February 2006 Archives

February 25, 2006

Blaming the hoi polloi

Malawi: It's an old trick used by bigots—excusing your bias as being that of ordinary people, so it's rather surprising when it's used to block a choice made by the ordinary people.

Rev. Nicholas Henderson is an English vicar, with liberal views on matters such as gay rights. He is popular among locals because of development work he has done in the past. Parishoners in the Diocese of Lake Malawi chose him to be their new bishop, a move which has been stopped by Archbishop Bernard Malango, head of the diocese of Central Africa.

The Anglican Province of Central Africa's Confirmation Court, which comprises Malawi, Botswana, Zambia and Zimbabwe, said Mr Henderson was deemed not of sound faith because of his liberal views on gay rights...

Anglican leaders in Africa have condemned their counterparts in Europe and north America for accepting gay rights, a conservatism believed to be widely shared by ordinary Africans.

Members of that hotbed of radicalism, the Mothers' Union, are among Henderson's supporters.

However, Gladys Nkanthama, a church elder and secretary of the Mothers' Union in one of the parishes in the Diocese of Lake Malawi, told the Associated Press: We chose him, we voted for him; we are ready for Henderson to be our bishop.

African rebels hail English vicarThe Guardian, 25th February 2005.

February 24, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Astrological melodies

[Harvey Sid Fisher sings about Aries]Harvey Sid Fisher describes himself as an actor and screenwriter, but he has yet another talent - he has penned a set of twelve songs, one for each sign of the Zodiac, and you can buy them from his web site, either on a CD or a video. Or you could if his site was working properly--the links to buy the product don't work, and I cannot even tell you how much this wonderful item will be. How can you possibly live without hearing him sing his compositions, accompanied by a Kate Bush wannabe dancer gyrating in the background? How could be be so cruel as to make us miss such lyrical beauty as:

BUSY AS A BEE ON THE MOVE ALL THE TIME
CAN'T SIT BY THE FIRE I NEED MOUNTAINS TO CLIMB
I SET THE PACE AND I MUST WIN THE RACE
OUT IN FRONT OF THE REST CAUSE I AM THE BEST
SHOULD I LOSE THERE'S NO SHAME
I'LL FIND SOMEONE TO BLAME

Not to worry, someone has posted the video for Aries to YouTube.

February 18, 2006

Do everything you want as long as it helps yourself

A new Hollywood cult is exposed by RevolutionSF:

Biccans in Hollywood, and even the rest of society, are misunderstood. Many call them bitches, but, Biccans say, that term is misused.

A bitch is someone in old movies, who makes people do what she wants, and is evil and horrible to look at, said Doherty, like Barbra Streisand.

Bicca is an universe-based religion, in which the entire universe orbits around the Biccan. Biccans know and honor a female god, known to them as myself. Biccans believe in a creed that states, Do everything you want as long as it helps yourself.

Biccans do not believe that Bicca is the only valid belief system. It is just the only one they care about. Since Bicca is a universe-based religion, the need for perfect imbalance must be pointed out. Any Biccan who does anything to help another person, even another Biccan, must be ridiculed by small groups of gathering Biccans, known as those Biccans sitting over there.

Bitches Prefer "Biccans"RevolutionSF, not dated. (thanks, AJ)

February 17, 2006

More blasphemous cartoons - yay!

Randy McDonald has drawn my attention to another brave cartoonist, who, in the interests of freedom of speech, has sketched deliberately blasphemous cartoons. Patrick Ian Banks fears he might be driven into hiding by the fanatical followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

February 15, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Mind Control Brain Washing Made Easy for Dummies

United States: Just when we thought we'd either broken QuePirate or he'd had a run-in with authorities, we discover that he just doesn't love us any more. He does, however, still have quite the thing for eBay.

This time he does appear to be offering a real item, usually it's something that only QuePirate can see.

Racist MP Hates Women and Muslims

Australia: Australian Federal Liberal MP Danna Vale has decided to drum up some publicity for herself over the current kerfuffle concerning the more intelligent members of parliament attempting to remove the decisions concerning the abortion drug RU486 from the loony fundie Tony Abbott and placing it under the wing of the Therapeutic Goods Administration, the department that assesses and monitors all other drugs for use in Australia.

Danna Vale has decided that Australian women are too stupid to make decisions about their own fertility for themselves and is backing a move to keep the drug under the control of a man with his own tentative grip on reality. But dear Danna has even managed to get her fellow wingnut MPs off-side by mentioning her other concern over the drug.

February 13, 2006

Jumping on the bandwagon

Well, it had to happen. In the interests of free speech, I feel it is very important that I reproduce some horrendous, blasphemous cartoons. Not having any cartoonists to hand, I drew them myself, and you will have to be satisfied with my own rough sketches (the pubs are open, after all). I thoroughly expect worshippers of the deity I have depicted in such terrible circumstances to riot, or something. Anyway, I hereby present the Pagan Prattle carnival of blasphemy!

Don't tell them their neighbours shower in the nude!

Scotland: I'm beginning to get really worried about drinking the tap water round here, even when it's filtered. You see, there seems to be something in it which turns you into an irrational loon, although evidence so far seems to suggest it only affects Christians.

