July 2007 Archives

July 31, 2007

Religious vandalism in the Netherlands

The Netherlands: A Dutch channel is broadcasting David Attenborough's Life of Mammals, but something is odd about it, as Martin Wisse explains:

However, something strange has happened with that series when it crossed the Channel: for some reason the Dutch version only has nine episodes, while the original has ten --and that's not the only difference.

It turns out that the EO has deliberately removed all references to evolution from the series, as demonstrated by the three videos below. Which is not too surprising, considering the EO is after all a fundamentalist Christian broadcaster and adhers to the doctrine of the literal truth of the bible. What exactly the EO has censored in Attenborough's series is now documented in several youtube movies, uploaded by somebody called Odurodon:

As Martin observes, despite their obvious lunacy, the broadcaster receives public money, and suggests it would show greater integrity to have simply declined to broadcast the series. As they have exclusive rights, no other Dutch broadcaster may show the series, and the Dutch who want to see an unbutchered version will have to resort to their legendary language skills.

Dutch broadcaster censors David Attenborough on evolutionWisse Words, 30th July 2007.

July 29, 2007

Kiddie-Fiddling Australian Cult Leader Commits Suicide

Australia: Feòrag's trusty bampot filter brought me the news that professional charlatan, kiddie-fiddler and previous Prattle notable, Ken Dyers, topped himself on Wednesday rather than face court proceedings that he wouldn't be able to weasel out of.

Kenneth Dyers, 85, founder of spiritual organisation, Kenja Communications, was found dead at his Bundeena home on Wednesday.

Police went to the house in Crammond Avenue, Bundeena around 11am and found a man dead from a gunshot wound.

Police media would only say said it was not treating the death as suspicious and police were preparing a brief for the coroner.

July 28, 2007

Some telly programme

It seems that one of the new contestants on Big Brother is neopagan, and he must be serious. How do we know? Well, Kevin Carlyon couldn't miss an opportunity for self-publicity, could he? The self-appointed King claimed the contestant was a fraud:

High Priest of Loch Ness Kevin Carlyon told the Record: "This joker contacted me about a month ago, begging for a crash course in witchcraft to help him win a contest.

Yes, the Englishman, who lives on the south coast of England, is calling himself "High Priest of Loch Ness" these days! There again, even treating Carlyon's exposé as the bollocks it almost certainly is, the contestant seems to be a few bristles short of a broomstick.

BIG BROTHER new boy David Parnaby last night claimed he is a real-life wizard... just like Harry Potter.

The first Scottish contestant of this series works as a fashion store manager but claims to be a practising pagan who loves dressing up and putting nettles in his bedroom for spells.

Without photos it's impossible to tell, but Parnaby might be a bit of a goth -- he apparently turned up at the Big Brother house wearing a black kilt and heavy eye make-up.

NEW BIG BRO CONTESTANT IS JUST LIKE HARRY POTTERThe Daily Record, 28th July 2007.

July 25, 2007

Harry Potter and the apostolic succession

Some more bizarre Harry Potter material has shown up in alt.conspiracy, and it has to do with the apostolic succession the Pope was going on about the other day.

In Three Apostolic Successions (op. cit.), the sorcery powers of Jesus were discussed. These sorcery powers were passed along to Peter. Peter later had a sorcery showdown with Simon Magus. So, it is worth noting that Harry Potter also reportedly has such sorcery powers.

Locally, last evening, at midnight (and matching the magical 7/11 date), the new Harry Potter movie premiered here. Naturally, this premiere was given a front-page headline spread, in the Champaign- Urbana News-Gazette.

But seeming to forestall the Harry Potter elevation of 7/11, Pope Benedict XVI invoked some counter-sorcery of his own. Raining on the Potter Parade, Pope Benedict XVI released a document on July 10th proclaiming the Catholic Church to be the only true church. This means, in other words, Harry Potter is not the Pope. I, Benedict, am the Pope.

A few days later, the same author elaborates on the hypothesis by identifying Potter's nemesis:

Papa bin Edict has begun spiritual warfare with Lord Voldemort (Vladimir Putin). The contest was joined roughly coinciding with the numerological date of 7/11, 2007.

So-called "Dementors" have defected from the Vatican and secretly work for Putin. Does a secret society, the Order of the Phoenix, oppose Putin and lend support to Papa bin Edict? Or are they part of a "Fourth Way"? Not clear at this time is the role played by Sirius Black (Serious Black), Barack Obama.

