Not wanting to step on the toes of What Not to Crochet, but there are some bizarre religious patterns out there. For example, there's this Venus of Willendorf doll. The same designer has also come up with a really impressive Kali and the Virgin Mary, which is an interesting threesome really.
Another Goddess can be found in the form of Blessed Elements' Goddess for all Seasons, and the patterns for decorating her for spring, summer, autumn and winter.
Those inclined towards East Asian traditions can make themselves a Maneki Neko. And we must not forget Cthulhu.
Not a toy, but really, just read the explanation of this pattern: Goddess Blessed Study Bookmark.
I'm not exactly sure what BioGenesis is, but it looks pretty. The website isn't exactly helpful, either.
BioGenesis is the Birth of Creation. We instill the remembrance of the Process of Creation into a glass, and that glass radiates, or re-educates, its environment with the memory of the Process of Creation. Restoring the memory of this Process within an individual or object creates a living system—it becomes living matter. While this ancient technology has not been on Earth since the days of Atlantis, Ascended Masters recently re-introduced this effective energy to the World....
BioGenesis creates harmony. Harmony is structured quite simply, quite effectively, by strengthening the inherent qualities of a region. And, this is accomplished by enlivening the sequence of Initial Rotations. This is BioGenesis.
The energy placed in the glass items is Genesis™ Energy, an energy which, although many millions of years old, has not been on Earth since the days of Atlantis. Ascended Masters have recently re-introduced this Energy to Earth.
The site includes full list of products, with brief descriptions of what they allegedly do.
The Flame of Genesis directs and focuses the Light of Genesis. It supports the healing of physical traumas, degenerative conditions and diseases, non-functioning organs and many more conditions.
And there is the obligatory piece of patriotic religious tat:
The Bell of Genesis is used to ring Victory over America, to protect America and to protect your home.
Today's bargain is not religious tat, and it's not even available yet. It's even something which, assuming it's supported, is likely to find its way onto the Prattle Towers iPod Touches.
Digital Jokers, a Spain-based developer of mobile games, has announced plans to bring a graphical adventure game based on H.P. Lovecraft’s legendary horror stories to the iPhone. “Call of Cthulhu: The Darkness Within"? is due for release sometime in September, according to the developer...
The game, billed as “the first graphic adventure for mobiles,"? is based on the award-winning role playing game published by Chaosium.
‘Call of Cthulhu’ game headed to iPhone—Macworld, 4th September 2008.
Red Wolf mailed me a most interesting link over the weekend, highlighting a pair of iPhone apps of interest to observant Jews with a food fetish.
iBlessing ... shows a plate filled with food--no traif, of course. Clicking on the meat, fruit, bread, wine, etc., brings up the blessing you should say over the item in question. The app has additionalbonus blessingsas well, for events like hand washing and the after meal grace.
The other application is of no use to vegan Jews whatsoever, being to do with the prohibition on eating meat and dairy together.
ParveOMeter, counts down the amount of time until you can eat dairy after meat and vice versa. The milk to meat setting is customisable depending on how kosher you are (zero minutes to an hour), but the meat to milk timer keeps ticking for six whole hours. The app keeps you on track too, since there is no easy way to manually stop the timer.
But there's others, that Gizmodo chose not to highlight! KosherMe is
... a beautiful Bentscher for your iPhone. It puts the Blessings ("Brachot") you should say before and after eating something (including Birkat Hamazon) right at your fingertips.
Additionally KosherMe contains a (growing) number of wonderful prayers and blessings, e.g. the Complete Bedtime Shma, Tfillat Haderech and other useful blessings.
Then there's Siddur:
Take your weekday siddur with you with this feature-packed Jewish prayer book. You'll get Ashkenaz, Sfrard and Sefarad Mizrachi versions of davening, including weekday Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv, standard Brachos and more. Real time Zmanim will give you the prayer times for each day based on your location determined with the iPhone's GPS. A Minyanim database will help you find nearest shul. A Luach or Jewish Calendar will aid you in your prayer services.
... and Tehilim, which is a mobile version of the Psalms. Just remember to not use any of these between sunset Friday and sunset Saturday.
iBlessing and ParveOMeter iPhone Apps Make You a Kosher Keeping Mensch—Gizmodo Australia, 18th August 2008.
Malta: Okay, so this product is not deliberately marketed at neopagans, but I bet they buy it:
Meridiana Wine Estate has launched its third white wine called Astarte, inspired by the Phoenician goddess of fertility worshipped in Malta during the Punic period. Astarte is based on the Vermentino grape, a Mediterranean wine grape variety which is ideal for Malta's climatic conditions.
New wine toasts fertility goddess—Times of Malta, 7th August 2008. See also Bargain of the Day: L'Chaim!, The Prattle, 18th October 2004.
Want to celebrate both your Jewish religious heritage and your Scottishness, both at once? Well, never fear, for Official Jewish Tartan is here.
The official Jewish Tartan is an authentic Scottish tartan created by Heritage Experts and Rabbis...
Initiated by Rabbi Mendel Jacobs (pictured above) - the only Scottish born Rabbi living in Scotland, it's 100% Kosher - being a non wool-linen mix, and as it incorporates many aspects of Scottish-Jewish cultural and religious history, it is the perfect representation of our heritage.
If your heritage
is based on mixing up religious and national identities merrily, that is.
In the tartan design we have blue and white the colours of both the Israeli and Scottish flags with the central gold line representing the gold from the Ark in the Biblical Tabernacle and the many ceremonial vessels. The silver is to represent the silver that adorns the Scroll of the Law and the colour red is for the traditional red Kiddush wine.
It seems there are a number of companies taking advantage of people gullible enough to buy tap water packaged in religious bottles:
Inspired, perhaps, by vitamin and energy waters, a number of new companies have begun making more explicit claims: their water doesn't just promote good health, it actually makes you good. Holy Drinking Water, produced by a California-based company called Wayne Enterprises, is blessed in the warehouse by an Anglican or Roman Catholic priest (after a thorough background check). Like a crucifix or a rosary, a bottle of Holy Drinking Water is a daily reminder to be kind to others, says Brian Germann, Wayne's CEO. Another company makes Liquid OM, superpurified bottled water containing vibrations that promote a positive outlook. Invented by Kenny Mazursky, a sound therapist in Chicago, the water purportedly possesses an energy field that Mazursky makes by striking a giant gong and Tibetan bowls in its vicinity. He says the good energy can be felt not just after you drink the water but before, when you're holding the bottle.
The most recent entry in this niche is Spiritual Water. It's purified municipal water, sold with 10 different Christian labels. The Virgin Mary bottle, for example, has the Hail Mary prayer printed on the back in English and Spanish. Spiritual Water helps people tostay focused, believe in yourself and believe in God,says Elicko Taieb, the Florida-based company's founder who was formerly in the pest-control business. All three companies give a portion of their profits to charity.
Bless This Bottled Water—Newsweek, 17th December 2007 (thanks, Novice Nun the Wiser OPI).
Tonight is the first night of Chanukah, so it's too late to buy any of this year's delightful items from JewishSource. Here are the Prattle's favourites, though.
Stunning crystal draydel has pewter accents and is etched with the four Hebrew letters traditionally used during the game of draydel. Unscrewing the draydels top reveals a dauber and a small cavity in which perfume can be stored.
Inflatable lawn display can be used indoors or out. Colorful menorah exclaims ''Happy Chanukkah'' to all who can see it.... Display is illuminated internally for nighttime light shows.I'm afraid this one looks like it's giving your neighbours the finger.
Celebrate Chanukkah with Mickey Mouse and his friends.
The chanukkiah depicts Mickey and Minnie playing the traditional draydel game.
Oh, lighten up! Okay, maybe it's a little over-the-top, but we think it adds to the fun of the holiday.
No, not Windows Vista, but Ubuntu Satanic Edition (Linux for the Damned
).
Ubuntu SE is not currently a distro, it's more a series of themes to transform the look of Ubuntu. You must first download and install one of the standard Ubuntu variants and then upgrade to Ubuntu SE. Don't worry; you can easily change your system back if you intend to recant...
Ubuntu Satanic Edition is available for both Ubuntu Edgy 6.10 and Feisty 7.04, including both Gnome (Ubuntu) and KDE (Kubuntu) variants. We suggest installing over Ubuntu Christian Edition, but the standard Ubuntu will do fine.
(via Happy Linux Thoughts, and the Bulldada Newsblog).
Today's bargain is only a little bit overpriced, being free:
In a very modern take on the age-old circulation of saintly bones and torn clothing, thousands of devotees of Pope John Paul II are going online to apply for certified shreds of his white cassocks as the late pontiff heads swiftly towards sainthood.
Supplied without charge, the circular dots of cotton, measuring about 4mm in diameter, come pressed into a postcard bearing a photo of John Paul on one side and a prayer on the other. They are available by clicking a link on the website of the diocese of Rome and filling in the email application.
The tiny dots of cloth have been available on request since the pope's death in 2005, but when a religious wires service published details on September 13 of the online offer, 5,000 applications promptly poured in, said Don Marco Fibbi, spokesman for the diocese.
Now available online: Pope John Paul II's robes—The Guardian, 24th September 2007.
France: The Baby Jesus has returned... as a cured meat product.
You know you want some.
Baby Jesus has returned… - oranchak.com, 26th June 2007 (via BoingBoing).
Many fetishists are perfectly at ease with their inclinations. Not for them the guilty secret life. They go to clubs, play with like-minded people and are generally happy with themselves. Others are less well adjusted, but rather than hide in a closet, they find bizarre excuses to try and justify their kink. For one group of perverts, their excuse is that their imaginary friend told them to do it and, as you might expect, there are online shops which provide for them, just like there are for the sane fetishist. This morning, Red Wolf messaged me about the knickers for sale at the Christian Domestic Discipline Store. For example:
Delicate Lady Crotchless Pantaloons
These split-crotch pantaloons trimmed in eyelet and your choice of ribbon color will make you feel sexy and cherished all at once.
They'd probably send your husband running to the nearest brothel, but I can see that the products might have some use. Historic costumers might like to note that the styles are pretty close to those worn in the corset era, and they are available with authentic drawstring. Regular corset wearers already know what these knickers are for really, but unfortunately, they only come in Demure White, Delicate Pink, Baby Blue, and similar crap colours. No Bondage Black, alas.
He's been dead for less than a day, and already eBay is flooded with Jerry Falwell related memorabilia. Much of it is just stuff like signed books, but some of it is interesting. Carat Queen was impressively quick off the mark in producing this Jerry Falwell Memorial tribute magnet
The wags were quick to respond to his demise too. For example, you can buy One Pound of Lard. Own a Portion of Jerry Falwell ! (Not his ubiquitous lard, but rather lard JUST LIKE HIS!
):
Up for auction is one pound of lard - exactly like the lard which composed Jerry Falwell. Place this tub of lard high on a shelf or on your mantle, should you need a tub of lard to look-up to. Place this lard on the back of a donkey or pig should you need a tub of lard to mindlessly follow.
The perfect keepsake with which to remember him.
Or how about a nice painting in his memory? Perhaps JERRY FALWELL IN HELL - acrylic painting! with Satan! fits the bill?
This is your chance to own what is probably the first contemporary art painting of religious-right extremist JERRY FALWELL to be done following his death earlier today (May 15th). This is also a very rare chance to purchase Jeffrey Scott Holland (me)'s primitive neo-expressionist artwork at such a low price on eBay, thanks to the good people at Superfrothco.
The painting isn't pictured here because I'm working on it right now, even as we speak.
It's acrylic on bristol and measures 8.5x11. It will portray Rev. Falwell arriving in Hell, surrounded by flames, and coming face to face with Satan, who's laughing hysterically, not unlike the way he often does in a Jack Chick comic.
I can't read Spanish, but I know for sure what's being spammed to me today. But is the Bible an illegal drug, pornography or pirate software, because we know that's all that spammers advertise. The first spam came in at 06.35 this morning. Just in case I didn't get the message, it was repeated at 08:24, 16:02, 17:53 and 21:30. A look at the spam shows that it offers lots of Catholic clip art too—so why send it to my antipope.org address?
Japan can be a little odd at times, as a recently announced game for the Nintendo DS shows. In ã?©ã??ã?©ã??é”女è£?判ï¼? you play a teenage boy who gets to detect witches by the time-honoured method of sexually harassing them.
But it seems that some people are trying to kick up more of a fuss about Matthew Hopkins Jr. and have resorted to faking screenshots to make it look more pornographic than it is [日本語. English language explanation here].
Feel safe at night with your very own Goddess Blessing Doll:
Soft bodied Goddess dolls are popular with modern fabric artists and come in all sorts of different forms.Goddess dolls are spiritually inspired by an idea, feeling or concept etc..
My Goddess dolls are shaped in a traditional Goddess form, to evoke her gentle, powerful and healing spiritual energies. They are unique in having a pocket incorporated into the design into which names, hair, herbs, affirmations, spells, crystals, prayers etc…can be placed, to allow her to be used in healing, magical or spiritual workings.
My dolls are intended to connect you to higher spiritual energies as you work with them and create a relationship with the mother Goddess.
I work with my Goddess Blessing doll by writing a wish or affermation on some paper, for example 'May peace prevail on the earth' and placing it within the pocket with a small crystal and a few apropriet herbs (wrapped securely in tissue for easy removal) I then take the doll and channel healing energies and/or chant the affermation as I hold her. If sending healing to someone, I will place their name in the pocket and use the doll as you would a poppet in sympathetic magic or Reiki/spiritual distance healing. There are many ways you can use the Doll, but they are designed to be used only with positive, healing and loving intent.
It seems that neopagans can speak Christian English, too.
Thank you spiritof1976 for introducing me to the LJ community dot_pagan_snark. Some highlights:
poured from optically pur acrylic, no caves had to die to let our Crystal Goddess Live!)
Vanity presses will famously publish anything, and their latest offering is Dining by the Stars by Maija Dambis Collins.
For each astrological sign, Collins interprets characteristics in five areas: personal habits; love and romance; the role in the family; circle of friends and colleagues; and seasonal celebrations. The chefs studied this information along with an established list of foods and condiments derived from ancient astrologers who analyzed specific influences for each zodiac sign. Original recipes were then created for each of the five areas listed above. The result: culturally diverse culinary masterpieces that are individually designed to appeal to specific astrological signs.
She must've relied on the stars, rather than Google, when she chose scammers over a respectable self-publishing outfit like Lulu)
Not that failing to rip-off hopeful authors is a guarantee against lunacy, of course.
The Wall Street Journal has an interesting article about special religious models of phones, and I have to say that I sympathise with the rabbi who requested a phone suitable for Ultra-Orthodox Jews:
Cellphone companies, at the time, had started to load their products with entertainment features, and the rabbi wanted none of it. He was in search of a phone without Internet capabilities or text messaging. He didn't want cameras, music downloading, or anything else that coulddistractthe pious. He was looking for a device that could make and receive calls. Period.
The article goes on to discuss Christian ringtones, and other tacky services aimed at Christians, then onto phones which include features useful to Muslims:
Dubai-based Ilkone Mobile Telecommunication in 2005 launched a phone in the Middle East with an internal compass that tells users the direction of Mecca, where Muslims face when they pray. Ilkone, which comes from the Arabic word for "universe," also equips its phones with a Hijri, the Gregorian calendar, and alerts users to prayer times with an alarm that features an actual muezzin's voice. It also has a complete version of the Quran, with an English translation.
Me, I want a phone which can be used anywhere in the world, is good at phoning and texting, with the ability to store lots of numbers, has no camera, no Microsoft and no other extraneous crap. Is this too much to ask? Oh yes, and a loop from which to hang Hello Kitty dangly things.
New Cellphone Services Put God on the Line—Wall Street Journal, March 26th 2006. (Thanks, Fluff the Plush Cthulhu)
I have this strange feeling that the vendor of today's bargain is not being entirely serious in their description of their wares, but the Miracle TV! Permanent TBN Phone Number Cures Ailments! does come with a video!
Up for sale here is 1 Miracle Television set guaranteed to cure any ailments and perform all miracles*. Operates without electricity, as seen above.
Miracles include but are not limited to:
Water to wine.
Parting of large bodies of water.
Produce manna from heaven.
Manifestation of fiery chariots.
Multiply loaves and fishes.
Kill Giants.
Walk on water.
Heal the sick and raise the dead.
Bring peace to all nations.
True story; We turned the TV off, but TBN's phone number remained! Is it a sign? YES. It is the 21st centuries' seraph! I had a vision. I must sell this TV set so that it may be released unto the World. For me to keep it would bring a curse upon my household.
Works great. Controller included.
*not responsible for any statements made nor the repercussions of said televisions actions
Today's bargain is a rather unique diary, in so far as something of which there are multiple copies can be unique. MY HANDWRITTEN JOURNAL: JESUS APPEARED TO ME & TOLD ME THE FUTURE, CANCER'S CURE, HEAVEN'S LOCATION & MORE contains interesting views on astronomy, immunology and international politics. It's also decorated with a load of pentagrams.
The winner of this auction will receive my handwritten journal where I have described the four messages of Jesus Christ who has appeared to me. Feel free to ask questions via eBay.
JESUS HAS SPOKEN AND MY JOURNAL IS THE DOCUMENTATION OF THIS WORLD EVENT. The most important message is Jesus' foretelling of the future. The future is up to us. We are on the brink of destruction. We must act quickly. Politicians must take notice! IF WORLD PEACE DOES NOT COME BEFORE 2021 HUMANS WILL BECOME EXTINCT.
Jesus revealed four specific things to me:
#1: The precise location of Heaven
#2. The cure for cancer
#3. The solution for the achievement of world peace.
#4. He revealed the future to me.
I will briefly discuss each of the four revelations now.
#1. THE PRECISE LOCATION OF HEAVEN: When we die we will become stars... Literally stars! Jesus Christ is our Earth's sun. That is why we are His... Because we come on one of His planets. When we die and become stars we, too, will be blessed by wonderful special planets which orbit us and bring us great happiness. God the Creator is also a star... The first and the greatest. Two thousand years ago Jesus saidI am the Light of the World.Jesus now wants us to understand that this means He is the Sun and that when we die, we will become stars too.
