July 13, 2009

Bargain of the Day: a spectacularly ugly doll

Not pretty, but very religious.One of the claims made in favour of religion is that is inspires great art. Today's bargain offers a strong counterpoint to that argument. In case you are wondering, the item in question is a hand-made figurine or, in the words of its creator, Ooak polymer clay mini girl and worship flag. There are many, many more pictures on the auction page, where we learn that this is not a one-off, but part of The Worship Collection from Mar’s little Universe.

Hello from The Mar's little Universe Nursery. This is my 2nd in the worship mini collection. She is a full sculpt of polymer clay with blue glass bead eyes, and light blonde wavy(very out of control) mohair. Her robe is white w/purple hearts, and her flag is swirled white onto purple. She was lightly blushed on the face w/artist acrylic paint(a little gloss on her lips) and lightly sprayed with a satin finish on her body and flag. I also marked her on the bottom. This is totally my creation inspired by my own worship time with flags to my amazing loving God, and like the rest of my creations-no molds either. It is a very true original one of a kind in every way!

Thank you for looking. I know this is not perfect, but she is made with love. Note: This is not a toy..and should not be given to small children.

Presumably because it would frighten them. It's nice to know they're meant to be hearts, too, as I was wondering as to the religious significance of a cowhide dress. And note she says she was inspired by God to create this, so no more of the great art argument, okay?

June 4, 2009

Crochet religious toys

Not wanting to step on the toes of What Not to Crochet, but there are some bizarre religious patterns out there. For example, there's this Venus of Willendorf doll. The same designer has also come up with a really impressive Kali and the Virgin Mary, which is an interesting threesome really.

Another Goddess can be found in the form of Blessed Elements' Goddess for all Seasons, and the patterns for decorating her for spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Those inclined towards East Asian traditions can make themselves a Maneki Neko. And we must not forget Cthulhu.

Not a toy, but really, just read the explanation of this pattern: Goddess Blessed Study Bookmark.

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November 28, 2008

Bargain of the Day: well-priced T-shirts

This amuses me:

fail owned pwned pictures
via Failblog

September 12, 2008

Bargain of the Day: pretty glass shapes

I'm not exactly sure what BioGenesis is, but it looks pretty. The website isn't exactly helpful, either.

BioGenesis is the Birth of Creation. We instill the remembrance of the Process of Creation into a glass, and that glass radiates, or re-educates, its environment with the memory of the Process of Creation. Restoring the memory of this Process within an individual or object creates a living system—it becomes living matter. While this ancient technology has not been on Earth since the days of Atlantis, Ascended Masters recently re-introduced this effective energy to the World....

BioGenesis creates harmony. Harmony is structured quite simply, quite effectively, by strengthening the inherent qualities of a region. And, this is accomplished by enlivening the sequence of Initial Rotations. This is BioGenesis.

The energy placed in the glass items is Genesis™ Energy, an energy which, although many millions of years old, has not been on Earth since the days of Atlantis. Ascended Masters have recently re-introduced this Energy to Earth.

The site includes full list of products, with brief descriptions of what they allegedly do.

The Flame of Genesis directs and focuses the Light of Genesis. It supports the healing of physical traumas, degenerative conditions and diseases, non-functioning organs and many more conditions.

And there is the obligatory piece of patriotic religious tat:

The Bell of Genesis is used to ring Victory over America, to protect America and to protect your home.

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September 4, 2008

Bargain of the Day: a game for your iPhone

Today's bargain is not religious tat, and it's not even available yet. It's even something which, assuming it's supported, is likely to find its way onto the Prattle Towers iPod Touches.

Digital Jokers, a Spain-based developer of mobile games, has announced plans to bring a graphical adventure game based on H.P. Lovecraft’s legendary horror stories to the iPhone. “Call of Cthulhu: The Darkness Within"? is due for release sometime in September, according to the developer...

The game, billed as “the first graphic adventure for mobiles,"? is based on the award-winning role playing game published by Chaosium.

‘Call of Cthulhu’ game headed to iPhoneMacworld, 4th September 2008.

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August 19, 2008

Bargains of the Day: the Kosher iPhone

Red Wolf mailed me a most interesting link over the weekend, highlighting a pair of iPhone apps of interest to observant Jews with a food fetish.

iBlessing ... shows a plate filled with food--no traif, of course. Clicking on the meat, fruit, bread, wine, etc., brings up the blessing you should say over the item in question. The app has additional bonus blessings as well, for events like hand washing and the after meal grace.

The other application is of no use to vegan Jews whatsoever, being to do with the prohibition on eating meat and dairy together.

ParveOMeter, counts down the amount of time until you can eat dairy after meat and vice versa. The milk to meat setting is customisable depending on how kosher you are (zero minutes to an hour), but the meat to milk timer keeps ticking for six whole hours. The app keeps you on track too, since there is no easy way to manually stop the timer.

But there's others, that Gizmodo chose not to highlight! KosherMe is

... a beautiful Bentscher for your iPhone. It puts the Blessings ("Brachot") you should say before and after eating something (including Birkat Hamazon) right at your fingertips.

Additionally KosherMe contains a (growing) number of wonderful prayers and blessings, e.g. the Complete Bedtime Shma, Tfillat Haderech and other useful blessings.

Then there's Siddur:

Take your weekday siddur with you with this feature-packed Jewish prayer book. You'll get Ashkenaz, Sfrard and Sefarad Mizrachi versions of davening, including weekday Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv, standard Brachos and more. Real time Zmanim will give you the prayer times for each day based on your location determined with the iPhone's GPS. A Minyanim database will help you find nearest shul. A Luach or Jewish Calendar will aid you in your prayer services.

... and Tehilim, which is a mobile version of the Psalms. Just remember to not use any of these between sunset Friday and sunset Saturday.

iBlessing and ParveOMeter iPhone Apps Make You a Kosher Keeping MenschGizmodo Australia, 18th August 2008.

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August 7, 2008

Bargain of the Day: Pagan wine

Malta: Okay, so this product is not deliberately marketed at neopagans, but I bet they buy it:

Meridiana Wine Estate has launched its third white wine called Astarte, inspired by the Phoenician goddess of fertility worshipped in Malta during the Punic period. Astarte is based on the Vermentino grape, a Mediterranean wine grape variety which is ideal for Malta's climatic conditions.

New wine toasts fertility goddessTimes of Malta, 7th August 2008. See also Bargain of the Day: L'Chaim!, The Prattle, 18th October 2004.

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June 19, 2008

Bargain of the Day: Jewish tartan

Want to celebrate both your Jewish religious heritage and your Scottishness, both at once? Well, never fear, for Official Jewish Tartan is here.

The official Jewish Tartan is an authentic Scottish tartan created by Heritage Experts and Rabbis...

Initiated by Rabbi Mendel Jacobs (pictured above) - the only Scottish born Rabbi living in Scotland, it's 100% Kosher - being a non wool-linen mix, and as it incorporates many aspects of Scottish-Jewish cultural and religious history, it is the perfect representation of our heritage.

If your heritage is based on mixing up religious and national identities merrily, that is.

In the tartan design we have blue and white the colours of both the Israeli and Scottish flags with the central gold line representing the gold from the Ark in the Biblical Tabernacle and the many ceremonial vessels. The silver is to represent the silver that adorns the Scroll of the Law and the colour red is for the traditional red Kiddush wine.

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December 12, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Holy water

It seems there are a number of companies taking advantage of people gullible enough to buy tap water packaged in religious bottles:

Inspired, perhaps, by vitamin and energy waters, a number of new companies have begun making more explicit claims: their water doesn't just promote good health, it actually makes you good. Holy Drinking Water, produced by a California-based company called Wayne Enterprises, is blessed in the warehouse by an Anglican or Roman Catholic priest (after a thorough background check). Like a crucifix or a rosary, a bottle of Holy Drinking Water is a daily reminder to be kind to others, says Brian Germann, Wayne's CEO. Another company makes Liquid OM, superpurified bottled water containing vibrations that promote a positive outlook. Invented by Kenny Mazursky, a sound therapist in Chicago, the water purportedly possesses an energy field that Mazursky makes by striking a giant gong and Tibetan bowls in its vicinity. He says the good energy can be felt not just after you drink the water but before, when you're holding the bottle.

The most recent entry in this niche is Spiritual Water. It's purified municipal water, sold with 10 different Christian labels. The Virgin Mary bottle, for example, has the Hail Mary prayer printed on the back in English and Spanish. Spiritual Water helps people to stay focused, believe in yourself and believe in God, says Elicko Taieb, the Florida-based company's founder who was formerly in the pest-control business. All three companies give a portion of their profits to charity.

Bless This Bottled WaterNewsweek, 17th December 2007 (thanks, Novice Nun the Wiser OPI).

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December 4, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Chanukah miscelleny 2007

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah, so it's too late to buy any of this year's delightful items from JewishSource. Here are the Prattle's favourites, though.

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October 15, 2007

Bargain of the Day: the Devil's OS

No, not Windows Vista, but Ubuntu Satanic Edition (Linux for the Damned).

Ubuntu SE is not currently a distro, it's more a series of themes to transform the look of Ubuntu. You must first download and install one of the standard Ubuntu variants and then upgrade to Ubuntu SE. Don't worry; you can easily change your system back if you intend to recant...

Ubuntu Satanic Edition is available for both Ubuntu Edgy 6.10 and Feisty 7.04, including both Gnome (Ubuntu) and KDE (Kubuntu) variants. We suggest installing over Ubuntu Christian Edition, but the standard Ubuntu will do fine.

(via Happy Linux Thoughts, and the Bulldada Newsblog).

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Posted by Feòrag in Occult Tat and Religious Tat at 16:25 | View blog reactions

September 25, 2007

Bargain of the Day: bits of cloth

Today's bargain is only a little bit overpriced, being free:

In a very modern take on the age-old circulation of saintly bones and torn clothing, thousands of devotees of Pope John Paul II are going online to apply for certified shreds of his white cassocks as the late pontiff heads swiftly towards sainthood.

Supplied without charge, the circular dots of cotton, measuring about 4mm in diameter, come pressed into a postcard bearing a photo of John Paul on one side and a prayer on the other. They are available by clicking a link on the website of the diocese of Rome and filling in the email application.

The tiny dots of cloth have been available on request since the pope's death in 2005, but when a religious wires service published details on September 13 of the online offer, 5,000 applications promptly poured in, said Don Marco Fibbi, spokesman for the diocese.

Now available online: Pope John Paul II's robesThe Guardian, 24th September 2007.

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June 26, 2007

Bargain of the Day: The Baby Jesus

France: The Baby Jesus has returned... as a cured meat product.

The Baby Jesus

You know you want some.

Baby Jesus has returned… - oranchak.com, 26th June 2007 (via BoingBoing).

May 22, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Christian crotchless panties

Many fetishists are perfectly at ease with their inclinations. Not for them the guilty secret life. They go to clubs, play with like-minded people and are generally happy with themselves. Others are less well adjusted, but rather than hide in a closet, they find bizarre excuses to try and justify their kink. For one group of perverts, their excuse is that their imaginary friend told them to do it and, as you might expect, there are online shops which provide for them, just like there are for the sane fetishist. This morning, Red Wolf messaged me about the knickers for sale at the Christian Domestic Discipline Store. For example:

Delicate Lady Crotchless Pantaloons
These split-crotch pantaloons trimmed in eyelet and your choice of ribbon color will make you feel sexy and cherished all at once.

They'd probably send your husband running to the nearest brothel, but I can see that the products might have some use. Historic costumers might like to note that the styles are pretty close to those worn in the corset era, and they are available with authentic drawstring. Regular corset wearers already know what these knickers are for really, but unfortunately, they only come in Demure White, Delicate Pink, Baby Blue, and similar crap colours. No Bondage Black, alas.

May 16, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Falwell tat

He's been dead for less than a day, and already eBay is flooded with Jerry Falwell related memorabilia. Much of it is just stuff like signed books, but some of it is interesting. Carat Queen was impressively quick off the mark in producing this Jerry Falwell Memorial tribute magnet

The wags were quick to respond to his demise too. For example, you can buy One Pound of Lard. Own a Portion of Jerry Falwell ! (Not his ubiquitous lard, but rather lard JUST LIKE HIS!):

Up for auction is one pound of lard - exactly like the lard which composed Jerry Falwell. Place this tub of lard high on a shelf or on your mantle, should you need a tub of lard to look-up to. Place this lard on the back of a donkey or pig should you need a tub of lard to mindlessly follow.

The perfect keepsake with which to remember him.

Or how about a nice painting in his memory? Perhaps JERRY FALWELL IN HELL - acrylic painting! with Satan! fits the bill?

This is your chance to own what is probably the first contemporary art painting of religious-right extremist JERRY FALWELL to be done following his death earlier today (May 15th). This is also a very rare chance to purchase Jeffrey Scott Holland (me)'s primitive neo-expressionist artwork at such a low price on eBay, thanks to the good people at Superfrothco.

The painting isn't pictured here because I'm working on it right now, even as we speak.

It's acrylic on bristol and measures 8.5x11. It will portray Rev. Falwell arriving in Hell, surrounded by flames, and coming face to face with Satan, who's laughing hysterically, not unlike the way he often does in a Jack Chick comic.

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April 21, 2007

Bargain of the Day: porn, obviously

I can't read Spanish, but I know for sure what's being spammed to me today. But is the Bible an illegal drug, pornography or pirate software, because we know that's all that spammers advertise. The first spam came in at 06.35 this morning. Just in case I didn't get the message, it was repeated at 08:24, 16:02, 17:53 and 21:30. A look at the spam shows that it offers lots of Catholic clip art too—so why send it to my antipope.org address?

Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: porn, obviously"

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Bargain of the Day: Witch groping game

Japan can be a little odd at times, as a recently announced game for the Nintendo DS shows. In ??????魔女?判? you play a teenage boy who gets to detect witches by the time-honoured method of sexually harassing them.

But it seems that some people are trying to kick up more of a fuss about Matthew Hopkins Jr. and have resorted to faking screenshots to make it look more pornographic than it is [日本語. English language explanation here].

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat and Willies at 13:19 | View blog reactions

March 26, 2007

Bargain of the Day: cuddly goddesses

Feel safe at night with your very own Goddess Blessing Doll:

Triple goddess dollsSoft bodied Goddess dolls are popular with modern fabric artists and come in all sorts of different forms.Goddess dolls are spiritually inspired by an idea, feeling or concept etc..

My Goddess dolls are shaped in a traditional Goddess form, to evoke her gentle, powerful and healing spiritual energies. They are unique in having a pocket incorporated into the design into which names, hair, herbs, affirmations, spells, crystals, prayers etc…can be placed, to allow her to be used in healing, magical or spiritual workings.

My dolls are intended to connect you to higher spiritual energies as you work with them and create a relationship with the mother Goddess.

I work with my Goddess Blessing doll by writing a wish or affermation on some paper, for example 'May peace prevail on the earth' and placing it within the pocket with a small crystal and a few apropriet herbs (wrapped securely in tissue for easy removal) I then take the doll and channel healing energies and/or chant the affermation as I hold her. If sending healing to someone, I will place their name in the pocket and use the doll as you would a poppet in sympathetic magic or Reiki/spiritual distance healing. There are many ways you can use the Doll, but they are designed to be used only with positive, healing and loving intent.

It seems that neopagans can speak Christian English, too.

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March 23, 2007

Loony neopagan nonsense: the motherlode

Thank you spiritof1976 for introducing me to the LJ community dot_pagan_snark. Some highlights:

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March 22, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Astrology cookbook

Vanity presses will famously publish anything, and their latest offering is Dining by the Stars by Maija Dambis Collins.

For each astrological sign, Collins interprets characteristics in five areas: personal habits; love and romance; the role in the family; circle of friends and colleagues; and seasonal celebrations. The chefs studied this information along with an established list of foods and condiments derived from ancient astrologers who analyzed specific influences for each zodiac sign. Original recipes were then created for each of the five areas listed above. The result: culturally diverse culinary masterpieces that are individually designed to appeal to specific astrological signs.

She must've relied on the stars, rather than Google, when she chose scammers over a respectable self-publishing outfit like Lulu)

Not that failing to rip-off hopeful authors is a guarantee against lunacy, of course.

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Posted by Feòrag in Occult Tat and Religious Tat at 13:36 | View blog reactions

February 28, 2007

Bargain of the Day: religious mobile phones

The Wall Street Journal has an interesting article about special religious models of phones, and I have to say that I sympathise with the rabbi who requested a phone suitable for Ultra-Orthodox Jews:

Cellphone companies, at the time, had started to load their products with entertainment features, and the rabbi wanted none of it. He was in search of a phone without Internet capabilities or text messaging. He didn't want cameras, music downloading, or anything else that could distract the pious. He was looking for a device that could make and receive calls. Period.

The article goes on to discuss Christian ringtones, and other tacky services aimed at Christians, then onto phones which include features useful to Muslims:

Dubai-based Ilkone Mobile Telecommunication in 2005 launched a phone in the Middle East with an internal compass that tells users the direction of Mecca, where Muslims face when they pray. Ilkone, which comes from the Arabic word for "universe," also equips its phones with a Hijri, the Gregorian calendar, and alerts users to prayer times with an alarm that features an actual muezzin's voice. It also has a complete version of the Quran, with an English translation.

Me, I want a phone which can be used anywhere in the world, is good at phoning and texting, with the ability to store lots of numbers, has no camera, no Microsoft and no other extraneous crap. Is this too much to ask? Oh yes, and a loop from which to hang Hello Kitty dangly things.

New Cellphone Services Put God on the LineWall Street Journal, March 26th 2006. (Thanks, Fluff the Plush Cthulhu)

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February 20, 2007

Bargain of the Day: knackered telly

I have this strange feeling that the vendor of today's bargain is not being entirely serious in their description of their wares, but the Miracle TV! Permanent TBN Phone Number Cures Ailments! does come with a video!

Up for sale here is 1 Miracle Television set guaranteed to cure any ailments and perform all miracles*. Operates without electricity, as seen above.

Miracles include but are not limited to:

Water to wine.

Parting of large bodies of water.

Produce manna from heaven.

Manifestation of fiery chariots.

Multiply loaves and fishes.

Kill Giants.

Walk on water.

Heal the sick and raise the dead.

Bring peace to all nations.

True story; We turned the TV off, but TBN's phone number remained! Is it a sign? YES. It is the 21st centuries' seraph! I had a vision. I must sell this TV set so that it may be released unto the World. For me to keep it would bring a curse upon my household.

Works great. Controller included.

*not responsible for any statements made nor the repercussions of said televisions actions

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February 13, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Jesus' LJ

Today's bargain is a rather unique diary, in so far as something of which there are multiple copies can be unique. MY HANDWRITTEN JOURNAL: JESUS APPEARED TO ME & TOLD ME THE FUTURE, CANCER'S CURE, HEAVEN'S LOCATION & MORE contains interesting views on astronomy, immunology and international politics. It's also decorated with a load of pentagrams.

Diary containing messages from JesusThe winner of this auction will receive my handwritten journal where I have described the four messages of Jesus Christ who has appeared to me. Feel free to ask questions via eBay.

JESUS HAS SPOKEN AND MY JOURNAL IS THE DOCUMENTATION OF THIS WORLD EVENT. The most important message is Jesus' foretelling of the future. The future is up to us. We are on the brink of destruction. We must act quickly. Politicians must take notice! IF WORLD PEACE DOES NOT COME BEFORE 2021 HUMANS WILL BECOME EXTINCT.

Jesus revealed four specific things to me:

#1: The precise location of Heaven

#2. The cure for cancer

#3. The solution for the achievement of world peace.

#4. He revealed the future to me.

I will briefly discuss each of the four revelations now.

#1. THE PRECISE LOCATION OF HEAVEN: When we die we will become stars... Literally stars! Jesus Christ is our Earth's sun. That is why we are His... Because we come on one of His planets. When we die and become stars we, too, will be blessed by wonderful special planets which orbit us and bring us great happiness. God the Creator is also a star... The first and the greatest. Two thousand years ago Jesus said I am the Light of the World. Jesus now wants us to understand that this means He is the Sun and that when we die, we will become stars too.

#2. THE CURE FOR CANCER: The cure for cancer is actually the knowledge of the precise CAUSE OF CANCER. We already know the cures for cancer, mainly prevention and early detection. Also chemotherapy, radiation, surgery and alternative medicine. We also are acutely aware of the roles of carcinogens, environment, heredity and diet. But what is the PRECISE AND SOLE CAUSE OF CANCER? CANCER OCCURS WHEN WE EAT OUR OWN FLESH. (Two very simple examples of eating our own flesh are biting our cuticles or biting our lips.) When a piece of our own flesh is digested, microscopic fragments of our own DNA enter the bloodstream. If a piece of this DNA enters a vulnerable cell, the nucleus of the cell identifies the 'food' as 'self' and this causes a 'circuit' to be blown in the nucleus. When (and if) that cell goes to divide, it does so in a haphazard fashion, dividing into four instead of into two and the mutation continues. There is an interesting correlation to Christianity here. Jesus told us to take His flesh and eat it. Now he wants us to know not to eat our own flesh in any way because it is deadly.

#3. THE SOLUTION FOR THE ACHIEVEMENT OF WORLD PEACE: This is so simple! According to Jesus, the way to achieve world peace is this: An AMERICAN president has to set a goal for WORLD PEACE BEFORE 2021. (President Kennedy did something similar when he set a goal for the USA to land a man on the moon in the 60's.)

#4. JESUS REVEALED TO FUTURE TO ME: The future will go one of two ways: If world peace is not achieved before 2021 the world will destroy itself. If world peace is achieved before 2021, there will be no more natural disasters. Notice that Jesus did not say that HE would destroy the world. Rather, we will destroy it ourselves with our greed and hatred.

Jesus appeared to me on March 17, 1984. He appeared to me in my dorm room at Holy Name Hospital School of Nursing in Teaneck, New Jersey. I was 28 years old at the time. He instructed me to try spread His solution for the achievement of world peace and to work towards it. He instructed me to try to tell people the precise location of Heaven. And he instructed me to try to share the cure for cancer. BUT He told me NOT TO TELL ANYONE He had appeared to me until after the dawn of the new millennium when I would receive a sign. The sign would be a huge natural disaster. For a brief while I thought the events of September 11, 2001 were the sign that I should come forth to tell people that Jesus had appeared to me. However, I knew that Jesus had said it would be a NATURAL DISASTER so I remained silent. Then the tsunamis of December 2004 hit. I have been trying to 'go public' since then.

I have decided to go with Ebay in an effort to spread the messages of Jesus.... The winner of this auction will be given my hand written journal which tells the story of Jesus' visit and the messages He revealed to me..

GOOD LUCK BIDDING AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

I am not claiming that this journal is the only one in existence. As of October 4, 2006, I have sold two journals. Each contains the same story, yet each one is unique.

Update: It seems the producer of these journals has a web site.

February 12, 2007

Bargain of the Day: God up your bum

Sometimes I will encounter something of interest while browsing a totally unrelated site. Today was one of those days. How could I possibly expect that innocently reading Pharynugla's commentary on Gillian McKeith, could possibly lead to a Christ-centered, health education ministry offering wholeness of body, mind and spirit?

It all started with a comment by Zeno: You may have years of "unexpressed" meals in your digestive tract, but never fear! Vierra will give you a Christian colonic.. My ears pricked up, naturally, and there was a link: Garbage in, garbage out!. And so, eventually, with the help of a well-known search engine, I found my man.

Welcome to Modern Manna online, the official website for Danny Vierra—founder of the Almighty Cleanse. We are a Christ-centered, health education ministry offering wholeness of body, mind and spirit. We offer a 10-day live-in program at BellaVita Lifestyle Center. We also offer the building blocks for excellent health, the latest information from articles, books, audios and DVDs for simple, alternative health remedies, which include lifestyle changes, vegetarian cooking, detoxifying and cleansing, juicing and more...

Optimal health starts with a seasonal cleanse. Almighty Cleanse™ is a powerful yet gentle 2-part system to help regulate and purify your digestive tract. This easy-to-use cleansing system helps expel impurities and fecal matter that build-up on your intestinal walls. One of the most concentrated natural purification systems available, Almighty Cleanse can work in only 7 days.

Yes, Almighty Cleanse. It's really called that. Once your digestive system has been dosed in this holy water, Modern Manna can help you keep it sparkly with herbal concoctions, including Anti-Plague Formula.

The recipes look pretty good, though. There again, you can say that about Gillian McKeith.

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February 11, 2007

Bargain of the Day: job lot of religious job lots

Today's first bargain is particularly short on literacy, the description being written in a dialect of Christian English: Lot of 48 Angel worry prayer worship God faith stones. There's not much of a description beyond that. Once the auction is over, click the image below for a good look at the massive range of designs available.

An angel-god-faith thingimabob

But today is the day for religious job lots. You could stock up on 144 Christian Beads - Asst Styles [archived image], 48 wooden crosses, 24 Holy Bible keyrings [archived image], a Wholesale Lot Of (50) Cut Pennies - Angel Shape [archived image], 12 Beaded Cross Necklace Craft Kits [archived image], or even 144 God Rocks Coins [archived image].

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:46 | View blog reactions

January 6, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Jewish adventure game

The Shivah from Wadjet Eye Games is not your normal graphical adventure game.

A rabbi of a small, declining congregation on the Lower East Side is close to losing faith in God when he is informed that a somewhat disreputable congregant has died and left his small estate to the synagogue. Is this a blessing or a curse?

This narrative serves as the unlikely background plot of a recent video game, "The Shiva: A Rabbinical Adventure of Mourning and Mystery," the first to feature a rabbi as its superhero.

Unlike a certain fundie Christian game, The Shivah is a peaceful affair, where you progress through talking, not fighting.

To start, Stone attends the congregant's shiva, the traditional Jewish mourning ritual; and, like a Talmudic scholar, he begins to question the widow. To help the players along, the game provides a Yiddish dictionary for words like "shiksa." In this game, words replace weapons. What moves the rabbi forward in his quest is a Talmudic line of questioning rather than the more typical fighting that often propels video games.

Questioning is the rabbi's power, said Gilbert. Talmudic tradition is often one of questioning and analysis, and typically a rabbi answers questions with more questions.

In one scene, the protagonist is attacked by a mugger with a knife. But violence won't help the rabbi win; the only way to keep him at bay is by asking him questions.

A rabbi as superhero - the wacky premise of a hit video gameJerusalem Post, 4th January 2007.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:18 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 3, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Papal ball

Today's bargain is a golf ball, but it's no ordinary golf ball—it's a special HOLE IN ONE BALL - Pope Benedikt XVI

A golf ball, with tenuous Papal connectionOn 19 APRIL 2005 I have at hole 5 in my homeland club WENDELINUS GOLFPARK in SANKT WENDEL with this ball (Titleist 1) a HOLE IN ONE on my private round played. This course is only 116m long, one stands somewhat above the green and has a beautiful view of the offshore water hazard (see picture).

I experienced only later that at the Pope Benedikt XVI. (civil Joseph Alois Ratzinger) was selected on this day (19 APRIL 2005) to the successor by Johannes Paul II.

I still might mention that me in APRIL (at the 11th) Birthday has just like Joseph Alois Ratzinger who was born on APRIL 16th.

Spares a little crazy the whole!?

I am not strictly religious, but me whole history already to thinking brought.

The vendor is not a native English speaker, so for once I'm not going to take the piss out of the language.

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December 23, 2006

Bargain of the Day: USB voodoo doll

Windows crashed yet again? Infected with another virus? Well, a forthcoming product demonstrated recently at the Washington, D.C. chapter of Dorkbot might help, and it should be cheaper than a Macintosh:

USB voodoo doll in actionGareth described it as an electrified plushy that spits out nastygrams onto a computer screen whenever you stab it with a straight pin.

I suspect it'll be a rather popular device.

Voodoo Wordbookofjoe, 21st December 2006.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:43 | View blog reactions

September 17, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Rosh Hashanah Music Box

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is on the 23rd, so what better gift than this Rosh Hashanah Inlaid Wood Music Box?

[Rosh Hashanah Inlaid Wood Music Box]Stately music box features an 18-movement mechanism that plays Hava Nagila. Lid is decorated with a classical looking torah

Our Price : $125.00

In Stock: Yes

If you need some time to save up, no worries. You could always buy a Chanukkah Inlaid Wooden Music Box instead. This one has a picture of a dreidel on it and plays Maoz Tzur.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:26 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

September 8, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Rider-Waite Tarot

Bargains have been thin on the ground lately, but today you can bid on a Rider-Waite tarot pack. What? Not weird enough for you? But these cards are special because it's a Tarot Card Deck From Dead Salem Mass Witch.

Possessed Or Bad Karma? We Will Let You Decide

Hello, And welcome to another auction brought to you by Power Mix Fm

After our listeners have heard that we were running some crazy ebay auctions we recieved a phone call from cindy in Salem Mass. and her phone conversation gave myself and the producers all chills up our spines, for that reason we are going to tell you her story and the reason why we are selling these cards for her.

It was 2 weeks befor Halloween when she stumbled upon a yard sale next to an old witch cemetary, she sensed that something on the table was eager for her to buy as she walked closer to the table a deck of Tarot cards fell onto of her foot the lady running the sale snickered in the background and approached her and asked if she needed help and out of the blue cindy said ill take these.

after the transaction the lady told her that these cards belonged to her daughter that was evolved in witch craft for 5 years but died by a freak accident in her apartment as cindy gulped and was just about to change her mind, her cell phone ringed and she had to leae fast.

Later that night cindy arrived home and tried to play with the cards but could not figure it out.

Night 1: about 2am cindy woke up to a loud scream of a female screaming for help and then as the girls tone got louder she could hear a man in a language that almost sounded german as cindy put it, She quickly went to the couch and slept there for the night.

Night 6: same time around 2am cindy heard the same as befor and once again slept on the couch,

and this would happen every 5 days, since then cindy has moved and had the tarot cards stored in a storage facility.

Untill today Power Mix FM has taken the cards for cindy and we are listing them here on ebay for hopes that someone in this world may know how to handle this type of deal.

Or maybe you are just a collector of ghostly objects and this would help with your collection.

Power Mix Fm has no way to verify this story besides what cindy has told us but we will keep the Deck of cards on the studio desk so during our 2AM dj sessions we will see if our DJ's experience the same scenario as cindy did.

All questions may take upto 24 hours to respond as we will forward them to cindy's home email address.

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September 1, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Jesus perfume

The Great Old Ones are not the only deities to have perfumes blended in Their honour. Take His Essence™ for example:

His Essence™ is a South Dakota company inspired by Psalm 45:8 - All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia... The Bible verse refers to the garments of the Messiah when He returns. We carefully combine these fragrances and the result is a scent, which serves as a reminder of His Presence.

Products include candles, hand lotions and music (which presumably doesn't smell of Jesus).

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:59 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 30, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Cthulhu perfume

Fed up of all those happy flowery smells that the big perfume companies want you to smell of? Well, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab might have the perfect aroma for you in their A Picnic in Arkham range. Take this as an example:

CTHULHU
If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings... It represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence...

A creeping, wet, slithering scent, dripping with seaweed, oceanic plants and dark, unfathomable waters.

Sounds just the thing to wear with my Cthulhu scarf and Cthulhu hat!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 01:25 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 27, 2006

Bargain of the Day: JesusOS

Ubuntu Christian Edition is evidence that Linux has become spectacularly easy to use. I will mostly let it speak for itself:

Along with the standard Ubuntu applications, Ubuntu Christian Edition includes the best available Christian software. The latest release contains GnomeSword, a top of the line Bible study program for Linux based on the Sword Project. There are several modules installed with GnomeSword including Bibles, Commentaries, and Dictionaries.

Ubuntu Christian Edition also includes fully integrated web content parental controls powered by Dansguardian. A graphical tool to adjust the parental control settings has also been developed specifically for Ubuntu Christian Edition. These features are truly what sets Ubuntu Christian Edition apart.

I suppose at least it's one market that won't ever set permissions to 666, but what have the publishers done to protect the user from all those daemons running in the background?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 09:57 | Comments (5) | View blog reactions

August 18, 2006

Bargain of the Day: free loony fundie nonsense!

Noel Black of Seattle newspaper The Stranger has discovered how to get free stuff out of Focus on the Family, thereby depriving them of money.

Few people know that Focus on the Family—the powerful evangelical Christian para-church based in Colorado Springs—will give you, absolutely free of charge, books, CDs, and DVDs. Usually people pay for these products, and the millions of dollars raised helps Focus on the Family produce yet more books and CDs featuring Dr. James Dobson and other Focus "experts." (Focus on the Family's experts, when they're not chatting on the phone with Karl Rove, run around the country teaching people how to stop being so gay and when it's appropriate to kick their kids' asses.)

Not only does ordering free stuff from Focus on the Family—sent to myself or people I don't like—satisfy a deeply juvenile impulse, it has the added benefit of taking money directly out of homo-hater Dobson's pocket. The one drawback is that getting free shit from Focus on the Family is a tad time consuming and a bit tricky, but it's well worth the effort.

Shopping Spree: How to Get Free Books, CDs, and Movies from Focus on the Family—Thereby Taking Money out of the Pockets of Anti-Gay Bigots—in 12 Easy Steps,—The Stranger, 17th August 2006. (via Yonmei)

Update: Alas, you are no longer able to give a zero donation (see A Voice of Sanity's comment below). Has anyone checked to see if $0.01 is acceptable, or what the minimum is?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:03 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

August 1, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Holy Toast!

Holy images on mundane objects are regularly featured on Bargain of the Day, including the infamous Virgin Mary toast, but today, we offer you the opportunity to experience the miracle for yourself with this miracle bread stamper - Press the stamper into an ordinary slice of bread, roast it, and behold a miracle!.

Okay, I admit it. I just bought one of these in Melbourne.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 07:17 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

April 22, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Scripture Solitaire

Bored with solitaire, well Curry K. Software have added a whole new dimension with their Scripture Solitaire.

Scripture Solitaire transforms the game of Solitaire into a word game that helps players become familiar with Bible verses. Instead of the normal card rank (King, Queen, etc.), each card has a short phrase. When the phrases are all put together in order, they form a verse.

But Scripture Solitaire does more than simply merging the Bible with a card game. In addition to entertaining and uplifting, it serves as a powerful aid to learning and memorizing scriptures. You'll also discover that Scripture Solitaire's unique game play is conducive to meditating deeply on the verse you are playing.

Available for the Macintosh and Windows for a mere $14.95, and a demo too, but surely a gateway to gambling?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:10 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

March 2, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Christian simulacra

Today's must-have bargains are more examples of over-active imaginations at work. First up is JESUS FACE ON A LOG christian bible catholic religious. We are urged PLEASE HELP HIT THE PULSE " CLICK WATCH IT NOW".

[Jesus log, and half a picture of Jesus]PLEASE CLICK ON YOUR WATCH IT NOW TO GET IT ON THE PULSE

This is the way i found it in the desert. This log is not touched painted or anthing like that i cant believe it. Its a weird story me and my kid were in the desert and i was talking to him about a problem we as a family were having, around a camp fire. And my kid said ask God. 10 second lateri was picking up a log with JESUS on it

Im not a very religious person, But my kid is. The prayer was answered and the log needs a new home. If your prayer is answered pass it on after.

PLEASE CLICK ON YOUR WATCH IT NOW TO GET IT ON THE PULSE

Bid a penny at a time. I promise this is real and not like some piece of toast with the big man grilled into it

It's the bit on the right of the picture, rather than the side that looks like the conventional representation of Jesus. Bidding is at $1.01 (US) right now, but there's another 9 days to go. A little more expensive are these Images Of Mother Mary & Christ. They are presumably not of interest to fundies, as this pair of masterpieces was apparently created 210,000,000 years ago.

[Jesus and Mary, innarock]Images Of Mother Mary and Christ in a 210 million year old rock. READ EVERTHING VERY CAREFULLY. 1) ONE OF A KIND. 2) IT IS ORGINAL) 3) ESTIMATED @ 210 MILLION YEARS OLD. 4) ONLY SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY PLEASE. 5)YOU WILL EXCEPT THE C.O.D. CONDITIONS, NO IF ANDS OR BUTS.) THIS IS ORIGINAL AND MADE BY MOTHER EARTH AND ALL SEE MOTHER MARY AND HER BACK SIDE OR MOTHER MARY AND HER SON JESUS CHRIST. I WISH THE BEST TO ALL BUT MOST OF ALL THE WORLD MUST SEE THIS. GOOD LUCK.

location found in Cerro Cuadrado, Patagonia, Argentina

Age: Jurassic (Approx. 210 Million Years Ago)

WILL CONSIDER A SERIUS BEST OFFER

I've turned the photograph through 90 degrees so you can easily see what miraculous object is worth the US $1,000,000.00 (US) Buy It Now price.

February 24, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Astrological melodies

[Harvey Sid Fisher sings about Aries]Harvey Sid Fisher describes himself as an actor and screenwriter, but he has yet another talent - he has penned a set of twelve songs, one for each sign of the Zodiac, and you can buy them from his web site, either on a CD or a video. Or you could if his site was working properly--the links to buy the product don't work, and I cannot even tell you how much this wonderful item will be. How can you possibly live without hearing him sing his compositions, accompanied by a Kate Bush wannabe dancer gyrating in the background? How could be be so cruel as to make us miss such lyrical beauty as:

BUSY AS A BEE ON THE MOVE ALL THE TIME
CAN'T SIT BY THE FIRE I NEED MOUNTAINS TO CLIMB
I SET THE PACE AND I MUST WIN THE RACE
OUT IN FRONT OF THE REST CAUSE I AM THE BEST
SHOULD I LOSE THERE'S NO SHAME
I'LL FIND SOMEONE TO BLAME

Not to worry, someone has posted the video for Aries to YouTube.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:37 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

February 15, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Mind Control Brain Washing Made Easy for Dummies

United States: Just when we thought we'd either broken QuePirate or he'd had a run-in with authorities, we discover that he just doesn't love us any more. He does, however, still have quite the thing for eBay.

This time he does appear to be offering a real item, usually it's something that only QuePirate can see.

Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Mind Control Brain Washing Made Easy for Dummies"

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February 4, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Christian sex aids

Whollylove isn't your normal sex shop selling cheesy lingerie, love beads and vibrators. No, it's a Christian sex shop selling cheesy lingerie, love beads and vibrators, aka Products and Advice celebrating God's fantastic gift of sex within Christian marriage.

Sex is a great gift from God — we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse! All our products and images on this site are selected on two criteria: sex in marriage is based on wholly love (so we have not selected hurtful products), and the Biblical portrait of marital sex as a reflection of God's holy love for us (so we have avoided inappropriate images wherever possible).

(Thanks, tjc).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:09 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

January 29, 2006

Bargain of the Day: Yet another rock

The Virgin Mary seems to have a bit of a fetish about stones, and today's bargain is the third such item we have featured. This time, the auction is for The VIRGIN MARY Stone!!, as the vendor seems unaware that the object is not unique.

[Mary, in a stone]A silvery blue stone bares the image of the Virgin Mary

This natural wander miraculously bares the image of the Virgin Mary and her beautiful shrowd. The stone is a silvery blue and white (A true eye catcher). See picture.

