January 2006 Archives

January 29, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Yet another rock

The Virgin Mary seems to have a bit of a fetish about stones, and today's bargain is the third such item we have featured. This time, the auction is for The VIRGIN MARY Stone!!, as the vendor seems unaware that the object is not unique.

[Mary, in a stone]A silvery blue stone bares the image of the Virgin Mary

This natural wander miraculously bares the image of the Virgin Mary and her beautiful shrowd. The stone is a silvery blue and white (A true eye catcher). See picture.

A finish has been applied to protect the natural beauty of this wonderful stone. The stone measures approximately 9" tall by 7" wide 3"thick and weighs 12 pounds. Silver colored stand included.

Thank you for looking.

Note the use of that interesting dialect known as Christian English. Previous similar bargains included a lump of rock and a pebble.

January 25, 2006

Low-grade entertainment

It seems someone with a sense of humour vandalised the Wikipedia entry on Wicca. Not recommended for Fluffy Bunny Pagans (thanks Tez).

January 24, 2006

Spam du Jour: GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF ALLAH

Nigeria: Today's attempt at extracting money from the religiously-impaired is unusual, with Muslims being the intended victims. Why the scammer should think that My Arab Gentleman is an appropriate form of address to someone with a Gaelic name is left as an exercise for the student of scamology.

Assallamu allaikum

My name is Fernandez Ramon i am a business man from south america living in Netherlands, untill recently i was the business partner of an arab merchant from Kuwait, recently my partner died in Mecca during the hadj

Before my partner died, we recently did a business deal together in Kuwaite and the profit and turnover of the business yeailded $17.000.000.00 ( seventeen Million United States Dollars) this money was transfered to a joint account that we openned together in a Bank here in Netherlands but due to the Hadj pilgrimage that was approaching my partner pleaded that we leave this money untill after the end of the hadj and this i agreed to.

When my partner deid at the Hadj, i was left with no choice but to look for the alternative of withdrawing the money and closing the account but the bank informed me that i have to provide a next of kin to stand as a beneficiary on behalf of my partner before i can clear this account.

What i want now is an arab gentleman with good records who can stand as a beneficiary on behalf of my late partner

Now i want to make it clear why i choose you, my partner's family are already in dispute over his properties that he left behind, and i know that if i disclose to them about this money they will also cause more problem for his family as his brothers are seizing all his belongings from his wife, my partner did not reveal to his family the nature of our business so no one knows about this money

If you are willing to co-operate with me i will share with you 60/40 when this funds is released, so let me know your opinion, and send me your Name, Age , Nationality, email address and telephone number, so that i can give you complete information on the proceedings

Please if you are not from am arab Nation do not bother to respond, the next of kin has to be Arabian.

Regards

Fernandez Ramon

January 20, 2006

Spam du Jour: The dubious and their relatives

Nigeria: What a day for scam messages! I've attracted the attention of the relatives of many notable people it seems, as well as the usual religious stuff. First in the spam trap was a message entitled Can you help me donate to Charity? purporting to be from Haji Abdul Rahman. Strangely, he seems to be suffering the identical problem to Harry Hakeem the other day. The notes are not identical, but his Eosophageal cancer has also defiled all forms of medical treatment. Then Mrs. Thelma Akhi found her way into the spam trap, with a religious plea, and strange interpretation of the Bible that Mrs.Angelina Ebony Lamin contacted me about last May.

But these people are nobodies, and their religious scams are mentioned only to give me an excuse to feature the others. First up, the scion of an extremely dubious character indeed:

I AM CHUCKY TAYLOR THE ELDEST SON OF FORMAL PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA MR CHARLES TAYLOR.MY FATHER WAS FORCED TO RESIGN AS THE PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA ON THE 11TH OF AUGUST 2003,WHO IS NOW IN EXILE.IT MIGHT BE A SURPRISE TO YOU HOW I GOT YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS,WELL I GOT IT FROM INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

Then, marked FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION was a missive allegedly from Mrs. Suha Arafat, which starts:

I am MRS. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of late YASSER ARAFAT,the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture.

