June 26, 2009

The Great Michael Jackson Conspiracy List

Well, that didn't take long. There are already two main conspiracy theories developing surrounding the demise of singer Michael Jackson: the first is that he was murdered in some symbolic way by the conspiracy; the second that he isn't dead at all. This list is really just a Wee Conspiracy List at the moment, but no doubt it will expand over time.

Continue reading "The Great Michael Jackson Conspiracy List"

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April 28, 2009

The Little Mermaid

Egypt: The tentacles of the Jewish Conspiracy are everywhere, you know, especially if you're a bigoted bampot. The latest evidence is, apparently, the Starbucks logo, which is not the mermaid we all think it is, at least according to Safwat Higazi:

The girl in the Starbucks logo is Queen Esther, he insisted. This queen is Queen of the Jews.

And the crown she wears?

This is the crown of the Kingdom of Persia. This girl you see is Esther, Queen of the Jews in Persia....

Can you believe that in Mecca, Medina, Cairo, Damascus, Kuwait and all over the Islamic world hangs the picture of beautiful Queen Esther with a crown on her head and we buy her products? exclaimed Higazi. It is inconceivable.
Continue reading "The Little Mermaid"

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Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 11:11 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

September 8, 2008

Somewhere over the rainbow

It all started when Failblog featured this amusing little conspiracy video:

Surely a joke? I prodded further, to try and find out more about it. ~ The Rainbow Conspiracy ~ CRAZY, NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE!!, and Conspiracy are definitely parody, as is this response, but then I spotted a term, and did a search for 'chembow'.

But none of these link the mysterious rainbows to the Gay Agenda. I'm most disappointed!

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August 5, 2008

Nobody expects...

Charlie has a login on the Prattle, but does he use it when he has a Prattleworthy story? Does he 'eck, so you'll have to read about the Knights Templar suing the Roman Catholic Church over on his blog.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 10:30 | View blog reactions

March 13, 2008

Bishop thinks hate is a Christian value

Scotland: A Roman Catholic bishop has decreed that lesbians and gay men are the opposition and form a huge and well-orchestrated conspiracy against Christian values. Joseph Devine, Bishop of Motherwell, gives examples, of course, but not necessarily what you'd expect:

He singled out the actor Sir Ian McKellen, who was given a New Year honour for services to gay rights, pointing out that Oscar Wilde was locked up only a century ago for homosexual acts...

He went on: In this New Year's honours list, I saw actor Ian McKellen being honoured for his work on behalf of homosexuals, when a century ago Oscar Wilde was locked up and put in jail. It's a very small group of people, but very active and organised — and extremely indulgent. The opposition know exactly what they're doing. We don't.

He also complains that pooves remember the time when a country led by a communicant member of the Roman Catholic Church decided to kill off minority groups.

The homosexual lobby has been extremely effective in aligning itself with minority groups.

“It is ever-present at the service each year for the Holocaust memorial, as if to create for themselves the image of a group of people under persecution.

Perhaps they get that impression because people like the bishop say hateful things like that? Or maybe, as an editorial in The Scotsman points out Between 1933 and 1945, 100,000 gay men were imprisoned by the Nazis' regime and 9,000 died in concentration camps. That is justification enough for gays to remember the Holocaust.

Catholic bishop hits out at 'gay conspiracy' to destroy ChristianityThe Scotsman, 13th March 2008; Bishop's unhelpful commentsThe Scotsman, 13th March 2008. See also Fury at bishop's gay 'persecution' claimThe Herald, 13th March 2008.

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November 8, 2007

Guess what?

It didn't take long for the first conspiracy theories concerning the Finnish school shootings to emerge. First up is Peter Farley with his The Finnish School Shootings and Implanted Programming, which starts by reminding us that nothing happens by chance:

The school shooting in Finland is not a random chaotic act as the New World Order would want us all to believe. These kids are programmed for such acts just like Manchurian Candidates and those in the old Charles Bronson movie, Telefon. We see only about 1% of what's actually taking place around us when all we do is look at the 3D world of day-to-day sight and sound -- the metaphoric tip of the iceberg, so to speak. The other 99% lies somewhere beneath the level of this 3rd dimensional seeing and hearing, and are the real causes and effects of everything we are living every second of the day.

He goes on to explain all about etheric implants cylindrical objects which he says are placed in people's chests and which, surprise surprise, he can remove for you. It all sounds terribly dramatic.

Many people have negative programming and devices installed in their etheric fields somewhere for purposes, conscious or unconscious, not in alignment with their own Higher Will. Over the past week one person who requested my help turned out to have just such etheric implants that would have made him what Guidance called 'a saboteur'. Before we could go anywhere with him two 'cylindrical devices' implanted in his chest 'etherically' needed to be removed. These were like the detonating mechanisms we see in movies about nuclear weapons being exploded. Both had combination locks on them that needed to be worked before these devices could be lifted free and thrown into the Light for disposal. Many times in such work it unbelievably comes down to a matter of cutting the red wire or the blue wire, and thank God for Guidance.

Naturally, he has an idea of who is behind all this. Or his patient does -- it's hard to tell:

My guess is the implants are from a reptilian/grey connection. As to a saboteur, I've done a lot of that in my lifetime, but it's always been against people I perceive to be corrupted powerful people and I'm working hard now to sabotage the "New W-orld O-rder". I have a real hard time imagining how I could be turned to sabotage anyone else, for instance like Ron Paul

Of course, Conspiracy Nation got in on the act, with an edition entitled Shooter: "The Revolution Begins Today". This version of events has more tofu to it, including good old numerology.

Besides being reportedly the 311th day of the year, yesterday, November 7th, has a European 7-11 significance. Over there, they write November 7th as 7 November 2007, i.e., 7/11.

But the gist of this conspiracy is that it has something to do with the financial markets, the rising price of oil and the bailing out of a British bank. No effort is made to expand on the numerology, alas.

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Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 11:19 | View blog reactions

October 15, 2007

Man who left fortune to Tories declared to be nuts

Scotland: The will of a man who left £8 million to the Conservative Party has been overturned by the courts on the grounds that he was not of sound mind when he made the will.

Branislav Bane Kostic ran a successful pharmaceuticals business in Switzerland and London, but became convinced that dark forces were out to get him.

He cut his son Zoran, who lives on Marchmont Road, out of his will and instead left his entire estate to the Conservative Party. At the time, he thought that former prime minister Margaret Thatcher would save the world from monsters, and believed she was the greatest leader of the free world in history.

So, clearly bonkers then. The BBC has further details of the extent of his delusion:

He was tormented by delusions that I and other members of my family were part of a worldwide conspiracy of terrorists and criminals who were trying to kill him.

“My father refused medical treatment, because he also feared that doctors would harm him. In the grip of his delusions, my father turned to the Conservative Party for help to fight the conspiracy that he imagined.
...

The court heard that Mr Kostic had made the will after saying Margaret Thatcher was the greatest leader of the free world in history and that she would save the world from the satanic monsters and freaks.

Rejected son wins back £8m from ToriesEdinburgh Evening News, 15th October 2007; Tories lose £8.3m bequest battleBBC News, 15th October 2007.

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Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies and Psychoceramics at 21:52 | View blog reactions

Suspended cleric blames Satanists

Vatican City: The case of Monsignor Tommaso Stenico, suspended from his high ranking post after he appeared to come out in a TV interview has taken a new and interesting twist.

Monsignor Tommaso Stenico, a capo ufficio, or section head, at the Vatican ministry responsible for the clergy, insisted yesterday he was not gay. He said he had posed as a homosexual to research a plot by satanists.

Sex, lies and videotape: turmoil at the VaticanThe Guardian, 15th October 2007.

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August 18, 2007

Steve Jackson is the Antichrist!

Is this meta-conspiracy? Cutting Edge Ministries have put together a number of pages insisting that a card game shows that the Spetember 11th attacks were an inside job and planned a long way in advance.

In nine pertinent playing cards of the "Illuminati New World Order" Game, how did the inventor know -- in 1995 -- the three events comprising the 9/11 attacks? How did he know also the correct plan in the near future? Why do his cards predict the appearance of Antichrist and the Rapture as the last two events of the Illuminati Plan?

Players in the darkly humourous game are competing conspiracies and the aim is to dominate. The game consists of hundreds of cards (637, I believe) drawn from the rich vein of conspiracy theory. Still, as we all know, there is no such thing as coincidence in that world.

Continue reading "Steve Jackson is the Antichrist!"

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Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 20:37 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

July 25, 2007

Harry Potter and the apostolic succession

Some more bizarre Harry Potter material has shown up in alt.conspiracy, and it has to do with the apostolic succession the Pope was going on about the other day.

In Three Apostolic Successions (op. cit.), the sorcery powers of Jesus were discussed. These sorcery powers were passed along to Peter. Peter later had a sorcery showdown with Simon Magus. So, it is worth noting that Harry Potter also reportedly has such sorcery powers.

Locally, last evening, at midnight (and matching the magical 7/11 date), the new Harry Potter movie premiered here. Naturally, this premiere was given a front-page headline spread, in the Champaign- Urbana News-Gazette.

But seeming to forestall the Harry Potter elevation of 7/11, Pope Benedict XVI invoked some counter-sorcery of his own. Raining on the Potter Parade, Pope Benedict XVI released a document on July 10th proclaiming the Catholic Church to be the only true church. This means, in other words, Harry Potter is not the Pope. I, Benedict, am the Pope.

A few days later, the same author elaborates on the hypothesis by identifying Potter's nemesis:

Papa bin Edict has begun spiritual warfare with Lord Voldemort (Vladimir Putin). The contest was joined roughly coinciding with the numerological date of 7/11, 2007.

So-called "Dementors" have defected from the Vatican and secretly work for Putin. Does a secret society, the Order of the Phoenix, oppose Putin and lend support to Papa bin Edict? Or are they part of a "Fourth Way"? Not clear at this time is the role played by Sirius Black (Serious Black), Barack Obama.

The Harry Potter connection becomes more tenuous after this, but there are some interesting bits involving goths, monks and sodomy. Finally, there's some kind of conclusion:

Also numerologically significant is the date 7/7, 2007. At that time, the nasty house elf Kreacher, disguised as Al Gore, prestidigitated a glamour to dazzle the eyes. Kreacher belongs to the Dementors, hostile to bin Edict and in league with Putin. When the Mother Earth Glamour sorcery flopped, this marked the subsequent sorcery battle escalations.

Harry Potter, vying with others for the papal crown, is allied with the sacred feminine. A subterfuge to cloak so-called conspiracy theories under the guise of fiction heralds the premiere of some new, acceptable, conspiracy magazine, possibly to be called The Quibbler.

Harry Potter, the Fourth PopeConspiracy Nation, 11th July 2007; Sorceries Of Papa bin EdictConspiracy Nation, 14th July 2007.

Update: The articles have now been posted to the Conspiracy Nation site, and the links have been updated accordingly. See, we even link to enemies of Cthulhu!

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July 22, 2007

Bored now

There has been very little by way of interesting anti-Harry Potter rubbish to mark the publication of the last book in the series, but at last, I found some written by one Greg Farber. It seems that some early British socialists had the (very common) family name Potter, and this is grounds for a conspiracy.

Also the true Author of the wounded in the head, little Dark Prince Harry Potter was written by Richard Potter himself, The Lady J.K. Rowlings who claims to be the author is not at all, she was just given the job of editing and a nice title. Richard Potter a benifictionary of Sydney and Beatrice Webb who began the Fabian Socialist movement in England and they really intended to Socialize the World but began in a very small way. Potter was a very rich Rail road magnet who helped them with a lot of money. They sent Ramsey McDonald to the United States in 1895, touring the United States. He came back and said, The United States will never be Socialised until we can get rid of the State and Federal Constitution Ramsey McDonald became the future Prime Minister of England.

And who exactly was Richard Potter? The father of Beatrice Potter, who was born in 1858. That explains the turgid Victorian prose and the complete lack of any reference to anything modern in the books! Another paragraph from the article is interesting, too, and I think is meant as some kind of explanation:

The British Labor Party has been controlled by the JESUITS since its inception in the late 1800s. it has always advocated Home Rule for Ireland-as did British SIS Aleister Crowley!!Asquith, Lloyd George, and Labor-Loyalist Smokin Winston Churchill were all controlled by the Order via its Fabian Socialists, Like the American Republican Party, nothing good ever proceeded, or was allowed to proceed from British Labor–the true backers of the Soviet Russia's Bolshevicks and the Pope's Masonic Jewish Zionists ruling Israel's Labour party.

The author does not explain what the British Labor Party is - maybe some American organisation of ex-pat Labour Party supporters or something? Nor what it has to do with Harry Potter. The article ends with something which was debunked in Harry Potter and the Fundamentalist's Mind, published in the Prattle back in 2002.

J.K. Rowling uses imagery in her Harry Potter books contained in the Alchemy Book, “The Chemical Wedding of Christian Rosendreutz? written in 1459. Using such a obsure book, known only to the occult initiated, is one strong indication Rowling does practice Witchcraft.

As I pointed out five years ago, it's a Rosicrucian text, not and alchemical one, and available online. These days, there's even an English translation. Other fundies insist that the text is the single most important one, though it's obvious that neither interpretation is the case.

And that's not all. The same individual has written another piece which is even less comprehensible. Harry Potter and Hollyweird only mentions Harry Potter in passing, but "exposes" the terrible symbolism of recent Disney films.

Under Michael Eisner, the Walt Disney Co. ( Which has seen Walt's surviving nephew, Roy E. Disney, part ways with Eisner in disgust) has become one of the mass initiators of children through visual processing loaded with brazen occult themes. As one example, the animated film Atlantis contains a surfiet of OTO symbolism. ( Ordo Templi Orientis ) The cartoon character Scooby Doo has also been transformed into an evangelist for Witchcraft. In Scooby Doo and the witches ghost, kids learn that Sarah Ravencroft, buried long ago in a Puritan village, was really a Wiccan and that Wiccans were people who were in tune with forces of nature and used them for healing purposes.

Scooby Doo was originally a Hanna Barbera creation and is now a Warner Brothers character—nothing to do with Disney. Apparently the Da Vinci Code has made Catholic nuns turn to Wiccan practices, too.

Harry Potter, Socialism and the truthSun Valley Idaho Online, 19th July 2207; Harry Potter and HollyweirdSun Valley Idaho Online, 20th July 2207.

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July 10, 2007

Crazy sign lady threatened with eviction

United States: A woman who has "messages from God" plastered all over her home has been told to remove them, or reduce them to a size which does not violate city codes, or face civil and criminal action. She faces losing her home if she does not comply.

San Mateo officials have taken a cautious but steadfast approach to the situation since neighbors began complaining last year that Benavides' signs about witchcraft and government conspiracies are hurting their property values....

But with Benavides convinced that she's a prophet, the city's resolutions, fines and threats have accomplished nothing. And a woman whose life was already crumbling could eventually wind up homeless or in jail.

Benavides insists that she does not need psychiatric help, and that mental hospitals are used by the government to manipulate people. She cites Scott Peterson and Timothy McVeigh as examples of people who have been brainwashed by the government into committing murder. She is convinced that God will make sure she's alright.

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July 9, 2007

Wrestler blames "satanist" collegue over third wrestler's suicide

United States: At the end of last month, WWE wrestler Chris Benoit killed his wife and child before hanging himself. There have been sensible suggestions regarding his death, such as known effects of anabolic steroid use (a phenomenon know as "roid rage"), and one or two conspiracy theories, but fellow wrestler Johnny Angel goes further: he believes a third party was responsible for the deaths.

In series of videos on YouTube, he accuses another wrestler, Kevin Sullivan, of being a murderer. Part of his reasoning holds water - Sullivan used to be married to Benoit's wife Nancy, and the deaths happened 10 years after the date of their divorce. At the time, Sullivan had threatened to kill Benoit in front of other wrestlers. But then Angel gets interesting—this wasn't a simple revenge attack, but because Kevin Sullivan is a high-ranking member of the Satanic Church. This is, of course, according to the video, somehow relevant.

The police need to consider the possibility that these murders were carried out in order to have his revenge, which is what Satanists live for... Amongst many possibilities, this is a possibility.

The video then goes on to detail Angel's detailed and violent fantasies about what could have happened.

No doubt the forthcoming libel case will prove most interesting.

Is Kevin Sullivan The Real Benoit Killer?entertainmentwise, 9th July 2007;Was Chris Benoit Murdered by Kevin Sullivan? PART 1YouTube, 4th July 2007.

