Jesus - Goth as Fuck

by Feòrag

Jesus Was Gother Than You and Shanmonster can prove it!

Christ was into body piercing. He only did it a few times, but what a statement he made with his piercings! He had a huge-guage piercing gun zap his hands, feet, and side. To top it all off, he did it all in front of an audience, making him one of the first performance artists...

...He spent time in tombs. Like I mentioned before, he hung out with Lazarus in one once, but there's much more to it. He once pretended to be dead for three days so that he could sleep in one. How goth can you get? I'll bet you never lived in a tomb. Only Christ, vampires, and Poppy Z. Brite characters get to do that.

Of course, certain barking mad fundies disagree, and like nothing more than sending the Shanmonster hate mail:

Holy shit! Not being saved is hard work! These industrious Christians certainly keep me busy, although I often wonder why they seek me out just to flame me. There's an awful lot of people who express their hate by telling me of Jesus' love. Kinda ironic, hmm? I've never sent an unsolicited flame in my life. Oh well. Who knows? There's probably a rationale for it hidden somewhere in the bowels of that great Holy Bible (the real Bible, mind you, and not the hordes of Satanic Bibles)....

And it seems they also write in that special language - Christian English:

By the way, after I realized just how little regard most people hold for proper grammar and spelling, I've left off using sic after each error. Please consider the following letters (in reverse chronological order) to be held under a blanket sic.

(via Carnival of the Godless, hosted this week at Pharyngula)