First, one of the nearest churches to Prattle Towers (Northern Hemisphere): Loons Trying to Close Tourist Attraction. Then, an even nearer one, Greenside Parish Church, did something which I was going to put in the Prattle and never got round to. I think it was connected with Jerry Springer: The Opera.

Today's it's the turn of St. Paul's, Pilrig. Situated on a busy junction, with really illogical traffic lights, you would think that the parents in the congregation would have some very real worries about their children's safety. But heavy traffic, doesn't seem to be that important, nor is the pawn shop over the road. What worries them is that the Church has a nice, tall steeple, perfect for disguising a mobile phone mast, and a phone company has offered them money to use it for that very purpose.

Joette Thomas, 38, of Parents Against Masts, said: I don't want my three and eight-year-old girls exposed to potentially harmful radiation so that people can get porn on their mobile phones. That a church is facilitating this is outrageous. They should drop this plan now.

Should we let them know about that enormous nuclear reactor, extensively used as a source of power, that's located only 93 million miles away?

Church accused of profiting from phone pornographyEdinburgh Evening News, 13th February 2006 (thanks, Roy).

February 11, 2006

Stuff Simian Secularism!

Cartoonist Matt Bors proides us with some choice extracts from The New Christian Science Textbook. (via Pharyngula).

February 10, 2006

Make your bets, folks.

Egypt: Pagan Prattle Sweep time! How long will it be before Islamist loons start burning Egyptian flags and embassies, and demanding a boycott of Egyptian produce? You see, Egyptian blogger Sandmonkey felt the cartoons of Mohammed looked very familiar, and has found something very, very interesting.

...they were actually printed in the Egyptian Newspaper Al Fagr back in October 2005. I repeat, October 2005, during Ramadan, for all the egyptian muslim population to see, and not a single squeak of outrage was present. Al Fagr isn't a small newspaper either: it has respectable circulation in Egypt, since it's helmed by known Journalist Adel Hamoudah.

And to prove it, he's scanned the relevant pages.

I've already placed my bet on 'never'.

Boycott EgyptRantings of a Sandmonkey, 8th February 2006.

Stonefridge

Google Sightseeing is an interesting site looking at unusual things found in Google Local and Google Earth. Today, we get to see Stonefridge, a replica Stonehenge made from refrigerators.

February 9, 2006

A very naughty boy

You've seen the Hamster Dance, the Hilter Dance and the Jesus Dance. You will not be surprised to hear, then, of the existence of the Mohammed Dance, based on certain cartoons.

Mustafa Brain

United Kingdom: Loony Muslim fundies have found something new to complain about: an Ann Summers blow-up doll called Mustafa Shag. Apparently al-Mustafa is one of the names of their prophet.

But the Muslim Association — based at Manchester’ s Central Mosque and Islamic Cultural Centre — branded him obnoxious.

Yesterday a spokesman said: This is the name of our Prophet and it’ s very upsetting. This thing should be banned.

In a letter to the store, the Association said: You have no idea how much hurt, anguish and disgust this obnoxious phrase has caused to Muslims. We are asking you to have our Most Revered Prophet’ s name ‘Mustafa’ and the afflicted word ‘shag’ removed.

The Sun does not speculate on how they could possibly have known about the doll. An Ann Summers representative said they would gladly change the name if some punster could come up with an alternative.

Muslim fury at sex toyThe Sun, 9th February 2006.

February 5, 2006

Where's ET?

You know, you might be wandering down the street, and you can't be sure, but you think there might be aliens in the area. Well, you can now clarify the matter with help from India Daily's simple experiment to find out if an extraterrestrial UFO is in your vicinity .

If you really want to know if an extraterrestrial UFO is really near you, look at the animals and yourself. It is now scientifically proven that super high intensity of electromagnetic flux makes all living beings depressed. Our living soul is electromagnetic energy and it cannot tolerate an influence of an external very high intensity of electromagnetic flux that is uncontrolled by our soul. So all living beings become depressed and the thinking process gets difficult in the presence of extraterrestrial UFOs. When you find all animals are lethargic and you also feel the same, the possibilities are very high that one or more UFOs are near by.

A simple experiment to find out if an extraterrestrial UFO is in your vicinity India Daily, 5th February 2006.

Mohammed through the ages

[An Islamic depiction of Mohammed]The Mohammed Image Archive at Zombietime, is a response to the Islamist loons who have reacted violently to a Danish newspaper publishing cartoons (several of which take the piss out of the paper itself) depicting Mohammed. They claim it's blasphemous, which is why the first block of images are of depictions of Mohammed in the Islamic world. The site also reprints the cartoons, along with other satirical Western cartoons depicting Mohammed which caused absolutely no fuss whatosever.

In addition, Val reminded me of Jesus and Mo, a web comic which should annoy the Christian fundies too.

February 4, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Christian sex aids

Whollylove isn't your normal sex shop selling cheesy lingerie, love beads and vibrators. No, it's a Christian sex shop selling cheesy lingerie, love beads and vibrators, aka Products and Advice celebrating God's fantastic gift of sex within Christian marriage.

Sex is a great gift from God — we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse! All our products and images on this site are selected on two criteria: sex in marriage is based on wholly love (so we have not selected hurtful products), and the Biblical portrait of marital sex as a reflection of God's holy love for us (so we have avoided inappropriate images wherever possible).

(Thanks, tjc).

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