition also calls for the ban of things such as a worksheet on the spells and practices used by people accused of being witches in the Salem witch trials, as well as the annual field trip to Witch's Dungeon and Museum in Salem, Mass. It also calls for a ban on more abstract references to witchcraft, such as the title "Cast a Spell," used to introduce spelling techniques in grades one through eight, as well as the practice of some members of the faculty dressing up as witches for Halloween.

They argued that this was all specifically related to Wicca and promoting a particular religion violated the separation of church and state. Book ban petition heard - The Middletown Press, August 27th 2002, (Thanks Jan - the newspaper coverage is in-depth and interesting, and the comments suggest that at least one part of the US isn't infested with blethering fundies!)

Airport symbolism

What on earth is going on at Denver International Airport ? Denver International Airport contains a blatantly Masonic monument. No need to view it from odd angles, nor to probe into incredibly obscure symbolism - it's there. If you ignore the fact that one side has two arms, and another just goes straight up with nothing at right angles to it, then the runways and taxiways are in the shape of a swastika. And there are Germans in the area. Plus, The Queen of England has reportedly been buying up property in Colorado under a proxy. So what does it all mean? Well it means there's a huge secret underground military complex there and it's something to do with Satan-worshipping Nazi Freemasons. And a corrupt politician or two.

September 17, 2002

Grammar checker needed

The Anti-Child Porn Organization, despite the interestingly-placed hyphen, is an organization, comprised of volunteers from all around the world, whose mission is to stop the sexual exploitation of the world's children. So far, so good, and even the invitation to tell them about child porn you find online doesn't indicate anything particularly interesting. But, Windows-using youngsters beware! ACPO publishes Reveal which will tell your parents all about all the dodgy stuff on your computer. Sneakily hidden away where your offspring will never find it, in C:\Programs\Reveal,

Reveal works by searching all files found and comparing each word inside a file against special dictionaries of words commonly used by pedophiles, child pornographers, cultists, occultists, drug pushers and purveyors of hate and violence, It also searches for images, video, and audio files and provides a quick and easy means for you to review these files for content which may be objectionable.

BobCat, of the New York Metropolitan Phreakers and Hackers Society downloaded a copy and ran it. It got very very upset about Netscape's documentation for some reason, but the dictionary it uses was about as well hidden as the program itself. The drug section includes the words BEER and WHISKEY (but not WHISKY, so Scots are obviously not dodgy). The Cult and Occult dictionaries include CROW, EGYPTIAN, MYTH and BONE, but also ALLAH, JUDEO, PAGAN, ATHEIST, DRUID and DHARMA. Two words need adding to the Hate dictionary - ACPO and REVEAL.

September 16, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Baby brainwashing, and yukky poster

It's never too young to start brainwashing your child, and for a mere $4.99, ProductsForBaby.com will sell you The Genesis Teether - a plastic ring with the word "Jesus" in it.

The Genesis TeetherTM makes a nice item to go with a balloon bouquet or a gift basket. It goes with two things we are going to have more of every day - babies and Christians.

The site promises more new Christian baby products over the next few months. (via Jesus Museum).

If you're quick and in the United States, you have just over a day to bid on Our Christian President at eBay.

Our Christian President is a pictorial representation of the ultimate goal of every Christian. That is, that when men look at us, they will see Jesus. Jesus in our words, Jesus in our conduct, Jesus in the love we have for one another. Pres. George W. Bush is striving to fulfill that goal while serving all of us in the toughest job in the country.

The picture was created using outcroppings from hundreds of classic paintings of Jesus Christ, mainly from the Renaissance period. Over 1,500 individual tiles were taken from paintings by masters like Michelangelo, Rembrandt, Raphael, Titian, da Vinci and many others.

The tiles that make up the picture are large enough to be individually viewed. You can see and enjoy hundreds of different representations of the face of Jesus Christ.

Ten copies of this 'open edition' fine art print are up for grabs, it can be yours for only $15. (via bOINGbOING)

Is your neighbour secretly black?

How to recognize Indo-Mongol-Satanoids is

intended as a public service to aid people in recognizing the forms that Satan most exists in at this time.

And from the links on the home page, it would appear to be the usual racist shite, exposing famous people who happen to have full lips as being secretly black, which apparently is a Bad Thing. But try entering the site at a different page, say The 1968 Movie "2001: A Space Odyssey" May Have Been a Prediction about the Events of September 11, 2001, And It May Have Cost the Movie Director, Stanley Kubrick, His Life , and it become much less tedious.

