September 13, 2003

Bargain of the Day: starve yourself with Jesus

We've had One True Biblical diets before, but never this extraordinary package— The Bible's Way to Weight Loss: NEW $79 VALUE, which appears to be from a Christian version of Weight Watchers:

First Place Member Kit: The Bible's Way to Weight Loss

This kit is needed by every First Place group member to get started on the road to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. It contains the Member's Guide, the Choosing to Change book, 13 Commitment Records, 4 motivational audiotapes, the Prayer Journal and the Scripture Memory Verses: Walking in the Word-everything a person would need to learn how to lose weight sensibly and live a healthy, balanced lifestyle by putting Christ in first place. The only thing the member will need to purchase other than the kit ,is the appropriate Bible study


Hmmm, biblical slimming eh? Surely that is just wandering in the wilderness (or Maidstone as it is now called) and eating nothing but locusts for 40 days. $79 seems a bit steep.

Oh, I dunno. A pound of locusts a day for forty days... Then there's all that butter and garlic. Might run to a bit.

A pound of locusts a day? Ewww, too many legs!

(How many locusts make a pound anyway?)

Well, you can pluck the legs, I suppose. Leave one, though, as a handle for dipping into the garlic butter. Anyway, the more you have to work for your food, the more weight you lose.

How many locusts? Hm. They're not exactly heavy, so I'd have to say a hell of a lot. Look at it this way: more garlic butter.

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This page contains a single entry by Feòrag published on September 13, 2003 8:49 PM.

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