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Today's bargain is a set of pictures of an accidental spill made by a child under the influence of a strong, but legal, drug. Or rather, it's a JESUS COFFEE SPILL ANGEL HOLY SPIRIT - set of 4 photos. Unlike other vendors of similar simulacra, the seller here does not make any particularly ludicrous claims and seems to regard it all as a happy accident, rather than an actual work of their imaginary friend.
These are photos of a coffee spill that appears to be in the image of JESUS, an angel, or perhaps an apostle, with arms lifted toward heaven. Tongues of fire or maybe the Holy Spirit are drifting upward.
Every morning my 6 year old daughter just has to have her cup ofcoffee. So my wife mixes her about a half cup of milk, some Carnation french vanilla creamer, and a splash of coffee. Needless to say, my daughter is not always neat and is quite often spinning her chair around to see Spongebob. Today, about a half hour after she finished, my 10 year old son hurried us into the kitchen to show usJESUS. We were surprised he even noticed it, since the image actually formed upside down - my daughter was sitting at the breakfast bar, facing it. I took the photos from both in front of, and behind the counter. The second picture shows the view from the direction she was facing.
I am being 100 percent honest when I say that this is not a hoax, and that these photos have not been staged or doctored in any way. This is an actual coffee (albeit with lots of milk and creamer!) spill that occurred by happenstance, while my daughter was having her morning cup of java - we even had to wipe some off of her chair (you can see where it dripped over the edge of the counter). I am also being 100 percent honest when I say, that while we are devout Christians, we don't necessarily believe that such things occur by divine intervention or have any specific spiritual meaning, I know that some folks do. That's why I'm offering this set of 4 photos for sale. They will be printed on 4 inch by 6 inch, premium glossy photo paper. There will be one set of these and one set only. That's my solemn promise to the winning bidder.
Posted in
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and Religious Tat
at 14:08. Last modified on September 28 2006 at 23:43.
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Comments
1: Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge | August 23, 2005 4:05 PM
What drugs are these pin-heads on? I mean you have to stare that at a very long time to see anything like they are suggesting. This is coming from a freaking creative writer.
2: Posted by: Sojourner | August 23, 2005 6:45 PM
For their claims of just a splash of coffee with a whole lot of milk and creamer, those coffee stains look rather dark......gotta love charlatans. They try so hard.
3: Posted by: Red Wolf | August 23, 2005 11:27 PM
I like how they try to cover all bases with the image of JESUS, an angel, or perhaps an apostle. Just to be sure. How unhappy would you be if you bought a Jesus simulcra and it turned out to be an inferior apostle stain?
4: Posted by: BJ Winslow | August 23, 2005 11:32 PM
Seems like someone should set up a DIY sight for creating miracle stains and foods. The funnest thing I've seen is still a news spot where a catholic priest was taken to see the miraculous image of the virgin mary in a soiled mattress.
"That kind of looks like a figure," said the priest, "but it certainly doesn't fill me with awe."
5: Posted by: Terri | August 24, 2005 7:31 AM
The only thing miraculous I see here is that these parents get away hooking their 6 year old on coffee.
The kid seems to have many of an addict's characteristics already.
Maybe she'll be an easier target for the churches, then.
6: Posted by: Gert | August 30, 2005 12:29 PM
This reminds me of a story in The Sun bog paper (could have been the Daily Star) a few years back. A couple claimed their son had been turned into a fish-finger. Photos and all. It was clearly a fraudulent story because we weren't told whether their son was still frozen or had been deep fried in the mean time.
They also went on TV, the whole family.
But who's taking the piss here? They'll have gotten a few hundred quid for their little joke...
7: Posted by: Feòrag | August 30, 2005 2:23 PM
Here's a nice example of how your text gets mangled by your use of crap tools.
8: Posted by: Hotspur666 | September 1, 2005 1:15 AM
When was the last time an evangelist blew
up a bus load of children??? You Islamist
apologists are a disgusting bunch of Allah's vomit.
9: Posted by: Feòrag | September 1, 2005 11:44 AM
Hotspur666: What does that have to do with spilled coffee? Could it be that you are too stupid to comment on the right post?
10: Posted by: Red Wolf | September 5, 2005 7:53 AM
Hotspur666: I'm assuming you mean when has an evangelist strapped on a bomb and taken out himself and those in the nearby vicinity.
Suicide bombers are almost exclusively a tactic of the poor and small group of nutjobs. The wealthy religious loon favours being the right hand man of a country's leader and encouraging the use of said nation's armed forces to rid them of the infidels. Suicide bombs are beneath them and they don't take out nearly enough people. Why blow up yourself and only kill a busload of kiddies, when you can use one of those nice smart missiles and take out an entire school and much of the surrounding neighbourhood.
Looks like you should get your head out of your arse and pay attention to the news more often.
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