A finish has been applied to protect the natural beauty of this wonderful stone. The stone measures approximately 9" tall by 7" wide 3"thick and weighs 12 pounds. Silver colored stand included.

Thank you for looking.

Note the use of that interesting dialect known as Christian English. Previous similar bargains included a lump of rock and a pebble.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:51 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

January 8, 2006

Bragain of the Day: bit of fruit

Today's very special offer is allegedly an Apple Guardian Angel Is It A Miracle, A Sign From God?

[a bit of apple that looks like an angel if you squint]Yesterday I was eating a red delicious apple thinking that all is right in my world when I saw that a small piece of the peeling had dropped from the apple. When I picked it up, I noticed that the shape was a remarkable likeness to what I have always imagined a guardian angel to look like. I could not bring myself to put it in the trash thinking that there must be a reason that it appeared to me like this. Some sort of sign? I am wondering about the significance of the apple (considering what happened with Eve in the garden). I don't know as much about religion and miracles as most people know. But, I do know that right now my life is going pretty well. I am very fortunate to not have any real complaints and do not feel in need of a miracle or divine intervention. So I am thinking that maybe I am simply being used as a messenger and that there may be someone out there who might want this apple angel for their own. It is a small angel as you can see in the picture as compared to a penny. I am willing to pass it on if someone out there wants it. I taped it to a piece of paper using scotch tape. I have not done anything else to preserve it.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:46 | View blog reactions

December 21, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Ho Ho Aaaarrghhhh!

[Santa Cthulhu]Not so much a Bargain, as a hint as to what I'd like to see in my stocking in four days from now: a Mini Santa Cthulhu Plush (scroll down). In fact, practically everything on this page will do, except the first six items, the hand puppet, and Cthulhu the King, all of which I have. Perhaps not the hat either, because I think my own design is better (and I know it is definitely warmer and looks less like something worn by neds from Bathgate). The Miskatonic University Graduate Cthulhu Plush is particularly appealing. I wish that had been available way back in the mesolithic, when I finished university.

Okay, maybe four days is a bit soon. I can wait till Hogmanay.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:22 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

December 14, 2005

Bargain of the Day: tentacle warmer

Today's bargain is a totally unique Cthulhu Dildo Cthozy (He'll make you shout IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!!):

[knitted Cthulhu dildo cozy]Yes, from the deranged mind (I prefer the term "Mad Genius") that brought you the Flying Spaghetti Monster Dildo Cozy, comes a new evil. A new evil who will keep your tentacle warm while he waits for the stars to align.

100% acrylic, the Great Old One is suitable for those with wool allergies, and is technically washable, if relatively fragile. Putting him in a pillowcase, although it's an insult to the Elder Gods, might be appropriate.

This is a one-of-a-kind art piece, so I will not be making more. Get it now, or you'll have to wait until he comes to eat and enslave us for a second chance.

IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:31 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

December 6, 2005

Bargain of the Day: A very scary solstice

So, you know that Christmas isn't even slightly Christian, but those twee fluffy bunny Pagans have no idea how to have a good time. May we at Prattle Towers recommend A Very Scary Solstice—the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society Solstice carol album and songbook.

We returned to the studio with a bigger-than-ever cast of actors and professional singers. Thrill to the magnificent sounds of the Dagon Tabernacle Choir. Marvel at the exsquisite harmonies of the Arkham Carolers. Tap your tentacles along with the Dunwich Children's Chorale. All twenty-five numbers are professionally produced and recorded with the same maniacal care that made A Shoggoth on the Roof such a disturbing achievement in musical theatre. From beatific choirs to maniacal mariachis, there's something for everyone in this first-ever CD of Lovecraftian Solstice Carols.

You too could wander the street of your town entertaining people with such delights as Great Old Ones Are Coming To Town, Have Yourself a Scary Little Solstice, Oh Come All Ye Olde Ones, Silent Night, Blasphemous Night and Away In A Madhouse. Free samples, including MP3s and sheet music available to whet your appetite, and that of the Great Cthulhu.

December 3, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Cthulhu Awareness band

Recently, at a convention, I was handed an intriguing item. It was a small plastic baggie containing one of those affinity bands, in black. It was an Original Cthulhu Fhtagn Wristband.

It all started when I was on the Tube, and found myself thinking There are all these wristbands available to raise awareness of various worthy and important causes. So why has nobody produced wristbands to raise awareness of the inevitable return of the Great Old Ones? After all, the inevitable demise of humanity amid the brain-melting horror of an awoken Cthulhu is something it's probably worth being aware of.

But people need go unaware no longer! You too can show your awareness of the inevitable doom that awaits us all with your very own rubbery Cthulhu Fhtagn wristband, available at very reasonable prices (plus a portion of your immortal soul, naturally. Call it a subscription model.)

And it even comes with a money back guarantee!

In the event of your wristband aligning the stars, bringing about the return of the Great Old Ones and thus causing the destruction of all humanity by screaming horrors from beyond the stars and/or the depths of the seas, you will receive a full refund.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 02:16 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

November 19, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Capella Gotica

[Black Virgin of Montserrat in a gothic surround]While on his holidays, Pastor Best went to visit a Black Madonna, Our Lady of Montserrat, near Barcelona, and brought me back a most delightful present. Described as a “capella gothica”, which I suspect means “gothic chapel”, this icon is made of finest gold (plastic) and silver (plastic) and stands about 20cm high. The figure of the Virgin and child appears to have been blackwashed to bring out the details. The doors open and close, and feel only slightly stiff and likely to break when breathed upon — it survived Ryanair's baggage handlers, so it can't be that fragile. The good Pastor says that it is nothing compared to the tat you can buy at Lourdes. Do any low-cost airlines go there? [Note: clicking on the thumbnail will take you to a very large and detailed photo of this delightful and charming object.]

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:10 | View blog reactions

October 26, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Dance Dance Jesus

Tired of getting your exercise by hopping along to incomprehensible J-Pop? Well Digital Praise has the answer!

Digital Praise takes the [Dance Dance Revolution] concept to Christian families with Dance Praise, which combines contemporary Christian dance music like Audio Adrenaline, DJ Maj, Steven Curtis Chapman, ZOEGirl and others — more than 50 songs, all together — with four gaming modes.

It's available for both Macs and PCs. Be warned, though—Digital Praise's web site is such a Flash abomination, that I suspect that it's all a Satanic plot or something.

Christian-themed DDR-style game releasedMacworld News, 26th October 2005.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:16 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

September 30, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a charming, tasteful fountain

It's kind of surprising what you find sharing a domain with something more interesting, but I suppose you have to pay the rent somehow and why not do so by exploiting the gullible? And so we find this delightful Cross and Serenity Prayer Fountain at Edifying Spectacle:

A soothing and spiritual desk fountain, offering a stone-look plaque with a carved cross on one side, and the Serenity Prayer on the other. River stones included. Uses 2 AA batteries, not included. Alabaster. 7 1/4" diameter x 9" high.

Let us hope the potential customers for this, or any other item from the vast range of religious tat, have the brains to check out what you get if you remove all the stuff after the domain name!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:21 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 30, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Le Dolmen de Bagneux

France: The perfect accessory for the well-heeled neopagan is on the market. The Dolmen de Bagneux is located close to the town of Saumur in the heart of the Loire Valley.

[Le Dolmen de Bagneux]The famous Dolmen in Bagneux is probably one of the most majestic French dolmens and the largest of the 4,500 dolmens spread out on about 60 French departments.

The overall length of this dolmen is over 23 meters (75 feet) and its chamber is over 18 meters (60 feet) long. As all dolmens, the 'Great Covered stone" in Bagneux, was a large chamber tomb which must have contained a great number of prehistoric skeletons during the neolithic age, i.e.from 4,000 to 2,000 B.C., that is about 5,000 years ago.

In addition to the domen itself, the sale includes a commercial building currently used as a brewery and restaurant, and two flats.

Posted by Feòrag in Heritage and Religious Tat at 16:49 | View blog reactions

August 23, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Photos of spilled coffee

Today's bargain is a set of pictures of an accidental spill made by a child under the influence of a strong, but legal, drug. Or rather, it's a JESUS COFFEE SPILL ANGEL HOLY SPIRIT - set of 4 photos. Unlike other vendors of similar simulacra, the seller here does not make any particularly ludicrous claims and seems to regard it all as a happy accident, rather than an actual work of their imaginary friend.

[An interestingly shaped coffee stain]These are photos of a coffee spill that appears to be in the image of JESUS, an angel, or perhaps an apostle, with arms lifted toward heaven. Tongues of fire or maybe the Holy Spirit are drifting upward.

Every morning my 6 year old daughter just has to have her cup of coffee. So my wife mixes her about a half cup of milk, some Carnation french vanilla creamer, and a splash of coffee. Needless to say, my daughter is not always neat and is quite often spinning her chair around to see Spongebob. Today, about a half hour after she finished, my 10 year old son hurried us into the kitchen to show us JESUS. We were surprised he even noticed it, since the image actually formed upside down - my daughter was sitting at the breakfast bar, facing it. I took the photos from both in front of, and behind the counter. The second picture shows the view from the direction she was facing.

I am being 100 percent honest when I say that this is not a hoax, and that these photos have not been staged or doctored in any way. This is an actual coffee (albeit with lots of milk and creamer!) spill that occurred by happenstance, while my daughter was having her morning cup of java - we even had to wipe some off of her chair (you can see where it dripped over the edge of the counter). I am also being 100 percent honest when I say, that while we are devout Christians, we don't necessarily believe that such things occur by divine intervention or have any specific spiritual meaning, I know that some folks do. That's why I'm offering this set of 4 photos for sale. They will be printed on 4 inch by 6 inch, premium glossy photo paper. There will be one set of these and one set only. That's my solemn promise to the winning bidder.

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August 13, 2005

Bargain of the Day: mucky spoon

Today we have yet another 'holy miracle' which leads one to assume that the Christian god is a little bit banal and unambitious as deities go. And notice the attempt by the person blessed with such a holy item to mislead people searching for entertainment: Holy Miracle! Mary & Jesus on Spoon! Not iPod, Psp,Xbox. No doubt the tall tale attached to the object for sale is as genuine and honest as the auction title itself.

[Virgin Mary on a spoon, apparantly]I cant believe it. I've been trying to wash this stain off of my spoon for months! I have scrubbed it with a scrubbing pad and put it into the dishwasher countless times. I finally looked at it up-close.......It is a modern day miracle! Amazingly it never washed off! Look for yourself! This is astonishing! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is the true image of the Blessed Virgin Mary......I cant stop looking at it....My friends have been taking pictures of themselves with the spoon. They are as amazed as I am......AND....I know that no one will believe this, but last week I carried the spoon with me....I just put it in my pocket. I then went for a walk with my dog. (He has a very strong leash) Well he bites through the leash and runs directly in front of the traffic of cars passing by.(4 lanes!) Every car stopped.............I know deep in my heart that Mary and Jesus were looking out for me and my best friend...I didnt really think about it until I returned home and pulled it out of my pocket! Jesus was there with me! Now I have the spoon on display for my friends and family to see.....The problem is people I dont know have been calling me to come see the spoon. I dont wanna be the guy that has the spoon that everybody wants to look at...I have a normal job and I would like to keep it that way. This spoon needs to be in a museum, church, or maybe the Vatican for all I know. So here it is. It is the real thing. This kind of thing does not happen everyday. The spoons dimensions are 20cm x 4cm. The bottom of the spoon says IKEA. The pic with the guy holding the spoon and the five dollar bill is Mr.M.Gonzales. He offered me five dollars for the miracle spoon. Thats a pretty good price.But then I thought to put it on eBay. Everyone in the world will have an opportunity to bid on the Blessed Virgin Mary Spoon. The pic of the guy with the tie is Dr.Vaughn. He was truly amazed and wanted his photo taken with The Virgin Mary. The pic of the nice young man with longer hair was the pizza delivery guy. (I think his name was Burt.) He wanted the spoon instead of the tip! The pic with the young woman is a famous personalty. We will call her "Molly" for now.(I can not give up the identification of the famous person in this photo)...She stared at the spoon for a while and said that she saw some flashes of light come from it. The last image is a pic of a Virgin Mary painting...She is beautiful in this painting and I think that the spoon is of uncanny resemblance....................................................Up for auction today is the only Blessed Virgin Mary Spoon that you will ever see in you entire life! Go ahead and bid on the spoon! It will most likely change the Spirit of you and the people around you!(Only the spoon is for sale). Thank you and have a wonderful day!

It would also be unkind of me to suggest a certain similarity between this image and the Velvet Vulva featured a few days ago.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:57 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 2, 2005

Bargain of the Day: A load of fanny

Today's bargain is a fine example of Neopagan tat. The Velvet Vulva™ is A line of fine purses and magickal bags.

More than a sumptuous Renaissance bag, the Velvet Vulva represents in three-dimensional form the sacred portal to the feminine temple. Each has sumptuous fabric labia and a beautiful button clitoris.

A Velvet Vulva might become your everyday bag; it might always stay on your altar; or it might be acquired for special occasions. (One of the first Vulvas I made was part of the bridal trousseau of a close friend of mine.) Naturally, what you put in your Velvet Vulva can have tremendous symbolic and magickal significance.

The creation pictured at right is a full length medicine bag, intended for ritual and ceremony, as well as everyday use as a purse.

In whatever way the Velvet Vulva is respectfully employed, it will express and honor the Goddess within and without.

As in life, Velvet Vulvas come in various sizes, shapes, and styles. "You will know when you have found a good fit!"

Hats and pillows based on the same design are also available.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:00 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 1, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Dead fictional character on toast

Red Wolf points out an auction which will be of great interest to those who found the Prattle by searching for harry potter porno, harry potter vampires and harry potter porn. Or perhaps not, as it doesn't feature anything vague pornographic or have anything to do with the undead.

But, the auction itself is full of spoilers for the sixth book, so if you intend to read it, do not read any further!

Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Dead fictional character on toast"

July 28, 2005

Bargain of the Day: 21st Century Vampire Killing Kit

United States: This isn't the first time the Prattle has featured a vampire killing kit, but the last one had more of an historial significance, was auctioned by Sotheby's rather than someone in desperate need of a clue about the misuse of the caps lock key and didn't appear to have been assembled by someone who watches way too many Hammer horror films.

Enjoy it in all it's eye-searing glory:

Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: 21st Century Vampire Killing Kit"

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Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 03:17 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

July 25, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a dozen sticks

The modern vampire has been influenced by goths and is a bit more fussy. You can't use just any only sharp, pointy bit of wood to get rid of them these days, you need UNIQUE ONE OF A KIND 1 DOZEN VAMPIRE STAKES:

WHAT MAKES MY STAKES SO DIFFERNT? EACH ONE IS HANDCRAFTED BY ME AND PAINTED BLACK FOR PROTECTION FOR YOU. THEY EACH HAVE ALSO BEEN ANOINTED WITH SPECIAL ESSENTIAL OILS USED FOR EXTRA PROTECTION FOR YOU. I HAVE ALSO DONE A PROTECTION RITUAL OVER THEM FOR YOU. NOT FOR KIDS THEY ARE VERY SHARP. THEY ARE 10 INCHES LONG AND COME 12 TO A BOX.

Staking a vampire in the heart with a wooden stake is the most popular way of destroying vampires. This method of killing a vampire has been around for literally hundreds of years. The stake must penetrate the vampire's heart to destroy it. In medieval times the stake was also used as prevention of vampires. Deceased individual who were thought to have a higher risk of becoming a vampire were staked in their coffins so that the stake would pin them to the ground.

SORRY PICTURES BAD I HAVE A CHEAP WEBCAM THAT SUCKS.

KEEP MY AUCTION ON WATCH PLEASE. ID REALLY LIKE TO MAKE IT ON EBAY PULSE AND I NEED THE HELP OF THE KIND HEARTED EBAY MEMBERS. IF YOU WANT ME TO WATCH YOUR AUCTION JUST MAIL IT TO ME AND I WILL IN RETURN.

I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU USE THEM FOR AFTER THEY ARRIVE AT YOUR HOME. USE COMMON SENSE AND HAPPY HUNTING
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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:42 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

July 12, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a pebble

At first glance, this Virgin Mary Image on A Stone Carved by Nature, Found on the Beach does bear a resemblance to the Virgin Mary, but look more closely - in particular at the area the vendor thinks is her arm:

[A worn pebble]Three years ago I was walking along a beach in Michigan, enjoying the beautiful sunny day wrought by God's handiwork. I stepped on a stone and bent down to rub my foot when I noticed this stone was very polished and smooth. When I picked up the stone I was stunned to see that the image of our Virgin Mother was staring at me! I have kept this stone with me, showing it to friends and relatives. The image is on a raised stone upon stone. Someone noted that it may be a fossil on top of the stone. The difference with this Mary is that she appears to have a hand over her eyes, as she herself cannot face the horrors of humankind. As I hold it, I feel such a sense of security and serenity. It has been my treasure and I am now offering it to pass along the solace it has given me.

Now, if that's an arm, then the BVM has two elbows. I see two possibilities - one is that she suffered from elephantosis, the other being that it isn't the Virgin after all, but some pagan goddess, and that's a whopping great dildo she's got there!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:50 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

July 11, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Karma Guard

Bad karma is a terrible thing, but you can absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions by investing just $7(US) in a bottle of Karma Guard:

Karma Guard will cleanse your soul and clear the air with a single spray. It contains purified water and wild Ginseng root, the same Ginseng that has been used by spiritual masters for over 2000 years for its spiritually enhancing qualities, one of which hastens the burning up or cleansing of Karma. Throw it in your purse, keep it on your desk, stick in your beach bag or workout bag, or right there on your nightstand — anywhere that bad Karma can strike.

Or you can buy it on eBay (for a bargain $29.99), and get a much more exciting description:

What is it? It’s a spray, it’s a shield, it’s a badge of awareness … it’s KARMA GUARD! Just when you thought it was safe to trash, bad mouth and dis, comes the antidote for any evil thought you may have. As you feel those nasty words leaving yours or someone else’s lips, whip out the bottle with the shield and remember: Just one spray keeps the bad Karma away. Karma Guard will cleanse your soul and clear the air. It contains purified water and wild Ginseng root; the same Ginseng that has been used by spiritual masters for over 2000 years for it’s spiritually enhancing qualities, one of which hastens the burning up or cleansing of Karma. So as the light scented mist of Karma Guard sprays across your face, it makes you stop and think … whoa, that was bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Let the contents within this hallowed bottle put your smile back on and remind you of what good feels like. Throw it in your purse, keep it on your desk, stick in your beach bag or workout bag, or right there on your nightstand — anywhere that bad Karma can strike. Karma Guard was first conceived of 20 years ago by two hit songwriters, Andy Goldmark and Bruce Roberts, responsible for mega- records by Jessica Simpson, Cher, N’Sync, Celine Dion, Elton John, Barbra Streisand to name a few. They realized that thriving in the treacherous waters of the music business necessitated some kind of protection for one’s soul in order to survive with anything resembling a conscience, much less a shred of decency. What started out as a running joke between them, soon evolved into a tool of awareness. Even though the Karma Guard bottle and design would not spring into being until now, the concept was alive and well particularly when they or anyone around them acted with a severe lack of ethics, morals or the slightest regard for anything that was obnoxious. Just verbalizing the need for Karma Guard in any given situation was enough to summon it’s power and invoke a Karmic righting of wrong, if only imagined at the moment. It took a little time but these two guys realized that being as civilization was going to hell in a go-cart, they might as well try to save it or at least create a thought provoking detour… AND NOW-- Here it is - the ultimate road tested remedy for the Universe’s biggest, baddest boomerang - - out in time to keep you somewhat honest, partially decent but definitely mo’ better than you were before. So remember, be good to your Karma and it will be good to you. And a little spray along the way won’t hurt either… Karma Guard! You say they don't carry it on the Wal-Mart near you? Hard to believe; but this IS your lucky day! For the first time ever on eBay-- and straight from the the creators themselves-- the Ari Bhod auction for the preservation of Tibetan cultural heritage is making this available in any town in the world where Wal-Mart or Target hasn't stocked it yet. And whether you're Dick Cheney or a high lama we're starting it a price someone with PERFECT karma or less than perfect karma can afford. And no reserve. PAYMENT: PayPal or money order
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:26 | View blog reactions

July 9, 2005

Bargain of the Day: one lighbulb, blown

Today's extra special offering on eBay is one of those old-fashioned, electricity hungry lightbulbs, though large utility bills won't be a problem, as it looks as if it doesn't work. But, you can't get much (any?) cash for an old lightbulb, so what's for sale is marketed as a Religious Icon Light Bulb One-Of-A-Kind True Miracle! The vendor admits that they have no idea what the miracle depicts, but those with spiritual eyesight will know. It's Said to have likeness of Jesus, Virgin Mary, or Angel.

[Knackered lightbulb]This auction is for a one-of-a-kind, never ever intentionally created light bulb. It was FOUND in the wilderness rock hunting in Wyoming in the Big Horn Mountains about 8 years ago. It is truely a miracle. Like the grilled cheese sandwich, or the pretzel this has a likeness of what has said to be by friends and family members to be Jesus Christ, The Virgin Mary, or an Angel. This light bulb, unlike that sandwich or the pretzel is a solid piece of material that won't decay. I have been too afraid to put it into a lamp with power. Therefore I do not know if it will turn on, and I am not going to try. This is too miraculous for anyone to believe. I cannot believe I found it. Also, there is a slight crack across the top of the head, that looks like a halo. You can barely see it, but if you look close enough you will find it. This light bulb is truely miraculous. Anyone who believes in God or any religion knows the value of this bulb. So please bid with full intention to pay the item price. This is not a joke at all. It is a real light bulb with a real likeness that was probably caused by the sun hitting it. I am not totally sure what caused it, but this likeness is PURE WHITE.

Bidding starts at a mere $999.99 (US).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:34 | View blog reactions

July 5, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Deity bits

A rather remarkable item has appeared on eBay today: OWN GOD'S REAL HAIR! Depicted is a lock of brown hair, tied with a white ribbon, and a remarkable claim.

You Heard it Right! You too can own a piece of Salvation, a little light in the darkness, or perhaps the ultimate Status Symbol. Forget the intangible, amaze your study groups.

Buy a Lock OF God's Hair RIGHT NOW!

You know, I expected it to be grey or white.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:31 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

June 24, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Mould

Today's bargain is, well, mingin'. It's apparently an INVITATION TO ABUNDANT LIFE, a TABLET GROWN FROM RECIPE IN BIBLE,Fountain of youth. The information on the eBay auction is rather sketchy:

[Penicillin perhaps?]MORE INFO: www.whothirst.com until now this is something money can"t BUY

PAYMENT ORGANISED THROUGH email Bank Direct whothirst@bigpond.com or PAY/PALS

Let Your SOUL DELIGHT Itself in ABUNDANCE

But fortunately, the linked website is much more informative. For bizarre religious values of informative.

SAINT ANTHONY'S
NEW TREASURE ABUNDANCE


Made from Seven Years Working On Understanding

ISAIAH 55
AN INVITATION TO ABUNDANT
LIFE


ABUNDANCE: Is made with all natural ingredients:
USING: Flowers, Shrubs and Trees


CRYSTALGENICS: Is the art of turning liquid into crystals.
Sought after by Alchemists since the beginning of time.


ABUNDANCE: Grows from liquid, which I call The Waters Of Life
NOTE: When Abundance is dissolved in water, it regrows and multiplies in approximately 4 to 5 days based on 1 to 2ml of water


INTERESTING FACTS: Things found written about recipe while working on recipe.
ISAIAH 55:1 REVELATION 21:6 REVELATION:22:17

available for sale from July 1st, 2005

So, about as clear as one of QuePirate's comments then.

Bampot tags: , .

Tags: ,

Posted by Feòrag in Forteana and Religious Tat at 20:03 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 27, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a shell, but not like yesterday's

The Prattle is about 16½ years old now, and in that time it has come to my attention that there are one or two Christian extremists out there who are, well, a little bit violent. This bargain will disappoint them - there's no way it can be used for its original purpose. Today's offering is a DIVINE FIND - SHOTGUN SHELL TURNS INTO POPE'S HAT?!? which was MYSTERIOUSLY FOUND IN PRAIRIE WITH NO TRACES OF FIRE.... Which is good, because the rest of the description implies that there is a class of Darwin-bait that throws ammunition into bonfires:

[Squashed ammo]This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own the divine treasure emblazened in a fire, molding itself into the shape of the Pope's hat. How the shell did not burn up entirely is a mystery that will probably never be solved, but the shocking result is a sight to behold. The shell was found after the christening of the new Pope, but it is believed to have been molded into its present form sometime before or at the time of the former Pope's death. Could this shell have been burning into its undeniable shape as the Pope died? Draw your own conclusions as to the meaning of this strangely divine occurrence, but bid now or forever hold your peace. The only reason this one-of-a-kind miracle is being sold is the feeling that it truly belongs to another person, but who is the true owner?

Item is guaranteed 100% authentic. Seller acknowledges that no human was involved in the forming of the item into its present shape. It is believed that the item has been formed as a direct result of divine intervention.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:26 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 26, 2005

Bargains of the Day: Holy toast and seashell

Today we have two bargains to tempt you. First up is a Virgin Mary Image on Toast - Found in Arizona Office:

[Some squiggles on toast]This is a piece of bread, toasted in an office break room, that has an image resembling the Virgin Mother Mary. I looked at it for several minutes and showed it to others in the office and we all agree that it is definitely the Virgin Mary.

We immediately photographed this toast and then put it in an air-tight plastic container to keep it in good condition.

The picture says it all. The Holy Mother Mary is respected by many people and is a religious icon to a majority of the world.

Please only bid on this with good intent. I accept Paypal, money orders, and personal checks. Must send payment within 72 hours of auction end. Thank you and God bless.

And if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, we also found this Jesus inside a Seashell, which will no doubt be of particular interest to Methodists:

[Shiny shell]The world is a gift given to us by God, and we are shown a little taste of heaven itself from time to time we just have to be willing to look beyond what our eyes see and look with out heart. Along with the treasures of life I believe that God leaves little signs or clues that He is still alive and knows what’s going on in our lives. Going up for auction on eBay a small wooden curio cabinet approximately 7" x 10" x 2" filled with various types of beans and a simple sea shell in the middle. Look closely and you can see one of God’s little signs, the image of His Son meekly looking down in the middle of a sea shell made by God’s own hand. You never know this could be a sign that God is around and always with us or just the something that someone needs as a little pick me up! Wouldn’t you like to have one of God’s little signs that we are here for a reason and that he is always going be with us no matter what the circumstances?

Please note this item is not grilled cheese, it won’t rot, decompose or shrivel up and wither away; it is an actual sea shell you will be able to cherish forever just as God’s love for us is everlasting.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:10 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 25, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Bring Jesus to your bosom

Jesus decided to get closer to the heart of the the vendor of this Jesus Christ's Image on Mammogram. (Religious). Naturally, she felt the most respectful thing she could do with the One and Only... ORIGINAL FILM! of this moving event was to sell it on eBay.

[Mammongram simulacrum]Jesus Christ's image is clearly visible on this mammogram. I went in for a regular mammogram screening where several x-rays were taken. The doctor thought he had seen something unusual and called me back one week later.

On this second visit, only one image was taken of the area of concern. As soon as the film showed up on the screen, the image of Jesus Christ was clearly visible. The technician and I were astonished and immediately felt a pleasant presence.

Needless to say, I was blessed to find that all was well and I am in good health.

Additional information: Mammogram impression is: 4"x4". (JC image within.)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:08 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

May 8, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Glittery moon thing

How about a nice, shiny, glittery moon for the bedroom? Not convinced? Well, this is no ordinary bit of New Age tat, it's a MAKE A WISH AND DREAMS COME TRUE WAND!

[Glittery moon thing]MAKE A WISH ON THIS WAND AND DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

I BOUGHT THIS MAGICAL WAND A FEW YEARS AGO AT A PHYSIC FAIR, AND IT HAS BROUGHT ME AND OTHERS, NOTHING BUT GOOD LUCK!

I AM VERY SERIOUS, THIS WAND WAS NOT BOUGHT AS A GOOD LUCK WAND, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING VERY MAGICAL THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE A WISH, OR SAY A PRAYER, AND HOLD ONTO THIS SPARKLE HALF MOON ON A STICK~

SOME SAY THEY SEE RELIGIOUS FIGURES IN THIS?

DOESNT MATTER HOW YOU HOLD THIS, IT IS SMILING FRONT AND BACK, LET IT SMILE FOR YOU, AS IT DID FOR ME~

As the vendor is obviously in need of the cash, the wand not having granted that particular wish, only the gullible are allowed to bid:

IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN WISHES AND DREAMS DO NOT BID..YOU MUST BELIEVE~

April 29, 2005

Bargain of the Day: the Melbourne Sheet

The Turin Shroud? Pah! That's nothing compared to this amazing Australian Sheet with imprint of virgin mary / christ, and you can't buy the shroud on eBay!

[Jesus, or Mary, or Che or someone, in a sheet]Bed sheet was donated to the salvation army store in St Kilda australia along with clothes shopper and staff whitnessed the clean bed sheet the all of a sudden the imprint of Jesus christ / virgin mary appeared.As seen on Channel seven news , a current affair channel 9 , international news and Uk news press.

The vendor isn't sure who the image is of, but the beardiness and hat suggests Che Guevara reading a newspaper to me. There again, that wimple and veil with the beard means it's probably a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, so the message this sheet bears is Here's a condom. Have fun with it.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:10 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

April 28, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Part used jar of mayo

The Virgin Mary has, rather appropriately, appeared in the form of unfertilised eggs, and is for sale on eBay as Virgin Mary Mayonnaise Jar Mayo Christ Guadalupe IT'S A MIRACLE! Virgin Mary appears in Mayo Jar:

[Virgin Mary in a jar of mayonnaise]You have seen her in a tunnel in Chicago. You have seen her on soiled bedsheets in Mexico. You have seen her on a grilled cheese sandwhich. You have seen her just about everywhere. But you have NEVER seen her in a mayonnaise jar. Here for the first time EVER, the Lady of Guadalupe makes an appearance in a jar of mayonnaise. The one identifying aspect of this true miracle is that the street name where the miracle happened is Guadalupe Avenue. No, this is not a joke, this is for real.

Look at the picture, and see it for yourself. A true miracle has taken place right before the making of a ham and cheese.

US CUSTOMERS ONLY (And MAYBE Mexico). Winner pays $4.95 PRIOIRTY shipping and handling with DELIVERY CONFIRMATION #. PAYPAL ONLY. We do not accept pesos.

The vendor does not explain why the Virgin has a beard.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:24 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

April 26, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a quaich

Sometimes it is not the item itself which transforms something into religious tat, but the marketing. Take this perfectly innocent quaich, made by a well-known British manufacturer of pseudo-Celtic nonsense, and sold in tourist shops all over Edinburgh. You see, according to vendor shadownmyst, this is not a commercially-produced version of a traditional Scottish loving cup but a Black High Magic Chalice:

This beautiful chalice is a magical item to be used only in Black High Magick. One should expect to pay well to hold such power in mere mortal hands. This is not an item to be used by novices in the black arts! The chalice is a beautiful, polished pewter cast and purchased through St. Justin's in the United Kingdom.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:45 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

April 23, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Virgin Mary log

Todays bargain is a very special lump of tree - it's a Virgin Mary image in wood, and comes with its own story. As these images usually require special 'spiritual eyesight' to see, the vendor has helpfully indicated where the alleged image is on the photograph:

[A log with the Virgin Mary on it, allegedly]Last summer (2004) My wife and i had two trees taken out of our back yard.
As i was moving wood, i discovered that some of the big pieces had what appeared to be the Virgin Mary in the center. The pieces were to big for me to move and my wife is not able to help as she is permanently disabled from an injury that happened in 1999. She herniated 3 disks in her neck and damaged 3 in her lower back. She had surgery to fix her neck but they wouldnt operate on her lower back. She can walk (thank god) and she can only lift up to three pounds at any time.

The reason I am listing this on ebay is, we bought our house last year but the sellers never disclosed the fact that the walls were filled with mold from a leak in the roof that the inspector missed. We need to have it fixed as well as get a new roof. This could be our blessing in disguise so i figured why not.

The section of wood weighs about 150 - 200 pounds and whoever would like would probably have to come and get it as i dont think ups or fedx could ship something like that.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:46 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

April 22, 2005

Bargain of the day: part of dead bird

Does HIS HOLINESS POPE JOHN PAUL II IMAGE ON POPCORN CHICKEN count as a miracle for the purpose of sainthood?

[A blob of dead bird coated in orange stuff]After saying our prayers, prior to enjoying our dinner, my wife served our meal which included popcorn chicken. During the course of our meal, I looked down at my plate and saw clearly the image of his Holiness Pope John Paul II. I called my wife over and she saw the exact same thing as I. Sitting on his throne, the late Pope is seen bent over in prayer or performing a Mass. This is so wonderful to know that he is still with us. And we want to share this gift with the world. This piece of popcorn chicken is guaranteed to be unaltered.

Shipping will be $2.25 anywhere in the U.S.A.

Thank you and God Bless You!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:16 | Comments (6) | View blog reactions

April 21, 2005

Bargain of the day: Cake pan base, partially cleaned

Religious figures have been appearing at random in the houses of those who cannot wash the pots properly and, naturally, it all has something to do with the Pope. This New Pope! Virgin Mary hidden in cake pan is a fine example:

[The Virgin Mary on a cake tin]This is beyond bizarre. While I was washing my dishes this morning April 19 - I noticed the image of a woman's face in the metal work of my pan. It was just a few hours later that the new Pope, Benedict XVI was announced.

As you can see it's an astounding image resembling the Virgin Mary. I am not a religious person, and have no spiritually driven need to keep this pan as anything more than a tool - but I understand the significance of this relic I want it to belong to someone who would value this item as more than a kitchen utensil.

The Pan is 8" in diameter and the image consumes most of the pan. I removed the sides of the pan (it is spring form) so it could be better photographed. The sides will be included with purchase - please note that the sides are bent from being dropped. It is very hard to see the image with the sides on so they weren't used when the pan bottom was photographed.

I am very serious about this auction and understand the significance with the appointing of the new Pope Benedict XVI. Serious bidders only, please - this is not a joke.

Hopefully proceeds will go towards a dishwasher.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:09 | View blog reactions

April 19, 2005

Bargain of the Day: A piece of fruit

Today's irresistible auction is for a miracle mystery coconut - help for a special boy:

I ran across this miracle mystery coconut while looking for a coconut for my newphew Miles. Miles is four years old and loves coconuts. Everytime I visit him he wants me to bring a coconut from Florida. Well I have been traveling to see Miles more than usual the past few months. This is because his parents are going through a divorce and Miles has been taken away from his mother in a custody battle. Miles loves his mother and It has been a hard time for him and his two brothers (8 and 10) lately.

The coconut has cross etchings on it and what appears to be the word Jesus. It is still green but ready to be picked soon. The sale of the coconut will help provide clothes and shoes for Miles and his brothers. The father does not provide this for his children, and the mother is looking for a job and hoping to get custody of her kids. Until then they have nothing.

No photo is provided, so you'll just have to take her word for it.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:10 | View blog reactions

April 10, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Buddha nut

Appearing in strange places is a game which is not limited to Christian figures, although they don't seem taken quite as seriously when they do. Take this Macadamia Nut Buddha Face:

[Buddha, on a nut]I've been holding onto this for 6 years now because it's such a great conversation piece! I was working at a candy store in northern Wisconsin, cleaning up the fudge counter, just about to throw out the scrapings from the Macadmia Nut Fudge, when this little nut rolled over and I said WOW- it looks like Buddha! I then proceeded to show all the customers for the rest of the day and kept it in a special box from then on! Now, I'm not a religious fanatic, I don't claim this is some strange sign from Buddha or anything like that, I just think it's a fun little collectable to show off- if you want to interpert it some other way, go ahead. I've just shown everyone by now and am ready to pass it on to someone else :) He's still in good condition, a little sticky *it is a 7 year old macadamia nut!*, and a small crack along the back of it- not affecting the face at all! The pictures show very well what he looks like. Happy bidding :)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:44 | View blog reactions

April 9, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Pope Simulacrum!

After much searching, I finally have my Pope simulacrum. What's more, it's not just the late Pope - it's Jesus!! The Pope! Praying Hands! On this Holy Rock!. And the vendor really wants you to know about it, at length and in technicolour!

[A rock with the Pope on it (somewhere)] OH-MY-GOODNESS EBAYNIANS!!! THE IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST!, THE POPE! AND THE SHAPE OF PRAYING HANDS ON THIS HOLY ROCK OF GOD!!!! AND IT ALSO HAS A GREAT SOURCE OF ENERGY SOURCE OF FORCE POWER FLOWING FROM WITHIN IT!!! On the 1st photo of this you'll see the image of Jesus Christ!!! It's at the upper top of the Rock!! The Pointed area of The Rock!! As they say, Jesus "Is" The Rock!!! And the Pope is at the center of Jesus Christ, with his head towards Jesus's left shoulder. The Pope is kneeling in prayer with his hands up to his face. But Jesus Is All the energy that many need, right? I say "Many", because I do like to give respect to "All Forms Of Religions"...Some believe and some don't....that's how religion and such goes, But I'm moreso Spiritual than Religious, but I do also believe in what's said of Jesus Christ and such......but my beliefs go really deep in spirituality...... So, what you see?, Is Jesus The Rock!!!? Or On The Rock!? Pope John Paul!? Do you also see the Praying Hands!!? Place your hands together as in the position of prayer, to put your hands close to the photo of The Holy Rock, now tell me what you see!!! Are you feeling it!!?? I speak the truth and lie "Not!", as I held this Holy Rock which is also shaped like Praying Hands, in the palms of both my hands, I began to feel a strange kind of energy source from it that flowed through both my arms! The great blast of energy that I felt from this rock, rocked me and it sent a great rush through me all over. I found myself just rubbing this "Holy Rock" between my palms! The rush of energy that I felt made me want to set the Holy Rock" down and start clapping my hands as hard as I can! I felt like punching a punching bag if I had one!!! I felt like throwing my arms up high in the air and just shaking them!!! I felt like running!!! I felt like Soaring!!!! I felt so many things!!! I felt really energetic! And as I type this, I'm feeling that feeling and I'm not even holding the rock, for it's over there laying upon my bed, but even from there I'm feeling the energy!!! It's hard for me to explain in words!!! Some may ask, well "MysticSpirit" if you're feeling all of that, then why do you wish to sell the "Holy Rock Of Christ, with the image of The Pope, and the shape of praying hands? Well, my answer to that is..... With the great source and flow of energy force of power that I'm feeling from this rock, I don't want to seem selfish! I want another to feel what I'm feeling!!! I want to share this feeling!!! I want to Play It Forward!!!... How many of you are sitting back remembering the time when you last felt such a great rush of flow of energy!? How many of you wish that you could feel such a feeling once again!? Well that time has come around for you again, and the feeling is *Solid*!....."Solid As A Rock!!" I don't know how the feeling will shoot through you, but it shot through me with a great force of power that's out of this world! I'm feeling it from head to toe!!! And to all of the "Smart Addicts Out There In Ebay Land".....No, I'm "Not" on drugs(never done such as that in my life). "What I'm feeling from this "Holy Rock"(What I call it, by how it looks)..Is "ALL NATURAL!!" 100% PURE HOLY ROCK ENERGY!!! Maybe even some of you can even feel a touch of this energy by just looking at this "Holy Rock!" Well I don't want to be the only one sharing of this feeling, I want someone else to feel this feeling!!! Well, now that I've told you what I have been feeling, it's now up to you on rather you want to feel it too!!!! "And if you do......It's now Up To You!!!!" **Good Luck**

****Note: This Holy Rock Of Christ, with image of The Pope, Praying Hands, Is 3 and a half inches long, and almost 2 inches wide(Almost, depending what area it's measured from, from side to side.

