May 2007 Archives

May 31, 2007

From the fluffy bed into the fire.

United States: A Roman Catholic priest has received a four year sentence after being convicted of sexually assaulting a teenage boy. The sentence is on top of a 14 year one he has already received for sexually assaulting two other boys. The priest, named only as "Evans" in the Rocky Mountain News told the court:

I am a believer in the power of touch. I believe it is very scriptural. Jesus often touched people he was not supposed to touch.

The boy had been sent to the priest for counselling after his parents found books on witchcraft in his bag.

Priest gets four more years for abuseRocky Mountain News, 31st May 2007.

Priest: it's me or the vibrator!

United States: A Catholic priest gave his church's organist and choir director a surprising ultimatum; quit her sex toy home party job or quit the church. He claimed that her sale of sex toys was not consistent with Church teachings.

Linette Servais, 50, played the organ and sung with the choir for 35 years. Much of her work as choir director and organist was done without pay. When her parish priest asked to meet with her, she thought it was to say thank you.

Instead, she was told to quit her sales job with company known as Pure Romance or she would lose her position in the church.

Pure Romance in Loveland, Ohio, is a $60 million per year business that sells spa products and sex toys at homes parties attended by women. It has 15,000 consultants like Servais.

Women are earning a living for themselves and are teaching each other that sex is not a dirty secret. So, obviously it's not in keeping with church teachings, especially since the buggering of small boys was in no way involved. Fortunately, Linette is made of sterner stuff.

She said her decision was not hard: She began working with Pure Romance after a brain tumor and treatment left her sexually dysfunctional. The job allows her to help other women who have similar problems.

After I got over the initial shock, I prayed over this a long time, she said. I feel that Pure Romance is my ministry.

Linette is not the only woman of faith who has made sex toy sales her ministry, more power to them. Alas, it has been mentioned, that the company in question stocks poor quality merchandise. Hopefully, their market will learn from experience. I'm still uncertain of the particular part of the bible that mentions; Thou Shall Not Sell Sex Toys.

Priest Cans Organist for Sex Toy Sales -, 30th May 2007 (via Sexuality).

Newsvine feeds

If you look to the sidebar, you might have noticed that Newsvine feeds for both Red Wolf and myself have appeared recently. Several of the stories you will spot are the same as those that appear in the Prattle, but you will also see the ones which were interesting to us, but which were not substantial enough to write up.

Mrs. Deya jailed

Kenya: The wife of "miracle babies" preacher Gilbert Deya has been jailed for two years for child theft. DNA tests showed that the babies, which the Deyas claimed were born through divine intervention, were completely unrelated to the women who claimed to be their mothers. The judge said that no amount of punishment could undo the damage done to the child, adding that the claim of a miraculous birth deserves no mercy.

'Miracle babies' women jailed for two years for stealing a babyCapital FM (Nairobi), 30th May 2007.

May 30, 2007

Time warp

England: A man has been arrested on suspicion of assaulting a number of Rocky Horror Show fans on their way to a performance in Cambridge.

Kelvin Stevens lashed out after hurling homophobic abuse at a group of men and women who were dressed in fishnet tights, suspenders and high heels for the cult cross-dressing show.

The burly electrician called the group 'a load of fags' before head-butting and punching Barry Giles, who was at a distinct disadvantage as he was tottering on stiletto heels.

But despite the nature of the abuse, the police will not be treating it as a homophobic hate crime as the victims weren't actually gay. I'm sure straight, but different, schoolboys will be really pleased to hear that one.

Thug starts real Rocky Horror ShowMetro, 29th May 2007.

LiveJournal say fans are pædophiles

LiveJournal: because reading fan fiction makes you a pedoThe People's Republic of LiveJournal: Internet Jihadists have declared war on LiveJournal, ostensibly for the sake of the chiiiiiiiiildren. The bampots at Warriors for Innocence (read the comments before clicking this link) claim to be dedicated to hunting pedophiles where they fester but in reality, they hate fandom and fan fiction. At least the effect of their actions has been to shut down a number of fannish communities devoted to writing about romantic trysts between fictional characters. Most badly affected has been Harry Potter fandom, even though Harry Potter has been over the age of consent in the country in which the stories are based since book 5. A list of banned fannish communities shows a number of Harry Potter related ones.

They also hate literature. One of the banned communities was a Spanish language one discussing the work of Vladimir Nabokov. Nor do they like discussion of sex and censorship, as the banning of porn_debate demonstrates.

