October 2005 Archives

October 31, 2005

Water and electricity do not mix

United States: a pastor at a Waco, Texas, church has been electrocuted during a baptism. The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, grabbed a microphone while stood shoulder deep in water.

Pastors at University Baptist Church routinely use a microphone during baptisms, [church business administrator Jamie] Dudley said.

He was grabbing the microphone so everyone could hear, Dudley said. It's the only way you can be loud enough.

See what can happen if you neglect basic science education?

Texas Pastor Electrocuted During BaptismBrietbart.com, 30th October 2005.

In an English country garden

England: An annual pumpkin growing competition between two villages has been scrapped after allegations of cheating.

he row broke out after the manager of a plant nursery in Milford-on-Sea, in Hampshire, led his village to victory by growing an 819lb (317kg) pumpkin in a greenhouse. Competitors from neighbouring Everton questioned the integrity of Ian Paton's win, arguing that all entered pumpkins should be grown without cover, on allotments and in gardens.

Milford fired back with counter claims of rule bending by Everton.

After members of Everton and Lymore Social Club retaliated with the claim that every entry should be grown from seeds of the Hundredweight variety - Milford gardeners traditionally favour Atlantic Giant seeds - the social club at Milford organised a meeting to thrash out the rules of the competition, to which no one turned up.

Row over pumpkin circumstance The Grauniad, 31st October 2005.

October 30, 2005

Yet Another Australian Cult Leader up on Child Sex Charges

Australia: Kenneth Emmanuel Dyers, co-founder of the self-styled spiritual healing group Kenja, was arrested yesterday at his house in Bundeena in Sydney's south over the alleged aggravated sexual and indecent assault of two 12-year-old girls. The 83-year-old cult leader is facing 22 sex charges and claims that the accusations are part of a witch-hunt by disaffected former members who are trying to destroy him.

Unlike the recently mentioned Kamm, Dyers was granted conditional bail. I suspect this is because he is less an obvious nutjob, but more likely, because he schmoozes with the right people.

October 26, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Dance Dance Jesus

Tired of getting your exercise by hopping along to incomprehensible J-Pop? Well Digital Praise has the answer!

Digital Praise takes the [Dance Dance Revolution] concept to Christian families with Dance Praise, which combines contemporary Christian dance music like Audio Adrenaline, DJ Maj, Steven Curtis Chapman, ZOEGirl and others — more than 50 songs, all together — with four gaming modes.

It's available for both Macs and PCs. Be warned, though—Digital Praise's web site is such a Flash abomination, that I suspect that it's all a Satanic plot or something.

Christian-themed DDR-style game releasedMacworld News, 26th October 2005.

October 25, 2005

Space aliens are fag hags

United States/United Kingdom: Singer Robbie Williams believes that San Francisco is under the special protection of extraterrestrials.

The pop heartthrob has revealed he used to have a recurring dream that the US city, which has a history of devastating earthquakes, was being destroyed and he had to save it, according to entertainment portal femalfirst.

Robbie has now confessed the premonitions have stopped and he has been told that extra-terrestrials prevented the potentially fatal disaster.

He told Britain's Times 2 magazine: Latest news about San Fran is aliens fixed it. That's seriously what I heard - they fixed the fault.

Robbie Williams' alien savioursNew Kerala, 25th October 2005.

October 24, 2005

Seeing Things in Sand Dunes

Peru: We often report on religious simulcra of the type designed to part the gullible from their money. This time around it appears that the face on Mars is taking a holiday in Peru.

Well it's gotta be Jesus, right? I mean that dude's forever popping up in toast/paint/fungus etc, so why should sand dunes be any different?

Face of Jesus Found In Sand Dune - Associated Press, 5th July 2005 (via Boingboing).

October 23, 2005

Cult Leader Up on Fresh Charges of Kiddie Fiddling

Australia: Kamm looks to be sinking deeper into the muck. Fresh out of court on charges of shagging a gullible teenager, he was dragged back into court for getting his end away with an eleven-year-old.

