August 1, 2009

God is incompetent

Scotland: A few days ago, a tornado hit Stornoway on the Isle of Lewis. Ten days or so before that, the first Sunday ferry sailed to Stornoway, and eight days (the Record got it wrong) after the first civil partnership took place on the island. It took less than 24 hours for a superstitious bampot to make a connection between these events and his imaginary friend.

The Reverend James Tallach, of the Free Presbyterian Church of Scotland, told the Record: I'm not in a position to say this was the will of God. I don't have that information here.

"But I am prepared to say that it's certain no good will come out of defying God's law.

"That is what a Civil Partnership does. What happened on Monday was in defiance of God.

"We have also seen a clear breach of the Fourth Commandment, which regards keeping the Sabbath holy. Sunday sailings were also against the law of God.

You can see why we keep these people on a small island a long way from civilisation. Anyway, we can draw one major conclusion from this: God has a really shit aim. He managed to miss the fuel depot for the ferries, for example. Furthermore, the Prattle has a contact on Lewis, a man who was on that first Sunday ferry and who wore a T-shirt designed to wind up the protesters. Obviously the sort of character God would want to smite, and indeed He got within about 20 metres. The exact quote was something like Well it hit number 34, but I live at number 32! Really, you can't get the deities these days.

Discussion in the pub also brought forth an interesting hypothesis: if we take the time between an event said to incur the wrath of God, and an incident which is said to be caused by the aforementioned wrath, then we can work out how far away God must be. Of course, this assumes a deity is bound by the speed of light.

Stornoway tornado was 'wrath of God', says ministerDaily Record, 30th July 2009.

5 comments

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Why is it that I am not the least bit surprised that it's the Wee Frees doing all the disapproving today?

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Isn't there a very traditional joke along the lines of: "Missed the bugger!" about this sort of thing?

It's like my saying that I'll believe in god when the ultra-low-flying police helicopter crashes on the wackaloon church round the corner from me, at 11.30 on Sunday morning......

@ 2> "traditional joke along the lines of: "Missed the bugger!"

I once saw a cartoon which showed Cupid just after firing an arrow. The caption was "Oh bugger, I've hit the pope!"

I don't think this is the joke you were thinking of but to me its a close second

I'm just reply to you to draw your attention to the 'reply' link on each comment, which adds a link to the comment to which you are replying to your comment.

Ah, yes. Next time I'll look a bit harder. Thanks for taking the time to point this out.

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This page contains a single entry by Feòrag published on August 1, 2009 5:38 PM.

Religious group is accepting, respects diversity and generally tries to make up for all the rest. was the previous entry in this blog.

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