2009 looks like a quiet year in terms of the end of the world, with many of the predictions merely being the usual suspects revising their dates yet again.
Continue reading "Annual end-of-the world post 2009"Englandshire: Dr. Who fans could find themselves a bargain as the memorabilia collection of Simon White goes on sale after he swapped science fiction for fantasy.
The collection, which Mr White estimates is worth nearly £7,000, was built up over a number of years but is to be cast aside because of his religious beliefs.
Dr Who and his materialistic obsession with it represents thegreatest lie that Satan ever toldaccording to Mr White...
He said:God delivered me from the evil that is Dr Who.
Don't offer too much now. We wouldn't want to reward him for his sinfulness now, would we?
Dr Who Tardis on sale on eBay—Wiltshire Times and Chippenham News, 21st March 2008.
Canada/Ireland: A Toronto-Heathrow flight had to be diverted to Shannon, Ireland, after the First Officer apparently suffered some kind of breakdown.
A passenger said the pilot was carried from the plane shouting and swearing, saying he wanted to talkto God....
He was very, very distraught. He was yelling loudly at times,he told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.
He was swearing and asking for God and very distressed. He basically said he wanted to talk to God.
Good job it wasn't a dark-skinned passenger yelling about his imaginary friend.
Pilot 'breakdown' diverts flight—BBC News, 30th January 2008.
So, none of last year's predictions concerning the end of the world have come true. Nor has there been any sign of Jesus. This, of course, will not stop the prophets of doom. So, what can we expect in 2008?
Continue reading "Annual end-of-the-world post 2008"Two recent stories have highlighted the extremes to which people will go to rid themselves of their imaginary enemies.
New Zealand: A woman was drowned by her relatives in an attempt to rid her of a curse.
Janet Moses, a mother of two, was held under water in an attempt to drive away a makutu, or Maori curse. Containers holding anextensive amountof water were brought into the lounge of the house, in Wellington, for the ceremony...
The exorcism ritual was held because the woman's relatives believed a curse had been put on her after another member of her family stole a taonga, meaning treasured artefact, belonging to someone else.
India: A man has married a dog to help rid himself of a curse he believes he brought upon himself by stoning two other dogs to death.
Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely,the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.
He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.
“On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch.
One wonders if such marriages are consummated.
Woman drowns during exorcism ceremony—The Guardian, 12th November 2007; Man marries bitch to beat curse—BBC News, 13th November 2007.
The courts have been busy today, it seems.
Scotland: Police attended a séance in an attempt to find the killer of a Dundee woman in 1980. Fortunately, they didn't take it seriously.
Mr Robertson, who was a detective constable at the time, said there had been subdued lighting.
The officers had held hands, although not in anaffectionateway.
I can recollect, possibly, at some time the woman was induced through some form of hypnosis to go to a spirit guide who took her to another area,he said.
The medium then gave information which he did not think had any bearing on the case.
I can say it was never considered to be a serious line of inquiry,added Mr Robertson.
He said the séance did not last long because the woman was unable to continue hercharade.
Spain: God, it seems, has taken time off from worrying about pooves, and returned to His old trick of telling people to kill one another. In this case, He told a British man to kill and eat his girlfriend:
Following his arrest in 2004, Durant wrote to a British newspaper from his prison cell in Spain, saying that he had been driven to kill and eat Durrell by messages delivered to him by God via his television.
After I killed her I cut her body into small parts, eating what part of her I found eatable. I finally disposed of what was left in small rubbish bags around Calpe,he wrote.
My mental state was breaking down at this stage. I believed God had delivered her to me and I was getting messages from the telly.
Durant admitted manslaughter, and also told the court he had killed two people in the UK, including a man he claims abused him as a child. God's role in these killings was not explained.
Woods murder police 'held séance'—BBC News, 8th November 2007; British man faces jail over 'message from God' killing—The Guardian, 8th November 2007.
United States: Yet another animal shelter falls victim to the annual urban myth about black cats being adopted for sacrifice at Hallowe'en and has sentenced the poor animals to another month of misery.
Hillside SPCA, Pottsville, prohibits adoptions of black cats now to Nov. 2, fearing the animals could be mistreated in Halloween pranks or worse, be sacrificed in sadistic or occult rituals.
We put a sign up during the month of October prohibiting adoptions,said Sylvia Nabholz, a volunteer and board member with the nonprofit animal shelter off the Gordon Nagle Trail, Route 901.
Although Nabholz said she was not aware of any cruelty incidents specifically involving black cats, the temporary ban on their adoption is a precautionary measure.
...Fortunately, she said, the shelter has not noticed an increase in adoption rates of black cats in the the month before Halloween.
Hillside SPCA nixes adoptions of black cats for Halloween—The Republican and Herald, 15th October 2007. See also Hoary old chestnut—The Prattle, 25th October 2002; Hoary old chestnut campaigns for vote.—The Prattle, 26th October 2003; Warm black pussies.—The Prattle, 30th October 2003; That time of year again—The Prattle, 31st October 2006.
England: A group of British Wiccans have pressurised the owners of Highcross Quarter to change the name of their shopping centre to something else because it sounds a bit like a neopagan holiday-- presumably one of the even-more-invented ones found in fundie dossiers on the occult.
It was our only wish all along, to be left in peace to develop our Web site and maintain the aspirations for faith and of our simple way of life,said the group's spokeswoman, who gave her name as Morrigan Wisecraft.
Of course, the easiest way to be left alone is not to be a media whore and whine publicly about perceived slights that actually have bugger all to do with your recently made-up religion (as opposed to religions that were made up some time ago), and everything to do with getting your name in the papers.
Witches happy over shopping centre—Metro, 24th July 2007.
United Kingdom: Britian's neopagans are upset again. First of all it was Trinny and Susannah daring to change the sex of the Long Man of Wilmington, and now they're upset that a figure of Homer Simpson has been painted in biodegradable paint in the vicinity of another 400-year old cartoon, the Cerne Abbas Giant.
It's not King Kevin complaining, either, but the middle class ladies of the Pagan Federation. And, just like the Mohammed cartoon protesters, they're making threats and promising to get their imaginary friend to fix the problem.
Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said:We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind.
“We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away.
Well, that should solve the problem of heavy rains and flooding in England. It's enough to make you want to turn the Long Man of Wilmington into a depiction of the Prophet Mohammed.
Wish for rain to wash away Homer—BBC News, 16th July 2007
Update: This image by HappyToast at B3ta is glorious:
Further update: The Grauniad is running a caption competition.
England: A doctor who prescribed Christian exorcism for a Muslim patient has been found guilty of professional misconduct and banned from practising medicine for six months.
'Exorcist' doctor is banned—The Sun, 12th July 2007. See also Pratt-fall—Pagan Prattle, 9th July 2007 and Alternative medicine—Pagan Prattle, 8th November 2006.
England: Last November, we brought you the tale of Dr. Joyce Pratt, summonsed before a General Medical Council Fitness to Practice hearing to account for her unusual methods of treatment. Despite claiming to be a visionary, she also claimed to have not got the letters and was therefore unaware of the hearing. She did not turn up. For some reason, possibly this one, that hearing collapsed and a new one was scheduled.
The new hearing is now being held, and the press are reporting more details. It turns out that the patient for whom she prescribed a Christian exorcism is Muslim.
The story repeats the "visionary" claims and quotes extensively from the patient's statement. It seems Dr. Pratt told the patient that her recent trip to Asia had put her under the influence of evil spirits.
In her statement to the panel, Mrs K said the doctor had told her normal medicine would not help her pain and bleeding...
She then said that there was black magic inside.She continued:Dr Pratt said that the bleeding was because of something inside my stomach and that there is nothing that a doctor can do medically, but that she had the power to help.
”She said she didn't have the total power but there is a priest at Westminster Cathedral on Friday and Saturday nights after 9pm at night who would put their hands on my stomach and make it go away.
Mrs K said she had believed Dr Pratt could help her and drank theholy waterbecause she seemed to know private things about her family which very few people knew.
The doctor wrote her mobile number on a piece of paper and some lines from the bible and gave it to her, Mrs K said.
Mrs K left the clinicbewilderedand carrying the crosses and stones, the panel heard.
This time, Dr. Pratt has refused to turn up and also any representation. The panel is expected to retire to consider its verdict tomorrow.
Family planning doctor 'prescribed exorcism' for bewildered patient—The Daily Mail, 9th July 2007.
Kenya: Politicians were among those protesting the arrest of a witchdoctor in Coast Province. Mr Rashid Salim apparantly offered advice and protection
to several of them, and they now fear losing their seats. Salim has been charged with possessing dangerous items, but the news reports don't mention any guns, knives, poisons or anything like that—just a load of useless tat.
Among the items recovered from the witchdoctor's home were horns, bottles of coloured water, herbs, gourds, bracelets and chains.
One of his politician customers defended him:
A Kanu parliamentary aspirant denounced the arrest of theharmless old man.
He confirmed he had sought his release, saying Salim has helped many people overcome work, health and love related problems...
In every house of a Digo, you will not miss paraphernalia used for protection. Salim has never harmed anybody,he said.
Witchdoctor defended—The Standard, 29th May 2007.
Poland: It seems that Jerry Falwell is not dead after all—he just moved to Europe and had a sex-change.
A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether the popular BBC TV show Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle.
The spokesperson for children's rights in Poland, Ewa Sowinska, singled out Tinky Winky, the purple character with a triangular aerial on his head.
I noticed he was carrying a woman's handbag,she told a magazine.At first, I didn't realise he was a boy.
According to the BBC, most Poles are joking about her comments. One radio station even had a phone-in to determine the most suspicious
children's characters.
Poland targets 'gay' Teletubbies—BBC News, 28th May 2007.
Turkey: Greenpeace are sending out a strong message that climate change is a myth, just like the Biblical flood. Of course, they don't see it that way, but what other conclusion can you draw from their building a Noah's Ark on Mount Ararat? That flood was just a story, after all.
Noah's Ark rebuilt to show climate change threat—Reuters, 23rd May 2007 (via Pharyngula).
India: A pair of occult practitioners are the main suspects in the disappearance of a pair of rare owls from a zoo and, for once the police might be being reasonable in their suspicions.
A zoo official said two local occult practitioners recently offered to purchase the birds for 30,000 rupees ($A890) each, but the park refused.
It fits in with the local magical traditions too:
Owls are usually captured for black magic rituals and sorcery by a number of Jharkhand tribes. Brown fish owls are also believed to bring good luck if kept at home.
The dried flesh, beak, claws, feathers and blood are used as ingredients in black magic spells.
Black magic suspected in bird theft—News.com.au, 20th May 2007.
The Virginia Tech massacre, while not generating quite enough junk to qualify for its own Great ... Conspiracy List
, has produced some interesting insights, and fortunately the Prattle's readers are very eagle-eyed.
Red Wolf found some of Cho's rant posed on the ABC website. It was rather, well, Christian. (Uni gunman: 'I die like Jesus' )
Thanks to you I die like Jesus Christ, to inspire generations of the weak and the defenceless people,he ranted....