The most important image that I see on the 1st rock on the main gallery page is of Jesus Christ.....This rock is also shaped like the praying hands... Look closely at the top of the rock, can you see what looks like the "FACE OF JESUS!!!"...WITH VERY LONG HAIR!! As well as Pope John Paul!! Even your hands folded in the prayer position looks pretty much identical to the Holy Rock!!! My Fellow Ebaynians! Don't miss out on this one!!! This one is the God's Truth!! This Rock was not formed!!! It was found on the ground just as it is many years ago!!(not sure the exact year, but long ago!) And seeing that this Holy Rock Of God was found as it was, there's not another one like it!!! So you will be the only one that has it!!! For your collection!! Or God's Gift to another! MAKE SURE "YOU" COME OUT THE VICTORIOUS ONE MY FELLOW EBAYNIAN/S!!! DON'T LET ANOTHER EBAYNIAN PUSH YOU OUT OF THE BIDDING!!! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY MAKE SURE IT BECOMES YOURS!!!! AND MAY THIS HOLY ROCK OF GOD BRING MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOURS!!!!!!! HAPPY BIDDING!!!!!!!! **PEACE BE UNTO YOU!**

I was told that the rock once belonged to a very nice religious older woman.. That the Holy Energy Rock was first picked up in the Upper Area of Michigan somewhere many years ago.....and that the older lady liked the rock so much(Or maybe the rock was calling to her and she didn't know it!!)...that she picked it up and took it home and placed it in her Tropical Fish Aquarium.....then her older son got it from her with the aquarium and contents of the aquarium that his mom gave to him...... And that just excited me even more, for in the aquarium are..."Fish!!!" What do they say of Jesus and his Apostles??? How they fished and such as that... How Jesus Fed them with just a small amount of fish! And I think bread or such!! How do that story go? Any of you Ebaynians know how it rightfully went? If you do, can you give a bit of feedback on how it was worded.........THIS HOLY ROCK IS PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Ebaynians!!! And many blessings to you all in Ebaynia!!! Hey, I was just thinking of how this Holy Rock has been around for so long, with first my friends mom, and then on to my friend.....but none of them seem to see the greatness of the Holy Rock! They knew that they loved this rock, but didn't know fully why......they just somehow saw it as being very unique, and that's why she somehow felt the urge to pick it up and bring it home! Sometimes we don't know fully why we may do a thing, but when the time is right, it's then revealed to us why we were so drawn to this thing....... Even when I first saw this rock I was drawn to it! But I too at the time didn't know why fully..... I thought that it had a nice smoothness to it...... One side of it being a greyish like color with a bit of brown, and the other side being mostly a dark brownish color... This Holy Rock is so full of tons of energy, and I can't help from touching it from time to time!! Then more energy seems to shoot right through me!!! You can pass it on to another!! Let them also touch of the Holy Rock Of Christ!! Surely it would touch everyone who touches it, holds it... And bless them in some way or another!! Even healing them if that's what the Holy Rock wishes to do!!! This is indeed a Precious Spiritual Rock!!! And there's none other same as it!!!

Hi again dear Ebaynians!! I added the other photo that I promised ya! It's the other side of the Holy Rock(3rd photo)....it's a dark smooth brownlike color....with great unique textures!!I have been feeling the great warmth and energy coming from the Holy Rock! You should too!! I love the uniqueness of rocks and other great God Givened Items of nature.... I'm always amazed and over joyed by the many designs, images and such that appear on, or are naturally an these items of nature.... Any feedback on rather any of you have also seen the images which are upon the Holy Rock? Take care.......don't wait too late to bid!! If you too see the uniqueness and great Holy images that are upon this Holy Rock, and wish to make it yours, don't be out bidded by another! Make it yours for keeps!

Goodnight my dearest Ebaynians! May the Forces Be With You All!!!!!
I'm a messenger spiritually,and have been for many years. THIS HOLY ROCK AND ALL THAT ARE SHOWN UPON IT IS 100% REAL AND SHOWN FROM ABOVE! YOU CAN HAVE THIS HOLY ROCK CHECKED OUT, IT'S ORIGINAL!! IT HAS "NOT" BEEN FORMED BY ME NOR ANOTHER, IT'S FORMED FROM THE GREAT SPIRITUAL FORCES OF GOD ABOVE!!! I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND LIE NOT!!! IT'S A GIFT TO ME FROM THE FORCES THAT BE, TO BE SHOWN AND OFFERD TO THEE!!!

If this Holy Rock becomes "yours" you must cherish it, and keep it safe!!! You can place it in your home, and recieve of it's great blessings. You can "pray with it", you can take it with you as you go to and fro(but keep it safe!!) You can place it in the room of the sick, in rest and peace(In which ever way God so chooses this to be)... You can place it in the room of your love one/s for great spiritual blessing and protection! You can place it within your special garden, that's ok, for it's a Holy Rock, it can take the heat and much more of the forces of nature, but just keep it safe. There's no other Holy Rock like this one! It can never be replaced!! So start you bid, don't be out bidded, and this Holiest Rock of All Rocks can be yours from the powers that be!! Tell me, "WHAT DOES A "FAKE" CHEESE SANDWICH HAVE OVER THE TRUE HOLY ROCK OF GOD!!? "GOLDEN PALACE?" "ANYONE?" WHAT DOES THAT HAVE OVER WHAT'S REAL, WHAT'S SHOWN, WHAT'S GIVEN FROM ABOVE IN SIGNS AND IMAGES!? MIND YOU, THIS HOLY ROCK IS PRICELESS, THERE CAN NEVER BE TOO MUCH PAID FOR THIS ONE AND ONLY HOLY ROCK!! PLACE THY BID UPON THIS SOLID ROCK AND HAVE THE BEST ITEM OFFERED IN EBAY HISTORY!!! MAY THE WINNING BID AND BLESSINGS BE PLACE FROM THEE!!! Peace Be Upon Thee!!

If you can see it, let me know.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:52 | Comments (5) | View blog reactions

April 8, 2005

Bargain of the Day: one spoon, slightly soiled

Today's bargain is the victim of misidentification. Described as spoon with h20 mark shape of a cross/week Pope passed, remarkable claims are made for this strange object:

[A spoon]Normal serving spoon came out of the dishwasher the day Pope John Paul II passed away with a water mark resembling the holy cross.

On Apr-08-05 at 04:05:10 PDT, seller added the following information:

Portions of proceeds will be donated to a Catholic Charity.

Now, to me, that looks more like the Japanese kanji [ketsu], which means hole or cavity. Of course, it could still be read as topical by the desperately pious, as the character forms one half of 墓穴 [boketsu], which means 'grave'. Now, don't go complaining that the Prattle isn't educational!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:49 | View blog reactions

April 7, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a jar of water

Close but no banana, today's bargain isn't a miracle image of the late Pope, but a related phenomemon - a jar containing the Tears of the Pope.

[A jar of saline]Over the past few years my health has been less than optimal to say the least. I haven't had the money or the insurance to fully treat myself. I have been praying day and night for an answer. A few days ago sometime after the Pope's passing he appeared to me. I said to him I was sorry and I wept for his passing. He told me not to cry any tears for him because he is not in pain anymore. The only pain he feels is for us. He told me he was aware of my pain and that he cries for all of us. Since then a jar I use for holy water has been filling up slowly drip by drip. I live in a dry climate and jar has been closed. My only explanation is that these are the tears of our passed beloved Pope John Paul II.

I do not wish to make money in this way, but I fear this condition may not improve because I am not rich and cannot afford what I need to treat my condition. I only wish to treat my condition and have no use or want for any other money. I trust God will only give me what I need. I feel that this is God answering my prayers and he has a plan for me even I do not make the money for my treatment. Praise our Lord!! Thanks be to God!!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:07 | View blog reactions

April 5, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a ticket stub

Still no Pope simulcra, but Jesus is showing up in some strange places. Look at this Face of Jesus Christ on a Constantine movie ticket!

[A bit of paper]I want to be totally honest. I had this ticket for weeks, but I just recently noticed this. I consider myself a movie buff. I go to the movies alot. As a hobby, I also collect my movie stubs. Well, I was floored when I noticed this!!! At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But the more I look at it, the more relevant it seems. If you focus on this movie ticket, you can see the face of our lord and savior Jesus Christ himself!!! The ACTUAL ticket is even more convincing than the photocopy you see here!

When I discovered the image, I scanned it into my computer. What you see here is a copy of the original ticket, then how I took the time to enhance the ticket copy to make it even more visible... I used Photoshop to draw out the background images as you can see. Then I made an outline of Christ's face so you can better visualize his aura.

I find it also fitting that this image would appear on a "Constantine" movie ticket stub. Anyone who has seen the movie knows that it deals heavily with the Christian religion.

You may be wondering why I would want to sell this ticket. Well, I believe this ticket is like the bible and should be shared. I am only asking for money because I feel someone who is willing to pay for it, has the faith to treat it with respect. This is a great spiritual gift and a definite conversation piece. GOD bless you all.

Note: If the picture of the ticket doesn't appear here, see it @ http://www.ade.0catch.com/faceofjesus.jpg

Note: I put a black bar on the picture to block out the theatre name because I don't want that theatre to be harrassed

P.S. All proceeds from this auction will go to a good cause

Except, of course, his faith led him to host his images on a site which doesn't allow you to link to it from eBay, or anywhere.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:56 | View blog reactions

April 4, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Holy neep

My efforts to find a Pope simulacrum for sale on eBay have yet to bear fruit, but I did find this petrified jesus Turnip, his face is clearly visible!:

[A dessicated turnip]Our tottam of Jesus started out as a simple turnip purchased for lunch one day. It was forgotten and after a few weeks it was almost all dried out. With some divine inspiration it's owner pushed his fingers in the turnip in a few places and left it out to finish drying, As you can plainly see this Petrified turnip bears the face of jesus! We have showed this to our friends and family and they are amazed! we Call it our little jesus veggi This good luck symbol can be carried with you anywhere you go as a measure of comfort! this ranks right at the top of amazing phanominon!

Note the above example of Christian English.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:59 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

March 22, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Another door.

Clearly inspired by an earlier effort, today we have another divine door, even if all I can see is Gandalf! The vendors insist this is a Miracle Door-Image of God's Face

[A veneered door]This wooded door has an image of the face of God (look for yourself). This image appeared at a time when our family was going through problems. Since the appearance, it had brought positive outcomes and our faith back. Our family calls this door the Miracle Door. The door measures approximately 23 1/2" wide and 78 1/2" long.

You will not regret buying this door. This door will only bring you positive outcomes. Seller paying shipping cost!!!

You know, looking more closely at that image, it looks more like Satan than anything else - you can even see the horns! Ain't nature wonderful?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:22 | View blog reactions

March 21, 2005

Bargains of the Day: more simulacra.

The pious imaginations are in overdrive today, with two holy apparitions appearing on eBay. First up THE AMAZING HOLY GOD MUSSEL:

[Shellfish with interesting natural decoration]I found this amazing item whilst strolling along the beach in Christchurch, England. I couldn't quite believe it at first, but the mussel actually says 'God' on it! The holy inscription was written by a tube worm (Pomatoceros trigueter), though this one was clearly trying to tell us something! These worms usually leave meaningless white deposits on mussels, as I'm sure we've all seen in restaurants/ on the beach.

I thought the mussel was too exciting to leave on the shore, so I picked it up and took it home. Almost instantly things started to happen which made me think the mussel is lucky, or holy or something! Things have been going so much better at Uni and at home (for example my boyfriend and my sister's boyfriend both asked us to marry them within a week!), that it can't just be coincidence. With the mussel still in my pocket on the way home I found a ten pound note on the pavement! I believe it has given me really good luck, and since I am training to be a Vet (five years of University training in England doesn't come cheap!), I think it's time to pass the luck of the mussel onto someone else, and let it bring me my final bit of help.

I hope it brings you as much luck as it has brought me. I will also send with the mussel a signed certificate from me to confirm where I found it, as I think the fact it was found in 'Christ Church' makes it even more significant!

I am even less convinced by this JESUS PROFILE FOUND IN A PIECE OF POPCORN :

[Jesus in popcorn, apparently]JESUS PROFILE FOUND IN A PIECE OF POPCORN. IT IS TRUE, SEE THE PHOTO! I WAS EATING POPCORN ONE DAY AND DISCOVERED THIS PIECE WITH A LIKENESS OF JESUS. AS SEEN IN THE PICTURE, HE IS LOOKING LEFT. YOU CAN SEE HIS CHIN, MOUTH, NOSE, EYE AND HAIR AND NECK. WHEN I WENT TO PHOTOGRAPH THIS POPCORN WITH MY DIGITAL CAMERA SOMETHING STRANGE HAPPENED. I COULD NO LONGER USE THE VIEW FEATURE AFTER THE FIRST PICTURE WAS TAKEN. WHEN I DOWN LOADED THE IMAGES ON MY COMPUTER THE CAMERA WORKED FINE AFTER THAT. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS A FLUKE OR THE CAUSE OF A HIGHER POWER. BECAUSE THIS IS FOOD I CAN NOT GUARANTEE IT'S CONDITION AFTER SHIPPING. BUT POPCORN IS PRETTY STABLE, AND EVEN WHEN STALE, CAN LAST A LONG TIME.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:33 | View blog reactions

March 20, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Christian soft toys

Red Wolf has found a treasure trove in the Oriental Trading Company. It will indeed become the standard fallback when the crack tat-spotting team at Prattle Towers fails to find anything of interest on eBay. Today we look at some of the lovely soft toys suitable for the Christian child.

[Little doggie angels]First up are these REALISTIC PLUSH DOG ANGELS, at $7.95 for 12: 7" Plush Realistic Angel Dogs. Each with tricot angel wings and a tinsel halo. Assorted styles. They're almost as delightful as the PLUSH PRAYING LAMBS - 83c PER PIECE, each of which bears a felt cross.

In the Department of Bad Puns, you can find PLUSH JESUS IS DEER TO ME REINDEERS.

[Reading the Bible is like taking E]Clearly there is some form of specifically Christian Ecstasy on the black market. How else do you explain these SMILE FACE BEAN BAGS W/BIBLE or these neon-coloured Vacation Bible School Plush Bears. Each with an embroidered cross? RAINBOW FAITH PLUSH BEARS are clearly from the same drug-addled mind. Alas, the picture on the web site is not large enough for me to determine what it says on the attached label.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:11 | View blog reactions

March 18, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Kosher Easter Eggs

United States: They're Easter eggs. They come wrapped in garishly coloured foil adorned with a crucifix. And — wait for it — they're Kosher.

Alas, the Oriental Trading Company (home of enough crappy, plastic religious tat to keep the Prattle amused for weeks) is fresh out of Kosher Crucifix Easter eggs, but they do have some daisy patterned ones in stock, so you're still in with a shot of offending your fundamentalist Jewish friends with gifts of Gentile cluelessness.

Kosher Easter Treats - Banana Stew, 2nd February 2005 (via Boing Boing).

Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 22:19 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

March 17, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a dirty towel

One of the benefits of religion is a highly-tuned imagination. Just look at this Apparition - Original Handprint from Heaven:

[A dirty towel]As I was cleaning one day, I looked at my towel and saw the Handprint from Heaven. You can see how closely it resembles the picture of Christ. If you look closely you can also see an angel ascending into Heaven. As you look longer at it, several faces appear. It has been featured on several news stations and seen by hundreds. It has been blessed by several priests, including the Archbishop. It's authentic, one-of-a-kind.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:55 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

March 15, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a door

Today's vendor does not know anything about how veneer is made and installed. So, they are really surprised when they spot an odd mirror image.

[Pretty veneer]This wooden door has an image of Jesus in the wood grain. It is amazing how clearly Jesus is in the door. If you look closely it looks like Jesus is praying. You can see arms and where the hands are folded in prayer. You can see his hair, and even the outline of his chin.

Actually, this is one of the better simulacra I've seen recently, though if you want a religious interpretation, I'd say Moses bearing the Ten Commandments would be a better one.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:42 | View blog reactions

March 14, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a lump of rock

It seems that superstitious folk are seeing the Virgin Mary everywhere these days -- and then promptly auctioning her on eBay. Take this Collectible Rocks Natural Formation Mother Mary & Jesus as an example. All I can see is a well-eroded lump of stone, but those with that special eye of faith can see more:

[A worn lump of rock looking like nothing in particular]This Rock looks like Blessed Mother Mary holding the infant Baby Jesus. The opposite side looks like the adult Master and Savior.

This Spectacular Rock was located in a creek bed under a waterfall in middle Tennessee just north of Nashville very recently.

This rock Measures 3 1/4" long and 2" wide at the base.

When this rock was located and picked up it was apparent without a doubt that it had the image of Mother Mary and Baby Jesus.

The vendor claims a special talent for seeing that which isn't there: I have other Rocks and Fossils that I will be placing for auction. One of these looks uncannily like the skull of Invader Zim, although our vendor sees something different.

[The skull of Invader Zim, or Frankenstein, if you prefer]This Rock has been naturally formed into the shape of what looks like a Skull and looks like Frankenstein.

It was found in a creek bed under a small waterfall in central Tennessee just north of Nashville .

This rock formation is full of fossils.

It measures 4 1/2" Long by 3 3/4" wide. It weighs approx. one pound.

Please feel to ask and questions before you bid.

I think I'm right on this one.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:55 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

March 12, 2005

Bargain of the Day: One crisp, slightly damaged.

Not the Virgin Mary this time, but a simpler simulacrum in the form of this L@@K~CRUCIFIX - CHRISTIAN ICON - POTATO CHIP ~ UNIQUE!!:

[A crisp with a cross cut into it]You are bidding on this rare potato chip in the shape of the Christian icon or symbol.

* GOOD FRIDAY IS NEAR!!!

* EASTER IS COMING!!!

This particular chip is from a collection of potato chips I have collected over the years.I recently sold a shamrock chip on Ebay. It is now available to the highest bidder of this auction. Regardless of your belief, you can now own this timeless artifact. With the coming holidays approaching, you are at the right place at the right time to bid on this item.

You have seen potato chips, sandwiches, loaves of bread,ect that resemble the virgin Mary or other religious people or symbols.

Now, you can own this wonderful crucifix chip.

This is not some cheap immitation nor a reproduction, it is a real potato chip with a Christian symbol or icon. It is the real deal. Whether the winning bidder is Golden Palace, the Vaticant, a collector of rare artifacts, or even an average person. This chip is available to the one with the highest bid. You will not be disappointed with this item.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:35 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

March 11, 2005

Bargain of the Day: filthy dog door

If you have at least $1000 (US) going spare, you could invest it in a large dog-sized cat flap. It's a bit mucky, but with a bit of creative interpretation, you can see that the VIRGIN MARY IMAGE HAS APPEARED!! ON DOGGIE DOOR.

This is a image of Virgin Mary that appeared on my dogs doggie door, about 4 yrs ago. You are bidding on the doggie door ONLY. (However, you can email me with any questions about the dog house.) Please, only serious bidders!

Our cat flap is just as dirty...

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:20 | Comments (5) | View blog reactions

February 15, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Magic paper

Today's bargain really is a bargain - it won't cost you a thing, even though the bits of paper printed with some old poetry have incredible powers:

A Breslov student in Jerusalem sent me about 10 wallet sized cards printed with the Tikkun HaKlali.
The Tikkun HaKlali is also known as The General Remedy or The Ten Healing Psalms.

Rabbi Nachman specified ten psalms that he said contain the general remedy for maladies of the soul, especially depression.
By simply carrying this card it will help you overcome sin, provide protection and remedy any problem you might be experiencing.

I have these cards all over the house, cars, wallet, computer etc.
So far so good!

The student who sent it to me told me how they offered these cards to 3 Israeli soldiers patrolling the Old City of Jerusalem.
2 of them took it and the 3rd declined (he felt it would not help him in any way).
They were subsequently involved in a bomb blast.
The 2 with the Tikkun HaKlali cards survived.
The 3rd died - may Hashem have mercy on his soul!

If you would like me to send you one - free of charge - please e-mail me your name and address to silberman6000@yahoo.com

The ten psalms (to be read in this order) are: 16, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, 150.

The rest of the site, The Jewish Prophecy - FULFILLED! is fascinating, for the usual Prattle definition of that word.

Note: the discussion of this at LiveJournal is getting rather interesting.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 08:30 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

February 14, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Bible Hangman

Hangman Bible for Macintosh is an excellent tool for religious homeschoolers--not only do you get to indoctrinate your child, but the unusual word order in the game's name gives them a head start in Christian English. Not bad for $25 (US). So, what is it?

[Non-violent, my arse!]Hangman Bible is a religious-themed take on the classic hangman game, the same game we all played when we were kids, on paper or on the blackboard at school. Hangman Bible is a classic word game. It's easy to play, and fun for all ages. Letters can be chosen using the mouse or the keyboard. Words can be selected from various religious-themed built-in categories, suitable for Sunday Schools. Hangman Bible is a colorful, educational game with digitized sound effects, speech, non-violent graphics, a little cultural literacy, and whole lot more. Non-violent, family software at its best.

Hangman Bible supports the speech synthesis that's built-in to most Macs. The speech synthesizer can spell and/or say the word that was just guessed. It can even speak words of encouragement when you win or lose the game. (Registered users can customize these phrases.) Hangman Bible includes many speech-related enhancements, making the game much more fun for visually-challenged users.

Another exciting feature of Hangman Bible is the Knowledge Area. Game words (that is, the words that you have to guess in the game) can include information about that particular word or phrase. For instance, if the word category is Saints, when the game ends, information about the Saint just guessed will be shown.

Hangman Bible now features built-in word categories, such as: Apostles, Bible Stories, Books of the Old Testament, Books of the New Testament, Christmas, Jewish Months, Popes, Religious Words and Phrases, Sacraments, Saints and Women in the Bible.

Hangman Bible is a colorful, educational game with digitized sound effects, speech, non-violent graphics, a little cultural literacy, and whole lot more. The perfect game for your home or for Sunday School. It's available now for a free 10-Day Trial.

It seems the Christian English dictionary defines non-violent a little differently than the regular, Satanic dictionaries. I suspect the entry reads a little like this:

non-violent adj. Of poor quality, not very accomplished. non-violent graphics, low resolution, blocky images see Sinclair ZX Spectrum.

As for the conventional definition of non-violent, well, when you lose (and I'm ashamed to admit that it took me far longer than expected to lose a game) the hanged man swings ominously, an impressive touch of realism for such a simple game. But non-violent? My arse!

Still, if you are tempted by this remarkable shareware product, the requirements are quite modest -- you need a PowerPC Macintosh with screen resolution of 800x600 (or more), running OS9 or OSX. And victims of the Borg need not worry, as A Windows version is also available.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:11 | View blog reactions

February 8, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Expensive pebbles

If I'm going to pay >$750 for a bit of rock, then I'd expect it to be diamond or something, but apparently (according to the vendor), these WISHING ROCKS are Powerful, Magical, will bring you Luck and Happiness, and so must be worth it, right?

MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! Wishing rocks from the Last Frontier! These rocks have been used throughout history for meditating, praying, and of course, wishing. Their mere presence in your life brings a sense of serene spirituality, and their use in rituals or concentrated prayers brings an overwhelming feeling and knowledge of completeness and understanding, as though whatever you wish for will come to fruition, what you've longed for will be yours. It's a peace-gaining experience to own, use and cherish the wishing rocks. These wishing rocks have never been touched by human hands until acquired specifically for you, which makes these wishing rocks perfect for all of your dreams and wishes!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:51 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

February 7, 2005

Bargain of the Day: mucked-up pancake

[Jesus, allegedly]Shrove Tuesday isn't till tomorrow, but Jesus doesn't seem to be very good at timing his appearances, which is why we feature this Vision of Jesus Christ on a Pancake as today's bargain.

The pictured comestible apparently contains, as you might have guessed, an image of Jesus. The vendor has described it in detail, but I suspect they have special spiritual eye sight, because I can't see it at all.

Jesus appeared on my apple pancake. I was shocked to see it when I flipped it over. A radius of apple halo crowns His head, and his eyes are upturned to heaven. This is a miracle to turn the direction of my life to the right path. Thank you for this vision Lord, I hope others may see it as proof of Your mysterious ways.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:49 | View blog reactions

February 6, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Flashing Jesus

Today's bargain is a job lot of flashing Jesii, complete with flowing ginger locks:

[See Jesus flash!]These Jesus statues can be seen gracing the dashboards of delivery trucks in Christian states throughout India, but are new to America.

Lot of 7: 3 Jesus blue, 3 Jesus black, plus ONE Mary!

All are plastic with 2-3 colors of flashing LEDs! Very cool looking at night. An excellent way to profess one's faith. Jesus runs on 12V only; Mary runs on 6V or 12V. Put one at the peak of your Christmas tree! Keep one in the window of your home as a guardian!

NOTE: Mary and 2 of the Jesus statues need simple repair. The electronics work, but the statue has come off of its base and needs to be reglued.

I would prefer to sell them as a lot, but if you see this and are interested in purchasing just one; then if the lot does not sell, I can sell you one in good working condition for $9.99 plus $4.00 shipping.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:32 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

January 23, 2005

Bargain of the Day: all kinds of everything

A Miss Poppy Dixon recently left a comment on an earlier Bargain, so imagine my delight when I discover she is an online retailer of religious tat, and contemporary kitsch with religious themes. Among the genuine tat, my favourites include this Glow-in-the-Dark Christian Switch Plate:

Plastic, gothic-shaped luminescent switch plate with gilt relief text, Bless this house Oh Lord we pray. Make it safe by night and day. Bas relief face of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at the top with additional text, I will bless every home where a picture of my heart shall be exposed and honored. Really pretty. 6 1/2"x 2 3/4"

Miss Dixon can also supply you with vintage Christian tracts, in themed packs. I'm tempted by the False Faiths Series which could include such delights as The Black Art of Witchcraft, 4 Things God Wants the Jew to Know or The Priest Who Found Christ. The End Times Series also includes a number of items of interest here at Prattle Towers, such as Beware 666 and The Mark of the Beast.

Among the selection of contemporary kitsch, all I can say is send me the entire Hell-o Satan range now!.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:05 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 19, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Jesus tortilla

Religious simulacra continue to appear on eBay. The latest proclaims Jesus appeared on my Tortilla! The description merely assures us it is not joke, and leaves us to contemplate the photo in peace.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:34 | View blog reactions

January 12, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a bottle of water

Fed up with Strathmore? Why not try this Shaman Blessed Holy Rain Water. With a starting bid of $30 (US) required, it might seem a tad expensive, but it's special, you see.

This water was gathered during the strongest lightning storms that occured last year. It was then blessed during every full moon-plus: a blue moon, every lightning storm all year long, a solar eclipse.

Bless your house, property, belongings, car/truck. babies-anything that comes to mind. A years worth of work and blessings.

You are bidding on one bottle of blessed and charged holy water.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 02:07 | View blog reactions

January 8, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Jesus in my saucepan

The over-active imaginations are hard at work on eBay still. How else would this cartoon of Zaphod Beeblebrox become MYSTERIOUS IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST?

[The face of Jesus (on E) in a pita bread]THIS IS AN ORDINARY KITCHEN COOKING POT. ONE NIGHT AFTER MY BROTHER WASHED THE DISHES HE WENT FOR THE POT TO PUT IT AWAY AND AS THE POT BEGAN TO DRY AN UNUSUAL IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST APPEARED. HE LEFT THE POT ON THE COUNTER GRABBED HIS CAMERA AND SENT SOME PICTURES TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND ASKED, "WHAT DO YOU SEE" WELL OF COURSE EVERYONE ELSE SAW THE SAME MYSTERIOUS IMAGE. HE DECIDED TO LEAVE THE POT AS IT AND LET IT CONTINUE TO DRY ON IT'S OWN ASSUMING ONCE COMPLETELY DRY THE IMAGE WOULD GO AWAY. IT'S BEEN ABOUT 3 MONTHS AND THE IMAGE REMAINS THE SAME. DON'T BELIEVE IT? ARE THE PICTURES NOT CONVINCING ENOUGH? BID AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. THE IMAGE IS REAL. AS REAL AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE. IT'S A MUST SEE TO BELIEVE. PLEASE EMAIL WITH ANY QUESTIONS BEFORE BIDDING. NO PHONY BIDDERS PLEASE, JESUS IS WATCHING.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:02 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

January 5, 2005

Bargain of the Day: human remains

You too can have a bit of someone's dead body in your home! Well, the vendor doesn't describe it in those terms - they say it's a 1st CLASS RELIGIOUS RELIC ST.JOHN NEUMANN:

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A 1ST CLASS RELIGIOUS RELIC,ST JOHN NEUMANN WHO WAS BORN ON MARCH 28TH 1811 AND DIED JANUARY 5 1860.HIS BODY LIES IN A GLASS CASE IN PHILADELPHIA,PA.THIS RELIC HAS SOME OF HIS BONE INSIDE AND HAS A UNBROKEN THREAD AND WAX SEAL IN THE BACK.MY CAMERA DOES NOT TAKE GOOD PICTURES BUT THE RELIC IS AS DESCRIBED AND IN GOOD CONDITION.DURING ST.NEUMANNS LIFE HE PREFORMED MANY MIRACLES AND THERE IS ALOT ABOUT HIM THAT YOU CAN READ ON THE INTERNET.GOOD LUCK.

Which is a bit too ghoulish even for this old goth.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:39 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 4, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Jesus pita

It seems you can't keep a good joke down, even when it's reached the point where it's no longer funny. As evidence, I present to you this JESUS PITA BREAD SAD FACE COLLECTIBLE/COLLECTABLE:

[The face of Jesus (on E) in a pita bread] HERE IS A PHOTO OF A PITA BREAD FROM WHICH I WAS EATING LAST YEAR WHEN I SAW JESUS' SAD FACE STARING RIGHT BACK AT ME. I IMMEDIATELY WAS TAKEN BY IT AND HAD TO SAVE JESUS. I'VE HELD ONTO IT FOR SOME TIME BUT CANNOT CARE FOR IT AS I PROPERLY SHOULD. IT IS NOT MOLDY IN ANY SORT OF WAY AND IS NOW REALLY HARDENED BY THE WAY THE WORLD IS TODAY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF JESUS PITA, PLEASE BID ON IT RESPONSIBLY. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:39 | View blog reactions

January 3, 2005

Bargain of the Day: spooky bottle

Today's bargain is one of those metal wine decanters, like the ones you can buy in any Spanish tourist trap. So why mention it here? Because its really Solid Brass Bottle with Spout (Possibly Haunted) which May Contain Genie / Ghost / Spirit !!. Note that the vendor makes no claim that this is the case, just that it might.

Spooky Spooky Spooky

On offer is one solid brass bottle. It has a handle, a spout and a lid on a hinge. The brass is slightly aged however it could easily be polished to look good as new*. There is also a small chip on the spout. It is of a middle eastern-esque style, however I am not sure of its origin as I will explain further on.

I am unsure of the age of this item as one day my friend found it at his house. No one in his family had any idea where it had come from. It was quite the mystery!

He decided to give it to me to list on ebay because we thought it could possibly be haunted and we didn't really want to have that sort of thing around.

(It's pretty spooky).

A lot of wierd stuff has been constantly happening to us since we found it. We can never go out with out some odd occurance. The Lights in my friends room shorted out and wont work and and no girls have been out with either myself or my friend since we found it (despite both being attractive) and a lot more unfortunate happenings. I'm not sure but I think it all has to do with the bottle.

But don't worry the item is not cursed, it is in fact lucky the spirit just doesn't like us due to previous disrespect of its home.

I can't guarantee that it is haunted but I believe it is.

In fact If you're not into haunted stuff then It would make a nice decorative feature for your house regardless.


If you any questions about the unusual nature of this item feel free to ask.

*Polishing may or may not release entity possibly haunting bottle

There are NO, I repeat NO refunds on this item.

The bidding currently stands at $30 (AUS).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:00 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

January 1, 2005

Bargain of the Day: expensive photograph

Today's bargain is a picture of a church on fire, and you can buy it now for a mere $30,000.00 (US)! So what's so special about it? Well, if you are not blind and have any imagination whatsoever, some bits of the picture look like faces, and you know who that must be:

Home during the Holidays, I was looking through some old photos that my mom had and stumbled upon this jem. It was early on the morning of Jan 1st 1990, when this church (St. Joseph DuMoine ) caught on fire. It was 15 years ago to the start of this auction.

This photo was not developed right after the fire, in fact, my mother cannot remember when it was developed. After being developed the photo was aired in the local paper, showing the phenomenon.

I could put many names on the faces within the photo, but it is my full belief that it is the Lord himself that can be seen in the flames above the cross. There are another two faces that I can see in the photo, the second one is on the left hand side on the pavement, between the fire hose and the snow, and the third is in the flames of the church. The third face is located in the flames to the left of the piece of white wood on the right hand side of the front of the church. These are indicated on the second photo with black circles. The third face is much more distinguishable in the actual photo, but none the less is present in the scanned image.

I am not looking for publicity, which is why I am not putting it into the media, I hope that this photo brings the winning bidder luck and good fortune.

Well, no publicity other than that which is inevitable when you put something silly on eBay for a ridiculous price!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:56 | View blog reactions

December 30, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Paranoid (not Black Sababth)

Today's bargain is a CD, but it's not just any old dodgy bit of Christian rock, or even C-Rap. No, DEVIL SPEAKS THROUGH MAN is really, really special.

Dear buyer, I want to warn you what is on this CD, I find very frightening and unsettling, It is a man who I believe is possessed bye the devil are some evil sprit. The contexts of the CD which I believe is the Devil himself speaking to the world is a massage to the effect of how he is able to convince the people he doesn't exist. And the way he operates, with out alarming people to his presence threw science and other fields. I personally believe based on the message it is real, but you make up your own mind, but which ever way you see it, the message is based in truth and reality. I do not believe it is some religious person trying to scare people as I first through. I believe the world should hear this warning.

You can have one of 25 copies of this exciting recording for a mere $1 (US - approx £0.03)! The same vendor also offers the ESSENCE OF JESUS CANDLE. It seems He did not pong the same as any other man:

PSALM 45 v 8 In the bible

All thy garments smell of Myrrh, and Aloes, and Cassia out of the Ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad.

This very special candle is made with Myrrh, Aloes and Cassia listed above, which is the scent of Jesus according to Psalm 45 v 8. The candle has a very embracing smell and glow, and gives you a sense of bing close to Jesus. Available in red, white or Green. Candle is brand new.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:49 | View blog reactions

December 29, 2004

Bargain of the Day: the motherlode discovered!

CheesyJesus.com sells Truly God Awful stuff. Stuff like this Guadalupe Belt Buckle or this Jesus Ashtray:

If the Surgeon General's warning isn't enough, maybe a guilt trip from God will get you to quit your nasty habit. Remember: Heaven is non-smoking; you might want to get used to it now. (This message brought to you by the American Cancer Society and the Lord.) Ashtray measures 3.75" and is made of glass. Temporarily Out of Stock.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:29 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

December 19, 2004

Bargain of the Day: subtle web art

Today's Bargain won't cost you a thing, thanks to the untiring artists at Eziekiel 33 Graphics, assuming you actually have any use for enormous Messianic Jewish (i.e. Christians, but with bacon cravings) web art. And they take commissions too:, but not from just anybody:

I am willing to design specific graphics for websites, if you will just email me with what you want, I'll see what I can come up with! I can design logo's & banners also! I do this as a service for the Body of Christ! There is no charge for these special requests, but I need your website address, so that I can visit your site to make sure that I agree with your biblical views. There is far too much false teachings that I in no way want to be a part of! I am here to serve & to glorify Y'shua! I don't make animated graphics, but I do animated texts, so make sure to check those out, also.

See, not even having a Jewish mother can help with Christian English (thanks, Tez).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:21 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

December 13, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Baseball Last Supper

Miracles do happen, and to mark a recent one, this Red Sox Supper print has been produced in a limited edition of 500.

Share in the celebration with this limited edition 40" x 20" Giclee Canvas Print! Hang it in your TV room, or order one for your sports bar! This print will last over 100 years and will go down in history as one of the best pieces of memorabilia to come from the biggest win in red sox history. Only 500 have been printed! Get yours now. ($149.99 US)

And for the well-off fan, an even more limited edition of TEN ONLY Special Edition GIGANTIC 40"(3'4") x 80"(6'8") Giclee Framed & Stretched Canvas Prints! is available for a mere $2,000.00 + $200 (S+H).

More impecunious fans can also buy the design as posters, on T-shirts and on mugs. (via Avedon).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:48 | View blog reactions

December 11, 2004

Bargain of the Day: yet more simulacra

Need money for medical bills? Well why not scribble on a picture of Jesus and sell it, like the vendor of this 'miraculous' Jesus with image of Mother Mary appearing in robes:

This is truly a Miracle

This is the original coloring book drawing, colored by my wife and my 4 year old daughter, not a copy. It has been in our family bible for 25 years.

My wife was explaining to my daughter about Jesus, Heaven and the recent loss of her unborn child while they were coloring this picture of Jesus. While coloring the robes white, the image of Mother Mary appeared from nowhere. Image could not be seen before coloring. It is not on the back side of page. Marys image was not found in the book on any page.

It is truly a miracle!

Must sell, due to health reasons, my wife will cry for days when this icon leaves the family bible

Still looks like wax over pencil to me.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:38 | View blog reactions

December 9, 2004

Deck the halls with boughs of fibre optic

Christian blog Going Jesus is celebrating Advent by posting a daily Nativities That Maybe Don't Need to Exist. Every example would be a Bargain of the Day here. So far, my favourite is the Chicken Nativity (I would really have to display this one in a creche made from a KFC bucket).

And that site also provides a related link: UglyChristmasLights.com.

This site is here to show those houses where the residents are likely celebrating a happy holiday, but have no sense of decency in how they choose to celebrate. We will show the garish, the ugly, the weird. For your own sake, and the sake of your neighbors, do not try this at home.

(Thanks, Charlotte.)

Posted by Feòrag in Ho! Ho! Ho! and Religious Tat at 18:55 | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: simulacra cookbook

Want to Make! Money! Fast!? This Cooking Up Religious Icons CookBook! contains a few ideas:

Wow! This recipe book was inspired by the infamous Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Now you can cook up your own religious icons! Yes, your entire family will enjoy the wonder and awe of gathering around the dinner table to see if Peter, Paul, or ummm, Mary join in your feast. From a sizzling Jewish dish summoning those silly Rabbis of the past, to good 'ol Catholic pastries that may, and I stress MAY, produce images of those belt-yielding, knuckle- slapping nuns of your childhood days, this cookbook covers only the best! Whoo Hooo! Yum. Yum. And, how about Adam and Eve Apple Tarts! Yes indeed, nothin' says lovin' like tempting apple tarts.