The movie "2001: A Space Odyssey" is widely regarded as a puzzle, or a secret code, containing themes that are rumored to come from various secret societies. This author believes that the 1968 movie "2001" was intended as a prediction of the events that would occur in the real year 2001, most especially the destruction of the World Trade Center towers in New York City on September 11.

Apparently Kubrick died 666 days before the start of 2001, and the numbers 11 and 33 are incredibly significant in the life of Arthur C. Clarke. Eleven has something to do with moon orbits as well and:

The number 33 is a major witchcraft number. It is rumored that David Koresh, Timothy McVeigh, and Jesus of Nazareth were all killed at the age of 33 by self-styled governmental authorities. The number 33 can be decoded from the movie "2001" because the movie was first shown in 1968, which is 33 years before the year 2001.

Below a series of charts demonstrating all this, there are links to many, many pages by the same author going into incredible detail on the matter.

Europe saved by aliens

Half of Europe would no longer exist if UFOs hadn't stopped an even worse disaster at Chernobyl, according to Pravda.

When troublesome events started to occur, some people saw a spaceship hovering above the fourth generating unit of the Chernobyl plant. Eyewitnesses say that an UFO was there for six hours and that hundreds of people saw it. People started writing about it only two years after the catastrophe. Of course, such information appeared in magazines on ufology. As it is generally believed, serious people don't read such magazines and journals.
Here is what Mikhail Varitsky had to say: I and other people from my team went to the site of the blast at night. We saw a ball of fire, and it was slowly flying in the sky. I think the ball was six or eight meters in diameter. Then, we saw two rays of crimson light stretching towards the fourth unit. The object was some 300 meters from the reactor. The event lasted for about three minutes. The lights of the object went out and it flew away in the northwestern direction.
The UFO brought the radiation level down. The level was decreased almost four times. This probably prevented a nuclear blast.

They apparently came back three years later to check the environmental damage. UFO prevents blast at Chernobyl nuclear plant - Pravda, September 16th 2002 (thanks, Charlie).

Holy leaky roof

Hundreds of devotees have flocked to the Rajinder Surji Mandir - a Hindu temple - in Chickpet to have a look at a fluid seeping out of the roof in tiny droplets.

The devotees who virtually blocked the narrow lanes insisted that it was nothing short of divine providence that had sent the kesri fluid.

A similar brownish liquid appeared at the same temple two years ago. `Kesri fluid miracle' at Chickpet temple - The Times of India, September 15th 2002.

September 15, 2002

Aliens invade Israel

It's bad enough when your neighbours want to drive you into the sea, but people in certain parts of Israel have to deal with aggressive aliens as well.

Residents of the towns of Kadima and Rishon Letzion have reported numerous sightings of UFOs in the spring of 1993. Some people have even claimed that UFOs have landed on their lawns. Circles were found on the landing sites, and ufologists discovered silver-colored metal pieces or an oil-like red in the circles.

Some witnesses report seeing the craft's tall, bald-headed occupants, and they haven't come in peace!

Hanna Sameh from the settlement of Burgatu (two miles from Kadima) was doing some housework in the kitchen. All of a sudden, she heard her dog barking very loudly. The woman could see the dog in the window, and she did not believe her eyes. The dog was raised in the air; then it flew by the window and slammed into a wall. Hanna opened the door in order to see what was happening outside. When she stepped out of her house, she could not take another step further. She saw a tall, bald man. The man was gazing at her pickup truck. What have you done to my dog? asked the woman. It was bothering me, as you are now. I can do the same to you; get out of here answered the weird stranger.

Other incidents include the deaths of all the domestic animals in Moshe Poret, including a flock of sheep whose corpse did not decay for four months, and the mysterious illness of a witness in a small village near Rishon Letzion. The aliens have also been hyponotising drivers and reading their minds. Dozens of such incidents have been reported in Israel since 1993. There is the impression that aliens have a plan for Israel. However, no one knows the purpose of their activity. Israel occupied by aliens - Pravda, September 13th 2002.

Bargain of the Day: Get Slim Slippers

The latest craze in Singapore, Get Slim Slippers, are now available on on the web! The slippers are being marketed at people too lazy to lose weight by the traditional "eat less, get more exercise" method:

We all know how to lose weight: diet and exercise, right? If weight loss is so simple, then why do we have such a hard time doing it? Because diet and exercise require us to change our habits, and this isn't so easy. No matter how determined we are at the start, old habits are hard to change.

What if I told you that there is a way to lose weight without joining a gym or changing your eating habits? Get Slim Slippers are the way, to be worn daily for a short period of time.