As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.You view this website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3965541.stm.You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government.

In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the Muslem community has no regards for woman, more importantly when the woman is from a Christian background, hence my desire for a foreign assistance.

But then I heard a chortle from Charlie's study. He forwarded what he'd received:

Pussy lover criticises pooves

England: Renowned artists Gilbert and George's new exhibition has upset one or two philistines, even though it hasn't opened yet. The exhibition uses imagery from a range of religious traditions, both formal and popular.

Even before going on display today at London's White Cube gallery, the 21 new artworks - collectively titled Sonofagod Pictures: Was Jesus Heterosexual? - have aroused the fury of the Tory MP Ann Widdecombe, who has called them blasphemous in the extreme, as [Gilbert and George] will find out when finally they stand before the Son of God

In contrast, some religious people are more appreciative:

But the Bishop of Stepney, according to George, has been very polite and very nice, and requested a studio visit.

The artists told The Guardian that the work was inoffensive compared to Christianity itself:

Gilbert: Christians are abusive to humans - to women, to queers. They threaten us with hell. George: That's offensive, not us.
Artists arouse MP's furyThe Guardian, 20th January 2005.

January 13, 2006

Spam du jour: PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE THIS FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD

Nigeria: Today's religious spam is interesting in that it asks me to support a dodgy Christian cult who now operate under another name. The bizarre language is fascinating too (It has defiled all forms of medical treatment), and it includes a classic trick found in many examples of this kind of scam—repeating the amount of money involved in block capitals.

From: Harry Hakeem <harry79hakeemqirr@netscape.net>

Dear Friend.

Good day and God bless you. I feel quite safe and satisfy dealing with you in this charity project.Though, this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it because it still remains the fastest, surest and most secured medium of communication. However, this correspondence is purely private, and it should be treated as such.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday. My name is MR.HARRY HAKEEM, a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer . It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone(not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.

I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends.

I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS $12,000,000,that I have with a finance/Security Company abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations.

I have set aside 25% for you and for your time if you want to help me to collect this Funds and also invest this money.

N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN HOLLAND IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS NAME AMEN.

Name: BARRISTER.RICHARD GORDON
Tel number: 0031630655043
Email: richardgordon79@netscape.net

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mr.Harry Hakeem

Ritual abuse: London pastor arrested

England: A Londonpastor has been arrested and is being questioned about allegations that he incited child cruelty. Dr Dieudonne Tukala of the Church of Christ Mission in Tottenham is alleged to have accused several children of witchcraft and recommended violent solutions to their parents.

Dr Dieudonne Tukala, 46, from the Church of Christ Mission, is being questioned over claims that he diagnosed several children as witches, advising their parents to beat the devil out of them or send them back to the Democratic Republic of Congo so that he could pray for them to be killed.

Such superstitious beliefs are common within some African Christian churches, and the Daily Telegraph, based on BBC reports, gives several cases which have resulted in convictions or suicide. Not even a fœtus is safe:

The same report also interviewed the former wife of a Congolese man, Nzuzi Mayingi, 26, found hanged in Crystal Palace Park, having committed suicide 18 months after he arrived in Britain as an asylum seeker.

She alleged to the BBC that when she was pregnant with the couple's second son, Dr Tukala had accused her, their son, and their unborn son of all being possessed, known as kendoki. Her husband, who had deeply-held beliefs in witchcraft, beat her then threw her out of their home, she said.

If someone is thought to be kendoki in our country in the Congo, they can kill you. You would die with your children, said the woman, who is now living in the north of England, having reportedly received threats.

A police respresentative was keen to point out that There was no suggestion, ... that the issues related solely to Congolese, or that the issues related generally to the Congolese community. Indeed. The newspaper does not mention a case, also in London, from last year when three people were convicted of cruelty to an Angolan girl. In that case, she was cut with a knife, beaten with a belt and shoe and had chilli peppers rubbed in her eyes to beat the devil out of her

Pastor is arrested after inquiry into claims of cruelty to 'child witches'Daily Telegraph, 13th January 2006. See also Three convicted of 'witch' girl abusePagan Prattle, 3rd June 2005.