25 personal recipies in total, from sinful deserts, heavenly main entrees, and even BREAD, this cookbook may unite your family like never before. lmagine any sinner simply cooking and eating their way to repentence!

Please note that I can cannot guarantee your personal results. Results do vary. Quality of cooking oil, location of home, elevation, angle of stove, overhead lighting, and your own personal disposition may determine results. However, that has yet to be determined. While I may have seen images of religious symbols when cooking from these recipies, I also believe that Martha Stewart is a Saint. OMG!! Wouldn't it be great if Martha's face showed up in the humble pie recipe! Note: Not responsible if John Lennon appears in any dish created.

Finally, if the bidding exceeds $2,000, I will gift to you a walking cane that does absolutely nothing but assist in leveraging a person that needs balance.

On-line casinos are highly encouraged to bid!!

November 30, 2004

Bargain of the Day: god on a stick

Germany: Having trouble with your neighbours over that mobile phone mast in your back garden? Well why not disguise it?

For €25,000, you can get a crucifix (the item that crosses the line, geddit?) antenna from Industrieanlageabau - or a tree, complete with realistic bark.

The report says the mayor of Schwabhausen, in deeply Catholic Bavaria, has come out against such an antenna in his village church. But others have gone ahead: Everyone recognizes the church now, said Johannes de Fallois, pastor at a church in Neuburg.

Germans crucify Jesus on mobile mast - The Register. 29th November 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:37 | View blog reactions

November 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Pet log.

For a Virgin, Mary sure is putting herself about a bit. Now she's shown up on a bit of wood and is for sale on eBay.

Virgin Mary apparition on wood!

This is not your grandmas grilled cheese sandwich!

These pictures have not been modified or altered in any way.

Yours for at least $20,000.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:57 | View blog reactions

November 17, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Virgin Rarebit

If you have a spare $100 million, you might be interested in this Virgin Mary In Grilled Cheese NOT A HOAX ! LOOK & SEE !:

You are viewing an extroidinary out of this world item!! I made this sandwich 10 years ago, when I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up at me, It was Virgin Mary starring back at me, I was in total shock, I would like to point out there is no mold or disingration, The item has not been preserved or anything, It has been keep in a plastic case, not a special one that seals out air or potiental mold or bacteria, it is like a miracle, It has just preserved itself which in itself I consider a miracle, people ask me if I have had blessings since she has been in my home, I do feel I have, I have won $70,000 (total) on different occasions at the casino near by my house, I can show the recipts to the high bidder if they are interested, I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is the Virgin Mary Mother Of God, That is my solem belief, but you are free to believe that she is whomever you like, I am not scamming anyone, I would like all potinetal bidders to know that this has gained alot of attention from media personell around the country, On Tuesday November 16, 2004 the Miami Herald will feature a story in thier paper on this phenomon, Also Today which is November 15, 2004 The story of The Virgin Mary In The Grilled Cheese will be aired on Channel 4 News here in South Florida, The story has been told nationwide on radio stations ect. I also would like all onlookers to understand why I am choosing to keep the high bidders ID private, I listed this once before and had all kinds of emails some were nice and funny comments but many were cruel intended, and vindictive, I ignored them but, I do not wish to subject potiental buyers to this form of invasion, The last time this was listed there were over 80,000 viewers, Like I said I recieved alot of emails that were down right cruel intended, I do not care I will not read them anyhow, but you should not waste your time being vindictive, I am asking that only serious questions about the item be emailed to me, not jokes or ridiclous comments, If you have a genuine question please do feel free to email, I am not scamming anyone I am selling this item proivided that there is a serious bid with a payment, SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY! DO NOT BID IF YOU INTEND TO RETRACT THE BID OR FOOL AROUND, THERE IS NO RESERVE ON THIS AUCTION!! I AM STARTING IT OUT AT THE BOTTOM LINE PRICE THAT I INTEND TO SELL THIS ITEM FOR!!

How the image could be interpreted as the Virgin is unexplained, unless she has a thing for pre-raphaelite art. Still, some people are not taking this wonderful item seriously, for example: Virgin Mary's Used Gum in Grilled Cheese!! LOOK & SEE!.

This is an actual representation of what I believe is the used chewing gum once chewed by the Virgin Mary. I can't say this item is a miracle, but I can say I have had some strange luck while possessing this item. I once found 25 cents by my car in the Wal-mart parking lot. I'm sure all of you can appreciate how difficult it is to find loose change in a parking lot, much less a Wal-mart parking lot. A true miracle if there ever was one. If you require proof, I will gladly send you a picture of the quarter.

(thanks, Mike).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:52 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

October 25, 2004

Bargain of the Day: No relation

Messianic Jews apparently have a term for their symbol combining a Magen David with a cross, and you too can buy a Cross: Stross Sterling Silver Charm from Treasure Island Jewelry (thank you to Gil, who found one by accident).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:54 | View blog reactions

October 19, 2004

Bargain of the Day: magic pumpkins

Asako Kawahara can sell you a pumpkin wearing a hat. But this is no ordinary pumpkin - it's one of Asahara's Angel Pumpkins, and has incredible powers.

Two women who had been willing but unable to have babies after marriages of eight and 11 years respectively suddenly fall pregnant. Another woman plagued by repeated miscarriages desperately wants a child, but still can't get through a pregnancy after four years of marriage. But two months after getting an Angel Pumpkin, she gets pregnant, carries the child to term and is delighted!...

When I gave a woman having trouble getting along with others and struggling to overcome a failed relationship, it went rotten within a week. But that was when things seemed to pick up for the woman. She thanked me, saying, 'All the horrible things in my life seemed to have been passed on to the pumpkin, Kawahara recalls for Flash. Another bachelor who really hated being around people got one of my pumpkins and his life turned for the better. He became a different man, trying his hand at whatever challenge was thrust up before him.

Alas, the link given by the Mainichi Daily News is broken, so you will have to search hard to find where to buy your special vegetable.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:25 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

October 18, 2004

Bargain of the Day: L'Chaim!

Today's bargain is something Charlie will be in two minds over receiving for his 40th birthday today, for the Shmaltz Brewing Company is an American micro with a difference - they specialise in crafting quality beer and quality shtick for the Jewish community and beyond. They produce two ales, labelled He'brew - the Chosen Beer: Genesis Ale was, unsurprisingly, their first creation.

Crisp, smooth and perfectly balanced between a west coast style pale and amber ale, with a supple malt sweetness and a pronounced hop flourish.

More Prattle-worthy is Messiah Bold It's the Beer You've Been Waiting For!, a nut-brown ale. Thanks to Moshe Feder, I can assure my readers that this is a rather fine beer, dark and complex, if a touch sweet.

All beers are certified to the strictest Orthodox standards.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:18 | View blog reactions

October 15, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Car Mezuzah

The folk at Jewish Bazaar have thought of everything, and stock of whole range of car mezuzot (scroll down a bit). So, if you are a homeless Jew reduced to living in your car, or a Jewish New Age Traveller, you know where to go.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:07 | View blog reactions

October 2, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Praying Children Talking Clock

United States: Admittedly not as scary as the heart on the outside Jesus nightlight, but this little item is pretty creepy.

I should point out that Feòrag's filter of scary eBay auctions can be quite distubing at times.

I have up for bid a wonderful clock for a child's room. Two children praying. The face lights up (can turn off or on). It has God Bless My Family on the front. There is a sleep on button, alarm on and off button. You can set it for English or Spanish, wake to speech (goodnight prayer, the lord's prayer), bell or melody. You can also set it for automatic hourly chime. Also has lo, high or med volume. It is made of hard durable plastic. Measures 7 1/2 inches tall and 8 1/2 inches wide. There is a place in the back for an AC adaptor, but I don't have that. I put in new batteries and it keeps perfect time and works great. If you are the lucky winning buyer, please go through checkout and shipping will be calculated for you. Wt. is 1 pound. Christmas will soon be here, so please visit my store for many new items and much, much more. Thanks for looking.

I'm particularly attracted to the clock being made from hard durable plastic. So you know that no matter how hard your child tries to destroy the horrible looking thing, you can just dig it out of the compost heap or fish it out of the toilet, wash it off and it will still be happily ticking away to torture you child for another day.

PRAYING CHILDREN TALKING CLOCK-WORKS GREAT!! - eBay, 1 October 2004.

Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 12:46 | View blog reactions

September 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: slightly damaged Chevy Camaro

United States: A car which once belonged to David Koresh is expected to fetch $60,000 at an auction in Texas this weekend.

The black souped up Chevy Camaro owned by Branch Davidian leader David Koresh will be sold as is, complete with damage it suffered when it was run over by an FBI tank as the cult's compound near Waco burned around it on April 19, 1993.
This is the car that he drove every day between the compound and downtown Waco, it's still titled in David Koresh's name, auctioneer Daniel Kruse of Kruse International told 1200 WOAI news.
Kruse identified the car as a 1968 Chevy Camaro two door, four speed, 500 horsepower car, with the words DAVID'S 427 GO GOD stamped on the engine block. 427 is a reference to the car's 427 c.i. engine.

Koresh's Car to be Sold - WOAI San Antonio News, 23rd September 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:35 | View blog reactions

September 21, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Christian Yule ornaments

You are a Christian who celebrates the (pagan) Winter Solstice by putting up a (pagan) tree and decorating it with (pagan) ornaments representing the return of the sun. Before you engage in (pagan) feasting, why not try to pretend it's really a Christian festival by adding this SET OF 6 ASSORTED CROSS WATERGLOBE ORNAMENTS to the solar and fertility symbols on your tree?

READY FOR CHRISTMAS - NEW IN BOX - These ornaments are highly decorative and distinctive.
Each waterglobe features an embossed design base accented with assorted color jewels and a jeweled cross at the center of each globe.
Ornaments measure 1 5/8" diameter x 2 5/8" high and include ribbon for hanging
By International Silver Company
Posted by Feòrag in Ho! Ho! Ho! and Religious Tat at 21:19 | View blog reactions

September 17, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Yarmulke Bra

Remember the mantra Reduce, reuse, recycle? Well, the Yarmulke Bra is an interesting application of the second part of that:

Inspired by the MC Paul Barman lyric, I couldn't stay calm because/ she revealed a bra made of two yarmulkes, designer KS turns the fantasy into a reality.
All bras are one of a kind. The Yarmulkes themselves are imported from Israel and are individual works of art. Available in three styles: Bat-mitzvah(S/M sizes), Boobooshka(L size) and Sports(M/L sizes).
Customers interested in bras made from their vintage bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah yarmulkes, may contact us directly...

Strangely, they are all sold out. Perhaps I should file this under Intentional Humour instead... (via Everlasting Blort).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 04:52 | View blog reactions

September 16, 2004

Bargain of the Day: MMF with Feng Shui

If yesterday's bargain isn't your style, perhaps you will find somthing more to your liking in ANGELA'S MAGICAL FENG SHUI HOUSE. For example, there's this HUGE DRAGON FENG SHUI SAILING SHIP over 2 ft wood. For BUSsINESS LUCK - WITH REAL GOLD & much more:

Beautifully carved feng shui dragon sailing ship
FENG SHUI MUST HAVE IF YOU HAVE A BUSINESS AND WISH TO ATTRACT FENG SHUI WEALTH
THE SHIP IS DETAILED WITH CARVED DRAGONS, CABIN, SAILS, RIGGING ETC ALL THAT YOU WOULD EXPECT TO FIND
THIS SHIP RETAILS FOR $200.00 + IN STORES
50% OFF r.r.
bidding starts at my cost buying price
AND THIS BEAUTIFUL FENG SHUI DRAGON SAILING SHIP WILL COME TO YOU WITH FREE REAL BOTTLE OF GOLD FLAKES COINS AND CRYSTALS TO ASSIST IN FENG SHUI WEALTH MAGIC
OVER 2 FT LONG AND NEARLY 3 FEET TALL WHEN SET UP
GENUINE FENG SHUI PRODUCT

Don't forget, If you have several businesses on the go you should obtain a ship for each.

Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: MMF with Feng Shui"
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:54 | View blog reactions

September 15, 2004

Bargain of the Day: MMF

Feeling skint? A little short of cash? Well, as long as you can scrape together $45 (US), this Wealth Energy Attracting Kubera Yantra could help!

The Kubera Yantra is a very powerful, ancient sacred geometrical inscription on a copper plate. It is for invoking Lord Kubera, the Hindu cum Tibetan god of wealth and prosperity. It blesses the individual with sudden luck, wealth and prosperity.
This Yantra is used as a tool to attract the cosmic wealth energy, accumulation of riches, increase cash flow at home, etc. It opens up avenues for new sources of income.Worship of this Yantra is also recommended for superb growth in business, career & profession as well as increase in personal income & abundance.
Kubera yantra can be simply placed in safes, drawer, cash box, praying altar or any place where money is kept and can be worshipped without any special prayers or rituals by all races.

Such a remarkable device! But how does it work?

A Yantra works like a communicator between you and the universal forces, cosmic energies and gods. When a Mantra is chanted, the sound vibrations from the chanter's voice is first drawn onto the Yantra, from there it is reflected and transmitted out into the universe where it reaches the concerned God. The same vibration then gathers divine powers and blessings from him and returns back to the Yantra and again reflected back to the person who chanted the Mantra, thus instilling divinity into him and fulfilling his wishes. It's a guaranteed way of your prayers being heard, according to ancient Hindu scriptures.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:49 | View blog reactions

August 28, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Chakra cleansing kit

Is the central axis of your being feeling lousy? Vital energies lacking? Why splash out on a relaxing holiday when, for a mere $49.99 (US), you can have a Complete Chakra Cleansing Kit instead?

This kit is designed for those of you working to balance all seven major chakras. All items in this kit have been appropriately empowered/blessed,and come with easy instructions.
The kit comes packaged in a box with a cloth pouch to carry the gem stones (patterns and colors of the pouch may vary)
Chakra Kit #1 includes:
7 drams of unique essential oils blends - one for each major chakra.
7 colored inscribed candles including: 1 red, 1 orange, 1 yellow, 1 green or pink, 1 blue, 1 Violet and 1 white or light violet
7 gemstones including: 1-garnet or blood stone, 1-carnelian or moonstone, 1-citrine or amber, 1-rose quartz or emerald, 1-aquamarine or turquoise, 1- sodalite or lapis and 1- amethyst or crystal
Plus easy to use instructions.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:43 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 26, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Christian Torch

Someone has sullied the classic lines of a Maglite, and you can now bid on this CHRISTIAN MAGLITE - MINIATURE FLASHLIGHT:

Here's a super neat gift for the Christian believer. We had these made up for a special promotion...and decided to offer the few remaining ones here on eBay.

It's a genuine MAG-LITE penlight with Jesus is the Light of the World on the barrel. It comes in a compact, latching carrying case with Energizer battery and a key-type lanyard that fastens onto the end of the barrel. This the the MAG-LITE SOLITARE, made in the USA, This is a brand new item. MAG-LITE has been an icon for flashlight quality since their inception. As a gift, this is REAL QUALITY.

Surely if Jesus really was the Light of the World, a torch would be utterly unnecessary?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:17 | View blog reactions

August 19, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Heaven Insurance

While clearing out my spam filters, my attention was caught by the words HEAVEN INSURANCE - NOW AVAILABLE - FOR THE FIRST TIME! . The web-bug-laden HTML message was fortunately unreadable on my machine, but appears to be identical to the web site:

I don't know about you, but I definitely want to go to Heaven. I live my life according to God's will and like many of us, I'm not perfect. I'm not sure if going to church is enough and figured that my family and friends could use a little extra help. Heaven Insurance* will provide that help. That's why we created this certificate and it is already helping people all over the world!

For only $19.95 you can buy an insurance policy that will INSURE* your loved one's entrance into

God's Kingdom.

Your Heaven Insurance* certificate will remind and encourage your loved ones to keep their spirit true.

It will consistently remind them to work toward and remain on the path to better living and to take comfort in the ways and security that faith in The Lord provides.

The Certificate Says: To guarantee that the aforementioned individual shall go to Heaven at the end of their life on earth. It also contains a beautiful and important quote from Psalms 145:18 which states The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him sincerely.

See all those asterisks? You didn't think that spamming bastards would actually offer a legitimate product, did you? No, this attempt to sell expensive pieces of paper to the insecure is a gift/novelty item and is not an actual insurance policy. It is intended strictly as an artistic novelty designed to remind and encourage those with a true spirit to work toward and remain on the path to better living and to take comfort in the ways and security that faith in the lord [sic.] provides. And not a money-making scam. A similar attempt to fleece the gullible is this Ticket To Heaven we featured back in 2002.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:09 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

August 17, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Cross teabag tag

If your herbal tea is not sufficiently pure and holy, enhance it with this Tea Bag Tag with Cross dangle- semiprecious stones:

Tea bag tags add grace and charm to the traditionally awkward task of manipulating a tagless tea bag. This is a one-of-a-kind item, there is no other one exactly like it.
The clip measures approximately 1.1 inches in length, and is attached to the pendant by means of a split ring (a micro-version of a key ring). The pendant part is about 1.8 inches long, and includes six nickel-plated metal beads (3 mm diameter), two 8-mm limestone beads, and one oblong mother-of-pearl bead, which is approximately 10 mm long and 4 mm wide.
The pendant is formed on a wire to provide some stiffness (so you can hold it like a little toothpick). The howlite cross is a separate piece that dangles below.
I like this item because I'm one of those people who drinks tea made with tagless tea bags, and I get weary of trying to fish the teabag out of the cup using a spoon or a straw...the teabag tag works much better.
If you know someone else who has this dilemma, then this will be perfect gift item.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:17 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

August 5, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Jesus credit card

Christians can now be reminded of their faith every time they break their religion with a credit card bearing the three Calvary crosses.

Family Christian Stores nationwide are offering the new Mastercard with an image some Christians say their master wouldn't approve being on a charge card. Stone says she's heard a few comments both positive and negative from her customers.
There are some people who say that they don't think it's right for us to issue credit cards to go into debt. And our stand on it is we're not encouraging people to go into debt because we sell a lot of books that encourage them that if they use a credit card, to pay it off monthly.

And a customer reminded us that the United States money is unconsitutional:

Store Customer Rusty Parenteau believes all of our money came from God to begin with. I think it's a great idea, it's a great witnessing tool. In God We Trust is already printed on all American currency, and many people have Christian symbols on their checks.

Whatever happened to them being the number of the beast?

Jesus Credit Card Raises a Few Eyebrows - KCRG-TV9 News (via Religion News Blog), 4th August 2004.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:23 | View blog reactions

August 3, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Jesus photomosaic

[Jesus photomosaic]Who knew that a simple computer could produce something as inspired as this Amazing Lithograph Mosaic of Jesus Christ!! Made up of over 1500 inspirational photos!!!!? Obviously, the vendor credits the Lord, rather than Steve Jobs, for the automatically-generated masterpiece known as The Believe Print, and claims it has special magickal powers too.

An absolutely amazing print that has been featured on National Televison and Radio Programs and brings strength to all who own it.
One of the most beautiful pieces of art of our Lord Jesus Christ ever produced, The Believe Print is a Limited Edition 18 X 24 lithograph print of the face of Jesus. Professionally printed on a gorgeous lithograph type stock, this print from a distance appears to be an INCREDIBLY sharp fine art black and white print of Jesus. BUT, when you get up close to it, you will notice that the print is ACTUALLY MADE UP OF OVER 1500 SMALLER EASILY VISABLE CRYSTAL CLEAR *FULL COLOR* Religious, inspirational and nature images. Thats right. FULL COLOR smaller images make up this incredible BLACK AND WHITE print! Over 7000 prints have been sold to date and there is a limited printing of 10,000 worldwide. It has to be seen to be believed! This item makes a fantastic gift for those special people in your life who are going through a tough time right now, or just appreciate the power of The Lord.
*Scans in no way represent the quality of this item. These are LOW resolution scans just to give you an idea of how amazing this item is. The smaller images are CRYSTAL CLEAR IN VIVID COLOR* Good Luck on this AMAZING nationally known print.

Strangely, the power of The Lord is not credited in the seller's other auctions for similar prints featuring the likes of Britney Spears.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:36 | View blog reactions

August 2, 2004

Bargain of the Day: portable ritual kit

The neopagans of today are apparently not as magickally adept as the pioneers of their faith, and are not capable of just doing it with their outstretched forefinger. These days, it seems, a Wicca/wiccan portable ritual kit is a must, to ensure that the modern witch has just the right gadgets at all times:

Her is an interesting piece we developed to overcome the problems of the travelling Pagan. We developed a kit that can be easily dis assembled, and folded into a soft roll a little more than eight inche long and five inches in diameter so that you have no reason to miss another full moon or sabbat again. This kit includes a 7 inch athame, a pentacle cloth, sealed chalace, an incense burner for cones, and five hand painted candle placements, with the Alchemical symbols painted into the face. Each piece comes with a sewn pouch, and to start it all, we include the candles and the incense! The kit is ready for consecration, all you need to supply is your book of shadows, and the wine for the chalice. The Mini chalice is sealable, so that you may prepare the kit before travel, that way there is no need to fumble around for a fragile wine bottle. A one page destruction sheet is also supplied to show the symbols and placements.

The knife means it has to go in checked luggage though.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:26 | View blog reactions

August 1, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Buddha Duck

[Buddah rubber duckie]More ironic commentary than serious religious tat, this Buddha Celebriduck should bring serenity to any bathtime.

This is a one of a kind collectible item. The Buddha Duck is hand painted and individually numbered. There are only 1500 available. They are made out of a non-toxic material. They make a great present and will be a wonderful addition to your tub, spa or pond. They were made in gratitude for my closest friend's recovery from cancer.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:14 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

July 31, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Fossil plus tall tale

Fossils are a complete pain, what with them giving credence to that satanic evolutionist conspiracy and all. Obviously they can't possibly be evidence of life on Earth from before God created it, so they must be something else. How does MOUNT SINAI STONE WITH IMPRINTS OF THE BURNING BUSH sound?

[A rock with plant fossils]Have you EVER seen A Holy GRANITE STONE from MOUNT SINAI with REAL PATCHES of THE BURNING BUSH NATURALLY IMPRINTED on it,with the passing of CENTURIES?

WE GUESS NOT,UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN A PILGRIM TO MOUNT SINAI,AND,VISITED THE HOLY MONASTERY OF Saint CATHERINE.

The Holy Monastery which had been established during the 6th Century by Emperor JUSTINIAN of THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE.The Holy Monastery that NEVER interrupted its Mission to the GLORY of OUR LORD.

Originally called THE HOLY MONASTERY OF THE TRANSFIGURATION OF OUR LORD,having changed its name to THE HOLY MONASTERY OF Saint CATHERINE,in the 8th Century,after the Holy Relics of Saint Catherine were found on Mount Sinai.

We are herewith listing a Granite Holy Stone from Mount SINAI,with IMPRINTS,GROWN in them,of THE BURNING BUSH...

...Can you resist in acquiring one such HOLY stone,that dates back about 3,000 years?...

...NO SUCH ITEMS EXIST ANYWHERE ON EBAY,or,ON ANY OTHER AUCTIONS COMPANY.

WE ARE BLESSED BY HOLY MONASTERIES TO CARRY THE RAREST HOLY ITEMS IN THE WORLD.

Dimensions of these Holy Rocks with leaves of The Burning Bush vary.

The one we,herewith present is:4.00" Length X 3.00" Height.

A Holy,Blessed,and,Miraculous Ribbon of The Girdle of OUR VIRGIN will accompany this Most Holy Stone,as,A GIFT TO THE SUCCESFUL BIDDER.

BID ON IT AND ACQUIRE A MOST RARE HOLY STONE.

VIEW THE LEAVES OF THE BURNING BUSH.

ALL HOLY ITEMS AND HOLY ICONS WE PRESENT ARE BLESSED AND CONSECRATED WITH HOLY WATER.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:04 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

July 28, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Eternal Light Cross

What a tasteful testimony to someone who has passed on - a battery-operated solar powered cemetery cross:

This lasting memorial is designed to fit in the vase at graveside for a gentle reminder of the love felt for that person.
A warm glowing light will illuminate the grave each night and give the grieving family comfort in knowing their loved one is not forgotten.
The durable maintenance free cross is made of weather resistant acrylic. It stands 14" tall (not including the ground mount) 10" wide and 3" in depth. The special solar cell allows for the batteries (included) to be recharged everyday.

The light isn't all that eternal though, so don't expect it to do much illuminating of long winter nights:

The Eternal Light Cross will illuminate for 5 hours or more depending on the time of year and amount of sunlight.
Each Eternal Light Cross comes with a one year warranty and a theft replacement offer.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:49 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

July 24, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Feng Shui paint

Want to create a relaxing environment? Craig & Rose have produced just the thing - a range of Feng Shui paints. As an example, the Crystal Pearl paint

is ideal for introducing Feng Shui into your home or garden. Use on woodwork, furniture, accessories, walls or radiators to enhance your surroundings, and create a beautiful and washable surface. Allow Heaven's Chi (energy) to flow freely by using Crystal Pearl Paint: Its pearlescent surface will reflect Chi and help bring prosperity, health and happy living.

And, should you get stuck, there is always the 9 Star Ki chart for inspiration.

Each of these five elements are associated with certain colour groupings, so once you have identified your ruling element you can use this as a guide as to which colours are likely to enhance harmony in your home, and encourage peace and happiness for you, as well as which colours you are better to avoid as they may disrupt the flow of Chi energy around your home.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:15 | View blog reactions

July 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Virgin Mary lamp

[Virgin Mary lamp base]This THE VIRGIN MARY STATUE TABLE LAMP with its DOME GLASS ARTISTIC DESIGNE is another example of tasteful home decoration:

HAVE HERE A VIRGIN MARY STATUE TABLE LAMP. 60 WATT LIGHT, EXCELLENT CONDITION, ROUND PLASTIC BASE, HEAVY GLASS DOME COVER.GOLD TRIM AND FLORAL DESIGN.MEASUREMENTS ARE 18" TALL BY ABOUT 9" WIDE IT WIEGHS ABOUT 10 LBS . VERY CLEAN HARDLY USED. I HOPE THE PHOTOS CAN SPEAK FOR ITS SELF.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:23 | View blog reactions

July 21, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Light-up cross pen

Does this Inspiration light-up cross pen help you create illuminated manuscripts?

This auction is for some Inspirational Light-Up Pens. I have five in each color of these beautiful cross pens. These pens glow their respective colors of blue or pink when you write. The batteries come with and already are in the pens so there is no hassle with batteries. There is also a cap to the pen end. The crosses on them have the raised 'pyramid' or 'quilted' effect. They are approximately five inches long and would make a perfect gift for someone who is graduating this year or anyone religious really. Just let me know after you win how many you want and what color and I will do my best.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:33 | View blog reactions

July 20, 2004

Bargain of the Day: A circular argument

I'm not quite sure what blueking234 is trying to sell us in this eBay auction for Encryption Decoder Device, Breached Internet Security 666 = Internet dismantiling = Novus Ordo Seclorum

Deut 3: 11 + Chad Gad Ya = Exodus 3.14 = 1492 Columbus discovers America

Revelation 13

Prime #s = numerical progression in non discernible pattern

Numerical non-discernible pattern = undecipherable encryption (based on prime #s)

Undecipherable Encryption = un-breach able security system PC/Server w/Internet WWW. = world financial markets/ Wall Street and banking, global positioning satellites, ATMs, credit card billing, utilities and their billing, flight travel, ship routing, police court and DMV records, government office communications including military, radio microwave radar satellite communications, even the big red button.

Decoder of PC encryption = Prime # progression pattern digital function

Prime # Progression Pattern = Enigma Cipher PrimeWay

Enigma Cipher PrimeWay =

12 22 32 52 72 112 132 172 192 232 292 372 ... etc.

1 4 9 25 49 121 169 289 361 529 841 1369 ...etc

p = 3.14925491211692893615298411369

true precision Pi decimals

1a1 7a49 13a169 37a1369

Progressive whole number square roots are progressively greater prime numbers add finitum down the Pi decimal digit places. (The true precision Pi calculation that is.)

Software Update- Handheld scientific calculators with their flyspeck memory capacities can scroll the true precision Pi decimal place calculation to a few dozen decimal places. But this same program installed onto a PC can calculate infinite Pi indefinitely, pre-listing the whole square of an ever-increasing prime number. Graft piggyback onto this ever-advancing Pi calculation, a square root analyzer, sampling the pre-listed ever-advancing decimal numeral for whole square roots. These whole number square roots are the next size prime number in an infinite progression. Ipso facto, prime # progression digital function.

Enigma Cipher PrimeWay = Prime # progression pattern digital function

Prime # progression pattern digital function = Decoder of PC encryption (all!)

Decoder of PC encryption = BREACHED security system PC/Server w/Internet WWW. = world financial markets/ Wall Street and banking, global positioning satellites, ATMs, credit card billing, utilities and their billing, flight travel, ship routing, police court and DMV records, government office communications including military, radio microwave radar satellite communications, even the big red button.

Breached PC security system = Internet dismantling = Novus Ordo Seclorum

4 + 9 + 25 + 49 + 121 + 169 + 289 = 666 3.1492549121169289 Seven of Nine

Launch confirmed � T minus and counting�

Right. Current price? $1.01.

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July 18, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bits of dead tree

Inspired Woods of the Bible offer what they describe as Unique, Meaningful, Christian Gifts.

At Inspired Woods: Of The Bible we offer high quality, hand-crafted, Christian gifts that are made in the U.S.A. using woods that are mentioned in the Bible.

Items such as pens, keyrings, pens, magnifying glasses, pens, bookmarks and more pens.

And while explaining what inspired them to do this, they remind us of the hypocrisy of certain televangelists who accuse Muslims of being more committed to their religion than their country:

In Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, he introduces the idea of a spiritual green card and that Christians should carry one to remind them that their true citizenship is in heaven:
For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ - Philippians 3:20 (NASB)
It is from this thought that these products have been made and Inspired Woods: Of The Bible was born. These items make wonderful Christian or religious gifts for any occasion,
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:21 | View blog reactions

July 15, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Christian Healing Spell

Feeling a little under the weather? Out of sorts? Terminally ill? Well, all you need to do is put this magic spell MIRACULOUS PRAYER FOR THE SICK cassette in your walkthing, and soon you will be right as rain.

60 MINUTES OF WORSHIP AND PRAYER FOR THE SICK.
NO MATTER WHAT YOUR NEED IS, YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR MIRACLE FROM GOD!
CANCER?, DEPRESSION?, ARTHRITIS?, DEBT?, LONLINESS?, LOSS, GRIEF?, JUST TO NAME A FEW... YOU CAN BE WELL! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH SICKNESS OR DISEASE! PURCHASE THIS CASSETTE AND SHARE IT WITH OTHERS! POWER PACKED PRAYER! TESTIMONIES OF MIRACLES HAVE BEEN RECEIVED! CANCER HEALED! KIDNEYS HEALED! FINANCIAL BREAKTHROUGHS! FAMILIES RESTORED! BLOOD DISORDERS CLEARED UP! AND THE LIST IS GROWING... IT IS NOT DUE TO ANYTHING WE ARE DOING. IT IS THE POWER OF GOD MOVING UPON PEOPLE!!! 60 MINUTES OF WORSHIP AND PRAYER-LISTEN TO IT DAILY-SHARE IT!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:01 | View blog reactions

July 8, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Autosnip

A simple medical device might not seem to qualify as a Bargain of the Day, but the SmartKlamp website comes in four languages - English, Arabic, Turkish and Bahassa, and is full of pictures of happy Asian boys, suggesting that a Muslim customer would be particularly interested in the device - a new, one time use only, circumcision tool, which is designed to create, a safer, faster, and smarter way to perform circumcisions. Plus, it requires the foreskin to be pulled back, which would be completely impossible if the device was being used for the traditional treatment of phimosis. (via Gizmodo, who came up with the much funnier name Bris-O-Matic.)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:03 | View blog reactions

June 29, 2004

Another Bargain of the Day: Christian computer games

Mac users - fed up that most games developers either don't want your money at all, or think you have the patience to wait several years before giving it to them? Well, never fear Digital Praise understands, and their two new games will be available for both your favourite computer, and bug-ridden virus spreaders in the autumn. One problem: the company mission statement reads To glorify God through the development of software for children, teenagers and families that spreads the gospel of Jesus Christ while entertaining, enlightening and encouraging faith.. They claim their games will foster cooperation, forgiveness, tolerance and kindness, which is somewhat odd, given the company's rather cosy relationship with homophbic hate group Focus on the Family. It's first two games are based on their Adventures in Odyssey radio programme (and I bet that isn't a dramatisation of homoerotic Greek myths), and they will be sharing the Focus on the Family booth at a forthcoming trade show. (via MacCentral)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:22 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: Prayer Bear

My Prayer Bear is yet another gadget designed to ease the brainwashing of innocent children.

Developed for families of all faiths, this cuddly little prayer bear encourages children to say their prayers. Soft and reassuring, the bear will become a constant friend anc companion. Five bibs hold specially selected prayers for every part of life: *When I Eat *When I Play *When I am Sad *When I Sleep *When I Wake
By: Pockets of Learning
Size: 11"
Comments: 2 years and up
Educational Highlights: Children can learn to recite these prayers using pictures as visual clues * Encourages interaction between child and adult - reading prayers before bedtime * Rhyming will also encourage child to remember and read the prayers aloud
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:19 | View blog reactions

June 28, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Saint Guadalupe Quartz Clock

This spectacular contemporary rococco Saint Guadalupe Quartz Clock can only enhance your living room with its sleek, modern lines:

Intricately hand painted statue and monument of Saint Guadalupe with Quartz Clock. Made of heavy cast resin with Arabic numerals. Stands 12" tall Uses 1 AA battery. (not included)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 08:10 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

June 27, 2004

Bargain of the Day: war toys

Help your child grow up into a young thug by giving them plastic weapons to bash their mates with. No, that can't be right, you see this Full Armor Of God Child Play Set is A Christian Character-Building Costume.

Play and learn about God's protection for Spiritual Battle. Complete set based on Ephesians 6:13-18, for ages 3 and up. Each item is made of molded, flexible plastic designed to fit most children. Adjustable straps and velcro allow children to wear certain pieces. Each item is labeled in order to recall God's Word. The set includes: The Sword of the Spirit, the Helmet of Salvation, the breastplate of Righteousness, the Belt of Truth, the Shield of Faith, the Gospel of Peace Shin Guards, and a Parent-Teacher Guide with suggested activities and scripture verses. Box may have some wear do to shipping, but the contents are in perfect condition.

Bet the little brats just go out and play soldiers in it.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:40 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

June 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Creepy Jesus Antenna

Europe: There are European companies that specialise in camouflaged mobile masts and antennae, as a panacaea to those that find the things eyesores. One firm is now manufacturing an antenna disguised as a crucifix, intended to go on the steeples of churches. Get your creepy Jesus mobile antenna now!

European companies are finding ingenious ways to disguise ugly, but necessary, mobile phone antenna masts. Customers can pick everything from trees to crucifixes.
Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Creepy Jesus Antenna"
Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 08:00 | View blog reactions

June 4, 2004

Bargain of the day: Celtic Mahjong

It's rare for Neopagans to be marketed at - the Pagan Pound just doesn't have the buying power of a Pink one. But where there's a niche, there's someone willing to sell into it. Take Rhiannon's Realm: Celtic Mahjong Solitaire, for example, or more precisely, the blurb:

The first release by Evil Genius Games, Rhiannon's Realm is a Celtic take on the classic mahjong solitaire game. Tackle more than 65 challenging levels of stunning Celtic-themed artwork, to save the seasons of the year from an evil spell. Take your pick of 13 beautiful images to use as desktop wallpaper.

In its favour, it's quite pretty, and available for Mac OS X 10.2 or higher as well as various Windows.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:26 | View blog reactions

June 2, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Light-up torture scene

No dungeon could possibly be complete without this charming Crystal with Cross embedded inside with Lights:

Crystal Cube comes with small platform. Platform shines flashing lights through crystal making the Jesus on the Cross embedded in the crystal cube come to life. Makes a very great gift. Bidding starts at one penny.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:35 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Singalonga Bible

How could you possibly live without this musical ceramic holy bible?

This piece is absolutely beautiful. It's the holy bible displaying a nativity scene of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus sitting on top of the bible. The Shepard in the front winds up to play the music box that plays away in the manger. It stands 10 inches high and 12 inches wide. This item is in perfect condition with no chips or cracks that I can see. The picture does not do this justice. Would be wonderful to display at Christmas time or any time.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:19 | View blog reactions

May 20, 2004

Bargain of the Day: mildly pagan wigs

Hurry - you have only three hours or so to buy this Lot of 45,000 wigs (shaitels) new&used perfect condtion, though I suspect the seller is extracting the urine somewhat:

Stock of 45,000 beautiful wigs. Wigs have never been used other than as tools in mild forms of pagan worship, unconventional Indian religious rituals and mild usage in ulra-orthodox Jewish circles. Seller takes no responsibility for any injuries, damage, harm or detriment that may result due to the presence of satanic or modern-orthodox spirits hovering in or around the wigs. These wigs are easy to care for and require nothing more than semiannual cleansing in unfiltered New York City water. Items are currently being stored at a secret undisclosed location and will be shipped via Moishe's moving company upon receipt of payment. Cash STRONGLY preferred. all styles, long, short, hat-falls, falls...full color selection!

The following information was added later:

These high-quality wigs were originally purchased for $1000-4500 each and were sold to us as part of a religious reclamation campaign. Seller would consider bartering wigs for a similar size lot of hats.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:23 | View blog reactions

May 13, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Jewish bear

Sorry, but this Jewish bear is not a great, hairy, cut man. Indeed, this great gift for Hanukkah or Bat Mitzvah would appear to be a girl.

This cute bear is 12"(sitting) and is wearing a burgundy velvet dress...she is a must to have for every Jewish girl!!!This item is in mint condition with mint tag, from a smoking and pet free enviroment (brand new item). THANK YOU FOR LOOKING!

I must say that she doesn't look very happy.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:53 | View blog reactions

May 11, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Squishy ball thing

Chaplain Pat had a dream, and the result was not equality under the law, but the PrayBall:

All he wanted was to find a way for people to know the blessings that prayer will bring into their lives by healing from the inside out.

But PrayBall's powers do not extend to healing apostrophes:

PrayBall, is a spiritual device to evoke peace energy in you. Imagine PrayBall as a direct link to the heavens that brings your mind to the present moment, and relaxes your body for prayer, any time you want. PrayBall works on mind and body, as well as spirit, interconnecting you and GOD. The concept is similar to a rosary, prayer beads, and other prayer connecting objects, but it's space age materials, and shape are also a reminder to speak with GOD frequently and comfortably. So, pass the ball to a friend.

Those of you with Flash might like to leave a comment as to whether the Interview with God is as exciting as it sounds.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:12 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

May 10, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bible perfumes

Genesis Perfumes make scents of the Bible for Christians unhappy with the natural aroma God gave them.