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July 6, 2007

The reasonably concise Glasgow car bomb conspiracy list.

Scotland: There have been one or two conspiracy theories developing around the efforts of incompetent terrorist wannabees in Glasgow last Saturday and London last week.

Continue reading "The reasonably concise Glasgow car bomb conspiracy list."

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Iraqi cryptozoology

Iraq: Recent weeks have seen reports of strange animals around Basrah.

For over a month now, people in Basrah have been circulating rumors about a strange, bear-like deadly creature that attacks people at night with its strong claws. Locals in rural areas around Basrah claim it has killed three people and injured six others, and that it usually pounces on its victims as they are sleeping outdoors during hot summer nights, when electric power outages are common. Farmers at Garmat Ali, Abu Skheer, Jisr and Shikhatta were so alarmed, they assigned guarding duties at night to prevent its attacks, the Nahrain website and Radio Sawa reported last week...

The animal is known locally as the Garta or 'the muncher,' and mothers in Basrah used to tell scary stories about the Garta to their children so they would not wander out alone at night. Old families in Basrah believe the animal brings bad luck because it is mostly found in cemeteries at night. The unusual phenomenon, however, is their sudden appearance in large numbers near the city and their increasingly aggressive behavior.

Rumours are circulating that British troops have deliberately brought the creatures, or their eggs, into the city as a means of spreading chaos. Some of the animals have been killed, and are believed to be the indigenous Hog Badger.

Rumors of Strange Creatures Abound in BasrahIraqSlogger, 6th July 2007.

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May 13, 2007

Tenuous but interesting

United Kingdom: We've mentioned Ian Fleming's occult connections before, but an author has uncovered links between him and the prosecution of Spiritualist medium Helen Duncan in 1944. Duncan was convicted under the 1735 Witchcraft Act after the spirit of a deceased sailor allegedly appeared at a seance, much to the surprise of his mother who thought he was alive. According to the legend, the authorities were keeping the sinking of a particular ship secret, and considered Duncan a threat to security.

After examining all the documents, Hartley believes there is evidence to suggest that Duncan's conviction by an Old Bailey jury in March 1944 was unsafe. In a new book, Helen Duncan: The Mystery Show Trial, he suggests that among those responsible for the conspiracy to convict Duncan was Fleming, a key figure in the naval intelligence services, and John Maude, the prosecuting counsel at the trial. 'I am convinced naval intelligence were working with MI5, and when I began looking at that connection Ian Fleming's name kept cropping up as being involved with people either involved in the case or on the sidelines,' said Hartley.

From the description given by the Observer, the author seems to believe that the authorities were scared because the psychics had real powers, which casts doubt on his research. Hopefully it's fully cited. The article also brings up another little factoid of interest to the Prattle, blowing away one part of the Helen Duncan hagiography:

Despite popular belief, Helen Duncan was not the last person to be prosecuted in Britain for witchcraft. In September 1944, after the D-Day invasion, Jane York, 72, from Forest Gate, east London, was charged with seven counts of pretending to conjure up spirits of the dead. She was bound over for the sum of £5 to be of good behaviour for three years.

Though I feel obliged to point out that the infamous Witchcraft Act used in these cases did not ban witchcraft—in fact it stated that there was no such thing. The crime was to claim to have such powers, which did not exist and were therefore fraudulent.

007's creator 'was in plot to frame witch'The Observer, 13th May 2007.

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April 30, 2007

More Virginia Tech conspiracies

United States: More and more conspiracy theorists have been hard at work coming up with their interpretation of the Virginia Tech shootings. After all, mentally ill person goes over the edge is far too simple to be the Truth. Salvador Astucia even manages to link it in with dead Wiccan soldiers being allowed to have a symbol of their religion on their gravestones.

There appears to be a great deal of occult activity in the Roanoke/Blacksburg area of Virginia... Have the police investigated the possibility that the slayings may have been ritualistic killings associated with satanic cults? Were any of the victims or their friends followers of Wicca, which is another term for witchcraft?...

Why did the Bush Administration endorse witchcraft within the military shortly after the slayings? Unbelievable as it sounds, the Bush Administration suddenly recognized Wicca (witchcraft) as a religion within the military less than one week after the Virginia Tech slayings... How is it possible that a conservative Republican and born-again Christian like George W. Bush would suddenly allow witchcraft to be a bona fide religion within the U.S. military? This happened just a few days after Bush spoke to students, faculty members, friends and relatives of shooting victims at Virginia Tech. If the situation weren't so tragic, it would make a funny comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live. I can just picture a Bush imitator saying, You young people have endured a great tragedy, and in times like this, we need to look to the Lord for guidance. And if that doesn't work, try witchcraft! This is unreal. Is it possible the Bush Administration's capitulation on Wiccans in the military was a quid pro quo of some sort–a payment to the true killers?

Of course, this particular hypothesis ignores the fact that there have been Wiccan (and, gasp, even Satanist) military chaplains in the US forces for about 20 years now.

Not so much a conspiracy theory, and more like hate speech aimed at an already demonised minority group, one of the American tabloids has decided that Cho did it because he was a poof. Of course, it makes complete sense! Pooves always go around stalking and harassing women to have sex with them.

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April 21, 2007

Evolution of a conspiracy

United States: The Virginia Tech shootings have given us an interesting insight into the way conspiracy theories, and other alternative viewpoints, develop.

On April 18th, Debbie Schlussel posted a picture she'd found on Flickr to her blog. It showed a young Korean man with glasses who bears no other resemblance to Cho Seung Hui, except that his name is Cho Seung Hoo - which apparently is quite different to a Korean. The young man is a computing teacher in Indonesia, and a Christian, and took the name Ismail while there because it's easier for the locals to pronounce. The picture showed him with this name written on his arm.

Schlussel suggested that this picture was of the murderer and that he was some kind of Islamist terrorist. When it was pointed out that this was not Cho Seung Hui, but a very different man living on the other side of the world, she took the post down, replacing it with an explanation this is not the guy, so I'm removing it. The photographer's explanation can be found near the bottom of this Boing Boing post. A less polite version of events can be found at The Agitator.

Anyway, case closed. Mistaken identity, everything's in the clear now, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, some people did not see the correction, and the story took off, fuelled by some good old-fashioned ethnic and religious hatred.

There are many theories being proposed as to the meaning of the words—ISMAIL AX found written in red ink on the inside of one of Cho Seung-Hui, a 23-year-old senior's arms, the gunman suspected of carrying out the Virginia Tech massacre that left 33 people dead. [The Followers of ISMAIL, David Johnsson]

A story that he put the name A. Ishmael on the package he sent to NBC and scrawled the name on his own arm just adds to the confusion, though the Daily Mirror did point out some explanations for the name, including one that makes more sense for an English student:

DERANGED Cho Seung-Hui may have seen himself as the lonely Ishmael character from the classic 19th century novel Moby Dick...

The novel by Herman Melville describes the voyage of a ship as it hunts for the great whale Moby Dick. The narrator introduces himself saying Call me Ishmael.

He tells the reader of his feeling of alienation from human society. Another theory is that Cho's reference is from the Bible. Ishmael was the son of the prophet Abraham.

We've already noted that Cho was clearly inspired by the Bible. Also, on the night the video was released, BBC News 24 reported that it included anti-Islam hate speech (no link, alas, but it was repeated during the non-stop coverage the channel was giving to the story) But the loons are still in denial, desperately trying to find some link to Islam, and heavily promoting the idea that he was a Muslim. The American Muslim explains, and also notes the hypocrisy that, these days, any criminal who might be Muslim is considered to be a terrorist:

Yet, the speculation over whether Cho had any connections to Islam continued because of the words Ismael Ax that were tattooed on one of his arms. What do these words mean? In the April 18 edition of the Chicago Tribune, Eric Benderoff wrote: In Islam, Ibrahim is the father of the prophets and, upset that people in his hometown still worshiped idols and not Allah, he smashed all but one statue in a local temple with an ax. Ibrahim's son is Ismail, who also became a prophet. He continued, This theory picked up speed because many bloggers wondered if the actions at Virginia Tech could be related to terrorism.

Once again, because of extremely dubious connections to Islam, Poof!...Cho Seung Hui becomes a terrorist. Once again, the moment someone who is Muslim commits a crime, it automatically becomes an act of terrorism. Never mind that Muslims, too, can be simple criminals and not lone jihadists ready to die (and kill) for Allah.

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Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 17:09 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

April 18, 2007

Irregular round up

Feeling lazy again. Here are some recent stories I missed:

  • Three Central American governments have banned a man claiming to be the Antichrist from entering their countries. Wear pants, Pope, says banned 'Antichrist'News.com.au, 15th April 2007.
  • A fight between nuns has ended with two injuries and two arrests. The violence broke out between two rival factions residing in a convent in Avdellero, Cyprus.. Nuns come to blows over rights to conventEkklesia, 17th April 2007.
  • Three people have been killed at a publishing house in Turkey that produced bibles, in an apparent attack on the country's Christian minority.. Three killed at Turkish publisherBBC News, 18th April 2007.
  • We have a problem with teenage Goths who go into graveyards at night. Vandals cause £15,000 of damage to two famous capital graveyardsThe Herald, April 2007. Other newspapers blame generic bored, pissed teenagers, rather than those who would simply wallow pretentiously in the dark romance of the graveyards.
  • Disappointment as pundits unable to blame massacre on goths. Trench Coat Mafias, Loners and GunsHuffington Post, 17th April 2007. (and not much sign that we'll have to start a Great Virginia Tech Conspiracy List, either. Oh no, I spoke too soon.)
  • European newspapers are ... implying that Charlton Heston is indirectly responsible for the scope of the killings.. Blaming Charlton Hestonalt.politics.republicans, 17th April 2007.
  • Virginia Tech assassin alive?alt.conspiracy, 17th April 2007.
  • Was VT Mass Murderer Cho Taking Paxil Anti-Depressant?alt.true-crime, 18th April 2007.
  • Early details about the horrific school shooting at Virginia Tech strongly indicate that these events represent a Columbine-style black- op that will be exploited in the coming days to push for mass gun control and further turning our schools into prisons.. Virginia School Shooting: Another Government Black-Op?alt.conspiracy, 16th April 2007.
  • We live in an era when public high schools and colleges have all but banned God from science classes. In these classrooms, students are taught that the whole universe, including plants and animals—and humans—arose by natural processes. Naturalism (in essence, atheism) has become the religion of the day and has become the foundation of the education system (and Western culture as a whole). The more such a philosophy permeates the culture, the more we would expect to see a sense of purposelessness and hopelessness that pervades people's thinking.. How Could a Loving God ... ?Answers in Genesis, 16th April 2007.

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April 2, 2007

Speechless

England: There are some stories I wish were April Fools' Day jokes, but this one is dated 2nd April, so it can't be:

Schools are dropping the Holocaust from history lessons to avoid offending Muslim pupils, a Government backed study has revealed.

It found some teachers are reluctant to cover the atrocity for fear of upsetting students whose beliefs include Holocaust denial.

There is also resistance to tackling the 11th century Crusades - where Christians fought Muslim armies for control of Jerusalem - because lessons often contradict what is taught in local mosques.

I am lost for words.

Teachers drop the Holocaust to avoid offending MuslimsLondon Evening Standard, 2nd April 2007.

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March 20, 2007

Be careful who you lie about

United States: Four Amway distributors have been ordered to pay Proctor and Gamble over $19 million in compensation. The four had spread rumours that the company was involved in Satanism, and the case has dragged on for over a decade. The judge had earlier decided that Amway itself could not be held responsible for the actions of its self-employed distributors.

P&G filed suit against Randy Haugen of Ogden and three other distributors in 1995. The company charged the four had disseminated the devil-worship hoax through Amway's voice-mail system.

P&G said the Amway quartet passed along the false story that P&G's president had told a television talk show that his company was affiliated with the Church of Satan.

That never happened. But the Cincinnati-based maker of laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, toothpaste and other products claims the rumors still cost it millions of dollars in sales.

Jury awards Procter and Gamble $19 million over devil worship rumorsThe Salt Lake Tribune, 19th March 2007. See also: Let sleeping myths liePagan Prattle, Summer 1994, for an example of the rumour from Usenet.

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February 4, 2007

Sunday miscelleny

A handful of stories from the last few days which I was too lazy to write about at the time:

  • Teachers get advice on how to spot signs of ritual abuseThe Guardian, 2nd February 2007. Note the word being repurposed to mean the abuse of children by Christians who believe the child to be possessed or a witch. Many of the signs are a bit crap, and others would apply to more mundane forms of child abuse too.

  • Brought to book: the poo lady's PhDThe Guardian, 3rd February 2007. Ben Goldacre find Gillian McKeith's PhD thesis:
    There are lots of grand statements about research, with nice superscript numbers relating to references in the back. But when you chase to the back of the book to see what these academic documents are, they include such august periodicals as Delicious, Creative Living, Healthy Eating, and my favourite: Spiritual Nutrition and the Rainbow Diet.

    Some of it is plainly absurd. As we get older, she explains, the levels of RNA/DNA decrease. Okay. If you do not have enough RNA/DNA, she goes on, you may ultimately age prematurely. Stress can deplete your DNA, but algae will increase it. And that's not all. Chlorophyll within the algae is a powerful oxygen generator for human beings. Back to GCSE Biology: it'll only make oxygen if there's light inside me, Gillian ...
    I found You are What you Eat frustrating and full of errors—it cited the safe drinking levels which were revised upwards in the early 1990s, for example. There are some good recipes in there, but often they are made needlessly complicated, and use exotic ingredients which would put it out of the price range of mere mortals.

  • New Conspiracy: Israeli Genocide Against Lebanese — With Poison BalloonsThe MEMRI Blog, 1st February 2007. This sort of panic is well recorded, and has a long history. There are examples of similar panics during the First World War, but this one seems to have the added legs of organisations willing to exploit it for political reasons.

  • An indictment that the liberal left is oblivious toThe Guardian, 3rd February 2007, isn't on the web site, presumably due to intense embarrassment about the ungrammatical title. Oliver Kamm alleges that a mysteriously monolithic liberal left puts the rights of religious organisations over that of the individuals they oppress:
    In the past century, material betterment and the steady diminuation of discrimination advanced progressive goals. Much of the left have [grr...—F.] yet to come to terms with this achievement. At the extreme, some who were once on the left have adopted the language and outlook of the right. They argue for what by any objective standards are reactionary positions. These include promotion of religious obscurantism in place of secularism; segregation of the sexes at public events; abridgement of free speech in deference to the sensibilities of those who claim themselves victims of Islamophobia; and, most pernicious, the resurrection in political debate of some highly traditional motifs of anti-semitic conspiracy theory.
    If you can get yourself to the library, it's on page 31.

  • Tolerating intolerance is still this country's besetting sinThe Guardian (Comment Is Free), 4th February 2007. More comment on a related matter to the above.

  • Muslims are now getting the same treatment Jews had a century agoThe Guardian (Comment Is Free), 2nd February 2007. One major difference, which is mentioned, but not dwelled upon, is that 19th century radicals-who-happened-to-be-Jewish were not fighting to impose Judaism on the populace as a whole, nor were they the ones wearing traditional Jewish dress as they had pretty much rejected religion. The tiny minority of violent Islamist fundamentalists claim to be fighting for their faith.

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January 30, 2007

God and the entitlement culture

My correspondents get better spam than I do, even if the message denies that it is spam:

This email is NOT SPAM
Please do not ATTACK American's Free Speech by BLOCKING this email or ILLEGALLY marking this email as SPAM. This email is NOT SPAM, because no products are being sold.

A strange definition there, and not a good one as a certain amount of the message involves the spammer trying to sell us his imaginary friend. Perhaps he's being honest and admitting that his product does not actually exist?

What's really interesting is the content of the rest of the message, which is an attack on a church whom he believes did not pray hard enough for his recently-deceased father, and so caused his demise. I'm sure we can all think of a better reason for God's silence. The message is a little long, so you'll have to click on the link to read it. It's long, but ultimately worth it for the dedicated psychoceramicist.

Continue reading "God and the entitlement culture"

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January 11, 2007

Passion of the Christ even more Satanic

It seems that Cutting Edge Ministries are not the only bunch of loony fundies to see all sorts of weird Illuminati symbolism in The Passion of the Christ, as a quick Google reveals. Barbara Aho starts off with a bit of pedantryTechnically, the last twelve hours of the life of Jesus Christ on earth were those preceding His Ascension, however Gibson’s movie covers the betrayal, trial and crucifixion of Jesus—before observing that some of the actors had dubious pasts (and here was me thinking that forgiving of past sins was a Christian thing. Oopsikins). Then it gets interesting, in the way we appreciate here at Prattle Towers (both hemispheres).