Just like Jesus, he criticised the rich:
He also railed against wealthy students:Your Mercedes wasn't enough, you brats? Your golden necklaces weren't enough, you snobs? Your trust fund wasn't enough? Your vodka and cognac weren't enough? All your debaucheries weren't enough? Those weren't enough to fulfil your hedonistic needs? You had everything.
And Cho reminds us of Jesus' suffering:
Do you know what it feels like to be torched alive? Do you know what it feels like to be humiliated and be impaled on a cross and left to bleed to death for your amusement? You have never felt a single ounce of pain your whole life.
Strangely, even though Cho was clearly inspired by the Bible, there have been no calls to ban that particular book.
Alan Braggins pointed out a discussion on the Fox News website: Did the Devil Make Him Do It? Fundies, of course, disturbed by Cho's Christian blathering, say Quick, let's grasp that straw!
.
Dr. Richard Roberts, president of Oral Roberts University, shouts an unequivocalYes!
Based on what I've seen in the news,Roberts said in an interview,there's no doubt that this act was Satanic in origin.
Roberts added that he doesn’'t know if it was Satanicpossessionoroppression.Possession, he said, occurs when Satan takes over a person's life, and the person's actions are dictated by demonic possession within. Roberts says he's seen this type and has seen the Devil cast out of a person.
Satanicoppression,on the other hand, isthat which comes against.It's not in a person, but is coming against them, trying to put evil thoughts in their minds,Roberts said.
He said that the evil thoughts in Satanic oppression can be fairly innocuous, or they can be harmful. And the oppression can be in the form of fear, depression or discouragement, he said, becauseSatan comes to kill, steal and destroy.
Roberts says we'll never know whether Cho waspossessedoroppressed,because the killer has died. But he did leave a note blasting everyone around him, calling themrich kids,anddeceitful charlatans,and then blaming them, sayingyou made me do this.
I thought the name of Jesus was supposed to have power over Satan. How could he possibly have tolerated his posessee shouting it all the time?
United States: A fire marshall with 22 years service has resigned after admitting he consulted psychics while at work:
Tom Weber, a 22-year fire veteran, was put on administrative leave nine months ago after he was accused of asking an online psychic on a department computer whether he and others would be successful in getting rid of Middleton's fire chief...
Weber said he's resigning effective March 31, and denied working against Harris. But he doesn't dispute contacting psychics on department computers. A computer technician found other communications dating back three years.
One wonders if he'd have been pushed out if he'd been praying for the chief's removal, or checking online Bibles for guidance on the matter?
Everyone is entitled to their spiritual guidance,Weber said.
He said he's been interested in psychics for years.
Psychic chat drives fire marshal to quit—The Charlotte Observer, 25th March 2007.
Yemen: Riots have broken out after rumours that a French engineer might have 'desecrated' a book by throwing it on the floor with insufficient respect.
After a fight between a French engineer and another who is Yemeni, the Frenchman - to enrage the Yemeni - threw a Koran on the floor in an offensive way,a local official told AFP news agency, requesting anonymity.
The response of the locals suggest they are probably incapable of reading any book:
Hundreds of rioting workers burnt cars and a helicopter at the French-run facility, sources told news agencies.
Unconfirmed reports say four Yemenis and a Frenchman were injured in the unrest and the engineer was evacuated.
The paper on which holy books tend to be printed makes excellent loo roll, by the way.
Koran riot grips Yemeni gas plant—BBC News, 25th March 2007.
Malawi: A witchdoctor's unconventional magic has resulted in a two year prison sentence, with hard labour.
People in Mulanje were going about their daily businesses but for two women and a 13-year-old girl all from the same family it was a morning of lifetime experiences. The three were having their pubic hair shaved with razor blades by a self proclaimed male witchdoctor who promised them the fortune of life.
One by one the three sisters were called into a bathroom a few metres away from their main house where they stripped naked before 21 year old Peter Harawara who sat there touching and shaving their private parts.
The women began to suspect something was amiss when he threatened them with death and demanded sex.
Continue reading "A close shave"Thank you spiritof1976 for introducing me to the LJ community dot_pagan_snark. Some highlights:
poured from optically pur acrylic, no caves had to die to let our Crystal Goddess Live!)
Guatemala: Mayan priests plan to ritually purify an historic sacred site to remove the bad spirits
they expect to be left by the visit of George W. Bush.
That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture,Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday....
Tiney said thespirit guides of the Mayan communitydecided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site ofbad spiritsafter Bush's visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace. He also said the rites -- which entail chanting and burning incense, herbs and candles -- would prepare the site for the third summit of Latin American Indians March 26-30.
Priests to Purify Site After Bush Visit—Washington Post, 9th March 2007 (thanks, Sister Iona Dubble-Wyde).
Serbia: A metre-long stake has been driven through the corpse of Slobodan Milosevic by vampire hunters who wanted to be sure he didn't come back, ever.
...the politically-motivated Van Helsings, led by Miroslav Milosevic (no relation), gave themselves up to cops after attacking the deceased despot in his grave in the eastern town of Pozarevac. Milosevic popped his clogs back in 2006, while on trial in a UN war crimes tribunal for various unsavoury activities connected with the disintegration of the former Yugoslavia.
Miroslav Milosevic saidhe and his fellow vampire hunters acted to stop the former dictator returning from the dead to haunt the country. His team explained that the wooden stake had beendriven into the ground and through the late president's heart.
At least they can be sure he's dead now.
Serbian vampire hunters prevent Milosevic come-back—The Register, 6th March 2007 (via Randy McDonald).
Belgium: An airline has redesigned its logo because superstitious people were worried about it.
The new and old Brussels Airlines logos compared
Thirteen dots looked just right to the designer Ronane Hoet. Together they had the perfect balance to form a stylisedbfor the new Belgian carrier Brussels Airlines and the number also matched the destinations it flew to in Africa, a key market.It was harmony,she said, wistfully.
This week, however, Brussels Airlines workers were adding a 14th ball to the logo on the tail and sides of an Airbus 319 in response to complaints from superstitious customers in the US and Italy.
Immediately after the November announcement that the successor to the merged SN Brussels and Virgin Express would come into operation on March 25 with the 13-ball logo, the firm was flooded with disapproving emails and calls.
They said they were not pleased with an aircraft with a logo with 13 balls because they think it brings them bad luck,said airline spokesman Geert Sciot.
Not quite sure how a loaded A319 makes it to the US. Still, one of the airlines forming the new one rose out of the ashes of Sabena, which is a much better reason to avoid it. The new design has 14 balls, which is fine as long as the airline does not serve east Asia.
Brussels Airlines could have gone to 12 dots or 14. It chose 14 to avoid connection with the 12 disciples. Luckily, it is not flying to China, where 14 would be a definite no-no; in Mandarin, 14 sounds like the phraseto want to die.
In both Chinese and Japanese speaking areas, the numbers 4 and 7 are unlucky because the words for them sound like the word for death
. The Japanese even use alternative words for the offending numbers where possible, which is why shichimi togarashi
(seven spice) is more usually labelled nanami togarashi
.
Airline redraws logo as superstitious customers curse 13-ball design—The Guardian, 22nd February 2007. Related story: Superstition in strange places.—The Pagan Prattle, 29th January 2004.
It seems I missed at least one important date out of my Annual End of the World Post 2007: St. Valentine's Day. According to a poster on various newsgroups, ancient Egyptian astrologers knew all about it, although I suspect the bigotry is a modern addition to the prediction:
Predators such as jews, shiate and Pope Ratzinger could be in for a nasty Second Coming shock this Valentine's Day as a huge comet originating in the costellation of Aquilla the Eagle heralds the Return of the King, according to astrologers decoding the British Museum's ancient star maps found in Egypt's Valley of the Kings.
Comet Nemesis hails from the giant bright star Altair and has been predicted to usher in the Day of Judgement according to the Cheops Codex.
Exactly what this will bring is a little vague. Okay, that's me being too polite. What follows makes no sense whatsoever.
We forsee the total collapse of the Family Evil Empire as the comet transits natal fault lines that have held together for centuries with glue made from boiled cloven hooves, Gog family semen and rattlesnake venom.
But the Poodle gods in Sally, Rabat is totally blase about any collapse of its power structure on the 14 February and has even hinted that the head of the Metropolitcan Police's cash-for-honors probe may have been offered a life peerage to clear up the whole messy business pretty damned quick.
Internet spread betting index AintgottaWarholprayer.net is offering odds of 5/4FAV on Alaoui being led kicking, screaming and manacled out slowly on Wedenesday morning after the King mohamed sesta alaclaoui, the Pretender to the Throne of god and all the other Bots and Clones implants are shot at dawn for treason against Salvation.
Right-o.
Prey for Valentine's Day Second Coming says astrologers—Warhol
, 12th February 2007.
Yet again, the doomsayers have let us down, and the world spectacularly failed to end in 2006. Nor was there any sign of Jesus' return, so it's time, again, to see how we will meet our collective end in 2007. It looks like it will be much busier than last year.
Continue reading "Annual end-of-the-world post 2007"Nigeria: A recent article looking at folk cures and protections against HIV among the prostitutes of Lagos included an example of the way predatory churches exploit the pandemic—by lying, of course:
Over the din of the giant generator and commercial motorbikes belching smoke into the hamathan haze, she managed to say:Please I want you to see this.
From her handbag she pulled out a crumpled newspaper publication. It was actually a page out of a newsletter published by a Pentecostal church in Lagos. The story was a good story, about a 26-year-old woman who had received miracle cure for AIDS. The woman in the photograph wore a happy smile. Her name was given as Christina Okpe. The story was a testimony of the same Christina detailing how she had lived with full-blown AIDS and how a bus preacher directed her to a healing camp where she received miracle.
Christina went on to say in the article that she had forsaken her sinful past and now lived under a glorious authority as a child of God protected from earthly afflictions. The faith healer was quoted as saying that Christina's case was yet another proof thatfor all those who believe in Him, they shall be healed of every sickness including blood diseases...
Getting a little impatient, the reporter looked up with a frown. Testimonies of faith healings were common in religious bulletins and newsletters. Until the Nigerian Broadcasting Corporation (NBC) put a stop to it, television screens were riddled with episode after episode of religious miracles. Many of the miracle receivers were believed to be phonies recruited to advertise the purported powers of the spiritual leader. It was possible Christina was just another but Esse cut short the puzzle by saying that the woman in the picture was dead. According to her, Christina died about four months after the testimony, of complications arising from AIDS.
But in a world where they have little power, and men insist on not using condoms, the women rely on other superstitions too:
Saturday Sun, discovered that among the male population of this community, it is common to possess a talisman called Iba-esu, said to protect the man from HIV/AIDS. The efficacy is only based on the belief that if the man's sex partner were HIV positive, he would receive an 'electric shock' the moment he touches any part of her body. Interestingly, the womenfolk have their own talisman, Iyo-esu, woven into fashionable waistbands. If the woman’s sex partner has HIV/AIDS or STDs like gonorrhea or syphilis, the Iyo-esu is believed to work by making the penis go limp.