We are excited to offer to you authentic Scents of the Bible TM. We are confident that you will find these perfumes from Biblical times truly Heavenly. All five fragrances are available in a 1oz/30ml Frosted glass bottle w/gold cap. Each is beautifully packaged in a clear display box and is excellent to give as a unique spiritual gift, even to yourself! We hope that you wear them knowing their spiritual significance and use them for your personal spiritual growth, and as a tool for witnessing to others.
Our anointing oils are available in all 5 Scents of the Bible fragrances. Each is available in a 1oz/30ml or 4oz/120ml Amber Boston Round Bottle. All oils are blessed and sealed with a tamper evident cap to assure absolute purity. We use only the finest imported Extra Virgin Olive, Essential and Fragrance oils.

The fragrances are Spikenard, Frankincese and Myrhh, Song of Solomon, Lily of the Valley and Rose of Sharon. They also produce Miracle Serum for those who can't accept that God intended them to age, and room scents for failed Christian housewives.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:41 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

May 6, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Jesus comes 2 play doll

Eric Morecambe will be powering the national grid when he hears about the God Squad and Friends Jesus Comes 2 Play doll:

He Sings! Press his Red Heart and He will sing You Are My Sunshine.
He wears a Cross Necklace! Matching One including for your child too!
Comb His Hair! Just like Yours!
He Prays! His hands can hold together to pray.
He's Soft! And Always Ready to Give a Hug!
His Clothes and Sandals are Removable!

So why would a good Christian child want to do that?

He's Big and 17 inches Tall!
... And Most of All, Jesus Comes 2 Play! is Full of Fun and Love!
Buy Now: $29.95
100% Satisfaction Guarantee

(via Spell Bound)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:54 | View blog reactions

April 24, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Ark of the Covenant

United States: Okay, so at US$10,000,000 it's no one's idea of a bargain and blindingly obvious a case of the seller playing silly buggers, but it's worth a look for the text alone:

This is a recreated Ark of the Covenant, the story of its recreation has been told in the Bonners Ferry Herald, 7183 main, Bonners ferry, Idaho 83805 208-267-5521. It must be noted that this recreated Ark of the Covenant is doing every thing just like the original did 3500 years ago.

Ark of the Covenant - eBay, 18th April 2004 (via Darren Barefoot).

Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 07:11 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

April 23, 2004

Bargain of the day: cuddly Anubis

Keep your plush Cthulhu company with this Anubis, God of the Dead Plush:

Egyptian god of the dead, represented as a black jackal or dog, or as a man with the head of a dog or jackal. After the early period of the Old Kingdom, he was superseded by Osiris as god of the dead, being relegated to a supporting role as a god of the funeral cult and of the care of the dead. The black colour represented the colour of human corpses after they had undergone the embalming process. In the Book of the Dead, he was depicted as presiding over the weighing of the heart of the deceased in the Hall of the Two Truths. His principal sanctuary was at the necropolis in Memphis and in other cities.
This poseable plush stands nearly 12 inches tall. Decked out in gold and jewels, this plush is a true representation of the God of the Dead.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:34 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

April 22, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Engraved stones

Orand1 sells laser etched stones. But they are not just any old pebble - take this Holy land-engraved pebble from the Jordan river - Cross as an example:

This is a Laser engraved pebble which was picked and sorted by myself at the Jordan river in Israel. Engraving shows a Holy Cross.
Has an amazing smooth feel to it. Keep one in your pocket or give as a present to an important person.
Pebble is about 2" long.
No two pebbles alike - size and color may differ slightly.
Pebble comes in a recycled carton gift box with a certification of authenticity as shown.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:44 | View blog reactions

April 18, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Grandpa's Guardian Angel Visor Clip

Distract an old man while he's driving, with this On the Wings of an Angel Grandpa's Guardian Angel Visor Clip:

This auction features a travel angel visor clip for Grandpa. The clip is of an angel and the saying on it reads Grandpa's Guardian Angel Please Travel Safely. It clips on the visor of a car. This would be a great gift for that special grandparent.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:13 | View blog reactions

April 17, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Evangelical magic trick

I thought magic, even pretend magic, was forbidden by the Bible, but it seems it must be okay to use it to evangelise at particularly gullible and stupid people if this Ten Commandment Rating Pen is anything to go by:

Description: The Trick's Purpose for unsaved a Non-Christian: Too get the spectator's interest and present the gospel using the WDJD What Did Jesus Do method of evangelism using the ten commandments taught by Living Waters Ministries. Training CD included Hell's Best Kept Secret - taught by Kirk Cameron from the Left Behind movies. Included also is a routine for the Christian audience that reminds them that in Christ they are a perfect.
The 1st Performance: Begin by borrowing a bill from spectator or (use a track like the Jesus bill we included), let them mark the bill, take the bill and stab the pen right through the bill, pull the pen from the bill, hand the bill and pen back to the spectator to inspect, (There is No hole in bill and the pen appears completely normal.
2nd Performance What they see: You begin by showing the pen in left hand and a dime and penny in left hand. You place dime in their hand and ask them to make a fist around this coin. Then you place a penny on top of their fist and tap the penny with your analysis pen and instantly the penny and dime switch places.
Instructions on how to perform and what to say are included. Both performances are simple and easy to do and take only 10 minutes to learn each routine.

It's an interesting message and perfect for convincing the infidel that Christianity is nothing but an inane trick.

Update: Here's a whole catalogue of evangelical conjuring tricks!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:20 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

April 16, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bill Stross collectibles

You can find some interesting sites while looking for something completely different. Inspirations Catholic/Christian Gifts and Books claims We offer a wide selection to inspire spiritual growth and beautiful gift solutions to celebrate life's special moments!!, which sounds like a site full of delightful bargains to me. Of particular interest, is the page of 'collectibles' by one Bill Stross (presumably not related) - a collection of sculptures featuring cute kids and their equally saccharine guardian angels. Each is accompanied by an explanation by the artist:

When m wife and I took our two boys into bed at night, I hear echoes of myself as a child in their whispers, Please make sure there are no monsters under the bed. There's nothing to be afraid of, the Angels are watching over you. They nod off to sleep with a simple smile, comforted in that promise. The innocent fears of a child remind me that there really is nothing to be afraid of in life! He's way bigger than the Boogie Man.

Scroll down for other ranges of angel delight.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:32 | Comments (5) | View blog reactions

April 15, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Tiffany-style Rapture lamp

Light up the End Times with this Tiffany - style Rapture Accent Lamp RETAIL PRICE: $99.00:

The captivating Rapture lamp has been handcrafted using methods first developed by Louis Comfort Tiffany. The beautiful shade contains 375 pieces of stained glass, each hand cut and wrapped in fine copper foil. Measuring 7 inches in diameter, the shade includes vivid colors in light beige, aqua blue, teal green and mauve. Please note that the shades colors will be darker and less vibrant when not illuminated. Standing approximately 11.5 inches tall, the cast metal base has an elegant bronze-tone finish and boasts one candelabra socket to accommodate one 40-watt bulb. A UL approved Line switch cord allows easy operation.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:28 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

April 7, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Motorcycle pulpit

I hope this VINTAGE MOTORCYCLE PODIUM/PULPITwas made from a wreck, and not a perfectly good bike:

Actual Front End of a Used Motorcycle.
Horn & Headlight Function off of a 6 volt battery.
Front Wheel Moves Freely & Front Break Works.
AWESOME FOR A YOUTH ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GREAT ADDITION FOR ANY ORGANIZATION!!!
Will Bring Out The KID In Anybody!!!!
Shipping Costs: $100.00 Will ship within 2 wks after full pymt is received.
DON'T LET THIS ONE DRIVE BY YOU......BID NOW!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:25 | View blog reactions

April 5, 2004

Bargain of the Day: haunted Voodoo idol

Fill that annoying gap on your shelves with this HAUNTED POSSESSED VOODOO IDOL HUMAN BONE!

Another fabulous estate sale find. This hideous strange old tribal fetish is made of bone (human?) and hair. Just touching it creeps me out.
Looking for something truly authentic for your haunt or home? Something that will be the envy of your friends and perfectly illustrate your unique and interesting taste? Then this antique statue may just have what you are looking for..
If anyone has info on the origins of this strange little man, let me know.
This was aquired from a Hollywood estate sale where the owner collected macabre antiques!
As for the fetish itself, it's probably worth something. This large unique tribal witchcraft idol it is carved out of bone --yuk!--with primitive carvings . The hair looks realistic - I hope it didn't belong to someone!
This is an impressive piece - primitive and tribal. .
! "I know about all these proven hoaxes around the internet of Haunted Paintings and Haunted items. Yet i have no intention in doing that. I only collect genuine haunted artifacts and hunt for them all over, that is a well proven fact, by many, many people who have bought from me. Yet now claims have turned to proof for me. I did my own investigation on this statue in my lving room, and the results are amazing. My door would close by itself and the lights would often flicker on and off. I think a ghost is either attatched to the statue, or is possessing it to get our attention. Sure it scares me as hell, and at the moment the statue is hidden by me. I just took these snaps and rushed it back into the garage There is nothing as scary as something that is possessed, and after having 3 different witnesses to this, i found it hard to believe, yet now im eating up my own words. Im shocked.
This is a real haunted idol. very freaky buy at your own risk..
This auction is for an antique possessed tribal statue in amazing condition, just a small piece.
My reasoning for listing this is, serious bidders would be interested in an object that could actually be haunted.
!;
!!.
Way too creepy!!!"
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:16 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

April 3, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Used Aluminum Church Steeple

A church is being put to a much better use as a homeless shelter, so there's a 36-38 Foot Used Aluminum Prefabricated Church Steeple up for auction:

In very good condition. Included: 4 All thread bolts used to attach to roof structure platform. Steeple will be removed from roof top on 4/17/04. Seller will have a crane availalble at no charge to place the steeple on buyer's transport unit at that time (4/17/04). Buyer is responsible for pick up and transport. If buyer cannot pick up the steeple on 4/17/04 then the buyer will be responsible for transferring steeple from the ground to their transport unit, at the buyer's expense.

Just the thing for the gothic garden.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:27 | View blog reactions

April 2, 2004

Bargain of the Day: DIY Hell House Kit

United States: Always eager to cash in on whatever the cool kids are doing, a group of loony fundies have cottoned onto a recent ploy by the evangelicals to create hell houses for Halloween with the intention of literally scaring the hell out of the mindless and gullible. Figuring that evangelicals aren't too hip to anything creative, there are several groups who sell DIY kits.

Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: DIY Hell House Kit"
Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 02:23 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

March 30, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Passover frog pin

Passover starts on the 5th, and just in time is this *Green FROGS!* Adorable Passover Pin!!!! (Judaica). Even though it is quite cute, and not obviously religious tat, the Prattle's Jewish tat correspondent assures me it is religious tat due to the marketing:

AAAUUUGGGHHH! IT'S THE SECOND PLAGUE!!!!!!
***SO CUTE!!***
Passover is coming! What a fun thing to wear for Passover, or if you love frogs!
All of my jewelry is handmade of colorful polymer clay *by me*. These frog pins measure approximately 1 1/4 inches in diameter. Since these pins are handmade, they will all be exactly alike, only different!! ; )

Matching earrings are available, and the vendor apparently makes fun jewellery for all the Jewish holidays. There must be one or two for which 'fun jewellery' is singularly inappropriate.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 08:59 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

March 26, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Another Christian spell kit.

It must be that time of year, or something, for here is Saint Jospeh the Faithful Helper, yet another home selling kit.

For centuries, thousands of faithful have placed their hopes and trust in the power of St. Joseph.
Through devout prayer and petition, ask Saint Joseph to grant your needs and desires. Keep Saint Joseph The Faithful Helper on your property as a sign of your conviction. Most important is the expression of your faith in him through daily prayer. A beautiful card with a prayer to Saint Joseph is provided.
Remember, Saint Joseph has never been known to ignore those who truly believe!

This tan-coloured plastic statue stands 10cm high and also comes in a version with Saint Joseph holding a child. The manufacturer's recommended price is $4.30, or you can get it from eBay for a mere $12.95!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:32 | View blog reactions

March 25, 2004

Bargain of the Day: St. Joseph home sale kit

We have a rival bargain to the Saint Joseph Home Seller Kit mentioned back in July (and now available for $7.95 (US) through The Catholic Company). But The Authentic St. Joseph Home Sale Practice is a much tackier item, being plastic and not resin:

This Kit includes a Statue of St Joseph, An Introduction, The way of St Joseph and A Petition to St. Joseph.

When the auction expires, this particular product, minus the Authentic, is available for a mere $6.95 (US) from Divinity Religious Gifts. They have more information, and a claim:

Can't sell your home? Ask St. Joseph. St. Joseph has helped 1000s sell their home. St. Joseph Home Sale Kit includes directions, statue, and prayer card.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:23 | View blog reactions

March 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: MOST POWERFUL PRAYER CLOTH

We've featured a prayer cloth before, but this MOST POWERFUL PRAYER CLOTH makes some very specific claims:

This is the MOST POWERFUL PRAYER CLOTH. Many have experienced supernatural occurances after receiving one of these. MIRACLES ARE TAKING PLACE! One man wrote: As soon as I opened my mail, I felt the very presence of GOD. Another person wrote:I RECEIVED 2 JOB OFFERS. 1 PAID 3 TIMES AS MUCH AS I EVER EXPECTED! Another wrote: This is incredible! MY CHILD CAME BACK HOME AND FOUND A JOB THAT VERY DAY! I, myself have experienced several miraculous events. Suddenly, all my bills are being paid! People are giving me things that I really need. I also got a half price meal today-for no reason. This is incredible folks! TESTIMONY AFTER TESTIMONY YOU JUST GOT TO GET ONE OF THESE!

A similar ploy was used by televangelist Bob Tilton. According to The Skeptiseum:

One of Tilton's ploys was to send a miracle package that included a swatch of fabric called a Miracle Prayer Cloth ... and a tiny package of Anointing Oil. The former was to be returned--with money--so that Reverend Bob could pray over your cloth.

The taxman eventually caught up with Tilton:

Tilton responded to the IRS and other investigators by saying he was being persecuted.

South Africa's Spirit Word Ministries also offers its own Prayer Cloth, but at least this one is free to print out. It features a handprint with an advertisement for the Ministries' TV show and web site, and the words God has really anointed Kobus van Rensburg in this ministry of miracles - carry this cloth with you or just put your hand on the hand of Kobus & agree for your miracle.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:19 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

March 22, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Religious colouring hats

JANIE'S COLORING HATS is an eBay store specialising in paper hats for colouring in, and it has a substantial selection of Judaica. For a mere $20 (US), you can obtain a mixed selection of 100 Jewish Coloring Hats, with themes such as Chanukah and other festivals, Kosher foods and Hebrew. There is also a set of Bible coloring hats, and there's a special bonus, too!

INCLUDED IN YOUR ORDER WILL BE A LOVELY ASSORTMENT OF OTHER COLORING HAT THEMES including HAPPY EASTER, CHRISTMAS, GOD BLESS AMERICA and THANKSGIVING.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:50 | View blog reactions

March 20, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bible-Zines for Boys

United States: From the loony fundies who brought you the bible-zine for girls, here's the version for boys. It's got to be hip, look there's a guitar, snowboarder and flamey logo on the cover. I'm betting that the most use this magazine is going to get is as a handy cover for hiding stroke mags from parents.

The world's largest publisher of religious material is selling the sizzle along with the solemn in a line of Bible-zines — repackaged Bibles aimed at hip Christian teen-agers.
Leaning on the successful slogan of famous Depression-era salesman Elmer Wheeler — Don't sell the steak, sell the sizzle — Transit Books, the teen division of publisher Thomas Nelson, adopted the eye-popping format of mainstream teen magazines to create Revolve, a four-color, 388-page New Testament for teen-age girls.
The smashing success of Revolve, a one-time magazine that went on sale in July for $14.99, has led to the planned Easter launch of Refuel, a Bible-zine aimed at teen-age boys.
Revolve, which has no advertising, excerpts easy-to-digest biblical passages to answer the tough questions teen-agers often ask. Woven throughout is an easy-to-read Bible in a flashy format so teen-agers might feel more comfortable paging through it in public.
We've found a way to make the word of God exciting, relevant and fun for young women again, said Transit Books brand manager Laura Whaley.
Revolve does not duck once-forbidden topics, with one reviewer likening it to Seventeen magazine, only saintlier.

It will come as no surprise to anyone that the subjects in both mags are identical bar the gender switch. I'm guessing the target audience is judged as being none too bright.

Bible-Zine for Boys Set for Easter Launch - Reuters, 16th March 2004.

Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 04:07 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

March 17, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bible Handkerchief

Show how much you respect the Word of God by blowing your nose on this green Bible snotrag:

Green, cotton/poly blend, 22" X 22" , machine wash, red lettering.**THANK GOD FOR A MIRACLE** with open Bible showing the scripture ***...And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them. Acts 19:11***
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:25 | View blog reactions

March 15, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Plane crazy

You've seen the religious foam gliders before, but they were a little dull. So how about these Color-your-Own Religious Gliders?

5 3/4" X 6" Plastic Foam Religious Color-Your-Own Gliders. Each With A Printed Paper Coating. Assorted Styles, Individually Packaged. Markers Not Included.. Price is for 1 dozen airplanes.

The styles illustrated are 'WWJD' and 'Fly with the Lord'. If you fancy something a little more jazzy, Oriental Trading offers CARDBOARD RELIGIOUS FLYING JETS and FOAM VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL GLIDERS. Perhaps you are somewhat concerned about the way these aircraft represent the triumph of human inginuity over God's Will (after all, He did not give us wings for a reason). So how about an evangelical toy which represents something which is in the sky to begin with? I have CATCH THE SPIRIT FOAM FLYING STARS in mind:

ONE DOZZEN CATCH THE SPIRIT FOAM FLYING STARS. 6INCH ROUND.MADE OF FOAM IN ASORTED COLORS.THE CENTERS COME OUT SO YOU CAN USE WITH OR WITH OUT.NEET-O- FUN INDOORS OR OUTDOORS.GREAT LITTLE HAND OUTS FOR SUNDAY SCHOOL OR VBS.

Perhaps you like to use more subtle evangelical techniques than are usually employed. How about using a traditional weapon to knock your victim out so they don't run away from your preaching? Oriental Trading (again) has just the thing - RELIGIOUS BOOMERANGS:

15 1/2" Plastic Religious Boomerangs. Each printed with SMILE! JESUS LOVES YOU! Assorted colors.

Available by the dozen.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 01:44 | View blog reactions

March 13, 2004

Barggain of the Day: MONEY, GOOD FORTURN, HEALTH

cujo525 offers an interesting personal service:

i AM A MINISTER AND MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS. i WILL PARYER FOR YOU PERSONALLY AND ASK MY FLOCK TO DO THE SAME EVERY DAY. pLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED AS I KNOW THEY WILL.

I'm not sure if he will pray in return for instructions on how to use the 'shift' key, but he will ship his prayers to the United States, Caribbean, Middle East, Mexico and Central America, Africa, South America, Asia, Australasia, Europe, Canada. His other auctions are worth checking out, as well.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:21 | View blog reactions

March 12, 2004

Bargain of the Day: The Holy Land Authentic Crown of Thorns

This perfect EostreEaster gift is, surprisingly, not being marketed as Passion of the Christ tat:

2000 years ago thorn bushes grew abundantly in the Holy Land -- today they still do but they are so hard to find. This is an authentic crown of thorns was hand-made in the city of Bethlehem in the Holy Land . It is symbolic of Christ' suffering and humiliation.

March 9, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Johnny Cash Reads The Complete New Testament

If the graphic and gratuitous violence of The Passion of the Christ really isn't your style, how about the more gentle sound of Johnny Cash Reads The Complete New Testament?

The New Testament of the New King James Version is read in its entirety by music legend Johnny Cash. After 20 years of encouragement from his mother to record the Bible, he approached the recording of the New Testament with fear, respect, awe, and reverence for the subject matter. Cash said further, I also did it with a great deal of joy, because I love the Word. In Johnny Cash Reads The Complete New Testament hear 19-hours of the Word of God from one of the most distinctive voices of our time. The legend of country music shows his spiritual greatness.

All yours for just $44.99 (US). Personally, I'd rather have K.D. Lang Reads Selections From Sappho. (Thanks, Tony).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:58 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

March 8, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Free Passion tat!

Today's bargain will cost you only postage, because Passion of the Christ Materials are giving away 'fan kits' for The Passion of the Christ. Why? Because they believe

Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" will be one of the most influential films in history. Never before have the final hours of Christ's life been so vividly portrayed. Be a part of this monumental film release by ordering one of the officially licensed Fan Packs.

After all, giving people posters, stickers, postcards and door hangers is nearly as cheap as spamming, and more effective than that as advertising.

March 6, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Miracle II Soap

At first glance, Heartland Enterprises appears to be a typical vendor of environmentally-friendly cleaning products and water filters. But read the FAQ:

* What are the ingredients of Miracle II Soap? (What's on the label?)
The FDA does not regulate the contents of soap. The inventor of Miracle II Products, Clayton Tedeton, has decided not to reveal the exact formula, and therefore the exact answer to that question is between him and God.
What we do know is from the label on the Miracle II Soap bottle, which reads thus:
The most complex mixture of natural minerals and organics that has ever been blended together. Miracle II is a spiritually revealed, formulated product. Contains: Prayer - Electrically engineered eloptic energized stabilized oxygenated water - Ash of Dedecyl solution - Dehydrabiethylamine - Clacium - Potassium - Magnesium - Foaming agent - Cold pressed Acovado - Almond - Olive & Coconut Oils - Vitamin E - Miracle II contains and holds spiritual and eloptic energy.

But hang on, could this be the work of Satan? Liberty To The Captives is a Christian website focussing on topics such as:

Topics include exposing false doctrines in the Left Behind Series; the the planned satanic infiltration into the church; true gospel vs. the false gospel; the New Age gospel of Stewart Best, unholy music, the post-tribulation rapture, false doctrines in Jim Pappas' Christiana: The Pilgrim's Progress Part II; Tim LaHaye's false mark of the beast teachings, scripture-twisting in the Tim LaHaye Prophecy Study Bible: King James, walking after the flesh vs. walking in the Spirit; Christian liberty vs. license to sin; Miracle II products; cleansing ourselves from all filthiness of flesh and spirit, fasting and prayer; the various ways Satan's servants work to try to spiritually destroy Christians.

They tell us

Prayer to God does not go into objects or containers. Prayers to Satan (incantations) can result in demons going into containers, objects, and substances. So far, our look at the other Miracle II spiritual ingredients reveal that these products are undoubtedly marked for Satan. God (as revealed in the Holy Bible) does not co-labor with Satan, the god of this world. We can be certain that any prayer contained in the Miracle II products is directed to Satan because they contain his subtle energy! Such prayers cause the recipients to be cursed with demons, not blessed by God.

And therefore...

You have made a mistake by using the Miracle II products. You have actually sinned by buying, using, or even selling these demonically marked products... Renounce purchasing them, using them, swallowing them, bathing with them, laundering with them, trusting in them, selling them or any other way you have given them place in your life. Renounce praising Satan unknowingly by praising God for improvements in health while you used the products. Throw them away, including all literature, etc.

(via Jesus' General).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:02 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

March 5, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Passion Opportunists

United States: Over at the Prattle Towers satellite office, when we're not scouring the headlines to bring you the latest in naughty vicar stories, we're immersed in other web enterprises. Our main site runs Google ads and we have noticed an influx of god bothering wankers pushing crap for The Passion of The Christ.

I'd just assumed that most were trying to flog the same Passion tat that has already been highlighted here, but the lovely Feòrag pointed out several of the amusing and opportunistic little enterprises riding on the coattails of Lethal Weapon meets God.

From the school of You've seen the movie, now buy our crap, which comes in the exciting flavours of pro- and anti-Passion. Interesting to note that this particular ad was using the same googlejuice boosting techniques favoured by spammers.

Who really killed Jesus?
Do the Bible Codes predict The Passion controversy?

The sensationalist tabloid headline version of Buy our crap. Complete with fake endorsements — just like the movie.

Passion of Christ
Recent wave of Godly programs? Recent wave of Satanic programs?

There's the Convert, you godless heathens. Oh, and buy our crap kind of ad.

Passion — True to Script?
Read Jesus' exact words from the original eyewitness biographies.

The usual bunch of ads luring you to eBay or Amazon make an apearance. But there's also a curious group that figure if you've seen the movie, you'll be jonesing for a new bible. How can you resist a bible has been completely remastered and is touted as being a first edition.

Prepare for the Passion
1st edition copy of new Douay Bible Completely remastered, in leather.

The What the hell, learn a dead language marketing ploy, the site fudges the truth a little because you get presented with Hebrew instead of Aramaic. I think these guys are playing off the inherent stupidity of the loony fundies who will flock to the movie and not understand the difference.

Understand The Passion?
Learn Hebrew and Aramaic at Home No-Risk Video CD Course from Israel

The warez sites are not about the look a gift horse in the mouth, so there's also a heap of ads tempting you to download the movie or buy pirated versions.

You run one post about Mel's crappy vanity pick and you're innundated by tat merchants. Isn't there something in the bible about merchants being the spawn of satan?

Opinions of the Wolf: Opinion - Red Wolf, March 2004.

March 4, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bodies for Christ

Despite the name, the Bodies for Christ does not exhort Chrsitians to go out and kill those who disagree with them, but it might just help the sort of nut who thinks that's a good idea.

Sheri has a passion to help people know who they are in Christ and understand that they can have victory in life, no matter what area. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we should honor our body. She has designed a series of Christian exercise videos called Bodies for Christ because it is vital for Christians to be God's hands and feet and ready to serve.

The video Firm and Tight is the one for you if you need to hang around cruising grounds prior to a good queerbashing:

This exercise program will increase calorie burning muscle and will tone and tighten your buttocks, hips, thighs, arms, back and belly! Faith Breaks are throughout the entire exercise video, which are filled with the word of God. The word of God will build your faith and propel you to finish the entire workout program.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:18 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

March 2, 2004

Bargains of the Day: Pentagram frenzy

[Pentagram Rug]Several exciting Wiccan items caught the attention of the bargain seeker at Prattle Towers. Firstly, cover that odd stain with a Pentagram Carpet black heavy duty THICK:

This carpet is 3'4" diameter with a silver pentagram on a black background. Carpets are made with 100% jute backing and heavy duty weaving. (real deal carpet, not just a throw rug). Colors won't bleed or fade with use.

Not enough room? Well here's a Pentagram Watch black band black/white face

A high-quality, waterproof, unisex wrist watch. The face shows a pentagram with silver hands. It comes with a black leather band that fits both man and woman. Easily compares to a $50 retail watch. But we manufacture so you SAVE!

What? One pentagram isn't enough? Well the same vendor also offers sets of 10 NEW Pentagram Stickers white/black or black/purple:

These decorative stickers can be used for letters, envelopes and much more. 1.5" diameter, self adhesive! There are 10 stickers for $2. This auction is for one set of stickers.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:59 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

March 1, 2004

Bargains of the Day: LASER 3D IMAGES in Crystal

When I was in New York recently, I spotted a block of clear stuff containing a 3D image of the World Trade Center with Jesus spreading his arms above the Twin Towers. I regret not buying such a superlative piece of tat, and have failed to find one online. This comes close, but the dove is far too pacifist an image for Bargain of the Day. As penitence, therefore, I present to you the 'religious' section of Crystal Fox Gallery's Laser 3D images in Crystal. Enjoy.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:07 | View blog reactions

February 28, 2004

Bargain of the Day: irreligious tat

Pastor Best forwards me a piece of e-mail he received from the National Secular Society. It seems that atheists need tat too:

DON'T CLUTTER YOUR HOME WITH RUBBISHY KITSCH -- ACHIEVE THE SAME EFFECT WITH OUR MARVELLOUS MERCHANDISE

We know what fashion victims our members are, always on the lookout for the latest trend in this or that. With the current interest in home renovation and decoration (have you seen Channel 4 lately? Do they make any other programmes except about home improvement?), we thought we'd bring to your attention the current fad for clutter. Minimalism is old hat. Those wood-floored rooms with nothing in them are out. What the latest trendies in London are going for is old-fashioned clutter!

Which is why you need to stock up on NSS gifts and souvenirs. You need mugs, teatowels and notelets galore to positively fill your house to overflowing. Artful clutter -- let's have more of it.

And what exactly would irreligious tat be?

Our Heroes of Atheism mugs are decorated with superb line drawings of the six people who, in their own ways, contributed to changing the way we think about the world. Why not collect all six for a stylish set - and get a discount at the same time?

There is also a matching tea towel, with all six heroes, and notelets. The heroes are Charles Darwin, Richard Dawkins, Carl Sagan, Bertrand Russell, David Hume and Charles Bradlaugh.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:45 | View blog reactions

February 23, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Pentagram Clock

No discerning Wiccan can afford to miss this Pentagram Clock:

Our Pentagram clock is a classic design. It is 12 inch diameter chrome based wallclock with a white face that has 4.5" black pentagram in the middle of it and black numbers with chrome hands. It comes with batteries in a white gift box.

Okay, so it doesn't have any useful features like the phase of the moon, but there's a pentagram on it!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:36 | View blog reactions

February 21, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Passion Nail Pendant

This bit of cheap metal on a string isn't overpriced at $25 (US) because it's Mel Gibson New Christ Passion Movie Memorabilia. Not that that means it was used in the film, nosiree.

Nail Pendant on 20" leather cord. Nail is 1-7/8" long, and oval tag near clasp engraved with The Passion of the Christ.

February 19, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Life of Jesus Cross Light

This delightful Life of Jesus Cross Light is a tasteful addition to any Christian home, and the photos clearly do not do it justice:

Scenes from the life of Jesus decorate an elaborately designed wall cross. At center, Jesus sits behind a mirror and, when switched on, is illuminated by a pale light. Uses two AA batteries, not included. Alabastrite. 11 3/4" x 2 1/8" x 14 1/8" high.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 07:28 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

February 18, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Enamel Dogwood Earrings

At first glance, today's bargain seems a little odd. Why should the Prattle have any interest in some rather attractive earrings? But it all lies in the marketing, so what we have here are Enamel Dogwood Ears/ Do You Know The Legend?. In case we didn't, and would have otherwise bought the earrings, the vendor tells us:

THE LEGEND: The legend behind the dogwood is that at the time of the Crucifixation the dogwood had been the size of the oak and other forest trees. So firm and strong was the tree that it was chosen as the timber for the cross. To be used thus for such a cruel purpose greatly distressed the tree, and Jesus nailed upon it sensed this, and His gentle pity for all sorrow and suffering said to it: Because of your regret and pity for My suffering, never again shall the dogwood tree grow large enough to be used as a cross. Henceforth, it shall be slender and bent and twisted and its blossoms shall be in the form of a cross--two long and two short petals. And in the center of the outer edge of each petal there will be nail prints, brown with rust, and in the center of the flower will be a crown of thorns, and all who see it will remember

And what would modern religious tat be without some gratuitous patriotism? This item is Brand New and Made In the USA at our factory located in Cranston, R.I.,.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:23 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

February 14, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Hell Kitty

The attendees at the Other Convention mentioned below were clearly interested in the Hell Kitty I bought in the dealer room, but were too polite (and confused by the simple instructions for the lift) to say anything.

Hello Kitty's got her Halloween Costume on! This time she's wearing a red vinyl devil costume! Bad Kitty! Officially licensed plush toy. Measures approx 6" tall.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 01:24 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

February 8, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Jesus scarf

Be the envy of your church group with this 'I [heart] Jesus' chiffon scarf:

This scarf is black chiffon with gold stamped printing on it. It is 100% polyester and from V.J. Trading Corp. It measures approximately 19"X61". We have sold these at several churches in the area. It would look great with your church suit or your outercoat.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:46 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

February 7, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Bible Bobbleheads

Nestled quietly in the Sidelights of Making Light is a link to the only place online... to purchase one, or all three, of the original 2002 Great Heroes of Faith Collection a.k.a. Isaac Bros. Bible Bobbleheads. And if that isn't exciting enough, You can also get a sneak-peek at our one-of-a-kind Comic Books which we insert with every Isaac Bros. Bible Bobblehead. I warn you they're not as interesting as Chick tracts.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:09 | View blog reactions

February 6, 2004

Glory

United States: Coming soon to a garage sale near you — future religious tat. Or not. Seems inventor, Senora Melody Downs of Baltimore, Maryland, tried to patent a Christian board game, no doubt expecting to be trampled in the rush from Mattel. The patent office didn't agree, perhaps because the patent application seems to challenge the one sentence per claim rule. Although I'd lean towards the too many exclamation points in an application tag you as an idiot explanation.

Continue reading "Glory"
Posted by Red Wolf in Religious Tat at 00:43 | View blog reactions

February 1, 2004

Bargain of the Day: useless cash

For $1.50 (US) you can buy a penny! But we wouldn't feature just any penny, would we? No, this Cross Remembrance Coin has been damaged just for you:

The coin is an actual United States minted penny with a cross punched out of the center. On the front of the card is The Cross in my Pocket poem and on the back is a brief description of the coin and the process.(Please see photos)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:16 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 13, 2004

Bargain of the Day: tasteful desktop fountain

Relax with a Serenity Prayer Table top Water Fountain, which is a Serenity Prayer Desktop Fountain with Rose and Cross on opposite Side.

A soothing and spiritual desk fountain, offering a stone-look plaque with a carved cross on one side, and the Serenity Prayer on the other. River stones included. Uses 2 AA batteries - not included. Measures: 7 1/4" diameter x 9" high.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:39 | View blog reactions

January 11, 2004

Bargain of the Day: a bit of string

Today's bargain is not the sterotypically attractive blonde in the photograph, but a bit of string. Of course, we wouldn't mention just any old bit of string - this is a KABBALAH RED STRING BRACELET KIT!

Recently made famous by the likes of Madonna, Demi Moore, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and many more Hollywood types. The Red String symbolizes the protection from the influences of the Evil Eye. The Evil Eye is a very powerful negative force. It refers to the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us. According to Kabbalah, the critical need to confront the problem of negative influences cannot be underestimated. Kabbalah teaches us that we can remove intrusive negative influences by using tools such as the Red String! This kit comes with 5 red strings long enough for any wrist. Also comes with the tie-knot instructions, the story behind the red string and Rachel's tomb, as well as the Ben Porat Prayer which is used to give the string energy and strength.

Coming soon from Pagan Prattle Products - the blue string of fertility.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:08 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 10, 2004

Bargain of the Day: someone to pray for you

A mere $39.99 (US) will get you an interesting service - Buy my prayers for YOU to get into HEAVEN!

All you have to do is buy this simple ebay auction, and I'll send you a one-of-a-kind certificate, suitable for framing, describing how I will pray for your safe passage into eternal happiness in the presence of God in Heaven. I've always felt a responsibility to pray for my brothers and sisters in spirituality to stay pure and get into heaven. I've also felt it is important to do for a living what you do best in life. That's why I'm offering this certificate of my prayers, in 20 minute per week increments, for only the price of this ebay auction! Please take a moment to think about your eternal soul. Take a moment to consider the future--everlasting life and happiness. Isn't it worth it?

There is, of course, no guarantee that the vendor's imaginary friend will pay any attention whatsoever.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:29 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

January 5, 2004

Bargain of the Day: book

The vendor warns us IF YOU FEAR SATAN; DON'T BUY THIS ITEM! IN FACT; DON'T EVEN LOOK AT IT. What cultbuster is selling is a rather, erm, interesting e-book:

Take a good look at the photo accompanying this item.It is from a CBS 60 Minutes broadcast Oct.5th,2003 which included an actual live filming of one of the satanic rituals of the anglo/german cult that worships the goddessEulogia!This cult's current admitted membership includes; President Bush,Senator Kerry,SEC head,William Donaldson,Ed McNally,general counsel of Homeland Security,and Robert MacCallum,asst.Attorney General.NOTE:this item for auction is a 259 page online book...not a film or movie(yet).The truth,in this case,is much stranger and exceedingly more threatening toward the American people than fiction.Abraham Lincoln said it in 1856;Americans have a DUTY to KNOW and FACE the TRUTH.The only question is,will America's citizens continue to sleep at the switch..or wake up and use the democratic means at our disposal to return our government to a government OF THE PEOPLE?!This 259 page item for auction provides the evidence and details proving the following:A:The cult is headquartered in Germany.B;Members of the American branch have been burrowing into American business and government in order to implement their goals of world domination and suppression of the citizenry.C:The members swear allegiance to the pagan goddess Eulogia and then to each other.D: The cult embraces and demands of its members thievery,trickery(which includes lying;e.g. pretending to be Christian),and war engineering as good things;tools for expanding the power and wealth of its members.E: The cult members have been instrumental,alongside their European brothers,in causing most of the horrors over the past 100 years;1. they financed Hitler's rize to power and supplied his nazi machine.2.they developed the atomic bomb;cult member G.L.Harrison cabled cultmember Henry Stimson the announcement of the 1st.atomic test bomb in N.Mexico as follows;a child is born,larger than expected,you can hear its cries for 40 miles and see the light in its eyes for 200 miles;they also decided to drop 2 A bombs on Japanese cities in rapid succession to kill as many barbarian children as possible before the certain surrender.3.Cult members A.Harriman and the Bundy brothers engineered the Vietnam war.4:The cult controls the Bush Regime.They delayed the takeover of Iraq for 10+ years in order to have total control of post-war Iraq.5:Opium and oil have long been the bread and butter of the cult's secret operations and wealth creation.Hence,the skyrocketing increase in Afghan opium production since the Bush team took over Afghanistan.One final eyewitness account of one the cults' wedding ceremonies;"during the ceremony,which was officiated by a patriarch in his mid-eighties, the Bonesmen wore black,hooded robes and intoned chants while waving rods over a coffin,summoning spirits from below, Step 1: find out more:for auction,the online version of the 259 page dossier by Jim Stonewall Robey,which will be SENT TO YOU BY EMAIL (no shipping charges). SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR MONEY REFUNDED.PLEASE NOTE:this is an online book...not a movie(yet)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:28 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

January 1, 2004

Bargain of the Day: psychic jewellery

Psychic Sylvia Brown has been working with a jeweller to bring you an exclusive selection of exquisitely designed jewelry that conveys a special spiritual message from Sylvia. This message is designed to give meaning to anyone who aspires to be God centered.

Every piece within this line of jewelry contains a symbol of three interlaced circles that is meant to remind us of three important words in our life to help us stay on the path:

Gratitude: To be grateful for not only our life, but also the fact that God gave us the opportunity to learn in this world so we can ascend to a higher level.

Loyalty: To be zealous and accountable, not only to God, but to each other. To keep our focus on what is righteous and good and never waiver.

Commitment: To be committed to our path whether full of joy or sadness, but to never waiver in our goal to do good.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:11 | View blog reactions

December 31, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Bible on a heart

This Bible & Candle display on a Heart is just the thing to impress your true love (after Jesus, of course):

This is a beautiful and unique gift, would be great for Valentine's Day. Antique style reading glasses makes this arrangement even more attractive. Pearl boarder and lace give it that added touch of elegance. Perfect condition, candle has never been lit.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:54 | View blog reactions

December 27, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Light-up Jesus hat

Let the whole world know about your intimate relationship with an older man with this I LOVE JESUS LIGHT UP HAT:

Awesome Light up baseball -Like Cap. It is white and has a black rim. Fiber optic light and has a 9 volt battery! Brand new and never worn, I have two of these!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:48 | View blog reactions

December 21, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jesus lighters

The vendor has very little to say about these Jesus Lighters, just that You will Love these 12 lighters with JESUS pictures on them!! and that they are quality disposable lighters with beautiful colorful lables. All with pictures of JESUS on them. There again, 'magickalfairie' doesn't sound like a particularly Christian name to me...