Continue reading "Passion of the Christ even more Satanic"

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January 5, 2007

Hitler was a Jew who acted as he did to create Israel

Iran: Mohammad-Ali Ramin, a top aide to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has an interesting hypothesis to explain certain events of the mid-20th century.

In the interview, translated by MEMRI, Mohammad-Ali Ramin, a chief aide to Ahmadinejad, told Baztab that Hitler's paternal grandmother was a Jewish prostitute and his father even kept his Jewish name until finally changing it to Hitler when he was 40.

Ramin also claimed that the reason Hitler developed such an aversion to Judaism was because his Jewish mother was a promiscuous woman. Hitler therefore, says Ramin, tried to escape his religion.

But any hope of consistency flies quickly out of the window, as Ramin tries to explain why a self-hating anti-semite might try to provide a safe space for those he had come to loathe:

He welcomed the policy of expelling the Jews from Central Europe for two other reasons: Firstly, the establishment of a Jewish government in Palestine was an aspiration of the rich and influential Jews who surrounded him. Secondly, exiling the Jews from Europe and Germany was a general and historical demand of the Western Christian nations. With the full support of the British, and in coordination with them, Hitler addressed this general demand and [thereby] managed to gain widespread popularity in Europe. Obviously, publishing writings and information of this sort is forbidden in Germany and in the West...

Which is a little odd, as he apparently cites a book first published in the US and Germany in the 1970s (and still in print, it seems) as a source for his information. Maybe MEMRI mistranslated a Farsi word meaning makes you look like a complete lunatic as forbidden?

Of course, apart from this one piece of crank literature, Ramin has no evidence to support his suggestions. Naturally, this is because it was all destroyed by the Zionist conspiracy.

The Zionists recently... destroyed many documents and papers pertaining to the period before the war, which contained authentic statistics and figures regarding the Jews, such as how many Jews there were, where they [lived] and how they operated. One of the places that was destroyed completely and burned [to the ground] - and which... contained the most valuable documents pertaining to this matter - was the [building of] the newspaper Pravda, which had been published in Moscow for 80 years. On February 10, 2006, the building was set ablaze, and its entire archive, with all its back issues and photographs, was burned and destroyed, and not a trace of it was left.

So extensive was the cover-up, that not even Pravda appears to have reported on the disasterous fire which engulfed its HQ.

Mohammad Ali Ramin, Advisor to Iranian President Ahmadinejad: 'Hitler Was Jewish'MEMRI (insert usual caveat here), 3rd January 2007; Iran: Hitler was a JewYNet News, 2nd January 2007.

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January 1, 2007

Passion of the Christ satanic!

It was inevitable, I suppose, but while researching the forthcoming end of the world, I encounted a series of articles about the occult nature of The Passion of the Christ at Cutting Edge Ministries. Of particular interest to us is WHY IS ANTICHRIST SYMBOLISM PREVALENTLY SHOWN IN "THE PASSION" where, we are promised, we will discover the symbolism of "Jesus"' naked buttocks in the last scene, among other things. But the first thing we learn is that antichrist and Roman Catholic are one and the same.

Once our journalistic investigations prior to the opening of "The Passion" had revealed strong occult Roman Catholic influences in the creation and the direction of the movie, I felt that we should see a significant Illuminati signature depicted somewhere in the movie.

It starts early. Apparently the virgin birth is nothing but a Satanic deception planted by Auld Nick himself. But it's the eyes of the Christ character that are the most obvious Satanic symbols in the film.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus is repeatedly punched in the face by Caiaphas' guards. After this savage fist beating, Jesus' face is swollen and very puffy. In fact, His right eye is completely closed. For the rest of the movie, Jesus is shown as being able to see only out of His right eye, as this picture clearly demonstrates. Right up until the time of His death on the cross, Jesus is able to see out with only one eye. In other words, Jesus is a one-eyed Messiah for the vast majority of this movie.

Does this mean Jesus is really Odin then? I mean, there's the one-eye thing, and the hanging on a tree thing...

Was that an All-Seeing Eye of Illuminized Freemasonry, the One-Eyed Wisdom and Benevolence of Providence.?

This is also where Jesus' bum comes into it, as He is seen leaving His tomb in his bare scuddies (and bare everything else, too).

Carefully consider this fact: that depiction was totally unnecessary to this film! The Gospels do not record that Jesus left the tomb naked; Sister Anne Emmeric did not see in her "visions" that Jesus was naked as He left the tomb. Therefore, why would Gibson and his Jesuit script writer concoct such an ending? Since Gibson reportedly spent $50 million of his own money to make this film and get it distributed, and since he is a proven professional screen director, you know that he paid attention to every detail, no matter how minute. You know that he knew this film was going to end on Jesus' bare bottom, so that must have been the plan.

But why, and does this mean Jesus isn't Odin after all? Apparently the C.F.R. (Council on Foreign Relations) portrays Antichrist as a one-eyed, left-eyed naked Messiah riding a white horse. It only seems to have four legs though. As you can imagine, Cutting Edge Ministries have a rather unusual view of the CFR. But back to the point, after observing that The Moslems believe that an Antichrist is to appear who will have 'one eye' and that it's only ever the left eye that is shown, they come to a stunning conclusion.

Therefore, you can only now conclude that the reason Gibson showed "Jesus" bare buttocks was that he was providing the second part of the Antichrist symbol - A one-eyed Messiah who is naked!

Right. Now,if only they could work in the Odin bit, to match their Mary-as-Pagan-Goddess bit...

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August 2, 2006

Letters: Sumatra Tsunami

As well as providing a somewhat challenging comment recently, 'reidh' also corresponded via the contact form, supplying an original contribution to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List. I reprint it here, so that I can link to it from the list:

I think it is entirely within the realm of both possible, and feasible, as well as plausable, that the great shift in the shelf causing that tsunami, could have been triggered by already in place horizontal oil drill holes, paralleling the plate overlap line. Oil Companies do not advertise it NOW, but they have been horizontally drilling into deposits and fields for decades. They also have steam and lubricating mud injection capabilities. They also take LNG and inject it into drill sites and use it to wash the traces of oil off the interior walls of oil deposits underground. Now, the Oil Companies may have no interest in triggering earthquakes through induced fault slippage, or they may have. But some foreign world order might have a profound interest, not only experimentally, but to bring chaos upon a large Muslim (read, potential terrorist support region) populated area. Sure didn't Clinton and Bush (former project mgr with Zapata Oil Exploration Co.) look splendid handing out the big bucks from america? A perfect cover. Anyway, call me loopified, but thats my opinion and i'm stikin' intuit.

January 8, 2006

Tsumani caused by Jews Israel

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List has just been updated with the addition of a link to a fascinating posting in alt.rush-limbaugh. The posting centres around a CNSNews story, America, Israel, India Caused Tsunami, Conspiracy Theory Says, in which we learn all about the Egyptian version of the Weekly World News:

The Egyptian nationalist weekly Al-Usbu' accused the U.S., Israel and India of carrying out nuclear testing that may have cased the tsunami. Those nations were testing how to liquidate humanity, the newspaper said.

Was [the earthquake] caused by American, Israeli, and Indian nuclear testing on 'the day of horror?' Why did the 'Ring of Fire' explode? Mahmoud Bakri asked in his investigative piece published in the weekly on January 1.

The writer of the CNS piece was sceptical of the allegations. The poster to alt.rush-limbaugh seemed less so, what with him titling his post 1st. Anniversary Of Jewish Tsunami Devistation!. He even managed to tie it in with current affairs, and conspiracy theories concerning earlier events:

The only reason why Israel hasn't unleashed their evil weapon again is because Ariel Sharon has been hospitalized and unable to give the final order! More proof that Israel was behind the Dec. 26 2004 genocide which took 200,000 lives. In fact, the same experts who've testified that Israel used remote control Boeing 757's and a controlled demolition to cause the horror of 9/11, have concluded that no one but Israel has the technology to cause such a devastating wave. Why haven't these criminals been brought to justice?

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November 24, 2005

A bit of local interest

Edinburgh: My efforts to create something for NaNoWriMo have led me to some very interesting places. Somewhere, not far from Prattle Towers (Northern Hemisphere), resides one Andrew Hennessey, author of Monkeys of Eden - the telepathic Overlords and the Slaves of Earth, which is available online as a free e-book.

It was his assertions about Edinburgh that were of greatest interest to me [note: garbled text corrected. Like most of the people who attract my interest, he has great trouble using his software, or, as he puts it Monkeys of Eden the ebook on this site seems to have little ascii additions that look greek and chinese - but hey - its all good fun ... I've guessed at the ellpses, as that seems to be a preferred form of punctuation in this type of literature.]

Events which will happen in Edinburgh, Scotland, within the next 10 years will shape the final destiny of mankind on this planet. The descent of the returned Angels of the Covenant, the Elohim is witnessed every night over the Scottish Capital.
Edinburgh, and it is though the very forces of Darkness that billet their HQ’s in Edinburgh are finally confronted by the Angels of Christ in a most apocalyptic manner. It is as if a Star out of Jacob has returned to turn the tide.

However, in the dark reptoid HQ’s of some of the worlds most Satanic organisations which seem to be found in abundance in Edinburgh ... there is an identifiable mindset emanating from the membership that has also turned the capital into a Sodom and Gomorrah of western europe.
But what else could be expected of the Reptoid Priest King Captal of the Planets Surface ... the New World Orders “religious” Capital ... the City of Nihilism, Lunacy and Pornography.

Above, the Returning Stars of the Host of Christ, and below, the dark reptoid iniquity that is the ancient underground evil of Edinburgh.

For me, the story begins in 1980, in Edinburgh, Scotland, for others, there is a much more ancient reality behind Edinburgh and the Lothians; Dark Secrets, arcane bloodlines and a procession of Alien beings and Scottish Thrones receding into the mists of time - to the fabled remains of Atlantis, and the Watchers whose magical powers have stretched across the aeons. They who have waited, trying to guard the gates of the underworld, who have watched, whose grasp on the temporary hopes of humanity today is still yet to be proven and put to the test ... are gathering.
But it looks like that time is soon to come.

The Edinburgh in which he lives seems far more interesting and exciting that the city I live in.

Continue reading "A bit of local interest"
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November 23, 2005

The truth about Dorothy

Andrew Ian Dodge sent me a most intriguing link today. WIZARD OF OZ and the ILLUMINATI MIND CONTROL is about, well, guess:

The history behind the Wizard of Oz programming is interesting. It suggests that the Wizard of Oz has had an important part in the occult world all along. One of the secrets of the Mystery Religions, especially the Egyptian Isis mystery religion was the ability to use drugs and torture to create multiple personalities. The word Oz is known to have been used by its author as an abbreviation for Osirus. Monarch victims have the golden penis of Osirus placed into them. The Grimm brothers, who were cabalistic jews, gathered the folk occult stories together. Their stories are full of spells, trances, and drugs. Sleeping Beauty is put to sleep, and the trigger to wake her is a kiss on the lips. These are serious hints that the occult world didn’t stop programming people with dissociative states and triggers when the ancient Egyptian empires fell. Instead of using modern lingo such as hypnotize, they would say cast a spell. Later in Freemasonry, the Right Worshipful Master would charge (meaning hypnotize) an initiate. The occultist Baum, a member of the Theosophical Society, was inspired by some spirit who gave him the magic key to write the Wizard of Oz book, which came out in 1900. The book’s story is full of satanic activity and satanic thinking. The story was chosen in the late 1940s to be the basis for the Illuminati/Intelligence community’s trauma-based total mind control programming. As a way of enhancing the effect of the programming, Monarch slaves are conditioned to place trigger items into their lives. When the movie was made, Judy Garland, who had lived a life touched by the occult world’s abuse, was chosen to act as Dorothy. Judy’s later husband, Mickey De Vinko was a satanist and the chief assistant to Roy Radin, a rich satanist who worked with the Illuminati, and who controlled the Process church covens which had as members mass murderers Berkowitz and Monarch slave Charlie Manson...

...and so on, for a very long time.

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September 6, 2005

The Great Hurricane Katrina Conspiracy List

United States: Okay, I give up. The conspiracy theorists are busy refusing to believe in natural disasters again. This time, it's Hurricane Katrina (and Hurricane Rita) which is the work of evil governments, psychopathic deities and all the usual suspects. No doubt when San Francisco is hit by a huge earthquake, they'll insist that it was totally unexpected, and really the work of their preferred evil. So, here is the traditional Great Conspiracy List to which we'll add as more conspiracies emerge.

Continue reading "The Great Hurricane Katrina Conspiracy List"

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July 10, 2005

London: it was the Conspiracy, you know

One of today's additions to The Great London Bombing Conspiracy List points the finger of blame at many of the Usual Suspects in the exciting world of conspiracy theory:

The actual perpetrators of this act of terrorism are an unnamed and shadowy group of ultra-extremist left-wing republican journalists, photographers, and editors who are normally based in Southern Ontario. This fringe group of diabolical wordsmiths have a secretive history that can be traced back to the Gutenberg Revolution. It is known that this group of vile manipulators are the puppet masters largely responsible for pulling the strings of more well known but informal economic and political groups like the Freemasons, the Barvairan Illuminati, and the Buildibergers...

...The London bombings were a response to an unexpected setback to their plans for Global domination and Control. Specifically, their coordinated reportage of the recent Karla Homolka media-op somehow went awry, possibly because of an unpredictable accident of misadventure by their star player, Karla herself. This could have not occurred at a more inopportune time as the public psycho-social indicators of affect being fanned by the KH media-op were approaching a critical juncture. Left high and dry by the presumed loss of their irriplaceable media icon-subject, there was no option but to put into motion a diversionary emercency plan. Hence, the London debacle...

For those who are not entirely familiar with this particular conspiracy, it is difficult to show cause, fact, evidence, and motive. Interpretation of the relevant literature requires a great deal of study and training in a variety of difficult fields. There is no time or space in this brief article to provide much detail, but it can be said that a comprehensive Google search on key phrases contained within this text will lead to the vast majority of the critical background literature.

And then it gets so completly bizarre that one begins to wonder if we have a travesty-generated entry to the Joke Conspiracies category:

Local psycho-social indicators such as the software update to the Christie Blatchford auto-rant AI expert system, and the intensification of the Rex Murphy Psycho-Linguistic Mass Semiotic Positive Feedback Loop have been detected by our specialists, who are tirelessly watching and analysing the relevant critical indicators. Anomalous spikes in the Pseudo-Real Public Emotive Indicies have been identified, but as yet there is no conclusive linkage to a causitive originator.

That makes almost as much sense as QuePirate!

The real truth behind the London bombings. - Steve in alt.conspiracy, 9th July 2005.

Bampot tags: , .

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July 7, 2005

The Great London Bombing Conspiracy List

United Kingdom: It didn't take long for the conspiracy theorists to get to work on the London bombing, after all it couldn't possibly be the work of a few religious bampots, could it? Most of them bear a stunning resemblance to the ones surrounding September 11th 2001. So, here are the ones we have so far:

Continue reading "The Great London Bombing Conspiracy List"

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April 19, 2005

Tsunami caused by Aliens (again)

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List continues to grow. The latest addition concerns the shocking discovery that it was not a natural disaster!

Geologists and Physicists are perplexed at some new data analysis of a phenomenon that is well known for many decades. For the first time it is shedding some light on a the fact that many UFO researchers believed for many years -- Extraterrestrial UFOs control the tectonic movements and the resultant earthquakes as well as resulting Tsunamis.

The phenomenon in question is that of "earthquake lights" - strange lights which are sometimes witnessed before major tectonic movements.

There are some beliefs that these earthquake lights are created by earth's electromagnetic flux during such high release of energy during tectonic movements and earthquakes. Researchers now have found that these lights do not occur in all tectonic tremors. The lights are seen only in non-harmonic tremors (signifies non volcanic tremors) and in many cases they are just not there if the length of the tremor period is considerably less.

The new findings point towards artificial electromagnetic flux trying to create or more like prevent large tectonic movements. In many cases the lights point towards a focused concentrated electromagnetic flux application on a specific spot to accelerate or prevent the tectonic movements.