Kamm, of course, denies the whole thing, claiming the kid in question has a history of crying wolf over cult members assaulting her, but with his recent court history, it's looking like the Little Pebble may well have been sharing a penchant for paedophilia around with other members of his cult.

Kamm recently appeared in Parramatta Local Court where he was charged with five counts of sexual assault and six of aggravated indecent assault.

The court was told he is alleged to have abused a girl when she was aged between 11 and 15 at his religious community near Nowra on the south coast.

'Little pebble' charged with sex abuse - ABC News Online, 21st October 2005.

Anti-Alien Device Found in Home

United States: Moving is a stressful business. Finding that the previous tenants of your new home left something behind can make it even more stressful. Usually that little something extra comes in the form of hidden red wine strains on the carpets and an oven with an inch thick layer or grease and scudge. For new tenants in Iowa, the abandoned item was a device designed to scare off aliens living underground.

October 22, 2005

Journalist too lazy to use brain shocker!

United States: You know how it is—if the main suspect in a crime has any interest in the occult, then the crime is automatically a ritual. It's definite if the accused has an interest in Satanism, especially if said accused is a teenager. And so it is in the case of the murder of Pamela Vitalae in California. The National Ledger is presumably a publication in the same genre as the National Enquirer and Red Wolf's favourite, the Weekly World News. Their coverage differs only in the lack of any detail about the crime.

Instead, they have chosen the environmentally friendly approach, recycling material from the fundie dossiers on the occult that were circulated in the late 80s. And they've even disinterred one of the hacks who fanned the flames back then. Maury Terry is best known for his book The Ultimate Evil, which had to be changed as part of an out-of-court settlement after the OTO sued. And what does this fantasist have to say?

The world of the Satanic cultist is filled with ritualistic violence, perverse sexual activity and abuse, Heavy Metal music and the use of illegal drugs such as marijuana, amphetamines (crank, speed, meth, crystal), psylocybin (an hallucinogenic drug similar to LSD), heroin and other others. This is a world which, even in the beginning of the 21st Century, continues to attract a large number of young people who follow the precepts of Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible, a volume that has millions of copies in print today.

That would be the Satanic Bible that has a real downer on 'satanists' who restrict others' freedom to act as they will by, for example, murdering or assaulting them? But we can't expect our 'expert' to have read the book, can we? It might turn him into a murderous thug or something. After much waffling, he calls on loony fundie Pat Pulling (well known to players of RPGs thanks to her campaign against them) to recite the familar cousin to the Blood Libel:

During the course of these so-called religious rituals, drug use is usually rampant and heightens the frenzy and blood-lust of the cultists. According to Pat Pulling, a criminologist Who lectures police departments on the occult and Satanism, rituals may include:

*Victim is placed in a coffin or make-shift coffin.
*Paraphernalia and symbols such are pentagrams, 666 symbols, inverted crosses, etc.
* Heavy feeding of drugs, especially hallucinogens.
*Kidnapping victims.
*Sexual abuse aimed at confusing a recruit and destroying his/her moral foundation.
*Incestuous sex acts (family is involved in the cult).
*Animal or (rarely) human sacrifice.
*Cannibalism.
*Cremation (destruction of victim along with evidence).

There is considerable ritual abuse during Satanic ceremonies. Indoctrination of the young is the purpose of much of this abuse. Ritual abuse is defined as repeated physical, emotional, mental and spiritual assaults combined with a systematic use of symbols, ceremonies and images designed to turn a person against himself and society. Drugs, again, are utilized during this process of systematic degradation.

Lies which were proven to be malicious fantasy around 15 years ago.

Pamela Vitale Murder: Satanic or Ritualistic Crime and Murder?-—National Ledger, 22nd October 2005 (not 1988!).

Students vote to oust Bible

Scotland: Students at Edinburgh University have voted to remove Bibles from halls of residence because the practice is discriminatory.

The bible ban has been described as disappointing by churchmen. But student leaders insist it is an important step towards making sure people of all religions feel welcome on campus. There are more than 2000 bibles at the university's Pollock Halls campus, on the edge of Holyrood Park - one in each room. They are expected to be removed after a vote by the Edinburgh University Students Association (EUSA).

