February 2005 Archives

February 25, 2005

Tsunami still inspiring nuts

The more observant among you will have noticed some new additions to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List, all of them in the Religious Insights category. One is a fairly boring Christian number of the beast prediction but the other two are far more interesting. First up is Sheldon Nidle writing on behalf of the Spiritual Heirarchy and the Galactic Federation, who explains that it was Mother Earth farting:

Recently, your global society suffered a great tragedy in Southeast and East Asia. This calamity was caused by the need to relieve the pressure of two large tectonic plates pushing up against one another. In a message a couple of weeks ago, we informed you that Mother Earth needs to move into the next stage of her return to full consciousness. This coming stage presages a vast increase in seismic and volcanic activity. Mother Earth accomplishes these movements in a manner that causes minimal loss of life. If the entirety of these two plates had moved, the loss of life would have been in the tens of millions! Again we caution you about the need to understand these immense processes in the broadest of perspectives. Mother Earth is preparing herself for your new reality. This means that, eventually, the Earth as you know her will alter enormously. Her electromagnetic fields and even their polarity will change. Likewise, her appearance and the processes by which she maintains herself and her highly diverse ecosystem will alter.

But don't panic--according to the update for 22nd February:

As noted in our last few messages, our scientific teams are also working with your planetary Elohim to stabilize Mother Earth. Your beloved planet still needs to make a number of corrections to many of her surface regions. We are now formulating a scenario whereby this can be done with a minimum of distress to your global society.

All this activity attracted the attention of venerable net.kook Robert McElwaine, who responded on the 20th January in alt.alien.visitors:

          TO: The Galactic Federation and the "spiritual hierarchy"
          C/O The Planetary Activation Organization

               This is my reply to paragraph 1 of the January 4, 2005 
          Galactic Federation Update, http://www.paoweb.com/sn010405.htm :

               In one or more past Updates, The Galactic Federation 
          bragged about having TRANSPORTER BEAMS that can TELEPORT 

               The Galactic Federation had PLENTY of time (25 minutes 
          for Sumatera, much longer elsewhere) to move ALL of the 

          SO A COUPLE OF HOT-SHOT "ascended masters" (SO-CALLED) CAN 
          FINISH THEIR OWN PET PROJECTS ?!  First Contact is ALREADY 
          EIGHT YEARS LATE !

               Like the "spiritual hierarchy", "mother earth" ALSO is 
          part of the NEGATIVE POWER, as described in my Article 
          "NEGATIVE Divinities" which can be found at 
          http://members.aol.com/rem460/badgods.txt and at 
          http://www.geocities.com/remspiral7/badgods.txt .

                                   Robert E. McElwaine
                                   PAO Member
                                   Eckankar Initiate
                                   B.S., Physics and Astronomy, UW-EC
                            http://members.aol.com/rem547 PLUS
                            Preserve BOTH on CD-R and PRINT-OUTS

          See also http://members.aol.com/rem460/heldback.txt , or 
                   http://www.geocities.com/remspiral7/heldback.txt .

          P.S.: PASS IT ON !

February 24, 2005

Homophobic Christian Fundamentalist Preachers as Pets

United States: Tired of dealing with the cruel taunts of Christian Fundamentalist preachers, FistOn.Org has developed their own thoroughly scientific method of dealing with this rightwing menace. They capture them, shrink them and sell them as pets.

They come complete with helpful pet care tips.

Your preacher has never been four inches tall before; neither has it ever found itself screaming inside a fruit jar with holes in the lid. It will therefore feel a tad frightened and mistrustful, and may rend its little preaching garment in a droll sort of despair, just like a real Biblical character, whoever that was. When you arrive home, your pet will likely be all tuckered out from damning you to eternal hell.

February 21, 2005

New Zealand's Stonehenge

New Zealand: The Phoenix Astronomical Society has unveiled it's own version of Stonehenge, designed to work properly in the antipodes.

The astronomical society's volunteers supplied 11,000 hours of labour over the 18 months the henge took to build.

The result of that toil is a henge of 24 upright pillars and connecting lintels that is 30m in diameter and about 4m high. In the centre of the henge is a 5m-tall obelisk, the eye of which points at the south celestial pole.