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:44 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

November 25, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jewish musical mug

No cup of tea can be complete without this environmentally-friendly Draydelettes Music Mug:

When picked up, the festive mug plays I Have A Little Draydel. No batteries required--music is activated by artificial or natural light.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:19 | View blog reactions

November 23, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jewish patriotic religious tat

In case you thought Christians had a monopoly on religious patriotic tat, I present to you this AMERICAN FLAG SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS STAR OF DAVID PIN:

Old Glory interpreted in Swarovski crystal on a Star of David. Wear it proudly.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:55 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

November 22, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Harvey Magila Doll

Today's delight from Jewishsource.com is a Harvey Magila Dancing Doll:

When you flip the switch under the doll's tush, this fuzzy chassid starts to shokkle to the tune of Hava Nagila. For fun-loving collectors of all ages. AA batteries included.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:34 | View blog reactions

November 21, 2003

Another Bargain of the Day: Disney Chanukah tat

You know how it is - that time of year is fast approaching and you can't think of anything to get Cory Doctorow. Well here are a couple of suggestions. Firstly, we have a charming Mickey & Co. Hanukah Band Menorah.

Mickey and his friends are having lots of fun! Hand-painted poly resin sculpture on carved base. Golden metal vessels.

If $85 is just a little bit more than you wanted to pay, the Micky & Co. Roller Skating Menorah is slightly cheaper at $70:

Mickey and Minnie skate hand-in-hand followed 'round the corner by Pluto. Hand-painted poly resin sculpture on carved base with golden vessels.

And I promise this site will provide many more bargains in the days to come...

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:14 | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: Chanukah pinata

I didn't know there were that many Jews in Mexico, but there must be. Who else would be interested in this Chanukah Pinata?

16 inches in diameter. Big and colorful with dangling ribbons. New from the Everything Jewish catalog last year. Has minimal wear from storage. You just open it, fill it and hang it.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:38 | View blog reactions

November 20, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Islamic clocks

There are plenty of clocks, watches and software available to the discerning Muslim who needs to be sure of praying at the right times, but I suspect this Muslim Athan clock is not such a useful device. But this clock actually says one of the prayers!

Assalamu Alaikum This is the perfect alarm clock it says the athan in a beautiful, loud, clear voice. It says the athan for fajr prayer, and when you hear Alsalatu khairun min alnawm its hard to stay asleep.
Every muslim home should have one of these I definitly recomend it. Don't miss out on this wonderful offer. This alarm clock makes a great gift for yourself or that someone special. Remember EID is just around the corner! "Your satisfaction is guaranteed!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:11 | View blog reactions

November 13, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Dharma Beads Kit

It's not often we have Buddhist tat on offer, but today's special product is a DHARMA BEADS KIT:

This $24.95 kit is new, in box, still in original cellophane. The kit contains everything you'll need to make three 27-bead malas. *27 carnelian beads to foster well-being *27 tiger's eye beads to inspire courage *27 sandalwood beads to promote compassion *3 head beads and 3 crown beads *6 separator beads *red elastic, symbolizing the bloodline of the Buddha INCLUDED is a DHARMA BEADS book with full directions, history of the use of beads for meditation and prayer,development of malas in Buddhist tradition, simple suggestions for beginning a spiritual practice using the mala, colorful photographs from around the world.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:50 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

November 6, 2003

Bargain of the Day: soap challenge

Pericat persists: Think you can find any soap made from saint's relics?. The answer is no, but if you have any such bits of dead person around, it would be a doddle to make using a kit from the Soap Tub. And why do I mention this? Because they also sell ready-made soaps, and have a whole page dedicated to (Christian) religious soaps in wholesale quantities. Imagine what you could do with 100 glittery icthus guest bars of soap!

November 4, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Goddess soap

In the comments, Pericat asked What will they think of next to wrap in glycerin? Saint's relics?. Will a Goddess do? Stormsong Charm Soap is a pure glycerine soap made to your choice of shape and scent and Each one comes with a high quality sterling silver charm embedded inside which epitomizes the intent of the soap. Charms include: pentagram, Goddess, the Green Man, the moon and others. This is one of many products from R'Chel Enterprises:

We create candles & votives, lotions, soaps, bath gels, shampoos & conditioners, fragrance tarts, & more for both the wiccan & non wiccan communities.
Our fragrances are blended from oils, herbs & flowers infused together to customize each scent. Our products are handcreated in small batches from quality ingredients, and are tested by our family & friends. Our metaphysical recipes are the result of nearly 20 years of research and personal use.

Other products include Blessed Be soap and Hands of the Goddess soap.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:31 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

November 3, 2003

Bargain of the Day: soap in dubious taste

Today we have more soap for you. It's impressive that a religion that used to emphatically reject personal hygeine should now support a thriving trade in toiletries for the faithful. The Bar of Faith Prayer Soap ™ is not a cynical attempt to exploit tragedy - it's a Christian gift of love.

How BAR OF FAITH PRAYER SOAP™ was born September 11th, it was a day no one will ever forget. Remember the picture of the twin towers coming down with dust, dust and more dust everywhere?

You had a sense you wanted to cleanse yourself from this monumental unhappiness. That is when Rosalie Holland came up with the idea for a 100% PURE GLYCERIN BAR OF FAITH PRAYER SOAP™. At times like these when Christians everywhere are reaching out for comfort and healing, how wonderful it is to start the day washing their hands and face with a clear soap that contains a beautiful floating cross.

There are testimonials, of course, from people completely unconnected with the company:

Rosalie's good friend Leticia Hart had this to say when she first used BAR OF FAITH PRAYER SOAP™, Whenever I take this soap in my hands, it's like a miracle, I feel good all over and closer to my faith. Everyone I know wants to get these soaps for themselves and for gifts as well.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:27 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

November 2, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Christian witness soap

Wash away your sins and annoy your friends and co-workers with Christian Witness Soap:

As a Christian and a Handmade soap maker I want to share my Faith with all who will listen.One way is to give people soap with the shape of the Fish on it and a little booklet telling them what it means and that Jesus is the only way to Eternal life with our Father in Heaven. We've made this witnessing tool available at a very reasonable price so you to can give a gift with the intention of planting a seed and get that person to think about Jesus, Salvation & where they will end up when they die.

Available in two sizes and seven different scents.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:20 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

October 30, 2003

Bargain of the Day: vampire slaying kit

United States: You never know what might sneak up on you this Hallowe'en but one anonymous buyer is safe, though $12,000 poorer. On Thursday, Sotherby's in New York sold an early 20th century vampire killing kit- a walnut box containing a wooden stake, a pistol with 10 silver bullets, a crucifix, a rosary and containers for garlic powder and other useful substances.

A label on the kit says: This box contains the items considered necessary for persons who travel into certain little known countries of Eastern Europe where the populace are plagued with a particular manifestation of evil known as Vampires.

Vampire Killing Kit Sells for $12,000 - Yahoo! News, 30th October 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:25 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

October 27, 2003

Bargain of the Day: 3D Prayer in Spaaaaaaaace!

[3D Prayer in Spaaaaaaaace]Just think how wonderful these 3D Lenticular Postcards of Jesus & Prayer would look in those frames you got from IKEA.

Five three-dimensional (lenticular) postcards of Jesus Christ and Prayer. All but one of them have an appropriate Bible verse on the reverse.

All five postcards are 4" x 6" size, unused and in Mint condition. They were probably published in the 1960s or 1970s.

My favourite is 'Prayer in Space'.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:59 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

October 23, 2003

Bargain of the Day (2): Black magic protection

Be warned! Black magic is rife in the Hindu world and evil spells are easy to cast but hard to remove:

Putting a Black magic spell on someone is very easy for those knowing even a little bit of Tantrik siddhis/ voodoo. But to remove the spell and eliminate it's sinister effects needs lot of expertise, continuous & rigorous puja/worship and a combination Siddhis & Sadhna.

But why bother with such a tedious process after some magickal script kiddie has hosed your life? Instead, why not buy a 'Raksha Kavach' for Protection & Cure of Black Magic from godpromise.com?

'Raksha Kavach' is the most powerful Talisman for protection and cure of Black magic. 'Raksha Kavach' eradicates all ill-effects of Black magic, Evil spells, Curses, Ghosts and Spirits. It cures one of evil effects of past attacks and protects one from all future attacks.

The effect of 'Raksha Kavach' never gets reduced. It's protection is life-long, and lasts for as long as it is worn. The moment it is worn, the negative effects start receding and it's protection starts, freeing the wearer from all evil influences which can ruin & destroy one's present and future life.

'Raksha Kavach' is blessed with so much extraordinary energy and power that it can guard and protect an individual against the strongest super-natural forces, negative powers and reverse/break any kind of spell.

The wearer of 'Raksha Kavach' always remains immune from any Black magic attacks.

Not effective against spells for the separation of fools and their money. Does not cure inability to use apostrophes.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:04 | Comments (6) | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: rare occult book collection

A huge collection of occult books goes under the hammer at Sotheby's next month. The collection bolonged to artist Robert Lenkiewicz and includes many rarities such as a first edition Malleus Maleficarum.

It includes a 17th century spotter's guide to witches and demons, by Joseph Glanvill. His Saducismus Triumphatus was a desperate attempt to convince sceptics that ghosts and demons were all too real, and included the first-hand evidence of one Elizabeth Styles that the devil had appeared to her in the shape of a handsome Man and after of a black Dog. Then he promised her money, and that she should live gallantly, and have the pleasure of the world for 12 years, if she would with her blood sign his paper ...

Sotheby's to sell rare occult book collection - The Guardian, 23rd October 2003; witchcraft and the occult: selected books from the collection of the late robert lenkiewicz - sale catalogue on Sotheby's web site.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:40 | View blog reactions

October 21, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Miracle snotrag

Cure colds by blowing your nose on this Miracle Prayer Cloth:

STRAIGHT FROM THE HOLY LAND-ANNOINTED!

"IT IS SAID, THAT WHOMEVER HAS IN THEIR POSSESION ONE OF THESE; MIRACLE PRAYER CLOTHS WILL RECEIVE WHATEVER THEY ASK FOR. IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN NEED OF A MIRACLE, THIS CLOTH IS FOR YOU! I DO HAVE SEVERAL TESTIMONIES OF HEALINGS ASSOCIATED WITH THIS CLOTH.

(ONE HAS TO JUST PLACE THIS ON THE AFFECTED AREAS AND ASK GOD FOR THEIR MIRACLE) WHAT I HAVE DISCOVERED IS THAT THE PERSON SHOULD KEEP THIS ON THEIR PERSON OVERNIGHT AND BELIEVE IN THE GOD OF ALL MIRACLES-THAT WHEN THEY ASK HIM, THAT HE WILL INDEED ANSWER. IT REALLY DOES WORK!!!

IF YOU HAVE READ THE BIBLE, THE APOSTLES TORE PARTS OF THEIR CLOTHING AND GAVE IT TO THE SICK AS A POINT OF CONTACT. THE SICK WERE HEALED!

THIS IS AN ANNOINTED MIRACLE PRAYER CLOTH JUST LIKE THE APOSTLES USED. VERY POWERFUL!!!

PLEASE IF YOU NEED A MIRACLE-COME RECEIVE IT. DON'T STAY SICK-OR SEND IT TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. BY THE WAY, IT'S NOT ONLY FOR PHYSICAL HEALINGS, IT IS ALSO FOR FINANCIAL MIRACLES, JOBS, MARRIAGES, ETC. BID RIGHT NOW GOD BLESS YOU!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:38 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

September 23, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Holy water, holy muck

Ein Gedi Cosmetics specializes in the production and development of Dead Sea Cosmetics & Spa, Essential Oils, Perfumes, Candles, Anointing Oils, and Holy Land Religious Items. Guess what interests us? Holy Water from Jordan River is pretty mainstream, but I have never seen Jerusalen Stones from Jerusalem before - a tiny bottle of holy muck, labelled with a cross. They have gift sets too!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 09:11 | View blog reactions

September 21, 2003

Bargain of the Day: dream pen

Now Charlie need never lose that story idea he had in the middle of the night ever again -- all he needs is this UNIQUE NIGHT LIGHT WRITING DREAM PEN. The vendor sees other possibilities for this product though:

Introducing the Brand New Night-Light Dream Pen!
Use this Blue Night Light Pen to make notes in the middle of the night, or to record dreams and prayers God gives you in the night, WITHOUT having to get up out of bed or disturb others.
Or give it as an excellent unique gift.
This Night Light ink pen is 5.75" long, night light is blue, ink is black, and comes with batteries, its own case, an extra ink refill, and a clip-on attachment.
One quick click, and your pen lights up, lighting your way across the page. Refillable twist-action ballpoint. Smooth writing action.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:30 | View blog reactions

September 19, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Bible bear

Simon the Scripture Bear is a Loveable Brown Bear Helps Kids Memorize 9 Inspirational Bible Verses.

Simon can't wait to introduce your child to these Scripture verses.

Just press one of the nine blue patches on his paws, ears, tummy and feet to hear an abbreviated reference plus a Bible verse.

Simon teaches 9 key Bible passages:
  • Genesis 1:1
  • Psalms 23:1
  • Psalms 118:1
  • John 1:3
  • Acts 16:31
  • Romans 6:23
  • 1 John 4:10
  • 1 John 4:14
  • 1 John 4:19


Simon uses the NIV translation.

When he's not teaching Scripture, Simon's a plush play pal your child will love taking everywhere.

He has a soft, polyester plush body with polyester fill and measures a big 15".

Uses 3 AA batteries, is non-toxic and for ages 3 and up.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:31 | View blog reactions

September 13, 2003

Bargain of the Day: starve yourself with Jesus

We've had One True Biblical diets before, but never this extraordinary package— The Bible's Way to Weight Loss: NEW $79 VALUE, which appears to be from a Christian version of Weight Watchers:

First Place Member Kit: The Bible's Way to Weight Loss

This kit is needed by every First Place group member to get started on the road to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. It contains the Member's Guide, the Choosing to Change book, 13 Commitment Records, 4 motivational audiotapes, the Prayer Journal and the Scripture Memory Verses: Walking in the Word-everything a person would need to learn how to lose weight sensibly and live a healthy, balanced lifestyle by putting Christ in first place. The only thing the member will need to purchase other than the kit ,is the appropriate Bible study
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:49 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

September 12, 2003

Bargain of the Day: even dumber Bible

Darren Barefoot directs us to this remarkable publication.

In focus groups, online polling, and one-on-one discussion, Transit has found that the number one reason teens don't read the Bible is that it is too big and freaky looking. This fashion-magazine format for the New Testament is the perfect solution to that problem. Teen girls feel comfortable exploring the Scriptures and over 500 further-study notes because of the relevant format!

Darren comments: What's next? Gilgamesh as a pop-up book? The idea is not that new. Back in November 2002, the Prattle noted Brio, a well established fundie magazine aimed at teenage girls.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:53 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

September 10, 2003

Bargain of the Day: ritual rug

Until today, I had never heard of a Goddess Ritual Rug , wiccan pagan, except when lesbian Pagans used the term as a euphemism. Apparently it's a:

Plush shag Lavendar ritual rug with black Goddess, 40" diameter. Great for ritual circle, or for in front of your Altar! Measures 3' 4".

It should show wax and incense stains perfectly!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:09 | Comments (5) | View blog reactions

September 7, 2003

Bargain of the Day: church box

This is so good that the vendor feels the need to shout about her UNUSUAL SHADOW BOX OF AN ISLAND CHURCH:

I WASN'T QUITE SURE WHERE TO LIST THIS LITTLE TREASURE. MADE IN JAPAN THIS BOX MEASURING APPROX 12CM X 13CM IS A 3 DIMENSIONAL SCENE OF A CHURCH. THE CHURCH ITSELF IS MADE UP OF MIRROR SO IT WAS DIFFICULT TO PHOTOGRAPH.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:51 | View blog reactions

August 25, 2003

Bargain of the Day: lucky Irish oil

Today's special product is extra-lucky if you happen to believe cultural stereotypes - BLESSED OIL MADE BY THE IRISH:

THIS IS BLESSED OIL

IT CAN BRING YOU HAPPNES

WEALTH

JOY

LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

PEASE OF MIND

BLESSINGS

JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS

LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE BEING BLESSED

GETTING MONEY IN THE MAIL

IT HAS THE SMELL OF THE ROSES

COMES WITH A IRISH BLESSING

Needless to say, spelling and grammar are not included in the blessing it can bring.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:32 | View blog reactions

August 17, 2003

Bargain of the Day: pagan cookie cutter

Bored with the traditional crescent-moon cakes in your rituals? What you need is this Pentagram Cookie Stamp:

This is new & made of Solid Pewter. This includes instructions & recipes for cookies. Fast becoming a popular way to decorate home-made baked goods, this cookie stamp is sure to lend a unique touch to any of your ritual goodies. Handcrafted of lead-free pewter, hand wash & dry. Handcrafted items are unique; allow for slight variations. approx. 1 3/8" dia.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:42 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 10, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Bendy guys

These 12 God Loves You ~ Bendable Happy Guys ~Smile really put the 'E' in Jesus!

God Bless Us All! Bendable Happy Guy! Imprinted with God Loves You. Each Bendable Happy Guy Is About 2 7/8" Tall! Perfect as gifts, package topper & prizes!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:37 | View blog reactions

August 9, 2003

Bargain of the Day: lures for the stupid

Someone I know once opined anyone who would willingly engage in a battle of wits with a fish is, at best, evenly-matched. With that in mind, it's no surprise to discover these Jesus Is God's Son (JIGS) Fishing lures:

I have for sale 10 packages of 1/32 oz.-1 1/2" sassyshad jigs (50ct). They come in the colors shown in the picture. They are unique in that they are packaged as a spiritual tract to hand out while your fishing. Whoever turned down free fishing tackle, especially if you are holding a stringer of fish. I've handed out hundreds of these for free in the last ten years. It's great way to plant seeds for the kingdom. Besides, they are the best jigs I have ever used. Not saying they have spiritual power, but they really catch fish,( I once caught 69 bass in 1 hour) and people's interest. On the front the package reads,Jesus Is God's Son, SALVATION FOR FREE, JOHN3:16. On the back it reads, COME, FOLLOW ME AND I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS Of MEN MATTHEW 4:19. So, come on and bid, plant some seeds, catch alot of fish(in the water and out), and fill the Great Comission all at once. Cost is about $.20 a jig before shipping, so they are well worth it, even if you do nothing but give them away. Come win this bid,and be

And there it ends.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:42 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

August 5, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Bible bingo

With theGRACEgame Bible bingo game, you can gamble with a clear conscience.

It is a Christian game played like traditional bingo with a Biblical theme. It incorporates words from both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Make it fun by using your own markers such as dry macaroni, beans, pennies, buttons, etc., and learn more about the Bible as you enjoy playing with family and friends.

Comes in its own bag with 15 game cards along with the instruction card and call cards.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 02:12 | View blog reactions

August 1, 2003

Bargain of the day: blessed holy rock

How can you possibly go on without a pet rock, or more precisely A blessed Holy Rock!!!!?

This is a rock blessed by a Tibetan Holy Man, one of the things my friend acquired on his trip to Tibet. This is said to have magical powers, and will bless those who touch it. This is meant to be used for the forces of good, but legend has it that is can be used for evil.
The rock can be used in séances, (I used it quite often for séances around my cat), it can be a nice decoration, and can be used to bless things.
And for those of you who enjoy bureaucratic boasters, you can politely announce to your guests and say I have recently acquired an American rock that was blessed by a Tibetan Holy Man, and when you say that you will fill your guests with envy.

It is a very pretty little beach pebble, and must be utterly authentic - just look at the deep financial knowledge of the valuer:

According to my expert in pricing strange items or antiques, he informed a rock of this magnitude is worth 1,000 British Pounds, roughly 4,000 American dollars. To be generous, I think it will be more leveled to price it at 2,500 American dollars to start. You may bid all you like, so happy bidding.

Note: As of today, £1,000 is worth $1,609; $4,000 is £2,486.01

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:24 | View blog reactions

July 29, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jesus craft kits

[Cute craft kit]Ah, what a delightful way to while away the minutes: CUTE JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW!!CRAFT KITS

Hi what you are bidding on is a lot of 3 cute craft kits that the kids can put together. Everything you need to complete 3 of these will be included. All you need to do is add the glue.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:09 | View blog reactions

July 25, 2003

Bargain of the Day: singing angel bear

Avon Ladies in the United States call with some very unusual items. In among the lipsticks and lotions, we find this Avon Inspirational Singing Angel Bear:

Adorable Collectibles Limited Edition Bear from Avon... Inspirational Singing Angel Bear BRAND NEW! Still in original Box & plastic. Plush & Soft with Lovely Wings for cuddling. PERFECT GIFT IDEA! When you squeeze this angelic bedtime bear's paw once, he will say his prayers. When you press his hand a second time, his head and wings will move and he will sing, Jesus Loves Me. Uses 3 "AA" Batteries
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 01:08 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

July 13, 2003

Bargain of the Day: a star, allegedly

Experimenting with Banana Slug led me to this delightful Baby Jesus Star. At first, it looks like some kind of enchilada served of a bed of instant noodles, but no, it's apparently a decoration for a solstice evergreen.

Bakers clay ornament made entirely by hand by Tanya and Vicki. They hand sculpt each ornament making a truly unique ornament from their family to yours.

Free Personalizing with name, initials, or year.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:22 | View blog reactions

July 9, 2003

Bargain of the Day: feng shui bra

Japan: Young Japanese women are very picky when it comes to bras, and there are some interesting designs available:

Peach John's Shiawase ni naru Bra (Bra for Happiness) comes in floral designs where the flowers are arranged according to the tenets of Feng Shui. Pink versions are said to improve the love life.

Bra bonanza tickles the senses - MDN WaiWai, 9th July 2003.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:45 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

July 8, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Christian RSI avoidance

Charlie often mails me tidbits, and this morning's message was a link to this Register article about ErgoShepherd(TM):

So, what's the solution? How can the Christian business community inspire its employees to spend more time with God in spiritual reflection while simultaneously avoiding RSI and - critically - improving the bottom line?

Enter Magnitude Information Systems, Inc., creators of ErgoShepherd(TM) - an enhanced version of Magnitude's flagship consumer offering, ErgoCoach(TM), which utilizes spiritual micro-breaks throughout the day as a core element of injury prevention while using the computer.

When they say spiritual micro-breaks, they don't mean a slug of vodka in the server room, either. Au contraire, this is the real deal: Developed in conjunction with Calvary Assembly [of Winter Park, Florida] members and Pastor Clark Whitten's vision for inspiring Christians to spend more time with God, ErgoShepherd(TM) integrates daily scripture with award winning ergonomics and animated exercises.

The Ergo Shepherd web site isn't ready yet, but software licences apparently start at $29.95 (US) and you can get more information by mailing info@magnitude.com.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:43 | View blog reactions

July 7, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Saint Joseph Home Seller Kit

Estate agents are a waste of money, so why not waste your cash on a Saint Joseph Home Seller Kit - Your Underground Realestate Agent:

Worried about selling your home?
What about finding a new home, or that first home???
Maybe your friend or a loved one is needing help with the sale or purchase of a home.
Thousands of people every year rely on St Joseph for help. May be you should too!!!
Saint Joseph
The Patron Saint of a Happy Home
Selling or buying a home can be one of the most stressful events in your life. It makes no difference how many times you have gone through this event, it's always a time of worry and anxiety. If you feel that you would like to have a little extra help in selling or finding that new home read on.
Long standing tradition tells us that burying a statue of Saint Joseph on your property (some say near the real estate sign and others say near the front entrance) and asking for Saint Joseph's help will aid you in selling your home. Is it a guarantee? Nothing based on faith is guaranteed but countless home sellers and real estate agents have been asking for Saint Joseph's help for generations. This phenomena has been written up in publications like The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Salt Lake Tribune and The Lincoln Journal-Star, to name just a few publications.
The tradition of burying a statue of Saint Joseph finds its roots in the ancient Catholic custom of burying blessed medals in the ground and asking for heavenly blessings on the area. Today, homeowners of all denominations ask for Saint Joseph's help in selling and buying their homes.
Each hand painted resin statue of Saint Joseph is 5" high and comes in its own full color gift box. Included in the box is a full color story card, explaining the steps required to invoke this wonderful tradition, and a holy card with the Prayer to Saint Joseph.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:18 | View blog reactions

July 6, 2003

Bargain of the Day: some words

Magnetic Poetry is a bit challenging for some, what with having to not only understand those 'word' thingies, but put them together in an interesting manner. Magnetic Inspirations-Name of Jesus removes the second problem and leaves you only with the challenge of trying to read a few words:

From the Old Testament to the New, the character of Jesus is illustrated by the many names used to descibe him. Now, you can have an ever-present reminder of the Son of God by putting together and displaying the awesome Names of Jesus!

You are bidding on a NEW In-the-Case Magnet set containing 278 words to describe Jesus. This would be a great gift for confirmation, or a tool for a Sunday School teacher.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:11 | View blog reactions

July 5, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Musical David and Goliath

This Musical David and Goliath Figurine is a deeply meaningful and inspiring item and demonstrates how characters from Jewish mythology were inspired by myths which would be composed many years in the future:

This is a new David and Goliath musical figurine. I have had it stored for a while, it has been opened just to look at.still in the origial box. It is in excellent condition.

Young David was sent to kill Goliath, a 9 foot giant armed with a sword and a spear. But David put a stone in the sling, drew it back, aimed and sent the stone to its target. Killing the colossal Goliath. (David and goliath move when the music is on).

This biblical tale of faith and tenacity is re-created in this wonderful musical figurine.While the boy and the giant prepare to face off in battle , the tune Jesus Loves Me, This I Know heralds the event. This special keepsake reminds you that you can overcome any obstacle, no matter how huge. measures 6" high x 6 1/2" long.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:45 | View blog reactions

July 4, 2003

Bargain of the Day: bells

Never miss a meal with this Religous Bell Set. The description is rather lacking, as it just tells us they are:

Inspirational porcelain dinner bells. 4" high.

But there's a suitably blurry photo to help.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:06 | View blog reactions

June 28, 2003

Bargain of the Day: message in a bottle

I didn't think glass manufacture was this advanced 2000 years ago, but apparently we have here a Message In A Bottle from Jesus -Inspirational:

INSPIRATIONAL
A Message In A Bottle from JESUS. 7-1/2" high green bottle with cork ... containing a message from JESUS CHRIST. Great gift or home decor item for powder room or guest room!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 09:34 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

June 23, 2003

Bargains of the Day: Christian RPG and CCG

Role-playing games are evil and the work of the Devil, so good Christians will not be interested in DragonRaid Adventure Learning System:

DragonRaid is an exciting experience in adventure simulation. More than just a game, it offers hours of enjoyment while teaching participants to resist sin, counter deceptive arguments, memorize Scripture, and build moral and spiritual character. The DragonRaid system encompasses many different adventures. On the mythical world of EdenAgain, players meet challenges that parallel real life. The imagined dangers compel them to grapple with conflicting values, discover how faith in Christ can shape behavior, and reflect on what is really worth living and dying for.

The professionally printed version includes:

New Player Briefing, Rulebook, LightRaider Handbook, Adventure Master manual, two adventures (The LightRaider Test and Rescue of the Sacred Scrolls) battle grids, playing pieces, dice, and instructional cassette tape

But RPGs are old hat now, so how about Redemption - a collectible card game and the #1 selling Christian Game in the world!. An associated product is the Redemption Board Game, with its rather exciting-sounding setting:

Traveling through the dark and desolate City of Bondage, Biblical Heroes are challenged to rescue the Lost Souls being held by the Evil Hordes who have overthrown the city. It is up to players to battle against these destructive forces and find a way to overcome this evil. Heroes must be prepared to fight, rescue or retreat as they encounter and battle the enemy. Complete with 100 beautifully illustrated playing cards which feature Lost Souls, Biblical Heroes and Evil Forces, combining to make this game a suspenseful adventure for even the most courageous!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:44 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

June 21, 2003

Bargain of the Day: fibre optic church

Mystic Martha recommends this CHURCH--FIBER OPTIC--SIMPLY MARVELOUS-L@@K for all modern, stylish Christian homes.

HERE YOU GO FOLKS!!! THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECE I HAVE SEEN ANYWHERE.IT IS A FIBER OPTIC CHURCH.THERE ARE REAL SMALL HOLES IN THE MODEL WITH A LIGHT IN THE BOTTOM.OVER THIS LIGHT TURNS A MULTI COLORED DISK THAT PUTS OUT THE MOST PRECIOUS BEAMS OF COLORED LIGHT THAT CHANGE AS THE DISK TURNS.THIS IS FULLY PUT TOGETHER AND RUNS ON REGULAR ELECTRICITY AND COMES WITH THE ADAPTER.THIS BEAUTY IS 8 INCHES WIDE,8 INCHES ACROSS AND STANDS A PROUD 9 INCHES TALL.WHAT A WONDERFUL GIFT FOR THE SHUT-IN.THIS IS MADE OF A POLYRESIN MATERIAL AND IS VERY SHARP LOOKING WITHOUT THE LIGHT AND REMIND ME OF THE LITTLE CHURCH IN THE VALLEY.THESE ARE SELLING IN STORES FOR OVER $80.00 AND YOU CAN GET IT HERE FOR A FRACTION OF THAT COST.THESE ARE BRAND NEW AND WILL COME TO YOU IN AN UNOPENED BOX FROM A SMOKE FREE HOME.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:03 | View blog reactions

June 18, 2003

Bargain of the Day: wooden spoon

Today we have a wooden spoon for you. But it's not your ordinary wooden spoon, it a WICCA/PAGAN SPELL SPOON w/RUNES.

This is a handcrafted spell spoon with runes burned into the wood. This spoon measures 18" in length. It can be used for stirring herbs and other mixes in your spell works. For this reason we have not used any chemicals that can be harmful in creating this spoon. It can also be hung in the kitchen as a symbol of protection. If you choose we will finish it with a stain and sealant. Please note shipping will be delayed if you choose this. This is hand made and one of a kind.

This item has not been used and has been cleansed.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:42 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

June 16, 2003

Bargain of the Day: velvet Jesus

Today we have a classic Jesus Christ Velvet 1979 KITSCH Painting

SUPER SALE! CLEANING HOUSE! ONE TIME ONLY!!!

We hit the jackpot and found this old image in the back of the warehouse. WOW!!

This is a Fabulous Velvet Jesus Christ Painting! Made in 1979!!!!

This lovely hand painted picture of Jesus is on soft deep rich velvet.

If you love Jesus or know someone who does, this is a MUST HAVE for any collector. GREAT GIFT, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!!

  • INCREDIBLE ITEM!!
  • It features:
  • Collectors Item from 1979
  • Jesus is shown kneeling and praying outside with a beam of light shining his halo
  • White, Gold, Orange, Red, Blue and Brown in color
  • Fine ART
  • Individually hand painted
  • Painted on soft deep rich velvet which is stretched over wood backing
  • Item measures 12" X 16"
  • VERY limited #, no two alike

But what if this vintage item isn't quite to your taste? Well, worry not as the vendors apparently have a time machine.

**PLEASE email us for other sizes and colors (custom order)

We can create a special eBay auction, upon request,

for OTHER SIZES & COLORS!***

The vendors are also reported to be sitting on a stockpile of exclamation marks and asterisks, and might be auctioning off job lots of surplus punctuation in the near future.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:46 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

June 14, 2003

Bargain of the Day: shell Jesus

It is not often that the vendor is themselves sarcastic about their offering, but the person selling this Jesus Christ Sea Shell Figurine is clearly aware of its nature:

La Madda Pena Uniquely trashy Jesus Christ figure on a cross beautifully hand crafted out of sea shells. Yes you could be the owner of this wonderful 8 1/2" high figure of the messiah. Put it on your computer to ward off evil spirits.

With five days to go, the bidding currently stands at a mere £1.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:47 | View blog reactions

June 12, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Tambourine

Was this Star of David Tambourine designed for a Jewish version of the Salvation Army?

Hand-crafted oak Star of David tambourine Measures 12" x 14" x 1 1/2" With 12 pair of jingles And 12 stones in colors representing the 12 tribes of Israel Also Ribbons in blue, purple, silver
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:50 | View blog reactions

June 10, 2003

Bargain of the Day: praying doll

Have you gone forth and multiplied, and have run out of ideas of how to entertain your many children? Perhaps this Bx of 12 Sweet Faith Talking Praying 14inDoll will help.

A great money making item, or buy for charitable gifts, 3 styles of dolls, Brunette, blonde, or Black Afro Amer version. Sold in solid case of 12, of blonde or brunette or black, your choice. Sweet Faith battery operated talking Praying doll. 14 inches tall, Soft body, rooted hair, vinyl hands and face, Painted eyes. takes 2 AA batteries,(batteries extra) beautiful dress, comes with hair comb and instructions and little hang tag card. Hold her hands together and she says: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep,Guide and guard me through the night and wake me with the morning's light, Amen. Comes in a plastic bag, no box, the boxed version sold for 19.99 each or more but these have no gift box, excellent gift item, excellent item for charities to give to needy kids, excellent store resale item, could sell for 12.99 or more, by the dozen they will be 2.00 each or 24.00 a dozen. we show in the picture all 3 styles available, this auction is for (1) case of 12 of your choice doll. New, in fresh plastic bag, factory sealed, never been opened. Battery installation is very easy. This is a true closeout on a high quality item. Made by DSI toys a very large toy Co. and they have a 800 number for any questions, or problems.They all work great
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:15 | View blog reactions

June 8, 2003

Bargain of the Day: ghost in a lightbulb

I suspect today's bargain is a joke: Ghost Trapped in a Light Bulb, not in a Jar:

Up for auction is a unique and mysterious light bulb containing something from beyond. Call it a ghost, poltergyst, hoax if you will, but this is the real thing, I swear! Once this lightbulb was very ordinary, but then a spirit from the dead came to reside in it. With a blinding flash, this ghost took over the light bulb and masked the bulb's 100 watt luminescent power forever. Some people may tell you it's just a burnt out bulb, but believe me, it is much more, I know. Remember, ghosts are invisible, that's why you can't see it in there. Also, when you shake the bulb you agitate the ghost and you will hear him rattle his chains at you. Many strange things have happened since this bulb has become the eternal resting place of the spirit, but they are so strange and mysterious I cannot share them with you. Some people have suggested just thowing the bulb away or breaking it to release the ghost within. I warn you now, this bulb comes with a curse. Should the bulb ever break, the ghost inside will release a small amount of harmless, inert gas(most likely Argon) into the vicinity of the guilty party. I know the bidding starts rather high, but I am not being completely greedy, I'm being thoughful too. I am simply trying to keep you from bidding so you do not have to accept the burden and responsibility of owning a ghost who was trapped in a light bulb.

The incredibly high starting price is 99 cents (US - about 66p) and this search reveals far too much Ghost in a Jar ephemera.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:47 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

June 4, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Ark fountain, water not supplied

This Noahs Ark Musical Water Fountain is similar, design-wise, to the two Noah's Ark items offered yesterday:

Up for auction is a beautifully crafted Noah's Ark Musical Water Fountain. You fill the base with water, and turn the switch on and the water comes out of a small lip below the ark and trickles back down into the base. You can also run the water & music at the same time.

The picture shows all the detailed animals, plants and sea life that are crafted and painted on the fountain. A beautiful piece for any children's room, bedroom, or as a centerpiece on a mantle, shelf or coffee table. This is a heavy item, but it will be carefully packaged and sent securely to your home!!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:55 | View blog reactions

June 3, 2003

Bargains of the Day: various clocks and watches

Trouble getting up in the morning? How about this Holy Bible Musical Alarm Clock?

Start your day with the inspirational sound of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus, instead of a standard alarm. The clock face lights up when the chorus sounds. Closes flat to travel. Uses 2, AA batteries (not included). Plastic, 5 1/2"H x 4"W x 1 3/4"D.

Too tasteful for you? Perhaps this Jesus In Our Heart clock is more your style:

Up for bid is another beautiful clock and sure to make a bold statement.Beautiful oak wood and finish.Measurements are 9"W x 6"H on a nice base.Clock is scroll sawed. The brightness on the clock and wood is from glare from light.It is as beaitiful on left side as is right side.Thank you for looking and happy bidding.

The Praying Hands clock, from the same vendor, is similarly stylish.

Other tasteful timepieces available at the moment include: 3D VIRGIN MARY PICTURE FRAME WITH CLOCK, a stunning ~ Noah's Ark ~ Premium Pendulum Clock, a Noah's Ark Clock and Night Light Set and this remarkable SACRED HEART OF JESUS MENS WATCH, that comes with a free gift - a Padre Pio "Counsels & Exhortations" booklet.

Now you can think of Our Lord every time you check the time. This is a beautiful and inspiring watch you can wear for any occasion. It is a great way to confess and spread your faith. Every time you look at this watch it can remind you to say a little prayer Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy us. Wouldn't this make a great gift? (BRAND NEW)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:49 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 30, 2003

Bargain Binge: Stone of Transformation, smudge mix, Wiccan keyring and chakra stones

I'm off eclipse-watching, so here are a few more, mostly New Age, bargains to keep you busy in the meantime.

First up is this lump of black rock, sorry, *Big Moldavite* Stone of Transformation. This crystal has many amazing properties, including grammar randomisation and the ability to restore political entities to their state a few years earlier:

Moldavite: make of it what you will, but Moldavite is a tektite that fell to earth about 14 million years ago. I can do no better than refer you to the book by Robert Simmons and Kathy Warner MOLDAVITE: Starborn Stone of Transformation Because that is what Moldavite has come to be known as; the stone of transformation. Not just a gradual transformation, Moldavite can take you on a lightening rollercoaster ride if you're ready, and sometimes if your not.
There are very few crystals that have had a whole book written about them, with the exception of the versatile quartz. But Moldavite has attracted enough attention for a whole book. Moldavite is quite scarce and rare being found only in a couple of areas of Czechoslovakia, and when it is gone there will be no more. A dark green glassy structure, it's shape being formed through the intense heat during its descent and landing.
It is said that the Grail chalice was formed from a great emerald that fell from the sky, perhaps it was this moldavite. Moldavite can have a very profound effect on its keeper. What has come to be known as the 'Moldavite Flush' happens to many people when they first hold a piece of Moldavite, heat rises up the body from the crystals energy. A very interesting and active stone, and I can recommend you read the book for a full appreciation of what Moldavite is and how it can affect you. Moldavite can tip the scales on change in your life so be ready and enjoy the ride.

Smudging is a Native American practice, which explains this Celtic Herbs Smudge Mix:

Celtic Mix has been blended using traditional British and European herbs for cleansing, purifying, blessing and invoking helpful spirits to your sacred space.Use for healing,therapy, meditation, prayer, ceremony and making sacred objects ~ in fact any occasion as working in sacred space will enhance your connection to spirit.

