September 12, 2004

Letters to the Editor

As anyone who's a regular visitor to the Prattle knows, we tend to attract some of the more vapid, ranting, clueless members of society who like to remind us that we're going to hell for daring to diverge from their happy little mindset.

Quepirate has been one of the more amusing ranters, he's the one who announced that he was the messiah and when he arrived on Earth he would be taking down the internet. Apparently heaven to Earth transport is a bit iffy as the internet saw fit to ignore the messiah.

I'm not sure what he's selling this time, but it really looks like his medication needs to be adjusted. For your viewing pleasure, with all coding uglies and lack of punctuation intact is his latest missive. Oh, and he's no longer the messiah, he's just a very naughty boy the son of Jacob. I'm sure Jacob is so proud.

Help Wanted: Real TV Also 1 oz. Fine Gold Dust for 1 Dollar guaranteed, I have a billion of them Rev. 21:18,21 IZ... Can you show us a sign in the Heaven Rabbi? Jesus evades the question. By what name do you perform these things? Jesus evades the question. That’s not the same as to say Jesus didn’t know the answers!... Mishna: Someone who was not previously acknowledged as a prophet must prove himself by showing a supernatural sign as proof.... Talmud: A sign or a wonder, according to Rashi, a sign is a supernatural event in heaven, and a wonder is a miraculous event on earth.... The Tetragrammaton -- R. Israel Ben Eliezer is called the Ball Shem Tov, that is the Master of the Good Name, because he knew the secret, full name of God, and could say it in such a way that--with it’s help-he was able to effect strange things and especially to heal men in body and soul. Tales of the Hassidim, Shocken books 1957 USA... Another joker asked Jesus if he could explain the es! sence of Torah while standing on one leg just as R. Hillel did? So Jesus stood on one leg and repeated Hillel’s answer verbatim. The joke is on you Hillel Wrong answer. Now there’s a taste of irony for you. Do you think I have a leg to stand on?.. On one leg then: Here Oh’ Israel. The LORE is God. The LORE is One. ....Does unbinding the sweet influences of Pleiades impress you? Would loosening the supernatural riddle of Orion’s Belt from the Gravitational Maelstrom suffice? Knowest thow the ordinances of Heaven? Is it random or clockwork? Checksum: Clockwork If I drew up a Leviathan with an hook sending a Chile’ through Hell would that constitute a miraculous event on earth? Would you like me to introduce Cherubim to your children to play with? Now wouldn’t that be a precious picture! Care to know the elusive source fish for the blue dye you think is required to comply with Mosaic EDict for a Tallis (prayer shawl)? Checksum: Cuttlefish Did the question, my simpl! e-sons/simpletons, ever occur to you; From where did Israel ge! t blue d ye without any fish in the wilderness for 40 years? Checksum: Pomegranate rinds Hey just like Levi’s Jeans, well what da ya know. ... Is a corner a border? Iz a tassel a fringe? $ a rolled up parchment a door post(s)? Do you know what the meaning of is iz ? ... IZ it a Bronze Serpent on a staff because it comforts me? Checksum: IS IZzzzzz... IZ God’s digital name within the Unified Field Equation; Pi exponent Base 3? Exodus 3:14! Coincidence? Roll over Einstein. E=MCwhaaat! eXXon eSS-off! IZod? ...No ZiON Pi‘san. - ....Will deNile fertilize your “banks”? Checksum: Error Arrears exponential default application ...PONZiyyy wizeguy..... $2000per for bomb proof garbage cans in NYC? Can you make anthrax proof mailboxes as well? Checksum: M.A.D Mutual Assured Destruct, Disintegration of Test Site Planet imminent. What me worry?... What can one man do? Katmandu! FolderSearchLog: Conjuring / Locust worm plague incantation, FileSelect. Q.One, What will it be to be being...WWW! .less? Extract: 3.1, 22 + 32 + 52 + 72 +112 + 132 + 172 = 666 No Sleep till Brooklyn!: ENGAGED 3.1492549121169289... Pi‘san. Seven of Nine: launch confirmed T-minus and counting. “it’s cyberspace” That ought to put a bee in their bonnet. No virus scan, firewall, or encryption devi[l]ce can stop me. I perform kung fu of the mind. ...See, I have opened a door. There is no shutting it. Rev. 3:8... But Nix all that Jive, I’ve Gotta Ticket to Ride. Do you wonder what the surfing is like off the coast of Eden? Care to join me on a Magical Mystery Tour? If I pointed out a billion dollars in gold the purity of glass from under my nose would that kindle your imaginations? Personally I’d rather check the heft of Goliath’s sword while gazing in amazement at a diamond, engraved by the finger of God, set in the High Priest’s breastplate. How about playing Ouija with the Ummin and Thummin for the fun of it. But those aren’t the crowning glory amongst a hoard! of king’s ransoms. Those are just stage props compared to t! he ARK! We can’t very well build a Tabernacle without the ARK now can we. ..My baubles. Now which drawer was it that I stashed my baubles in? Monkey... here kitty kitty... Are you off fool‘in with the meezes and chipmunks as ususal? Wait she left a note; What! Who forsook who!#%^? Who’s been Ed. my Ward ‘round here? Now I know I made myself perfectly clear. I didn’t stutter when I said; “I’ll Be Back” Y2k He‘neh‘ni’s Johnny! My Rod?.. My Staff?.. I swear I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached. Clapp-On... It is told: A small band of robbers came to the Baal Shem Tov and offered to take him to the Land of Israel by a special route, through caves and holes under the earth, for they had heard -- we do not now how -- that that was where he wanted to go. The Baal Shem was willing and went with them for a while, but when he saw the flame of the sword wielded in a circle forbidding him to advance, he turned back. ... OwYeah! That’s the drawer. Incidentally, no! body gets near the Ark and lives except through me. Let’s call it the “SLOMAN SHIELD” for the Irony.... Raiders of the Lost Ark Expedition REAL TV now being arranged. 12 voyagers sought to join me, as well as a camera crew, to reach the Ark and contents. I can’t very well buggy lug it all back to the surface by myself ya‘know. One seat is already reserved for our special Mystery guest. I’ll also need an MC, Andrew Silverstein; The Dice Man has arrived. All areas of participation available.. Base salary: Unlimited credit card for life! Tickets for the field also available. ... After being “given enough time” Satan’s minions, towering Babels of the intellect that they are, have concluded that I am a mere “anomaly,” a chicken pecking away on a trail of birdseed. They have the depth perception of a mud puddle. Did it ever occur to these wabbits to query how the birdseed trails got there the first place? “I dunno...somehow.” Who sum‘d how? Who’s on Firs! t Base that’s WHO! I dunno is on 3rd base, that’s HOW pard! ner. Bel ieve yourselves to be in possession of a crystal ball laying golden eggs? Wrongo bunko. The only ballgame were playing is blackballed and the only “Heavy Metal” getting laid round‘ here is IRONY! ..I don’t need no stinkin‘ looking glass, I Am the Looking Glass. Is Spock now trying to calculate my chances of victory? Checksum: 101% - that’s logic Spock, binary, “thought you would have figured that out by now.” Life IZ but a Dream. Have you asked your oracle what the price of the banana is lately? I am not a wolf in sheep’s clothing. ...I’m a Sheep in Wolf’s clothing.... Girlieman? Checksum: Not!... ...I would like everybody to please inspect one of your dollar bills. Notice how they appear different from your other denominations. That is because that by law these “1” dollar bills may not be altered in quality of paper, base ink color, or design. Notice how it is inscribed “This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private.” Only these Georg! e Washington Dollar bills IZ acceptable to achieve Mailing List Rev.21:27 with purchase of “field tickets” consisting of pin-able printed Ziploc bags of 1 oz. cryptocrystalline quartz gold emulsion 90% coin grade Legal Tender Gold Glass Guaranteed Money Back W/O Q.uestion Rev. 21:18, 21 ...IZ .