Real or myth, the Iyo-esu is known to have caused serious problems for women who use them. Men with erectile dysfunction are known to have taken their frustrations out on the woman and if she is a prostitute, she is accused of using a corrupt Iyo-esu that allows her to accept money from clients but never gets to render any service.
Esse narrated that she and her colleagues tended to get the most problem from men who use Iba-esu.They are the ones who will never use the condom, no matter what you tell them.
Lime, lies and HIV/AIDS—The Saturday Sun, 23rd December 2006.
England: A family planning doctor faces disciplinary action after she advised a patient that she needed an exorcism. The aptly named Dr. Joyce Pratt told her patient that she was under a black magic spell and had something awful inside her
stomach.
She then allegedly offered to use her special powers to help the woman and told her to visit a priest at Westminster Cathedral, believing the patient was possessed by an evil spirit.
The three-day GMC fitness to practise hearing in Manchester will also investigate accusations that the GP told the patient her mother was a witch, and that the patient's husband and mother were trying to kill her.
Doctor who prescribed exorcism faces disciplinary action—The Guardian, 8th November 2006.
United States (where else?): Crap in bed? Having trouble getting it up? Homosexual? It's probably all the fault of demons, at least according Erica Shepherd, who runs a Sexual Exorcism, Healing, Deliverance Ministry!
Your Sexual Problem May very well be Spiritual? ... Once you have been A Victim Of this type of Spiritual Sexual Abuse You require Personal Exorcism Healing Deliverance Ministry
But how could the demons have found you? The possibilities are endless, but naturally, we're only going to mention the really, really silly ones here.
I have prayed with people who have had these sex Demons unloosed upon them by witchcraft.
I have prayed with people who have had these sex Demons unloosed upon them though Astral Projection.
I have prayed with people who have had these sex Demons unloosed upon them through sleepin in a Hotel room bed and not praying over the room first.
I have prayed with people who out of contex, really believe that "Jesus" has become their husband and Is providing them with sexual gratification.
I prayed with another lady, who went to a foreign Country and was made a Spiritual bride, without Knowing it and she was plagued with a sex Demon, so badly that she almost went crazy.
And if you feel the call to help people afflicted in such a manner, you can always attend her Exorcism Healing Deliverance School.
(via The High Weirdness Project, in alt.conspiracy)
A few short items for you:
United Kingdom: There has been much fuss in the British press of late after a man with severe hearing problems who lipreads, mentioned that the full veil worn by some Muslim women made communication difficult for him. It's been all over the net too, so here are a few select articles:
Several things that no-one has been saying—Roz Kaveney in Silence Exile and Crumpets, 7th October 2006.
Why Muslim women should thank Straw—Saira Khan in The Times, 9th October 2006.
And Jesus and Mo were rather quick to comment on the situation, too.
United States: A financial advice site isn't the sort of place you'd expect to find barking mad religious press releases filled with allegations of human sacrifice by, well, a bunch of hippies.
Dr. Holliday recounts a woman's story, which proves the rise, and social acceptance of witchcraft in America has caused progressive interest and involvement in the occult thus capturing millions as spiritual slaves. Dr. Pat Holliday's new book,Walking Deadcaptures the Lamb family's ordeal with a witch in their life. It conveys the truth thatWitchcraft and Satanic worship, coupled with human sacrifices is widespread and happening now!
It seems that magic is real, and a single spell can destroy your life!
The effect of the witch's spell was explosive and devastating, almost completely destroying Rita's life.
This being Loony Fundie Nonsense, the only way to protect yourself from imaginary enemies with imaginary weaponry is to get yourself an imaginary friend. Of course.
Witchcraft in America is on the Rise With Millions Captured in Spiritual Slavery—Finance Visor Markets News, 27th September 2006.
Kenya: When Yisrael Hawkins of the Hosue of Yahweh predicted nuclear annihilation on September 12th, his Kenyan followers bunkered down to await the end.
Then nothing happened.
But they are not even slightly embarrassed, and insist they will be proved right soon enough, and that mockers will die as a result.
They say that the nuclear will start around the great river Euphrates and the house of Yahweh is only mandated to teach people what they must do to protect themselves.
But this will not be the end. The end will come 13 months later with four-fifths of the population destroyed,warns Yaaqob Kiplagat, a member of the religious group.
They are well prepared for nuclear war, although they do not explain why anyone would waste nukes on Kenya.
The group has in their bunkers molasses, honey, illegal brew — busaa — and other permissible foodstuff according to their faith.
Mosheh said they have eaten enough food which contains molasses for immunity of which will prevent them from being affected by the nuclear chemicals.
We have also prepared safe rooms of which are covered with thick paper bags which will absorb the nuclear chemicals.
They are a bit odd, even by loony fundie standards, refusing to call the Bible by that name.
Furthermore, we do not call it the bible, we call it the book of Yahweh because the bible means Babylon which is a place of idol worship,he says.
Cult: 'Those who laugh at us will perish'—The Standard, 16th September 2006.
Bargains have been thin on the ground lately, but today you can bid on a Rider-Waite tarot pack. What? Not weird enough for you? But these cards are special because it's a Tarot Card Deck From Dead Salem Mass Witch.
Possessed Or Bad Karma? We Will Let You Decide
Hello, And welcome to another auction brought to you by Power Mix Fm
After our listeners have heard that we were running some crazy ebay auctions we recieved a phone call from cindy in Salem Mass. and her phone conversation gave myself and the producers all chills up our spines, for that reason we are going to tell you her story and the reason why we are selling these cards for her.
It was 2 weeks befor Halloween when she stumbled upon a yard sale next to an old witch cemetary, she sensed that something on the table was eager for her to buy as she walked closer to the table a deck of Tarot cards fell onto of her foot the lady running the sale snickered in the background and approached her and asked if she needed help and out of the blue cindy said ill take these.
after the transaction the lady told her that these cards belonged to her daughter that was evolved in witch craft for 5 years but died by a freak accident in her apartment as cindy gulped and was just about to change her mind, her cell phone ringed and she had to leae fast.
Later that night cindy arrived home and tried to play with the cards but could not figure it out.
Night 1: about 2am cindy woke up to a loud scream of a female screaming for help and then as the girls tone got louder she could hear a man in a language that almost sounded german as cindy put it, She quickly went to the couch and slept there for the night.
Night 6: same time around 2am cindy heard the same as befor and once again slept on the couch,
and this would happen every 5 days, since then cindy has moved and had the tarot cards stored in a storage facility.
Untill today Power Mix FM has taken the cards for cindy and we are listing them here on ebay for hopes that someone in this world may know how to handle this type of deal.
Or maybe you are just a collector of ghostly objects and this would help with your collection.
Power Mix Fm has no way to verify this story besides what cindy has told us but we will keep the Deck of cards on the studio desk so during our 2AM dj sessions we will see if our DJ's experience the same scenario as cindy did.
All questions may take upto 24 hours to respond as we will forward them to cindy's home email address.
United States: There always has to be at least one person getting their end-of-the world predictions in too late to feature in the Prattle's Annual End-of-the-world post. The latest miscreant is Yisrayl Hawkins of the House of Yahweh (no relation to Prophet Yahweh), who has announced that the current crisis in the Middle East will go nuclear on September 12, 2006 in the area around the Euphrates River
. How does he know? Because it's in the Bible!
Yisrayl Hawkins, well known Bible scholar and author, reports that the Bible predicts the exact date and the location that nuclear war will begin. Hawkins states that the current crisis in the Middle East will go nuclear on September 12, 2006 in the area around the Euphrates River. Calling upon his 50 years of biblical research, Hawkins correlates numerous Bible prophecies with world events to support his claim.
According to Yisrayl Hawkins, the countdown to nuclear war began with the signing of the Oslo accords on the White House lawn on September 13, 1993. He says that the book of Daniel shows that although this is a seven-year agreement, it would take fourteen years to be fully carried out, ending on October 13, 2007. He then cites prophecies in the book of Revelation showing that nuclear war would begin a year, a month and a day prior to the end of the Oslo agreement.
He's even produced a video in which he explains it all.
But Religion News Blog is on the ball, and have noticed something about this prediction: the Tribulation was originally going to start when the Oslo Agreement was signed, and the end of the world would be seven years after that date. Oops. They also note that Hawkins is not the only Prophet to fail to get his prediction in on time. The Lords' Witnesses and the True Bible Code (also auf Deutsch) have a similar nuclear annihilation forecast for a few days earlier.
We now predict a terrorist Nuclear Bomb will hit the UN plaza in Midtown Manhattan on the sabbath of 2006Elul13 (Sundown Friday September 8th to Sundown Saturday September 9th)...
We correctly predicted that the UN would lose its headship in 2006Tammuz (this being the 2nd head of the image of the Beast of Revelation 13) which gets a death stroke but then recovers. It lost its head on 2006July12 (2006Tammuz14) when Israel invaded Lebanon without a UN mandate. The UN lost credibility and lost control for a month. It lost headship over Israel for one month. But the image of the Beast does not lose two heads, it only loses one head. Each of the 7 heads of the image of the UN Beast stands for one month of military headship over the governments of the world, just as the 7 heads of the UN Beast itself each stand for one year of military headship over the governments of the world - see below. So we knew it had to regain headship in the month of Ab. It did this on August 11th by means of the UN Security Council Resolution 1701, passed that day, and demanding an immediate ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon. Now the UN will has been declare Peace and Security since the UN Peace Building Commission was added to the UN Security Council in our understanding. So sudden destruction will befall them according to 1 Thessalonians 5:3. So please leave NYC for the 2nd sabbath in September!!!
Of course, they admit they've made mistakes with this prediction, at least 11 times in the past, but they know they're right this time!
NUCLEAR WAR BEGINS SEPTEMBER 12, 2006—House of Yahweh press release, 28th August 2006; Nuclear War Begins September 12, 2006—Religion News Blog, 28th August 2006.
England: A woman who made a racist comment to a member of staff at Stansted Airport has been temporarily banned from flying with easyJet. No news there, except the woman concerned is a barking mad fundie who got upset when a member of staff reacted in a perfectly natural way to an injured child.
Fiz Thomson, 55, was returning from a trip to Israel where she had been helping war victims, when she heard boarding staff at Stansted airport repeatedly exclaimingOh, my Godafter a child fell and hurt herself.
She said she politely asked them to stop taking God's name in vain. She was then approached by a security official and she claims she was called aracistfor remarking that her complaint would have been taken more seriously had she been Islamic.
She did not mention, though the airline did, that the member of staff she said this to was of Indian origin
.
Thomson was offloaded and hired a car to drive back to Fife, being apparently unaware of the existence of the night train between Euston and Edinburgh.
Air ban on woman in blasphemy row—Daily Telegraph, 26th August 2006.
United States: Over in the Bennett School District, Colorado, there is a school superintendent and a board member even more bigoted and mean-spirited than principal Guy Bowling.
Tresa Waggoner, Christian singer and music teacher, has been forced to resign from her job after she showed an extract from the opera Faust to pupils in a music class. Blissfully unaware that it is a Christian morality tale, some loony fundie parents complained, saying the opera promoted Satanism and abortion. Waggoner was put on paid leave. Even though a school board meeting voted overwhelmingly in her favour, superintendent George Sauter declared it would be 'disruptive' to allow Waggoner to teach again.