#2. THE CURE FOR CANCER: The cure for cancer is actually the knowledge of the precise CAUSE OF CANCER. We already know the cures for cancer, mainly prevention and early detection. Also chemotherapy, radiation, surgery and alternative medicine. We also are acutely aware of the roles of carcinogens, environment, heredity and diet. But what is the PRECISE AND SOLE CAUSE OF CANCER? CANCER OCCURS WHEN WE EAT OUR OWN FLESH. (Two very simple examples of eating our own flesh are biting our cuticles or biting our lips.) When a piece of our own flesh is digested, microscopic fragments of our own DNA enter the bloodstream. If a piece of this DNA enters a vulnerable cell, the nucleus of the cell identifies the 'food' as 'self' and this causes a 'circuit' to be blown in the nucleus. When (and if) that cell goes to divide, it does so in a haphazard fashion, dividing into four instead of into two and the mutation continues. There is an interesting correlation to Christianity here. Jesus told us totake His flesh and eat it.Now he wants us to know not to eat our own flesh in any way because it is deadly.
#3. THE SOLUTION FOR THE ACHIEVEMENT OF WORLD PEACE: This is so simple! According to Jesus, the way to achieve world peace is this: An AMERICAN president has to set a goal for WORLD PEACE BEFORE 2021. (President Kennedy did something similar when he set a goal for the USA to land a man on the moon in the 60's.)
#4. JESUS REVEALED TO FUTURE TO ME: The future will go one of two ways: If world peace is not achieved before 2021 the world will destroy itself. If world peace is achieved before 2021, there will be no more natural disasters. Notice that Jesus did not say that HE would destroy the world. Rather, we will destroy it ourselves with our greed and hatred.
Jesus appeared to me on March 17, 1984. He appeared to me in my dorm room at Holy Name Hospital School of Nursing in Teaneck, New Jersey. I was 28 years old at the time. He instructed me to try spread His solution for the achievement of world peace and to work towards it. He instructed me to try to tell people the precise location of Heaven. And he instructed me to try to share the cure for cancer. BUT He told me NOT TO TELL ANYONE He had appeared to me until after the dawn of the new millennium when I would receive a sign. The sign would be a huge natural disaster. For a brief while I thought the events of September 11, 2001 were the sign that I should come forth to tell people that Jesus had appeared to me. However, I knew that Jesus had said it would be a NATURAL DISASTER so I remained silent. Then the tsunamis of December 2004 hit. I have been trying to 'go public' since then.
I have decided to go with Ebay in an effort to spread the messages of Jesus.... The winner of this auction will be given my hand written journal which tells the story of Jesus' visit and the messages He revealed to me..
GOOD LUCK BIDDING AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU.
I am not claiming that this journal is the only one in existence. As of October 4, 2006, I have sold two journals. Each contains the same story, yet each one is unique.
Update: It seems the producer of these journals has a web site.
Sometimes I will encounter something of interest while browsing a totally unrelated site. Today was one of those days. How could I possibly expect that innocently reading Pharynugla's commentary on Gillian McKeith, could possibly lead to a Christ-centered, health education ministry offering wholeness of body, mind and spirit?
It all started with a comment by Zeno: You may have years of "unexpressed" meals in your digestive tract, but never fear! Vierra will give you a Christian colonic.
. My ears pricked up, naturally, and there was a link: Garbage in, garbage out!. And so, eventually, with the help of a well-known search engine, I found my man.
Welcome to Modern Manna online, the official website for Danny Vierra—founder of the Almighty Cleanse. We are a Christ-centered, health education ministry offering wholeness of body, mind and spirit. We offer a 10-day live-in program at BellaVita Lifestyle Center. We also offer the building blocks for excellent health, the latest information from articles, books, audios and DVDs for simple, alternative health remedies, which include lifestyle changes, vegetarian cooking, detoxifying and cleansing, juicing and more...
Optimal health starts with a seasonal cleanse. Almighty Cleanse™ is a powerful yet gentle 2-part system to help regulate and purify your digestive tract. This easy-to-use cleansing system helps expel impurities and fecal matter that build-up on your intestinal walls. One of the most concentrated natural purification systems available, Almighty Cleanse can work in only 7 days.
Yes, Almighty Cleanse. It's really called that. Once your digestive system has been dosed in this holy water, Modern Manna can help you keep it sparkly with herbal concoctions, including Anti-Plague Formula
.
The recipes look pretty good, though. There again, you can say that about Gillian McKeith.
Today's first bargain is particularly short on literacy, the description being written in a dialect of Christian English: Lot of 48 Angel worry prayer worship God faith stones. There's not much of a description beyond that. Once the auction is over, click the image below for a good look at the massive range of designs available.
But today is the day for religious job lots. You could stock up on 144 Christian Beads - Asst Styles [archived image], 48 wooden crosses, 24 Holy Bible keyrings [archived image], a Wholesale Lot Of (50) Cut Pennies - Angel Shape [archived image], 12 Beaded Cross Necklace Craft Kits [archived image], or even 144 God Rocks
Coins [archived image].
The Shivah from Wadjet Eye Games is not your normal graphical adventure game.
A rabbi of a small, declining congregation on the Lower East Side is close to losing faith in God when he is informed that a somewhat disreputable congregant has died and left his small estate to the synagogue. Is this a blessing or a curse?
This narrative serves as the unlikely background plot of a recent video game, "The Shiva: A Rabbinical Adventure of Mourning and Mystery," the first to feature a rabbi as its superhero.
Unlike a certain fundie Christian game, The Shivah is a peaceful affair, where you progress through talking, not fighting.
To start, Stone attends the congregant's shiva, the traditional Jewish mourning ritual; and, like a Talmudic scholar, he begins to question the widow. To help the players along, the game provides a Yiddish dictionary for words like "shiksa." In this game, words replace weapons. What moves the rabbi forward in his quest is a Talmudic line of questioning rather than the more typical fighting that often propels video games.
Questioning is the rabbi's power,said Gilbert. Talmudic tradition is often one of questioning and analysis, and typically a rabbi answers questions with more questions.
In one scene, the protagonist is attacked by a mugger with a knife. But violence won't help the rabbi win; the only way to keep him at bay is by asking him questions.
A rabbi as superhero - the wacky premise of a hit video game—Jerusalem Post, 4th January 2007.
Today's bargain is a golf ball, but it's no ordinary golf ball—it's a special HOLE IN ONE BALL - Pope Benedikt XVI
On 19 APRIL 2005 I have at hole 5 in my homeland club WENDELINUS GOLFPARK in SANKT WENDEL with this ball (Titleist 1) a HOLE IN ONE on my private round played. This course is only 116m long, one stands somewhat above the green and has a beautiful view of the offshore water hazard (see picture).
I experienced only later that at the Pope Benedikt XVI. (civil Joseph Alois Ratzinger) was selected on this day (19 APRIL 2005) to the successor by Johannes Paul II.
I still might mention that me in APRIL (at the 11th) Birthday has just like Joseph Alois Ratzinger who was born on APRIL 16th.
Spares a little crazy the whole!?
I am not strictly religious, but me whole history already to thinking brought.
The vendor is not a native English speaker, so for once I'm not going to take the piss out of the language.
Windows crashed yet again? Infected with another virus? Well, a forthcoming product demonstrated recently at the Washington, D.C. chapter of Dorkbot might help, and it should be cheaper than a Macintosh:
Gareth described it as
an electrified plushy that spits out nastygrams onto a computer screen whenever you stab it with a straight pin.
I suspect it'll be a rather popular device.
Voodoo Word—bookofjoe, 21st December 2006.
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is on the 23rd, so what better gift than this Rosh Hashanah Inlaid Wood Music Box?
Stately music box features an 18-movement mechanism that plays
Hava Nagila. Lid is decorated with a classical looking torah
Our Price : $125.00
In Stock: Yes
If you need some time to save up, no worries. You could always buy a Chanukkah Inlaid Wooden Music Box instead. This one has a picture of a dreidel on it and plays Maoz Tzur
.
Bargains have been thin on the ground lately, but today you can bid on a Rider-Waite tarot pack. What? Not weird enough for you? But these cards are special because it's a Tarot Card Deck From Dead Salem Mass Witch.
Possessed Or Bad Karma? We Will Let You Decide
Hello, And welcome to another auction brought to you by Power Mix Fm
After our listeners have heard that we were running some crazy ebay auctions we recieved a phone call from cindy in Salem Mass. and her phone conversation gave myself and the producers all chills up our spines, for that reason we are going to tell you her story and the reason why we are selling these cards for her.
It was 2 weeks befor Halloween when she stumbled upon a yard sale next to an old witch cemetary, she sensed that something on the table was eager for her to buy as she walked closer to the table a deck of Tarot cards fell onto of her foot the lady running the sale snickered in the background and approached her and asked if she needed help and out of the blue cindy said ill take these.
after the transaction the lady told her that these cards belonged to her daughter that was evolved in witch craft for 5 years but died by a freak accident in her apartment as cindy gulped and was just about to change her mind, her cell phone ringed and she had to leae fast.
Later that night cindy arrived home and tried to play with the cards but could not figure it out.
Night 1: about 2am cindy woke up to a loud scream of a female screaming for help and then as the girls tone got louder she could hear a man in a language that almost sounded german as cindy put it, She quickly went to the couch and slept there for the night.
Night 6: same time around 2am cindy heard the same as befor and once again slept on the couch,
and this would happen every 5 days, since then cindy has moved and had the tarot cards stored in a storage facility.
Untill today Power Mix FM has taken the cards for cindy and we are listing them here on ebay for hopes that someone in this world may know how to handle this type of deal.
Or maybe you are just a collector of ghostly objects and this would help with your collection.
Power Mix Fm has no way to verify this story besides what cindy has told us but we will keep the Deck of cards on the studio desk so during our 2AM dj sessions we will see if our DJ's experience the same scenario as cindy did.
All questions may take upto 24 hours to respond as we will forward them to cindy's home email address.
The Great Old Ones are not the only deities to have perfumes blended in Their honour. Take His Essence™ for example:
His Essence™ is a South Dakota company inspired by Psalm 45:8 -All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia...The Bible verse refers to the garments of the Messiah when He returns. We carefully combine these fragrances and the result is a scent, which serves as a reminder of His Presence.
Products include candles, hand lotions and music (which presumably doesn't smell of Jesus).
Fed up of all those happy flowery smells that the big perfume companies want you to smell of? Well, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab might have the perfect aroma for you in their A Picnic in Arkham range. Take this as an example:
CTHULHU
If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings... It represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence...
A creeping, wet, slithering scent, dripping with seaweed, oceanic plants and dark, unfathomable waters.
Sounds just the thing to wear with my Cthulhu scarf and Cthulhu hat!
Ubuntu Christian Edition is evidence that Linux has become spectacularly easy to use. I will mostly let it speak for itself:
Along with the standard Ubuntu applications, Ubuntu Christian Edition includes the best available Christian software. The latest release contains GnomeSword, a top of the line Bible study program for Linux based on the Sword Project. There are several modules installed with GnomeSword including Bibles, Commentaries, and Dictionaries.
Ubuntu Christian Edition also includes fully integrated web content parental controls powered by Dansguardian. A graphical tool to adjust the parental control settings has also been developed specifically for Ubuntu Christian Edition. These features are truly what sets Ubuntu Christian Edition apart.
I suppose at least it's one market that won't ever set permissions to 666, but what have the publishers done to protect the user from all those daemons running in the background?
Noel Black of Seattle newspaper The Stranger has discovered how to get free stuff out of Focus on the Family, thereby depriving them of money.
Few people know that Focus on the Family—the powerful evangelical Christian para-church based in Colorado Springs—will give you, absolutely free of charge, books, CDs, and DVDs. Usually people pay for these products, and the millions of dollars raised helps Focus on the Family produce yet more books and CDs featuring Dr. James Dobson and other Focus "experts." (Focus on the Family's experts, when they're not chatting on the phone with Karl Rove, run around the country teaching people how to stop being so gay and when it's appropriate to kick their kids' asses.)
Not only does ordering free stuff from Focus on the Family—sent to myself or people I don't like—satisfy a deeply juvenile impulse, it has the added benefit of taking money directly out of homo-hater Dobson's pocket. The one drawback is that getting free shit from Focus on the Family is a tad time consuming and a bit tricky, but it's well worth the effort.
Shopping Spree: How to Get Free Books, CDs, and Movies from Focus on the Family—Thereby Taking Money out of the Pockets of Anti-Gay Bigots—in 12 Easy Steps,—The Stranger, 17th August 2006. (via Yonmei)
Update: Alas, you are no longer able to give a zero donation (see A Voice of Sanity's comment below). Has anyone checked to see if $0.01 is acceptable, or what the minimum is?
Holy images on mundane objects are regularly featured on Bargain of the Day, including the infamous Virgin Mary toast, but today, we offer you the opportunity to experience the miracle for yourself with this miracle bread stamper - Press the stamper into an ordinary slice of bread, roast it, and behold a miracle!
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Okay, I admit it. I just bought one of these in Melbourne.
Bored with solitaire, well Curry K. Software have added a whole new dimension with their Scripture Solitaire.
Scripture Solitaire transforms the game of Solitaire into a word game that helps players become familiar with Bible verses. Instead of the normal card rank (King, Queen, etc.), each card has a short phrase. When the phrases are all put together in order, they form a verse.
But Scripture Solitaire does more than simply merging the Bible with a card game. In addition to entertaining and uplifting, it serves as a powerful aid to learning and memorizing scriptures. You'll also discover that Scripture Solitaire's unique game play is conducive to meditating deeply on the verse you are playing.
Available for the Macintosh and Windows for a mere $14.95, and a demo too, but surely a gateway to gambling?
Today's must-have bargains are more examples of over-active imaginations at work. First up is
JESUS FACE ON A LOG christian bible catholic religious. We are urged PLEASE HELP HIT THE PULSE " CLICK WATCH IT NOW"
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PLEASE CLICK ON YOUR WATCH IT NOW TO GET IT ON THE PULSE
This is the way i found it in the desert. This log is not touched painted or anthing like that i cant believe it. Its a weird story me and my kid were in the desert and i was talking to him about a problem we as a family were having, around a camp fire. And my kid said ask God. 10 second lateri was picking up a log with JESUS on it
Im not a very religious person, But my kid is. The prayer was answered and the log needs a new home. If your prayer is answered pass it on after.
PLEASE CLICK ON YOUR WATCH IT NOW TO GET IT ON THE PULSE
Bid a penny at a time. I promise this is real and not like some piece of toast with the big man grilled into it
It's the bit on the right of the picture, rather than the side that looks like the conventional representation of Jesus. Bidding is at $1.01 (US) right now, but there's another 9 days to go. A little more expensive are these Images Of Mother Mary & Christ. They are presumably not of interest to fundies, as this pair of masterpieces was apparently created 210,000,000 years ago.
Images Of Mother Mary and Christ in a 210 million year old rock. READ EVERTHING VERY CAREFULLY. 1) ONE OF A KIND. 2) IT IS ORGINAL) 3) ESTIMATED @ 210 MILLION YEARS OLD. 4) ONLY SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY PLEASE. 5)YOU WILL EXCEPT THE C.O.D. CONDITIONS, NO IF ANDS OR BUTS.) THIS IS ORIGINAL AND MADE BY MOTHER EARTH AND ALL SEE MOTHER MARY AND HER BACK SIDE OR MOTHER MARY AND HER SON JESUS CHRIST. I WISH THE BEST TO ALL BUT MOST OF ALL THE WORLD MUST SEE THIS. GOOD LUCK.
location found in Cerro Cuadrado, Patagonia, Argentina
Age: Jurassic (Approx. 210 Million Years Ago)
WILL CONSIDER A SERIUS BEST OFFER
I've turned the photograph through 90 degrees so you can easily see what miraculous object is worth the US $1,000,000.00 (US) Buy It Now price.
![[Harvey Sid Fisher sings about Aries]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/astrology-song.png)
Harvey Sid Fisher describes himself as an actor and screenwriter, but he has yet another talent - he has penned a set of twelve songs, one for each sign of the Zodiac, and you can buy them from his web site, either on a CD or a video. Or you could if his site was working properly--the links to buy the product don't work, and I cannot even tell you how much this wonderful item will be. How can you possibly live without hearing him sing his compositions, accompanied by a Kate Bush wannabe dancer gyrating in the background? How could be be so cruel as to make us miss such lyrical beauty as:
BUSY AS A BEE ON THE MOVE ALL THE TIME
CAN'T SIT BY THE FIRE I NEED MOUNTAINS TO CLIMB
I SET THE PACE AND I MUST WIN THE RACE
OUT IN FRONT OF THE REST CAUSE I AM THE BEST
SHOULD I LOSE THERE'S NO SHAME
I'LL FIND SOMEONE TO BLAME
Not to worry, someone has posted the video for Aries to YouTube.
United States: Just when we thought we'd either broken QuePirate or he'd had a run-in with authorities, we discover that he just doesn't love us any more. He does, however, still have quite the thing for eBay.
This time he does appear to be offering a real item, usually it's something that only QuePirate can see.
Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Mind Control Brain Washing Made Easy for Dummies"
Whollylove isn't your normal sex shop selling cheesy lingerie, love beads and vibrators. No, it's a Christian sex shop selling cheesy lingerie, love beads and vibrators, aka Products and Advice celebrating God's fantastic gift of sex within Christian marriage
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Sex is a great gift from God — we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse! All our products and images on this site are selected on two criteria: sex in marriage is based on wholly love (so we have not selected hurtful products), and the Biblical portrait of marital sex as a reflection of God's holy love for us (so we have avoided inappropriate images wherever possible).
(Thanks, tjc).
The Virgin Mary seems to have a bit of a fetish about stones, and today's bargain is the third such item we have featured. This time, the auction is for The VIRGIN MARY Stone!!, as the vendor seems unaware that the object is not unique.
A silvery blue stone bares the image of the Virgin Mary
This natural wander miraculously bares the image of the Virgin Mary and her beautiful shrowd. The stone is a silvery blue and white (A true eye catcher). See picture.
A finish has been applied to protect the natural beauty of this wonderful stone. The stone measures approximately 9" tall by 7" wide 3"thick and weighs 12 pounds. Silver colored stand included.
Thank you for looking.