Begging request for cash has been removed. Quepirate does not need money for whatever dodgy scam he's running now, but he does desperately need punctuation and a tutorial explaining the use of that big L shaped key on the keyboard.

...For the kiddies: Yes, there is a Santa Clause. In 1965, the same year my house was built on a lot, parceled off from my grandfather’s property with nothing more than a ramshackle overseer's shack on it, WHAMO patented the Super Ball and retailed them for a $ apiece. It was advertised to be the highest bouncing ball in the world at Ten stories tall. No other ball has matched it! since, and I myself must have lost a dozen or more in the ivy! patches and leaf strewn fence borders of my neighborhood, same as millions of others did in those days. What was the secret ingredient used that made these balls bounce so high? They have been blended with Pure Gold Dust extracted from my property during excavation of the house foundation. So go and get your kids a metal detector because each one of these balls contain 1 OZ .999 fine gold.... Happy East(h)er Egg Hunt Ya’ll.... ...The Sufferings of the Messiah by Arthur Szyk: According to a significant Rabbinical legend, the Messiah is to be found at the gates of imperial Rome, among the beggars and the maimed, and treated like one of them. There he sits, in the very citadel of Israel’s enemies, identified not with the mighty, but with the outcasts of humanity, waiting for the Call to deliver His people and to bring a new hope for all. (Bar Mitzvah gift Haggada -- 6th day Adar II. Torah portion Pekudeh Exodus 38:21 - 40:38 Abraham Naphtali son of Jacob.).... The dinner bell is ! ringing. Just desserts will soon be served. May I take your order? Which shall it be? Devil’s Food Cake or... Cherries JUBILLE! ..... I Serve OwYeah! An Equal Opportunity Employer.... If I traded it all ...If I gave it all away for one thing ...Yeah just one thing...If I sorted it out... If I knew all about this one thing... Wouldn’t that be something. .... Can I put my foot down now?....Grand Slam Home Friggin Run? CHECKSUM: IZ

Update: Another missive from the moronic Quepirate has appeared.