Mike Babi is a member of the school board and a parent at the school. Along with his wife Cori, he is suspected of having a vendetta against Waggoner after the school Christmas concert featured no religious songs, and the ongoing stushie has also forced the resignation of Mayor Karen Grossiant. She noted that her town, Bennett, has a mean-spirited undertone
.
When the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints built a meetinghouse in nearby Strasburg last year, there was a debate over whether Mormons were Christians, she said.
The issue with Tresa Waggoner wasn't the opera, but that she had run the holiday pageant without Christmas songs,said Grossiant.
Waggoner also connects the concert with a plot against her, and recalled being threatened by the Babis:
Cory Babi, the wife of school board member Mike Babi, called four days before the program and said there would be problems if there were no Christmas songs, said Waggoner.
I told her we couldn't sing them because public schools didn't want to offend people of other religions, including Jewish people, Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses,she said.
After Waggoner showed less than 12 minutes of the Faust videotape, Cory Babi said her daughter asked about abortion and suicide. Babi declined comment Thursday.
The connection is transparent. They lied and said Faust is about abortion,said Waggoner.The only thing I can do is expose this as the injustice that it is.
Waggoner has said that she will pray for Sauter so he could live with himself for doing something so wrong
and plans to seek work as music director for a church.
Faust is a mediæval tale of a magician who does a deal with Satan and gets into Deep Shit as a result—precisely the message you'd think fundie parents would want teaching to children.
Teacher seeks new job after 'Faust' flap—Rocky Mountain News, 10th March 2006.
United Kingdom: Prime Minister Tony Blair has admitted that he asked his imaginary friend before sending British troops to Iraq. The voices in his head apparently told him it was okay.
Prime Minister Tony Blair says he prayed to God when deciding whether or not to send UK troops to Iraq.
Mr Blair answeredyeswhen asked on ITV1 chat show Parkinson if he had sought holy intervention on the issue....
In the end, there is a judgement that, I think if you have faith about these things, you realise that judgement is made by other people... and if you believe in God, it's made by God as well,Mr Blair said...
The only way you can take a decision like that is to do the right thing according to your conscience.
Blair 'prayed to God' over Iraq—BBC News, 3rd March 2006.
Scotland: I'm beginning to get really worried about drinking the tap water round here, even when it's filtered. You see, there seems to be something in it which turns you into an irrational loon, although evidence so far seems to suggest it only affects Christians.
First, one of the nearest churches to Prattle Towers (Northern Hemisphere): Loons Trying to Close Tourist Attraction. Then, an even nearer one, Greenside Parish Church, did something which I was going to put in the Prattle and never got round to. I think it was connected with Jerry Springer: The Opera.
Today's it's the turn of St. Paul's, Pilrig. Situated on a busy junction, with really illogical traffic lights, you would think that the parents in the congregation would have some very real worries about their children's safety. But heavy traffic, doesn't seem to be that important, nor is the pawn shop over the road. What worries them is that the Church has a nice, tall steeple, perfect for disguising a mobile phone mast, and a phone company has offered them money to use it for that very purpose.
Joette Thomas, 38, of Parents Against Masts, said:I don't want my three and eight-year-old girls exposed to potentially harmful radiation so that people can get porn on their mobile phones. That a church is facilitating this is outrageous. They should drop this plan now.
Should we let them know about that enormous nuclear reactor, extensively used as a source of power, that's located only 93 million miles away?
Church accused of profiting from phone pornography—Edinburgh Evening News, 13th February 2006 (thanks, Roy).
A little late, but seeing as none of last year's end-of-the-world predictions came true, it's time to see how we will meet our doom this year. 2006 promises to be an exciting year, with nuclear war, the start of the Tribulation, comets and asteroids hitting the earth, and some very bizarre astronomical phenomena.
Continue reading "Annual End-of-the-world post 2006"In many societies, AIDS preventions efforts are hampered by sheer supersition. In Zambia, fears of Satanism are effecting a testing and counselling project:
And Kanyama residents yesterday shunned the HIV/AIDS voluntary, counselling and testing (VCT) preliminary HIV/AIDS function, for fear that their blood samples would be used for Satanism purposes.
Kanyama Member of Parliament Henry Mtonga said HIV/AIDS counsellors had faced resistance from the people in the area following last Saturday's riots in which a church was accused of practising Satanism.
The Member of Parliament then went on to give credence to the rumour, contributing to the problem:
Mr Mtonga said it was important for people to distinguish between blood samples meant for VCT and those that were meant for alleged Satanism activities.
And in news media everywhere, there are stories of stigma and denial, placing the blame on witchcraft. Here's just one example, from a long article explaining how cultural traditions in one area have helped spread the virus:
There is a big number of number of people who do not want to go through VCT [voluntary counselling and testing centres], who do not utilise the antiretroviral programmes that are already in place in Nyanza. In fact, they do not want even to know what killed people,he said.
People continue interacting sexually with these women even after their husbands have died of HIV/AIDS,Olayo observed.Alternative explanations are given for every death. It is either a neighbour's witchcraft, or chira [a curse], or something else.
High HIV/AIDS death toll worries British envoy - Times of Zambia, 30th November 2005; KENYA: Cultural traditions fuel the spread of HIV/AIDS - IRIN Africa, 30th November 2005.
It will come as no surprise to discover that Thanksgiving, despite its blatantly Christian veneer, is one of the Evil Satanic Holidays. Well, it is according to Satan's Days of Worship (Edition 1.0 20030312-20030312), published by the Christian Churches of God in Woden (honest!), Australia.
The cornucopia, which is typically seen at Thanksgiving in the United States, was originally the horn of the Great Mother in her cow or goat form. Her names were Io, Ceres, Hera, and Hathor. All good things poured forth from the hollow horn, which was symbolic of prayer to the goddess. Cornucopias are still frequently seen as decorations although many do not know its pagan meaning as a sacred festival (ibib., p. 90). The original day of Thanksgiving was moved to this date for pagan reasons by the early USA secret cults.
The END-TIME DELIVERANCE MINISTRY DEMONBUSTER.COM
DELIVERANCE MANUAL: HOLIDAYS
AND HOLY DAYS
also warns us that it is Evil, but this time because it's a Native American festival:
Did you think Thanksgiving day was started by the Pilgrims in 1621? Nope! According to a Public Broadcast program I saw, the Indians taught the Pilgrims that this special Indian day was to give thanks to theirgod. You may need some DELIVERANCE in this area. .
The Nazarite, a web site built to bring believers to the truth by exposing some of the twisted man-made doctrines of modern Christianity
includes a page on Christian Holidays which manages to explain how both of these threads tie together:
The pagans in Rome celebrated their thanksgiving in early October. The holiday was dedicated to the goddess of the harvest, Ceres, and the holiday was called Cerelia. The Catholic church took over the pagan holiday and it became well established in England, where some of the pagan customs and rituals for this day were observed long after the Roman Empire had disappeared. In England theHarvest Homehas been observed continuously for centuries.
In our own hemisphere, among the Aztecs of Mexico, the harvest took on a grimmer aspect. Each year a young girl, a representation of Xilonen, The goddess of the new corn, was beheaded. The Pawnees also sacrificed a girl. In a more temperate mood, the Cherokees of the American Southeast danced the Green Corn Dance and began the new year at harvest's end.
No wonder Chief Massasoit and his ninety braves felt right at home with the Pilgrim Fathers on that day in 1621!! Obviously, the idea for thisfirst Thanksgivingdid not justpopinto the mind of Governor Bradford as most people believe! On the contrary Thanksgiving, in the guise of the pagan harvest festivals, can be traced right back to ancient Babylon and the worship of Semiramis!
So there!
Pakistan: An (Indian?) astologer has predicted troubled times in Pakistan:
Renowned astrologer and palmist Sana Khan has forecast that 2005 would be Shaukat Aziz's last year as Prime Minister.
She said that Pakistan's 59th year would be significant for President General Pervez Musharraf, as it would provide him with an opportunity to demonstrate his skill and abilities.
2005 maybe Shaukat Aziz's last year as Pak PM—WebIndia123, 13th August 2005.
India: An astrologer has claimed he predicted the London bombing, and has distributed undated typewritten sheets as evidence:
He distributed typed pages of what he claimed to be part of the contents of his predictions.I had in four recent issues of Babaji written about the possible terrorist attacks on the British capital London. I had said that these attacks could paralyse the transport system of London and both tube stations as well as surface transport would be hit,he told rediff.com on Friday.
If he gave the reporter actual dated copies of the magazine, the journalist strangely neglected to mention this.
I had predicted London blasts: Astrologer - Rediff, 9th July 2005.
United States: Stories like the one below are somewhat less surprising when you learn that three quarters of people in the US hold at least one paranormal belief (excluding God, in which case it would go up to almost 100%!). A Gallup survey found that the most common beliefs were in ESP (41%) and haunted houses (37%). The results are consistent with a similar survey conducted in 2001.
The survey also asked about belief in things which are not necessarily paranormal, including satanic possession (42%), spiritual healing (55%) and that the earth had been visited by aliens in the past (24%). Very little difference was found between vartious demographic groups, though Christians were slighly more likely to be superstitious.
The poll shows no statistically significant differences among people by age, gender, education, race, and region of the country. Christians are a little more likely to hold some paranormal beliefs than non-Christians (75% vs. 66%, respectively), but both groups show a sizeable majority with such beliefs.
Possession by the devil was left out of the final results because it is unclear how many people treat that statement literally, and how many interpret it in metaphorical terms
, but 'witches' was left in, even though that single word does not differentiate between belief in the existence people who practice malevolent magic, or belief in the existence of a group of people who consider themselves to be witches.
Three in Four Americans Believe in Paranormal - Gallup, 16th June 2005.
Ireland: Some people have more interesting jobs than others. A friend of mine works in a shop selling beads, crystals and a handful of New Age books. Not normally a very interesting job, except today:
The phone rang. I answered it. An adolescent male voice askedDo you sell Ouija Boards?NoI said.Why not?he asked.We can't get them,I replied.Well, what do you use, then?he asked.Use for what?said I.To summon demons,he replied. He seemed surprised when I told him that we didn't feel any real need to.
A phonecall at work, Pádraig Ó Méalóid's LiveJournal, 7th May 2005.
A fragment of the oldest known New Testament has been discovered, and it seems the number of the beast has been mistranscribed in subsequent editions. It isn't 666, but 616.
The new fragment from the Book of Revelation, written in ancient Greek and dating from the late third century, is part of a hoard of previously unintelligible manuscripts discovered in historic dumps outside Oxyrhynchus in Egypt. Now a team of expert classicists, using new photographic techniques, are finally deciphering the original writing.
Professor David Parker, Professor of New Testament Textual Criticism and Paleography at the University of Birmingham, thinks that 616, although less memorable than 666, is the original. He said:This is an example of gematria, where numbers are based on the numerical values of letters in people's names. Early Christians would use numbers to hide the identity of people who they were attacking: 616 refers to the Emperor Caligula.