Note the use of that interesting dialect known as Christian English. Previous similar bargains included a lump of rock and a pebble.
Today's very special offer is allegedly an Apple Guardian Angel Is It A Miracle, A Sign From God?
Yesterday I was eating a red delicious apple thinking that all is right in my world when I saw that a small piece of the peeling had dropped from the apple. When I picked it up, I noticed that the shape was a remarkable likeness to what I have always imagined a guardian angel to look like. I could not bring myself to put it in the trash thinking that there must be a reason that it appeared to me like this. Some sort of sign? I am wondering about the significance of the apple (considering what happened with Eve in the garden). I don't know as much about religion and miracles as most people know. But, I do know that right now my life is going pretty well. I am very fortunate to not have any real complaints and do not feel in need of a miracle or divine intervention. So I am thinking that maybe I am simply being used as a messenger and that there may be someone out there who might want this
apple angelfor their own. It is a smallangelas you can see in the picture as compared to a penny. I am willing to pass it on if someone out there wants it. I taped it to a piece of paper using scotch tape. I have not done anything else to preserve it.
![[Santa Cthulhu]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/santa-cthulhu.jpg)
Not so much a Bargain, as a hint as to what I'd like to see in my stocking in four days from now: a Mini Santa Cthulhu Plush (scroll down). In fact, practically everything on this page will do, except the first six items, the hand puppet, and Cthulhu the King, all of which I have. Perhaps not the hat either, because I think my own design is better (and I know it is definitely warmer and looks less like something worn by neds from Bathgate). The Miskatonic University Graduate Cthulhu Plush is particularly appealing. I wish that had been available way back in the mesolithic, when I finished university.
Okay, maybe four days is a bit soon. I can wait till Hogmanay.
Today's bargain is a totally unique Cthulhu Dildo Cthozy (He'll make you shout IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!!
):
Yes, from the deranged mind (I prefer the term "Mad Genius") that brought you the Flying Spaghetti Monster Dildo Cozy, comes a new evil. A new evil who will keep your tentacle warm while he waits for the stars to align.
100% acrylic, the Great Old One is suitable for those with wool allergies, and is technically washable, if relatively fragile. Putting him in a pillowcase, although it's an insult to the Elder Gods, might be appropriate.
This is a one-of-a-kind art piece, so I will not be making more. Get it now, or you'll have to wait until he comes to eat and enslave us for a second chance.
IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!!
So, you know that Christmas isn't even slightly Christian, but those twee fluffy bunny Pagans have no idea how to have a good time. May we at Prattle Towers recommend A Very Scary Solstice—the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society Solstice carol album and songbook.
We returned to the studio with a bigger-than-ever cast of actors and professional singers. Thrill to the magnificent sounds of the Dagon Tabernacle Choir. Marvel at the exsquisite harmonies of the Arkham Carolers. Tap your tentacles along with the Dunwich Children's Chorale. All twenty-five numbers are professionally produced and recorded with the same maniacal care that made A Shoggoth on the Roof such a disturbing achievement in musical theatre. From beatific choirs to maniacal mariachis, there's something for everyone in this first-ever CD of Lovecraftian Solstice Carols.
You too could wander the street of your town entertaining people with such delights as Great Old Ones Are Coming To Town, Have Yourself a Scary Little Solstice, Oh Come All Ye Olde Ones, Silent Night, Blasphemous Night and Away In A Madhouse. Free samples, including MP3s and sheet music available to whet your appetite, and that of the Great Cthulhu.
Recently, at a convention, I was handed an intriguing item. It was a small plastic baggie containing one of those affinity bands, in black. It was an Original Cthulhu Fhtagn Wristband.
It all started when I was on the Tube, and found myself thinkingThere are all these wristbands available to raise awareness of various worthy and important causes. So why has nobody produced wristbands to raise awareness of the inevitable return of the Great Old Ones?After all, the inevitable demise of humanity amid the brain-melting horror of an awoken Cthulhu is something it's probably worth being aware of.
But people need go unaware no longer! You too can show yourawarenessof the inevitable doom that awaits us all with your very own rubberyCthulhu Fhtagnwristband, available at very reasonable prices (plus a portion of your immortal soul, naturally. Call it a subscription model.)
And it even comes with a money back guarantee!
In the event of your wristband aligning the stars, bringing about the return of the Great Old Ones and thus causing the destruction of all humanity by screaming horrors from beyond the stars and/or the depths of the seas, you will receive a full refund.
![[Black Virgin of Montserrat in a gothic surround]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/capella.jpg)
While on his holidays, Pastor Best went to visit a Black Madonna, Our Lady of Montserrat, near Barcelona, and brought me back a most delightful present. Described as a “capella gothica”, which I suspect means “gothic chapel”, this icon is made of finest gold (plastic) and silver (plastic) and stands about 20cm high. The figure of the Virgin and child appears to have been blackwashed to bring out the details. The doors open and close, and feel only slightly stiff and likely to break when breathed upon — it survived Ryanair's baggage handlers, so it can't be that fragile. The good Pastor says that it is nothing compared to the tat you can buy at Lourdes. Do any low-cost airlines go there? [Note: clicking on the thumbnail will take you to a very large and detailed photo of this delightful and charming object.]
Tired of getting your exercise by hopping along to incomprehensible J-Pop? Well Digital Praise has the answer!
Digital Praise takes the [Dance Dance Revolution] concept to Christian families with Dance Praise, which combines contemporary Christian dance music like Audio Adrenaline, DJ Maj, Steven Curtis Chapman, ZOEGirl and others — more than 50 songs, all together — with four gaming modes.
It's available for both Macs and PCs. Be warned, though—Digital Praise's web site is such a Flash abomination, that I suspect that it's all a Satanic plot or something.
Christian-themed DDR-style game released—Macworld News, 26th October 2005.
It's kind of surprising what you find sharing a domain with something more interesting, but I suppose you have to pay the rent somehow and why not do so by exploiting the gullible? And so we find this delightful Cross and Serenity Prayer Fountain at Edifying Spectacle:
A soothing and spiritual desk fountain, offering a stone-look plaque with a carved cross on one side, and the Serenity Prayer on the other. River stones included. Uses 2 AA batteries, not included. Alabaster. 7 1/4" diameter x 9" high.
Let us hope the potential customers for this, or any other item from the vast range of religious tat, have the brains to check out what you get if you remove all the stuff after the domain name!
France: The perfect accessory for the well-heeled neopagan is on the market. The Dolmen de Bagneux is located close to the town of Saumur in the heart of the Loire Valley.
The famous Dolmen in Bagneux is probably one of the most majestic French dolmens and the largest of the 4,500 dolmens spread out on about 60 French departments.
The overall length of this dolmen is over 23 meters (75 feet) and its chamber is over 18 meters (60 feet) long. As all dolmens, the 'Great Covered stone" in Bagneux, was a large chamber tomb which must have contained a great number of prehistoric skeletons during the neolithic age, i.e.from 4,000 to 2,000 B.C., that is about 5,000 years ago.
In addition to the domen itself, the sale includes a commercial building currently used as a brewery and restaurant, and two flats.
Today's bargain is a set of pictures of an accidental spill made by a child under the influence of a strong, but legal, drug. Or rather, it's a JESUS COFFEE SPILL ANGEL HOLY SPIRIT - set of 4 photos. Unlike other vendors of similar simulacra, the seller here does not make any particularly ludicrous claims and seems to regard it all as a happy accident, rather than an actual work of their imaginary friend.
These are photos of a coffee spill that appears to be in the image of JESUS, an angel, or perhaps an apostle, with arms lifted toward heaven. Tongues of fire or maybe the Holy Spirit are drifting upward.
Every morning my 6 year old daughter just has to have her cup ofcoffee. So my wife mixes her about a half cup of milk, some Carnation french vanilla creamer, and a splash of coffee. Needless to say, my daughter is not always neat and is quite often spinning her chair around to see Spongebob. Today, about a half hour after she finished, my 10 year old son hurried us into the kitchen to show usJESUS. We were surprised he even noticed it, since the image actually formed upside down - my daughter was sitting at the breakfast bar, facing it. I took the photos from both in front of, and behind the counter. The second picture shows the view from the direction she was facing.
I am being 100 percent honest when I say that this is not a hoax, and that these photos have not been staged or doctored in any way. This is an actual coffee (albeit with lots of milk and creamer!) spill that occurred by happenstance, while my daughter was having her morning cup of java - we even had to wipe some off of her chair (you can see where it dripped over the edge of the counter). I am also being 100 percent honest when I say, that while we are devout Christians, we don't necessarily believe that such things occur by divine intervention or have any specific spiritual meaning, I know that some folks do. That's why I'm offering this set of 4 photos for sale. They will be printed on 4 inch by 6 inch, premium glossy photo paper. There will be one set of these and one set only. That's my solemn promise to the winning bidder.
Today we have yet another 'holy miracle' which leads one to assume that the Christian god is a little bit banal and unambitious as deities go. And notice the attempt by the person blessed with such a holy item to mislead people searching for entertainment: Holy Miracle! Mary & Jesus on Spoon! Not iPod, Psp,Xbox. No doubt the tall tale attached to the object for sale is as genuine and honest as the auction title itself.
I cant believe it. I've been trying to wash this stain off of my spoon for months! I have scrubbed it with a scrubbing pad and put it into the dishwasher countless times. I finally looked at it up-close.......It is a modern day miracle! Amazingly it never washed off! Look for yourself! This is astonishing! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is the true image of the Blessed Virgin Mary......I cant stop looking at it....My friends have been taking pictures of themselves with the spoon. They are as amazed as I am......AND....I know that no one will believe this, but last week I carried the spoon with me....I just put it in my pocket. I then went for a walk with my dog. (He has a very strong leash) Well he bites through the leash and runs directly in front of the traffic of cars passing by.(4 lanes!) Every car stopped.............I know deep in my heart that Mary and Jesus were looking out for me and my best friend...I didnt really think about it until I returned home and pulled it out of my pocket! Jesus was there with me! Now I have the spoon on display for my friends and family to see.....The problem is people I dont know have been calling me to come see the spoon. I dont wanna be the guy that has the spoon that everybody wants to look at...I have a normal job and I would like to keep it that way. This spoon needs to be in a museum, church, or maybe the Vatican for all I know. So here it is. It is the real thing. This kind of thing does not happen everyday. The spoons dimensions are 20cm x 4cm. The bottom of the spoon says IKEA. The pic with the guy holding the spoon and the five dollar bill is Mr.M.Gonzales. He offered me five dollars for the miracle spoon. Thats a pretty good price.But then I thought to put it on eBay. Everyone in the world will have an opportunity to bid on the Blessed Virgin Mary Spoon. The pic of the guy with the tie is Dr.Vaughn. He was truly amazed and wanted his photo taken with The Virgin Mary. The pic of the nice young man with longer hair was the pizza delivery guy. (I think his name was Burt.) He wanted the spoon instead of the tip! The pic with the young woman is a famous personalty. We will call her "Molly" for now.(I can not give up the identification of the famous person in this photo)...She stared at the spoon for a while and said that she saw some flashes of light come from it. The last image is a pic of a Virgin Mary painting...She is beautiful in this painting and I think that the spoon is of uncanny resemblance....................................................Up for auction today is the only Blessed Virgin Mary Spoon that you will ever see in you entire life! Go ahead and bid on the spoon! It will most likely change the Spirit of you and the people around you!(Only the spoon is for sale). Thank you and have a wonderful day!
It would also be unkind of me to suggest a certain similarity between this image and the Velvet Vulva featured a few days ago.
Today's bargain is a fine example of Neopagan tat. The Velvet Vulva™ is A line of fine purses and magickal bags
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More than a sumptuous Renaissance bag, the Velvet Vulva represents in three-dimensional form the sacred portal to the feminine temple. Each has sumptuous fabric labia and a beautiful button clitoris.
A Velvet Vulva might become your everyday bag; it might always stay on your altar; or it might be acquired for special occasions. (One of the first Vulvas I made was part of the bridal trousseau of a close friend of mine.) Naturally, what you put in your Velvet Vulva can have tremendous symbolic and magickal significance.
The creation pictured at right is a full length medicine bag, intended for ritual and ceremony, as well as everyday use as a purse.
In whatever way the Velvet Vulva is respectfully employed, it will express and honor the Goddess within and without.
As in life, Velvet Vulvas come in various sizes, shapes, and styles. "You will know when you have found a good fit!"
Hats and pillows based on the same design are also available.
Red Wolf points out an auction which will be of great interest to those who found the Prattle by searching for harry potter porno, harry potter vampires and harry potter porn. Or perhaps not, as it doesn't feature anything vague pornographic or have anything to do with the undead.
But, the auction itself is full of spoilers for the sixth book, so if you intend to read it, do not read any further!
Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Dead fictional character on toast"United States: This isn't the first time the Prattle has featured a vampire killing kit, but the last one had more of an historial significance, was auctioned by Sotheby's rather than someone in desperate need of a clue about the misuse of the caps lock key and didn't appear to have been assembled by someone who watches way too many Hammer horror films.
Enjoy it in all it's eye-searing glory:
Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: 21st Century Vampire Killing Kit"The modern vampire has been influenced by goths and is a bit more fussy. You can't use just any only sharp, pointy bit of wood to get rid of them these days, you need UNIQUE ONE OF A KIND 1 DOZEN VAMPIRE STAKES:
WHAT MAKES MY STAKES SO DIFFERNT? EACH ONE IS HANDCRAFTED BY ME AND PAINTED BLACK FOR PROTECTION FOR YOU. THEY EACH HAVE ALSO BEEN ANOINTED WITH SPECIAL ESSENTIAL OILS USED FOR EXTRA PROTECTION FOR YOU. I HAVE ALSO DONE A PROTECTION RITUAL OVER THEM FOR YOU. NOT FOR KIDS THEY ARE VERY SHARP. THEY ARE 10 INCHES LONG AND COME 12 TO A BOX.Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: a dozen sticks"
Staking a vampire in the heart with a wooden stake is the most popular way of destroying vampires. This method of killing a vampire has been around for literally hundreds of years. The stake must penetrate the vampire's heart to destroy it. In medieval times the stake was also used as prevention of vampires. Deceased individual who were thought to have a higher risk of becoming a vampire were staked in their coffins so that the stake would pin them to the ground.
SORRY PICTURES BAD I HAVE A CHEAP WEBCAM THAT SUCKS.
KEEP MY AUCTION ON WATCH PLEASE. ID REALLY LIKE TO MAKE IT ON EBAY PULSE AND I NEED THE HELP OF THE KIND HEARTED EBAY MEMBERS. IF YOU WANT ME TO WATCH YOUR AUCTION JUST MAIL IT TO ME AND I WILL IN RETURN.
I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU USE THEM FOR AFTER THEY ARRIVE AT YOUR HOME. USE COMMON SENSE AND HAPPY HUNTING
At first glance, this Virgin Mary Image on A Stone Carved by Nature, Found on the Beach does bear a resemblance to the Virgin Mary, but look more closely - in particular at the area the vendor thinks is her arm:
Three years ago I was walking along a beach in Michigan, enjoying the beautiful sunny day wrought by God's handiwork. I stepped on a stone and bent down to rub my foot when I noticed this stone was very polished and smooth. When I picked up the stone I was stunned to see that the image of our Virgin Mother was staring at me! I have kept this stone with me, showing it to friends and relatives. The image is on a raised stone upon stone. Someone noted that it may be a fossil on top of the stone. The difference with this Mary is that she appears to have a hand over her eyes, as she herself cannot face the horrors of humankind. As I hold it, I feel such a sense of security and serenity. It has been my treasure and I am now offering it to pass along the solace it has given me.
Now, if that's an arm, then the BVM has two elbows. I see two possibilities - one is that she suffered from elephantosis, the other being that it isn't the Virgin after all, but some pagan goddess, and that's a whopping great dildo she's got there!
Bad karma is a terrible thing, but you can absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions by investing just $7(US) in a bottle of Karma Guard:
Karma Guard will cleanse your soul and clear the air with a single spray. It contains purified water and wild Ginseng root, the same Ginseng that has been used by spiritual masters for over 2000 years for its spiritually enhancing qualities, one of which hastens theburning upor cleansing of Karma. Throw it in your purse, keep it on your desk, stick in your beach bag or workout bag, or right there on your nightstand — anywhere that bad Karma can strike.
Or you can buy it on eBay (for a bargain $29.99), and get a much more exciting description:
What is it? It’s a spray, it’s a shield, it’s a badge of awareness … it’s KARMA GUARD! Just when you thought it was safe to trash, bad mouth and dis, comes the antidote for any evil thought you may have. As you feel those nasty words leaving yours or someone else’s lips, whip out the bottle with the shield and remember: Just one spray keeps the bad Karma away. Karma Guard will cleanse your soul and clear the air. It contains purified water and wild Ginseng root; the same Ginseng that has been used by spiritual masters for over 2000 years for it’s spiritually enhancing qualities, one of which hastens theburning upor cleansing of Karma. So as the light scented mist of Karma Guard sprays across your face, it makes you stop and think …whoa, that was bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!Let the contents within this hallowed bottle put your smile back on and remind you of whatgoodfeels like. Throw it in your purse, keep it on your desk, stick in your beach bag or workout bag, or right there on your nightstand — anywhere that bad Karma can strike. Karma Guard was first conceived of 20 years ago by two hit songwriters, Andy Goldmark and Bruce Roberts, responsible for mega- records by Jessica Simpson, Cher, N’Sync, Celine Dion, Elton John, Barbra Streisand to name a few. They realized that thriving in the treacherous waters of the music business necessitated some kind of protection for one’s soul in order to survive with anything resembling a conscience, much less a shred of decency. What started out as a running joke between them, soon evolved into a tool of awareness. Even though the Karma Guard bottle and design would not spring into being until now, the concept was alive and well particularly when they or anyone around them acted with a severe lack of ethics, morals or the slightest regard for anything that was obnoxious. Just verbalizing the need for Karma Guard in any given situation was enough to summon it’s power and invoke a Karmic righting of wrong, if only imagined at the moment. It took a little time but these two guys realized that being as civilization was going to hell in a go-cart, they might as well try to save it or at least create a thought provoking detour… AND NOW-- Here it is - the ultimate road tested remedy for the Universe’s biggest, baddest boomerang - - out in time to keep you somewhat honest, partially decent but definitely mo’ better than you were before. So remember, be good to your Karma and it will be good to you. And a little spray along the way won’t hurt either… Karma Guard! You say they don't carry it on the Wal-Mart near you? Hard to believe; but this IS your lucky day! For the first time ever on eBay-- and straight from the the creators themselves-- the Ari Bhod auction for the preservation of Tibetan cultural heritage is making this available in any town in the world where Wal-Mart or Target hasn't stocked it yet. And whether you're Dick Cheney or a high lama we're starting it a price someone with PERFECT karma or less than perfect karma can afford. And no reserve. PAYMENT: PayPal or money order
Today's extra special offering on eBay is one of those old-fashioned, electricity hungry lightbulbs, though large utility bills won't be a problem, as it looks as if it doesn't work. But, you can't get much (any?) cash for an old lightbulb, so what's for sale is marketed as a Religious Icon Light Bulb One-Of-A-Kind True Miracle! The vendor admits that they have no idea what the miracle depicts, but those with spiritual eyesight will know. It's Said to have likeness of Jesus, Virgin Mary, or Angel
.