So presumably it contains the same plants that grow wild in my back garden, then. At least it isn't claimed to be the Genuine Ancient Druid Smudging Mix.

Wiccans can now promote their faith with their lost keys by using this 'BLESSED BE ' Keyring With Pentacle !. It appears to be a classy, well-crafted item:

Acrylic double sided keyring with a pentacle inside the words ' Blessed Be '. The design measures approx 5cm x 3.5cm, making it about 5.5cm x 4cm overall.

Need to rebalance yourself after all this excitement? You need CHAKRA HEALING STONES & POUCH CHD WITH REIKI:

You are bidding on a fabulous set of chakra healing stones/crystals. The set comprises of a lovely black velvet drawstring pouch, seven chakra crystals/stones, and instructions.
A Chakra, from the SANSKIRT word meaning WHEEL, is a spinning vortex or a wheel of energy. All knowledge of the seven energy centres of the body, which are better known as the CHAKRAS or the LOTUSES can be traced back to the ancient.
This set comes with full instructions and a diagram of where to place the stones on the body and the healing elements.Before being despatched to the winning bidder the stones will be cleansed and charged with Reiki.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 07:30 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: holy soap

Early Christians considered bathing to be an evil Pagan habit, not appropriate for them. But now that's changed if this auction for a HUGE LOT - 20 BARS OF HANDMADE CHRISTIAN SOAP is anything to go by.

You are bidding on 20 bars of handcrafted soap. The bars are approx. 3.5-4 oz. and come in a protective plastic, closeable container. Each bar has an embedded childrens toy, either a plastic cross or an icthus. Please supervise small children when using this soap. You are bidding on 4 bars of Island Kisses, 4 bars of Ocean rain, 4 bars of Oatmeal, Milk and Honey, 4 bars of Texas Wildflowers, and 4 bars of Red Clover Tea. Almost all of the bars have glitter or shimmer. These make great gifts and with the bid starting at $2.00 per bar, this is a deal you cant pass pass up!!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 06:06 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 29, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Pædophile Jesus Doll

Am I alone in finding today's bargain a little dubious, especially in the light of events such as the scandal in Boston? I mean, substitute any other male name for Jesus, and you'd have the vigilantes round in a flash, to destroy your *Jesus Loves The Little Children* Doll !L@@K:

ADORABLESinging Doll In FABULOUS condition!!! This doll is one of a kind! She is a very cute doll! She sings Jesus Loves the Little Children when you push her tummy. It is a child singing the song and you can hear and understand the words EXCELLENT! She has red hair and blue eyes. Her eyes open and shut. She wears a pretty pink flowered shirt, and the collar matches her bloomers! Everything is in like Brand new condition. TheDoll is in mint condition!!!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:44 | View blog reactions

May 25, 2003

Bargain of the Day: a date with God

Today's find is a CD which promises rather a lot: MEET YOUR OWN GOD WITH THIS CD.

OK YOU WANT TO KNOW IF THERE IS A GOD .
NOW YOU CAN FIND OUT .
LEARN ALL OF HIS SECRETS.
ASK HIM PERSONAL QUESTIONS.
YOU CAN DO IT ALL RIGHT FROM YOUR COMPUTER
CHECK OUT THE TRUTH
FIND OUT WHAT YOU NEVER COULD LEARN FROM A CHURCH
FIND YOUR GOD
THIS CD WILL HELP YOU FIND YOUR GOD
IT WILL GIVE YOU FULL ACCESS TO YOUR GOD
24HRS/7DAYS A WEEK
NO EXCUSSES
NO PRIEST
NO NEED TO GO TO A BUILDING
HANG AT WITH YOUR GOD WHEN YOU WANT WHERE YOU WANT
DONT GET SUCKED IN BY ALL THOSE RELIGIONS THAT CONDEM YOU FOR LIVING YOUR LIFE
YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR GOD TODAY
DONT MISS THIS CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL GOD
YOUR OWN SOURCE
YOUR OWN WAY
YOUR OWN TRUTH
YOUR OWN LIFE

No system requirements are given, and the illustration is a desktop picture from Visual Paradox, and not necessarily anything to do with the disc. It's a Dutch auction, and 100 copies are available.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:15 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

May 22, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Ship in a bottle

[Noah's Ark in a bottle]Getting a little model ship in a bottle is quite a neat trick. You need to make the model with the masts flat, insert it in the bottle and then pull the masts up. Obviously, then, divine miracles were required to make this Unique Noah's Ark In A Bottle which comes This beautiful Noah's Ark figurine is inside a bottle about the size of a wine bottle. It comes complete with this lovely wooden stand. A must for collectors! But wait a minute. Look at the base of the bottle. They cheated. Waaaa!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:15 | View blog reactions

May 20, 2003

Bargains of the Day: A load of balls, and other tat

Think of the fun you could have with a Large lot wholesale religious bouncy balls. And, there's an added bonus - a user interface problem has led to the vendor displaying some of his other wares on the page (no, not that):

SORRY about the picture, I inserted the wrong one and it won't let me change it only add the correct one. I have most of the pictured items but this auction only contians 48 Religious bouncy balls of multilple colors as pictured below. They all have a smiley face and say Smile Jesus Loves You. They come in the original wholesale plastic bag Great for church classes, church camps, religious carnivals and fleamarkets. There is a flat shipping, materials and expenses charge of $5.50. International, email me well in advance of auction ending for a shipping quote before you bid so there are no surprises. Please check out my other auctions for other religious items and wholesale products.

The other items include two lots of 6 NEW Religious Graduation cake toppers:

This auction contians 6 Graduation Cap keychains with a gold cross and yellow tassel. The top measures about 2 inches square. Made of heavy cardboard and cloth. Great for church or school graduations.

[Glowing cross]A little different, and harder to lose, are these 12 God Is Love Glow in the Dark Crosses from The Spotted Dog Auctions:

Description: You are bidding on 12 God Is Love glow in the dark crosses. Perfect for the nightstand, window ledge, car dashboard or any other spot to bring reassurance of God's love during the nighttime hours. Comforting for children and adults alike. Color and Size: White in daylight...glow yellow-green at night; 3 1/2" cross on a 2 1/2" base. Condition: Brand new; in sealed package.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:28 | View blog reactions

May 18, 2003

Bargain of the Day: handbag

This 1 Of A Kind 'RELIGIOUS FIGURES' Photo Handbag is especially for the trendy Christian about town.

This unique 'ONE OF A KIND' roundtop handbag has the top and front sides covered in 'RELIGIOUS FIGURES' photos. The hand bag itself is made of a high quality bonded leather with a blk vinyl laminate and finished in nickel plated hardware. The inside is completely soft veleveteen lined and the bag also has an adjustable shoulder strap. The photos are completely protected by a soft clear vinyl laminate and will last indefinitely even with daily use. The size is approx 9" x 3" x 7" high and will ship UPS.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:16 | View blog reactions

May 17, 2003

Bargain of the Day: cross made from shells

eBay UK has a different class of religious tat than its American sibling. In particular, the British site has tat from years gone by, like this VICTORIAN SHELL ART CROSS ON WOOD. As you might expect, the descriptions are somewhat restrained, and no miracles are promised:

This item is typical of the rustic Victorian interest in nature,and the use of shells as decoration for different objects. It is a wooden cross covered with sea shells which have then been varnished. A few shells are missing but could easily be slotted in, a few shells are cracked but this does not detract from the beauty of this piece of folk history. Shells are typical of those found in most English coastal areas. Approx 31cm high and 20cm across base.

With six days to go, the bidding currenly stands at a tenner.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:44 | View blog reactions

May 12, 2003

Bargains of the Day: mystery objects

Today's bargains are a complete mystery to the vendors. They have no idea what they are, other than they are religious things, and probably Roman Catholic. First up is a Religious Artefact ??, the Holy Wallet:

Forgive my ignorance but I dont really know what this is, it consists of a cross with jesus on it with a horse shoe shaped metal surround with fourteen scenes of the crucifiction, and one larger scene depicting a vision, the case when closed forms a book with a clasp to keep it closed, it measures appx four and a half inches by three inches, the case is faded and a bit tatty but otherwise it is quite a nice item.

Next, we have a VERY UNUSUAL VINTAGE SMALL RELIGIOUS ITEM ???:

I am not sure what this item was originally meant for - but am sure someone will know what it is and be pleased with it. In a small blue casing - there are two sqaure silvery "plaques" ? : - both different notations.
On the top half there is a note with : -
Oh Mary Conceived
Without sin pray for
us who have recourse
to thee
-----
Regina Sine Labe Originali
Concepta Ora Pro Nobis
Qui Ad Te Confugimus
When closed measures: - 6cm X 3.5cm
When open measures : - 6cm X 8cm
Very unusual - I have never seen anything quite like this before but it obviously is a very religious item and I am sure someone will be delighted with it.
God Bless
xxx

Looking closely, one of the plaques depicts Mary, and as she'd be old enough for one right now, I must conclude that it's her bus pass.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:29 | View blog reactions

May 11, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Prayer alarm clock

Today's irresistable offer was tracked down by the Jesus Museum. For just $24.99 (US) you can have a English/Spanish Talking Musical Prayer Alarm Clock, which features features 11 peaceful hymns and two beautiful prayers in both English and Spanish. It will bore lull you to sleep as well as wake you up.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:49 | View blog reactions

May 9, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Patriotic rosary

Today we have another fine example of Crafts Reflecting American Patriotism, a GOD BLESS AMERICA Custom Made Rosary:

Red, White & Blue custom made rosary with silver wire and cross. says; GOD BLESS AMERICA (Sorry no photo available) This item can be changed to GO NAVY, GO MARINES, GO AIRFORCE, GOD BLESS YOU or put a personal name or platoon unit# on. GREAT GIFT IDEA!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 00:50 | View blog reactions

May 6, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Hello Kitty zodiac figures

It is a rare day indeed when I am tempted to put a bid in for something worthy of being a Bargain of the Day, but I admit that only the cost of shipping these 12 Hello Kitty Zodial Figures {Glow in Dark} from Hong Kong puts me off.

You are bidding on a set of 12 brand new and very cute Sanrio Hello Kitty {Glow in Dark} figures. They are made out of soft plastic and about 5 cm tall each, new item never used.

One for each of the signs of the Zodiac. The shipping would only be £4...

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:50 | View blog reactions

May 5, 2003

Bargain of the Day: friend-losing software

Now, for only $10 (US) you can get the tools you need to be a completely irritating git, barred from every online forum going with The Soulwinners Box of Battle Bombs!.

The Soulwinners Box of Battle Bombs! is a FREE useful tool to aid the Christian soulwinner in reaching the lost with the saving message of the gospel; created by soulwinners for soulwinners. It is like having a soulwinning partner at your side 24/7 to assist you with Bible scripture, guidance and biblical suggestions while witnessing to an individual both online and off; and in any type of soulwinning scenarios.
Find step-by-step help in sharing Christ with our easy to use point and click menu boxes. Copy and paste the spiritual weapons of warfare you need and drop them (bombs) into any Chat, Instant Message, Message Board, Email or any other battle field the Lord puts you on to fight. The uses for The Soulwinners Box of Battle Bombs! are virtually endless; helping to make even the youngest born-again Christians successful in sharing their life changing faith with others around them.

There's no information about system requirements, but I'm guessing Windows. Given the traditional security of that product, I'm sure a wily geek could come up with some means of dealing with those who would waste other people's bandwidth in their quest to be the world's most annoying idiot. Ideally one that would leave the evangelist with no-one but their imaginary friend to talk to.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 09:29 | View blog reactions

May 2, 2003

Bargain of the Day (2): patriotic angels

I can't wait an hour for it to be tomorrow, so here's an extra bonus piece of patriotic American religious tat: SET OF 4 PATRIOTIC WOODEN ANGELS / NICE. There's no description - just a picture. Not sure why they have the EU flag on their wings though.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:06 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: C-rap tapes

Proverbs in Rap 2 Cassettes Sealed & NEW will surely bring your rebellious teen to Jesus:

You will be bidding on a new factory sealed double cassette set. The name of the tape is Some Awesome Stuff Rappin' the rules, a wise man's tools. It is King Solomon's Proverbs in Rap. This set would be great for a Sunday School Class, a Teen youth group or church club. It would also make a great gift for a teen. The tapes come in a clear plastic storage case.

It's so effective, I already have a name for the genre - C-rap!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:01 | View blog reactions

April 19, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Money box

Because the vendor insists on using Flash, I cannot appreciate the true beauty of this FIRST COMMUNION>CHALICE BANK>BRAND NEW!!.

THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL, "BRAND NEW" ITEM THAT WE ARE BLESSED TO OFFER FOR THE FIRST TIME!....THIS IS A BRAND NEW, JUST BEAUTIFUL, "FIRST COMMUNION" CHALICE BANK!(5"H,resin)....THIS IS A EXCELLENT WAY TO TEACH YOUR CHILD ABOUT TITHE OFFERINGS, THIS BEAUTIFUL CHALICE BANK REMINDS US THAT WITH HIS BODY AND BLOOD WE ARE GIVEN RENEWED STRENGH AND LOVE!

I believe Boston diocese is in particular need of cash right now...

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:38 | View blog reactions

April 17, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Fractal jesus

Faith suffering? Having trouble taking the far-fetched claims of the Easter story seriously? What you need is The Believe Print, as seen on TV.

One of the most beautiful pieces of art of our Lord Jesus Christ ever produced, The Believe Print is a Limited Edition 18 X 24 lithograph print of the face of Jesus. Professionally printed on a gorgeous lithograph type stock, this print from a distance appears to be an INCREDIBLY sharp fine art black and white print of Jesus. BUT, when you get up close to it, you will notice that the print is ACTUALLY MADE UP OF OVER 1500 SMALLER EASILY VISABLE CRYSTAL CLEAR *FULL COLOR* Religious, inspirational and nature images. Thats right. FULL COLOR smaller images make up this incredible BLACK AND WHITE print! Over 4000 prints have been sold to date and there is a limited printing of 10,000 worldwide. It has to be seen to be believed! This item makes a fantastic Easter gift for those special people in your life who are going through a tough time right now, or just appreciate the power of The Lord.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:51 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

April 15, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Plush baby deities

God Squad and Friends are a range of plush deities aimed at children. Or rather, Jesus Comes 2 Play and Jesus Goes Fishing are special depictions of religious figures when they were children themselves, with some added contemporary elements. They apparently sing as well. The range also includes an ice-hockey playing Moses, and Buddhists have a choice of Lucky Buddha or Prince Siddharta. No sign of Horny Herne though, so I suppose I'll have to stick with my plush Cthulhus (via Holy Weblog).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:40 | View blog reactions

April 10, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Holy pencil sharpeners

Are you fed up of people mocking your literalist faith and implying you're not the sharpest pencil in the box? Silence those annoying people when you buy these PRAYING HANDS PENCIL SHARPENERS NEW NIB!

ITEM #850538 PRAYING HANDS NOVELTY PENCIL SHARPENERS (6 IN BAG). MADE BY DICKERSONS GIFTS AND AWARDS, THESE WILL MAKE EXCELLENT BIBLE SCHOOL / RELIGIOUS INCENTIVES/GIFT ITEMS. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN UNDER 3 YEARS IN AGE. PENCIL SHARPENERS ARE NEW IN THE BAG, NEVER REMOVED! UNIQUE ITEMS!

Reading the package carefully, they mean Dickson's Inspirational Gifts, a company founded in 1944 in the belief that scriptural reminders should be everywhere.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:37 | View blog reactions

April 9, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Religious sports pencils

The Jesus sports statues are well-known. Why not accompany them with these Wooden Religious Sports Pencils NWT?

Wooden Religious Sports Pencils still in package. Never been opened! Assorted designs. One dozen in the package. Pencils are printed with bright, vibrant colors.

A different message on each pencil. God Is My Coach!, Everybody Wins With God!, Tackle Life With Jesus!, Don't Foul Out With The Lord!, God Is My Goalkeeper!, and Hit A Homerun With God!. These make great gifts for children or grandkids. Also great items for Sunday School or Bible School!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:23 | View blog reactions

Bargains of Yesterday

Relive the 1950s with this genuine 1955 FUN WITH LOTTO A BIBLE GAME:

You are bidding on a vintage and dated 1955 FUN WITH LOTTO....A BIBLE GAME produced by May Smith. It is marked as a Zondervan product. The box contains 16 lotto cards with various names from Bible history. There are a number of smaller markers with various questions relating to the bible. Would make for a great learning tool for children and a great memory refresher for the adults who play with them. I don't know if the set came with directions, but there aren't any present. Just playing it like your normal Lotto or Bingo would do the trick. The contents are in good condition. The box is completely intact with a bit of missing paper and a bit of edge and corner wear.

The box artwork is a delightful period piece. Even older is this ~~Vintage Tablecloth~Crocheted Prayer~ featuring a well-known Scottish grace:

Here is a tablecloth of white cotton. It has a 3" border hem and inside the border is a crocheted border of 3" that is a payer written in the crochet. It says: Some hae meat that canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, And sea the Lord be thank it..Amen The prayer is spelled correctly and may be Gaelic, Scottish Anglican or was just done with an accent. I believe this is from c. 1910, but not positive. Freshly laundered and pressed. Measure 50 X 50.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:19 | View blog reactions

April 8, 2003

Bargains of the Day: Christian game, art and cap

The vendor of this lot of two Religious Paddleball Games doesn't have a lot to say about the product, just each of the 2 new games are in the original sealed package and the wooden paddles measure 9" picture below........................... The picture says it all, though.

The Bargain of the Day for 8th October 2002 was a picture of Jesus made from the words of John's gospel. Turns out it wasn't such an original idea. An example from 70 years ago is this UNIQUE Picture of Jesus Praying using script.

In 1929 a woman was inspired by God to draw this picture of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. Her unique style of

shading by hand lettering

incorporated

all the recorded words that Jesus spoke in the New Testament.

It is truly a rare treasure and a vision brought to light by the Spirit of God.

To View a Better picture of item cut and paste this address in your browser address bar:

http://hometown.aol.com/pccstud/myhomepage/businessMOS.html

This auction is for the print only.

Finally, an example of the sort of thing that inspired the satire below - an Onward Christian SOLDIERS OF THE LORD Cap !

One for Youself -- One for a Loved One in Iraq ! We'll ship ANYWHERE in the World and Mail to our Armed Forces ships standard mail - US Rate !

The cap is available in four colours and, as a special bonus, you will also receive A Limited Edition 'Bring out Troops home Safe' Pin at no charge. And they offer a teaser, but no link: Please see also our INDIE Christian radio comp 1999 RARE OOP Sealed CD now on eBay featuring, who else ? - SOLDIERS OF THE LORD ! The vendor has seven pages of other auctions.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:45 | View blog reactions

April 3, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jesus candle lamp

Fresh on eBay today is this Candle lamp, Jesus appears when candle lit!:

Unique Millenium Jesus Candle lamp As the candle heats the brass background, a portrait of Jesus appears. Each 6 inch heavy weighted brass product comes with it's own candle to make Jesus miraculously appear! Well, it is very unique and it is one of a kind. Special thermal technology will enable the picture of the cross to change into the picture of Jesus when the candle is lit and certain temperature is reached. Once the candle is off, the picture of the cross will appear again. When the candle is on, you will see Jesus. It works again and again. There is nothing like it on the market. No other store down the street carries it. Just in time for Easter and then enjoy it all year around? (CANDLE INCLUDED)
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:23 | View blog reactions

April 2, 2003

Bargain of the Day (Pagan edition)

Just the thing if you worship an Earth Goddess - a non-biodegradable plastic Pentacle Cross-stitched Mug.

Need a great gift for that special Wiccan friend? Want an unusal item for yourself? How about showing a sign of your faith at the office or around the coffee pot? Well, this is it. A hand made cross stitched design of black pentacles surrounds this plastic mug which is also black inside. Bacground is white and the words And it harm none are beautifully worked in red. Tag still on cup which listed for over $5.00 without the stitching. Don't miss this one of a kind item.

Despite claims, what you get is pentagrams, and not a depiction of a Pentacle.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:24 | View blog reactions

Bargains of the Day: Patriotic religious tat

Despite claims to the contrary, a signficant number of people are convinced that the US is engaged in a holy war, and appropriate tat is beginning to surface. Take this for instance (via Making Light); or this T-shirt from Bailey Family Ministries; or this 14kt Gold Plated Cross with American Flag Pin. And when the oil supplies have been secured, you can demonstrate how holy your gas-guzzler is with this **PT CRUISER, 3RD LIGHT GRAPHIC **JESUS**, an

Easy to apply vinyl graphic decal for a 3rd brake light. Comes with easy to follow instructions to apply to the inside of the glass in front of the 3rd brake light on the rear hatch. These graphics are made of a quality vinyl rated to 175 degrees and will last for years. Even though they are permanent, they can be removed easily.

Still, with all this nationalist and militarist nonsense, there's still room for the more familiar kind of tat, like this metal cozy country church with revolving steeple, which stands 13.5 inches high and plays Amazing Grace.

Update, 3rd April 2003, 12:28: Teresa Neilsen Hayden has been searching for more of this stuff and found lots.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:17 | View blog reactions

March 27, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Angel Doll

Just the thing for your child - an ANGEL DOLL-SPEAKS BIBLE VERSES & SINGS:

THIS BEAUTIFUL ANGEL DOLL DELIVERS GODS WORD. PRESS HER LEFT HAND, AND SHE SINGS, GOD LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN. PRESS HER TUMMY, AND SHE WILL SPEAK 1 OF 5 BIBLE VERSES: 1. JESUS SAID, LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME.(MARK 10:14). 2. LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, SOUL AND STRENGTH. (DEUTERONOMY 6:5) 3. I WILL SING PRAISES TO MY GOD. (PSALM 104:33). 4. GLORY TO GOD AND PEACE ON EARTH. (LUKE 2:14). 5. GOD LOVED THE WORLD SO MUCH THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON. (JOHN 3:16 PARAPHRASED). HER EYES BLINK, AND WILL CLOSE WHEN SHE LIES DOWN. SHE IS WEARING A WHITE GOWN, TRIMMED IN WHITE LACE, WITH A GOLD BOW AT THE NECK. HER WINGS SPAN APPROXIMATELY 10 INCHES, AND ARE TRIMMED IN WHITE LACE, AND GOLD RIBBON. SHE HAS BLONDE ROOTED HAIR, THAT IS ADORNED WITH A WHITE AND GOLD HALO. THE DOLL IS APPROXIMATELY 12 ½INCHES LONG. THE HEAD, ARMS, AND LEGS ARE MADE OF VINYL. USES 2 "AA" BATTERIES.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:14 | View blog reactions

March 18, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Message from Jesus

Okay, so the auction 9/11 - MESSAGE FROM JESUS newspaper cutting is really so the message itself can be seen by lots of people. The vendor, it seems, has a close relationship with her imaginary invisible friend:

Well, the Holy Spirit is nagging me again(He does do that some times!) to get this message on ebay! We will always remember 9/11. when I think about it I am sad, but lately I get angry! There will be so many making money on selling t-shirts, hats, pictures, etc. I have heard soooooo many TV personalities make terrorist jokes! When I hear them I want to scream at them.....YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY LOVED ONES LOST IN THE TRAGEDY DID YOU? Of course, they didn't or they wouldn't be laughing at it!!What a shame and how it hurts our God...our creator! I wrote this MESSAGE FROM JESUS right after the New York incident....I am sure with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit...I wanted to put it on ebay every week, but lost the picture on the computer somewhere....soooooo, with that still small voice pushing me on, I have taken another picture and am offering it to you. My husband took the message to work (he works at a newspaper office) to share with his fellow employees and they ended up putting it in the newspaper in this little town in Texas! And now the LORD is seeing to it that YOU may read it.....may you open your heart and pray for wisdom AND pray for our country and the world.....it won't be long that HE will return and we must tell the whole world that God and His son, Jesus, are ALIVE and well and that they had better prepare THEMSELVES spiritually....May GOD bless your life and your little corner of the world and may you seek the REAL truth from God's word....not what the world offers you as truth!...Bid is for the newspaper article...but the message is priceless!

The image on the page is large, so you can read it, but if you can't, don't worry - just e-mail Jeanne and she'll send you A FREE COPY!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:49 | View blog reactions

March 6, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Three shepherds clock

How can any sitting room be complete without a Jesus & The Shepards 3D Glass Shelf Clock?

You are bidding on a brand new Glass 3D Foil image of Jesus Christ & shepard children Shelf Clock w/mirror border. Beautiful 7 x 8 inch Clock features a full color foil image of Jesus Christ appearing to 3 Shepard children in the background w/a Quartz clock in the foreground. There is a mirror border surrounding the image set in a protected glass cover plate w/etched mirrored images of a couple of flowers. The fully functional clock is battery operated & requires a AA battery. The clock also has a brass pin which screws in the back of the clock which acts as a stand. Items come shipped in a protective box cover. Very nice display piece. Kind of reminds me of my Grandmothers old 3D image of Jesus Christ, use to spook me since it looked like Jesus was winking at me or something. Those of you brought up in catholic homes know exactly what I am talking about.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:46 | View blog reactions

March 3, 2003

Bargains of the Day: Jesus art

We have two bargains for you today, both of which would look absolutely exquisite adorning the walls of any abode. First there is this Jesus Christ Velvet 1979 Praying Painting:

We hit the jackpot and found this old image in the back of the warehouse. WOW!!
This is a Fabulous Velvet Jesus Christ Painting! Made in 1979!!!!
This lovely hand painted picture of Jesus is on soft deep rich velvet.
If you love Jesus or know someone who does, this is a MUST HAVE for any collector. GREAT GIFT, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!!
  • INCREDIBLE ITEM!!
  • It features:
  • Collectors Item from 1979
  • Jesus is shown kneeling and praying outside with a beam of light shining his halo
  • White, Gold, Orange, Red, Blue and Brown in color
  • Fine ART
  • Individually hand painted
  • Painted on soft deep rich velvet which is stretched over wood backing
  • Item measures 12" X 16"
  • ONE TIME SALE ONLY ON THIS PIECE

Or maybe a 3-D Lighted Picture of Jesus in Prayer is more your style:

This is a beautiful picture of Jesus praying. He is kneeling by a rock looking skyward. The picture I have included does not do this picture justice at all.
This picture measures 15 1/2"Wide X 13 1/2"High. The 3" border is a light weight metal frame with cut-outs.
The picture measures 5" thick.
It has an electric cord with an on/off knob.
This picture is from the 1950's.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 09:58 | Comments (8) | View blog reactions

February 24, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Scripture Smarties

TRANSFORM ANY OCCASION INTO A WITNESS OPPORTUNITY with Scripture Smarties:

Smarties with Scripture are fun. Each 8 oz. bag contains approximately 32 pieces and each candy piece is individually wrapped with KJV Scripture Verse.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 04:30 | View blog reactions

February 20, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jesus lamb plushie

This is Brand New and would make the Cutest Gift!, apparently.

This Little Lamb has Jesus Loves Me embroidered in it's tummy + Plus + When you squeeze it's tummy - it sings the words Yes, Jesus Loves Me! - Yes, Jesus Loves Me! - Yes, Jesus Loves Me! The Bible Tells Me So! There is a Key Chain attached that you could leave on or remove. The tag says it's not for children under the age of 5. Suggested retail 3.99.
This comes from a smoke-free home.

The same vendor is also selling this chalkware Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread ceramic thing.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:10 | View blog reactions

February 11, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Om tat

Om Planet sells

OM Symbol Auto Emblems
OM Stickers, Decals, and other OM items
Sacred and Beloved OM symbol for the Hindu, Buddhist, and practitioner of yoga
affixes to your auto in a similar way to the Darwin, fish and dove emblems
available in gold and silver matte and chrome.

Found via an advert in Spirit of Change - New England's Holistic magazine.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:01 | View blog reactions

February 7, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Names of God clock

The Bible forbids the observing of times, but that didn't stop these people making Praise God Time.

This beautiful 13" molded plastic clock is adorned with the 12 names of GOD used in the Old Testament and New Testament. Most modern Bibles have converted all these names to simply say GOD. It is important to realize the different names and the context in which they are used. These 12 names will give you a more intimate relationship with GOD and more power in your prayers...
At the top of the hour your Praise GOD Time clock will sound with PRAISE GOD, As a reminder to Praise HIS name and be thankful for all your blessings. Also as a reminder to say a prayer for those in need, to Praise GOD and ask for daily guidance from Our Father.

(via Jesus Museum)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 11:16 | View blog reactions

January 31, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Virgin Mary windchimes

There are times in our lives when words escape us and the only comfort we can offer is that of prayer, caring and reminder of faith. Those are the times when Inspirations By Micco can help you to speak without words with a precious Christian gift. And that gift is Virgin Mary Windchimes:

The handcrafted quality of each Inspirations By Micco Wind Chime perfectly captures the grace and compassion of the Blessed Mother. The handcrafted statue of the Blessed Mother is placed between a dove of peace and a prayer inscribed teardrop pendant that the lightest breeze will brush against silvery chimes to produce delicate music that echoes with a reminder of faith.

She is available as Our Lady of Medjugorje, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Lourdes, or Our Lady of Grace and in a choice of Rust, Patina and Weathered finishes. All for a mere $59.95 (US).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:49 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 30, 2003

Bargain of the Day: laser-etched Jesus

This LASER ETCHED PICTURE OF JESUS would make a tasteful addition to any Christian home:

Laser ethced rectangle glass. The etching is a picture of Jesus. There is an optional light base that illuminates it from the bottom. The light base realy enhances the etching. The light base can be ordered for an additional $5.00 U.S.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:23 | View blog reactions

January 27, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Mohel's tool box

Not religious tat, but an essential accessory for the woman about town, this Mohel's Circumcision Instrument Case is:

a BRAND NEW Stainless steel instrument case. It measures 3.75" wide x 7" long x 1.5" deep. It closes securely with four thumb screw fasteners. Case can be used in steam or dry-heat autoclave. Brushed steel finish looks very nice and you can probably have it engraved with a name or initials. I have been unable to locate a box like this so I had several of these made to my specs. The inside corners have some slight discoloration due to the welding proccess, but I have found it unnoticeable in use. If you are a Mohel, or practice any profession that requires the transport of sterile surgical instruments, this case is for you!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 10:43 | View blog reactions

January 23, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Electric mini-altar

A decorative item today - CHALKWARE? 11x11 In. GLOWLITE ELECTRIC ALTAR

This is 11 inches high x 11 inches wide x 4 1/4 inches, It has an electric plug that has to be replaced because wires are exposed on this wire. There are a couple of small chips in finish on right side bottom, 1 large chip on 1st shelf on top that holds a candle, small ones on front edge, It has 14 open holes altogether to hold 14 glass lights I have, All of them have rings around them. Then there are 2 metal 1 3/4 x 1 3/4 inch Candelabras that hold 3 candles each; 2 metal 1 3/4 inch single candle holders and 2 metal 1 3/4 inch urns, All the metal pieces are weighty, could be brass? On the 4 front bottom columns and 2 top columns there is a greenish color going down the center. There is a Picture of The Last Supper right in the front of the Altar and a picture of a Chalice on the top column. This is AS IS! Would have to be rewired and worked on.
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 09:33 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 21, 2003

Bargain of the Day: The sound of one hand ticking

Tired of being woken up suddenly in the morning? What you need is a Zen Clock. You won't be woken by the sound of one hand clapping though:

The Zen Alarm Clock's long-resonating Tibetan bell-like chime makes waking up a beautiful experience. Once you use a Zen Clock, nothing else will do! When the clock's alarm is triggered, the alloy chime strikes just once, reverberating for nearly a minute.... 3-1/2 minutes later it strikes again... chime strikes become more frequent over 10 minutes.... eventually striking every 4 seconds until shut off. During this progressive awakening, you can work on dreams and affirmation sin the Alpha State. The Zen Alarm Clock allows you to time and guide meditations, and it's also a gentle way to start or end meetings on time.

The clocks are available in a number of designs including Zodiac, Labyrinth and one representing a raked Zen garden.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:19 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

January 20, 2003

Bargain of the Day (2): Holy hot sauce

Bethlehem's Best Hot Sauce is Filled with the Spirit!!. Each label includes Bible verses of an evangelical and threatening nature. The hottest product, Firey Furnace Hot Sauce cheerfully reminds the recipient:

They will throw them into the firey furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 12:42.

Jams, BBQ sauces, syrups, marinades and speciality butters are also available.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:59 | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: Christian Kinder egg

Today we have a non-fattening treat in the form of 12 religious toy filled pastel plastic eggs - Each egg filled with one religious toy and one sticker. Assorted toys, stickers and egg colors. A great educational tool! But no chocolate.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:53 | View blog reactions

January 17, 2003

Bargain of the Day (2): Wedding game

I really can't wait 20 minutes to tell you all about this exciting game from Family Life Ministries - Simply Romantic.

uncover God's desire for your marriage. Are you romantically challenged, ? through a short book relationship experts will explain how God generously gives sexual freedom to every married couple.

Discover inmacy in a new light!
Put sizzle and anticipation into your marriage!
Reveal your spouse's romantic language!
Unveil passionate creativity!
inside are 24 sealed envelopes. Every month, you and your spouse will each pick a romantic adenture, like "Monday Night Touch Football" to rekindle the flames!
Also included is a special anniversary celebration.

Just what we need as a wedding present.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 23:43 | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: eBook of Shadows

A Book of Shadows is supposed to be a Wiccan's personal book in which they write down, by hand, their rituals and lore. It's continually updated and should be a life-long labour. But in this day and age, all that learning and copying is tedious. Why bother when you can just get this Authentic Book of Shadows e-book for your special consecrated Windows computer?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:04 | View blog reactions

Metabargain of the Day

The Detroit Free Press has an article about the appeal of religious kitsch and notes that it sells well. (via Holy Weblog )

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:34 | View blog reactions

January 16, 2003

Bargain of the Day (2): Jewish holiday dominoes

A two-in-one bargain can be had in the form of this Jewish Holidays Dominoes Games:

Match The Jewish Holiday Pictures And Play Regular Dominoes, Too!! Two Games In One! Fun and Educational Ages 3 and Up

Friday nights in the pub will never be the same again.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:49 | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: Kali bag

This Goddess Kali Shoulder Bag is An item to inspire you and enlighten.

12x15 in. Hand Made shoulder Bag with a two-Inch gussett and zipper, two inches wide multicolor cotton/rayon. Shoulder strap. The image of Kaliis in vivid colors, and mother Kali is dancing on Shiva.

I quite like Kali - she's not all twinkly and twee like certain Goddesses I could mention. I feel all inspired to go and stomp all over Charlie until he is enlightened and buys it for me!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 20:44 | View blog reactions

January 15, 2003

More Bargains of the Day

It's a good day on eBay, with lots of exciting religious tat on offer. You can keep a fundie occupied for several years with this lot of Religious Magic Cube Key Chains: each of the 2 new key chains has religious picture on the 6 sides and works like a rubics cube. Less challenging are these 12-piece jigsaws featuring Moses and the Ten Commandments and The Parting of the Sea.

A puzzle of a different sort is this piece of WATCHTOWER **10 COMMANDMENTS JEWLERY** - just what is it?

I found this with my mothers jewlery things. I dont understand how it's souposto be worn but the 10 commandments are always nice to have - not real gold - To photograph it I just laid it on the scanner but it does have a shine to it.

Want less mentally-challenging entertainment? You could get these 2 NEW 14" Beach Balls in the original sealed package that says SMILE JESUS LOVES YOU. The same vendor has water bottles, harmonicas and tote bags all bearing the same rainbow and smiley sun with the words Smile! Jesus loves you.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:47 | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: Spam for Jesus

Now you too can spam for Jesus and lose your internet access. It's as simple as: Point. Click. SAVE! with Easy E-mail Evangelism:

Now YOU can be a successful evangelist for God right from the comfort of your own home.
Easy E-mail Evangelism is the first of its kind to usher in the NEW evolution in sharing the Gospel - Internet Evangelism. This new wave of outreach is quickly extending around the globe to reach people of all nations.
This product makes is so simple to share your faith without fear. It provides you all the information you need (no matter what the situation) and it provides you a very easy way to share the information. Simply click a button (to copy the information you want) and paste it into any program you desire. Paste it into a Word document, an email or even to your own website - it's as easy as 1-2-3.

Well, I suppose it's one way of getting annoying evangelists off the net.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:11 | View blog reactions

January 14, 2003

Bargain of the Day: a penny

There are no less than five separate auctions for a Ten Commandments Pressed Penny. Though you can find machines to make such pressed pennies at tourist traps all over the world, this one has The Entire TEN Commandments imprinted on a Penny which apparently makes it a Great Witnessing Tool!. A friend of mine acquired a few on his recent trip around Europe. This auction explains why he drinks beer—it's because of the mysterious influence of the one from Prague. I dread to think of the effect of an Amsterdam pressed 2 cent piece!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:56 | Comments (4) | View blog reactions

January 13, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Christian hologram bracelet

Today's offering is a Hollogram of Last Supper Bracelet (sic.):

This unusual'hollogram' of the last supper pendant charm on a golden 7 inch bracelet makes quite a statement when worn!The image, like a spirit moves with the light. It is one of a kind!

Through her eBay store, Sweet Adeline's Novelties, vendor Adele offers A little bit of this and a little bit of that... mostly jewelry, including the same Last Supper Hollogrom on Chain, a Hollogram of Jesus, Mary, Joseph Bracelet, a Blessed Virgin Hollogrom on Chain and a Large 4 inch Golden "Jesus" on Heavy Chain. And that's not all, you see she has a purpose in life:

I have been a writer/ author for 20yrs and still do that... ;-) My new book, September 11, 2001 Remembered is now for sale on ebay at almost half price. 50% of profits going to the schloraship fund for the victims children. The rest of the money goes for printing and mailing costs. Buy an autographed book for them! Receive a FREE photo of the WTC in a wood frame with every order!
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:13 | View blog reactions

January 12, 2003

Bargains of the Day: tricky puzzle for fundies

Although billed as a Wonderful item for the Christian child, this Christian race car puzzle/LARGE pieces should keep your average adult fundie occupied for a few days trying to fit together the sixty or so pieces.

What appears to be the same vehicle is also available as a 1:24 scale die-cast model from the JC Racing Team. Fortunately, their site requires Flash to get into it, so I'll have to guess that this team is a good reason to insist all motor racing only take place on Sunday mornings.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:25 | View blog reactions

January 11, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Glow in the dark crosses

New on eBay is this lot of 12 God Is Love Glow in the Dark Crosses.

Perfect for the nightstand, window ledge, car dashboard or any other spot to bring reassurance of God's love during the nighttime hours. Comforting for children and adults alike. White in daylight...glow yellow-green at night; 3 1/2" cross on a 2 1/2" base.