Set into a tiled mosaic that runs out from the obelisk along the meridian is a 10m analemma, the figure of eight pattern that the path of sun traces over a year.

Outside the circle of the henge stand six heel stones, the markers for the rising and setting points of the sun at solstice and equinox.

Maori astronomical achievements are also celebrated in the new monument:

To make the henge truly of Aotearoa (the Maori name for New Zealand), the astronomers have ensured that their creation marks the stars and constellations that Polynesian navigators used on their epic voyages across the Pacific Ocean, and they have also incorporated Maori lore.

NZ unveils Stonehenge replica - BBC News, 14th February 2005.

Catholics the new satanists

United States: Bizarre allegations have surfaced during an investigation into the death of a nun, Sister Margaret Ann Pahl, in 1980. Bizarre allegations which bear a stunning familiarity to the completely bogus ritual abuse myth which was circulated by fundies in the late 1980s and early 90s.

An investigation by The Blade based on hundreds of police and diocese records, as well as interviews, shows that prosecutors are still examining details of the slaying - including a pattern of stab wounds resembling a cross - while interviewing people about the abuse allegations in an expanded probe.

Investigators have talked to numerous priests and former students at local Catholic grade schools to determine if they knew anything about children being molested in bizarre ceremonies involving a small ring of clerics, according to several people interviewed by police.

I'm sure they have learned the lessons of the 80s and will not be asking any leading questions.

Four women told detectives about being abused between the late 1960s and 1986 during cult-like ceremonies involving altars and men dressed in robes, the accusers told The Blade. I've had nightmares about this since I was a child, said one woman, who asked not to be named. I didn't think anyone would believe me.

She did not explain why she failed to come forward during the original moral panic, when her claims whould have been treated sympathetically and with absolute credulity. This particular case stems from a single woman who had undergone therapy, although we will have to wait for the case to go to court to discover if she was genuinely abused by the priests, or merely convinced that she had been by her therapist.

February 20, 2005

Aliens ban moon trips.

India: The Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) has announced that it is to send an unmanned mission to the moon, rather than a crewed one as expected. Speculation is rife as to why this might be:

The sudden reverse turn in India's plan and action is interesting. According many international space research think tanks, American and Russians were told by the Extraterrestrial world body of the Universe that they should not send any human beings to moon. Many even go to the extent of suggesting that Apollo 11 never landed on the moon. Some have suggested that Apollo 11 did land on the moon only to find UFOs and other advanced civilizations using moon as a space station.

ISRO announcement provides some light on the fact that there were several reports in the media that UFOs and Extraterrestrial civilizations were contacting Indian Government. Several UFO sighting still continue in the Himalayas region. There are also reports of underground UFO bases in Indo-China border areas.

India announces no manned lunar mission -- like in Russia and America did Extraterrestrial UFOs tell India not to go to moon with humans on board? - India Daily, 19th February 2005.

February 19, 2005

Today's weird search engine referrer

It seems that someone found the Prattle today by searching for free online powerful magic no fucking about.

Today's weird spam

419 scammers seem to have realised that adults with imaginary friends are more likely to be gullible than the rest of us, as this spam purporting to be from a David Arnold (and written in the finest Christian English) demonstrates:

Greeting in the name of the lord.
My name is DAVID ARNOLD, I am a very busy business Man, i reside in Holand where i run my businesses. The lord has laid it on my heart to be in convenant with him,and in so doing be a blessing to his house and to other charity organisation through my finances. He said i should support six churches, which i have pair up in twos.
I came across your ministry through a business friend that your ministry has been a blessing to. In this course of
fulfilling Gods word, i will send a via MONEY ORDER of 7.500.00 EURO which will be shared between your church and THE WORD OF FAITH FAMILY CHURCH This money should be shared thus as specified by God.
1)1.000.00 EURO for the church project and other pressing needs of the church, like TV ministry.

2)1.000.00 EURO for the needy and the less previlegde ones in the church.

3)1,500.00 EURO for the pastors welfare.