A representative of the Church of Satan was unfazed. Peter Gilmore told the press By using 666 we're using something that the Christians fear. Mind you, if they do switch to 616 being the number of the beast then we'll start using that.
Revelation! 666 is not the number of the beast (it's a devilish 616) - The Independent on Sunday, 1st May 2005 (thanks, Rick).
Scotland (alas): The Paisley Development Trust is convinced that a missing horseshoe is responsible for all the town's woes:
Piero Pieraccini, treasurer of the Paisley Development Trust, blamed high rates of violent crime, hardship and natural disasters, including flooding in the town, on the loss of an iron horseshoe which marks the communal grave of six men and women, who were believed to be the devil's disciples.
The band were found guilty of witchcraft in 1697, hanged and publicly burned at the stake before their ashes were buried and the tomb sealed with the horse's stamp.
Without the horseshoe, it is said, the town cannot prevent witches rising from the dead leaving the town at the mercy of their evil spirits.
Their solution is to replace the missing horseshoe with a new one, something which a blacksmit should be able to knock up in a matter of seconds.
Now the trust has applied for a grant for almost £2500 from Renfrewshire Council to recast a brand new stainless steel horseshoe in the hope that it will bring good luck to Paisley.
At that price, they must be getting Wylundt himself to do the job!
Paisley seeks horseshoe to rein in ancient witches' curse - The Herald, 19th April 2005.
Vatican City - Avedon Carol has dug out an old story, which has some bearing on one of our old stories -- it seems the late Pope John Paul II feared that George W. Bush was the Antichrist.
According to freelance journalist Wayne Madsden,George W Bush's blood lust, his repeated commitment to Christian beliefs and his constant references to 'evil doers,' in the eyes of many devout Catholic leaders, bear all the hallmarks of the one warned about in the Book of Revelations--the anti-Christ.
Madsen, a Washington-based writer and columnist, who often writes for Counterpunch, says that people close to the pope claim that amid these concerns, the pontiff wishes he was younger and in better health to confront the possibility that Bush may represent the person prophesized in Revelations. John Paul II has always believed the world was on the precipice of the final confrontation between Good and Evil as foretold in the New Testament.
The Pope did not agree that Harry Potter is evil, though.
Pope fears Bush is antichrist, journalist contends - Catholic New Times, May 18, 2003 .
Colombia: Pope John Paul II has risen from that dead as The Incredible Popeman!
Like any self-respecting superhero, the Incredible Popeman has a battery of special equipment. Along with his yellow [anti-devil] cape and green chastity pants, the muscular super-pontiff wields a faith staff with a cross on top and carries holy water and communion wine.
In the comic book, the pope dies and is reborn with superpowers beyond the infallibility Catholic doctrine gave him on Earth.
Pope reborn as superhero in Colombian comic -AZ Central, 6th April 2005 (thank you, Rick).
It looks like QuePirate has started a trend among those who are too insane to work out how to get free web space. This time it's a xilliontherockopera who's abusing eBay, and rather than listing something for sale, is using the space to rant about their imaginary friend in A LECTURE. JESUS APPEARED TO ME. I KNOW WHERE HEAVEN IS. AFTER 21 YEARS I AM READY TO GO PUBLIC WITH THIS.
Continue reading "Grandstanding via eBay"It seems the staff at the Arkham Asylum have given our old friend QuePirate access to the net, and simultaneously reduced his medication. It hasn't affected his English language skills, though.
Notice the position of the crescent moon lately - I'ts not like a chair anymore but more like a couch like Islam portrays it - think it is the "distress of nations" like it says in the Gospel [Luke 21:25] - if not why hasn't the scientific community mentioned the change of planetary allignment - you dont think they've missed it do you! Ha Ha
BTW it changed same time as the earthquake which occured year 2000 of christ nativity " "Great Earthequake in divers places" at after the sabbath crack of dawn beginning of the week, Mathew last chapter first 2 sentences. Oh-Yeah! do you know the parrable of the fig tree?
Of course, as the moon is currently waxing, it will be some time before we are able to confirm that the moon looks just the same as she ever did. It's probably a crescent in QuePirate's head though.
England: Carlisle City Council has voted overwhelmingly to deny fundie requests to get rid of its 'cursing stone'. Only two councillors voted in favour of removing the stone, and a familiar member of the public found himself in trouble when he heckled in an aggressive manner:
Leslie Irving, editor of the Christian magazine Bound Together and a campaigner against the stone, was escorted out for squaring up to Currock Labour councillor Paul Im Thurn.
Nor will the current Archbishop of Glasgow do anything to lift the alleged curse placed by his predecessor in the 16th century:
It was suggested that Archbishop Conti, as his modern-day equivalent, would be able to lift thecurse- blamed for disasters including foot and mouth and floods in the city. However ... Archbishop Conti's spokesman said:The Archbishop may send a letter offering his good wishes but he won't be getting his Latin prayer book and his holy water and heading down the M74.
Still, there has been a couple of more unusual offers. The council has already declined an offer from Simon Ralli Robinson, a Dumfries-based shaman:
Mr Robinson said:I can do cleansing ceremonies. That energy can be got rid of. I have sacred wood from Peru which, when burned, has a cleansing effect.
Nor did they seem particularly impressed with the offer from the better-known Uri Geller:
He told Reuters press agency:I have offered to take the stone off their hands, put it in my garden and exorcise it.
The Domesday book records an ancient healing centre in my village and all the ley lines converge on my garden.
I will use my pendulum and cleanse the stone of any evil forces. After that I would like to keep it. It is a work of art.
Indeed, as well as not wanting to look like superstitious idiots in front of the whole world, it seems the council had a very important consideration in mind when they voted to keep the stone:
However, [city council leader Mike Mitchelson] is hopeful that world-wide publicity about the stone will bring many more tourists.
It won't be our number one attraction but hopefully it will have a positive effect on visitor numbers,he said.
Carlisle votes to keep the stone as Christian campaigner thrown out - News and Star, 9th March 2005; Archbishop won't lift stone's 'curse' - Glasgow Evening Times, 10th March 2005; Uri wants the cursing stone -- for his garden - News and Star, 10th March 2005. See also Catching up: A fuss about a lump of rock - Pagan Prattle, 9th March 2005.
Okay, I've been slacking, but my faithful correspondents have not. First up is tjc, who sent me a succinct message with a tasty link:
It seems that a cursing stone in Carlisle is responsible for foot and mouth as well as the local football team being totally crap. Now a local councillor (Also a god-botherer, what a surprise) wants it removed.
Five years ago, as part of a millenium project, a monument was erected in Carlisle which featured a 1069-word rant against the Reivers, first proclaimed by Archbishop of Glasgow, Gavin Dunbar, in 1525. Now a LibDem councillor has demanded the demolition of the monument. His reasoning is a little odd given that the 'curse' being the work of an Archbishop, and framed in Biblical terms:
Many groups and individuals warned the council that placing a non-Christian artefact based on an old curse on local families would bring ill luck on the city. This has seemed to be correct. I therefore urge the council to support this motion to remove the stone, the physical embodiment of the curse upon families in the West March.
The Bishop of Carlisle , the Rt Rev Graham Dow, has asked the present Archbishop of Glasgow to perform a magic spell lift the 'curse'. Dow is an interesting character - according to a 2003 article dug up by Richard Bartholemhew:
Bishop Dow has hit the headlines on several occasions this year after joining the row over homosexuality within the Church of England and after it was revealed he believes evil spirits can be introduced into the world through miscarriages, abortions, oral and anal sex.
In 1990 Bishop Dow, a close friend on the Prime Minister Tony Blair, wrote a booklet, Explaining Deliverance, in which his views on evil spirits were revealed. He said the spirits could also cause untreatable diseases.
He also wrote that people who repeatedly wear black or always purchase a black car may be possessed by evil spirits. He says clear signs of evil spirits at work aresexual lust and deviant sexual practice.
He is also connected with organisations which promoted the satanic ritual abuse myth. He's not the only loony fundie who's waded in this particular quagmire. Leslie Irving, editor of the rather kinkily titled Christian magazine, Bound Together, warned journalists that the (entirely Christian, remember) stone could become the focus of satanic rituals.
There are some sensible people in Carlisle, though. Lee Northern was inspired to write a letter to the editor of the News and Star:
I feel I must respond to the barrage of nonsense written about Carlisle's Cursing Stone.
To read many of the News & Star letters you would think that Cumbria was in a time warp in which evenwitchcraftwas seriously regarded as a possible cause for Carlisle's recent troubles...
...Surely it is ridiculous to suggest that the stone could be cursing Carlisle? I wonder what impression people in others parts of the UK must have of Cumbria thanks to the publicity that blaming the stone has brought to our county.
It's hard to lift a 7.5 tonne curse - The Herald, 2nd March 2005; It's ridiculous to blame stone - News and Star, 8th March 2005; Dow-Curse Index - Bartholomew's notes on religion, 8th March 2005; Love Thy Brother - News and Star, 6th December 2003.
England: Paranormal researchers have been called in by the owners of a former shipyard in Liverpool because Weird Shit allegedly happens there:
Site manager Mike Rider said:You can walk down the corridor, it's cold even in summertime and feel your hair stand up and tingles down your spine.
Quite a lot of times, when I've been sitting here at the desk, you see something in the corner of your eye.
His daughter, Amy, says she regularly finds the same glass fallen from a tray in the canteen.
She said:Every morning when we come in there's normally a glass fallen off that tray. It's always that glass and it's never, ever broken. It's very strange.
Ex-shipyard calls ghost hunters - BBC News, 31st January 2005 (thanks to Andrew Ian Dodge).
Vanuatu: A plantation owner who found his dead cow's stomach was full of leaves, bits of cloth and plastic is convinced that the cause of death is not the cow eating rubbish, but witchcraft!
It was my first time to see such things as people tell me of how black magic is used to kill people in similar way, that is removing intestine and replacing them with dirt,Sara plantation owner Abel Stallon told the Daily Post.
I think a witchcraft practitioner must have tried out his magic on my cow to see if it worked,Mr Stallon said.
The Department of Livestock disagrees, noting that there have been a number of cases of plastic, from plastic bags, cloth and similar objects killing cattle.
Black magic causes death of a cow? - Vanuatu Daily Post, 27th January 2005.
United States: A writer who boasts of his appearances on Pat Robertson's 700 Club, Thomas Horn, has penned a short piece suggesting the George W. Bush will start Armageddon in 2006, and that it is all predicted in a book of Middle Eastern myths and legends.
According to Michael Drosnin's best selling book, The Bible Code, the Bible contains a hidden text that was first discovered by an Israeli mathematician, Dr. Eliyahu Rips, who presented his findings in a major science journal. The code foretold the Kennedy assassinations, World War II, the Holocaust, the Hiroshima bomb, the Moon landing, and one more thing: That in 2006,BUSHwould start anEND DAYSwar that would involveTHE NATIONS UNDER ALL OF HEAVEN.
Does the Bible Predict President Bush Will Start WWIII in 2006? - Raiders News Update (which is nothing to do with the NFL), not dated, 2004.