University officials have yet to approve the ban. However, similar calls from students in the past - including one to have prayers removed from graduation ceremonies two years ago - have been agreed without protest.

EUSA president Ruth Cameron explained:

The student association firmly believes in the importance of ensuring that all students from all faiths feel at home in their university accommodation. We simply don't want to be seen promoting one religion over another.

Students at Stirling University supported a similar move last April.

Bible to be banned from student hallsThe Scotsman, 22nd October 2005.

Coming to Britain soon

Egypt: Three people have died after Muslim extremists protested outside a church. Their complaint? That the church had put on a play criticising religious extremism and that this was insulting to Islam.

Entitled I Once Was Blind But Now I See, the drama tells the story of a poor young Copt who is drawn to Islamist militants who then try to kill him.

Coptic Christian leaders have said the play depicts the dangers of extremism, not of Islam.

Copts would never tolerate anyone insulting Islam, Coptic Bishop Armia is quoted by Egypt's official Mena news agency as saying.

Three killed in Egypt church riotBBC News, 22nd October 2005.

Prediction Dead Wrong

India: Predictions that don't are common fare for The Prattle, but usually it's the bigger doom and gloom variant that catch our attention, so it's time for a change of pace.

75-year-old Kunjilal Malviya, an astrologer who lives south of the Madhya Pradesh state capital Bhopal in central India, had been meditating in his house after announcing he would die Thursday between 3.00pm and 5.00pm local time. Sure it's not earth shattering, but at least there's a chance he could rectify the situation with a little self-intervention if his prediction wasn't up to par. The local cops, fearing just such an action, posted officers nearby on suicide watch.

October 15, 2005

Cult Leader Sentenced to Five Years

Australia: Feòrag's nutjob radar is swifter than the local news services. She passed this gem onto me for local commentary.

This isn't the first time self-professed religious leader William Little Pebble Kamm has made an appearance in the Prattle, he was last mentioned for his schemes to scam Government grants. This time around it looks like someone noticed his personal cult, the Order of St Charbel, is nothing more than a front to get Kamm laid and the silly sod has been sentenced to a minimum of three-and-a-half years in jail for sexually abusing one of his teenage followers.

October 14, 2005

Spam du Jour: GOD BLESS YOU

Nigeria: Today's missive comes from a tranny by the name of Mrs. Stella Castillo Taborda, or 'Ahmed', according to 'her' e-mail adderess.

Hello My Dear,

Please forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise I got your contact from a database found in internet while searching for a reliable and honest person that will assist us receive a fund into an account. I was divinely inspired to pick your name among other names found in the Internet database. After series of prayers and fasting for Gods direction. I am Mrs. Stella Castillo Taborda a citizen of Colombia undergoing currently medical treatment. I am married to Dr. Castillo Taborda who worked with the Malaysia Embassy in South Africa for nine years before he died in the year 2000. We have an only child presently residing in the Netherlands, he can confirm my story. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $18.3 Million (Eighteen Million Three Hundred Thousand U.S.Dollars) with a finance/security company in EUROPE. The money is inside one trunk box, but nobody knew that the box contained money apart from me and my late husband, the box was deposited as Photographic Materials. Presently, this money is still with the Security Company. This is purely for confidential and security reasons recently, my Doctor told me that I would not live for the next three months due to my cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my disability to move around which is partial paralysis. Having known my condition I decided to donate part of this fund to a church or a mosque or better still a Christian or a Moslem individual that will utilize this money for charity works. I want a church or Mosque or the individual beneficiary that will inherit this to use it for churches or Mosque orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is beautified. My child would have handled this but he is not to be trusted and would not use it for the purpose I want it used but he will be entitled to 30% of this money after claiming it. They said blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death because I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of my Savior. If you feel you are worthy enough to make yourself available in this project, let me know immediately you read my mail. GOD will surely provide for you the power and strength to accomplish this. All things work together for good for those who love GOD. Waiting for your urgent response. I do not need any telephone conversation in this regard because of my health, and because of the presence of my husband?s relatives who are always around me. I do not want them to know about this development. On your response I will send all relevant documents pertaining to this deposit to enable you travel and make this claim.You can reach me on this other Email:stellacasto@netscape.net.