The above breakdown is for your church.However, Upon receipt of the MONEY ORDER and after proper
accreditation of the MONEY ORDER, you will remit the balance to the minister in charge of WORD FAITH FAMILY CHURCH"ASAP. If this is right, kindly send me a name and address to my private email
address and not to my business email address(david_arnold_99@yahoo.com)of whom the MONEY ORDER will be
made out to ASAP.
I will like to inform you that the fund will be made available to the church quarterly for a year.
Thanks and God bless
Yours in Christ

And then I checked my filters, and found more!

February 17, 2005

Deaf Pagans welcome after all

England: The Children of Artemis have reconsidered their earlier decision, to the satisfaction of SignPagan. SignPagan's representative told the Prattle we are really glad that CoA have had a changed of heart on this issue and look forward to co-operating for future events.

February 15, 2005

The-rapists at it again.

United States: A former Roman Catholic priest has been sentenced to 12-15 years in prison for child rape by a Boston court. Nothing odd about that--the scandal has been a major news story for a few years now. But the case is not as clean cut as usual because it seems the only evidence against Paul Shanley comes from the 'recovered' memories of his purported victim.

The case hinged on the reliability of the victim's memories of the abuse, which he said he recovered several years ago as the clergy sex abuse scandal unfolded in the media...

...He was arrested in California in May 2002, and brought back to Massachusetts in handcuffs -- charged with raping four boys at St. Jean's. All four claimed they recovered memories of the abuse after the scandal broke.

But the case ran into numerous problems. In July, prosecutors dropped two accusers in what they said was a move to strengthen their case. Then, on the day jury selection began, they dropped a third accuser because he disappeared after a traumatic experience on the witness stand at a pretrial hearing last fall.

One of the accusers dropped from the case was Gregory Ford, a prominent victim in the clergy sex abuse scandal and among those who have settled lawsuits with the Boston Archdiocese. Ford was a friend of the victim left in the criminal case against Shanley, and the former priest's attorney contended the man's recovered memories were made up to match Ford's accusations -- and to profit financially in a lawsuit.

Defrocked priest sentenced to 12 to 15 years for child rape - Boston Globe, 15th February 2005.

Deaf Group Refused Communicator at Pagan Event

Note: This matter has now been resolved, to the satisfaction of SignPagan.

England: The following arrived in my inbox, and was originally scheduled for publication somewhere with a much bigger readership then here. In light of the note above, this has become unnecessary.

On the 5th March, a group who claim to promote an ethical approach to Wicca in the UK are holding a national event at Fairfield Halls in Corydon. It is expected to attract hundreds of people with talks, workshops and a huge collection of market stalls. The event is due to finish with a ball until one in the morning.

Crystal Rose, a Deaf Witch from Derby wanted to go to this event with some friends but was concerned that she would not be able to make the most of it without a BSL communicator. She is also a founding member of the SignPagan project which aims to increase Deaf access to alternative-faiths and events across the country.

When SignPagan contacted Children of Artemis, the group responsible for this event, they were unresponsive. Eventually they claimed that Fairfield Halls would be too small to accommodate a BSL communicator, despite the event attracting hundreds of people. Children of Artemis then explained that the only way that the group would be allowed to bring a communicator or interpreter would be if they bought them a ticket. Even after receiving all of the information regarding the Disability Discrimination Act, they still refused to make any allowances and eventually stopped responding.

SignPagan contacted Fairfield Halls to ask for their opinion as the venue provider. An official at Fairfield explained that according to their disability access policy, a person in a wheelchair must pay for a ticket but their attendant does not have to pay because they are viewed as a service and not a consumer, they did not see why this should be any different for a Deaf person with a communicator.

(Contact details supplied)

Bargain of the Day: Magic paper

Today's bargain really is a bargain - it won't cost you a thing, even though the bits of paper printed with some old poetry have incredible powers:

A Breslov student in Jerusalem sent me about 10 wallet sized cards printed with the Tikkun HaKlali.
The Tikkun HaKlali is also known as The General Remedy or The Ten Healing Psalms.

Rabbi Nachman specified ten psalms that he said contain the general remedy for maladies of the soul, especially depression.
By simply carrying this card it will help you overcome sin, provide protection and remedy any problem you might be experiencing.