And, as you might expect, our crusaders demonstrate a remarkable lack of intelligence. One of the banned communities was called lol_porn, but obviously they didn't look at it before complaining as it was for lolcat style postings using porno as a basis.

Other subcultures are worried. Fans of yaoi are concerned that they will be targetted, not just because of the existence of shōta (where the characters are underage), but because the somewhat effeminate characters can appear younger than they are in the story. The moderators of yaoi_daily and yaoi_daily_cafe have felt the need to set up a status page and make back-up plans.

So far, the Jihad has not noticed Gothic Lolita, which they are bound to misinterpret as soon as they do. The number of actual child abusers affected by the purge appears to be zero. Their victims, on the other hand, have grounds to be worried:

This is not a fandom-only issue. LJ's heavy-handed response threatens support groups and researchers. By telling users (after that fact and in contradiction to their own FAQ) that you can receive a permanent suspension, proactively, for having an "illegal" interest, pretty much everyone's at risk.

A Jihad Against Innocence LJ community devoted to protesting and fighting back against the extremists.

(written with a lot of help from Red Wolf)

Update (from Red Wolf): Naruto fandom is scared and the Jihad denies attacking innocent sites. They're all guilty. We're never wrong. And this list of naughty words suggests that Gothic Lolita has, indeed been noticed, and the comments suggest support communities are worried. The last comment references a 12th century Georgian poet—Shota Rustavelli.

May 29, 2007

Judge: Harry Potter to stay in school libraries

United States: An Atlanta judge has upheld the decision of local school officials and refused to ban Harry Potter books from school libraries in Gwinnett County.

Gwinnett County Superior Court Judge Ronnie Batchelor issued the ruling after hearing arguments from attorneys for the school system and from local mother Laura Mallory, who wants the books removed...

Mallory has tried to ban the books from Gwinnett County school library shelves since August 2005. She says she has never read any book in the series but says they are an attempt to indoctrinate children in witchcraft.

Mother Loses Harry Potter, 29th May 2007.

Ugandan discussions on the occult

Uganda: We've all heard loads of loony fundie nonsense about the occult, and their lies fall on stony ground in North America and Europe these days. What's a bampot to do? Why, tell the same bollocks somewhere where they haven't heard it before, or at least not heard the debunking. The Sunday Monitor fell for it this week, printing an article liberally quoting from self-styled ex-Satanists

According to Roger Mugisha whose former life as a Satanist is the inspiration for Battle of the Souls, the fact that one is not aware that what they are wearing as an accessory or the picture on their clothes is an Occult symbol doesn't let the wearer off the hook. The signs will still be significant and the wearer becomes an advocate of the devil. With this statement, Roger Mugisha is shown a recent picture of the Nabagereka, Nagginda Sylvia Luswata at the Kabaka's birthday celebration.

Looking impeccable as usual, the queen of Buganda is wearing a blue dress, which bears a Ying-Yang symbol on the chest area. To a layman's eye and most likely herself, the Ying-Yang sign is only another artistic impression that makes the dress a lot more glamorous. But to one who knows about the occult signs, a Satanist or a former devil worshipper in this case, wearing this dress is no different from proclaiming your discipleship with the devil.

And of course, an anonymous youth pastor had to wade in in Harry Potter, even though he does not know the name of the books' author, nor that of the protagonist.

This youth pastor who declines to be named adds that books like the Harry Porter series, which openly uphold witchcraft and are packaged to sound seductive and fun for our children are also another route of spreading Satanism.

In the process, J.K. Rowlings (the author of the Harry Porter series) has become a billionaire by spreading the gospel of the underworld and also contaminated and probably converted a large number of our future leaders and law makers, he says.

The same pastor is also worried about rock music and goths.

Most young people start by innocently taking to rock music (especially). Before you know it they are emulating rock stars and taking to the gothic lifestyle; wearing only pitch black and scarlet red for clothes, accessories and make up. The numerous body piercing and tattoos come next.

Exactly how many goths are there in Uganda anyway?

The Occult: The signs are still out there...Sunday Monitor, 27th may 2007.

Politicians' witchdoctor arrested

Kenya: Politicians were among those protesting the arrest of a witchdoctor in Coast Province. Mr Rashid Salim apparantly offered advice and protection to several of them, and they now fear losing their seats. Salim has been charged with possessing dangerous items, but the news reports don't mention any guns, knives, poisons or anything like that—just a load of useless tat.

Among the items recovered from the witchdoctor's home were horns, bottles of coloured water, herbs, gourds, bracelets and chains.