The Harry Potter connection becomes more tenuous after this, but there are some interesting bits involving goths, monks and sodomy. Finally, there's some kind of conclusion:

Also numerologically significant is the date 7/7, 2007. At that time, the nasty house elf Kreacher, disguised as Al Gore, prestidigitated a glamour to dazzle the eyes. Kreacher belongs to the Dementors, hostile to bin Edict and in league with Putin. When the Mother Earth Glamour sorcery flopped, this marked the subsequent sorcery battle escalations.

Harry Potter, vying with others for the papal crown, is allied with the sacred feminine. A subterfuge to cloak so-called conspiracy theories under the guise of fiction heralds the premiere of some new, acceptable, conspiracy magazine, possibly to be called The Quibbler.

Harry Potter, the Fourth PopeConspiracy Nation, 11th July 2007; Sorceries Of Papa bin EdictConspiracy Nation, 14th July 2007.

Update: The articles have now been posted to the Conspiracy Nation site, and the links have been updated accordingly. See, we even link to enemies of Cthulhu!

July 24, 2007

Why I am no longer neopagan, part several million

England: A group of British Wiccans have pressurised the owners of Highcross Quarter to change the name of their shopping centre to something else because it sounds a bit like a neopagan holiday-- presumably one of the even-more-invented ones found in fundie dossiers on the occult.

It was our only wish all along, to be left in peace to develop our Web site and maintain the aspirations for faith and of our simple way of life, said the group's spokeswoman, who gave her name as Morrigan Wisecraft.

Of course, the easiest way to be left alone is not to be a media whore and whine publicly about perceived slights that actually have bugger all to do with your recently made-up religion (as opposed to religions that were made up some time ago), and everything to do with getting your name in the papers.

Witches happy over shopping centreMetro, 24th July 2007.

July 22, 2007

Bored now

There has been very little by way of interesting anti-Harry Potter rubbish to mark the publication of the last book in the series, but at last, I found some written by one Greg Farber. It seems that some early British socialists had the (very common) family name Potter, and this is grounds for a conspiracy.

Also the true Author of the wounded in the head, little Dark Prince Harry Potter was written by Richard Potter himself, The Lady J.K. Rowlings who claims to be the author is not at all, she was just given the job of editing and a nice title. Richard Potter a benifictionary of Sydney and Beatrice Webb who began the Fabian Socialist movement in England and they really intended to Socialize the World but began in a very small way. Potter was a very rich Rail road magnet who helped them with a lot of money. They sent Ramsey McDonald to the United States in 1895, touring the United States. He came back and said, The United States will never be Socialised until we can get rid of the State and Federal Constitution Ramsey McDonald became the future Prime Minister of England.

And who exactly was Richard Potter? The father of Beatrice Potter, who was born in 1858. That explains the turgid Victorian prose and the complete lack of any reference to anything modern in the books! Another paragraph from the article is interesting, too, and I think is meant as some kind of explanation:

The British Labor Party has been controlled by the JESUITS since its inception in the late 1800s. it has always advocated Home Rule for Ireland-as did British SIS Aleister Crowley!!Asquith, Lloyd George, and Labor-Loyalist Smokin Winston Churchill were all controlled by the Order via its Fabian Socialists, Like the American Republican Party, nothing good ever proceeded, or was allowed to proceed from British Labor–the true backers of the Soviet Russia's Bolshevicks and the Pope's Masonic Jewish Zionists ruling Israel's Labour party.

The author does not explain what the British Labor Party is - maybe some American organisation of ex-pat Labour Party supporters or something? Nor what it has to do with Harry Potter. The article ends with something which was debunked in Harry Potter and the Fundamentalist's Mind, published in the Prattle back in 2002.

J.K. Rowling uses imagery in her Harry Potter books contained in the Alchemy Book, “The Chemical Wedding of Christian Rosendreutz��? written in 1459. Using such a obsure book, known only to the occult initiated, is one strong indication Rowling does practice Witchcraft.

As I pointed out five years ago, it's a Rosicrucian text, not and alchemical one, and available online. These days, there's even an English translation. Other fundies insist that the text is the single most important one, though it's obvious that neither interpretation is the case.

And that's not all. The same individual has written another piece which is even less comprehensible. Harry Potter and Hollyweird only mentions Harry Potter in passing, but "exposes" the terrible symbolism of recent Disney films.