The scientific evidences point towards extraterrestrial UFOs manipulating the tectonic plates through focused application of electromagnetic flux. Eventually in the next fifty to hundred years, some physicists believe that terrestrial technologies will also advance to control earthquakes and Tsunamis in a very similar way.

All perfectly logical.

Evidence of extraterrestrial UFOs controlling tectonic movements, earthquakes and Tsunamis through electromagnetic flux - India Daily, 18th April 2005.

Bampot tags: , .

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February 25, 2005

Tsunami still inspiring nuts

The more observant among you will have noticed some new additions to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List, all of them in the Religious Insights category. One is a fairly boring Christian number of the beast prediction but the other two are far more interesting. First up is Sheldon Nidle writing on behalf of the Spiritual Heirarchy and the Galactic Federation, who explains that it was Mother Earth farting:

Recently, your global society suffered a great tragedy in Southeast and East Asia. This calamity was caused by the need to relieve the pressure of two large tectonic plates pushing up against one another. In a message a couple of weeks ago, we informed you that Mother Earth needs to move into the next stage of her return to full consciousness. This coming stage presages a vast increase in seismic and volcanic activity. Mother Earth accomplishes these movements in a manner that causes minimal loss of life. If the entirety of these two plates had moved, the loss of life would have been in the tens of millions! Again we caution you about the need to understand these immense processes in the broadest of perspectives. Mother Earth is preparing herself for your new reality. This means that, eventually, the Earth as you know her will alter enormously. Her electromagnetic fields and even their polarity will change. Likewise, her appearance and the processes by which she maintains herself and her highly diverse ecosystem will alter.

But don't panic--according to the update for 22nd February:

As noted in our last few messages, our scientific teams are also working with your planetary Elohim to stabilize Mother Earth. Your beloved planet still needs to make a number of corrections to many of her surface regions. We are now formulating a scenario whereby this can be done with a minimum of distress to your global society.

All this activity attracted the attention of venerable net.kook Robert McElwaine, who responded on the 20th January in alt.alien.visitors:

> 
          TO: The Galactic Federation and the "spiritual hierarchy"
          C/O The Planetary Activation Organization

               This is my reply to paragraph 1 of the January 4, 2005 
          Galactic Federation Update, http://www.paoweb.com/sn010405.htm :

               In one or more past Updates, The Galactic Federation 
          bragged about having TRANSPORTER BEAMS that can TELEPORT 
          LARGE NUMBERS of People, QUICKLY and SIMULTANEOUSLY.

               The Galactic Federation had PLENTY of time (25 minutes 
          for Sumatera, much longer elsewhere) to move ALL of the 
          TSUNAMI VICTIMS OUT OF HARM'S WAY, but did NOT.

               HOW MUCH MORE SUFFERING AND DEATH MUST WE TOLERATE, JUST 
          SO A COUPLE OF HOT-SHOT "ascended masters" (SO-CALLED) CAN 
          FINISH THEIR OWN PET PROJECTS ?!  First Contact is ALREADY 
          EIGHT YEARS LATE !

               Like the "spiritual hierarchy", "mother earth" ALSO is 
          part of the NEGATIVE POWER, as described in my Article 
          "NEGATIVE Divinities" which can be found at 
          http://members.aol.com/rem460/badgods.txt and at 
          http://www.geocities.com/remspiral7/badgods.txt .

                                   Robert E. McElwaine
                                   PAO Member
                                   Eckankar Initiate
                                   B.S., Physics and Astronomy, UW-EC
                            http://members.aol.com/rem547 PLUS
                            http://members.aol.com/rem460
                            Preserve BOTH on CD-R and PRINT-OUTS

          See also http://members.aol.com/rem460/heldback.txt , or 
                   http://www.geocities.com/remspiral7/heldback.txt .

          P.S.: PASS IT ON !
> 
> 
>  
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February 21, 2005

Catholics the new satanists

United States: Bizarre allegations have surfaced during an investigation into the death of a nun, Sister Margaret Ann Pahl, in 1980. Bizarre allegations which bear a stunning familiarity to the completely bogus ritual abuse myth which was circulated by fundies in the late 1980s and early 90s.

An investigation by The Blade based on hundreds of police and diocese records, as well as interviews, shows that prosecutors are still examining details of the slaying - including a pattern of stab wounds resembling a cross - while interviewing people about the abuse allegations in an expanded probe.

Investigators have talked to numerous priests and former students at local Catholic grade schools to determine if they knew anything about children being molested in bizarre ceremonies involving a small ring of clerics, according to several people interviewed by police.

I'm sure they have learned the lessons of the 80s and will not be asking any leading questions.

Four women told detectives about being abused between the late 1960s and 1986 during cult-like ceremonies involving altars and men dressed in robes, the accusers told The Blade. I've had nightmares about this since I was a child, said one woman, who asked not to be named. I didn't think anyone would believe me.

She did not explain why she failed to come forward during the original moral panic, when her claims whould have been treated sympathetically and with absolute credulity. This particular case stems from a single woman who had undergone therapy, although we will have to wait for the case to go to court to discover if she was genuinely abused by the priests, or merely convinced that she had been by her therapist.

Continue reading "Catholics the new satanists"
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February 14, 2005

TGTCL: latest additions

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List continues to grow. Today's entries are:

Religious Insights: Tsunami Was God's Punishment Claims Former Chief Rabbi - The Scotsman, 31st January 2005 (also Ireland Online the same day.

The tsunami that ravaged southern Asia last month was God's punishment for world support for Israel's plan to withdraw from the Gaza Strip, a former chief rabbi has claimed.

When the Holy One, Blessed be He, is angry with the nations of the world that don't help Israel -- but want to evacuate and disengage, and interfere in our affairs and harm us -- then the Holy One, Blessed be He, claps his hands in sadness, and this causes the quake, former Israeli Chief Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu told the ultra-Orthodox Ma'ayanei Hayeshua magazine.

Thanks to tjc for spotting this one: Tsunami was 'divine visitation upon Sabbath pleasure seekers' - The Scotsman, 10th February 2005. Presbyterian minister John MacLeod said:

It has to be noted that the wave arrived on the Lord's Day, the day that God has set apart to be observed the world over by a holy resting from all employments and recreations that are lawful on other days.

Experiments Gone Wrong: Was Tsunami caused by human hands trying to develop alternative energy from Tectonic plate frictions and movements? - India Daily, 9th February 2005.

Joke Conspiracies: (new category) Get ready for another fake "terror attack", a la 911 - Owamanga in alt.conspiracy, alt.politics.bush, misc.survivalism and alt.california, 11th February 2005.

Ahhh, but you left out the bit about the real Flight 77 then getting it's wings cut off and converted into a special submarine with 160 windows so that top US & Russian officials could watch the Tsunami from just off the Sri-Lankan coastline. It's rumored that tickets on Sub-77 cost more than superbowl.

I'm not suggesting we created the Tsunami, far from it. Apparently the Government has been able to talk to Dolphins since the late 80's, and they told us it was coming. I guess their computers are better than ours, and er, probably waterproof too.
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February 7, 2005

Bye bye, Trekkies!

What does Star Trek have to do with the Tsunami?. Everything, according to Rev. John "Transporter Buffer" Mayfield of the Order Of The Isolinear Temple. In an egregiously cross-posted article, We'll Be Leaving May 13th, he calls on Trekkies to leave the planet.

On May 13th, 2005, after the series finale of Star Trek: Enterprise, we will shed our containers and join our space brothers on their star ships in orbit.

With the ending of the Star Trek franchise, there is no longer any reason for us to stay on Earth. The end of the franchise is a sign the world will soon face apocalyptic catastrophes and will be completely destroyed. We know full well the tsunami in the Indian Ocean was a precursor of future calamities to come. The cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise further solidified our beliefs.

Thousands of us, consisting of Star Trek fans all over the world, will be beaming up our katras to the space brothers star ships as we rise to the level of Kholinar above Earth and travel along side our Heaven's Gate cousins.

So, what can we do to stop this terrible loss to humanity?

The only event which will reverse our decision and the fate of Earth is for UPN to renew Star Trek: Enterprise for the 5th, 6th and 7th seasons.

That last bit makes me wonder if it isn't a candidate for the Intentional Humour category.

February 3, 2005

Tedious Canadian rock band caused the tsunami

Just when you think that there cannot possibly be any more to add to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List, something comes along that makes you wonder if it's the work of a postgraduate AI student, hoovering the cat and generally avoiding writing their thesis. In this case, the questionable character is one LIBERATOR, who postulates that the band Rush is part of a tsunami-creating conspiracy.

The gifts I used lastnight to detect RUSHs idiot band people at the bar, as well as knowing the Virginia Newbon porn people were actually her people, even talking to her in the bar as they looked at me.

Jewish trillionaires engineered this. First I need good psychics, to track this. Study the situation. Identify them, and they are being shielded by witches, that probably befriend RUSH and talk to RUSH daily, they trained Virginai Newbon, thus having personal access gives them ability to provide false signals that lead them astray.

The Tsunami murders - RUSH failed - alt.music.rush, alt.fan.clint-eastwood, alt.music.bon-jovi, alt.fan.kirsten-dunst, rec.martial-arts, 23rd January 2005.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 19:58 | View blog reactions

February 1, 2005

Tsunami conspiracies run and run

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List has been frequently updated since it was first posted, and the most recent additions required a whole new category: Future tsunamis in the making. You see, not only was the tsunami the work of evil governments, an experiment gone wrong or aliens, but they either plan to do it again, or their activities will inevitably lead to a repeat performance.

India Daily reports on two possible scenarios. Firstly, the aliens are working on sub-tectonic experiments in the Indian Ocean. Strong aftershocks and UFO sightings are evidence of this nefarious activity:

According to some experts, these are signs of possible experimentation with tectonic plates by some entity. People in Nicobar island complaints something is going on under the ocean -- deep underground -- many miles below the water surface.

The pattern of aftershocks is also strange. Normally on plotting the same they show a gradual decrease in the moving average of Richter scale reported. This time no pattern can be found. After one large aftershock, a considerable time lapses before the next one. It seems someone is controlling the after shocks and making sure plates are not over stressed.

And in addition, anecdotal evidence suggests that boats are mysteriously disappearing in the area:

A sailor in the Shipping Authority of India Limited who also sailed in transatlantic shipping routes says, this part of the Indian ocean resembles now Bermuda triangle region.

A week later, and another hypothesis emerges concerning the pattern of aftershocks: someone is building a tunnel under the Indian Ocean, towards the Himalayas. The method by which this has been determined is a little like that for finding ley lines.

When the epicenters of these quakes are joined with a straight line, it seems that the aftershock epicenter is moving along this line. The aftershocks are between 5.2 and 6.2 in Richter scale. After a series of aftershock there is approximately 78 hours of gap before the next series appears.

They do not indicate which map they used, or if the curvature of the Earth has been accounted for.

Red Wolf had better beware, for Sydney is due to be destroyed by earthquakes and tsunamis fifteen days ago.

UFO Sighting and Strange Signals reported again in Indian Ocean sub tectonic experiment? - India Daily, 24th January 2005; Eight more quakes in Andaman-Nicobar -- aftershock epicenters moving northwards -- someone building tectonic plate level tunnel towards Himalayas? - India Daily, 31st January 2005.

January 20, 2005

LavenderBob LeatherPants

United States: Fundie pressure group Focus on the Family have unearth another example of the Evil Homosexualist Conspiracy trying to influence our kids into their perverted ways. It seems that several children's TV characters have recorded a single as part of a campaign to promote tolerance and diversity, including Spongebob Squarepants, Bob the Builder and various Muppets. The song chosen is We Are Family, a massive hit for Sister Sledge in the 70s, and still ever so slightly popular in gay venues (but not as popular as Kylie).

This isn't what has upset the fundies though. They are in a tizz because they are convinced that Spongebob SquarePants is a gay icon:

SpongeBob - who appears on the children's cable channel Nickelodeon - is seen as an icon for adult gay men in the US, apparently because he regularly holds hands with his sidekick Patrick.

Nile Rodgers, who wrote the song, is the founder of the We Are Family Foundation, which tries to teach children about co-operation and unity. Mark Barondeso, a WAFF representative, told a newspaper that anyone who thought the video to promote homosexuality needs to visit their doctor and get their medication increased.

US right attacks SpongeBob video - BBC News, 20th January 2005 (thank Tony!).

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January 19, 2005

Love Me (Satan) Do

A bizarre posting on Indymedia Canarias makes some rather interesting allegations about The Beatles:

John Lennon's divorce followed, as well as his entering the world of black magic, as deeply as to buy the apartment where the Rosemary's baby had been filmed, previous property of Roman Polansky, and in that same apartment John Lennon had a room upholstered with black silk where he used to do his black magic operations.

At the same time, the devil acted through his other main puppets with Sympathy for the devil, that was when the pact of the Rolling Stones with Satan took the life of the founder of the group, guitarist Brian Jones (who refused to be a puppet of the devil), murdered by people sent by Mick Jagger, another assassin, who after wanted the world to believe that such a brilliant swimmer as Brian drowned in his own pool.

Antichrist John Lennon followed the Devil's strategy writing lyrics such as God is a concept by which we measure our pain...I don't believe in Jesus, etc., etc., (God) and and no religions too...(Imagine).

Obviously George Harrison is dead because God killed him to punish him for his Hindu beliefs, but our anonymous, multuple-personality correspondent forgets to stick to defaming the dead, and starts to project his own insecurities onto Paul McCartney

Paul admitted that he made Linda suffer a lot, but he didn't say that it was because he felt insecure as a man due to his womanish face and effeminate manners and also because with his age his sexual power was not the same, even though it has never been much. The early days were the days of competition between Paul and his wife and John and his wife and he knew he had to compete with ugly John for the leadership of the band in front of their wives and having Yoko Ono made him aware of his lack of virility and repressed homosexuality, he grew the beard that we see in the "Let it Be" film and started to show pictures of naked women on the same film, doing every effort he could to be seen as a man.... It is easy to note the uneasiness of McCartney when he sings: "I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide..." in front of Yoko in the film. (He already had the traumas that his previous girlfriend Jane Asher had caused him when she made him conscious of his little manliness and effeminate manners).

Paul has such a big inferiority complex as a man, due to his effeminate face, body and personality and due to his repressed homosexuality that he found himself a handicapped woman with only one leg, so that he could stand out, being very conscious that a full woman would make him feel the superiority of virile men again, as Jane and Linda did. This is something that his ego trip of lucky bad musician could not face anymore.He is very conscious that money and fame cannot buy virility and manliness.

Ringo Starr is not mentioned before we reach the inevitable barking-mad fundie conclusion:

After the Devil began his devastating job from the ghostly Devil's Island through his nine main puppets (Beatles-Rolling Stones), he possessed an endless amount of other schizophrenic bad musicians in the afore mentioned Island and weakening their conscience with drugs, he made them proclaimers of homosexuality, aversion to religion, destruction of family values, dissipation, mental illness, antisocial tendencies, etc., etc.,

The fact that bad apprentice musicians such as the Beatles and the Rolling Stones achieved such a giant fame that not even the real quality musicians could achieve, was because the forces of Satan were behind everything, supporting the process.

This mentally ill humanity, destroyed families, twisted moral values, manifest or repressed homosexuality in human beings, anti natural feminism rebellion, drug addiction, corrupt social outlines, mad youths without direction, non respect to hierarchies, convulsed nations, misanthropy, misogyny, paedophilia, irrational and feeble lasciviousness and all other type of existent aberrations, are due to the vast manoeuvre that Satan executed through his main marionettes the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, from the Devil's Island.

If you wonder why there is misery and curse in your house, it is because you own some L.P, CD or another article related to the CURSED BY GOD Beatles and Rolling Stones. We recommend you to take that curse out of your house throwing away everything related to the Devil's main nine puppets....

Note: I'm not going to make any sarcastic comments about 'Christian English' here as the writer is clearly not a native English speaker. If you read Spanish and find a Spanish-language version which shows the traditional illiteracy, do let us know.

The Beatles caused the disintegration of mankind - Indymedia Canarias, 18th January 2005.

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January 13, 2005

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List

Red Wolf has been hard at work collecting tsunami conspiracies, and I've been working somewhat less diligently to add a few more. Here are the fruits of our labours:

Continue reading "The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List"

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January 11, 2005

Ignore those gods, it was aliens.

