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April 6, 2004

A Christian Lady's Guide to the Disgusting Marital Obligation of Biannual Fellatio

by Red Wolf

United States: Send yourself wafting off serenely to sleep with First Lady Laura Pickles Bush's tips on fellating your Christian husband.

As Christians, we so often get caught up in talking about the sanctity of everyone else's marriages, that we clear forget to pay attention to our own! Republicans all agree that the best way to stop sex is simply to say, "shhhhh!" when young folks start to talk about their naughty places! And traditionally no one has more eagerly embraced the notion of abstinence than Christian housewives when it comes to giving those dreaded pickle-tickles that our men seem to go so crazy for! But as the Apostle Paul said, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet (some of you less proficient gals take this a bit too literally — yes, I'm talking to you Lynne) and submit!
A lot of folks ask me how I got my nickname Pickles. Well, I'm fixing to tell you. It was way back when I was a popular gal with the boys at Midland High. And let's just say I never had to worry about working a Love Waits t-shirt into my cowgirl wardrobe! But this got me thinking: why don't I draw on my vast experience on the prairies of Texas to teach you to be a firecracker in your own bedroom, barn or Cutlass backseat?

How to Tickle a Pickle! - Betty Bowers, (via HogBlog).

Posted in Intentional Humour at 02:37. Last modified on September 28 2006 at 23:42.
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