Under Michael Eisner, the Walt Disney Co. ( Which has seen Walt's surviving nephew, Roy E. Disney, part ways with Eisner in disgust) has become one of the mass initiators of children through visual processing loaded with brazen occult themes. As one example, the animated film Atlantis contains a surfiet of OTO symbolism. ( Ordo Templi Orientis ) The cartoon character Scooby Doo has also been transformed into an evangelist for Witchcraft. In Scooby Doo and the witches ghost, kids learn that Sarah Ravencroft, buried long ago in a Puritan village, was really a Wiccan and that Wiccans were people who were in tune with forces of nature and used them for healing purposes.

Scooby Doo was originally a Hanna Barbera creation and is now a Warner Brothers character—nothing to do with Disney. Apparently the Da Vinci Code has made Catholic nuns turn to Wiccan practices, too.

Harry Potter, Socialism and the truthSun Valley Idaho Online, 19th July 2207; Harry Potter and HollyweirdSun Valley Idaho Online, 20th July 2207.

July 17, 2007

Pagans threaten to flood England (more)

The Long Mohammed of Wilmington United Kingdom: Britian's neopagans are upset again. First of all it was Trinny and Susannah daring to change the sex of the Long Man of Wilmington, and now they're upset that a figure of Homer Simpson has been painted in biodegradable paint in the vicinity of another 400-year old cartoon, the Cerne Abbas Giant.

It's not King Kevin complaining, either, but the middle class ladies of the Pagan Federation. And, just like the Mohammed cartoon protesters, they're making threats and promising to get their imaginary friend to fix the problem.

Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind.

“We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away.

Well, that should solve the problem of heavy rains and flooding in England. It's enough to make you want to turn the Long Man of Wilmington into a depiction of the Prophet Mohammed.

Wish for rain to wash away HomerBBC News, 16th July 2007

Update: This image by HappyToast at B3ta is glorious:

Further update: The Grauniad is running a caption competition.

July 14, 2007

Pratt Update

England: A doctor who prescribed Christian exorcism for a Muslim patient has been found guilty of professional misconduct and banned from practising medicine for six months.

'Exorcist' doctor is bannedThe Sun, 12th July 2007. See also Pratt-fallPagan Prattle, 9th July 2007 and Alternative medicinePagan Prattle, 8th November 2006.

July 10, 2007

God disapproves of books about Him.

United States: A man selling religious books is in a coma after being hit by lightning from a clear sky.

Hailu Kidane Marian was working with members of his religious group, selling religious materials door-to-door in a Northwest Miami-Dade neighborhood, when the bolt from the blue struck him down.

I heard a boom, and I looked and the guy jumped back, and he just laid there, stiff, said witness Maria Martinez.

Religious Book Seller Struck By LightningCBS5, July 9th 2007.

July 9, 2007

Pratt-fall

England: Last November, we brought you the tale of Dr. Joyce Pratt, summonsed before a General Medical Council Fitness to Practice hearing to account for her unusual methods of treatment. Despite claiming to be a visionary, she also claimed to have not got the letters and was therefore unaware of the hearing. She did not turn up. For some reason, possibly this one, that hearing collapsed and a new one was scheduled.

The new hearing is now being held, and the press are reporting more details. It turns out that the patient for whom she prescribed a Christian exorcism is Muslim.

The story repeats the "visionary" claims and quotes extensively from the patient's statement. It seems Dr. Pratt told the patient that her recent trip to Asia had put her under the influence of evil spirits.

In her statement to the panel, Mrs K said the doctor had told her normal medicine would not help her pain and bleeding...

She then said that there was black magic inside. She continued: Dr Pratt said that the bleeding was because of something inside my stomach and that there is nothing that a doctor can do medically, but that she had the power to help.

”She said she didn't have the total power but there is a priest at Westminster Cathedral on Friday and Saturday nights after 9pm at night who would put their hands on my stomach and make it go away.


Mrs K said she had believed Dr Pratt could help her and drank the holy water because she seemed to know private things about her family which very few people knew.

The doctor wrote her mobile number on a piece of paper and some lines from the bible and gave it to her, Mrs K said.

Mrs K left the clinic bewildered and carrying the crosses and stones, the panel heard.

This time, Dr. Pratt has refused to turn up and also any representation. The panel is expected to retire to consider its verdict tomorrow.

Family planning doctor 'prescribed exorcism' for bewildered patientThe Daily Mail, 9th July 2007.