Thank you and God bless. Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Stella Castillo Taborda

October 8, 2005

Spucking fammers

Comments are off for the forseeable future. The house geeks are hard at work. If you really need to say something, you can always comment on the LiveJournal feed of this site.

October 7, 2005

Prat of the Year, second nominee: Duncan Maclean

Scotland: An independent councillor, Duncan Maclean, put forward a motion to West Lothian council which would have banned same sex civil unions from taking place in registry offices. Fortunately, no other councillor was willing to second the motion, so it got precisely nowhere. Maclean is unhappy.

He said fellow West Lothian councillors should hang their heads in shame after giving the green light to gay marriage ceremonies.

Cllr Maclean said today: It's political correctness gone mad. As the Bible teaches, 'wrong-doers will not inherit the kingdom of God', and this includes lesbians and gays. If these people want to enter into a formal commitment, why don't they go to a lawyer and get them to sign a formal legal document? Why do these queers have to parade about in public?

He insists that his words could not possibly be offensive: I don't think I am offending any of my constituents as I know for a fact that none of my voters are gay.

Of course, there is only one way he can know this for sure...

Anger at 'parading queers' jibe in row over gay marriageEdinburgh Evening News, 5th October 2005.

October 5, 2005

Prat of the Year, first nominee: Guy Bowling

United States: Ricky Shepard is your typical sixteen year old, engaging in the sort of petty rebellion common to that age group. His preferred method of yanking the crank of his elders is to be Wiccan, something that causes much distress to his school's headmaster:

Shepard confronted Principal Guy Bowling after he confiscated two seventh-graders' pentacles, the Wiccan equivalent to a Protestant's cross or a Jew's star of David...

...Shepard didn't persuade his principal to let the students wear the symbol. Instead, Bowling told Shepard to take off his pentacle chain before going to class.

By his own admission, the principal knows very little about Wicca, but having been advised by Shepard and his parents, it seems that they know very little about it too.

Bowling said he knew little about Wicca, and had mistaken the necklace's symbol for a pentagram, an upside-down version that symbolizes Satanism.

Which is, of course, complete and utter bollocks, the pentagram being the proper name for the symbol (a pentacle is something that goes on an altar), and the upside-down version being the symbol of the second degree is most Wiccan traditions. Despite his claim to have been Wiccan for many years, Shepard appears not to have progressed far enough to be aware of this.

But all is not yet hunky dory - the school is still prohibiting a Wiccan club, and seems willing to ignore the law to do so.

The Equal Rights Act requires secondary schools to permit clubs of all religions, including groups that deal with atheism, Satanism or Wicca. School districts can opt out of the act by not allowing any non-curriculum clubs. Priceville does have clubs, including Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

We are not going to have a Wiccan club. I don't think we need any more clubs at this time, Bowling, a Southern Baptist, said.

The Teenaged WitchThe Decateur Daily, 4th October 2005. (Update: Page has gone now, but there is a mirror at archive.org.

Bampot tag: .

October 2, 2005

Sex and politics

Canada: A new political party aims to bring sex into politcs with its platform of sex-positive policies. And they clearly see religion as part of the problem:

[Sex Party Leader John] Ince said politicians at all levels of government are terrified to touch any issue that involves sex because there's a strong, organized religious and moral conservative lobby. The result, he claims, is a Criminal Code filled with archaic laws that criminalize normal, healthy behaviour.

So, how do they plan to redress the balance?

The party would campaign on a platform of overhauling current sex laws, including a repeal of the Criminal Code's prohibition on immoral, indecent performance, entertainment or representation.

Candidates would also press for a national policy on comprehensive sex education in Canadian schools, more liberal laws on recreational nudity in public areas and less censorship.

The party also wants to change Victoria Day to Eros Day and would proclaim Valentine's Day as an official holiday.

A plea for sex role in politicsToronto Sun, 2nd October 2005.

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