Apparently they work by a combination of magnetism, reflexology and gravity:

Weird though it sounds, these Slippers actually work. The principles they are based on are simple: reflexology, magnet therapy, gravity; ideas that may seem new to you, but are as old as time itself.

Get Slim Slippers are designed with No Heel and Magnets, in order to apply pressure on the arches and to increase your metabolism naturally. This combination will affect your body in ways you have never felt before.

The site gives more detail for the unconvinced:

With Get Slim Slippers, you will not go on a diet, change your eating habits, take any medicine or do lots of exercises just to get slim. The 6 powerful magnets located near the surface of the slippers will, when walking, stimulate the nerve endings in the sole and increase blood circulation. This effect will speed up your metabolism and improve digestion and elimination. This process helps to get you slimmer, reshape your body, and improve your health.

But be careful if you have any piercings - contraindications include people having metal in their body (other than dental fillings). Looks like I'll have to stick to eating Japanese food, clog morris dancing and nude swimming. Shame.

Hot chocolate

Hindu devotees have been working hard to prevent a two-metre high chocolate Ganesh melting in temperatures of up to 35°C. The statue was made for an annual ten-day festival in which worshippers honour brightly painted statues before immersing them in the sea for good luck. Chocolate god melts in the Bombay heat - IOL, September 13th 2002.

Angolan 'witch' murdered by nephew

A 42-year old Angolan man has been beaten to death by his nephew who believed he was a witch. The nephew had just recovered from a long illness and claimed to be acting on instructions received during his cure. Such beatings have bcome a problem in Huambo province recently. Nephew Beats Uncle to Death Over Witchcraft - Angolan Press Agency (via allAfrica.com), September 11th 2002.

Next: Wednesday opening

Loganair (who operate services on behalf of British Airways) and British Midland have upset the Lord's Day Observance Society on the Isle of Lewis with their plans to offer seven day air services into Stornoway airport. Protestors claim it would be the thin end of the wedge and would threaten a traditional way of life on the island which has caused most people born there to move to Glasgow or Edinburgh. Caledonian MacBrayne is also considering a Sunday ferry service. Second airline makes Sabbath plans - BBC News, September 13th 2002.

'King' Kevin is cracking up (further)

Years of sarcasm and lack of acceptance by the wider pagan community (and everyone else) seem to be getting to self-appointed witch king Kevin Carlyon:

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOCK MY WEBSITE GET THIS:

Not only am I now claiming to be a God (simply because I believe that all males are part of the God figure and all females are part of the Goddess figure - those 'stuck in wrong bodies' or believe that they are born the wrong sex are abberations and don't count) I now know that I will be Immortal!

Last time I heard such a rant, the chap responsible turned up female not much later! MY MAGIC - THERE AND NOW AFTERKevin Carlyon's web site.

September 14, 2002

Russian invents flying saucer

A Russian inventor is looking for $15 million in venture capital to develop a five seater Diskolyot, or flying saucer. The means of generating lift is unconventional and covered by a Russian patent, but Yuri Bezrukov is keeping the details secret as he can't afford an international patent.

Bezrukov hasn't tested a life-size model because of finances, but a smaller electric-powered model he made in 1999 did lift 20 centimeters (8 inches) into the air, he says.
There is a principle of likeness in science, Bezrukov says. If a small one took off, then a larger one will, too.
The flying saucer is designed to be six meters long and fly at a speed of 700 kilometers per hour (437 mph) using two 250-horsepower engines. The price tag for each saucer would be $120,000.

He plans to produce 786 flying saucers per year at the Progress military aviation plant in Arseniev. Russian inventor peddles "flying saucer" at APEC mart - Vladivostok News, September 12th 2002.

September 9, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Californian miscelleny

I'm back from California, where I learned about many exciting products, such as the ANGELITE hair dryer which was advertised as able to prevent leukemia and possible breast cancer from hair driers.

This Christian teddy bear (sure to bring your loved one to Jesus) is typical Prattle material:

Does your heart long for your loved one to be saved? Lead your loved ones to salvation, give them a cute adorable 21 inch christian teddy bear, available at a very special price of $24.95 each. These are fancy bears. "Jesus Bears It All" is embroidered on each teddy bear collar and includes an evangelism tract sure to draw them to salvation. Jesus Is Still The Answer to eternal life and peace!!

But Jesus doesn't have all the toys. Dr. Mira Bears of Healing Spirit are part of a range of physician-created gifts & tools for natural wellness:

Say hello to eight different, loving, wise new friends with unique wellness themes. The healing features include herbal aromatherapy, magnets, crystals, copper, color, and more. Each teddy bear comes with a box of six herbal sachets for the back pocket of the bear and a beautiful educational booklet.

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