Cambodia: A former king of Cambodia claims his country was saved from the tsunami thanks to his astrologer:
Former Cambodian king Norodom Sihanouk says an astrologer warned him that anultra-catastrophic cataclysmwould strike, but that his country would be spared if proper rituals were conducted.
My wife and I decided to spend several thousand dollars to organize these ceremonies so our country and our people could be spared such a catastrophe,Sihanouk, who abdicated last year, wrote on his Web site at www.sihanouknorodom.info.
A quick look at a map suggests that Camboidia was very unlikley to have been affected seeing as it is sheltered by Thailand (as demonstrated by the animation on this page.)
Cambodia saved from tsunami by astrologer, says Sihanouk - ABS CBN News, 2nd January 2005.
Everywhere: 2005 looks as if it was going to be a quiet year, with To Infinity And Beyond! only listing two occasions on which the world will end this year:
Not content with ordinary asteroid obliteration, the Weekly World News folk have scared up one Mark Crealer, purported astronomer, who insists that our planet's Lunar pal has been getting far, far too friendly of late and that this sudden cuddliness is sure to come to no good end. Specifically, he referred to a degradation of its orbit and a most embarrassing and inconvenient collision to take place in a very short span of time...
An amused astronomer managed to mirror the Weekly World News web version of the article. The other end of the world is a more traditional Biblical climax:
2005 CE - Evangelist George Curle has this year marked on his calendar as the definite, absolute, gotta-be date for the Second Go-'round. One hopes he only marked it in pencil.
Curle died on 12th July 2002, and so presumably will not be making any more forecasts.
But, the tsunami has opened the floodgates of predictions from all quarters. In India, a group of astrologers has warned that the disaster is the start of the end as seen by Nostradamus:
Continue reading "Annual End-of-the-world post 2005"Molatar Seth Pyragent is a missionary with a difference:
This site is dedicated to spreading the Gospel in the werewolf and furry communities. It is my hope that many trans-species people will accept Jesus as their Savior through this ministry. I will explain the etymology of this website's name. I got the idea from Werewolf Tobias' tradition of calling a werewolf stronghold a House. Well, I'm a dragon, so my ideal stronghold would be a Castle. And since this is MY website where I am MASTER, I call this my Castle.
And though he does not accept Jesus' mastery (tsk, tsk), he does feel your pain:
I too know the shame and anger about being trapped in a powerless and ugly human body. If you desire a shape-shift, please click on the P-shift essay link to your left and I will guide you. If you desire clarification of God's Word, please click on the salvation, essay, and bibliography links provided at left.
And like every other evangelist, he knows that apostrophes are a Satanic plot:
Nor do I have the time to prove everything I say with verses from the Bible. Not everything I say needs to be proven from the Bible because its basic common sense.
Taiwan: Most people know that annoying lions or other large carnivores will usually result in a clue being administered by said beasties. One loony fundie didin't and on a visit to the Taipei Zoo decided that a bit of evangelical zeal was just what the lions needed. They didn't, but they did give the nutjob a good gnawing for his troubles.
A manwith psychological problemsleapt into the lions' den at Taipei zoo yesterday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.
He was bitten on the leg and arm for his efforts.
Jesus will save you!the 46-year-old man shouted at two lions lounging under a tree a few yards away at Taiwan's main zoo.
Obviously Chen's imaginary friend didn't save him, perhaps he was trying to teach the silly sod a lesson about the dangers of teasing lions.
Continue reading "Lions 1, Christians 0"Romania: The inhabitants of the village of Cristinesti fled their homes because they were convinced an alien invasion was underway. The lights turned out to be a local open-air disco.
Fleeing villagers mistook disco lights for aliens - Only Punjab.com, 12th October 2004.
Russia: Folk magic is fairly common in Russian life, despite the efforts of the Russian Orthodox Church and the Soviet government. Some of the spells are rather interesting:
Ruslan, a medical student, relates the following story, chilling bordering on nauseating: this summer, at the hospital lab where he works, a good half of one afternoon was spent running some mysterious liquid through tests. The liquid was brought in by one of the lab workers who suspected that a friend was involved in foul play after the friend repeatedly invited her and her fiance over for tea. She poured some tea into a test tube and brought it to work. After brewing some fresh tea as control, the lab director tested the liquid for everything.Protein, glucose, creatine, reproductive hormones, etc, etc, after which she publicly announced her conclusion: the tea contained menstrual blood.The coworker proffered her explanation, Ruslan said:I know, she wanted to chase my fiance away from me,citing an appropriate spell that involved feeding people with menstrual blood.
Others are more familiar:
For instance, in one of the stations of Moscow's fabled luxurious subway halls there is a statue of a dog. There are many statues, covered with patina and grime, but the dog's nose shines pure gold. It's polished by the hands of students rubbing the pooch's nose before exams -- a good luck ritual obviously thought at least as effective as studying.
A Little Black Magic in Russian Everyday Life - Mosnews.com, 29th September 2004.
India: The Indian government did not fall yesterday. The demise of the coalition led by Manmohan Singh had been predicted by an astrologer, and several leaders of the opposition BJP were apparently looking forward to the day.
In a country where astrology plays a huge role in decisions ranging from missile launches and elections to weddings and jobs to crises in the family and the government, the BJP was ready to believe its loss of power had as much to do with unfavourable astral conjunctions as other political factors.
When the BJP leaders rushed to Madan for their only solace after losing the national elections, he foresaw early doom for the Manmohan Singh regime by September, coupled with a split in the ruling Congress under the influence of the dreaded Saturn.
BJP's Monday blues as government 'doomsday' passes: - New Kerala, 27th September 2004.
United States: Midwest Airlines cancelled a flight headed to San Francisco because a passenger found Arabic-style handwriting
in an inflight magazine.
The plane, carrying 118 passengers and five crew members, had already pulled away from the gate at Mitchell International Airport Sunday evening. It returned to the gate, the passengers got off, security authorities were notified, all luggage was checked and the aircraft was inspected. Nothing was found.
The writing turned out to be a prayer in Farsi.
Midwest Airlines Cancels Flight - The Guardian, 21st September 2004.
Namibia: The government has refused, point blank, to allow the ritual 'cleansing' of schools believed to be affected by witchcraft.
In [a circular, sent out less than a month ago] [Basic Education Permanent Secretary, Loine Nyanyukweni Katoma] denounced alleged cases of witchcraft at some schools and expressed her Ministry's concern that teachers and pupils were often wrongly accused of the practice.
Katoma said the policy position of the Ministry was that schools were areas entrusted to impart knowledge based on sound scientific principles and the power of reason.
Ours is not a Ministry for the affairs of witchcraft and superstitions.
The Ministry therefore does not condone the unwarranted mingling of witchcraft in the educational business of our children,Katoma said.
Govt draws line on witchcraft - The Namibian, 16th September 2004.
It's difficult being a young Christian and having to deny nature all the time, Dating to Save People from Hell is an invaluable resource of techniques for scaring away potential dates so that you never get to the stage where you have to resist temptation. (Thank you Andrew Ian Dodge).
South Africa: A somewhat precise wind has blown the roof off a house in Bophelong, leaving nearby houses untouched. The roof had recently undergone extensive extention work, but dodgy workmanship appears not to be an issue:
The incident has left tongues wagging in the area amidst widely held speculation that the wind could have been an act of witchcraft by jealous people allegedly envious of the extensive renovations made to the house.
House blown away by witchcraft
- Vaal Weekly, 3rd September 2004.
United States: A former mayor and bookkeeper of a Texas town have been indicted on allegations that they used taxpayers' money to pay for tarot readings.
48-year old Diana Cortez and 45-year old Sandra Lopez, both of La Grulla, have been indicted for allegedly paying a psychic almost $54,000 for consultations, including tarot card readings.
Indictment: Psychic Paid $54,000 with Federal Funds - KGBT TV, 31st August 2004.
United States: The St. Louis Regional Chamber and Growth Association has sacked a consultant after he started to mix his psychic beliefs with his work. David Levin had been paid $1.4 million over the last seven years to advise the Chamber on leadership and growth issues.
Chamber of Commerce fires its psychic - KTVO TV3, 26th August 2004.
A giant comet will explode in Greece on August 19th, according to Pravda, causing massive disruption of the Olympic Games. The newspaper's source is the ever-reliable Nostradamus, and a spamming net.kook:
Leading newspapers, governmental institutions, public and scientific organizations started receiving anonymous emails this week withTo all people of the Earthin the subject line. The emails warn of a catastrophe which is supposedly to take place on August 13th or 14th 2004 at the Olympic Games opening. The anonymous writer refers to Nostradamus's 10th Century, Quatrain 74. The prophet predicted:The year of the great seventh number accomplished, It will appear at the time of the games of slaughter: Not far from the great millennial age, When the buried will go out from their tombs.
The spammer's date was clearly wrong, but another author has examined the prophecy in more depth and come up with the August 19th date. Just to add to the confusion, someone referring to themselves as World War Three 2003
insisted over a year ago that Nostradamus predicted:
The 2004 Athens Olympics will be canceled due to a major event to take place in late 2003 or early 2004, sometime between Nov 2003 and Feb 2004...........
Nostradamus: Giant comet to collide with planet Earth on August 19th - Pravda, 16th August 2004; Cen.8, Qua.16 Olympic Fiesole 2002-2006 - alt.prophecies.nostradamus, 6th May 2003.
United States: When confronted with the proof of dirty great bones being dug out of the ground creationists still won't admit they could possibly be wrong about that whole bible as truth thing. It seems those big old dinosaur bones are actually from dragons. Who knew?
Continue reading "Loonies Dig Up "Dragon" Bones"Jamaica: Belief in magic is strong in Jamaica, and various illnesses and misfortunes are regularly attributed to obeah. It's good for business too.
Walk into some drug stores downtown Kingston and you will be able to purchase a variety of 'oils'. These oils are chemicals, esters, that are sweet smelling without any real effect. One pharmacist told me that oils account for a significant part of sales. There are oils for success, oils to promote healing, oils to 'tie' someone into a relationship, oil to 'get rid of someone'. Other products include 'compellance powder', 'tan there oil' and 'oil of come back'. Baths, costing up to $10,000, are an important part of these rituals and may be used to cast off evil spirits, to 'wash off' bad luck or promote success.
The author of the article, Wendel Abel, is a consultant psychiatrist and know it's all headology:
My opinion, however, is that although obeah is widely practised in Jamaica, there is no basis for it. People experience personal tragedies every day and a lot of the associations made with someone's experience is both false and coincidental. Contrary to some belief, evil spirits, spells and obeah cannot cause illness. The reality is that there is a number of medical disorders for which there is no adequate treatment or cure. Many persons will turn to the supernatural out of desperation.
For many conditions with psychological bases such as anxiety disorder and depression, healing can take place by suggestion. This is similar to what we describe as 'the placebo effect' in which an individual with pain may get an injection of water and will feel better.
'Dem obeah me!' - Jamaica Gleaner, 28th July 2004.
Scotland: A sub-editor's slip has caused consternation in Innerleithen. A placeholder caption concerning a local tradition where Satan is burned on a bonfire was not replaced before the Southern Reporter went to press.