January 11, 2006

Sound business sense.

Israel: Pat Robertson's plan to build a Biblical theme park has ground to a halt because the Israeli government refuses to do business with him. His recent comments that Ariel Sharon's stroke was a punishment from God just might be connected to the decision.

Avi Hartuv, a spokesman for Israel's tourism minister, said officials were furious about the remarks.

We will not do business with him - only with other evangelicals who don't back these comments, he said. We will do business with other evangelical leaders, friends of Israel, but not with him.

Robertson had hoped to attract a million visitors per year (and their money) to his Christian Heritage Centre in Galilee, close to several important Christian sites. There is no news as to whether Robertson has since declared Israel to be a dark land dominated by homosexuals.

Israeli biblical theme park plans in doubtThe Guardian, 11th January 2006.

January 8, 2006

Tsumani caused by Jews Israel

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List has just been updated with the addition of a link to a fascinating posting in alt.rush-limbaugh. The posting centres around a CNSNews story, America, Israel, India Caused Tsunami, Conspiracy Theory Says, in which we learn all about the Egyptian version of the Weekly World News:

The Egyptian nationalist weekly Al-Usbu' accused the U.S., Israel and India of carrying out nuclear testing that may have cased the tsunami. Those nations were testing how to liquidate humanity, the newspaper said.

Was [the earthquake] caused by American, Israeli, and Indian nuclear testing on 'the day of horror?' Why did the 'Ring of Fire' explode? Mahmoud Bakri asked in his investigative piece published in the weekly on January 1.

The writer of the CNS piece was sceptical of the allegations. The poster to alt.rush-limbaugh seemed less so, what with him titling his post 1st. Anniversary Of Jewish Tsunami Devistation!. He even managed to tie it in with current affairs, and conspiracy theories concerning earlier events:

The only reason why Israel hasn't unleashed their evil weapon again is because Ariel Sharon has been hospitalized and unable to give the final order! More proof that Israel was behind the Dec. 26 2004 genocide which took 200,000 lives. In fact, the same experts who've testified that Israel used remote control Boeing 757's and a controlled demolition to cause the horror of 9/11, have concluded that no one but Israel has the technology to cause such a devastating wave. Why haven't these criminals been brought to justice?

Gay sting minister resigns

United States: A pastor arrested earlier this week after he allegedly solicited sex from a plainclothes police officer has resigned from his church, the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma and the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention. Rev. Lonnie Latham only cited "personal reasons" in his resignation letter to the BGCO, and made no mention of recent events.

Meanwhile, P.Z. Myers received a fascinating comment from someone claiming to be a member of Latham's former church.

Pastor Accused Of Lewdness Resigns From ConventionChannelOklahoma.com, 6th January 2006; Tulsa Pastor Resigns From Church After ArrestKOTV, 6th January 2006. See also Pastor offers unique ministryPagan Prattle, 5th January 2006.

Bragain of the Day: bit of fruit

Today's very special offer is allegedly an Apple Guardian Angel Is It A Miracle, A Sign From God?

[a bit of apple that looks like an angel if you squint]Yesterday I was eating a red delicious apple thinking that all is right in my world when I saw that a small piece of the peeling had dropped from the apple. When I picked it up, I noticed that the shape was a remarkable likeness to what I have always imagined a guardian angel to look like. I could not bring myself to put it in the trash thinking that there must be a reason that it appeared to me like this. Some sort of sign? I am wondering about the significance of the apple (considering what happened with Eve in the garden). I don't know as much about religion and miracles as most people know. But, I do know that right now my life is going pretty well. I am very fortunate to not have any real complaints and do not feel in need of a miracle or divine intervention. So I am thinking that maybe I am simply being used as a messenger and that there may be someone out there who might want this apple angel for their own. It is a small angel as you can see in the picture as compared to a penny. I am willing to pass it on if someone out there wants it. I taped it to a piece of paper using scotch tape. I have not done anything else to preserve it.