This auction is for a one-of-a-kind, never ever intentionally created light bulb. It was FOUND in the wilderness rock hunting in Wyoming in the Big Horn Mountains about 8 years ago. It is truely a miracle. Like the grilled cheese sandwich, or the pretzel this has a likeness of what has said to be by friends and family members to be Jesus Christ, The Virgin Mary, or an Angel. This light bulb, unlike that sandwich or the pretzel is a solid piece of material that won't decay. I have been too afraid to put it into a lamp with power. Therefore I do not know if it will turn on, and I am not going to try. This is too miraculous for anyone to believe. I cannot believe I found it. Also, there is a slight crack across the top of the head, that looks like a halo. You can barely see it, but if you look close enough you will find it. This light bulb is truely miraculous. Anyone who believes in God or any religion knows the value of this bulb. So please bid with full intention to pay the item price. This is not a joke at all. It is a real light bulb with a real likeness that was probably caused by the sun hitting it. I am not totally sure what caused it, but this likeness is PURE WHITE.
Bidding starts at a mere $999.99 (US).
A rather remarkable item has appeared on eBay today: OWN GOD'S REAL HAIR! Depicted is a lock of brown hair, tied with a white ribbon, and a remarkable claim.
You Heard it Right! You too can own a piece of Salvation, a little light in the darkness, or perhaps the ultimate Status Symbol. Forget the intangible, amaze your study groups.
Buy a Lock OF God's Hair RIGHT NOW!
You know, I expected it to be grey or white.
Today's bargain is, well, mingin'. It's apparently an INVITATION TO ABUNDANT LIFE, a TABLET GROWN FROM RECIPE IN BIBLE,Fountain of youth
. The information on the eBay auction is rather sketchy:
MORE INFO: www.whothirst.com until now this is something money can"t BUY
PAYMENT ORGANISED THROUGH email Bank Direct whothirst@bigpond.com or PAY/PALS
Let Your SOUL DELIGHT Itself in ABUNDANCE
But fortunately, the linked website is much more informative. For bizarre religious values of informative.
SAINT ANTHONY'S
NEW TREASURE ABUNDANCE
Made from Seven Years Working On Understanding
ISAIAH 55
AN INVITATION TO ABUNDANT
LIFE
ABUNDANCE: Is made with all natural ingredients:
USING: Flowers, Shrubs and Trees
CRYSTALGENICS: Is the art of turning liquid into crystals.
Sought after by Alchemists since the beginning of time.
ABUNDANCE: Grows from liquid, which I callThe Waters Of Life
NOTE: When Abundance is dissolved in water, it regrows and multiplies in approximately 4 to 5 days based on 1 to 2ml of water
INTERESTING FACTS: Things found written about recipe while working on recipe.
ISAIAH 55:1 REVELATION 21:6 REVELATION:22:17
available for sale from July 1st, 2005
So, about as clear as one of QuePirate's comments then.
The Prattle is about 16½ years old now, and in that time it has come to my attention that there are one or two Christian extremists out there who are, well, a little bit violent. This bargain will disappoint them - there's no way it can be used for its original purpose. Today's offering is a DIVINE FIND - SHOTGUN SHELL TURNS INTO POPE'S HAT?!? which was MYSTERIOUSLY FOUND IN PRAIRIE WITH NO TRACES OF FIRE...
. Which is good, because the rest of the description implies that there is a class of Darwin-bait that throws ammunition into bonfires:
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own the divine treasure emblazened in a fire, molding itself into the shape of the Pope's hat. How the shell did not burn up entirely is a mystery that will probably never be solved, but the shocking result is a sight to behold. The shell was found after the christening of the new Pope, but it is believed to have been molded into its present form sometime before or at the time of the former Pope's death. Could this shell have been burning into its undeniable shape as the Pope died? Draw your own conclusions as to the meaning of this strangely divine occurrence, but bid now or forever hold your peace. The only reason this one-of-a-kind miracle is being sold is the feeling that it truly belongs to another person, but who is the true owner?
Item is guaranteed 100% authentic. Seller acknowledges that no human was involved in the forming of the item into its present shape. It is believed that the item has been formed as a direct result of divine intervention.
Today we have two bargains to tempt you. First up is a Virgin Mary Image on Toast - Found in Arizona Office:
This is a piece of bread, toasted in an office break room, that has an image resembling the Virgin Mother Mary. I looked at it for several minutes and showed it to others in the office and we all agree that it is definitely the Virgin Mary.
We immediately photographed this toast and then put it in an air-tight plastic container to keep it in good condition.
The picture says it all. The Holy Mother Mary is respected by many people and is a religious icon to a majority of the world.
Please only bid on this with good intent. I accept Paypal, money orders, and personal checks. Must send payment within 72 hours of auction end. Thank you and God bless.
And if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, we also found this Jesus inside a Seashell, which will no doubt be of particular interest to Methodists:
The world is a gift given to us by God, and we are shown a little taste of heaven itself from time to time we just have to be willing to look beyond what our eyes see and look with out heart. Along with the treasures of life I believe that God leaves little signs or clues that He is still alive and knows what’s going on in our lives. Going up for auction on eBay a small wooden curio cabinet approximately 7" x 10" x 2" filled with various types of beans and a simple sea shell in the middle. Look closely and you can see one of God’s little signs, the image of His Son meekly looking down in the middle of a sea shell made by God’s own hand. You never know this could be a sign that God is around and always with us or just the something that someone needs as a little pick me up! Wouldn’t you like to have one of God’s little signs that we are here for a reason and that he is always going be with us no matter what the circumstances?
Please note this item is not grilled cheese, it won’t rot, decompose or shrivel up and wither away; it is an actual sea shell you will be able to cherish forever just as God’s love for us is everlasting.
Jesus decided to get closer to the heart of the the vendor of this Jesus Christ's Image on Mammogram. (Religious). Naturally, she felt the most respectful thing she could do with the One and Only... ORIGINAL FILM!
of this moving event was to sell it on eBay.
Jesus Christ's image is clearly visible on this mammogram. I went in for a regular mammogram screening where several x-rays were taken. The doctor thought he had seen something unusual and called me back one week later.
On this second visit, only one image was taken of the area of concern. As soon as the film showed up on the screen, the image of Jesus Christ was clearly visible. The technician and I were astonished and immediately felt a pleasant presence.
Needless to say, I was blessed to find that all was well and I am in good health.
Additional information: Mammogram impression is: 4"x4". (JC image within.)
How about a nice, shiny, glittery moon for the bedroom? Not convinced? Well, this is no ordinary bit of New Age tat, it's a MAKE A WISH AND DREAMS COME TRUE WAND!
MAKE A WISH ON THIS WAND AND DREAMS DO COME TRUE!
I BOUGHT THIS MAGICAL WAND A FEW YEARS AGO AT A PHYSIC FAIR, AND IT HAS BROUGHT ME AND OTHERS, NOTHING BUT GOOD LUCK!
I AM VERY SERIOUS, THIS WAND WAS NOT BOUGHT AS A GOOD LUCK WAND, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING VERY MAGICAL THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE A WISH, OR SAY A PRAYER, AND HOLD ONTO THIS SPARKLE HALF MOON ON A STICK~
SOME SAY THEY SEE RELIGIOUS FIGURES IN THIS?
DOESNT MATTER HOW YOU HOLD THIS, IT IS SMILING FRONT AND BACK, LET IT SMILE FOR YOU, AS IT DID FOR ME~
As the vendor is obviously in need of the cash, the wand not having granted that particular wish, only the gullible are allowed to bid:
IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN WISHES AND DREAMS DO NOT BID..YOU MUST BELIEVE~
The Turin Shroud? Pah! That's nothing compared to this amazing Australian Sheet with imprint of virgin mary / christ, and you can't buy the shroud on eBay!
Bed sheet was donated to the salvation army store in St Kilda australia along with clothes shopper and staff whitnessed the clean bed sheet the all of a sudden the imprint of Jesus christ / virgin mary appeared.As seen on Channel seven news , a current affair channel 9 , international news and Uk news press.
The vendor isn't sure who the image is of, but the beardiness and hat suggests Che Guevara reading a newspaper to me. There again, that wimple and veil with the beard means it's probably a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, so the message this sheet bears is Here's a condom. Have fun with it.
The Virgin Mary has, rather appropriately, appeared in the form of unfertilised eggs, and is for sale on eBay as Virgin Mary Mayonnaise Jar Mayo Christ Guadalupe IT'S A MIRACLE! Virgin Mary appears in Mayo Jar
:
You have seen her in a tunnel in Chicago. You have seen her on soiled bedsheets in Mexico. You have seen her on a grilled cheese sandwhich. You have seen her just about everywhere. But you have NEVER seen her in a mayonnaise jar. Here for the first time EVER, the Lady of Guadalupe makes an appearance in a jar of mayonnaise. The one identifying aspect of this true miracle is that the street name where the miracle happened is
Guadalupe Avenue.No, this is not a joke, this is for real.
Look at the picture, and see it for yourself. A true miracle has taken place right before the making of a ham and cheese.
US CUSTOMERS ONLY (And MAYBE Mexico). Winner pays $4.95 PRIOIRTY shipping and handling with DELIVERY CONFIRMATION #. PAYPAL ONLY. We do not accept pesos.
The vendor does not explain why the Virgin has a beard.
Sometimes it is not the item itself which transforms something into religious tat, but the marketing. Take this perfectly innocent quaich, made by a well-known British manufacturer of pseudo-Celtic nonsense, and sold in tourist shops all over Edinburgh. You see, according to vendor shadownmyst, this is not a commercially-produced version of a traditional Scottish loving cup but a Black High Magic Chalice:
This beautiful chalice is a magical item to be used only in Black High Magick. One should expect to pay well to hold such power in mere mortal hands. This is not an item to be used by novices in the black arts! The chalice is a beautiful, polished pewter cast and purchased through St. Justin's in the United Kingdom.
Todays bargain is a very special lump of tree - it's a Virgin Mary image in wood, and comes with its own story. As these images usually require special 'spiritual eyesight' to see, the vendor has helpfully indicated where the alleged image is on the photograph:
Last summer (2004) My wife and i had two trees taken out of our back yard.
As i was moving wood, i discovered that some of the big pieces had what appeared to be the Virgin Mary in the center. The pieces were to big for me to move and my wife is not able to help as she is permanently disabled from an injury that happened in 1999. She herniated 3 disks in her neck and damaged 3 in her lower back. She had surgery to fix her neck but they wouldnt operate on her lower back. She can walk (thank god) and she can only lift up to three pounds at any time.
The reason I am listing this on ebay is, we bought our house last year but the sellers never disclosed the fact that the walls were filled with mold from a leak in the roof that the inspector missed. We need to have it fixed as well as get a new roof. This could be ourblessing in disguiseso i figured why not.
The section of wood weighs about 150 - 200 pounds and whoever would like would probably have to come and get it as i dont think ups or fedx could ship something like that.
Does HIS HOLINESS POPE JOHN PAUL II IMAGE ON POPCORN CHICKEN count as a miracle for the purpose of sainthood?
After saying our prayers, prior to enjoying our dinner, my wife served our meal which included popcorn chicken. During the course of our meal, I looked down at my plate and saw clearly the image of his Holiness Pope John Paul II. I called my wife over and she saw the exact same thing as I. Sitting on his throne, the late Pope is seen bent over in prayer or performing a Mass. This is so wonderful to know that he is still with us. And we want to share this gift with the world. This piece of popcorn chicken is guaranteed to be unaltered.
Shipping will be $2.25 anywhere in the U.S.A.
Thank you and God Bless You!
Religious figures have been appearing at random in the houses of those who cannot wash the pots properly and, naturally, it all has something to do with the Pope. This New Pope! Virgin Mary hidden in cake pan is a fine example:
This is beyond bizarre. While I was washing my dishes this morning April 19 - I noticed the image of a woman's face in the metal work of my pan. It was just a few hours later that the new Pope, Benedict XVI was announced.
As you can see it's an astounding image resembling the Virgin Mary. I am not a religious person, and have no spiritually driven need to keep this pan as anything more than a tool - but I understand the significance of this relic I want it to belong to someone who would value this item as more than a kitchen utensil.
The Pan is 8" in diameter and the image consumes most of the pan. I removed the sides of the pan (it is spring form) so it could be better photographed. The sides will be included with purchase - please note that the sides are bent from being dropped. It is very hard to see the image with the sides on so they weren't used when the pan bottom was photographed.
I am very serious about this auction and understand the significance with the appointing of the new Pope Benedict XVI. Serious bidders only, please - this is not a joke.
Hopefully proceeds will go towards a dishwasher.
Today's irresistible auction is for a miracle mystery coconut - help for a special boy:
I ran across this miracle mystery coconut while looking for a coconut for my newphew Miles. Miles is four years old and loves coconuts. Everytime I visit him he wants me to bring a coconut from Florida. Well I have been traveling to see Miles more than usual the past few months. This is because his parents are going through a divorce and Miles has been taken away from his mother in a custody battle. Miles loves his mother and It has been a hard time for him and his two brothers (8 and 10) lately.
The coconut has cross etchings on it and what appears to be the word Jesus. It is still green but ready to be picked soon. The sale of the coconut will help provide clothes and shoes for Miles and his brothers. The father does not provide this for his children, and the mother is looking for a job and hoping to get custody of her kids. Until then they have nothing.
No photo is provided, so you'll just have to take her word for it.
Appearing in strange places is a game which is not limited to Christian figures, although they don't seem taken quite as seriously when they do. Take this Macadamia Nut Buddha Face:
I've been holding onto this for 6 years now because it's such a great conversation piece! I was working at a candy store in northern Wisconsin, cleaning up the fudge counter, just about to throw out the scrapings from the Macadmia Nut Fudge, when this little nut rolled over and I said
WOW- it looks like Buddha!I then proceeded to show all the customers for the rest of the day and kept it in a special box from then on! Now, I'm not a religious fanatic, I don't claim this is some strange sign from Buddha or anything like that, I just think it's a fun little collectable to show off- if you want to interpert it some other way, go ahead. I've just shown everyone by now and am ready to pass it on to someone else :)He'sstill in good condition, a little sticky *it is a 7 year old macadamia nut!*, and a small crack along the back of it- not affecting the face at all! The pictures show very well what he looks like. Happy bidding :)
After much searching, I finally have my Pope simulacrum. What's more, it's not just the late Pope - it's Jesus!! The Pope! Praying Hands! On this Holy Rock!. And the vendor really wants you to know about it, at length and in technicolour!
OH-MY-GOODNESS EBAYNIANS!!! THE IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST!, THE POPE! AND THE SHAPE OF PRAYING HANDS ON THIS HOLY ROCK OF GOD!!!! AND IT ALSO HAS A GREAT SOURCE OF ENERGY SOURCE OF FORCE POWER FLOWING FROM WITHIN IT!!! On the 1st photo of this you'll see the image of Jesus Christ!!! It's at the upper top of the Rock!! The Pointed area of The Rock!! As they say, Jesus "Is" The Rock!!! And the Pope is at the center of Jesus Christ, with his head towards Jesus's left shoulder. The Pope is kneeling in prayer with his hands up to his face. But Jesus Is All the energy that many need, right? I say "Many", because I do like to give respect to "All Forms Of Religions"...Some believe and some don't....that's how religion and such goes, But I'm moreso Spiritual than Religious, but I do also believe in what's said of Jesus Christ and such......but my beliefs go really deep in spirituality...... So, what you see?, Is Jesus The Rock!!!? Or On The Rock!? Pope John Paul!? Do you also see the Praying Hands!!? Place your hands together as in the position of prayer, to put your hands close to the photo of The Holy Rock, now tell me what you see!!! Are you feeling it!!?? I speak the truth and lie "Not!", as I held this Holy Rock which is also shaped like Praying Hands, in the palms of both my hands, I began to feel a strange kind of energy source from it that flowed through both my arms! The great blast of energy that I felt from this rock, rocked me and it sent a great rush through me all over. I found myself just rubbing this "Holy Rock" between my palms! The rush of energy that I felt made me want to set the Holy Rock" down and start clapping my hands as hard as I can! I felt like punching a punching bag if I had one!!! I felt like throwing my arms up high in the air and just shaking them!!! I felt like running!!! I felt like Soaring!!!! I felt so many things!!! I felt really energetic! And as I type this, I'm feeling that feeling and I'm not even holding the rock, for it's over there laying upon my bed, but even from there I'm feeling the energy!!! It's hard for me to explain in words!!! Some may ask, well "MysticSpirit" if you're feeling all of that, then why do you wish to sell the "Holy Rock Of Christ, with the image of The Pope, and the shape of praying hands? Well, my answer to that is..... With the great source and flow of energy force of power that I'm feeling from this rock, I don't want to seem selfish! I want another to feel what I'm feeling!!! I want to share this feeling!!! I want to Play It Forward!!!... How many of you are sitting back remembering the time when you last felt such a great rush of flow of energy!? How many of you wish that you could feel such a feeling once again!? Well that time has come around for you again, and the feeling is *Solid*!....."Solid As A Rock!!" I don't know how the feeling will shoot through you, but it shot through me with a great force of power that's out of this world! I'm feeling it from head to toe!!! And to all of the "Smart Addicts Out There In Ebay Land".....No, I'm "Not" on drugs(never done such as that in my life). "What I'm feeling from this "Holy Rock"(What I call it, by how it looks)..Is "ALL NATURAL!!" 100% PURE HOLY ROCK ENERGY!!! Maybe even some of you can even feel a touch of this energy by just looking at this "Holy Rock!" Well I don't want to be the only one sharing of this feeling, I want someone else to feel this feeling!!! Well, now that I've told you what I have been feeling, it's now up to you on rather you want to feel it too!!!! "And if you do......It's now Up To You!!!!" **Good Luck**
****Note: This Holy Rock Of Christ, with image of The Pope, Praying Hands, Is 3 and a half inches long, and almost 2 inches wide(Almost, depending what area it's measured from, from side to side.
