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March 21, 2005

Bargains of the Day: more simulacra.

by Feòrag

The pious imaginations are in overdrive today, with two holy apparitions appearing on eBay. First up THE AMAZING HOLY GOD MUSSEL:

[Shellfish with interesting natural decoration]I found this amazing item whilst strolling along the beach in Christchurch, England. I couldn't quite believe it at first, but the mussel actually says 'God' on it! The holy inscription was written by a tube worm (Pomatoceros trigueter), though this one was clearly trying to tell us something! These worms usually leave meaningless white deposits on mussels, as I'm sure we've all seen in restaurants/ on the beach.

I thought the mussel was too exciting to leave on the shore, so I picked it up and took it home. Almost instantly things started to happen which made me think the mussel is lucky, or holy or something! Things have been going so much better at Uni and at home (for example my boyfriend and my sister's boyfriend both asked us to marry them within a week!), that it can't just be coincidence. With the mussel still in my pocket on the way home I found a ten pound note on the pavement! I believe it has given me really good luck, and since I am training to be a Vet (five years of University training in England doesn't come cheap!), I think it's time to pass the luck of the mussel onto someone else, and let it bring me my final bit of help.

I hope it brings you as much luck as it has brought me. I will also send with the mussel a signed certificate from me to confirm where I found it, as I think the fact it was found in 'Christ Church' makes it even more significant!

I am even less convinced by this JESUS PROFILE FOUND IN A PIECE OF POPCORN :

[Jesus in popcorn, apparently]JESUS PROFILE FOUND IN A PIECE OF POPCORN. IT IS TRUE, SEE THE PHOTO! I WAS EATING POPCORN ONE DAY AND DISCOVERED THIS PIECE WITH A LIKENESS OF JESUS. AS SEEN IN THE PICTURE, HE IS LOOKING LEFT. YOU CAN SEE HIS CHIN, MOUTH, NOSE, EYE AND HAIR AND NECK. WHEN I WENT TO PHOTOGRAPH THIS POPCORN WITH MY DIGITAL CAMERA SOMETHING STRANGE HAPPENED. I COULD NO LONGER USE THE VIEW FEATURE AFTER THE FIRST PICTURE WAS TAKEN. WHEN I DOWN LOADED THE IMAGES ON MY COMPUTER THE CAMERA WORKED FINE AFTER THAT. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS A FLUKE OR THE CAUSE OF A HIGHER POWER. BECAUSE THIS IS FOOD I CAN NOT GUARANTEE IT'S CONDITION AFTER SHIPPING. BUT POPCORN IS PRETTY STABLE, AND EVEN WHEN STALE, CAN LAST A LONG TIME.

Posted in Religious Tat at 23:33. Last modified on September 28 2006 at 23:43.
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