One of his politician customers defended him:

A Kanu parliamentary aspirant denounced the arrest of the harmless old man.

He confirmed he had sought his release, saying Salim has helped many people overcome work, health and love related problems...

In every house of a Digo, you will not miss paraphernalia used for protection. Salim has never harmed anybody, he said.

Witchdoctor defendedThe Standard, 29th May 2007.

Poland also behind the times.

Poland: It seems that Jerry Falwell is not dead after all—he just moved to Europe and had a sex-change.

A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether the popular BBC TV show Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle.

The spokesperson for children's rights in Poland, Ewa Sowinska, singled out Tinky Winky, the purple character with a triangular aerial on his head.

I noticed he was carrying a woman's handbag, she told a magazine. At first, I didn't realise he was a boy.

According to the BBC, most Poles are joking about her comments. One radio station even had a phone-in to determine the most suspicious children's characters.

Poland targets 'gay' TeletubbiesBBC News, 28th May 2007.

May 24, 2007

Greenpeace: Climate change a myth

Turkey: Greenpeace are sending out a strong message that climate change is a myth, just like the Biblical flood. Of course, they don't see it that way, but what other conclusion can you draw from their building a Noah's Ark on Mount Ararat? That flood was just a story, after all.

Noah's Ark rebuilt to show climate change threatReuters, 23rd May 2007 (via Pharyngula).

May 22, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Christian crotchless panties

Many fetishists are perfectly at ease with their inclinations. Not for them the guilty secret life. They go to clubs, play with like-minded people and are generally happy with themselves. Others are less well adjusted, but rather than hide in a closet, they find bizarre excuses to try and justify their kink. For one group of perverts, their excuse is that their imaginary friend told them to do it and, as you might expect, there are online shops which provide for them, just like there are for the sane fetishist. This morning, Red Wolf messaged me about the knickers for sale at the Christian Domestic Discipline Store. For example:

Delicate Lady Crotchless Pantaloons
These split-crotch pantaloons trimmed in eyelet and your choice of ribbon color will make you feel sexy and cherished all at once.

They'd probably send your husband running to the nearest brothel, but I can see that the products might have some use. Historic costumers might like to note that the styles are pretty close to those worn in the corset era, and they are available with authentic drawstring. Regular corset wearers already know what these knickers are for really, but unfortunately, they only come in Demure White, Delicate Pink, Baby Blue, and similar crap colours. No Bondage Black, alas.

May 21, 2007

Babies are evil

United States: The wife of a Christian man who microwaved their baby daughter says that he is not to blame. Instead, it was the work of their imaginary enemy, Satan.

Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter May 10 because the devil disapproved of Joshua's efforts to become a preacher.

Satan saw my husband as a threat, Eva Mauldin told Houston television station KHOU-TV.

He microwaved the child for between 10 and 20 seconds. She was seriously injured and remains in hospital. The mother wants her daughter back but, for once, social workers are being sensible and have said they will allow no such thing.

Woman: Blame devil for infant in microwaveCNN 21st May 2007 (via Pharyngula).

Politicians Lend Support to Cult

Australia: Danny Nalliah is the nasty little man behind Catch the Fire Ministries, a cult with a history of attacking the opposition. They've managed to wangle free PR out of politicians once again.

Prime Minister John Howard and Labor leader Kevin Rudd have sent goodwill messages to an event organised by a controversial Christian group accused of vilifying Muslims.

Howard is dumb enough to forget the outcry his last encounter with Nalliah caused, but I would have expected Rudd to have more sense. You think they'd both know by now that shit sticks.

PM, Rudd lend support to controversial Christian groupABC News Online, 21st May 2007.

May 20, 2007

Brethren Caught Corrupting Local Council

Australia: There was a recent proclamation from the Brethren via their official PR wonk that they would no longer be dabbling in politics. As with all Brethren claims, that one appears to be a big steaming pile of manure too. Feòrag has pointed me in the direction of a tale about the wingnuts corrupting a local council to get their agenda sorted.

Bringing yourself to the police's attention

India: A pair of occult practitioners are the main suspects in the disappearance of a pair of rare owls from a zoo and, for once the police might be being reasonable in their suspicions.

A zoo official said two local occult practitioners recently offered to purchase the birds for 30,000 rupees ($A890) each, but the park refused.

It fits in with the local magical traditions too:

Owls are usually captured for black magic rituals and sorcery by a number of Jharkhand tribes. Brown fish owls are also believed to bring good luck if kept at home.

The dried flesh, beak, claws, feathers and blood are used as ingredients in black magic spells.