I have these cards all over the house, cars, wallet, computer etc.
So far so good!

The student who sent it to me told me how they offered these cards to 3 Israeli soldiers patrolling the Old City of Jerusalem.
2 of them took it and the 3rd declined (he felt it would not help him in any way).
They were subsequently involved in a bomb blast.
The 2 with the Tikkun HaKlali cards survived.
The 3rd died - may Hashem have mercy on his soul!

If you would like me to send you one - free of charge - please e-mail me your name and address to silberman6000@yahoo.com

The ten psalms (to be read in this order) are: 16, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, 150.

The rest of the site, The Jewish Prophecy - FULFILLED! is fascinating, for the usual Prattle definition of that word.

Note: the discussion of this at LiveJournal is getting rather interesting.

February 14, 2005

TGTCL: latest additions

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List continues to grow. Today's entries are:

Religious Insights: Tsunami Was God's Punishment Claims Former Chief Rabbi - The Scotsman, 31st January 2005 (also Ireland Online the same day.

The tsunami that ravaged southern Asia last month was God's punishment for world support for Israel's plan to withdraw from the Gaza Strip, a former chief rabbi has claimed.

When the Holy One, Blessed be He, is angry with the nations of the world that don't help Israel -- but want to evacuate and disengage, and interfere in our affairs and harm us -- then the Holy One, Blessed be He, claps his hands in sadness, and this causes the quake, former Israeli Chief Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu told the ultra-Orthodox Ma'ayanei Hayeshua magazine.

Thanks to tjc for spotting this one: Tsunami was 'divine visitation upon Sabbath pleasure seekers' - The Scotsman, 10th February 2005. Presbyterian minister John MacLeod said:

It has to be noted that the wave arrived on the Lord's Day, the day that God has set apart to be observed the world over by a holy resting from all employments and recreations that are lawful on other days.

Experiments Gone Wrong: Was Tsunami caused by human hands trying to develop alternative energy from Tectonic plate frictions and movements? - India Daily, 9th February 2005.

Joke Conspiracies: (new category) Get ready for another fake "terror attack", a la 911 - Owamanga in alt.conspiracy, alt.politics.bush, misc.survivalism and alt.california, 11th February 2005.

Ahhh, but you left out the bit about the real Flight 77 then getting it's wings cut off and converted into a special submarine with 160 windows so that top US & Russian officials could watch the Tsunami from just off the Sri-Lankan coastline. It's rumored that tickets on Sub-77 cost more than superbowl.

I'm not suggesting we created the Tsunami, far from it. Apparently the Government has been able to talk to Dolphins since the late 80's, and they told us it was coming. I guess their computers are better than ours, and er, probably waterproof too.

Bargain of the Day: Bible Hangman

Hangman Bible for Macintosh is an excellent tool for religious homeschoolers--not only do you get to indoctrinate your child, but the unusual word order in the game's name gives them a head start in Christian English. Not bad for $25 (US). So, what is it?

[Non-violent, my arse!]Hangman Bible is a religious-themed take on the classic hangman game, the same game we all played when we were kids, on paper or on the blackboard at school. Hangman Bible is a classic word game. It's easy to play, and fun for all ages. Letters can be chosen using the mouse or the keyboard. Words can be selected from various religious-themed built-in categories, suitable for Sunday Schools. Hangman Bible is a colorful, educational game with digitized sound effects, speech, non-violent graphics, a little cultural literacy, and whole lot more. Non-violent, family software at its best.

Hangman Bible supports the speech synthesis that's built-in to most Macs. The speech synthesizer can spell and/or say the word that was just guessed. It can even speak words of encouragement when you win or lose the game. (Registered users can customize these phrases.) Hangman Bible includes many speech-related enhancements, making the game much more fun for visually-challenged users.

Another exciting feature of Hangman Bible is the Knowledge Area. Game words (that is, the words that you have to guess in the game) can include information about that particular word or phrase. For instance, if the word category is Saints, when the game ends, information about the Saint just guessed will be shown.

