Fundies discover RPG published many years ago

by Feòrag

In the month following that terrifying Hallowe'en night of the year two thousand and one, William Schnoebelen was seen continually carrying piles of books to his library from those hellish stores in the darker parts of town. He had a furtive, haunted look which disturbed his mentor, Jack Chick, but he allowed him to carry on his research into the evils of a strange type of recreation known as 'fantasy role-playing games'. Overcoming the dread induced by the musty smell of the ancient tomes, he explored their contents until he made a terrifying and blasphemous discovery:

For example, there is now a whole line of materials based on the hellish H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu mythos, a form of magic that we practiced in the darkest days of our satanic career - a system of magic prominently featured in THE SATANIC RITUALS by Anton LaVey! Contrary to the ramblings of D&D defenders like Michael Stackpole, the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu mythos are quite real.

Schnoebelen and Chick were mute and baffled. They had met the unknown and found they lacked the emotions to respond to it as they ought. They vowed to burn the books or destroy them in acid, but before they could carry out their plan, they saw something sqamous and rugose rise from the fish tank...