Black magic suspected in bird, 20th May 2007.

May 19, 2007

Phelps clan to help relieve famine in Africa

United States: A month ago, I mentioned an amusing parody of the Westboro Baptist Church, a version of We are the World redone as God Hates the World. Well, it turns out it really was Westboro Baptist Church, and the record company who released the original song has taken a break from harassing grannies with no computer and three-year-old children and had their lawyers send Phelps a letter.

Now, the Phelps are lawyers themselves, so you'd think they'd know better, but is seems that copyright law is not their speciality, going by their response.

The Phelps Clan responded with a letter, in which they claim their version of We Are The World is a parody, and, therefore "fair use."

And, in an earlier version of the story from the same source:

But an attorney for Westboro Baptist Church says the parody, God Hates the World, is protected under First Amendment guarantees of freedom of speech and religious expression.

This second point may be true, but it's not actually relevant. Usefully for us, 49News went and had a chat with Andrew Torrance, a law professor who specialises in intellectual property, and it seems the law is pretty clear:

He says if this case goes to court, the ruling will be determined by whether the Phelp's [sic] song is judged as a parody or a satire.

A parody is a song that pokes fun at the original version, but a satire takes an original body of work to send out a completely different message than the original version.

He suggested the only way the Phelps can win the case is if they claim it is specifically about Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie, who wrote the original charity song.

One matter that the story fails to address is, if the song is a protected parody, who is it parodying? Could the Westboro Baptist Church really realise that their policies and practices are so laughable that they need to take the piss out of themselves.

Phelps under fire for making music49News, 18th May 2007; Phelps under fire for changing lyrics to popular song49News, 18th May 2007.

May 16, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Falwell tat

He's been dead for less than a day, and already eBay is flooded with Jerry Falwell related memorabilia. Much of it is just stuff like signed books, but some of it is interesting. Carat Queen was impressively quick off the mark in producing this Jerry Falwell Memorial tribute magnet

The wags were quick to respond to his demise too. For example, you can buy One Pound of Lard. Own a Portion of Jerry Falwell ! (Not his ubiquitous lard, but rather lard JUST LIKE HIS!):

Up for auction is one pound of lard - exactly like the lard which composed Jerry Falwell. Place this tub of lard high on a shelf or on your mantle, should you need a tub of lard to look-up to. Place this lard on the back of a donkey or pig should you need a tub of lard to mindlessly follow.

The perfect keepsake with which to remember him.

Or how about a nice painting in his memory? Perhaps JERRY FALWELL IN HELL - acrylic painting! with Satan! fits the bill?

This is your chance to own what is probably the first contemporary art painting of religious-right extremist JERRY FALWELL to be done following his death earlier today (May 15th). This is also a very rare chance to purchase Jeffrey Scott Holland (me)'s primitive neo-expressionist artwork at such a low price on eBay, thanks to the good people at Superfrothco.

The painting isn't pictured here because I'm working on it right now, even as we speak.

It's acrylic on bristol and measures 8.5x11. It will portray Rev. Falwell arriving in Hell, surrounded by flames, and coming face to face with Satan, who's laughing hysterically, not unlike the way he often does in a Jack Chick comic.

Calls to ban obscene book

Hong Kong: The official body responsible for censoring the media, including books, has stated that it has recieved 208 complaints about the Bible, demanding it be classified as an obscene book.

I can confirm that the complaints were received, said a Tela spokesperson. The thrust of the complaints was that the Bible was obscene, that different parts of the Bible were offensive to readers.

Tela refused to divulge details of the complaints, but local media reported that they referred to acts of violence, rape and cannibalism reputedly contained in the Old and New Testaments.

The website alleged to be behind the complaints has, alas, ceased to be.

Bible sparks obscenity row...IOL, 16th May 2007.

Phelps: John 3:16 a perversion of Christianity

United States: It seems that, at some point, Jerry Falwell managed to accidentally preach a message that bore some resemblance to the recorded teachings of Jesus Christ, and that has annoyed Fred Phelps.

WBC will preach at the memorial service of the corpulent false prophet Jerry Falwell, who spent his entire life prophesying lies and false doctrines like God loves everyone.

Naturally, he concludes that Falwell must be in a well known Norwegian town, and gives his reasons. Two of them are worth repeating, the first being a bit of tedious theological hair-splitting which means nothing to the sensible.

Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC's faithful Bible preaching -- thereby committing the unpardonable sin -- otherwise known as the sin against the Holy Ghost.

Hang on, I thought that sin was specifically denying the Holy Spirit (which does not exist, by the way), not having boring arguments?

Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, etc. All for lucre -- making him guilty of their sins.

Ah yes, pooves. We knew they'd be mentioned soon enough. Of course, because Falwell was not fond of pooves (though he did, towards the end of his life, make the outrageous suggestion that they be treated like human beings), it makes him a hard target for Phelp's obsession with hot man-on-man sex, so the rest of his announcement makes no mention of Falwell whatsoever, just pooves. The announcement is on the home page, and will no doubt change as soon as Phelps thinks about pooves again, so here's a screenshot of the entire page (PNG, 540Kb).

WBC will Preach at Jerry Falwell's Funeral!!God Hates America, 15th May 2007 (probably).

May 15, 2007

Dead fundies, and other news.

  • United States: Jerry Falwell is dead. As with Andrea Dworkin, I'll stick to my mother's advice about not saying anything if I have nothing nice to say. You may choose to do otherwise. US evangelist Jerry Falwell diesBBC News, 15th May 2007.
  • United States: Wiccan woman on the recieving end of Christian love. Diatribe possible hate crimeTimes-Union, 15th May 2007.
  • England: A Roman Catholic priest is on trial, accused of paying to have an 11-year-old girl groomed for sex. If he's found guilty, let's see how his church can blame this one on pooves. Priest 'paid for girl's grooming'BBC News, 15th May 2007.

May 13, 2007

Tenuous but interesting

United Kingdom: We've mentioned Ian Fleming's occult connections before, but an author has uncovered links between him and the prosecution of Spiritualist medium Helen Duncan in 1944. Duncan was convicted under the 1735 Witchcraft Act after the spirit of a deceased sailor allegedly appeared at a seance, much to the surprise of his mother who thought he was alive. According to the legend, the authorities were keeping the sinking of a particular ship secret, and considered Duncan a threat to security.

After examining all the documents, Hartley believes there is evidence to suggest that Duncan's conviction by an Old Bailey jury in March 1944 was unsafe. In a new book, Helen Duncan: The Mystery Show Trial, he suggests that among those responsible for the conspiracy to convict Duncan was Fleming, a key figure in the naval intelligence services, and John Maude, the prosecuting counsel at the trial. 'I am convinced naval intelligence were working with MI5, and when I began looking at that connection Ian Fleming's name kept cropping up as being involved with people either involved in the case or on the sidelines,' said Hartley.

From the description given by the Observer, the author seems to believe that the authorities were scared because the psychics had real powers, which casts doubt on his research. Hopefully it's fully cited. The article also brings up another little factoid of interest to the Prattle, blowing away one part of the Helen Duncan hagiography:

Despite popular belief, Helen Duncan was not the last person to be prosecuted in Britain for witchcraft. In September 1944, after the D-Day invasion, Jane York, 72, from Forest Gate, east London, was charged with seven counts of pretending to conjure up spirits of the dead. She was bound over for the sum of £5 to be of good behaviour for three years.

Though I feel obliged to point out that the infamous Witchcraft Act used in these cases did not ban witchcraft—in fact it stated that there was no such thing. The crime was to claim to have such powers, which did not exist and were therefore fraudulent.

007's creator 'was in plot to frame witch'The Observer, 13th May 2007.

May 1, 2007

Italy behind the times

Italy: Normally a fashion leader, Italy has waited 20 years to come up with its own version of a familiar Satanic panic. Six people associated with a kindergarten have been arrested in connection with allegations similar to those which swept America a couple of decades ago.

Some victims spoke of esoteric and satanic rituals, where adults forced them to drink human blood, exited from wounds that the same persons caused.

The pupils described the intimate parts of the body of the arrested persons and mentioned also piercing and tattoos, which a child at such a tender age wouldn't know, if he or she has not seen them before.

The little victims described the dreadful scenes saying: In the villa where they took us, a man cut his arm and coerced us to drink his own blood which he poured in a glass, with other substances. Then they made us do a series of strange games, sort of performances with masked adults and massages to female teachers with oil.

The Catholic Church has recently been whipping up hysteria about Satanism in Italy, promoting exorcism, and church representatives have been behind outrageous stories in the press.

Italy rocked by satanic, drug-induced sexual abuse in kindergartenMalta Star, 26th April 2007.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from May 2007 listed from newest to oldest.

April 2007 is the previous archive.

June 2007 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.


About this site
Contact the Prattle
Ego Corner

The Pagan Prattle
c/o P.O. Box 666
Edinburgh EH7 5YW



Creative Commons License
The original material in this weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.