January 6, 2006

Annual End-of-the-world post 2006

A little late, but seeing as none of last year's end-of-the-world predictions came true, it's time to see how we will meet our doom this year. 2006 promises to be an exciting year, with nuclear war, the start of the Tribulation, comets and asteroids hitting the earth, and some very bizarre astronomical phenomena.

January 5, 2006

Spam du Jour: FAITH OF DONATION

Nigeria: It's been a while, but today my spamtrap contained a wonderful religious scamming message.

From: Evang Mrs ..Monica Rogers....
SUBJECT: FAITH OF DONATION
Beloved In Christ,

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR GOD.
Calvary greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am Evangelist ..Monica Rogers..........., a widow to Late....Chief Paul Rogers....... I am 61 years old; I am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast. From all indications, my condition is really deteriorating and is quite obvious that I may not live more than six months, because the cancer stage has gotten to a very severe stage.

My late husband was killed during the Gulf war, and during the period of our marriage we had a son who was also killed in a cold blood during the Gulf war. My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. My personal physician told me that I may not live for more than six months and I am so scared about this. So, I now decided to divide part of this wealth, by contributing to the development of evangelism in Africa, America, Europe and Asian Countries.

I selected you after visiting the website for this purpose and prayed over it, I am willing to donate the sum of $6.000,000.00 Million US Dollars to the motherless baby homes, needy, poor, charity homes and widows too. Please note that, this fund is lying with the Central Bank of Nigeria therefore my lawyer will file an immediate application for the transfer of the money in the name of your ministry. Please, do not reply me if you have the intention of using this fund for personal use other than enhancement of evangelism.

Lastly, I want you to be praying for me as regards my entire life and my health because I have come to find out since my spiritual birth lately that wealth acquisition without Jesus Christ in one's life is vanity upon vanity. If you have to die says the Lord, keep fit and I will give you the crown of life. May the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you. I await your urgent reply.

Yours in Christ

Evangelist ...Monica Rogers.........

The phrase calvary greetings is an odd one, which I've only ever encountered in an earlier scam message.

Predictable response

United States/Israel: In a move which has totally stunned the residents of Prattle Towers, Pat Robertson has declared that a man has suffered a stroke as a punishment from God. The man in question is in his late 70s, is grossly overweight and has an extrememly stressful job, but none of this is relevant according to the televangelist:

The Reverend Pat Robertson says Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's massive stroke could be God's punishment for giving up Israeli territory.

The founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network told viewers of The 700 Club that Sharon was dividing God's land, even though the Bible says doing so invites God's enmity.

Robertson added, I would say woe to any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course.

He went on to observe that a previous Israeli leader, Yitzhak Rabin, had been assasinated and implied that his imaginary friend was the murderer in that case.

Robertson: Sharon's Stroke May Be PunishmentWLTX News, 5th January 2006. (Thanks, Rick).

Pastor offers unique ministry

United States: An openly homophobic pastor has been arrested and charged with offering to engage in an act of lewdness after he allegedly propositioned a male plain clothes police officer in a motel car park. The police officer was investigating complaints about male protitution when Lonnie Latham, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex.

The allegation is unfortunate for Latham, given what he claims to believe:

He has also spoken out against same-sex marriage and in support of a Southern Baptist Convention directive urging its 42,000 churches to befriend gays and lesbians and try to convince them that they can become heterosexual if they accept Jesus Christ as their savior and reject their 'sinful, destructive lifestyle.

According to other news sources, Latham claims he was 'pastoring' to the police at the time.

Anti-Gay Pastor Busted For Trying To Pick Up Male Prostitute Decoy365Gay.com News, 4th January 2006; Police: Pastor propositioned officerCNN, 5th January 2005.

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