The most important image that I see on the 1st rock on the main gallery page is of Jesus Christ.....This rock is also shaped like the praying hands... Look closely at the top of the rock, can you see what looks like the "FACE OF JESUS!!!"...WITH VERY LONG HAIR!! As well as Pope John Paul!! Even your hands folded in the prayer position looks pretty much identical to the Holy Rock!!! My Fellow Ebaynians! Don't miss out on this one!!! This one is the God's Truth!! This Rock was not formed!!! It was found on the ground just as it is many years ago!!(not sure the exact year, but long ago!) And seeing that this Holy Rock Of God was found as it was, there's not another one like it!!! So you will be the only one that has it!!! For your collection!! Or God's Gift to another! MAKE SURE "YOU" COME OUT THE VICTORIOUS ONE MY FELLOW EBAYNIAN/S!!! DON'T LET ANOTHER EBAYNIAN PUSH YOU OUT OF THE BIDDING!!! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY MAKE SURE IT BECOMES YOURS!!!! AND MAY THIS HOLY ROCK OF GOD BRING MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOURS!!!!!!! HAPPY BIDDING!!!!!!!! **PEACE BE UNTO YOU!**
I was told that the rock once belonged to a very nice religious older woman.. That the Holy Energy Rock was first picked up in the Upper Area of Michigan somewhere many years ago.....and that the older lady liked the rock so much(Or maybe the rock was calling to her and she didn't know it!!)...that she picked it up and took it home and placed it in her Tropical Fish Aquarium.....then her older son got it from her with the aquarium and contents of the aquarium that his mom gave to him...... And that just excited me even more, for in the aquarium are..."Fish!!!" What do they say of Jesus and his Apostles??? How they fished and such as that... How Jesus Fed them with just a small amount of fish! And I think bread or such!! How do that story go? Any of you Ebaynians know how it rightfully went? If you do, can you give a bit of feedback on how it was worded.........THIS HOLY ROCK IS PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Ebaynians!!! And many blessings to you all in Ebaynia!!! Hey, I was just thinking of how this Holy Rock has been around for so long, with first my friends mom, and then on to my friend.....but none of them seem to see the greatness of the Holy Rock! They knew that they loved this rock, but didn't know fully why......they just somehow saw it as being very unique, and that's why she somehow felt the urge to pick it up and bring it home! Sometimes we don't know fully why we may do a thing, but when the time is right, it's then revealed to us why we were so drawn to this thing....... Even when I first saw this rock I was drawn to it! But I too at the time didn't know why fully..... I thought that it had a nice smoothness to it...... One side of it being a greyish like color with a bit of brown, and the other side being mostly a dark brownish color... This Holy Rock is so full of tons of energy, and I can't help from touching it from time to time!! Then more energy seems to shoot right through me!!! You can pass it on to another!! Let them also touch of the Holy Rock Of Christ!! Surely it would touch everyone who touches it, holds it... And bless them in some way or another!! Even healing them if that's what the Holy Rock wishes to do!!! This is indeed a Precious Spiritual Rock!!! And there's none other same as it!!!
Hi again dear Ebaynians!! I added the other photo that I promised ya! It's the other side of the Holy Rock(3rd photo)....it's a dark smooth brownlike color....with great unique textures!!I have been feeling the great warmth and energy coming from the Holy Rock! You should too!! I love the uniqueness of rocks and other great God Givened Items of nature.... I'm always amazed and over joyed by the many designs, images and such that appear on, or are naturally an these items of nature.... Any feedback on rather any of you have also seen the images which are upon the Holy Rock? Take care.......don't wait too late to bid!! If you too see the uniqueness and great Holy images that are upon this Holy Rock, and wish to make it yours, don't be out bidded by another! Make it yours for keeps!
Goodnight my dearest Ebaynians! May the Forces Be With You All!!!!! I'm a messenger spiritually,and have been for many years. THIS HOLY ROCK AND ALL THAT ARE SHOWN UPON IT IS 100% REAL AND SHOWN FROM ABOVE! YOU CAN HAVE THIS HOLY ROCK CHECKED OUT, IT'S ORIGINAL!! IT HAS "NOT" BEEN FORMED BY ME NOR ANOTHER, IT'S FORMED FROM THE GREAT SPIRITUAL FORCES OF GOD ABOVE!!! I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND LIE NOT!!! IT'S A GIFT TO ME FROM THE FORCES THAT BE, TO BE SHOWN AND OFFERD TO THEE!!!
If this Holy Rock becomes "yours" you must cherish it, and keep it safe!!! You can place it in your home, and recieve of it's great blessings. You can "pray with it", you can take it with you as you go to and fro(but keep it safe!!) You can place it in the room of the sick, in rest and peace(In which ever way God so chooses this to be)... You can place it in the room of your love one/s for great spiritual blessing and protection! You can place it within your special garden, that's ok, for it's a Holy Rock, it can take the heat and much more of the forces of nature, but just keep it safe. There's no other Holy Rock like this one! It can never be replaced!! So start you bid, don't be out bidded, and this Holiest Rock of All Rocks can be yours from the powers that be!! Tell me, "WHAT DOES A "FAKE" CHEESE SANDWICH HAVE OVER THE TRUE HOLY ROCK OF GOD!!? "GOLDEN PALACE?" "ANYONE?" WHAT DOES THAT HAVE OVER WHAT'S REAL, WHAT'S SHOWN, WHAT'S GIVEN FROM ABOVE IN SIGNS AND IMAGES!? MIND YOU, THIS HOLY ROCK IS PRICELESS, THERE CAN NEVER BE TOO MUCH PAID FOR THIS ONE AND ONLY HOLY ROCK!! PLACE THY BID UPON THIS SOLID ROCK AND HAVE THE BEST ITEM OFFERED IN EBAY HISTORY!!! MAY THE WINNING BID AND BLESSINGS BE PLACE FROM THEE!!! Peace Be Upon Thee!!
If you can see it, let me know.
Today's bargain is the victim of misidentification. Described as spoon with h20 mark shape of a cross/week Pope passed, remarkable claims are made for this strange object:
Normal serving spoon came out of the dishwasher the day Pope John Paul II passed away with a water mark resembling the holy cross.
On Apr-08-05 at 04:05:10 PDT, seller added the following information:
Portions of proceeds will be donated to a Catholic Charity.
Now, to me, that looks more like the Japanese kanji 穴 [ketsu], which means hole or cavity. Of course, it could still be read as topical by the desperately pious, as the character forms one half of 墓穴 [boketsu], which means 'grave'. Now, don't go complaining that the Prattle isn't educational!
Close but no banana, today's bargain isn't a miracle image of the late Pope, but a related phenomemon - a jar containing the Tears of the Pope.
Over the past few years my health has been less than optimal to say the least. I haven't had the money or the insurance to fully treat myself. I have been praying day and night for an answer. A few days ago sometime after the Pope's passing he appeared to me. I said to him
I was sorryand I wept for his passing. He told me not to cry any tears for him because he is not in pain anymore. The only pain he feels is for us. He told me he was aware of my pain and that he cries for all of us. Since then a jar I use for holy water has been filling up slowly drip by drip. I live in a dry climate and jar has been closed. My only explanation is that these are the tears of our passed beloved Pope John Paul II.
I do not wish to make money in this way, but I fear this condition may not improve because I am not rich and cannot afford what I need to treat my condition. I only wish to treat my condition and have no use or want for any other money. I trust God will only give me what I need. I feel that this is God answering my prayers and he has a plan for me even I do not make the money for my treatment. Praise our Lord!! Thanks be to God!!
Still no Pope simulcra, but Jesus is showing up in some strange places. Look at this Face of Jesus Christ on a Constantine movie ticket!
I want to be totally honest. I had this ticket for weeks, but I just recently noticed this. I consider myself a movie buff. I go to the movies alot. As a hobby, I also collect my movie stubs. Well, I was floored when I noticed this!!! At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But the more I look at it, the more relevant it seems. If you focus on this movie ticket, you can see the face of our lord and savior Jesus Christ himself!!! The ACTUAL ticket is even more convincing than the photocopy you see here!
When I discovered the image, I scanned it into my computer. What you see here is a copy of the original ticket, then how I took the time to enhance the ticket copy to make it even more visible... I used Photoshop to draw out the background images as you can see. Then I made an outline of Christ's face so you can better visualize his aura.
I find it also fitting that this image would appear on a "Constantine" movie ticket stub. Anyone who has seen the movie knows that it deals heavily with the Christian religion.
You may be wondering why I would want to sell this ticket. Well, I believe this ticket is like the bible and should be shared. I am only asking for money because I feel someone who is willing to pay for it, has the faith to treat it with respect. This is a great spiritual gift and a definite conversation piece. GOD bless you all.
Note: If the picture of the ticket doesn't appear here, see it @ http://www.ade.0catch.com/faceofjesus.jpg
Note: I put a black bar on the picture to block out the theatre name because I don't want that theatre to be harrassed
P.S. All proceeds from this auction will go to a good cause
Except, of course, his faith led him to host his images on a site which doesn't allow you to link to it from eBay, or anywhere.
My efforts to find a Pope simulacrum for sale on eBay have yet to bear fruit, but I did find this petrified jesus Turnip, his face is clearly visible!:
Our tottam of Jesus started out as a simple turnip purchased for lunch one day. It was forgotten and after a few weeks it was almost all dried out. With some divine inspiration it's owner pushed his fingers in the turnip in a few places and left it out to finish drying, As you can plainly see this Petrified turnip bears the face of jesus! We have showed this to our friends and family and they are amazed! we Call it our little
jesus veggiThis good luck symbol can be carried with you anywhere you go as a measure of comfort! this ranks right at the top of amazing phanominon!
Note the above example of Christian English.
Clearly inspired by an earlier effort, today we have another divine door, even if all I can see is Gandalf! The vendors insist this is a Miracle Door-Image of God's Face
This wooded door has an image of the face of God (look for yourself). This image appeared at a time when our family was going through problems. Since the appearance, it had brought positive outcomes and our faith back. Our family calls this door the
Miracle Door. The door measures approximately 23 1/2" wide and 78 1/2" long.
You will not regret buying this door. This door will only bring you positive outcomes. Seller paying shipping cost!!!
You know, looking more closely at that image, it looks more like Satan than anything else - you can even see the horns! Ain't nature wonderful?
The pious imaginations are in overdrive today, with two holy apparitions appearing on eBay. First up THE AMAZING HOLY GOD MUSSEL:
I found this amazing item whilst strolling along the beach in Christchurch, England. I couldn't quite believe it at first, but the mussel actually says 'God' on it! The holy inscription was written by a tube worm (Pomatoceros trigueter), though this one was clearly trying to tell us something! These worms usually leave meaningless white deposits on mussels, as I'm sure we've all seen in restaurants/ on the beach.
I thought the mussel was too exciting to leave on the shore, so I picked it up and took it home. Almost instantly things started to happen which made me think the mussel is lucky, or holy or something! Things have been going so much better at Uni and at home (for example my boyfriend and my sister's boyfriend both asked us to marry them within a week!), that it can't just be coincidence. With the mussel still in my pocket on the way home I found a ten pound note on the pavement! I believe it has given me really good luck, and since I am training to be a Vet (five years of University training in England doesn't come cheap!), I think it's time to pass the luck of the mussel onto someone else, and let it bring me my final bit of help.
I hope it brings you as much luck as it has brought me. I will also send with the mussel a signed certificate from me to confirm where I found it, as I think the fact it was found in 'Christ Church' makes it even more significant!
I am even less convinced by this JESUS PROFILE FOUND IN A PIECE OF POPCORN :
JESUS PROFILE FOUND IN A PIECE OF POPCORN. IT IS TRUE, SEE THE PHOTO! I WAS EATING POPCORN ONE DAY AND DISCOVERED THIS PIECE WITH A LIKENESS OF JESUS. AS SEEN IN THE PICTURE, HE IS LOOKING LEFT. YOU CAN SEE HIS CHIN, MOUTH, NOSE, EYE AND HAIR AND NECK. WHEN I WENT TO PHOTOGRAPH THIS POPCORN WITH MY DIGITAL CAMERA SOMETHING STRANGE HAPPENED. I COULD NO LONGER USE THE VIEW FEATURE AFTER THE FIRST PICTURE WAS TAKEN. WHEN I DOWN LOADED THE IMAGES ON MY COMPUTER THE CAMERA WORKED FINE AFTER THAT. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS A FLUKE OR THE CAUSE OF A HIGHER POWER. BECAUSE THIS IS FOOD I CAN NOT GUARANTEE IT'S CONDITION AFTER SHIPPING. BUT POPCORN IS PRETTY STABLE, AND EVEN WHEN STALE, CAN LAST A LONG TIME.
Red Wolf has found a treasure trove in the Oriental Trading Company. It will indeed become the standard fallback when the crack tat-spotting team at Prattle Towers fails to find anything of interest on eBay. Today we look at some of the lovely soft toys suitable for the Christian child.
![[Little doggie angels]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/otc/dog-angels.jpg)
First up are these REALISTIC PLUSH DOG ANGELS, at $7.95 for 12: 7" Plush Realistic Angel Dogs. Each with tricot angel wings and a tinsel halo. Assorted styles.
They're almost as delightful as the PLUSH PRAYING LAMBS - 83c PER PIECE, each of which bears a felt cross.
In the Department of Bad Puns, you can find PLUSH JESUS IS DEER TO ME REINDEERS.
![[Reading the Bible is like taking E]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/otc/smiley.jpg)
Clearly there is some form of specifically Christian Ecstasy on the black market. How else do you explain these SMILE FACE BEAN BAGS W/BIBLE or these neon-coloured Vacation Bible School Plush Bears. Each with an embroidered cross? RAINBOW FAITH PLUSH BEARS are clearly from the same drug-addled mind. Alas, the picture on the web site is not large enough for me to determine what it says on the attached label.
United States: They're Easter eggs. They come wrapped in garishly coloured foil adorned with a crucifix. And — wait for it — they're Kosher.
Alas, the Oriental Trading Company (home of enough crappy, plastic religious tat to keep the Prattle amused for weeks) is fresh out of Kosher Crucifix Easter eggs, but they do have some daisy patterned ones in stock, so you're still in with a shot of offending your fundamentalist Jewish friends with gifts of Gentile cluelessness.
Kosher Easter Treats - Banana Stew, 2nd February 2005 (via Boing Boing).
One of the benefits of religion is a highly-tuned imagination. Just look at this Apparition - Original Handprint from Heaven:
As I was cleaning one day, I looked at my towel and saw the
Handprint from Heaven.You can see how closely it resembles the picture of Christ. If you look closely you can also see an angel ascending into Heaven. As you look longer at it, several faces appear. It has been featured on several news stations and seen by hundreds. It has been blessed by several priests, including the Archbishop. It's authentic, one-of-a-kind.
Today's vendor does not know anything about how veneer is made and installed. So, they are really surprised when they spot an odd mirror image.
This wooden door has an image of Jesus in the wood grain. It is amazing how clearly Jesus is in the door. If you look closely it looks like Jesus is praying. You can see arms and where the hands are folded in prayer. You can see his hair, and even the outline of his chin.
Actually, this is one of the better simulacra I've seen recently, though if you want a religious interpretation, I'd say Moses bearing the Ten Commandments would be a better one.
It seems that superstitious folk are seeing the Virgin Mary everywhere these days -- and then promptly auctioning her on eBay. Take this Collectible Rocks Natural Formation Mother Mary & Jesus as an example. All I can see is a well-eroded lump of stone, but those with that special eye of faith can see more:
This Rock looks like Blessed Mother Mary holding the infant Baby Jesus. The opposite side looks like the adult Master and Savior.
This Spectacular Rock was located in a creek bed under a waterfall in middle Tennessee just north of Nashville very recently.
This rock Measures 3 1/4" long and 2" wide at the base.
When this rock was located and picked up it was apparent without a doubt that it had the image of Mother Mary and Baby Jesus.
The vendor claims a special talent for seeing that which isn't there: I have other Rocks and Fossils that I will be placing for auction.
One of these looks uncannily like the skull of Invader Zim, although our vendor sees something different.
This Rock has been naturally formed into the shape of what looks like a Skull and looks like Frankenstein.
It was found in a creek bed under a small waterfall in central Tennessee just north of Nashville .
This rock formation is full of fossils.
It measures 4 1/2" Long by 3 3/4" wide. It weighs approx. one pound.
Please feel to ask and questions before you bid.
I think I'm right on this one.
Not the Virgin Mary this time, but a simpler simulacrum in the form of this L@@K~CRUCIFIX - CHRISTIAN ICON - POTATO CHIP ~ UNIQUE!!:
You are bidding on this rare potato chip in the shape of the Christian icon or symbol.
* GOOD FRIDAY IS NEAR!!!
* EASTER IS COMING!!!
This particular chip is from a collection of potato chips I have collected over the years.I recently sold a shamrock chip on Ebay. It is now available to the highest bidder of this auction. Regardless of your belief, you can now own this timeless artifact. With the coming holidays approaching, you are at the right place at the right time to bid on this item.
You have seen potato chips, sandwiches, loaves of bread,ect that resemble the virgin Mary or other religious people or symbols.
Now, you can own this wonderful crucifix chip.
This is not some cheap immitation nor a reproduction, it is a real potato chip with a Christian symbol or icon. It is the real deal. Whether the winning bidder is Golden Palace, the Vaticant, a collector of rare artifacts, or even an average person. This chip is available to the one with the highest bid. You will not be disappointed with this item.