Hangman Bible now features built-in word categories, such as: Apostles, Bible Stories, Books of the Old Testament, Books of the New Testament, Christmas, Jewish Months, Popes, Religious Words and Phrases, Sacraments, Saints and Women in the Bible.

Hangman Bible is a colorful, educational game with digitized sound effects, speech, non-violent graphics, a little cultural literacy, and whole lot more. The perfect game for your home or for Sunday School. It's available now for a free 10-Day Trial.

It seems the Christian English dictionary defines non-violent a little differently than the regular, Satanic dictionaries. I suspect the entry reads a little like this:

non-violent adj. Of poor quality, not very accomplished. non-violent graphics, low resolution, blocky images see Sinclair ZX Spectrum.

As for the conventional definition of non-violent, well, when you lose (and I'm ashamed to admit that it took me far longer than expected to lose a game) the hanged man swings ominously, an impressive touch of realism for such a simple game. But non-violent? My arse!

Still, if you are tempted by this remarkable shareware product, the requirements are quite modest -- you need a PowerPC Macintosh with screen resolution of 800x600 (or more), running OS9 or OSX. And victims of the Borg need not worry, as A Windows version is also available.

Strange Spam of the Day

[Cheesy Raelian graphics]Normally I get 200-250 spams per day. And they get filtered out and deleted. But before they're deleted, I glance at the From: and Subject: lines, just in case that offer of a million dollars is coming from my agent instead of a fly-by-night low-life.

This isn't worth a million dollars, but it's definitely priceless in Fortean terms Iranian Raelian spam. Complete with pyramids, Greys, flying saucers, and some sort of come-on in Arabic script (presumably Farsi, which -- not unusually -- I can't read).

Anyone willing to volunteer a translation? (Warning: the spam is included in the extended entry below as inline images -- about 160Kb.)

February 8, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Expensive pebbles

If I'm going to pay >$750 for a bit of rock, then I'd expect it to be diamond or something, but apparently (according to the vendor), these WISHING ROCKS are Powerful, Magical, will bring you Luck and Happiness, and so must be worth it, right?

MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! Wishing rocks from the Last Frontier! These rocks have been used throughout history for meditating, praying, and of course, wishing. Their mere presence in your life brings a sense of serene spirituality, and their use in rituals or concentrated prayers brings an overwhelming feeling and knowledge of completeness and understanding, as though whatever you wish for will come to fruition, what you've longed for will be yours. It's a peace-gaining experience to own, use and cherish the wishing rocks. These wishing rocks have never been touched by human hands until acquired specifically for you, which makes these wishing rocks perfect for all of your dreams and wishes!

February 7, 2005

Bye bye, Trekkies!

What does Star Trek have to do with the Tsunami?. Everything, according to Rev. John "Transporter Buffer" Mayfield of the Order Of The Isolinear Temple. In an egregiously cross-posted article, We'll Be Leaving May 13th, he calls on Trekkies to leave the planet.

On May 13th, 2005, after the series finale of Star Trek: Enterprise, we will shed our containers and join our space brothers on their star ships in orbit.

With the ending of the Star Trek franchise, there is no longer any reason for us to stay on Earth. The end of the franchise is a sign the world will soon face apocalyptic catastrophes and will be completely destroyed. We know full well the tsunami in the Indian Ocean was a precursor of future calamities to come. The cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise further solidified our beliefs.

Thousands of us, consisting of Star Trek fans all over the world, will be beaming up our katras to the space brothers star ships as we rise to the level of Kholinar above Earth and travel along side our Heaven's Gate cousins.

So, what can we do to stop this terrible loss to humanity?

The only event which will reverse our decision and the fate of Earth is for UPN to renew Star Trek: Enterprise for the 5th, 6th and 7th seasons.

That last bit makes me wonder if it isn't a candidate for the Intentional Humour category.

Bargain of the Day: mucked-up pancake

[Jesus, allegedly]Shrove Tuesday isn't till tomorrow, but Jesus doesn't seem to be very good at timing his appearances, which is why we feature this Vision of Jesus Christ on a Pancake as today's bargain.