One of the picture captions ran:Caption, caption about these pious little bleeders and the lady busser doing that interminably boring thing so cherished by Border festivals. What on earth is going on in this picture - these people have got to get out more often for their peace of mind and sanity.
Locals are upset. Norman Scott, the treasurer of the Games Committee told The Scotsman Whoever wrote those words must be at least in league with the devil
. The person responsible has apologised, and Scott has shown true Christian forgiveness, pointing out that if the editor turned up at a meeting He'd probably get lynched
.
Nigeria: A new rumour has appeared - that answering phone calls from certain numbers will cause you to drop dead instantly.
A BBC reporter says experts and mobile phone operators have been reassuring the public via the media that death cannot result from receiving a call.
He says that in such a superstitious country unfounded rumours are common.
A list of alleged killer numbers has been circulated but no-one is reported to have died from answering the phone.
Panic at Nigerian 'killer calls' - BBC News, 19th July 2004.
United Kingdom: The Catholics have to deal with the problems of have an insane misogynist taking dictation from his invisible friend, whereas the Anglicans get the joys of death by committee.
Proposals to divide the Church of England into two — one part with female clergy and one without — are being discussed by Church leaders to avert an exodus of traditionalists when women become bishops.
The Archbishop of York, Dr David Hope, has told friends he believes such a scheme, though highly controversial, is probably the only way to hold the Church together if it decides to consecrate women.
He has privately won support from the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, who agrees the options facing the Church are limited.
Both are worried that more than 300 traditionalist clergy could quit in protest, potentially costing tens of millions of pounds in hardship payments to those who leave.Continue reading "His and Hers Church"
Jamaica: How do you deal with a high crime rate? Perhaps you could do something about corruption in the police? Maybe set up a Civic Dialogue Project to allow the whole community to address issues such as crime, violence and unemployment? Or maybe just stop eating and complain to your imaginary friend?
More than 10,000 Christians led by over 200 pastors are expected to converge on the St William Grant Park in downtown Kingston on August 1, Emancipation Day, for fasting and intercessory prayers asking God to halt the rise in murders, crime and other problems affecting the country.
This isn't the first time this kind of magick has been tried. The first was in 1999. Since then, crime, and murder in particular, has risen in Jamaica.
Christians plan day of prayer to halt crime - Jamaica Observer, 19th July 2004.
Ghana: A stabbing incident at Kumasi High School was not as the authorities suggested, according to a representative of the school's alumni. Mr. Samuel Oduro told a newspaper that the truth would bring ridicule on the school, which is why it had not been mentioned.
According to Oduro, investigations conducted by the old boys revealed that those students went in for concoction elsewhere, which was believed to be containing cutlass juju power that could make themcutlass proof.
So one morning, he said, these students decided to test the potency of their juju by slashing cutlass on each other. And in the process one of them overpowered the rest inflicting several wounds on them.
Because of this, gossips preferred to spread tales about the Taliban and Al-qaeda operating and the school, and school authorities suggested that it was the Muslim students at fault. It was a composition of individuals who belong to diverse religion
, Oduro countered.
Untold story of the stabbing incident at Kumasi High School - Students test their juju powers - The Ghanaian Chronicle, 13th July 2004.
Zimbabwe: Urine therapy is causing a bit of stir, especially the claims that it is helpful to people living with HIV and AIDS. And traditional healers have been quick to point out that it has other benefits too.
Zinatha [Zimbabwe National Traditional Healers' Association] acting manager Mr Hezekias Bhebhe said urine could also be used to diffuse witchcraft by squirting the liquid on the juju or muti. It is also used to cast off witchcraft-induced spells...
...Urine can also be ingested by a person who would have taken poison. It neutralises that poison. If you put droplets of urine in the ear of an unconscious man, he will regain consciousness.
Urine is definitely something we prescribe on a regular basis,Mr Bhebhe said.
Urine As a Therapy to Ailments - The Herald (Harare, via allAfrica.com), 7th July 2004.
Australia: A psychic has predicted a royal wedding at the Holy Trinity Church in Williamstown next February. More stunningly, this is because she has declared that she is really Princess Liala Farouk, the Grand Duchess of Alexandria, daughter of an Italian princess and the Egyptian King Farouk.
Princess Liala said her mother was an Italian 'Anastasia', who was believed to have been killed in a Nazi concentration camp in 1944, but survived.
Liala claims her mother, Princess Mafalda, was given a new identity by Rudolph Hess and left to start a new life in Australia with her three children.
She said her mother had met King Farouk when she was a young woman but travelled to Europe after the war, met him again and married him, bigamously and in secret, shortly before Liala was born.
She claims she has evidence, but won't let it be checked.
Liala said King Farouk was listed on her birth certificate as her father, but she refused to show Star a copy of her birth certificate.
Riddle of the royal bride - The Star, 8th July 2004.
Pastor Best forwards me a press release he received today from Gayhoodoo.com. It all sounds terribly exciting:
The new domain will reveal for the first time, innovative new programming and content, devoted exclusively for the gay sexually enlightened, sensually endowed and spiritually empowered.
Arcanum One, Located in Sacramento, California, in association with the world's leading expert in classical Pythagorean numerology, Hans Decoz, will unveil the first re-translations geared to the current vernacular of the gay lifestyle, and gay lifestyle only.
Gayhoodoo will show how to manifest and use naturally occurring influences (the mathematics of nature) on behalf of gay men and women, and will do so for the first time anywhere. Gayhoodoo guarantees this claim with firm, unalterable resolve.
How can they be so certain about this whatever-it-is? Well, they believe that
gays possess unique sensitivities beyond normal society, and have the innate capability to tap into these hidden forces. The time has now come for these abilities to manifest. Gayhoodoo.com, and Gaynumbers.us guarantees these methodologies will not only empower, but enlighten as never before.
And there's more...
To further enliven the experience, Individually prepared potions, spiritual therapy fragrances, and centuries old ritual, based on time tested methods and procedures with an exotic gay slant will inspire and regain faith and belief in unseen forces, sadly overlooked in today's culture. Gayhoodoo will not only be the first to offer gay potions, it will be the only gay website offering private consultation for both gay men and women, using accurate numerical sequencing techniques and trained intuitive numericists.
But, ultimately, it's about shagging.
Another innovative step will offer the first and only gay matching service that does not use sexual intrigue, psychology, or astrology as a means to finding gratifying companionship. Gaynumbers.us will employ profile matching techniques that accurately predicts compatibility on levels never obtained before. This dating service is free, and to gay men and women, transsexuals, and bisexuals only, and will be directly linked to Gayhoodoo.
Hang on, what about the other T-folk who don't identify as transsexual? Can't be real Californian New Age tripe after all!
India: It seems that the imaginary qualities of houses affect their value in India, and some houses cannot be sold at all.
The words used to describe them vary - cursed, jinxed, haunted - but the basic idea is the same.
These properties scare people away,said Sheikh Pervez Hamid, a real estate broker.
The supernatural is deeply embedded in everyday Indian life, and such practices as astrology and numerology are widely believed, not to mention vaastu, a set of ancient Hindu design principles encouraging harmony with nature.
When former Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee, for instance, left his official residence, Indian newspapers reported that he didn't like certain numbers, and had asked that his new house's address be changed from No. 8 to 6A.
Cursed Mansions Stay Empty in New Delhi - The Guardian, 6th July 2004.
Botswana: The activities of a Village Development Committee (VDC) have ground to a halt because of the members' belief in witchcraft. Whenever there is a problem, no-one will raise the issue for fear that they will be cursed. Facillitators at the umbrella organisation Botswana Community Based Organization Network (BOCOBONET) are exasperated:
Abel Mabei a facilitator from BOCOBONET, told the participants to be vigilant, ignore witchcraft and always elect responsible committee members. Mabei said it was high time people learnt that witchcraft does not exist. He warned that if witchcraft beliefs' overpower their thinking the village would lag behind in development projects. He told the participants that a committee must not sit in office for a long time since it risks becoming redundant. He said a committee must only sit for one term then a new one should be elected.VDC committees should be elected annually so that people don't occupy the same position for long. People should do their part and then go while those who elected them still love them. If they stay long, then you start to see their wrong doings and that's when fear is initiated,he said pointing out that some members were power hungry such that they would do anything to get re-elected.Even witchcraft can be used as a tool depending on people's beliefs,he said.
Mabei said all members in the committee should know that they have the same powers as the chairman and are allowed to challenge him or her. The facilitator said that the chairman is a leader and was not supposed to be feared.You should not treat your leader like a god. The leader is your mouthpiece and should not be feared. If fear rules, you will be oppressed by power hungry people,he said, adding that things are stolen in community projects and people keep quiet out of fear. He said leaders enslave others and personalize organizations by threatening or dividing people through fear and people choose to keep quite hence the whole system collapses.
Witchcraft leads to poor performance of VDC - MMEGI, 29th June 2004.
Tanzania: A Muslim member of parliament has threatened to cast a spell on government ministers if nothing is done to fight corruption.
He told parliament that he would use a Koranic verse to make ministersdrop deadlike locusts...
...Mr [Masoud Haroub] Saidi, MP for Koani in Pemba Isle, said that he decided to turn to the Koran because as a Muslim he believes that it is the strongest method of punishing corrupt elements.
When we [Muslims] want to stop things from happening we use Halbadiri - an Islamic death curse.
Halbadiri cannot harm a clean person. But those people who continue to commit such evil deeds will be affected,he said.
It doesn't sound like the sort of thing a good Muslim would do - I thought Islam had the same kind of downer on magic as Christianity. Anyone know better?
Death curse for Tanzania ministers—BBC News, 25th June 2004.
Nepal: devotees are worried after a statue of Bhima, the second Pandava, started to 'sweat'. Apparently, the holy perspiration always comes before a terrible disaster.
Disaster, most Nepalese believe, has befallen their country every time the image shedssweat. And the catalogue of such calamities is quite long, the most recent one being the 2001 massacre of King Birendra and his family.
In the past, thesweatinghad preceded the 1934 earthquake that killed thousands in Kathmandu, the 1940 hanging of Nepal's first four democracy fighters by the Ranas, the 1950 anti-Rana revolution, the passing away of King Tribhuvan and King Mahendra (grandfather and father of the present monarch) in 1953 and 1972 respectively and the 1988 earthquake that caused destruction in many parts of the kingdom.
Anxious Nepal tries to placate 'sweating' deity - Hindustan Times, 23rd June 2004.
United States: As if it wasn't bad enough that IT workers were losing their jobs to overseas outsourcers, now the Catholics are outsourcing prayers to Indian priests.
With Roman Catholic clergy in short supply in the United States, Indian priests are picking up some of their work, saying Mass for special intentions, in a sacred if unusual version of outsourcing.
American, as well as Canadian and European churches, are sending Mass intentions, or requests for services like those to remember deceased relatives and thanksgiving prayers, to clergy in India.
About 2 percent of India's more than one billion people are Christians, most of them Catholics.Continue reading "Catholic Church Outsourcing Prayers To India"
Italy: The lovely Feòrag passed this on to me before she departed for her tour of the continent. Well, bits of it. All right, the fine purveyors of beer in Berlin.