The Turkish press has a summary of conspiracy theories concerning the recent Tsumani. Take this one, recently published in India Daily (which seems to be going the Pravda route):

Recent alien contacts have been reported with the South Asian Governments especially India. UFO sightings have been rampant over the region affected, [Sudhir] Chadda wrote.

Some in Nicobar Island say that it was an experiment conducted by the alien extra-terrestrial entities to correct the wobbly rotation of the earth. And some of the Indian scientists are actually seeing that wobbly rotation of the earth has been corrected since the massive underwater earthquake and Tsunami.

And, according to an India Daily editorial, the aliens tried to warn people about this:

Was it a coincidence? Lots of people now from the Tsunami and earthquake hit areas are reporting about strange Unidentified Flying Objects they saw a few days before the mega quake and Tsunami. People in Indian state of Tamil Nadu, Andaman and Nicobar Island as well as many in Indonesia were reporting for some time about strange flying objects in the sky

Conspiracy theorists see dark forces behind tsunami disaster - Turkish Press, 6th January 2005 (or 11th January 2005); An enormous number of UFO sightings before Tsunami and earthquake in South and Southeast Asia were they trying to warn? - India Daily, 31st December 2004 (check out that site's 'technology' section for more tsumani conspiracies).

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies and Science Fiction at 19:02 | View blog reactions

December 1, 2004

Blaming the usual suspects

France: Authorities have called for a ban on a satellite TV station operated by Hezbollah after it blamed 'Zionists' for the spread of AIDS.

The CSA cited as evidence an al-Manar broadcast last week that spoke of Zionist attempts to transmit dangerous diseases like Aids through exports to Arab countries. The broadcast said Israel had no scruples about infecting Arabs and Muslims.

This latest rant comes just a week the station gained approval by pledging not to incite religious hatred.

'Zionists busy with Aids warefare' - IOL, 1st December 2004.

September 21, 2004

Secret Herts

England: Hertford is where it's at as far as the conspiracy is concerned. According to a 'documentary' to be shown on Sky this week, the town is home to both the Knights Templar and the Illuminati!

Tim belongs to a high-ranking family in the Knights Templar, a powerful society of warrior monks which dates back to the Crusades -- and who still meet at a secret location in the town.
But he denied a link with former US Secretary of State Dean Acheson, a well-known Templar, who was in President Harry S Truman's inner circle during the 1950s.
Cryptically, he told the Mercury: I cannot talk about my family connections. The older members of secret societies want to keep them secret, whereas some of the new blood is a bit more open.
I do know two members of the Illuminati who live here, but I must protect their identities.
There are powerful and dangerous forces at work here and I cannot risk getting on the wrong side of them.

Town may be a base for secret society - Hertfordshire Mercury - not dated, believed to be 17th September 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 17:46 | View blog reactions

September 1, 2004

This week's Antichrist

There are many candidates for Antichrist. The latest is Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Arnold Schwartzenegger may just be a bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned Governor and nothing more. Or maybe, when you put everything together, he just might be a terminator / villain / destroyer / barbarian / predator, aligned with the Communist driven New World Order, destined to run for Governor via the Recall election, rising up to world prominence and power, who will wind up a traitor of the American people serving up true lies, a raw deal, and doing little for our benefit, during the end days time period in history or at least during the end of the United States, as the United States slips away in its long goodbye, all of which is really just a part of the greater matrix reality.

(via Cheryl Morgan).

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 07:20 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

July 30, 2004

Move over Jesus, you have competition

United States: A fundie author is to appear at a restaurant in Pleasantville, South Carolina, even though her book appears to claim that she is dead. Evelyn Murray Drayton's vanity published tome, I Had to Die Exposing Witchcraft in Church, looks to be the standard-issue evangelism-by-false-witness type of publication often seen in the more extremist Christian bookshops. In it, she claims to have exposed a terrible conspiracy thanks to a prophecy made by her pastor.

The book details some of her real life experiences -- including combat with a curse of witchcraft sent her way by a church leader whom she respected and a false prophetess, and how she grew spiritually following her chilling experience...
Drayton thinks it is by divine intervention that her book is being published at about the same time various other satanic church activities are being publicly exposed.

DeBordieu teen wins gold in N.Y. (scroll down a bit) - Georgetown Times, 30th July 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 14:39 | View blog reactions

Avignon moves a bit

Spain: The real Pope is Gregorio XVII according to himself and his 300 or so followers. He claims to have been ordained by God, because the Vatican is controlled by Satan having been infiltrated by Masons and Communists.

Rome ... is no longer the capital of Christianity; the new Rome is the Sacred Place of El Palmar de Troya, a booklet from Gregorio's church quotes God as telling him.

Mel Gibson would approve of the Church, which has canonised dictator Francisco Franco, as it rejects reforms made in the 1960s and uses Latin. And there will be no debate over succession, as Gregorio's demise will resemble Gibson's sado-masochistic fantasy film:

Followers call 58-year-old Gregorio the last pope, and say he will be crucified. An electronic information package handed out at the church shows gory pictures of Gregorio with bleeding wounds in the hands, torso and forehead similar to those of Christ on the cross.

At the end of his reign the anti-Christ appears and he will put the pope to death, he will crucify him, and then Christ will appear and destroy the anti-Christ and a new era will begin, a middle-aged Irish man told Reuters on his way to mass.

Spanish Sect Leader Says He Is the Real Pope - Yahoo! News, 27th July 2004 (via The New American Revolutionist).

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July 24, 2004

Another Letter to the Editor

The Prattle satellite office has received a missive from the seller behind a recent Bargain of the Day. Unlike his attempt at communication with the lovely Feòrag, he was forced to use the commenting form on my site, which does seem to prove that he is capable of using comment forms. It just appears that he doesn't want to directly respond to posts.

Continue reading "Another Letter to the Editor"

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July 22, 2004

Hello Kitty is the Goddess

[Hello Kitty in a PVC devil costume]Guatemalan evangelists Juan Pablo and Kathia Leonardo have investigated a Hello Kitty craze in Hebron, and made some disturbing discoveries.

Well now we will see the relationship of the acient cult of cats and this Hello kitty character, as a matter of fact bast is still honored by some pagan cults, and that is not surprising because the greeks called her Artemis and the Romans Diana, which is also semiramis and every other pagan goddess around, Bast is represented as we said by a human body of a woman with a cat's head... that's Hello kitty description also!!, the difference is that it has cartoon non idol appearance, but as Demetrius the silversmith of Artemis, the Silversmiths of Hello kitty, a company named SANRIO (wich in chinese means Lord of the Mount), brings in no little business for her craftsmen, claiming net earnings of 114 billion yen for the fiscal year 2001.

Not only is she bringing Pagan cat worship into Christian homes, but she is doing so in a typically feline sneaky manner:

My so called theory is that there is a dumb spirit behind her, mentioned in Mark 9:16, and our children the children of Hebron are being drawn to destruction for no other reason that for the love of this world, satan Shrewdness brings this so called Toy because he knows Christians would reject Mickey Mouse, Pokemon, but Hello kitty? Oh she's so Cute, Most disturbing is the fact that Pi Beset in hebrew means mouth of loathing.

The depth of our fundagelical friends' research is stunning - it turns out that Kitty-chan's husband, Dear Daniel, is not a boy cat!

Also it is said that bastet is the goddess of the Lesbians, recently Mcdonald's launched a toy collection of Hello kittys dressed as a She and as a He, they came in such couples, of She and She but dressed as He and She, isn't that a repulsive statement of Lesbianism?????

But worst of all, she's leading little children into the occult!

[Hello Kitty with a mouth] Social Communication, without a mouth? How then does it communicate? according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience..... because anything that doesn't brings us an our children to the obedience of Christ, is not other thing but DISOBEDIENCE, And so maybe some contemptuous parents would snap... Are you saying I am exposing my children to witchcraft and sorcery!!!!!! Well maybe this parent should not wait until he sees his children in some sort of pagan practice, since the scripture says that rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. And adds ... Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king.! Sam 15:23 And indeed Ephesus the capital of diana, was a city with one particular trait we find in Acts 19:19, .... And a number of those who practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all, witchcraft and ocultism is deeply linked to the goddess diana, artemis or bastet, all the names refer to same evil force... , even we find october 31st to be her day.

Of course, as the above still from 80s cartoon series Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater shows, Hello Kitty does have a mouth, and uses it to communicate using new-fangled inventions called 'speech' and 'language'.

HELLO KITTY OR HELL OF KITTY - Kjos Ministries, 2003.

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Letter to the Editor

Sometimes people mail the Prattle, rather then using the comments. Imagine my surprise, upon my return from the pub last night, to find my inbox graced with a missive from the vendor of a recent Bargain of the Day. Unfortunately, like the auction description, it is not in English:

I see my add cought your attention to the point of adding it to your web site - fine by me - but tell me don't you guys see the absolute mathematical certainty of it - I dont mean just the so called circular argument (which I'd like to know what you mean bye that) but the fact that the numbers I describe to add together = 666 is the correct biblical meaning of this number- I'm not selling you anything - I'm anouncing my arrival - see I make all things new!
I'd buy some canned food if I were you. till you all get over the transition Q

July 15, 2004

Cremation Street

Mexico: Tan infinito como el desierto, a soap opera about a series of mysterious murders in Ciudad Juárez has caused outrage because of the way it focusses on lines of enquiry that police have already ruled out.

According to a June 1, 2004 Reuters article the five part series recreates a murder every night of its run and explores a different line of police inquiry into the killings. These lines of investigation include the creation of snuff films, Satanic masses and copy-cat killings based on previous serial murderers.

In reality, the murders are not all linked, and two-thirds of the dead women were victims of all-too-real domestic violence.

In recent years, snuff films and Satanism have not been seen as the likely origins of the violence which has claimed over 300 women's lives since 1993. Many of these women were killed by their spouses or partners. More than 100 were killed in a serial manner which includes abduction and typically rape (which can sometimes not be confirmed from forensic evidence). The primary suspects in these killings include sexual predators, a group of wealthy men and/or drug traffickers.
An article in the Ciudad Juárez newspaper El Diario states that victims' family members have said that they will sue Azteca if they are not reimbursed for the company's unauthorized use of their daughters' names and images.

Juárez Serial-Killing Soap Opera Draws Fire, Newspaper Criticized - Frontera NorteSur, 13th July 2004 (also at Pacific News Service).

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 23:19 | View blog reactions

July 2, 2004

Invoking mermaids

Cornwall: Andrew Ian Dodge draws my attention to a news story with the words He was into the occult and he was murdered so...let's make assumptions!. It would be hard to improve on that summary.

Peter Solheim was a parish councillor, and a father of three, and his body was pulled out of the sea by fishermen two weeks ago. There are discrepancies between where his body and his dinghy were found, which leads police to suspect foul play. But the clincher is that he was a druid, and was a bit weird.

He joined a druid sect in St Merryn, Cornwall, several years ago and took part in rituals such as dancing around stone circles. A member said: It became clear that he wanted to go into areas that everyone else felt uncomfortable with. He was always making knives and swords.

And he was a bit of a loner, something which concerned someone calling themselves the arch-druid of Cornwall, who insisted that there's something odd about solitary neopagans.

Ed Prynn, the arch-druid of Cornwall, said: Pagan worship is meant to be a shared experience but he went off on his own to do it.

The arch-druid demonstrated the in-depth knowledge that earned him his title when he spoke to the BBC: I always teach people not to dabble with the occult, the darker side. Clearly a definition of occult gleaned from loony fundie nonsense.

This is, of course, from reasonably sober news sources. What about the tabloids? Well, as far as they're concerned, he was a Satanist. The Daily Mirror shouts

A MURDERED father of three was obsessed with Satanism and cast frightening black magic spells, friends said yesterday...
One sect member said: He became involved with Satanism and liked to perform lone rituals. He was always making knives and swords. We worried about him.

None of which helps determine if he was killed, or just got washed off his boat.

Drowned man linked to occult - Daily Telegraph, 2nd July 2004; Occult link to drowned councillor - BBC News, 2nd July 2004; 'SATANIC SPELLS' OF DEAD DAD - Daily Mirror, 2nd July 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 12:02 | View blog reactions

May 24, 2004

Evil Pagans change their calendar

The murders of Holly Wells and Jessical Chapman were the work of a violent nutcase who is now safely banged up, and unlikely to ever see the light of day again, right?

Don't be silly! It couldn't possibly be that simple. And Ellis C Taylor has a much more complicated suggestion - it was a sacrifice to the Goddess. It starts with an assertion that the girls disappeared on the Pagan festival of Lughnasadh, conveniently moved to 4th August - a date which is more significant than can possibly be imagined by us mere muggles non-psychic types as it was also the Queen Mother's birthday!

Continue reading "Evil Pagans change their calendar"
Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 20:19 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

Ley me down in Milton Keynes

Referring to an earlier post here, Alison Scott makes a startling revelation:

Milton Keynes is designed so that at sunrise on Midsummer's day, the sun is aligned directly with Midsummer Boulevard & is reflected in the mirror finish of the railway station.

Further investigation threw up a 1991 article by respected Earth Mysteries writer Bob Trubshaw. It seems it is much more complicated than that:

Continue reading "Ley me down in Milton Keynes"
Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies and Heritage at 19:17 | View blog reactions

May 17, 2004

I say it was Saddam's aliens

Iraq: The murder of Nicholas Berg wasn't the work of Islamists, but a Satanic human sacrifice, according to Wiolawa Press. And it wouldn't be a proper conspiracy if the Jews weren't involved:

X- symbol of the ILLUMINATI (house of Satan) AKA
CIA/ MO_SS_AD..
NOT BY
IRAQ HUMANS
DOING THE BEHEADING! THE CIA/MOSSAD WANT U TO BELIEVE...

The evidence, as usual, can be found by over-processing JPEG artifacts.

ONE OF THE MAJOR WAYS THE SATANIST REPTILES KILL IS BEHEADING.( in their many SNUFF FILMS THEY SELL). the LEADER IS MARKED WITH AN X( THOSE WHO RULE=72 X 5= 360 PENTA_)and OFFICIATES AT THESE TYPICAL GRUESOME CEREMONIES> TO INSTILL FEAR IN ALL HUMANS (ARABS OR AMERICANS)- simple invert filter.. and enlarged
the next is just enlarged and solarized for more information.. the X dude has a LARGE EYE IMPLANT.. as does the PROBABLE REPTILE ON THE FAR LEFT.. the SECOND to the LEFT.. has a probable LEFT EYE IMPLANT.. and the 4th from the LEFT is probably a SNAKE as his EYES are near the NOSE AREA.. the 5th.. i can see only one eye outlined.. probably the same VINTAGE = REPTILES.. with IMPLANTS.. = MOSSAD/CIA or GUANTANAMO OFFICERS... THE ONLY TWO EYED HUMAN IS BERG!

(via Conspiracy Planet. More relevant questions can be found here.)

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 03:02 | View blog reactions

March 25, 2004

Religious nut lies, news at 11.

Imagine the excitement at Prattle Towers when a self-styled Christian informed us, in a comment, that:

So...what amazes me most is how this page sits at the top spot when I happened to look under "Antichrist."!??!Seems to me someone either paid for it to get to that highest ranking position or Google placed it there for a reason because God knows, no one is looking under or even cares what the small minority of witches have to say about something to do with Bible prophecy!

So we checked. The top entry, www.Antichrist.com, looks entertaining, but it isn't one of ours. The rest of the first page includes speculation, both serious and silly, on who the antichrist might be, a book by Nietzsche, definitions of the word, a bit about a virus hoax and a link to Marilyn Manson. But nothing from this site, and there's nothing in the first 30 pages of hits either.

How disappointing - the kook lied to us. There again, the same indivdual informed us on several occasions that we are witches and that we are followers of Laurie Cabot - and we don't need Google to confirm that that's a load of old bollocks. Do we need to mention the standard of English used in the comment, or can you guess?

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 20:40 | View blog reactions

March 19, 2004

Rant of the Day

The Spring Equinox is often overlooked, with the Summer Solstice and Hallowe'en the preferred dates for evil occult conspiracies everywhere. But this year, it's on the 20th, which is the first anniversary of Oceania having always been at war with EastasiaEurasia. And (barking mad, right wing, fundie, and believing Israel can do no wrong) Front Page Magazine has noticed.