The pictured comestible apparently contains, as you might have guessed, an image of Jesus. The vendor has described it in detail, but I suspect they have special spiritual eye sight, because I can't see it at all.

Jesus appeared on my apple pancake. I was shocked to see it when I flipped it over. A radius of apple halo crowns His head, and his eyes are upturned to heaven. This is a miracle to turn the direction of my life to the right path. Thank you for this vision Lord, I hope others may see it as proof of Your mysterious ways.

February 6, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Flashing Jesus

Today's bargain is a job lot of flashing Jesii, complete with flowing ginger locks:

[See Jesus flash!]These Jesus statues can be seen gracing the dashboards of delivery trucks in Christian states throughout India, but are new to America.

Lot of 7: 3 Jesus blue, 3 Jesus black, plus ONE Mary!

All are plastic with 2-3 colors of flashing LEDs! Very cool looking at night. An excellent way to profess one's faith. Jesus runs on 12V only; Mary runs on 6V or 12V. Put one at the peak of your Christmas tree! Keep one in the window of your home as a guardian!

NOTE: Mary and 2 of the Jesus statues need simple repair. The electronics work, but the statue has come off of its base and needs to be reglued.

I would prefer to sell them as a lot, but if you see this and are interested in purchasing just one; then if the lot does not sell, I can sell you one in good working condition for $9.99 plus $4.00 shipping.

Jesus - Goth as Fuck

Jesus Was Gother Than You and Shanmonster can prove it!

Christ was into body piercing. He only did it a few times, but what a statement he made with his piercings! He had a huge-guage piercing gun zap his hands, feet, and side. To top it all off, he did it all in front of an audience, making him one of the first performance artists...

...He spent time in tombs. Like I mentioned before, he hung out with Lazarus in one once, but there's much more to it. He once pretended to be dead for three days so that he could sleep in one. How goth can you get? I'll bet you never lived in a tomb. Only Christ, vampires, and Poppy Z. Brite characters get to do that.

Of course, certain barking mad fundies disagree, and like nothing more than sending the Shanmonster hate mail:

Holy shit! Not being saved is hard work! These industrious Christians certainly keep me busy, although I often wonder why they seek me out just to flame me. There's an awful lot of people who express their hate by telling me of Jesus' love. Kinda ironic, hmm? I've never sent an unsolicited flame in my life. Oh well. Who knows? There's probably a rationale for it hidden somewhere in the bowels of that great Holy Bible (the real Bible, mind you, and not the hordes of Satanic Bibles)....

And it seems they also write in that special language - Christian English:

By the way, after I realized just how little regard most people hold for proper grammar and spelling, I've left off using sic after each error. Please consider the following letters (in reverse chronological order) to be held under a blanket sic.

(via Carnival of the Godless, hosted this week at Pharyngula)

February 4, 2005

The Blowers' Arms

United Kingdom: The folk who brought you the Inflatable Church have turned their talents to something useful - The World's First Inflatable Pub.

The pub is 40ft long, 19ft wide and 22ft high. It can be customised for use as a fully working pub, with room for a bar and 30 customers.

The pub can be erected in 10 minutes with 2 small blowers and can be sited on any firm, level surface.

An internal aluminium frame can be used to support additional lighting, sound systems and also doubles as a safety barrier.

No news on the inflatable cool cellar with room for several casks of real ale.

February 3, 2005

Tedious Canadian rock band caused the tsunami

Just when you think that there cannot possibly be any more to add to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List, something comes along that makes you wonder if it's the work of a postgraduate AI student, hoovering the cat and generally avoiding writing their thesis. In this case, the questionable character is one LIBERATOR, who postulates that the band Rush is part of a tsunami-creating conspiracy.

The gifts I used lastnight to detect RUSHs idiot band people at the bar, as well as knowing the Virginia Newbon porn people were actually her people, even talking to her in the bar as they looked at me.

Jewish trillionaires engineered this. First I need good psychics, to track this. Study the situation. Identify them, and they are being shielded by witches, that probably befriend RUSH and talk to RUSH daily, they trained Virginai Newbon, thus having personal access gives them ability to provide false signals that lead them astray.