Wrestler blames "satanist" collegue over third wrestler's suicide

United States: At the end of last month, WWE wrestler Chris Benoit killed his wife and child before hanging himself. There have been sensible suggestions regarding his death, such as known effects of anabolic steroid use (a phenomenon know as "roid rage"), and one or two conspiracy theories, but fellow wrestler Johnny Angel goes further: he believes a third party was responsible for the deaths.

In series of videos on YouTube, he accuses another wrestler, Kevin Sullivan, of being a murderer. Part of his reasoning holds water - Sullivan used to be married to Benoit's wife Nancy, and the deaths happened 10 years after the date of their divorce. At the time, Sullivan had threatened to kill Benoit in front of other wrestlers. But then Angel gets interesting—this wasn't a simple revenge attack, but because Kevin Sullivan is a high-ranking member of the Satanic Church. This is, of course, according to the video, somehow relevant.

The police need to consider the possibility that these murders were carried out in order to have his revenge, which is what Satanists live for... Amongst many possibilities, this is a possibility.

The video then goes on to detail Angel's detailed and violent fantasies about what could have happened.

No doubt the forthcoming libel case will prove most interesting.

Is Kevin Sullivan The Real Benoit Killer?entertainmentwise, 9th July 2007;Was Chris Benoit Murdered by Kevin Sullivan? PART 1YouTube, 4th July 2007.

Paedophile Loses Appeal

Australia: While I was distracted by the tale of a superstitious Melbourne Catholic school refusing to enrol a child with the last name Hell, I missed the news that kiddie fiddler William Little Pebble Kamm has lost his appeal against charges of paedophilia.

Amusingly enough his attempts to overturn the case were based more on trying to hide the fact that he's an idiot with a collection of stupid minions, rather than the improper behaviour of a judge.

Kamm's grounds for appeal included the jury should have been dismissed because of a note it had sent to the judge during the trial.

The jury had notified the judge Kamm's sister-in-law was seen mouthing words from the public gallery, which were then repeated by a defence witness.

Justice Hodgson today ruled the judge had acted properly by asking the jury to draw no inference from what they suspected was the coaching of a witness.

Oops.

Kamm is also awaiting sentencing following a separate guilty verdict on sex charges related to a different underage girl. He does seem to have been the busy little paedophile.

Cult leader loses child sex conviction appeal—news.com.au, 9th July 2007, (via feorag.newsvine.com).
Catholic school gives in over Hell enrolment—ABC News Online, 9th July 2007, (via redwolf.newsvine.com).

July 6, 2007

The reasonably concise Glasgow car bomb conspiracy list.

Scotland: There have been one or two conspiracy theories developing around the efforts of incompetent terrorist wannabees in Glasgow last Saturday and London last week.

Iraqi cryptozoology

Iraq: Recent weeks have seen reports of strange animals around Basrah.

For over a month now, people in Basrah have been circulating rumors about a strange, bear-like deadly creature that attacks people at night with its strong claws. Locals in rural areas around Basrah claim it has killed three people and injured six others, and that it usually pounces on its victims as they are sleeping outdoors during hot summer nights, when electric power outages are common. Farmers at Garmat Ali, Abu Skheer, Jisr and Shikhatta were so alarmed, they assigned guarding duties at night to prevent its attacks, the Nahrain website and Radio Sawa reported last week...

The animal is known locally as the Garta or 'the muncher,' and mothers in Basrah used to tell scary stories about the Garta to their children so they would not wander out alone at night. Old families in Basrah believe the animal brings bad luck because it is mostly found in cemeteries at night. The unusual phenomenon, however, is their sudden appearance in large numbers near the city and their increasingly aggressive behavior.

Rumours are circulating that British troops have deliberately brought the creatures, or their eggs, into the city as a means of spreading chaos. Some of the animals have been killed, and are believed to be the indigenous Hog Badger.

Rumors of Strange Creatures Abound in BasrahIraqSlogger, 6th July 2007.

Cemetery damaged; goths blamed

Ireland: Vandals have caused serious damage to a cemetery in Mountmellick, and the local priest insists it can't be, well, vandalism:

It was not so much the amount of damage which was done but it was the nature of the destruction that is disturbing. Crosses were taken out of the ground and turned upside down, said Fr McNamara. There was something sinister about it.

The reversed cross, known as the St Peter’s Cross, is used as a symbol of Satanism.

Police are focusing their attention on the local goths (you know, the kids who probably like the graveyard) who have reported harassment since the incident.

Crosses turned upside down in 'sinister' attack on cemeteryLaois Nationalist, 6th July 2007.

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