If you have at least $1000 (US) going spare, you could invest it in a large dog-sized cat flap. It's a bit mucky, but with a bit of creative interpretation, you can see that the VIRGIN MARY IMAGE HAS APPEARED!! ON DOGGIE DOOR.
This is a image of Virgin Mary that appeared on my dogs doggie door, about 4 yrs ago. You are bidding on the doggie door ONLY. (However, you can email me with any questions about the dog house.) Please, only serious bidders!
Our cat flap is just as dirty...
Today's bargain really is a bargain - it won't cost you a thing, even though the bits of paper printed with some old poetry have incredible powers:
A Breslov student in Jerusalem sent me about 10 wallet sized cards printed with the Tikkun HaKlali.
The Tikkun HaKlali is also known as The General Remedy or The Ten Healing Psalms.
Rabbi Nachman specified ten psalms that he said contain the general remedy for maladies of the soul, especially depression.
By simply carrying this card it will help you overcome sin, provide protection and remedy any problem you might be experiencing.
I have these cards all over the house, cars, wallet, computer etc.
So far so good!
The student who sent it to me told me how they offered these cards to 3 Israeli soldiers patrolling the Old City of Jerusalem.
2 of them took it and the 3rd declined (he felt it would not help him in any way).
They were subsequently involved in a bomb blast.
The 2 with the Tikkun HaKlali cards survived.
The 3rd died - may Hashem have mercy on his soul!
If you would like me to send you one - free of charge - please e-mail me your name and address to silberman6000@yahoo.com
The ten psalms (to be read in this order) are: 16, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, 150.
The rest of the site, The Jewish Prophecy - FULFILLED! is fascinating, for the usual Prattle definition of that word.
Note: the discussion of this at LiveJournal is getting rather interesting.
Hangman Bible for Macintosh is an excellent tool for religious homeschoolers--not only do you get to indoctrinate your child, but the unusual word order in the game's name gives them a head start in Christian English. Not bad for $25 (US). So, what is it?
Hangman Bible is a religious-themed take on the classic hangman game, the same game we all played when we were kids, on paper or on the blackboard at school. Hangman Bible is a classic word game. It's easy to play, and fun for all ages. Letters can be chosen using the mouse or the keyboard. Words can be selected from various religious-themed built-in categories, suitable for Sunday Schools. Hangman Bible is a colorful, educational game with digitized sound effects, speech, non-violent graphics, a little cultural literacy, and whole lot more. Non-violent, family software at its best.
Hangman Bible supports the speech synthesis that's built-in to most Macs. The speech synthesizer can spell and/or say the word that was just guessed. It can even speak words of encouragement when you win or lose the game. (Registered users can customize these phrases.) Hangman Bible includes many speech-related enhancements, making the game much more fun for visually-challenged users.
Another exciting feature of Hangman Bible is the Knowledge Area. Game words (that is, the words that you have to guess in the game) can include information about that particular word or phrase. For instance, if the word category is Saints, when the game ends, information about the Saint just guessed will be shown.
Hangman Bible now features built-in word categories, such as: Apostles, Bible Stories, Books of the Old Testament, Books of the New Testament, Christmas, Jewish Months, Popes, Religious Words and Phrases, Sacraments, Saints and Women in the Bible.
Hangman Bible is a colorful, educational game with digitized sound effects, speech, non-violent graphics, a little cultural literacy, and whole lot more. The perfect game for your home or for Sunday School. It's available now for a free 10-Day Trial.
It seems the Christian English dictionary defines non-violent
a little differently than the regular, Satanic dictionaries. I suspect the entry reads a little like this:
non-violent adj. Of poor quality, not very accomplished.non-violent graphics, low resolution, blocky images see Sinclair ZX Spectrum.
As for the conventional definition of non-violent
, well, when you lose (and I'm ashamed to admit that it took me far longer than expected to lose a game) the hanged man swings ominously, an impressive touch of realism for such a simple game. But non-violent
? My arse!
Still, if you are tempted by this remarkable shareware product, the requirements are quite modest -- you need a PowerPC Macintosh with screen resolution of 800x600 (or more), running OS9 or OSX
. And victims of the Borg need not worry, as A Windows version is also available
.
If I'm going to pay >$750 for a bit of rock, then I'd expect it to be diamond or something, but apparently (according to the vendor), these WISHING ROCKS are Powerful, Magical, will bring you Luck and Happiness
, and so must be worth it, right?
MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! Wishing rocks from the Last Frontier! These rocks have been used throughout history for meditating, praying, and of course, wishing. Their mere presence in your life brings a sense of serene spirituality, and their use in rituals or concentrated prayers brings an overwhelming feeling and knowledge of completeness and understanding, as though whatever you wish for will come to fruition, what you've longed for will be yours. It's a peace-gaining experience to own, use and cherish the wishing rocks. These wishing rocks have never been touched by human hands until acquired specifically for you, which makes these wishing rocks perfect for all of your dreams and wishes!
![[Jesus, allegedly]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/jesus-pancake.jpg)
Shrove Tuesday isn't till tomorrow, but Jesus doesn't seem to be very good at timing his appearances, which is why we feature this Vision of Jesus Christ on a Pancake as today's bargain.
The pictured comestible apparently contains, as you might have guessed, an image of Jesus. The vendor has described it in detail, but I suspect they have special spiritual eye sight, because I can't see it at all.
Jesus appeared on my apple pancake. I was shocked to see it when I flipped it over. A radius of apple halo crowns His head, and his eyes are upturned to heaven. This is a miracle to turn the direction of my life to the right path. Thank you for this vision Lord, I hope others may see it as proof of Your mysterious ways.
Today's bargain is a job lot of flashing Jesii, complete with flowing ginger locks:
These Jesus statues can be seen gracing the dashboards of delivery trucks in Christian states throughout India, but are new to America.
Lot of 7: 3 Jesus blue, 3 Jesus black, plus ONE Mary!
All are plastic with 2-3 colors of flashing LEDs! Very cool looking at night. An excellent way to profess one's faith. Jesus runs on 12V only; Mary runs on 6V or 12V. Put one at the peak of your Christmas tree! Keep one in the window of your home as a guardian!
NOTE: Mary and 2 of the Jesus statues need simple repair. The electronics work, but the statue has come off of its base and needs to be reglued.
I would prefer to sell them as a lot, but if you see this and are interested in purchasing just one; then if the lot does not sell, I can sell you one in good working condition for $9.99 plus $4.00 shipping.
A Miss Poppy Dixon recently left a comment on an earlier Bargain, so imagine my delight when I discover she is an online retailer of religious tat, and contemporary kitsch with religious themes. Among the genuine tat, my favourites include this Glow-in-the-Dark Christian Switch Plate:
Plastic, gothic-shaped luminescent switch plate with gilt relief text,Bless this house Oh Lord we pray. Make it safe by night and day.Bas relief face of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at the top with additional text,I will bless every home where a picture of my heart shall be exposed and honored.Really pretty. 6 1/2"x 2 3/4"
Miss Dixon can also supply you with vintage Christian tracts, in themed packs. I'm tempted by the False Faiths Series which could include such delights as The Black Art of Witchcraft, 4 Things God Wants the Jew to Know or The Priest Who Found Christ. The End Times Series also includes a number of items of interest here at Prattle Towers, such as Beware 666 and The Mark of the Beast.
Among the selection of contemporary kitsch, all I can say is send me the entire Hell-o Satan range now!
.
Religious simulacra continue to appear on eBay. The latest proclaims Jesus appeared on my Tortilla! The description merely assures us it is not joke, and leaves us to contemplate the photo in peace.
Fed up with Strathmore? Why not try this Shaman Blessed Holy Rain Water. With a starting bid of $30 (US) required, it might seem a tad expensive, but it's special, you see.
This water was gathered during the strongest lightning storms that occured last year. It was then blessed during every full moon-plus: a blue moon, every lightning storm all year long, a solar eclipse.
Bless your house, property, belongings, car/truck. babies-anything that comes to mind. A years worth of work and blessings.
You are bidding on one bottle of blessed and charged holy water.
The over-active imaginations are hard at work on eBay still. How else would this cartoon of Zaphod Beeblebrox become MYSTERIOUS IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST?
THIS IS AN ORDINARY KITCHEN COOKING POT. ONE NIGHT AFTER MY BROTHER WASHED THE DISHES HE WENT FOR THE POT TO PUT IT AWAY AND AS THE POT BEGAN TO DRY AN UNUSUAL IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST APPEARED. HE LEFT THE POT ON THE COUNTER GRABBED HIS CAMERA AND SENT SOME PICTURES TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND ASKED, "WHAT DO YOU SEE" WELL OF COURSE EVERYONE ELSE SAW THE SAME MYSTERIOUS IMAGE. HE DECIDED TO LEAVE THE POT AS IT AND LET IT CONTINUE TO DRY ON IT'S OWN ASSUMING ONCE COMPLETELY DRY THE IMAGE WOULD GO AWAY. IT'S BEEN ABOUT 3 MONTHS AND THE IMAGE REMAINS THE SAME. DON'T BELIEVE IT? ARE THE PICTURES NOT CONVINCING ENOUGH? BID AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. THE IMAGE IS REAL. AS REAL AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE. IT'S A MUST SEE TO BELIEVE. PLEASE EMAIL WITH ANY QUESTIONS BEFORE BIDDING. NO PHONY BIDDERS PLEASE, JESUS IS WATCHING.
You too can have a bit of someone's dead body in your home! Well, the vendor doesn't describe it in those terms - they say it's a 1st CLASS RELIGIOUS RELIC ST.JOHN NEUMANN:
YOU ARE BIDDING ON A 1ST CLASS RELIGIOUS RELIC,ST JOHN NEUMANN WHO WAS BORN ON MARCH 28TH 1811 AND DIED JANUARY 5 1860.HIS BODY LIES IN A GLASS CASE IN PHILADELPHIA,PA.THIS RELIC HAS SOME OF HIS BONE INSIDE AND HAS A UNBROKEN THREAD AND WAX SEAL IN THE BACK.MY CAMERA DOES NOT TAKE GOOD PICTURES BUT THE RELIC IS AS DESCRIBED AND IN GOOD CONDITION.DURING ST.NEUMANNS LIFE HE PREFORMED MANY MIRACLES AND THERE IS ALOT ABOUT HIM THAT YOU CAN READ ON THE INTERNET.GOOD LUCK.
Which is a bit too ghoulish even for this old goth.
It seems you can't keep a good joke down, even when it's reached the point where it's no longer funny. As evidence, I present to you this JESUS PITA BREAD SAD FACE COLLECTIBLE/COLLECTABLE:
HERE IS A PHOTO OF A PITA BREAD FROM WHICH I WAS EATING LAST YEAR WHEN I SAW JESUS' SAD FACE STARING RIGHT BACK AT ME. I IMMEDIATELY WAS TAKEN BY IT AND HAD TO SAVE JESUS. I'VE HELD ONTO IT FOR SOME TIME BUT CANNOT CARE FOR IT AS I PROPERLY SHOULD. IT IS NOT MOLDY IN ANY SORT OF WAY AND IS NOW REALLY HARDENED BY THE WAY THE WORLD IS TODAY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF JESUS PITA, PLEASE BID ON IT RESPONSIBLY. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
Today's bargain is one of those metal wine decanters, like the ones you can buy in any Spanish tourist trap. So why mention it here? Because its really Solid Brass Bottle with Spout (Possibly Haunted) which May Contain Genie / Ghost / Spirit !!
. Note that the vendor makes no claim that this is the case, just that it might.
Spooky Spooky Spooky
On offer is one solid brass bottle. It has a handle, a spout and a lid on a hinge. The brass is slightly aged however it could easily be polished to look good as new*. There is also a small chip on the spout. It is of a middle eastern-esque style, however I am not sure of its origin as I will explain further on.
I am unsure of the age of this item as one day my friend found it at his house. No one in his family had any idea where it had come from. It was quite the mystery!
He decided to give it to me to list on ebay because we thought it could possibly be haunted and we didn't really want to have that sort of thing around.
(It's pretty spooky).
A lot of wierd stuff has been constantly happening to us since we found it. We can never go out with out some odd occurance. The Lights in my friends room shorted out and wont work and and no girls have been out with either myself or my friend since we found it (despite both being attractive) and a lot more unfortunate happenings. I'm not sure but I think it all has to do with the bottle.
But don't worry the item is not cursed, it is in fact lucky the spirit just doesn't like us due to previous disrespect of its home.
I can't guarantee that it is haunted but I believe it is.
In fact If you're not into haunted stuff then It would make a nice decorative feature for your house regardless.
If you any questions about the unusual nature of this item feel free to ask.
*Polishing may or may not release entity possibly haunting bottle
There are NO, I repeat NO refunds on this item.
The bidding currently stands at $30 (AUS).
Today's bargain is a picture of a church on fire, and you can buy it now for a mere $30,000.00 (US)! So what's so special about it? Well, if you are not blind and have any imagination whatsoever, some bits of the picture look like faces, and you know who that must be:
Home during the Holidays, I was looking through some old photos that my mom had and stumbled upon this jem. It was early on the morning of Jan 1st 1990, when this church (St. Joseph DuMoine ) caught on fire. It was 15 years ago to the start of this auction.
This photo was not developed right after the fire, in fact, my mother cannot remember when it was developed. After being developed the photo was aired in the local paper, showing the phenomenon.
I could put many names on the faces within the photo, but it is my full belief that it is the Lord himself that can be seen in the flames above the cross. There are another two faces that I can see in the photo, the second one is on the left hand side on the pavement, between the fire hose and the snow, and the third is in the flames of the church. The third face is located in the flames to the left of the piece of white wood on the right hand side of the front of the church. These are indicated on the second photo with black circles. The third face is much more distinguishable in the actual photo, but none the less is present in the scanned image.
I am not looking for publicity, which is why I am not putting it into the media, I hope that this photo brings the winning bidder luck and good fortune.
Well, no publicity other than that which is inevitable when you put something silly on eBay for a ridiculous price!
Today's bargain is a CD, but it's not just any old dodgy bit of Christian rock, or even C-Rap. No, DEVIL SPEAKS THROUGH MAN is really, really special.
Dear buyer, I want to warn you what is on this CD, I find very frightening and unsettling, It is a man who I believe is possessed bye the devil are some evil sprit. The contexts of the CD which I believe is the Devil himself speaking to the world is a massage to the effect of how he is able to convince the people he doesn't exist. And the way he operates, with out alarming people to his presence threw science and other fields. I personally believe based on the message it is real, but you make up your own mind, but which ever way you see it, the message is based in truth and reality. I do not believe it is some religious person trying to scare people as I first through. I believe the world should hear this warning.
You can have one of 25 copies of this exciting recording for a mere $1 (US - approx £0.03)! The same vendor also offers the ESSENCE OF JESUS CANDLE. It seems He did not pong the same as any other man:
PSALM 45 v 8 In the bible
All thy garments smell of Myrrh, and Aloes, and Cassia out of the Ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad.
This very special candle is made with Myrrh, Aloes and Cassia listed above, which is the scent of Jesus according to Psalm 45 v 8. The candle has a very embracing smell and glow, and gives you a sense of bing close to Jesus. Available in red, white or Green. Candle is brand new.
CheesyJesus.com sells Truly God Awful stuff
. Stuff like this Guadalupe Belt Buckle or this Jesus Ashtray:
If the Surgeon General's warning isn't enough, maybe a guilt trip from God will get you to quit your nasty habit. Remember: Heaven is non-smoking; you might want to get used to it now. (This message brought to you by the American Cancer Society and the Lord.) Ashtray measures 3.75" and is made of glass. Temporarily Out of Stock.
Today's Bargain won't cost you a thing, thanks to the untiring artists at Eziekiel 33 Graphics, assuming you actually have any use for enormous Messianic Jewish (i.e. Christians, but with bacon cravings) web art. And they take commissions too:, but not from just anybody:
I am willing to design specific graphics for websites, if you will just email me with what you want, I'll see what I can come up with! I can design logo's & banners also! I do this as a service for the Body of Christ! There is no charge for these special requests, but I need your website address, so that I can visit your site to make sure that I agree with your biblical views. There is far too much false teachings that I in no way want to be a part of! I am here to serve & to glorify Y'shua! I don't make animated graphics, but I do animated texts, so make sure to check those out, also.
See, not even having a Jewish mother can help with Christian English (thanks, Tez).
Miracles do happen, and to mark a recent one, this Red Sox Supper print has been produced in a limited edition of 500.
Share in the celebration with this limited edition 40" x 20" Giclee Canvas Print! Hang it in your TV room, or order one for your sports bar! This print will last over 100 years and will go down in history as one of the best pieces of memorabilia to come from the biggest win in red sox history. Only 500 have been printed! Get yours now. ($149.99 US)
And for the well-off fan, an even more limited edition of TEN ONLY Special Edition GIGANTIC 40"(3'4") x 80"(6'8") Giclee Framed & Stretched Canvas Prints!
is available for a mere $2,000.00 + $200 (S+H).
More impecunious fans can also buy the design as posters, on T-shirts and on mugs. (via Avedon).
Need money for medical bills? Well why not scribble on a picture of Jesus and sell it, like the vendor of this 'miraculous' Jesus with image of Mother Mary appearing in robes:
This is truly a Miracle
This is the original coloring book drawing, colored by my wife and my 4 year old daughter, not a copy. It has been in our family bible for 25 years.
My wife was explaining to my daughter about Jesus, Heaven and the recent loss of her unborn child while they were coloring this picture of Jesus. While coloring the robes white, the image of Mother Mary appeared from nowhere. Image could not be seen before coloring. It is not on the back side of page. Mary’s image was not found in the book on any page.
It is truly a miracle!
Must sell, due to health reasons, my wife will cry for days when this icon leaves the family bible
Still looks like wax over pencil to me.
Christian blog Going Jesus is celebrating Advent by posting a daily Nativities That Maybe Don't Need to Exist
. Every example would be a Bargain of the Day here. So far, my favourite is the Chicken Nativity (I would really have to display this one in a creche made from a KFC bucket
).
And that site also provides a related link: UglyChristmasLights.com.