This Saturday, March 20, anti-American marches and rallies were scheduled for dozens of cities in 50 countries around the world, and in the U.S. from Manhattan to Los Angeles. (In picking this date for antiwar protest, did they notice that the month of March was named for the Roman god of War?)
Purportedly chosen to mark the one-year anniversary of America's incursion into Iraq, March 20 this year also happens to be the Spring Equinox (one of two annual days when day and night are equal), the day when spring officially begins.
Millions of pagans, as their forebears did at Stonehenge, go to parks to celebrate the Equinox as Mother Nature's own Earth Day. (The first unnatural Earth Day, April 22, 1970, was deliberately set for Soviet Union founder Vladimir Lenin's 100th Birthday and has been gleefully celebrated as Earth Day by Marxists and their red-green fellow travelers on this mass murderer's birthday ever since.) These pagan nature lovers, brought out by spring fever instead of feverish anti-Bush activism, will doubtless be used to falsely inflate media tallies of rallying Leftist protesters.

Millions of Pagans? That'll be news to most Pagans. EACH MID-MARCH THE BUZZARDS RETURN - Front Page Magazine, 19th March 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 16:40 | View blog reactions

March 17, 2004

Ten Commandments a Pagan plot.

United States: Police are sure that the usual suspect was not responsible for driving a white Jeep into a Ten Commandments monument on private land in Anderson, Indiana.

If history is an indicator, the usual suspect in this caper would be Stephen M. Schroeder, 42, Indianapolis. Indeed, he did damage this particular marker five times when it was on the Statehouse lawn, refusing to pay a $2,500 fine on principle and serving 90 days in jail. But when contacted Monday about the Anderson attack, he pointed out he goes after offending markers on public grounds only. He was genuinely surprised, he said, to hear the news.

But is Schroeder a principled campaigner supporting the separation of church and state. Erm, no.

I didn't even know they'd put it back up, said Schroeder, who describes himself as Christian, Protestant, anti-Catholic and anti-Mason. He's also an articulate, single-minded warehouse supervisor. His mission? To expose Indiana's role as the supreme capital of pagan worship.

After he last demolished the monument, it was returned to the organisation which donated it, The Fraternal Order of Eagles (a mixed-sex voluntary organisation which raises money for charities, a bit like the Rotary Clubs), who erected it at their own lodge.

Now, most fundie hate-campaigners try to maintain the façade that they are acting out of love. Schroeder does not have time for such pleasantries:

Schroeder did not hate the marker because he hates God. He doesn't. He hates pagans, and he maintains this marker was a sneaky pagan plot...
Schroeder contends the image was a Masonic symbol. Free Masonry, he says, is the biggest pagan religion there is. That's what offended him so about the marker.
Frank Morrison, 73, a retired firefighter and president of the Anderson Eagles, seemed a little offended himself. He says flatly that Eagles are not Masons, and Masons are not pagans. He could not recall the symbol Schroeder describes, although if there was one, It may have been covered by the re-dedication plaque, he says, after the marker was repaired in 1998.

Even though the police do not suspect Schroeder in this case, the timing is terribly convenient for him, ensuring that this little notice appears in the newspapers:

Still, what went down in Anderson provides an opening for Schroeder to continue his longtime expose of Indy's pagan symbolism. Did you know, he asks, that the entire Downtown is teeming with diabolic images on public buildings? He will present his views at 1 p.m. March 27 at the House Cafe in Glendale Mall.

On Commandments monument, he finds a pagan plot - Indianapolis Star, 16th March 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 13:00 | View blog reactions

February 29, 2004

Remember, it's only fiction.

The BBC plans to broadcast a drama based on an uncritical interpretation of the therapist-induced fantasies of those who believe they have been ritually abused.

To be shown at primetime on BBC One in the next two months, May 33rd stars Lia Williams as Ella, a young woman whose tortured upbringing causes her personality to fragment into five different people.

Believers hope that it will bring sympathy for their cause, but there are concerns:

But Tom Fahy, a psychiatrist at the Maudsley Hospital, London, argued that many DID cases are the creation of misguided therapists. 'I'm sure there is a link between childhood abuse and DID, but some therapists are slightly naive in their approach and become more interested in the complexities of psychopathology rather than finding a solution. I've seen people with a dozen fully fledged personalities, which can be caused by poor therapy bringing them out.'

Perhaps the BBC might like to consider dubbing this Egyptian drama into English for the summer season. TV drama focuses on ritual abuse - The Observer, 29th February 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 23:48 | View blog reactions

February 18, 2004

Kookery, but not on Saturday.

On my travels, I often make use of vegan restaurants run the Seventh Day Adventists. I quite like them really, especially as they seem to spend the effort others waste evangelising on promoting vegetarianism and healthy living. Indeed, if you want to find religious material at one of their establishments, you will probably find it tucked away somewhere under the cookbooks. Imagine my surprise, then, at finding a publication such as Earth's Final Warning at the Country Life restaurant in Boston.

On the surface, it looks like your ordinary conspiratorial rant about how the Papacy plans to bring about the New World Order. But this makes an important point: the rot set in when the Sabbath was moved to Sunday.

Continue reading "Kookery, but not on Saturday."
Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 20:21 | Comments (13) | View blog reactions

The unholy rood.

The Scottish Parliament building is more than just an overdue means of lining developers' pockets, its location is full of mystical symbolism according to a book read by Simon Pia:

After a chapter on Rosslyn Chapel, the author seamlessly turns his attention to the new Holyrood Parliament, pointing out that David I founded the nearby Abbey in 1128, having been rescued by divine intervention from a rampaging deer.
He then asks the obvious question: Is it simply coincidence that Scotland's new parliament is being built in the same mystical location?
Apparently, some people have commented that the building looks like the all-seeing eye of the god Horus, a favoured magic motif of the ancient Egyptians.

Magical mystical tour of Holyrood - The Scotsman, 18th February 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 14:11 | View blog reactions

February 14, 2004

That nipple again

Satanbusters could well be bettter placed in the Intentional Humour category, but if it is a spoof, it's an accurate one:

On February 1st, as an estimated 130 million unsuspecting Americans tuned in, the Super Bowl half-time show was turned into a perverted Pagan burlesque show. Janet Jackson's X-Rated spectacle is being dismissed as a publicity stunt, but the close examination of the facts reveals something far more sinister.
Super Bowl Sunday, February 1st, was also the traditional Pagan/Satanic holiday of Candlemass or Imboloc. The rites traditionally called for young women to parade around town naked invoking the spirit of Pagan saint Brighid or Brigit (pronounced BREE) in an effort to bring on lactation in farm animals. Brigit was also revered as the goddess of spring and represented by the sun. A close examination of the footage shows a bare breasted Janet Jackson with a strange sun ornament piercing her nipple, both clear references to this Satanic Occult ceremony. The public outcry seems to have largely missed the point. This act was not just about SEX, it was about SATANISM.

And why would this be a problem?

There are millions of practioners of Satanism worldwide. Estimates vary, but it has been suggested that as many as 60,000 people every year are victims of ritualistic satanic murder. With millions of records sold and millions of young minds corrupted, are the Jackson Family America's foremost purveyors of Satanism? Is the Prince of Pop closely aligned with the Prince of Darkness? Was Janet Jackson's halftime show the most highly rated Black Mass in history? The facts speak for themselves.

So there we have it.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 23:23 | View blog reactions

January 6, 2004

Blast from the past

While rummaging through some old SAFF material, trying to answer a query, I found this gem which had previously escaped my notice:

Brain-dead preacher goes where no other brain-dead preachers have never gone before: In the fundmantalist newspaper New Life a headline screams out PREACHER'S VISION LINKS WITCHCRAFT TO M1 PLANE CRASH. The gist of the story is that Clifford Hill, widely regarded by Christian leaders as a prophet of our time, has discovered that the Kegworth Plane Crash which killed 56 people when it crash landed on the M1 during 1989 (because the pilot shut down the wrong engine), was caused by witches. He was shown a clear vision of a witches' coven beyond the runway and in a direct line with it which through its contact with the powers of darkness was causing confusion in the cockpit at the time.... Further on we read that not only are witches responsible for that crash but also the Purley rail crash which killed thirty people and the lightening [sic.] strike on York Minster which destroyed the west wing a few years ago.

The bulletin goes on to point out that Clifford Hill is the editor of Prophecy Today and the guiding light behind World Prophecy Ministries. See that link? The magazine is still with us, and they have an online presence! Right now it has the sort of obsession with homosexuality which causes most people to shout out closet!, but the old occult conspiracy has not been forgotten - read The Occult and Children's TV - A Parent's Perspective from a mere two years ago.

Occult Information Interchange Bulletin 6, December 1990. The real cause of the crash was, as suggested, the wrong engine being shut down, but a change in the instrumentation contributed to this:

The change from hybrid electro-mechanical instruments to LED displays for engine indications has reduced conspicuity, particularly in respect of the engine vibration indicators. No additional vibration alerting system was fitted that could have highlighted to the pilots which of the two engines was vibrating excessively.

The witches must've been working on human interface design at Boeing then. Aircraft Accident Report No: 4/90 (EW/C1095). Report on the accident to Boeing 737-400 - G-OBME near Kegworth, Leicestershire on 8 January 1989 - Air Accidents Investigation Branch, April 1990.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 19:35 | View blog reactions

Cobblers round-up

An inquiry into the death of Princess Diana begins today and, to mark the occasion, The Register looks at a few of the conspiracies surrounding her demise. After all, it couldn't have been a speeding drunk driver! Lady Di inquest scrambles black helicopter brigade - The Register, 6th January 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 13:49 | View blog reactions

December 21, 2003

An explanation

According to Peter (alt.conspiracy, 10th December 2003) Freemasons are, in fact, aliens:

The Freemasons are an organization of extraterrestrial beings, closely linked to Zionism, who cross-bred with earth humans long ago. Not all of them actually join the lodge nor make public their association with this organization. They are the descendants of the fallen angels of Biblical lore who cross-bred with the daughters of men creating giants (seemingly human beings with advanced abilities compared to earth humans.)

We can apparently defend ourselves against them by smoking more dope.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 00:35 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

December 16, 2003

Bow Before Me You Ungrateful Heathens

United States: Ryan Thompson is a junior loony fundie, firmly believes he has the ability to fire conservative truth from the hip. Alas, he's just another deluded bigot with a chip on his shoulder who likes to mouth off about things he cannot comprehend, such as thorny issue of foreign policy.

Continue reading "Bow Before Me You Ungrateful Heathens"
Posted by Red Wolf in Conspiracies at 22:09 | View blog reactions

December 11, 2003

1424

Syria/Lebanon: A special Ramadan television program, 'Al-Shatat' (Diaspora), purports to tell the history of the Jews, and contains some very familiar lies indeed, as well as a few surprising ones.

According to 'Al-Shatat,' the Jews have sought to control the world for many centuries, via a secret global Jewish government. Since the 19th century, this secret government has been led by the Rothschild family.
Under this government's leadership, the Jews were directly responsible for the following: starting the Russo-Japanese war; assassinating Archduke Franz Ferdinand at Sarajevo; starting WWI; starting WWII; the dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki; helping Hitler annihilate the Jews of Europe; helping the Nazis annihilate 800,000 Hungarian Jews in exchange for the release of 2,000 wealthy German Jews; toppling the Ottoman sultan; deposing Czar Nicholas II; starting the Kishinev pogroms; ritually murdering a Christian child in Rumania and using his blood for matzos; torturing and murdering a Jew who married a Christian; murdering Czar Alexander III in Russia; causing the English stock market to collapse following the Battle of Waterloo and again during WWI, in order to make millions of pounds (for the Rothschilds); spying for Germany against France (Dreyfus); inventing chemical weapons (Chaim Weizmann) and selling them to both the Germans and the English; refusing to accept elderly Jewish refugees fleeing the Nazis into Palestine; murdering 100 people in Egypt during military training prior to WWI; deposing British prime minister Harold Asquith; sinking a boatload of Jewish refugees en route to the U.S.; murdering emigrating Jews who tried to turn back to Europe; murdering many other characters in the series in a variety of ways; and numerous other catastrophes and criminal deeds.

But it's not just Muslims who are making outrageous claims concerning the Blood Libel. The Political Cartoon Society's Cartoon of the Year is allegedly anti-semitic because it graphically observes that the policies of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon have led to the deaths of Palestinian children.

Mr Brown's cartoon is a parody of the Goya painting Saturn Devouring One of His Sons and depicts Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon in the same pose, with the sub-heading 'Whats wrong...You never seen a politician kissing babies before?' Outraged Jewish groups claim the image is anti-Semitic because it alludes to the 'blood libel', which held that Jews preyed on Christian children - a myth spread by the Nazis among others.
Neville Nagler, director general of the British Board of Deputies - which represents British Jewry - said: The PCS's decision to give an award to this offensive, anti-Semitic blood libel is beneath contempt.

The kicker? The president of the Political Cartoon Society, Tim Benson, is Jewish and defended the decision to honour the cartoon, noting that the artist had gone out of his way to leave religious symbols out of it.

But Mr Benson said the cartoon was a criticism of Mr Sharon and his policies, not a harangue against Jews. I'm probably the most hated person in British Jewry now, he said. Jewish groups around the world are up in arms. These hysterical idiots are coming onto my site and calling me a Nazi. Do they not want people to have the freedom to express themselves?
You couldn't meet a nicer guy than Dave Brown. Cartoonists depict George Bush and Tony Blair in exactly the same way. If a cartoonist attacks the Israeli prime minister, it's not necessarily anti-Semitic. Dave left the Star of David off the helicopters in the background.

Al-Shatat: The Syrian-Produced Ramadan 2003 TV Special - MEMRI (usual caveats apply), 12th December 2003; 'Idiots call me a Nazi over cartoon', Hendon and Finchley Times, 3rd December 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 22:15 | View blog reactions

November 18, 2003

One we missed

Egypt: The Matrix Reloaded has been banned because is promotes Zionism and may harm social peace and some commentators, such as Karen Jayes, seem to agree with this, to the point of appearing to support some kind of conspiracy theory to explain it.

The relationship between Trinity and Neo - he being the savior of Zion and her name representing the pillars of Christianity - could be seen as mirroring the long-standing Judeo-Christian alliance between the US and Israel. This idea comes to its climax when Neo brings Trinity back from the dead by superhumanly reaching into her heart and squeezing it back to life. Trinity rescued Neo in the first movie, and the first words she utters when she wakes in the sequel are gobsmackingly predictable: Now we're even.
There were other aspects of the movie that outraged me. Too many long-winded militaristic speeches from Morpheus (Lawrence Fishborne) and other army-style confrontations, peppered with the yes-sir, no-sir and with-all-due-respect sir interchanges which have become more or less run-of-the-mill Hollywood dialogue, turned the movie from the subversive philosophical kick at the system that the original movie was, into nothing more than another Hollywood propaganda favor to the White House.

And, to prove it all, she quotes an old, well-known chestnut from Marlon Brando - Hollywood is run by Jews. It is owned by Jews, and they should have a greater sensitivity about the issue of people who are suffering. Hollywood movie promotes Zionism - Middle East Times, 20th June 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 08:29 | View blog reactions

October 28, 2003

The Earth does not move!

I owe Ken Macleod a pint or two for pointing me at The non-moving earth & anti-evolution web page... which not only opposes Darwinism, but the evil theories of Copernicus too!

It's the one right under the Creationist's noses, namely, the other Creationist issue against which they continue to stonewall, i.e., the one that involves the question of whether God created a rotating earth that orbits the sun...or whether He created an immovable earth with the sun (not created till the 4th day) going around it...
...For the Creationist leadership to continue not only to turn a blind eye (and a stiff neck ?) toward these indisputable historical truisms, but to compound that dereliction of duty by giving aid and comfort to the heliocentrist granddaddy of all these Bible-basing isms, is a position that is rapidly becoming unacceptable for those in the growing ranks of Creationists who see the folly and hypocrisy of passively accepting further stonewalling against Biblical Geocentrism by the present Creationist leadership.
The time for open confrontation by Holy Spirit led, Truth seeking folks who refuse to be deterred from following the Bible on this issue or any other is approaching the midnight hour. The anti-Copernican Bible Geocentrism issue is the one issue that was perfectly designed by the Perfect Designer (Acts 15:18) to dramatically demonstrate to the churches first (HERE), and then to the world that Biblical Inerrancy and Bible Credibility are not just idle fundamentalist talk!

And who is responsible for all of this? The Jews of course!

