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May 27, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a shell, but not like yesterday's

by Feòrag

The Prattle is about 16½ years old now, and in that time it has come to my attention that there are one or two Christian extremists out there who are, well, a little bit violent. This bargain will disappoint them - there's no way it can be used for its original purpose. Today's offering is a DIVINE FIND - SHOTGUN SHELL TURNS INTO POPE'S HAT?!? which was MYSTERIOUSLY FOUND IN PRAIRIE WITH NO TRACES OF FIRE.... Which is good, because the rest of the description implies that there is a class of Darwin-bait that throws ammunition into bonfires:

[Squashed ammo]This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own the divine treasure emblazened in a fire, molding itself into the shape of the Pope's hat. How the shell did not burn up entirely is a mystery that will probably never be solved, but the shocking result is a sight to behold. The shell was found after the christening of the new Pope, but it is believed to have been molded into its present form sometime before or at the time of the former Pope's death. Could this shell have been burning into its undeniable shape as the Pope died? Draw your own conclusions as to the meaning of this strangely divine occurrence, but bid now or forever hold your peace. The only reason this one-of-a-kind miracle is being sold is the feeling that it truly belongs to another person, but who is the true owner?

Item is guaranteed 100% authentic. Seller acknowledges that no human was involved in the forming of the item into its present shape. It is believed that the item has been formed as a direct result of divine intervention.

Posted in Religious Tat at 20:26. Last modified on September 28 2006 at 23:43.
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1: Posted by: Red Wolf | May 28, 2005 4:12 AM

Is there some way to encourage them to gather close about the camp fire and toss more shells into the flames?

Wax lyrical

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