This site is here to show those houses where the residents are likely celebrating a happy holiday, but have no sense of decency in how they choose to celebrate. We will show the garish, the ugly, the weird. For your own sake, and the sake of your neighbors, do not try this at home.
(Thanks, Charlotte.)
Want to Make! Money! Fast!? This Cooking Up Religious Icons CookBook! contains a few ideas:
Wow! This recipe book was inspired by the infamous Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Now you can cook up your own religious icons! Yes, your entire family will enjoy the wonder and awe of gathering around the dinner table to see if Peter, Paul, or ummm, Mary join in your feast. From a sizzling Jewish dish summoning those silly Rabbis of the past, to good 'ol Catholic pastries that may, and I stress MAY, produce images of those belt-yielding, knuckle- slapping nuns of your childhood days, this cookbook covers only the best! Whoo Hooo! Yum. Yum. And, how about Adam and Eve Apple Tarts! Yes indeed, nothin' says lovin' like tempting apple tarts.
25 personal recipies in total, from sinful deserts, heavenly main entrees, and even BREAD, this cookbook may unite your family like never before. lmagine any sinner simply cooking and eating their way to repentence!
Please note that I can cannot guarantee your personal results. Results do vary. Quality of cooking oil, location of home, elevation, angle of stove, overhead lighting, and your own personal disposition may determine results. However, that has yet to be determined. While I may have seen images of religious symbols when cooking from these recipies, I also believe that Martha Stewart is a Saint. OMG!! Wouldn't it be great if Martha's face showed up in the humble pie recipe! Note: Not responsible if John Lennon appears in any dish created.
Finally, if the bidding exceeds $2,000, I will gift to you a walking cane that does absolutely nothing but assist in leveraging a person that needs balance.
On-line casinos are highly encouraged to bid!!
Germany: Having trouble with your neighbours over that mobile phone mast in your back garden? Well why not disguise it?
For €25,000, you can get a crucifix (the item thatcrosses the line, geddit?) antenna from Industrieanlageabau - or a tree, complete with realistic bark.
The report says the mayor of Schwabhausen, in deeply Catholic Bavaria, has come out against such an antenna in his village church. But others have gone ahead:Everyone recognizes the church now,said Johannes de Fallois, pastor at a church in Neuburg.
Germans crucify Jesus on mobile mast - The Register. 29th November 2004.
For a Virgin, Mary sure is putting herself about a bit. Now she's shown up on a bit of wood and is for sale on eBay.
Virgin Mary apparition on wood!
This is not your grandmas grilled cheese sandwich!
These pictures have not been modified or altered in any way.
Yours for at least $20,000.
If you have a spare $100 million, you might be interested in this Virgin Mary In Grilled Cheese NOT A HOAX ! LOOK & SEE !:
You are viewing an extroidinary out of this world item!! I made this sandwich 10 years ago, when I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up at me, It was Virgin Mary starring back at me, I was in total shock, I would like to point out there is no mold or disingration, The item has not been preserved or anything, It has been keep in a plastic case, not a special one that seals out air or potiental mold or bacteria, it is like a miracle, It has just preserved itself which in itself I consider a miracle, people ask me if I have had blessings since she has been in my home, I do feel I have, I have won $70,000 (total) on different occasions at the casino near by my house, I can show the recipts to the high bidder if they are interested, I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is the Virgin Mary Mother Of God, That is my solem belief, but you are free to believe that she is whomever you like, I am not scamming anyone, I would like all potinetal bidders to know that this has gained alot of attention from media personell around the country, On Tuesday November 16, 2004 the Miami Herald will feature a story in thier paper on this phenomon, Also Today which is November 15, 2004 The story of The Virgin Mary In The Grilled Cheese will be aired on Channel 4 News here in South Florida, The story has been told nationwide on radio stations ect. I also would like all onlookers to understand why I am choosing to keep the high bidders ID private, I listed this once before and had all kinds of emails some were nice and funny comments but many were cruel intended, and vindictive, I ignored them but, I do not wish to subject potiental buyers to this form of invasion, The last time this was listed there were over 80,000 viewers, Like I said I recieved alot of emails that were down right cruel intended, I do not care I will not read them anyhow, but you should not waste your time being vindictive, I am asking that only serious questions about the item be emailed to me, not jokes or ridiclous comments, If you have a genuine question please do feel free to email, I am not scamming anyone I am selling this item proivided that there is a serious bid with a payment, SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY! DO NOT BID IF YOU INTEND TO RETRACT THE BID OR FOOL AROUND, THERE IS NO RESERVE ON THIS AUCTION!! I AM STARTING IT OUT AT THE BOTTOM LINE PRICE THAT I INTEND TO SELL THIS ITEM FOR!!
How the image could be interpreted as the Virgin is unexplained, unless she has a thing for pre-raphaelite art. Still, some people are not taking this wonderful item seriously, for example: Virgin Mary's Used Gum in Grilled Cheese!! LOOK & SEE!.
This is an actual representation of what I believe is the used chewing gum once chewed by the Virgin Mary. I can't say this item is a miracle, but I can say I have had some strange luck while possessing this item. I once found 25 cents by my car in the Wal-mart parking lot. I'm sure all of you can appreciate how difficult it is to find loose change in a parking lot, much less a Wal-mart parking lot. A true miracle if there ever was one. If you require proof, I will gladly send you a picture of the quarter.
(thanks, Mike).
Messianic Jews apparently have a term for their symbol combining a Magen David with a cross, and you too can buy a Cross: Stross Sterling Silver Charm from Treasure Island Jewelry (thank you to Gil, who found one by accident).
Asako Kawahara can sell you a pumpkin wearing a hat. But this is no ordinary pumpkin - it's one of Asahara's Angel Pumpkins, and has incredible powers.
Two women who had been willing but unable to have babies after marriages of eight and 11 years respectively suddenly fall pregnant. Another woman plagued by repeated miscarriages desperately wants a child, but still can't get through a pregnancy after four years of marriage. But two months after getting anAngel Pumpkin,she gets pregnant, carries the child to term and is delighted!...
When I gave a woman having trouble getting along with others and struggling to overcome a failed relationship, it went rotten within a week. But that was when things seemed to pick up for the woman. She thanked me, saying, 'All the horrible things in my life seemed to have been passed on to the pumpkin,Kawahara recalls for Flash.Another bachelor who really hated being around people got one of my pumpkins and his life turned for the better. He became a different man, trying his hand at whatever challenge was thrust up before him.
Alas, the link given by the Mainichi Daily News is broken, so you will have to search hard to find where to buy your special vegetable.
Today's bargain is something Charlie will be in two minds over receiving for his 40th birthday today, for the Shmaltz Brewing Company is an American micro with a difference - they specialise in crafting quality beer and quality shtick for the Jewish community and beyond
. They produce two ales, labelled He'brew - the Chosen Beer
: Genesis Ale was, unsurprisingly, their first creation.
Crisp, smooth and perfectly balanced between a west coast style pale and amber ale, with a supple malt sweetness and a pronounced hop flourish.
More Prattle-worthy is Messiah Bold It's the Beer You've Been Waiting For!
, a nut-brown ale. Thanks to Moshe Feder, I can assure my readers that this is a rather fine beer, dark and complex, if a touch sweet.
All beers are certified to the strictest Orthodox standards.
The folk at Jewish Bazaar have thought of everything, and stock of whole range of car mezuzot (scroll down a bit). So, if you are a homeless Jew reduced to living in your car, or a Jewish New Age Traveller, you know where to go.
United States: Admittedly not as scary as the heart on the outside Jesus nightlight, but this little item is pretty creepy.
I should point out that Feòrag's filter of scary eBay auctions can be quite distubing at times.
I have up for bid a wonderful clock for a child's room. Two children praying. The face lights up (can turn off or on). It has God Bless My Family on the front. There is a sleep on button, alarm on and off button. You can set it for English or Spanish, wake to speech (goodnight prayer, the lord's prayer), bell or melody. You can also set it for automatic hourly chime. Also has lo, high or med volume. It is made of hard durable plastic. Measures 7 1/2 inches tall and 8 1/2 inches wide. There is a place in the back for an AC adaptor, but I don't have that. I put in new batteries and it keeps perfect time and works great. If you are the lucky winning buyer, please go through checkout and shipping will be calculated for you. Wt. is 1 pound. Christmas will soon be here, so please visit my store for many new items and much, much more. Thanks for looking.
I'm particularly attracted to the clock being made from hard durable plastic
. So you know that no matter how hard your child tries to destroy the horrible looking thing, you can just dig it out of the compost heap or fish it out of the toilet, wash it off and it will still be happily ticking away to torture you child for another day.
PRAYING CHILDREN TALKING CLOCK-WORKS GREAT!! - eBay, 1 October 2004.
United States: A car which once belonged to David Koresh is expected to fetch $60,000 at an auction in Texas this weekend.
The black souped up Chevy Camaro owned by Branch Davidian leader David Koresh will be sold as is, complete with damage it suffered when it was run over by an FBI tank as the cult's compound near Waco burned around it on April 19, 1993.
This is the car that he drove every day between the compound and downtown Waco, it's still titled in David Koresh's name,auctioneer Daniel Kruse of Kruse International told 1200 WOAI news.
Kruse identified the car as a 1968 Chevy Camaro two door, four speed, 500 horsepower car, with the wordsDAVID'S 427 GO GODstamped on the engine block. 427 is a reference to the car's 427 c.i. engine.
Koresh's Car to be Sold - WOAI San Antonio News, 23rd September 2004.
You are a Christian who celebrates the (pagan) Winter Solstice by putting up a (pagan) tree and decorating it with (pagan) ornaments representing the return of the sun. Before you engage in (pagan) feasting, why not try to pretend it's really a Christian festival by adding this SET OF 6 ASSORTED CROSS WATERGLOBE ORNAMENTS to the solar and fertility symbols on your tree?
READY FOR CHRISTMAS - NEW IN BOX - These ornaments are highly decorative and distinctive.
Each waterglobe features an embossed design base accented with assorted color jewels and a jeweled cross at the center of each globe.
Ornaments measure 1 5/8" diameter x 2 5/8" high and include ribbon for hanging
By International Silver Company
Remember the mantra Reduce, reuse, recycle
? Well, the Yarmulke Bra is an interesting application of the second part of that:
Inspired by the MC Paul Barman lyric,I couldn't stay calm because/ she revealed a bra made of two yarmulkes,designer KS turns the fantasy into a reality.
All bras are one of a kind. The Yarmulkes themselves are imported from Israel and are individual works of art. Available in three styles: Bat-mitzvah(S/M sizes), Boobooshka(L size) and Sports(M/L sizes).
Customers interested in bras made from their vintage bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah yarmulkes, may contact us directly...
Strangely, they are all sold out. Perhaps I should file this under Intentional Humour
instead... (via Everlasting Blort).
If yesterday's bargain isn't your style, perhaps you will find somthing more to your liking in ANGELA'S MAGICAL FENG SHUI HOUSE. For example, there's this HUGE DRAGON FENG SHUI SAILING SHIP over 2 ft wood. For BUSsINESS LUCK - WITH REAL GOLD & much more:
Beautifully carved feng shui dragon sailing ship
FENG SHUI MUST HAVE IF YOU HAVE A BUSINESS AND WISH TO ATTRACT FENG SHUI WEALTH
THE SHIP IS DETAILED WITH CARVED DRAGONS, CABIN, SAILS, RIGGING ETC ALL THAT YOU WOULD EXPECT TO FIND
THIS SHIP RETAILS FOR $200.00 + IN STORES
50% OFF r.r.
bidding starts at my cost buying price
AND THIS BEAUTIFUL FENG SHUI DRAGON SAILING SHIP WILL COME TO YOU WITH FREE REAL BOTTLE OF GOLD FLAKES COINS AND CRYSTALS TO ASSIST IN FENG SHUI WEALTH MAGIC
OVER 2 FT LONG AND NEARLY 3 FEET TALL WHEN SET UP
GENUINE FENG SHUI PRODUCT
Don't forget, If you have several businesses on the go you should obtain a ship for each.
Feeling skint? A little short of cash? Well, as long as you can scrape together $45 (US), this Wealth Energy Attracting Kubera Yantra could help!
The Kubera Yantra is a very powerful, ancient sacred geometrical inscription on a copper plate. It is for invoking Lord Kubera, the Hindu cum Tibetan god of wealth and prosperity. It blesses the individual with sudden luck, wealth and prosperity.
This Yantra is used as a tool to attract the cosmic wealth energy, accumulation of riches, increase cash flow at home, etc. It opens up avenues for new sources of income.Worship of this Yantra is also recommended for superb growth in business, career & profession as well as increase in personal income & abundance.
Kubera yantra can be simply placed in safes, drawer, cash box, praying altar or any place where money is kept and can be worshipped without any special prayers or rituals by all races.
Such a remarkable device! But how does it work?
A Yantra works like a communicator between you and the universal forces, cosmic energies and gods. When a Mantra is chanted, the sound vibrations from the chanter's voice is first drawn onto the Yantra, from there it is reflected and transmitted out into the universe where it reaches the concerned God. The same vibration then gathers divine powers and blessings from him and returns back to the Yantra and again reflected back to the person who chanted the Mantra, thus instilling divinity into him and fulfilling his wishes. It's a guaranteed way of your prayers being heard, according to ancient Hindu scriptures.
Is the central axis of your being feeling lousy? Vital energies lacking? Why splash out on a relaxing holiday when, for a mere $49.99 (US), you can have a Complete Chakra Cleansing Kit instead?
This kit is designed for those of you working to balance all seven major chakras. All items in this kit have been appropriately empowered/blessed,and come with easy instructions.
The kit comes packaged in a box with a cloth pouch to carry the gem stones (patterns and colors of the pouch may vary)
Chakra Kit #1 includes:
7 drams of unique essential oils blends - one for each major chakra.
7 colored inscribed candles including: 1 red, 1 orange, 1 yellow, 1 green or pink, 1 blue, 1 Violet and 1 white or light violet
7 gemstones including: 1-garnet or blood stone, 1-carnelian or moonstone, 1-citrine or amber, 1-rose quartz or emerald, 1-aquamarine or turquoise, 1- sodalite or lapis and 1- amethyst or crystal
Plus easy to use instructions.
Someone has sullied the classic lines of a Maglite, and you can now bid on this CHRISTIAN MAGLITE - MINIATURE FLASHLIGHT:
Here's a super neat gift for the Christian believer. We had these made up for a special promotion...and decided to offer the few remaining ones here on eBay.
It's a genuine MAG-LITE penlight withJesus is the Light of the Worldon the barrel. It comes in a compact, latching carrying case with Energizer battery and a key-type lanyard that fastens onto the end of the barrel. This the the MAG-LITE SOLITARE, made in the USA, This is a brand new item. MAG-LITE has been an icon for flashlight quality since their inception. As a gift, this is REAL QUALITY.
Surely if Jesus really was the Light of the World
, a torch would be utterly unnecessary?
While clearing out my spam filters, my attention was caught by the words HEAVEN INSURANCE - NOW AVAILABLE - FOR THE FIRST TIME! . The web-bug-laden HTML message was fortunately unreadable on my machine, but appears to be identical to the web site:
I don't know about you, but I definitely want to go to Heaven. I live my life according to God's will and like many of us, I'm not perfect. I'm not sure if going to church is enough and figured that my family and friends could use a little extra help. Heaven Insurance* will provide that help. That's why we created this certificate and it is already helping people all over the world!
For only $19.95 you can buy an insurance policy that will INSURE* your loved one's entrance into
God's Kingdom.
Your Heaven Insurance* certificate will remind and encourage your loved ones to keep their spirit true.
It will consistently remind them to work toward and remain on the path to better living and to take comfort in the ways and security that faith in The Lord provides.
The Certificate Says:To guarantee that the aforementioned individual shall go to Heaven at the end of their life on earth.It also contains a beautiful and important quote from Psalms 145:18 which statesThe Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him sincerely.
See all those asterisks? You didn't think that spamming bastards would actually offer a legitimate product, did you? No, this attempt to sell expensive pieces of paper to the insecure is a gift/novelty item and is not an actual insurance policy. It is intended strictly as an artistic novelty designed to remind and encourage those with a true spirit to work toward and remain on the path to better living and to take comfort in the ways and security that faith in the lord [sic.] provides
. And not a money-making scam. A similar attempt to fleece the gullible is this Ticket To Heaven we featured back in 2002.
If your herbal tea is not sufficiently pure and holy, enhance it with this Tea Bag Tag with Cross dangle- semiprecious stones:
Tea bag tags add grace and charm to the traditionally awkward task of manipulating a tagless tea bag. This is a one-of-a-kind item, there is no other one exactly like it.
The clip measures approximately 1.1 inches in length, and is attached to thependantby means of a split ring (a micro-version of a key ring). The pendant part is about 1.8 inches long, and includes six nickel-plated metal beads (3 mm diameter), two 8-mm limestone beads, and one oblong mother-of-pearl bead, which is approximately 10 mm long and 4 mm wide.
The pendant is formed on a wire to provide some stiffness (so you can hold it like a little toothpick). The howlite cross is a separate piece that dangles below.
I like this item because I'm one of those people who drinks tea made with tagless tea bags, and I get weary of trying to fish the teabag out of the cup using a spoon or a straw...the teabag tag works much better.
If you know someone else who has this dilemma, then this will be perfect gift item.
Christians can now be reminded of their faith every time they break their religion with a credit card bearing the three Calvary crosses.
Family Christian Stores nationwide are offering the new Mastercard with an image some Christians say their master wouldn't approve being on a charge card. Stone says she's heard a few comments both positive and negative from her customers.
There are some people who say that they don't think it's right for us to issue credit cards to go into debt. And our stand on it is we're not encouraging people to go into debt because we sell a lot of books that encourage them that if they use a credit card, to pay it off monthly.
And a customer reminded us that the United States money is unconsitutional:
Store Customer Rusty Parenteau believes all of our money came from God to begin with.I think it's a great idea, it's a great witnessing tool.In God We Trustis already printed on all American currency, and many people have Christian symbols on their checks.
Whatever happened to them being the number of the beast?
Jesus Credit Card Raises a Few Eyebrows - KCRG-TV9 News (via Religion News Blog), 4th August 2004.