The Tsunami murders - RUSH failed - alt.music.rush, alt.fan.clint-eastwood, alt.music.bon-jovi, alt.fan.kirsten-dunst, rec.martial-arts, 23rd January 2005.

Scouse spooks

England: Paranormal researchers have been called in by the owners of a former shipyard in Liverpool because Weird Shit allegedly happens there:

Site manager Mike Rider said: You can walk down the corridor, it's cold even in summertime and feel your hair stand up and tingles down your spine.

Quite a lot of times, when I've been sitting here at the desk, you see something in the corner of your eye.

His daughter, Amy, says she regularly finds the same glass fallen from a tray in the canteen.

She said: Every morning when we come in there's normally a glass fallen off that tray. It's always that glass and it's never, ever broken. It's very strange.

Ex-shipyard calls ghost hunters - BBC News, 31st January 2005 (thanks to Andrew Ian Dodge).

A funny thing happened on the way home from the pub

United Kingdom: The new Freedom of Information Act is being used in an entirely predictable manner by the Independent--to obtain files relating to UFO sightings. Last year, the Ministry of Defence's UFO unit was contacted regarding 88 instances of someone seeing something they did not recognise in the sky:

A report from Devizes in Wiltshire on 24 September last year records an object that: Looked liked a big ball of fire coming down from the sky with a tail and sparks coming off the end of it. Another, from Somerset the week before, states: The object looked like a great bright light and was really intense, like a ball of fire coming down from the sky, rapidly moving towards the ground.

Although such reports might be discounted as meteor showers or other astronomical phenomena, other sightings are not so easy to dismiss. A report from Surrey on 20 May last year describes a UFO as having grooves and windows but no room for humans. Even the MoD inspector notes that the witness had seen the object so clearly.

Many of the other sightings refer to UFO's changing colour, speed and shape. The most common colours are yellow, orange or black.

In a moment of creative genius, the newspaper referred to the documents as X-files.

The truth is out there: declassified reports of UFO sightings reveal 88 sightings last year - The Independent, 3rd February 2005.

February 1, 2005

Tsunami conspiracies run and run

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List has been frequently updated since it was first posted, and the most recent additions required a whole new category: Future tsunamis in the making. You see, not only was the tsunami the work of evil governments, an experiment gone wrong or aliens, but they either plan to do it again, or their activities will inevitably lead to a repeat performance.

India Daily reports on two possible scenarios. Firstly, the aliens are working on sub-tectonic experiments in the Indian Ocean. Strong aftershocks and UFO sightings are evidence of this nefarious activity:

According to some experts, these are signs of possible experimentation with tectonic plates by some entity. People in Nicobar island complaints something is going on under the ocean -- deep underground -- many miles below the water surface.

The pattern of aftershocks is also strange. Normally on plotting the same they show a gradual decrease in the moving average of Richter scale reported. This time no pattern can be found. After one large aftershock, a considerable time lapses before the next one. It seems someone is controlling the after shocks and making sure plates are not over stressed.

And in addition, anecdotal evidence suggests that boats are mysteriously disappearing in the area:

A sailor in the Shipping Authority of India Limited who also sailed in transatlantic shipping routes says, this part of the Indian ocean resembles now Bermuda triangle region.

A week later, and another hypothesis emerges concerning the pattern of aftershocks: someone is building a tunnel under the Indian Ocean, towards the Himalayas. The method by which this has been determined is a little like that for finding ley lines.

When the epicenters of these quakes are joined with a straight line, it seems that the aftershock epicenter is moving along this line. The aftershocks are between 5.2 and 6.2 in Richter scale. After a series of aftershock there is approximately 78 hours of gap before the next series appears.

They do not indicate which map they used, or if the curvature of the Earth has been accounted for.

Red Wolf had better beware, for Sydney is due to be destroyed by earthquakes and tsunamis fifteen days ago.

UFO Sighting and Strange Signals reported again in Indian Ocean sub tectonic experiment? - India Daily, 24th January 2005; Eight more quakes in Andaman-Nicobar -- aftershock epicenters moving northwards -- someone building tectonic plate level tunnel towards Himalayas? - India Daily, 31st January 2005.

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