Not the Bargain of the Day: Pope simulacrumb.

by Feòrag

I thought I'd found it - Pope on a cookie??! It's a miracle!!, then I looked at the picture.

So.... I was walking along a downtown path and tripped over this homeless guy. Out of his knapsack on a stick rolled out this AMAZING cookie with an image of the late pope on it. I was totally breath taken at this wonderful find! It was if the cookie was calling out to me. I just had to know how the old man came across such an amazing cookie. The old man started telling me the story of the cookie, but he was too intoxicated and I couldn't understand his babbling. He said if I allowed him to work for food, I could take the cookie home. I was planning on keeping it for myself, but it just looks too tasty and I'm afraid I will eat the pope. It has been tormenting me ever since and I just need someone to take this cookie off my hands.

The cookie does speak to me in my sleep. It constantly says, eat me, EAT ME but I just know it would be wrong. You just simply cannot eat such a miracle! I try to shut the voice of the cookie out of my mind, but it can also speak telepathically. I don't even see the cookies lips move! AMAZING!

The cookie appears to be of a chocolate chip variety. I don't know how delicious it is.....yet. If someone doesn't take this off my hands soon, its fate is to my belly.

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!