You wanted proof - what constitutes proof to you? is their such a thing in your lexicon? ebay

Proof of what? Proof that he's a fuckwit? We'll we've had that from day one, his drivel from his previous auction does nothing to indicate otherwise. Proof that he loves to use eBay as his preferred form of soapbox? We've seen his crap grandstanding not-really-selling-anything auctions before. I am surprised that he's managed to to write something that is relatively coherent for a change, must have had a visit from the grammar fairy. Or perhaps one of his other personalities is running the show today, the one that can spell and use punctuation. Well, almost, he's still having problems with the pesky there, their and they're, still a big improvement over his usual ranting incoherence.

Bampot tags: , .


My. Head. Hurts.

[elided until Pirate learns HTML-Ed.] What no balls this time to link the add. Think no one will hedge their bets for a buck and a half money back if not satisfied - your working for the wrong side pall - better look around and see just who your friends really are - Just how many Ts are you minus at this point.

Who's wearing your clothes wolf? Just how may T's are you Minus at this point. I dont need a looking glass, I Am That Looking Glass - ta tell ya the truth I always lie, in fact I'm lying to you now! Wrap you noodle around that bOZo!

Sorry... I tried to read that but failed miserably.

Punctuation is underrated it seems.


I'm tempted to leave the EBay link, as it almost rates as another Bargain of the Day.

What's with Quepirate's new obsession with minus T? What is minus T? If only I could summon the will to actually give a toss.

The usual warning for anyone thinking of buying from Quepirate, also known as Edward Nathan Schwarz of New Jersey, he has a history of ripping people off. So if you actually get your bag of gold dust, don't be surprised if it turns out of be gold glitter.

The Proof is in the pudding, never mind my punctuation. It won't make any difference no matter what I say untill I start to hand out dollar bills stapled to copys of Ebay adds. Think I'll get a response? CHECKSUM:IZ...The worm in Neutons Apple She says; "The world is round and red. It swells to ripeness falls and rots." She thinks she knows allot of what Neut knows not!...BTY I posted my picture so you can now know who you are speaking to, try link in website or copy and paste [elided until Pirate learns HTML-Ed.] ...see ya on TV Ya`ll.

You know, Pirate, if you were able to read the simple instructions above (which we know you can't since you double-posted), you would see that it is perfectly possible to put your link into your comments, and therefore not require the reader to copy and paste. You'd think a computer genius like yourself would know how to do that, especially with such a huge clue as the paragraph starting "Allowed HTML".

As the topic of this fine site is religious loons, we are perfectly able to deal with people lying to us as they try to explain the nonsense they believe is the truth.

Hey, Red Wolf! This bit must be directed at you, seeing as you live somewhere with dollars, and I don't:

I would like everybody to please inspect one of your dollar bills. Notice how they appear different from your other denominations. That is because that by law these "1" dollar bills may not be altered in quality of paper, base ink color, or design. Notice how it is inscribed "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private." Only these Georg! e Washington Dollar bills IZ acceptable...

Trouble is, I thought Strylia only had dollar coins, and didn't bother with notes till $5. And those notes are plastic, not paper (Source: Australian Government Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade).

OwYeah! Everybody is running their mouths about petty criticisms as if it makes a hill of beans. ain't time for corrections or html right now though thanks for the free edititing help I'll use it later- right now I'm Miner 49er from "clouds of gold" got pix and all will be listing on ebay soon - talk about miraculous event on earth? Checksum:IZ

"Everybody is running their mouths"

Ewwww.... Now we know - QuePirate's language difficulties are caused by him trying to type with his tongue!

We haven't had dollar notes for years, the one dollar coin was introduced twenty years ago. We went to one and two dollar coins, then changed over to weird polymer notes for the $5 denominations up. New Zealand followed, no doubt sensibly waiting until Australia got the bugs out of the system, and many other countries now use them too.

While the plastic notes are pretty crappy (the old paper notes were beautifully designed), our coin designs are gorgeous and use native animals.

You know, in that last eBay link, the photos look very like a chalybeate spring.

hey honyacker - chalybeate springs have teltale sign of "brown algea" not gold colored as these clouds are. Besides like I said $126 worth cash money. lot of work though condensing floating gold molecules- an ounce of gold can be drawn into 26 miles of wire - an ounce can cloud up a whole lot of streem. Still interesting phenomena, No? check it out at ebay {QuePirate still unaware of <a> tag and its attributes, and we're not going to make a live link for him, nor go to the strenuous effort involved in copying and pasting].

Chalybeate means there is iron in the water. Nothing to do with algae. It makes whatever the water runs over rust coloured, just like the mud in your photographs, and the rock in this one. As far as I know, mud with gold in it looks like mud, and prospecting involves lots of guessing.

Now he's calling us honyacker. As he can't spell, this could mean anything, but I suspect it's just another manifestation of Quepirate's increasing insanity.

It's a Googlewhackblatt (or at least it was, until yesterday!) and appears to be Ebonics, leading me to believe Mr. Pirate is a middle-aged white man trying to sound cool.

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This page contains a single entry by Red Wolf published on September 12, 2004 10:44 PM.

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