They would use much less electricity than the nightlights featured on 5th January.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:41 | View blog reactions

January 7, 2003

Bargains of the Day: nun tat

The image of a nun in traditional habit is one of enduring appeal, and one that inspires all sorts of amazing products. But picking out one or two exceptional items proved impossible. Here, instead, is the search I made.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:31 | View blog reactions

January 6, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Heavenly love wrap

Via Teresa Nielsen Hayden's Making Light comes this SACRED RAINBOW HEAVENLY LOVE WRAP:

REMEMBER,said the WUNJO CROW
You are a SACRED BEING,
Love yourself,
Embrace your shadows and you will find joy in who you are

DESIGNED AND HAND COLOURED IN THE CENTRAL DESERT AREA OF AUSTRALIA BY KYE AND GILL OF WUNJO CROW CLOTHING.KYE HAS BEEN CREATING CLOTHES THAT CELEBRATE OUR BEAUTY,FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS AND WAS JOINED BY GILL,HER PARTNER,8 YEARS AGO,WHO BROUGHT WITH HIM,A WONDERFUL SENSE OF COLOUR, TOGETHER,THEY MAKE A GREAT TEAM.

WUNJO CROW CLOTHING IS MADE WITH JOY AND CELEBRATION

EACH GARMENT IS INDIVIDUALLY DYED ** THEREFORE NO TWO GARMENTS ARE EVER THE SAME

This LOVELY HOODED SHAWL is DIVINE,superbly coloured in your very own MAGICAL Rainbow. Once again in rayon, a delicate soft knitted fabric which is a joy to wear (JUST ASK ANYONE WHO HAS PURCHASED ONE)

will look GORGEOUS WRAPPED AROUND THE SHOULDERS OF ANY GODDESS.{free size}

SEWN WITH LOVE ,SPRINKLED WITH MAGIC MADE TO CELEBRATE YOU
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:12 | View blog reactions

January 5, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Jesus night light

Do you have a deep and abiding religious faith, but are still scared of things that go bump in the night? What you need is a Jesus night light NIB bulb included:

Beautiful night light provides security and safety, low wattage bulb included with this brand new light in the original package. Made of resilent plastic with rotary shade and wall hugger construction. Let his light , light your way.

Another religious nightlight comes in the form of Praying Hands. Seeing these reminded me of some novelty lightbulbs I saw in a shop in Amsterdam. While searching for them, I discovered these charming Praying Angel lamps (Beware - the site is a Cookie Monster):

Your choice of angel and cherubs, or kneeling angel. Standing angel is painted in pastel colors; praying angel is in all-ivory. Made of resin. Each 15-1/4"H overall.Uses 40-Watt bulb (not included).

This Novelty Light Bulb-Crucifix is an older, more elegant version of what I'm looking for, and shows that religious tat is not a recent phenomenon:

This unusual novelty light bulb encapsulates Jesus on the Cross. The bulb glows neon red when lit and measures 4" in height. This bulb is most assuredly vintage with a brass bottom and Aerolux-New York stamped around metal rim. In fine working order now, but since this bulb is old I can not guarantee how long it will burn. It came from an estate, which mentioned the bulb was only used on the holidays.

So, I returned to eBay. They have Masonic light bulbs (and Eastern Star and Shriner ones) and several skull-shaped blacklight bulbs (which I quite liked), but it looks like I'll have to go back to Amsterdam to photograph the bulbs I spotted--shame.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 01:10 | View blog reactions

January 4, 2003

Bargain of the Day: car mezuzah

Today we have a unique mezuzah for your car.

The mezuzah measures approximately 1 1/3 inches in length, 1/3 inch in width and 1/2 inch in height. The scroll is encased in a clear glass tube (through which you can see the scroll) which is surrounded by silvertoned scrolling spelling "Shaddai" in Hebrew letters.

Why would you need such a thing? Jewish Law does not require a mezuzah in the car, but it is a lovely reminder of faith and a wonderful momento from Israel, the seller claims. Charlie says It's religious tat.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:58 | View blog reactions

January 3, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Pray And Grow Thin

Eat less, exercise more -- that's the only guaranteed way to lose weight and keep it off. But it's hard work, and a bit of magic can help keep that willpower up. But what about those poor Christians who aren't supposed to indulge in that particular form of headology? Help is at hand with Pray And Grow Thin:

Better introduce myself, my name is Ron Rogers.... I know we're just meeting through this letter, but what I'm about to share with you could CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER, it did for me....
But wait....I know when you accessed this page, you expected to hear about PRAY AND GROW THIN. Well hold on.....you won't be disappointed, utilizing the secrets you'll learn in this book, you can lose all the weight you need to.
But here is the amazing part, the power of prayer is THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE. Utilizing it's power is tapping the very heart of the Creator. The one who made the heavens and the earth, with His help you can achieve anything you desire in life... IT'S TRUE!

And now, through the wonders of electronic publishing, Windows users can have the entire book for a mere $9.95! (there's a PDF version for other platforms, but not in this auction).

And there's more...

I knew Pray and Grow Thin was an excellent book, but I wanted to give you something extra FREE. But what? Well I figured if you're like me, I'd like to find a word or verse that nails the way I feel, but I'm no theologian. What I did was this; I wrote letters, made phone calls, talked and talked, etc., and here's what I found. All of us at one time or another share about 36 common problems. I had several experts look into these and they found ONE VERSE FOR EACH DAY of the week per section. So, we have 36 sections x 7 (days in the week) giving a total of 252 (Two Hundred Fifty Two). I think you'll like this, it's been very helpful to me and others who've used it.

And remember - With Pray and Grow Thin, the power of the universe is at your beck and call through God.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:03 | View blog reactions

January 1, 2003

Bargain of the Day: Six religious foam gliders

The sky's the limit with these six religious foam gliders:

this auction is for 6 new FOAM RELIGIOUS GLIDERS the gliders measure 6 and a half inches in length and say FLY WITH THE LORD each glider will be in the original sealed package the 6 gliders will be assorted colors

They're not very decorative though, nowhere near as much fun as the rubber-powered flying Isis I bought in a museum shop in the US a few years ago.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:18 | View blog reactions

December 26, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Christian tattoos

The Bible prohibits proper tattoos but has nothing to say about the stick-on variety, hence this auction for BRIGHT RELIGIOUS TATTOOS!!!!!!!L@@K 4 DOZ.

Hi what you are bidding on is 48 temporary tattoos that you could use for sunday school, awana, etc. These are really cute and would be fun for the kids. Thanks for looking and be sure to check out my other kid friendly auctions.

So I did. The same seller also offers a ROLL OF BIBLE VERSE STICKERS!! 100 ON ROLL!!: - a roll of cute stickers that have verse references on them Like John 3:16 etc..

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:39 | View blog reactions

December 25, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Anti-Satan exorcism

We all know that Christmas is nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with the Winter Solstice, so why not protect yourself from the evils of the season with this Exorcism Against Satan (for use by laity)?

THIS IS A WONDERFUL DOCUMENT DISCRIBING STEP BY STEP PRAYER FORMULA FOR EXORCISM AGAINST SATAN AND ALL EVIL SPIRITS (FOR USE BY LAITY) FROM BEGINING TO END, INCLUDING REFERANCES TO SCRIPTURE, AGAINST EVIL, COMES IN A CLEAR VINAL BINDER.GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS+

This prayer to St. Michael will cost you $5 (US) right now.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:41 | View blog reactions

December 24, 2002

Bargain of the Day: God lightstick

The I Love God LED Battery Operated Light Stick is just like other light sticks but, these are clear and have (I Love GOD)engraved inside. Buy it now for $5 (US), or just bid 2 cents.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:45 | View blog reactions

December 22, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Huggy Jesus rag doll

Huggy Jesus is a Jesus rag doll. Buy one and you can Share His love with this precious gift for your children or grandchildren. It's too late if you wanted to get it as a Christmas pressie but you are encouraged to order for shipping in January. Remember, the sooner you order your Huggy Jesus, the lower and more valuable your number will be! (Thanks, Pat - I think).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 13:52 | View blog reactions

December 19, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Bible food

House of David is America's premier distributor of religious health products and Bible foods. To qualify, foods must satisfy five criteria, only 2.5 of which are sensible:

  1. They must be beneficial both for physical and spiritual well being.
  2. They must have some identifying link to religious faith and the Bible.
  3. All Bible foods must contain no additives, chemicals, preservative, etc. and be made from organic ingredients whenever possible.
  4. Bible food products directly from the Holy Land are always most desirable.
  5. All Bible food products should be well labeled, well manufactured, good tasting and reasonably priced.

The Bible Bar is a typical product:

The Bible Bar is a complete, wholesome food jam packed with nutritional and spiritual goodness. Bible Bars are a highly effective appetite regulator based on the seven foods from the Book of Deuteronomy; Wheat, Barley, Honey, Olive Oil, Figs, Pomegranates and Grapes. Here's a great way to control hunger pangs while still providing your body with the highest level of biblical nutrition. Also available in a 6 pack box.

Should keep you regular, at least. (Thanks, Alex.)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:54 | View blog reactions

December 13, 2002

Bargain of the Day must be catching on.

Corsair the Rational Pirate has drawn my attention to this delightful coprolite, sorry, Holy Relic Of The True Cross Of Jesus Christ, an extremely rare relic ... made by Christian artisans almost 1400 years ago in 630 AD in The Holy Land, from a portion of The True Cross!. As Corsair puts it,

It must be real! It has a certificate! From an antique dealer in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And we all know that the full name of the New Mexico state capital is "Villa Real de la Santa Fe de San Francisco de Asis," or "Royal Village of the Holy Faith of St. Francis of Assisi". So they must be "in the know" with the big man upstairs. And if he says that this is a piece of the cross that they nailed him to, then they must be right!

Bidding ends in a couple of days (on Sunday - naughty, naughty!) and currently stands at $349.00 but you can buy it now for $449.00. The same vendor also has an Antique Jewelled Reliquary w/True Cross Relic:

This is a very lovely and rare piece found in Quebec, Canada (Ste-Anne-de-Beaupre), with an age of around 100 years! This reliquary holds a relic of 2 slivers in the shape of a cross, from the True Cross of Jesus (Cruc.D.N.I.C.), with Vatican seal and strings intact. The reliquary is 14 1/2" tall and has an amazing filigree artistry of golden and silver design, accentuated with 70 stunning red jewels ( none missing! ). There is only a very little hole on the handle at the back of this reliquary, as seen in the picture, otherwise it is in excellent condition. Unfortunately these pictures do not capture the true beauty of this piece. Bidding for this exquisite piece is for the reliquary. The relic is a gift.

Just the thing for camp goths with $500 to spare.

Contributions to Bargain of the Day are always welcome, and remember - the Prattle is an equal-opportunity piss-taker and tat of all religions is welcome.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:01 | Comments (3) | View blog reactions

December 12, 2002

Bargains of the Day: pansy Jesus and a paperweight

New on eBay today is a set of five floral 'figurines' spelling 'JESUS':

Each has substantial weight and has a rope design in blue with pink roses and a touch of yellow and green. The base color is off-white. The widest letter is 2 1/4" wide and all are approximately 2 7/8" high. These figurine letters will offer a spiritual note to your décor, whether they are used for Easter or any day of the year.

Marginally more tasteful is a Jesus paperweight, made of 'carved' glass - Jesus is standing next to a cross with sunrays in the background. More colourful is this Smile God Loves You Oriental Folding Fan - a highly expensive 10 1/4" paper fan with plastic handles will help remember Jesus's love.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:22 | View blog reactions

December 10, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Golf shirt for vicars

This Clergy Collar Tab Golf Shirt is burgundy, with a white collar tab insert:

It is a casual short sleeve golf shirt made by Carolina Shirt Company with a three button placket down the front.It retails at Cokesbury for $38.00 and is new with tags. The fabric is a heavy 100% cotton knit with a pebble weave similar to the traditional Izod brand. This would be a great Christmas present or gift for your favorite Pastor... The pictures are not the best. It truly is a great shirt.

It's an XXL - I would get it for Pastor Best, but they only ship to the US.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:30 | View blog reactions

December 4, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Ticket to Heaven

You know you deserve it, so why not book your Ticket to Heaven now?

Make a Statement about your commitment to living a lifestyle that ultimately rewards you with your place in Heaven. Let this Symbolic Ticket and Certificate Of Authenticity serve as a constant reminder of what it takes to remain faithful to your beliefs.

Only $19.95 (US) plus Sales Tax if resident in California.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:38 | View blog reactions

December 3, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Jesus jelly beans

Take eight Jelly Belly beans and package them with a cheap label and you get Jesus JellyBeans.

Wonderful idea for table or banquet place settings, and great for adorning Christmas gifts, stocking stuffers, and sharing with friends, family and co-workers during the holidays. Pass them out and watch people be blessed.

Blessing includes leaving them as tips instead of the infinitely more useful cash, and if this idea catches on, it'll be a huge blessing to dentists.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:51 | View blog reactions

November 28, 2002

More Bargains of the Day: a lump of wood, a cup and a clock

This 6" by 8.5" (18cm by 21.5cm) slab of Northern Pine isn't just any old lump of wood. This one displays a lovely colored foil picture of the cross. Fellow connaisseurs should also take up the invitation to visit the vendor's eBay Store for many more similarly tasteful items.

Is your desk a mess? Make it that little bit tidier with a Fruit of the Spirit Pencil Cup:

It is really unique. check out the picture. it is made by Christian world, inc. collectibles by Lori Kim Gan Designs 1999. I believe the material is a type of ceramic. There is a gold colored ban that says "The fruit of the spirit on it. Then there is a raised bunch of grames. On the saucer there are 2 strawberries and a bon bon. They look realistic. . What a unique and beautiful gift item or to set on your desk.

If timekeeping is your problem, the $1 (US) reserve has yet to be met on this Inspirational solid oak clock, complete with that Bible verse about there being a season for everything. The seller has loads of clocks for sale, with equally inspiring themes.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:45 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

Bargain of the Day: Instant witch kit

Ever wanted to be a witch but were put off by the hassle of learning all those correspondences, stocking up on all those essential herbs and making all those bits and pieces you need for performing effective magick? Well, there's no need to bother with all that any more - just invest in a Mini Magic Witchie Kit!

Have you ever wanted to turn your co-worker into a frog, make a wish for a better day, or just make magic happen in a very short period of time? Now you can with this Mini Magick Kit, for the 'witchie on the fly'? For your magical workings each kit includes: 6 itty bitty candles and 2 itty bitty candle holders, 4 mini bags of herbs and a bag of 13 mini stones. A teeny weeny incense burner and 4 cone incense. A small plastic cauldron and a mini magical broom. These are all stored in a 4x6 pouch with a 'witchie on the fly' emblem. Various colors for the witchie on the emblem - green, purple, copper glitter, green glitter, ruby glitter, pink, multi glitter.

The cauldron looks suspiciously like the hallowe'en item I use as a pot for one of the pitcher plants.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:43 | View blog reactions

November 23, 2002

Bargain of the Day: bonsai Jesus tomb

This New Sophistecatedly Designed Jesus Tomb (sic.) is:

an identical version of the real lord jesus grave , it is sophisticatedly made and it follows every single word according to the holy bible disribtion . it was hand made in jerusalem in the holy land . If you take a look at it from the outside, i believe that 2 things will interest you ...first , the rock that is in a shape of a circle and here i must say that this grave is made of materials taken from the real one !!! And second , the sentence that is hand craved on the edge " HE IS NOT HERE " !!! this is a three dimentional version , and if you open it from the top you will manage to see the grave from the inside , splitted into 2 parts just like it says in the holy bible. We highlight its quality .

It looks big enough to bury a mouse in.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:10 | View blog reactions

November 20, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Bible keyring

Now you've no excuse for not reading the Bible when for a mere 99 cents (US) you can have an ACTUAL READABLE BIBLE ON A KEY RING

The bible measures 1 1/4"wide X 1 1/2"tall X 1/2" thick. The bible is connected to a heavy duty key ring by a metal chain. What a great conversation piece, a complete readable bible you can have with you all the time. Makes a great stocking stuffer !! Order more than 1, the price is great !! DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS ONE !!

Hurry - only 200 available!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:01 | View blog reactions

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

Sexy calendars are big business in Italy, and one of this year's offerings features an extremely unvirginal Mary in a range of scenes inspired by the life of Christ.

April is a bare-breasted Virgin Mary, halo shining above her head, with her arms held out to reveal bleeding palms like the wounds of Christ on the cross, and wearing nothing but a transparent loin cloth and white high heels.

Not-so-virginal Madonnas grace calendar - IOL, November 20th 2002.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 19:00 | View blog reactions

November 9, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Chanukah snowglobe

This Musical Hannukah Waterball is a special seasonal snowglobe:

To celebrate the eight days of Hannukah, this musical water globe features a beautiful menorah complemented by the Star of David. Tune: Hava Nagila. And, there's more. When you turn this waterball upside down, it rains crystal snow. Perfect for any child or adult who's a child at heart. Just give the music box a twist to remember the Hannukah's of bygone years, when life was so much simplier.

Despite the promise of a free gift, I don't think Charlie's mother would appreciate it.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 18:41 | View blog reactions

November 7, 2002

Bargains of the Day: More Christian games

The Christian Ungame is a Christian board game published in 1975 and recommended by James Dobson. A potential copyright infringer is Bibleopoly, where you have to accumulate good deeds.

In the midst of all this kindness, players travel through cities mentioned in the Bible. Careful! Don't land in the Abyss! City Cards, like street cards in Monopoly, give brief biblical descriptions of the various cities. Faith Cards may ask players facts about the cities or to recite Bible verses. The winner of Bibleopoly is the first person to build a church, which requires many offerings.

You start at In the Beginning...

November 5, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Holy dildoes

Divine Interventions Silicone Dildos are a range of

...high-quality silicone dildos (and butt-toys) in the shapes of religious figures. Perfect gifts for the iconoclasts in your life. We feel they are a light-hearted, humorous look at the relationship between religion and sex...

The range includes Buddha, the Devil, the Grim Reaper, Jackhammer Jesus, the Virgin Mary and a Diving Nun, which will no doubt be popular with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. A Baby Jesus Butt-Plug is also available. (Thanks, Avedon)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat and Willies at 18:01 | View blog reactions

November 1, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Christian puzzles and games

Here's something for the religious fundamentalist in need of a challenge - a 28-piece jigsaw depicting the Crucifixion!

This auction is for a 28 piece board puzzle entitled The Crucifixion. It has the appearance of a watercolor print and is actually quite beautiful. I do not know if it is "vintage", but it appears to be old. It measures 10.5 x 14 inches. The sturdy cardboard back has some light scribblings of a child, but in no way detract from the beauty of this unusual puzzle.

Despair at your child's obsession with Pokethulhu? Give them a starter pack of 'Saints' Holy Trading Cards:

Encourage your kids to trade holy cards! They have great role models on them! This is a starter pack of 10 different cards with a wide variety of saints. Bookmark this page - more holy cards to come! Lots of other bargains too. Peace be with you.

There's also an expansion pack available.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:08 | View blog reactions

October 31, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Happy Hallowe'en

Here's the perfect Samhuinn present for teachers everywhere: a customisable You can't scare me... T-shirt.

Posted by Feòrag in Hallowe'en and Religious Tat at 02:47 | View blog reactions

October 24, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Various talismans and a trippy mirror

According to my calculations, I've been on 28 flights this year so far, and it's a miracle I'm still alive because I did it all without the help of a Guardian Angel for Flying, a gold-coloured brooch of a chubby 747 with an angel on the wing:

A traveler's Guardian Angel
Will protect you when you fly
Keep you safe and guide you
Across the open sky.

And here was me thinking it was air traffic control, VORs, DMEs and other radio navigation aids. Nor is Sekhmet safe without a brass Guardian Angel for Cats hanging from her collar. In case she thinks I don't love her enough, I can wear a Cat Angel Pin:

Wear this special angel pin
As a symbol of your love
For your precious little pet
Protected from above

But what first attracted me to this vendor's page was a stunning Crucifix Infinity Cross Mirror:

"BREATH TAKING" THIS IS AN INSPIRATIONAL JOURNEY! WHEN YOU LOOK INTO THE MIRROR ...IT CONTINUES ON AND ON! YOU MUST SEE IT FOR YOURSELF! APPROX.11" X 14". (OFF AND ON SWITCH) AND WHEN YOU TURN IT OFF IT'S A REGULAR FRAMED MIRROR! IT'S "BEAUTIFUL", A REAL CONVERSATION ITEM. (BRAND NEW IN BOX)

Do not use in combination with hallucingens.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 02:17 | View blog reactions

Oy, have I got a bargain for you already

It's not just Christians who are prone to religious tat, and Judaism has a several thousand year start. What about these three Chanukah pens? (sorry, buggered the link up and didn't realise until it had expired

It's the 'write' idea for sending holiday greetings.... great for school or to give as a gift!. Dark blue, and light blue, letters in Gold. Pens are 5 3/4 inches tall. Comes from smoke free home, feel free to email me with any questions that you might have.

Your child more into sports than literature? Give them the Sports Mezuzah:

This brand new, packaged sports Mezuza would be a great gift for that boy on your Chanukah list! This 5 inch tall 1 1/2 inch wide ceramic mezuza is brightly hand painted. Has a baseball, basketball, soccer ball, and football. Parchment included, I don't see any nails for hanging.

Perhaps this Plush Dancing Dreidel Toy is more your style, though Charlie insists that this Musical Dreidel Top, which lights up and plays a song, is not religious tat (even if it is cheap plastic), but a perfectly traditional Chanukah toy. I didn't ask about the puppy.

Update, 22.53pm: This Baseball Chanukah Menorah appeared on eBay a couple of hours ago:

Attention all baseball fans! Here is the menorah for you! You are bidding on a charming Chanukah menorah with a baseball theme. This item is ceramic, approximately 10"x5" and stands six inches high at its tallest point which is a scoreboard declaring Happy Hanukah.

The vendor will ship worldwide, too!

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 02:11 | View blog reactions

October 23, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Nativity globe and pink Jesus

This Nativity Musical Water Globe sounds like something from GnomeMart:

Brand New! Double-level musical water globe with nativity, very detailed. 7" diameter x 10 3/8" high. Plays Silent Night.

Jesus Etched on White Granite is a disappointment - the artist is a computer:

Etched into a 12 x 12 x 1/4" piece of pure white granite is this unique composition made up of thousands of crosses to create Jesus' image. The close-up picture shows how amazing and unique this art is. The image is etched with a highly accurate, computer-controlled laser. The image is cut away then washed with color.

A pink Jesus - does Pat Robertson know?

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 02:03 | View blog reactions

October 22, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Miscelleneous tat

This REAL Wood Hand Crafted Religious Desk Clock is ideal for your desk or a table where you don't have much room. It stands 6" tall & operates on one AA battery. Bidding is currently at $2.99 with nearly a week to go.

Or how about the Through-the-Bible-In-A-Year Mousepad™! for a mere $9.95?

The best part is, you don't even have to have your Bible handy - Just go to the website listed on the mousepad, and read that day's scripture in ANY BIBLE VERSION that you'd like! It just doesn't get better than this.

In the interests of fairness, I ought to mention the WITCHES CHEST! L@@K! Loaded ! No Reserve!, which is a small rattan chest with metal hinges, handle, and the coolest latch containing herbs, polished stones (and a bag to put them in), One pair of Rune Earrings (warrior), a pendant, candles, candleholders, incense sticks and an incense burner. WOW!. The same seller also has a Wholesale Lot of Assorted Charm Pendants, and some potentially useful job lots of candles, bottles and jars.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 01:58 | View blog reactions

October 11, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Toys from Heaven

Toys from Heaven is an online retailer selling Christian toys, biblical toys promoting decency, morals and creativity for today's child. Featuring religious toys priced below retail. Jesus Museum has already noticed the Bible Greats Calvary playset, which enables your child to re-enact the crucifixion (nails not included).

Grand Prix fans might want the Virtue Series Race Cars (scroll to the bottom of the page). The five car series—Love, Compassion, Faith, Courage and Joy—-Promotes and encourages young people to think about character and values. All cars are highly detailed and Virtues Trading Cards are included.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:35 | View blog reactions

October 8, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Jesus picture, plectrums and the Jesus diet

Jesus picture made from Gospel John "words":

THIS GREAT 15" X 19" PICTURE OF JESUS PRAYING IS REALLY ALL THE WORDS OF THE GOSPEL OF JOHN ARTISTICALLY MADE INTO THE FACE OF JESUS

---VERY UNUSUAL AND BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART BY ARTIST GWANG HYUK RHEE---

YOU CAN ACTUALLY READ THE ENTIRE GOSPEL OF JOHN---75,000 LETTERS---FROM THIS UNUSUAL WORK OF ART
FRAME IT FOR A BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART FOR YOUR HOME OR OFFICE---THIS VINTAGE PRINT WAS DISCOVERED IN SOME OLD WAREHOUSE STOCK AND IS A RARE FIND ! ! !

You have nearly a week to bid on this and the auction stands at $9.99 right now. Other new auctions today include 12 Reflective foil Christian guitar picks ($6.50) and The Bible's Diet. Delicious Weight Plan ($5.00).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:27 | Comments (1) | View blog reactions

October 7, 2002

Bargain of the Day: EvengeCube

Bring people in the third world to Jesus with the EvangeCube! It's one of those fold out cube jobbies, with pictures of Jesus on it—bound to impress anyone under the age of about three. They also sell EvangeCane, EvangeCandy, posters and tracts.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:18 | View blog reactions

October 4, 2002

Bargains of the Day: cuddly Biblical plagues and other kosher delights

Got all the plush Cthulhus? How about a bag of four plush Biblical plagues to keep them company?

O-o-o-o-h! Scary Passover fun (but not for Pharoah). Bag holds cute little locust, cow, frog and flea. Pull their cords and they buzz and wiggle.

Only $15 (US) from JewishSource.com. $48 will get you a set of eight "Oy Macca Beans":

Original Set of Eight huggable, squeezable and lovable animals. Each includes a tag showing name, birthday and memorable biblical parable. With creatures like Gefilte the fish and Jacub the bear, this colorful beanie animal set is sure to provide hours of imaginary play.

Other delights include Mr. Rock 'n' Roll Musical Dreydel (When you squeeze his left foot, he sings, strums the guitar and taps his foot to the music, Chanukkah O Chanukkah.) and the Kosher Plush Dog Bone Squeaky Toy.

(Thanks Charlie, who got it from Mike at Transreal Books)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:14 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions

October 1, 2002

Book summaries

I have a vast collection of loony fundie nonsense and other strange religious literature. It ranges from the hate-filled lies which fuelled the Satanic abuse myth of the late 1980s to stuff which is, well, just odd. It's too good just to sit there taking up bookshelf space, and so as a new feature here at the Prattle I'm going to add summaries of the books - what do they claim, information about the author and their influence in the world at large. The first book is one I picked up at a local car boot sale last Sunday - Marc Dem's The Lost Tribes from Outer Space explains that the Jews are really the separate creation of a space alien, JHWH, and he's coming back to take them somewhere better any day now (and destroy the rest of us in the process).

Update, 6th April 2003: These now have their own category and will appear in the Prattle as they are done.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 21:50 | View blog reactions

September 29, 2002

Bargains of the Day: GI Jesus, jesus illusion and angelic pets

eBay is a remarkable source for unique religious artifacts. It's now too late for you to bid on a Custom Jesus KING OF KINGS GI Joe figure.

You are bidding on the greatest figure ever made! Now your 12 inch figures can have salvation and redemption from the one and only SON OF GOD. This figure was hand sculpted, cast in resin, hand painted, clearcoated and epoxied onto a 21st Century figure. The figure was done in the likeness of the late actor Jeffrey Hunter, known for His incredible portrayal of Christ in the movie "King of Kings". The figure has interchangeable hands (3 included) and comes with a Holy Grail cup. Stand included.

Surprisingly, it's rather nicely done, and went for $325! Still available, and somewhat cheaper is the Jesus Christ appears IN YOUR ROOM! T Shirt, currently at $7.99.

STARE AT THE DOTS BETWEEN HIS EYES FOCUSING ON THE CENTER DOT FOR THIRTY SECONDS AND THEN LOOK AWAY.WHEREVER YOU LOOK THERE HE IS! IT'S LIKE MAGIC!... Dedicated to a QUALITY product and PROMPT delivery to the winner. ... Give the vision of Christ today! For best results : Look at the (still) image straight on a few feet back. This may require some effort if the shirt is being worn at the time. Focus on the middle of the five dots that are between the eyes, on the nose area of the image for 20 to 30 seconds (the longer the better) . Then look away, preferably at a wall or anything that is one solid color and you should see Him wherever you look with no problem. Blinking of the eyes often helps the non-believers. Repeated staring and looking away is not recomended. This is strictly a novelty item and should not be used in a way as to represent a true sighting of Jesus. Have fun.

Dog lovers might like the Unique Poodle Angel, one of a range of 219 different angel dogs sold by Country Heaven, and also available as Christmas tree ornaments. Lovers of cats, bears, frogs, pigs and cows are not left out either.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:33 | View blog reactions

September 16, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Baby brainwashing, and yukky poster

It's never too young to start brainwashing your child, and for a mere $4.99, ProductsForBaby.com will sell you The Genesis Teether - a plastic ring with the word "Jesus" in it.

The Genesis TeetherTM makes a nice item to go with a balloon bouquet or a gift basket. It goes with two things we are going to have more of every day - babies and Christians.

The site promises more new Christian baby products over the next few months. (via Jesus Museum).

If you're quick and in the United States, you have just over a day to bid on Our Christian President at eBay.

Our Christian President is a pictorial representation of the ultimate goal of every Christian. That is, that when men look at us, they will see Jesus. Jesus in our words, Jesus in our conduct, Jesus in the love we have for one another. Pres. George W. Bush is striving to fulfill that goal while serving all of us in the toughest job in the country.

The picture was created using outcroppings from hundreds of classic paintings of Jesus Christ, mainly from the Renaissance period. Over 1,500 individual tiles were taken from paintings by masters like Michelangelo, Rembrandt, Raphael, Titian, da Vinci and many others.

The tiles that make up the picture are large enough to be individually viewed. You can see and enjoy hundreds of different representations of the face of Jesus Christ.

Ten copies of this 'open edition' fine art print are up for grabs, it can be yours for only $15. (via bOINGbOING)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:11 | View blog reactions

September 15, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Get Slim Slippers

The latest craze in Singapore, Get Slim Slippers, are now available on on the web! The slippers are being marketed at people too lazy to lose weight by the traditional "eat less, get more exercise" method:

We all know how to lose weight: diet and exercise, right? If weight loss is so simple, then why do we have such a hard time doing it? Because diet and exercise require us to change our habits, and this isn't so easy. No matter how determined we are at the start, old habits are hard to change.

What if I told you that there is a way to lose weight without joining a gym or changing your eating habits? Get Slim Slippers are the way, to be worn daily for a short period of time.

Apparently they work by a combination of magnetism, reflexology and gravity:

Weird though it sounds, these Slippers actually work. The principles they are based on are simple: reflexology, magnet therapy, gravity; ideas that may seem new to you, but are as old as time itself.

Get Slim Slippers are designed with No Heel and Magnets, in order to apply pressure on the arches and to increase your metabolism naturally. This combination will affect your body in ways you have never felt before.

The site gives more detail for the unconvinced:

With Get Slim Slippers, you will not go on a diet, change your eating habits, take any medicine or do lots of exercises just to get slim. The 6 powerful magnets located near the surface of the slippers will, when walking, stimulate the nerve endings in the sole and increase blood circulation. This effect will speed up your metabolism and improve digestion and elimination. This process helps to get you slimmer, reshape your body, and improve your health.

But be careful if you have any piercings - contraindications include people having metal in their body (other than dental fillings). Looks like I'll have to stick to eating Japanese food, clog morris dancing and nude swimming. Shame.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 17:03 | View blog reactions

September 9, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Californian miscelleny

I'm back from California, where I learned about many exciting products, such as the ANGELITE hair dryer which was advertised as able to prevent leukemia and possible breast cancer from hair driers.

This Christian teddy bear (sure to bring your loved one to Jesus) is typical Prattle material:

Does your heart long for your loved one to be saved? Lead your loved ones to salvation, give them a cute adorable 21 inch christian teddy bear, available at a very special price of $24.95 each. These are fancy bears. "Jesus Bears It All" is embroidered on each teddy bear collar and includes an evangelism tract sure to draw them to salvation. Jesus Is Still The Answer to eternal life and peace!!

But Jesus doesn't have all the toys. Dr. Mira Bears of Healing Spirit are part of a range of physician-created gifts & tools for natural wellness:

Say hello to eight different, loving, wise new friends with unique wellness themes. The healing features include herbal aromatherapy, magnets, crystals, copper, color, and more. Each teddy bear comes with a box of six herbal sachets for the back pocket of the bear and a beautiful educational booklet.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:54 | View blog reactions

August 25, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Chi condoms

A new condom which vibrates by drawing on the body's own energy, ki (chi), is selling well in Japan. A representative of marketing company Ii Project told the Shukan Post:

Various substances emit vibrating waves. These create an extremely weak energy, which we think is how ki manifests itself. As each of these substances has its own fixed pattern of throbbing, we have learned that throwing them all together creates a variety of influences. These substances quivering together have given the vibrating condom some amazing features. We've had some customers tell us how it has given them greater staying power or permitted greater sensation.

New vibrating condom unlocks the power of kiMDN WaiWai, August 24th 2002.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat and Willies at 16:44 | View blog reactions

August 23, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Jesus watches

London-based Jesus Watches is a Holy Ghost filled Christian Company, which was formed in January 2001, to promote and further the work of GOD in this world. Their watches range in price from a very reasonable £14.99 to a much more painful £520.

As a Christian organisation, we have set up to spread the gospel and these quality attractive watches act as a Christian witness to bring many to JESUS, from elegant watches to multi-functional chronograph sports watches, JESUS WATCHES designs have captured the world, Christendom, men and women's imagination. Utilising the highest calibre movement from around the world including Switzerland, France and Japan, constructed from the finest materials, JESUS WATCHES offer unquestioned quality and reliability at affordable prices.

You can also buy pens and calculators marked with the company's J3SUS logo. (via Jesus Museum)

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:40 | View blog reactions

August 21, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Groovy T-shirts

BioResonant Chakra Shirts might look like groovy psychedelic T-shirts to you, but they're special:

What is Bioresonance? In bio-resonant garments, vibrations of light (colors) are scientifically tuned and combined in an effort to resonate with electro-photonic bio-emissions of the human body, of which body heat is a part of. Multi-color patterns worn directly on skin seem to cause considerable stimulation and coherent improvement of our bio-emissions, as measured by bio-electrography, which is the phenomenon that Dr. Chalko calls bio-resonance.

Black might be flattering, but it's bad for your health: wearing black creates weakening and fragmenting of our electro-photonic bio-energy field... wearing and promoting black clothes seems to be an act against human Nature and well being.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:39 | View blog reactions

August 4, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Holy socks

The latest offering from the Religious Tat department comes from a Scottish company—Holy Socks. Did you know that there are more than 600 references to feet and walking in the Bible? With so many references to feet in the Bible, it seems logical that we have Holy Socks. Even though there are no references to socks in the Bible—would the Son of God commit such a fashion faux pas as wearing socks with sandals?

At Holy Socks we design and sell socks with Biblically inspired motifs. We've got Daniel & his Lions, Jonah and the Whale, Crook and Sheep design. To see our selection of designs and sizes click on the foot button below. Our sizes range from Children's 9-12 to adult large size and we have recently added a Baby Holy Sock.

As well as ordering the socks, the site features a special Holy Sock song, downloadable as an MP3:

As Jesus kneels to wash the feet
Of those who love his name
So may we too
Give feet their due
And Holy Socks a home
Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 16:02 | View blog reactions

July 5, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Holy water spray

Eternal Word Television Network has a supporting organisation, EWTN Religious Catalogue, Inc to sell all sorts of Catholic stuff to viewers. As well as the expected books, rosaries and figurines, they sell a Guardian Angel Holy Water Atomizer for a mere $20 (US):

This unique holy water atomizer can be either hand held or wall mounted. When wall mounted you can press on the top to take a spray of Holy Water and say a prayer as you leave your home. When you return you can take another spray and another prayer. This gives a wonderful peace of mind. This one has a gold plated guardian angel on it. Measures 4.5 inches.

Also available - a watch depicting the Virgin Mary urging you to PRAY PRAY PRAY. (via Pop Culture Junk Mail).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:06 | View blog reactions

Going out in style

A Glasgow shipyard worker turned minister has built what he describes as the world's first fully-enclosed motorcycle sidecar hearse. The sidecar, attached to a Triumph Speed Triple motorbike, has enough room for a large coffin and flowers on top, and a fan has been fitted to prevent condensation forming. Faster pastor's hearse power - BBC News, July 5th 2002.

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 15:05 | View blog reactions

May 4, 2002

Bargains of the Day: Gadgets For God

Ship of Fools: the Magazine of Christian Unrest is intentionally funny - a Christian site which gently satirises religious excess and silliness. The best bit by far is Gadgets For God - genuine examples of religious tat:

Struggling to find that perfect birthday gift for a loved one? Looking for something theological to impress the new minister? You'll carry on looking after reading the Ship of Fools consumer guide to tacky religious artefacts. Click the links below... and prepare for blessing!

They're fair. The "Clocks & Watches" section includes the Repent! Wristwatch produced by a Mormon company, the Last Supper Wall Clock ("similar to items seen on TV") and the Mosque Clock, a "Gadget for Allah" presented "in the interests of inter-faith dialogue". They missed my favourite bit of neopagan religious tat though: the Stonehenge Watch. I definitely want one of those! (Thanks to Omega for reminding me about this stuff in her posting to rec.arts.sf.fandom).

Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 14:17 | View blog reactions

April 14, 2002

Bargain of the Day: Catholic freebies

Ever wanted to Know Exactly What the Pope Is Saying and Thinking? Maybe a Profitable Catholic Home Business Opportunity is what you need? Well, as long as you are in the United States, you're in luck. All this, and many more catalogues, samples and more great free stuff for Catholics is available via Catholic Freebies. (via Holy Weblog!)

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 12:21 | View blog reactions

March 9, 2002

Bargains of the Day: What Would Jesus Eat?

Worried about ordinary, evil chewing gum? Bible Gum is for you!

The main ingredients of Bible Gum consist of little folded cartons, probably the smallest of its kind for any product, containing two tabs of chewing gum . Printed on the inside of the carton is a complete, referenced verse from the King James version of the Bible. When the carton is unfolded, the verse is revealed, for the privilege of the holder.

And just to make you feel really good, Bible Gum is meticulously packaged in a workshop for the disabled in Southern Missouri. But what if you have issues with the mess chewing gum leaves but still want some holy sweeties? What about Testamints? A

High quality line of Mints and Lollipops each embossed with a Cross and all of the packs printed with one of over 100 Scripture verse from the Old or New Testaments. Some verses in Espanol. A great Evangelism tool. Ideal for Churches, Religious Schools, Hospitals, Funeral Homes, Nursing Homes, Vacation Bible Schools, Religious Occasions.

This exciting product is distributed by Halo Enterprises, whose mission is to enhance the lives of people we meet by sharing spiritual refreshment while providing economic opportunity. But hang on, these mints must be evil and Satanic! Presumably the gum is okay, because you're not supposed to swallow it. You see, as St. Paul said in his first Epistle to the Corinthians:

Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwells in you? If any man defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.

And what this means is that the One True Christian Diet is... Breatharianism, plus your own urine. Jesus' Diet for your Sins.

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Posted by Feòrag in Religious Tat at 22:33 | Comments (2) | View blog reactions