This useless g-d that has been pushed on the world by a Theoretical Science Establishment fulfilling a Kabbalic counterfeit of the Bible's creation account, is, at bottom, an anti-intellectual, illogical, and demonstrably ridiculous concept. The destiny of this concept-as prophesied over 1900 years ago-is to have its Satanic origin exposed one hour (Rev. 17:14) after the Talmudic/Kabbalist planners consummate their ancient goal of establishing their version of a Messianic Kingdom, that is to say, a One World Government, under their control, headquartered in Jerusalem (Rev. 11:7,8).
So, having secured their pseudo-scientific evolution-based mythology as the ruling Origins Paradigm in the science textbooks of the world, Kabbalic Judaism is in firm control not only of all Jewish religion, it is just as firmly in control of the most powerful wing of Christian Fundamentalism. More, as noted, through hi-tech Virtual Reality fraud and flim-flamery in space science (HERE - HERE -HERE), all systems are go to put the Bible God out of the Creation business altogether.

Maybe that pint can wait until after I've repaired this keyboard.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 18:41 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

October 17, 2003

Kill Old Nick

Did you know Quentin Taratino's new film Kill Bill is Satanic fetishism dressed up as courageous, inventive entertainment? That's the view of Henry Makow at Conspiracy Planet, who finds much deeper symbolism in what other people might thing is just cold-blooded, gratuitous violence:

Despite the truce, the Black lady has a gun hidden in a cereal box but she misses. Uma then delivers a large carving knife to the Black woman's heart. The child appears but is totally impassive at the sight of her dead mother. She doesn't scream or run away; she acts as if someone had killed a fly...
A narrator, sounding like an oriental sage says something like: In the martial arts you cannot afford any compassion or morality. To accomplish revenge, you must be prepared to prepare to kill God Himself, or the Buddha.
Can they be any more in-your-face? This is the Devil telling us we can have whatever we want, and nothing can get in our way, especially not God. Just so long as our stupidity is accompanied by pretension and style.
This sick, shocking movie causes psychological damage. It portrays the disgusting and repulsive as normal and natural. It is a vicious parody of our vision of happiness and the good life. It makes a mockery of healthy and genuine values.
Kill Bill brutalizes and degrades. How much longer will Americans tolerate this Satanic indoctrination?

Kill Bill: Tarantino's Satanic Indoctrination - Conspiracy Planet, 17th October 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 20:25 | View blog reactions

October 16, 2003

Digital photography is the work of the Devil

Canada: A Christian fundamentalist farmer has gone to court to argue that he should be exempt from having a digital photograph on his driving licence because the technology will allow central control over people's behaviour, which the Bible warns us against. George Bothwell shares many people's concerns over the use of biometric data, but it's not just privacy he's worried about:

Bothwell believes that biometrics - the use of physical identifiers such as fingerprints, retina scans and face recognition - is specifically cited in the book of Revelations as the work of agents of the devil.
He believes that anyone who allows their image to be archived by an outside agency bears the mark of the beast and will drink the wine of the wrath of God as a result.

Bothwell apparently does not know about scanners, as his concern does not extend to conventional photography--his old driving licence includes such an image. Government doing devil's work, says Ontario farmer who fears licence photo - Canadian Press, 15th October 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 09:43 | View blog reactions

October 14, 2003

A desperate man.

As the trial of Scott Peterson on charges that he murdered his wife, draws closer, the alternative claims get wilder and wilder. with biker gangs, nazis and flying fœtuses getting in on the act The defence plans to bring some unusual paintings in the area to the attention of the court, insisting that scenes of fire-breathing devils and ax-wielding grim reapers... a man and woman in a canoe, with what appear to be three floating babies nearby, intertwined with an umbilical cord are evidence of a Satanic cult. The artists are surprised:

The artists, who call their collective Sniff, were shocked to hear that their paintings were caught up in the Peterson case.
There are some devilish images out there, but it's all in good fun, said Bruce Rayburn, who has his own construction business in El Sobrante and paints with four buddies at the Bulb each Saturday morning. The local people who walk their dogs have come to know us and like the paintings. Then this crazy story came out and put a different light on what we were doing. There's no message in the paintings. It's lots of meaningless things.

Theories unfold as hearing nears in Peterson case - Contra Costa Times, 12th October 2003. See also How to get your client convicted 101 - Pagan Prattle, 16th May 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 12:18 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

September 7, 2003

Not so SMART

United States: Fifteen years after extensive investigation revealed nothing, and the majority of law enforcement officers and social workers concluded that Satanic Ritual Abuse was nothing more than a cruel hoax, some therapists continue to exploit severely mentally ill patients and convince them that their troubles are the result of the ill deeds they have no memory of (until they've paid the therapist enough, that is), as this exchange from the Stop Mind Control and Ritual Torture Conference demonstrates.

Displaying an assortment of intricately designed knives and other implements, Jeanette Westbrook, a conference speaker from Kentucky, recounts graduating from being a Freemason sex slave to a blackmail agent for the CIA.
My father handed me over to the cult; I was like his gift, Westbrook says. When they realized that I was a gifted split -- split-personality -- the CIA got hold of me for sexual blackmail missions.
Oh, I recognize that, says Julaine, an elderly conference-goer leaning over Westbrook's shoulder and pointing to a wavy steel dagger. That's what we killed the babies with.
We were brainwashed by the cult and made to kill firstborn children, Julaine explains helpfully.
Asked where cult organizers got sacrificial babies she replies blithely, The baby farm.

The results are distressing:

Because ritual abuse has been so widely discredited, Loftus says, accusers like Brick are less of a menace to society. Still, she says most have destroyed their family networks and are perpetuating an unhealthy mental state.
They get together in these groups, reinforce each other, ooze sympathy and empathy, give each other a sense of importance, [Dr. Elizabeth] Loftus [a professor of psychology and social behavior at the University of California, Irvine] says. In the end, they stay unwell and never get help.

Speak of the Devil - Hartford Advocate, 4th September 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 13:07 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

July 24, 2003

Bali was initiated by murderous Zionists

Back on 16th July, the Prattle related some evidence given for the defence during the trial of a man accused of involvement in the Bali bombing. He insisted that he was not responsible, and that the explosion had been caused by a satellite-triggered nuke planted by the Jews. Well, a quick trip to crank.net revealed that this suggestion was not original. Back in October 2002, Joe Vialls published a couple of articles promoting a similar viewpoint: Micro Nuke Used in Bali "Terrorist" Lookalike Attack: Zionists forcing Australian support for American war on Iraq:

Until now most Australians have been loudly opposed to any premeditated strike on the Middle East, to the point where the only people in Australia blatantly playing Rambo and apparently obeying the American Zionists without question, are the Australian Prime Minister and Foreign Minister, plus a loose group of obsequious followers. In fact their blatantly subservient behavior recently offended a member of the opposition so much, he felt moved to publicly call the Prime Minister an Arse Licker.

As an extra bonus, he claims that the IRA attack on Canary Wharf in London was also a micro-nuke, along with the City of London bomb and the first attack on the World Trade Center.

The question of exactly who is bombing some of the largest business centres in the world currently remains unanswered, though the brute power of the bombs limits the candidates. Much has been said in America about the possible involvement of the Israeli intelligence service, Mossad, but the only hard evidence pointing in its direction are the two London bombs exploding on a Saturday: the Jewish Sabbath. While this would certainly have limited the number of possible deaths among Jewish business staff in the City of London, the timings might be coincidental.

More recent articles claim: France, Russia, Germany Responsible for 9-11 as a revenge attack after the US sabotaged Concorde because they were jealous, and that Smoking Helps Protect Against Lung Cancer, which is good news for white mice, I suppose.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 15:17 | View blog reactions

July 9, 2003

Stop spamming the Pharoah

The Register has been looking at the bizarre background of a man who proposed stopping spam by getting rid of existing protocols and centralising the net, which would apparently both wipe out pronography, and provide uncensored access. It seems before he started styling himself as an IT expert, he turned his talents to the matter of Egyptpology

Fortunately, a copy of Mr McCarron extensive research still exists on the Net and can be found here. For those who were beginning to doubt Mr McCarron's authority, you will no doubt be swayed by his argument.
Here is just a summary of this masterpiece of numerology: In short, we have made an unbelievable discovery. We have proved the existince [sic] of a highly advanced pre-flood culture. The pyramid and the Giza Necropolis are a way of establishing communication through Universal mathematics, geometry, and a time capsule approach. What they have been trying to tell us is there is an asteroid 1/3 the size of Earth heading towards us. It is approaching on the day time side of the Sun. It will be visible from Earth in 2004 in the direction of Polaris. Key sites around the World are a triangulation of it position.
No, hang on, just a little bit more: I have also been examining the correlation between the Great Pyramid, the HAARP project (Alaska), and the moscow 'woodpecker' signal (10Htz). The similarities are astounding. Their purpose or rather, their capabilities of affecting human perception, thought processes and motor function are the same.

The entire article is worth a few minutes of your time. We've found the perfect solution to spam - The Register, 9th July 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 13:51 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

June 24, 2003

Sweet Dreams

Avedon is trying to scare me.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 23:33 | View blog reactions

May 14, 2003

Planet X - the mundane truth

If you've been following the Prattle for a while, you will know that tomorrow, or maybe a week tomorrow, or perhaps at some unspecified time in the future, we will be mostly wiped out by a planet we cannot see yet.

Right.

Phil Plait, author of Bad Astronomy, has put together a few pages on The Planet X Saga

Doomsayers seem to pop up every few years. Last time, it was the alignment of the planets that somehow managed not to destroy the Earth in May 2000. Now, we have Planet X. A few people are claiming that a heretofore unknown planet in our solar system is on a very long, elliptical orbit. In May 2003, it will pass close enough to the Earth to affect it in some way, causing it to flip over (what many call a pole shift) and spur many other huge disasters. The end result will be the deaths of many billions of people. There are a large number of web pages, chat rooms and books about Planet X and its horrible effects on the Earth. So the question is, does this planet exist, and will it come by in May 2003 and cause all this horror?
No, and no.

The site goes into a lot of detail and includes links to sources, including primary ones. A simpler summary providing an introduction the the various claims and brief explanations of why they're bollocks can be found on the page The Planet X Saga: The Scientific Arguments in a Nutshell.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 12:09 | View blog reactions

May 13, 2003

Don Croft's Tower Buster

Are you worried about the dangers of mobile phone masts? Don't panic, just make yourself a Tower Buster. According to Metatech, it's Small and cheap, you can easily make these to join in the war to fight negative energy on earth..

The Tower Buster is a 3oz [84ml] paper cup, like the ones for bathroom dispensers, filled with a half/half mix of resin and metal particles into which I insert a single, funky quartz crystal.

Okay, that's a little vague. Fortunately, the instructions for the Chembuster go into more detail:

METAL PARTICLES: Get some metal particles from a machine shop, recycling yard or a place where they saw a lot of aluminum (sign shops and aluminum fabrication shops are good places to look). I use aluminum for weight considerations, but ANY metal will do. Very fine particles (such as filings from a key-making machine) aren't quite as good as ones that will easily go through a window screen & slightly bigger ones are okay. There really is a wide margin of suitability! .

RESIN: I use polyester resin (used to build fiberglass boats) but epoxy also works, as does envirotech resin from www.eti-usa.com (this sets up very quickly, so you need to be proficient with it). (If you are going to construct many of these units, try to purchase your resin in 5 gallon buckets over the internet, possibly from a surfboard or boat manufacturing supply company. ACE hardware for $12.95 per gallon. Home depot gets $24 per gallon for resin.

On a level surface, pour an inch or so of catalyzed resin into the bottom of the bucket and stir in metal particles until the surface is uniform and flat.

The ratio that seems to work is approx. one part resin to one part metal particles.

An alternative to quartz is to use four hæmatite beads, which apparently work better. When you're done, bury it shallowly within about 300m of the offending mast. Not sure why you should do this at all? Well, according to the article, the mobile phone masts are not what they seem:

The main reason for these transmitters is to enforce compliance to the planned, potentially imminent worldwide tyranny, which is determined to decimate the world's population back to the numbers that existed before the industrial revolution so that they can more efficiently manage humanity, whom they have always considered their chattel (See The Georgian Guidestones at www.radioliberty.com/stones.htm)

Which is something to do with Theosophists, Freemasons, Satanists and all the usual suspects.

Tags: , ,

Sometimes the spam filter fails me

For some reason, I have just received a most interesting piece of spam. I have no Spanish, but choice phrases such as propaganda verdaderamente diabólica, vida anticristianos and las masacres contra los cristianos suggest that this is somewhat insane. It appears to be a rant about media bias against Christians, with particular reference to Cuba.

Update: Here's Google's translation of it. I was right - the evils of left-wing media bias covering up Comminist atrocities and promoting anti-Christian lifestyles. It's nuts, and probably one for Avedon.

Continue reading "Sometimes the spam filter fails me"
Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 01:40 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

May 9, 2003

Satanists run amok in Italy

Rome: According to Agenzia Giornalistica Italia (which I think means 'Italy Press Agency'):

At least 9 million people in Italy have suffered crimes linked to satanic sects, whose overall members in the country are 83,000 in 130 different groups. The alarm was launched by the magazine Happy Web, which, in the survey that will be attached to tomorrow's issue, shows figures provided by the interior ministry to describe this reality which is constantly soaring, especially through the internet. Hundreds of 'would-be wizards' use the web to recruit pupils and to carry out brutal crimes: there are websites, newsgroups, and forums dedicated to paedophilia, suicide, homicide, and even cannibalism.

Italy has a population of around 58 million, so that's about 15.5%! There is no sign of the article on the magazine's web site, which still promotes the April edition. SATANIC SECTS IN ITALY INVOLVE 83,000 PEOPLE; 9 MLN 'VICTIMS' - AGI, 8th May 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 21:25 | View blog reactions

April 21, 2003

It's all so simple

Zarathrusta Speaks to tell us about the FINAL BATTLE: Knightly Orders Soon to Perish:

Many deceits and slights of hand have derailed scores of researchers delving into the occult and for this many have failed to uncover the slippery changes of power -- in endless cycles -- between the Hospitallers and the Templars, the Merovingians and the Carolingians, etc.
What most people do not account for in their search for the grail, is that there are two types of volcanoes on Earth, and one of them is very rare and seldom discussed. The basanite type volcano [as opposed to basaltic], is not sulfurous, it is calcitic!

Then there's the virus crystal things: Viruses resemble crystals so just think of affiliated 'creatures' as a mutation spawned from viruses, most probably from outer space originally. Salts. Virions. and, most unusually, the Dutch:

Think lily bulbs and tulip bulbs too, that seem to never die and spring back to life each year. Lily bulbs [e.g. tulips] go back to 2350 BC in written records. Most of them originally were grown at the same latitude worldwide in a circle around the northern hemisphere,linking Holland and Belgium to Japan [and oddly enough, to the Bermuda Triangle, for other reasons though].

Following me so far? Good, because This is how Mankind has been duped and defeated by the Knightly Orders, that are truly much like Insect Orders. It is time that they are booted out of our time-space continuum, forever.

Continue reading "It's all so simple"
Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 21:48 | View blog reactions

Where is Saddam?

UFO Roundup offers one explanation of the whereabout of Saddam Hussain—the aliens have him.

The aliens told Saddam that they could not save his regime. However, because he had protected them from the Americans, they would show their appreciation by helping him and his family escape into space. They would not allow Saddam to fall into the hands of his enemies, the Zionists. A large UFO was summoned to Al-Ouja, and Saddam and his family departed. As to where they have fled, no one can say.

GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS--SADDAM FLED IRAQ IN A CYLINDRICAL UFO? - UFO Roundup, 16th April 2003. (Warning - turn off Javascript first).

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 21:07 | View blog reactions

March 27, 2003

Saddam and the aliens

Even though it's been all over the net, including here, President Bush would not have known about Iraq's alien technology if his father hadn't told him about it because the president of the USA doesn't have a security clearance high enough to be in the know about all the Black Operations projects. These are the weapons Bush is worried about, which is the real reason he's trying to invade. UFOs are Saddam's secret - UFO watchers claim - Stuff, 21st March 2003.

For a more thorough analysis of the role of extraterrestrials in the current conflict, pop over to The Home of Exopolitics.

This site is dedicated to producing high quality research papers that focus on the political implications of what an overwhelming amount of evidence conclusively points to as an Extraterrestrial presence on Earth that is known by clandestine government organizations who keep official knowledge of this presence secret from the general public and elected political officials.