![[Jesus photomosaic]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/jesus-mosaic.jpg)
Who knew that a simple computer could produce something as inspired as this Amazing Lithograph Mosaic of Jesus Christ!! Made up of over 1500 inspirational photos!!!!
? Obviously, the vendor credits the Lord
, rather than Steve Jobs, for the automatically-generated masterpiece known as The Believe Print
, and claims it has special magickal powers too.
An absolutely amazing print that has been featured on National Televison and Radio Programs and brings strength to all who own it.
One of the most beautiful pieces of art of our Lord Jesus Christ ever produced, TheBelievePrint is a Limited Edition 18 X 24 lithograph print of the face of Jesus. Professionally printed on a gorgeous lithograph type stock, this print from a distance appears to be an INCREDIBLY sharp fine art black and white print of Jesus. BUT, when you get up close to it, you will notice that the print is ACTUALLY MADE UP OF OVER 1500 SMALLER EASILY VISABLE CRYSTAL CLEAR *FULL COLOR* Religious, inspirational and nature images. Thats right. FULL COLOR smaller images make up this incredible BLACK AND WHITE print! Over 7000 prints have been sold to date and there is a limited printing of 10,000 worldwide. It has to be seen to be believed! This item makes a fantastic gift for those special people in your life who are going through a tough time right now, or just appreciate the power of The Lord.
*Scans in no way represent the quality of this item. These are LOW resolution scans just to give you an idea of how amazing this item is. The smaller images are CRYSTAL CLEAR IN VIVID COLOR* Good Luck on this AMAZING nationally known print.
Strangely, the power of The Lord
is not credited in the seller's other auctions for similar prints featuring the likes of Britney Spears.
The neopagans of today are apparently not as magickally adept as the pioneers of their faith, and are not capable of just doing it
with their outstretched forefinger. These days, it seems, a Wicca/wiccan portable ritual kit is a must, to ensure that the modern witch has just the right gadgets at all times:
Her is an interesting piece we developed to overcome the problems of the travelling Pagan. We developed a kit that can be easily dis assembled, and folded into a soft roll a little more than eight inche long and five inches in diameter so that you have no reason to miss another full moon or sabbat again. This kit includes a 7 inch athame, a pentacle cloth, sealed chalace, an incense burner for cones, and five hand painted candle placements, with the Alchemical symbols painted into the face. Each piece comes with a sewn pouch, and to start it all, we include the candles and the incense! The kit is ready for consecration, all you need to supply is your book of shadows, and the wine for the chalice. The Mini chalice is sealable, so that you may prepare the kit before travel, that way there is no need to fumble around for a fragile wine bottle. A one page destruction sheet is also supplied to show the symbols and placements.
The knife means it has to go in checked luggage though.
![[Buddah rubber duckie]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/buddha-duck.jpg)
More ironic commentary than serious religious tat, this Buddha Celebriduck should bring serenity to any bathtime.
This is a one of a kind collectible item. The Buddha Duck is hand painted and individually numbered. There are only 1500 available. They are made out of a non-toxic material. They make a great present and will be a wonderful addition to your tub, spa or pond. They were made in gratitude for my closest friend's recovery from cancer.
Fossils are a complete pain, what with them giving credence to that satanic evolutionist conspiracy and all. Obviously they can't possibly be evidence of life on Earth from before God created it, so they must be something else. How does MOUNT SINAI STONE WITH IMPRINTS OF THE BURNING BUSH sound?
Have you EVER seen A Holy GRANITE STONE from MOUNT SINAI with REAL PATCHES of
THE BURNING BUSHNATURALLY IMPRINTED on it,with the passing of CENTURIES?
WE GUESS NOT,UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN A PILGRIM TO MOUNT SINAI,AND,VISITED THE HOLY MONASTERY OF Saint CATHERINE.
The Holy Monastery which had been established during the 6th Century by Emperor JUSTINIAN of THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE.The Holy Monastery that NEVER interrupted its Mission to the GLORY of OUR LORD.
Originally calledTHE HOLY MONASTERY OF THE TRANSFIGURATION OF OUR LORD,having changed its name toTHE HOLY MONASTERY OF Saint CATHERINE,in the 8th Century,after the Holy Relics of Saint Catherine were found on Mount Sinai.
We are herewith listing a Granite Holy Stone from Mount SINAI,with IMPRINTS,GROWN in them,of THE BURNING BUSH...
...Can you resist in acquiring one such HOLY stone,that dates back about 3,000 years?...
...NO SUCH ITEMS EXIST ANYWHERE ON EBAY,or,ON ANY OTHER AUCTIONS COMPANY.
WE ARE BLESSED BY HOLY MONASTERIES TO CARRY THE RAREST HOLY ITEMS IN THE WORLD.
Dimensions of these Holy Rocks with leaves of The Burning Bush vary.
The one we,herewith present is:4.00" Length X 3.00" Height.
A Holy,Blessed,and,Miraculous Ribbon of The Girdle of OUR VIRGIN will accompany this Most Holy Stone,as,A GIFT TO THE SUCCESFUL BIDDER.
BID ON IT AND ACQUIRE A MOST RARE HOLY STONE.
VIEW THE LEAVES OF THE BURNING BUSH.
ALL HOLY ITEMS AND HOLY ICONS WE PRESENT ARE BLESSED AND CONSECRATED WITH HOLY WATER.
What a tasteful testimony to someone who has passed on - a battery-operated solar powered cemetery cross:
This lasting memorial is designed to fit in the vase at graveside for a gentle reminder of the love felt for that person.
A warm glowing light will illuminate the grave each night and give the grieving family comfort in knowing their loved one is not forgotten.
The durable maintenance free cross is made of weather resistant acrylic. It stands 14" tall (not including the ground mount) 10" wide and 3" in depth. The special solar cell allows for the batteries (included) to be recharged everyday.
The light isn't all that eternal though, so don't expect it to do much illuminating of long winter nights:
The Eternal Light Cross will illuminate for 5 hours or more depending on the time of year and amount of sunlight.
Each Eternal Light Cross comes with a one year warranty and a theft replacement offer.
Want to create a relaxing environment? Craig & Rose have produced just the thing - a range of Feng Shui paints. As an example, the Crystal Pearl paint
is ideal for introducing Feng Shui into your home or garden. Use on woodwork, furniture, accessories, walls or radiators to enhance your surroundings, and create a beautiful and washable surface. Allow Heaven's Chi (energy) to flow freely by using Crystal Pearl Paint: Its pearlescent surface will reflect Chi and help bring prosperity, health and happy living.
And, should you get stuck, there is always the 9 Star Ki chart for inspiration.
Each of these five elements are associated with certain colour groupings, so once you have identified your ruling element you can use this as a guide as to which colours are likely to enhance harmony in your home, and encourage peace and happiness for you, as well as which colours you are better to avoid as they may disrupt the flow of Chi energy around your home.
![[Virgin Mary lamp base]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/virgin-lamp.jpg)
This THE VIRGIN MARY STATUE TABLE LAMP with its DOME GLASS ARTISTIC DESIGNE
is another example of tasteful home decoration:
HAVE HERE A VIRGIN MARY STATUE TABLE LAMP. 60 WATT LIGHT, EXCELLENT CONDITION, ROUND PLASTIC BASE, HEAVY GLASS DOME COVER.GOLD TRIM AND FLORAL DESIGN.MEASUREMENTS ARE 18" TALL BY ABOUT 9" WIDE IT WIEGHS ABOUT 10 LBS . VERY CLEAN HARDLY USED. I HOPE THE PHOTOS CAN SPEAK FOR ITS SELF.
Does this Inspiration light-up cross pen help you create illuminated manuscripts?
This auction is for some Inspirational Light-Up Pens. I have five in each color of these beautiful cross pens. These pens glow their respective colors of blue or pink when you write. The batteries come with and already are in the pens so there is no hassle with batteries. There is also a cap to the pen end. The crosses on them have the raised 'pyramid' or 'quilted' effect. They are approximately five inches long and would make a perfect gift for someone who is graduating this year or anyone religious really. Just let me know after you win how many you want and what color and I will do my best.
I'm not quite sure what blueking234 is trying to sell us in this eBay auction for Encryption Decoder Device, Breached Internet Security 666 = Internet dismantiling = Novus Ordo Seclorum
Deut 3: 11 + Chad Gad Ya = Exodus 3.14 = 1492 Columbus discovers America
Revelation 13
Prime #s = numerical progression in non discernible pattern
Numerical non-discernible pattern = undecipherable encryption (based on prime #s)
Undecipherable Encryption = un-breach able security system PC/Server w/Internet WWW. = world financial markets/ Wall Street and banking, global positioning satellites, ATMs, credit card billing, utilities and their billing, flight travel, ship routing, police court and DMV records, government office communications including military, radio microwave radar satellite communications, even the big red button.
Decoder of PC encryption = Prime # progression pattern digital function
Prime # Progression Pattern = Enigma Cipher PrimeWay
Enigma Cipher PrimeWay =
12 22 32 52 72 112 132 172 192 232 292 372 ... etc.
1 4 9 25 49 121 169 289 361 529 841 1369 ...etc
p = 3.14925491211692893615298411369�
true precision Pi decimals
1a1 7a49 13a169 37a1369
Progressive whole number square roots are progressively greater prime numbers add finitum down the Pi decimal digit places. (The true precision Pi calculation that is.)
Software Update- Handheld scientific calculators with their flyspeck memory capacities can scroll the true precision Pi decimal place calculation to a few dozen decimal places. But this same program installed onto a PC can calculate infinite Pi indefinitely, pre-listing the whole square of an ever-increasing prime number. Graft piggyback onto this ever-advancing Pi calculation, a square root analyzer, sampling the pre-listed ever-advancing decimal numeral for whole square roots. These whole number square roots are the next size prime number in an infinite progression. Ipso facto, prime # progression digital function.
Enigma Cipher PrimeWay = Prime # progression pattern digital function
Prime # progression pattern digital function = Decoder of PC encryption (all!)
Decoder of PC encryption = BREACHED security system PC/Server w/Internet WWW. = world financial markets/ Wall Street and banking, global positioning satellites, ATMs, credit card billing, utilities and their billing, flight travel, ship routing, police court and DMV records, government office communications including military, radio microwave radar satellite communications, even the big red button.
Breached PC security system = Internet dismantling = Novus Ordo Seclorum
4 + 9 + 25 + 49 + 121 + 169 + 289 = 666 3.1492549121169289 Seven of Nine
Launch confirmed � T minus and counting�
Right. Current price? $1.01.
Inspired Woods of the Bible offer what they describe as Unique, Meaningful, Christian Gifts
.
At Inspired Woods: Of The Bible we offer high quality, hand-crafted, Christian gifts that are made in the U.S.A. using woods that are mentioned in the Bible.
Items such as pens, keyrings, pens, magnifying glasses, pens, bookmarks and more pens.
And while explaining what inspired them to do this, they remind us of the hypocrisy of certain televangelists who accuse Muslims of being more committed to their religion than their country:
In Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, he introduces the idea of aspiritual green cardand that Christians should carry one to remind them that their true citizenship is in heaven:
For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ - Philippians 3:20 (NASB)
It is from this thought that these products have been made and Inspired Woods: Of The Bible was born. These items make wonderful Christian or religious gifts for any occasion,
Feeling a little under the weather? Out of sorts? Terminally ill? Well, all you need to do is put this magic spell MIRACULOUS PRAYER FOR THE SICK cassette in your walkthing, and soon you will be right as rain.
60 MINUTES OF WORSHIP AND PRAYER FOR THE SICK.
NO MATTER WHAT YOUR NEED IS, YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR MIRACLE FROM GOD!
CANCER?, DEPRESSION?, ARTHRITIS?, DEBT?, LONLINESS?, LOSS, GRIEF?, JUST TO NAME A FEW... YOU CAN BE WELL! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH SICKNESS OR DISEASE! PURCHASE THIS CASSETTE AND SHARE IT WITH OTHERS!POWER PACKED PRAYER!TESTIMONIES OF MIRACLES HAVE BEEN RECEIVED! CANCER HEALED! KIDNEYS HEALED! FINANCIAL BREAKTHROUGHS! FAMILIES RESTORED! BLOOD DISORDERS CLEARED UP! AND THE LIST IS GROWING... IT IS NOT DUE TO ANYTHING WE ARE DOING. IT IS THEPOWER OF GODMOVING UPON PEOPLE!!! 60 MINUTES OF WORSHIP AND PRAYER-LISTEN TO IT DAILY-SHARE IT!
A simple medical device might not seem to qualify as a Bargain of the Day, but the SmartKlamp website comes in four languages - English, Arabic, Turkish and Bahassa, and is full of pictures of happy Asian boys, suggesting that a Muslim customer would be particularly interested in the device - a new, one time use only, circumcision tool, which is designed to create, a safer, faster, and smarter way to perform circumcisions
. Plus, it requires the foreskin to be pulled back, which would be completely impossible if the device was being used for the traditional treatment of phimosis. (via Gizmodo, who came up with the much funnier name Bris-O-Matic.)
Mac users - fed up that most games developers either don't want your money at all, or think you have the patience to wait several years before giving it to them? Well, never fear Digital Praise understands, and their two new games will be available for both your favourite computer, and bug-ridden virus spreaders in the autumn. One problem: the company mission statement reads To glorify God through the development of software for children, teenagers and families that spreads the gospel of Jesus Christ while entertaining, enlightening and encouraging faith.
. They claim their games will foster cooperation, forgiveness, tolerance and kindness
, which is somewhat odd, given the company's rather cosy relationship with homophbic hate group Focus on the Family. It's first two games are based on their Adventures in Odyssey radio programme (and I bet that isn't a dramatisation of homoerotic Greek myths), and they will be sharing the Focus on the Family booth at a forthcoming trade show. (via MacCentral)
My Prayer Bear is yet another gadget designed to ease the brainwashing of innocent children.
Developed for families of all faiths, this cuddly little prayer bear encourages children to say their prayers. Soft and reassuring, the bear will become a constant friend anc companion. Five bibs hold specially selected prayers for every part of life: *When I Eat *When I Play *When I am Sad *When I Sleep *When I Wake
By: Pockets of Learning
Size: 11"
Comments: 2 years and up
Educational Highlights: Children can learn to recite these prayers using pictures as visual clues * Encourages interaction between child and adult - reading prayers before bedtime * Rhyming will also encourage child to remember andreadthe prayers aloud
This spectacular contemporary rococco Saint Guadalupe Quartz Clock can only enhance your living room with its sleek, modern lines:
Intricately hand painted statue and monument of Saint Guadalupe with Quartz Clock. Made of heavy cast resin with Arabic numerals. Stands 12" tall Uses 1 AA battery. (not included)
Help your child grow up into a young thug by giving them plastic weapons to bash their mates with. No, that can't be right, you see this Full Armor Of God Child Play Set is A Christian Character-Building Costume
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Play and learn about God's protection for Spiritual Battle. Complete set based on Ephesians 6:13-18, for ages 3 and up. Each item is made of molded, flexible plastic designed to fit most children. Adjustable straps and velcro allow children to wear certain pieces. Each item is labeled in order to recall God's Word. The set includes: The Sword of the Spirit, the Helmet of Salvation, the breastplate of Righteousness, the Belt of Truth, the Shield of Faith, the Gospel of Peace Shin Guards, and a Parent-Teacher Guide with suggested activities and scripture verses. Box may have some wear do to shipping, but the contents are in perfect condition.
Bet the little brats just go out and play soldiers in it.
Europe: There are European companies that specialise in camouflaged mobile masts and antennae, as a panacaea to those that find the things eyesores. One firm is now manufacturing an antenna disguised as a crucifix, intended to go on the steeples of churches. Get your creepy Jesus mobile antenna now!
European companies are finding ingenious ways to disguise ugly, but necessary, mobile phone antenna masts. Customers can pick everything from trees to crucifixes.Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Creepy Jesus Antenna"
It's rare for Neopagans to be marketed at - the Pagan Pound just doesn't have the buying power of a Pink one. But where there's a niche, there's someone willing to sell into it. Take Rhiannon's Realm: Celtic Mahjong Solitaire, for example, or more precisely, the blurb:
The first release by Evil Genius Games, Rhiannon's Realm is a Celtic take on the classic mahjong solitaire game. Tackle more than 65 challenging levels of stunning Celtic-themed artwork, to save the seasons of the year from an evil spell. Take your pick of 13 beautiful images to use as desktop wallpaper.
In its favour, it's quite pretty, and available for Mac OS X 10.2 or higher as well as various Windows.
No dungeon could possibly be complete without this charming Crystal with Cross embedded inside with Lights:
Crystal Cube comes with small platform. Platform shines flashing lights through crystal making the Jesus on the Cross embedded in the crystal cube come to life. Makes a very great gift. Bidding starts at one penny.
How could you possibly live without this musical ceramic holy bible?
This piece is absolutely beautiful. It's the holy bible displaying a nativity scene of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus sitting on top of the bible. The Shepard in the front winds up to play the music box that plays away in the manger. It stands 10 inches high and 12 inches wide. This item is in perfect condition with no chips or cracks that I can see. The picture does not do this justice. Would be wonderful to display at Christmas time or any time.
Hurry - you have only three hours or so to buy this Lot of 45,000 wigs (shaitels) new&used perfect condtion, though I suspect the seller is extracting the urine somewhat:
Stock of 45,000 beautiful wigs. Wigs have never been used other than as tools in mild forms of pagan worship, unconventional Indian religious rituals and mild usage in ulra-orthodox Jewish circles. Seller takes no responsibility for any injuries, damage, harm or detriment that may result due to the presence of satanic or modern-orthodox spirits hovering in or around the wigs. These wigs are easy to care for and require nothing more than semiannual cleansing in unfiltered New York City water. Items are currently being stored at a secret undisclosed location and will be shipped via Moishe's moving company upon receipt of payment. Cash STRONGLY preferred. all styles, long, short, hat-falls, falls...full color selection!
The following information was added later:
These high-quality wigs were originally purchased for $1000-4500 each and were sold to us as part of a religious reclamation campaign. Seller would consider bartering wigs for a similar size lot of hats.
![[Non-violent, my arse!]](http://www.prattle.net/prattlepix/biblehangman.png)