Of greatest interest to the Prattle is the paper An Exopolitical Perspective on the Preemptive War against Iraq. Close to the end we learn that the Columbia disaster was a deliberate use of alien weapons, not by the Iraqis (as per the Prattle's mock conspiracy theory), but by France and Germany as part of a pwer struggle over who has access to extraterrestrial technology.

The fourth piece of circumstantial evidence was the destruction of the Space Shuttle Columbia during its final descent on February 1, 2003, at an approximate height of 38 miles and travelling at Mach 18. One of the astronauts was the first Israeli in Space, Colonel IIan Ramon from the Israeli Airforce. Col Ramon reportedly played a role in the Israeli attack on Iraq's nuclear facility in Osirak in June 1981, and there has been speculation that his mission involved intelligence gathering over Iraq during the Shuttle's orbits. The destruction of Columbia occurred 16 minutes before touch down when its fuel tanks would have been virtually empty. A likely source of the Shuttle's destruction, given the speed and height of the Columbia, would have been some form of attack from an organization or state possessing military capabilities well beyond any terrorist groups and indeed most nations. The likely cause would have been a clandestine government organization that desired to send an important message to its US rivals over the threatened preemptive attack on Iraq.

Unfortunately, the site appears to be devoid of any kind of sensible navigation, but delving through the footnotes of the papers unearths most of it.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 09:10 | View blog reactions

March 13, 2003

Conspiracy corner

Is the indecent haste with which our leaders wish to go to war with Iraq all part of the Jewish conspiracy? At least one US Representative seems to think so, which led to this article, Blaming the Jews, in LiberalOasis.

The short answer is no. The long answer takes us on a trip through the anti-semitic fringe left, Pat Buchanan, the aforementioned Representative's history of Jew-blaming, Bush's non-interest in the Jewish vote and the fundie requirement for the Jews to occupy all of Israel before they convert them during the end-times. It's long, it's complicated, and it's worth the time to read it. See also Liberal Oasis looks at "the Jewish issue" - The Sideshow (Avedon Carol), 13th March 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 20:36 | View blog reactions

February 21, 2003

It was the Jews after all.

I got stuck in the snow in Boston on Monday, so I found nellsterr's parody on alt.conspiracy, Israel KNEW about blizzard!, rather amusing:

Well well well, what's this? It looks like Sharon knew about the snow to hit the East Coast, killing over 50 people, and did NOTHING about it.
Why isn't Herr Shrub and his dictatorship investigating this? Could it be that he's being blackmailed by Sharon and his ZOG machine? Just how much money does has Israel squeezed from him anyway? They must have SOMETHING on the Shrub family.
No doubt the shills will spout their usual garbage at this, but too bad. People are finally starting to realize what's going on out there and it's about time.

February 8, 2003

War is pants

In Australia, 750 naked women formed a love heart surrounding the words NO WAR to protest the presence of Australian troops in the Middle East. (Photo) - Associated Press, 8th February 2003.

Of course, some people see far more into this increasingly common form of protest. BLK KAT told a number of newsgroups, including alt.conspiracy and alt.pagan that the picture showed that Witchs Back Saddam Hussein, and provided a fresh caption: Witches dance naked in unholy circle to try and conjure up a protective spell to keep their warlock hero safe.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies and Willies at 23:51 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

February 4, 2003

At last!

'Burr' has come up with an interesting theory which is very similar to the Prattle's joke conspiracy. In Flash Shuttle (in alt.conspiracy.area51) , he tells us

Rumor has it that the shuttle hit a spaceship in route to Iraq with fresh supplies for the up coming war of the worlds.
   The AP will release the story tomorrow evening. This adds to the story that Saddam has "very" high friends and that God is going to be on his side, he may end up running the world.
Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 18:29 | View blog reactions

This one will run and run...

Did inhabitants of approaching Planet X shoot down Columbia??? asks the charmingly-named FightinWhitey2 on alt.conspiracy.

Is it possible that the orbiting astronauts were far enough away to eyewitness the approaching Planet X??
     Perhaps the Greys didn't want the fact that Planet X is closing in to get back to us earthlings...

Our impending doom at the hands of this mysterious planet has been discussed in the Prattle on 1st January 2003 and 18th August 2002. The Light of Truth wants us to know that Aliens shot down Columbia. Aliens who are capable of interstellar travel, but have no knowledge of how to re-enter a planet's atmosphere.

According to sources within NASA the space shuttle Columbia was shot down by aliens. Officials within the space agency have confirmed the fact that an extra-terrestrial ship was picked up by NORAD while it was rising out of the Earth's atmosphere during the descent of Columbia.
According to the best guesses of NASA officials, the occupants of the alien ship may have misinterpreted Columbias descent as an attack maneuver. NORAD tracking and military satellites picked up an energy signature that registered as a heat spike. This heat spike was believed to be some sort of Directed Energy Weapon(DEW), possibly a laser or some sort of advanced particle beam fired by the alien ship. The beam created by the Directed Energy Weapon struck the underside of the Columbia's left wing.

News of this attack has been classified Top Secret because we couldn't cope with it.

The most obvious reaction described in the report would be a massive world-wide panic that would tear apart civilization at the seams; individuals with religious backgrounds would be electrified, possibly into mass violence, by the discovery of extraterrestrial life while individuals with scientific backgrounds would be devastated when they learn they are not the intellectual masters of the known universe. Unfortunately for NASA, the Pentagon, the White House and the Department of Homeland Security, the cover-up is already falling apart.

No mention of Iraqi involvement though...

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 14:56 | View blog reactions

February 2, 2003

It's all so obvious.

Now they've had time to think, conspiracy theorists are coming up with some impressive 'explanations' of the Columbia accident. AntiGravity Al insists that Columbia shot down by HAARP of our DoD. It seems that Neil Armstrong was secretly a woman:

Man has never been more than 300 miles above the final layer of our atmosphere, the ionosphere, or his head would explode and his blood would boil, without being injected with substitute blood, hydrazine solution. Maybe a few astronauts have done this to their bodies and souls and are sworn to secrecy in a kind of occult cabal. If they ever "leak" the truth, they are dead astronauts.

There were several animals on board, including ants which were being used to test the effects of low gravity on the formation of the holy "manna" of the Bible, which is actually a secretion from the anuses of ants. Because:

One of the shuttle astronauts would have revealed the truth of our space program secrecy, and some of the inner dark secrets of the occult control of our NASA.

And because Bush needs the money to spend on killing Iraqi civilians and taking over the world, he ordered a test of the HAARP ELF weapon and used it to shoot down Columbia. Meanwhile, in It's all becoming clear now, 'qaz' comes up with the same conspiracy I offered yesterday, but takes it much further:

Everyone says there's no way the shuttle could've been shot down.
Well, this is true, considering the technology available.
But, consider this: Saddam has extraterrestial technology, and is using it against us.
Check it out: http://english.pravda.ru/main/2003/01/31/42821.html
Now I know some of you skeptical people will say this is just utter nonsense, but I'm sure those of us like Bushsucks will take this to heart and be able to connect the dots.
The only problem is that if the Iraqis did it, it rules out the possibility of the CIA being involved.....or does it?
Everyone KNOWS the US has been in contact with aliens and has been exchanging technology with them, so once you sit down and figure it all out, you have to admit that the same aliens which the US has been in cahoots with since at least the infamous Roswell incident are probably also working with Saddam.
In other words, both nations are controlled by the same evil alien empire.

This post is of course bullshit, we are reassured at the end, destroying my hope that he actually believed it.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 13:33 | View blog reactions

February 1, 2003

Unsurprising developments

It didn't take long for explanations of the shuttle accident to start appearing on alt.conspiracy. Take this posting - anyone else notice the irony of shuttle disaster? by 'Lady Amanita':

Jewish astronaut
Bits of shuttle blow up and fall to earth over Palestine Texas.
They tell people to stay away from pieces of debris.

I don't think the shuttle really exploded. Something did. But this was the most convenient thing they could come up with to cover up the explosion and attempted landing of a foreign/alien craft. I won't even begin to speculate on the terrestrial/extraterrestrial possibilities. That is not the issue. The fact that is important is the coverup of some nature.

Wonder what they have done/will do with the real shuttle crew?

Could the US government have done it deliberately to increase support for a war? Buckshucks asks Shuttle Shootdown?

May very well be a terrorist act or a Bush Mafia Shootdown to drum up jingo for an Iraq war. After all, Bush used 3000 deaths on 9/11 for his Afghanistan Pipeline and PollBoost War.

If it was terrorism - an Israeli war hero astronaut was on board, and it WAS named Columbia - both motivational symbols. Crash was near Waco, symbolic FBI / CIA city - and VERY near Crawford, Texas-plotting home for Traitor Bush's Mafia.

The two states involved? Texas and Florida - where else? And WHY are they warning everyone to stay away from wreckage?

They make a big to-do out of the altitide - 215,000 feet but pictures I saw showed a MUCH LOWER VEHICLE TRAVELING AT HIGHER THAN NORMAL SPEED. Gassed crew / GPS / Bomb? Just watch the Bush-Spin.

'Kansan', who usually obsesses over German model Heidi Klum, observed Israeli astronaut sacrificed over Palestine, TX:

It then became painfully obvious to me what the Entities had done. Aboard Columbia was the first Israeli astronaut, Ilan Roman. I had written about him in my message Kansan to undergo colonoscopy (January 23, 2003).

I had mentioned that his name is an anagram for Norma (Norma Jean Baker, a.k.a. Marilyn Monroe), and no mar, i.e., no ocean in Spanish. Also, Ilan is a garbled anagram for "alien".

The first parody conspiracy comes from 'antonovitz1' under the heading Let's get started!!:

Israeli was a Mossad agent with a suicidal Masada Complex who sabotaged the shuttle to possible blame Arabs and drum up support for Poor Little Israel which translates in "billions and billions' more of U.S. dollars. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

At least I think it's a parody. But personally, I think it must have been Iraq. It's obvious. We know they've got reverse-engineered extraterrestrial spacecraft (Prattle, 31st January 2003), so obviously they used it to fire weapons of mass destruction at the Shuttle. It all makes sense - it must be true. Nuke Baghdad now!

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 18:46 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

December 2, 2002

One for the conspiracy theorists

The Knights Templar held a conference in East Lothian this weekend. Big Knight out for Templars to mark UN move - Edinburgh Evening News, 2nd December 2002.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 14:59 | View blog reactions

October 22, 2002

The Conspiracy reaches Nigeria

A group of Nigerian Christians has claimed that many of the candidates in a forthcoming election are members of secret cults and have vowed to expose and stop them. Rev. Felix Omobude of the New Covenant Bible Church said the politicians joined the cults in order to be allowed to stand. Christians Vow to Stop Occultic Politicians, This Day (via allAfrica.com), October 22nd 2002.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 01:52 | View blog reactions

October 11, 2002

I knew it would turn out to be the Conspiracy

Some unusual theories are emerging about the Washington D.C. 'sniper' killer.

One theory zipping around the Internet today is that this city's sniper killings are the work of a person or persons methodically etching the outlines of the Celtic cross onto the map. The Celtic cross is a ringed cross, and while it plays a part in Christian theology, it is also a pagan symbol.

Sign of the Celtic Cross: Is a Pattern Emerging to the D.C. Shootings? - The Village Voice, October 10th 2002.

And this posting to alt.conspiracy suggests it's all very complicated:

The first shooting was 2 October, the first day of the annual Satanic celebration of the Hindu Goddess Kali, the fierce Warrior Queen whose mythical role is to destroy the Old Order in order to establish the New Order. The CuttingEgde.org newsletter has pointed out that the original six shots formed a pattern on the ground which resemble the symbol of the Broken Cross, that old symbol by which the Roman Emperor Nero tried to annihilate Christianity almost 2,000 years ago. Satanists today still revere this symbol, and for the same reason.

The poster demonstrates their vast knowledge of tarot - the Death card which is 13th in the deck. 'Death' is numbered 13, but the deck starts with 0, so it's the 14th card in the deck.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 22:40 | View blog reactions

September 18, 2002

Airport symbolism

What on earth is going on at Denver International Airport ? Denver International Airport contains a blatantly Masonic monument. No need to view it from odd angles, nor to probe into incredibly obscure symbolism - it's there. If you ignore the fact that one side has two arms, and another just goes straight up with nothing at right angles to it, then the runways and taxiways are in the shape of a swastika. And there are Germans in the area. Plus, The Queen of England has reportedly been buying up property in Colorado under a proxy. So what does it all mean? Well it means there's a huge secret underground military complex there and it's something to do with Satan-worshipping Nazi Freemasons. And a corrupt politician or two.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 17:15 | View blog reactions

August 26, 2002

Conspiracy du jour

Acccording to this post in alt.conspiracy, the 1995 sadist elimination and torture of reggae radio selector Mikael Enoch of KKUP FM was the work of

Angry New Age Tarot women dedicated to totally changing and transforming society - eradicating the innocent so ruthlessly in order to replace the innocent with New Age friends. Their goal is to rid the world of traditional values, Judeo-Christian morals, and male domination that they so furiously hate and loathe.

The proof is that the deceased's radio show was replaced with a New Age one. And in case you didn't know what's so bad about that, the post concludes:

Let it also be known that most New Age teachings are derived from the Mother of the New Age, Helena Blavatsky, a russian woman who's books Adolf Hitler was absolutely absorbed with. In fact Hitler kept one of her books on his night-stand always, claiming to have read it at least 4 times. There is little doubt as to the origins and followers of the New Age - Hitler, Aquino, LaVey, Crowley, etc. Nothing needs more to be said...

So that's us told, then.

This account does not feature on writer Ras Mikael Enoch's website, but plenty of other stuff does. We learn that the Republican Party is infiltrated to the highest levels by a by a Pedophile Satanic Cult, and that police forces choose their badges carefully:

There are plenty of upside-down stars and circled pentagrams, amongst the gestapo police forces in the U.S., notably California, where they really love the upside-down ones. The same un-godly forces that rape, beat, and would crucify Christ.

Learn too about the U.S. Army's public support, of a whole satanic network that exists within it's own ranks, though we'll have to wait for the upcoming page on the U.S. Army Satanic Child Flesh Ring, and the evil actions of Thelma from Scooby Doo!

Update: A correspondent has pointed me to the Unofficial Ras FAQ. It makes most interesting reading.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 16:46 | View blog reactions

April 19, 2002

Dip me in honey

The Lesbian Studies Institute isn't a terribly worthy project at a progressive educational establishement. No, it's a nonprofit corporation with a mission to track, synthesize and expose the secret, social and political corruption of America's powerful, government financed lesbian mafia, apparently inspired by Nehemiah 4:14:

Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses.

Now, lots of straight men have fantasies about women having sex with women, but this gentleman seems to be traumatised by the idea. Maybe God sent him a vision of Ann Widdecombe and Andrea Dworkin at it. At the Lesbian Studies Institute, we learn that feminism and lesbianism are the same thing and that there is an evil lesbian-feminist conspiracy to outlaw heterosexuality. Lesbians are a sinister force working to destroy America's existing culture:

The way they manipulate the American public is a very complicated set of circumstances, and requires an enormous amount of analytical deliberations to unravel their master plan. And I will say (matter of fact) I broke their code, I unlocked their secrets, I deciphered their manifesto, and you better believe me, it's scary!!

And who is behind this sinister conpiracy? Hilary Clinton, who is bisexual and fools around more than her husband.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 12:34 | View blog reactions

March 5, 2002

Prince William is the Antichrist and reincarnation of King Arthur!

This has something to do with the current trend for pseudo-celtic nonsense, the freemasons, people dying aged 42 (including Elvis), the Euro and Nostradamus. The summer solstice and solar eclipses are apparently important as well. SECRET IDENTITY OF THE ANTICHRIST: PRINCE WILLIAM / KING ARTHUR / 11:11. THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR AND MASONIC CONSPIRACY AND IT'S DARK TIES TO THE BLOODLINE OF THE HOLY GRAIL.

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 22:22 | Comments (9) | View blog reactions

January 5, 2002

Blast from the Past

Way back when, there was a barking mad fundie magazine called Diakrisis. Well, it seems they are alive and well on the web, and still completely barking mad - http://www.diakrisis.org/. Check out The Shape of Things to Come: Global Conspiracy & the World Trade Center which exposes the dark, satanic web of intrigue involving secret conspiracy, political cabals, global elites, extra-terrestrials, UFOs, etc. (Thanks to Val Dobson for the link).

Posted by Feòrag in Conspiracies at 19:04 | View blog reactions