It seems that the plods in Milan are either incredibly lazy, superstitious or both. When confronted with the bodies of two teenagers, rather than investigate, they jumped to the astounding conclusion that, as they were both members of a metal band, their deaths were the work of Satanists.
A gruesome find in a wood outside Milan has sparked fears that bored young Italians could be coming under the influence of Satanic cults.
The news has caused an outbreak of soul-searching in Catholic Italy.
Even hardened police officers were shocked by what they found outside the sleepy commuter town of Busto Arsizio.
Two teenagers' bodies were discovered in a makeshift grave, killed — police say — as part of a satanic ritual involving sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Hmm... sex, drugs and rock and roll, in my part of the world we call that a party.
Continue reading "Lazy Cops Blame Satan"United States: A sect of loony fundies in New York, obviously of the belief that there's nothing more important to worry about in the world, have their knickers in a twist over crusteceans in their drinking water.
Orthodox Jews in New York have become concerned that the city's drinking water may not be kosher because it contains tiny crustaceans known as copepods.
The organisms, which measure about a millimeter long, pose no threat to human health, according to the city Department of Environmental Protection. But Orthodox teaching bars the eating of crustaceans — aquatic animals with skeletons outside their bodies, including shrimp, crab and lobsters.
The organisms first came to the attention of Jewish leaders in Brooklyn two weeks ago, The New York Times reported Tuesday. An Israeli produce company that exports kosher vegetables to New York alleged that its products had become infested with insects after being washed in the city's water.
If you're a company involved in water filters or bottled water it looks like scaring the insane is a great way to boost business.
Orthodox Jews Worry Water Isn't Kosher - AP, 1st June 2004.
United States: Canada has found a novel way to rid itself of the more loony fundie elements in its midst, they ship them to the US where they fit right in.
Two Pentecostals got a tad carried away in New York this week by announcing that the 11 Spetember attacks were a damn fine reason to pray. Perhaps, if you're so inclined, but making a loud declaration on a plane about to take off is probably not the best way to go about it.
Two preachers grounded a flight leaving Buffalo, New York, after they frightened passengers by declaring the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks were a good reason to pray, officials said on Thursday.Continue reading "Canadian Fundies Infesting US"
Has Disney come up with a challenger to Harry Potter in the Offending Fundies Stakes?
Will. Irma. Taranee. Cornelia. Hay Lin. Together they are W.I.T.C.H. - five ordinary friends with an extraordinary secret - they each have the power to control a natural element. W.I.T.C.H. is the acronym of the first names of the 5 heroines, all of who are 13 or 14 years old and are just like others of their age; they wear trendy clothes, they have fun with their friends, they're classmates.... But they also have magical powers.
And what's worse, unlike Rowling's boy wizard, there are definite references to 'real' neopagan magic:
Will controls energy, Irma commands water, Taranee has power over fire, Cornelia controls earth, and Hay Lin dominates air. The girls use their powers to guard against evil and to uncover the truth behind mysterious portals leading to other worlds.
Unsurprisingly, fundies are not happy bunnies.
Unfortunately, the fantasy that so many people are living is one that's not going to have a happy ending. They will end up in a very real Hell where they won't live happily ever after. One thing is for sure, the Disney Empire and the "Magic Kingdom" certainly have the ability to captivate minds with its fantasy. In an American Culture that thrives on being constantly entertained, The Disney empire has access into the minds of literally hundreds of millions of people.
Better not let them know about Mahou Shoujo Tai Arusu (Tweeny Witches), then.
Disney Brings the Magic of Friendship to the U.S. with the Launch of W.I.T.C.H. Books - LPWire, 23rd March 2004; Mickey Mouse leading children to Hell - ac18.org, not dated; Disney leading kids to hell? - WorldNetDaily, 28th May 2004; W.I.T.C.H. site (Flash only); Tweeny Witches fansubs.
India: A Sikh cleric wears what he thinks is the largest turban in the world:
[Major] Singh wears a huge tower-shaped turban using 400 meters of cloth, some 100 hairpins, and embellished with 51 religious symbols made in metal. Needless to say, the saint who wears only a blue frock, attracts attention where ever he goes and is pestered with questions about the weight and height of his big headgear.
His motives are purely spiritual, of course, and he hopes to encourage young Sikhs to wear turbans instead of the caps or short hair they prefer.
We want to keep our tradition alive. Those who have taken the pledge to devote their lives to the Sikh gurus, we will help them. We want to carry forward the virtues of life preached by the Sikh gurus,Singh said.
Such a spiritual quest requires appropriate recognition, so he has applied to The Guinness Book of Records. Holy 'Turbinator' eyes record books - Hindustan Times, 26th May 2004.
Niger: Considering the targets, scantily-clad women enjoying the nightlife, I think the local marabouts have hit the nail on the head. They claim the evil spirits
are nothing more than conmen, but the mayor isn't taking chances.
The mayor of Niger's capital has orderedqualifiedsorcerers to chase away evil spirits reported to be making terrifying appearances at night.
Nightlife lovers in Niamey have repeatedly complained of a woman who appears from nowhere, curses and threatens them before vanishing as if she hadContinue reading "Calling All Qualified Sorcerers"evaporated. Young women in skimpy outfits have been particular targets for the evil spirits.
India: There's nothing like ignorance to bring out the loon in people. In today's exciting story, our hero is a total wingnut who needed a reason for the death of his niece. Being a backwoods type, he trotted off to the local witch doctor who nominated a handful of completely innocent women as witches, one of whom is now dead at the hands of said wingnut.
Does anybody see the irony of having a witch doctor accuse people of witchcraft?
It's just two days since Savsinh Makwana and his brother Raman of Jari Bhuzarg village in Dahod killed their their neighbour — a 40-year-old widow. But as he sits in the lock-up of Garbada police station, remorse is the last thing on his mind.
For, he is convinced that he has done the right thing by killing Ditaben Punia Sanghor, who, according to him, is a daakan (witch). His conviction has been reinforced by the fact that when he and his brother hit her on the head with an axe on Friday, she did not bleed.
It is yet another gory tale emerging from the dark world of superstition from the tribal hinterlands of Dahod district. Ditaben was killed by Savsinh and Raman who believed that it was her witchcraft which led to the death of their eight-year-old niece.Continue reading "Woman Accused of Witchcraft Murdered"
Israel: Sally Berkovic has written an interesting article about the fuss over the hair used for wigs by Orthodox Jewish women, touching on the rules, the role of rabbis, and the status of women.
Interestingly, this current scandal broke in the same week as It's Your Turn, an hour-long video endorsing the importance of modesty for women, was shown simultaneously in Orthodox communities around the globe. This international campaign championing modesty is promoted by Bnos Melochim (Daughters of Royalty), an organization that has produced a year-long diary with a daily law of modesty for women to study.
Of course, there are many positive aspects of the Orthodox approach to modesty in a world where the prevailing attitude to women's (and men's) bodies is derogatory. But if the rabbis are the captains of the modesty movement, it is the cadre of women lieutenants that leads the battalion of foot soldiers on the way to higher necklines, more severe head coverings, and ankle-length hems.
As well as the coincidental timing (the issue was first raised nearly 15 years ago, and had been conveniently forgotten), Berkovic wonders why the fuss, when there are many more important issues right now:
While terror haunts Israel every day, while anti-Semitism increases around the world, and while thousands of Jews remain woefully ignorant about the basics of their own religion, you have to wonder. How can it be that the great sages of our generation are concerned once again about women's bodies, women's hair, and women's desires?
Is this really about modesty... - Jerusalem Post [BugMeNot], 19th May 2004; see also Rebuilding the Berlin Wall around the Torah - Pagan Prattle , 14th May 2004.
United States: You've got to admire the snake-handlers. When they get a clue from their invisible friend via one of his fanged emissaries that it's time to go, they take it in their stride.
A preacher bitten by a rattlesnake as he handled it during an Easter service at a rural church died after refusing medical treatment, authorities said.Continue reading "Original Sin"
Israel: Ultra-Orthodox Jewish women are in a tizz after a Rabbi warned them that the hair to make wigs might have been used in Hindu ceremonies.
The storm began four weeks ago, when someone told the rabbis that most natural wigs imported from Europe are actually made of Indian hair. Two years ago, rumors had begun circulating that this hair was bought from Indian priests who gathered it up after the women cut it during a Hindu religious ceremony. This would be a serious problem, since Jewish law forbids the use of objects employed in idol worship (which in Judaism means all polytheistic religions). Apparently many wig-sellers concealed the fact that their wigs, though made in Europe, used Indian hair.
Married Ultra-Orthodox women are not supposed to let anyone other than their husbands see their natural hair, and while some prefer to wear headscarves, a more popular choice is wigs of bright blond hair that falls softly to their shoulders
. And the letter of the Law is clearly more important in this case than the spirit.
People began running around preparing lists of permitted and forbidden wig shops; others demanded that the sellers of wigs made from Indian hair be tried in a religious court. In Bnei Brak, some people even started collecting Indian wigs and throwing them to the bonfire.
So far, the only Hindu hair-cutting ceremonies the denizens of Prattle Towers have found relate to young boys and comments as to what ritual the Rabbi refers to are welcome. A hair-raising fear of idols - Haaretz, 14th May 2004.
Russia: The once-great Russian engineers have lost faith in their ability to produce huge, reliable space launchers and have been routinely using priests to consecrate
rockets prior to launch. They have also admitted making cosmonauts undergo a ritual at a local church. Russia consecrates its spaceships - Pravda, 10th May 2004.
Russia: The Supreme Shaman of Siberia, Toizin Bergenov, has offered to cleanse the State Duma, the parliament building, of evil spirits.
Hereditary shaman considers that in the course of 10 years too much negativity has accumulated in the lower chamber. This negativity, apparently, spoils lives of everyone who works in the building,stated head of the Committee.
The building was apparently cleansed and consecrated by an Orthodox archbishop ten years ago, but this was not enough to deal with the levels of evil found in a building used by politicians:
The Shaman really enjoyed the idea of attracting Orthodox priests to fight Duma's evil. According to the shaman, however, one ritual will not be enough to exterminate all negativity in the State Duma,said a Committee's spokesman.
In order to conduct the ritual, Shaman is willing to come to Moscow in the end of June when theSpirit of the Sunis most powerful, according to him.
Siberian Shaman to cleanse State Duma from evil spirits - Pravda, 8th May 2004.
India: Vedic Astrology may be studied in Indian universities after the Supreme court dismissed a petition brought by a scientist.
Joshi has been a staunch advocate that students should be provided a forum to research in Vedic astrology and allied subjects. The Union government argued that Vedic science was part ofIndian culture and heritage and formed an important part of our ancient science in which India had made substantial contribution to the world.
The petitioners had questioned the decision to introduce the subject in universities at the graduate and post-graduate levels and also paving the way for research in jyotir vigyan at the M.Phil. and PhD. levels.
Bhargava had contended that the guidelines issued by the UGC wereirrational as Vedic astrology could not be held to predict the unforeseen. He also contended that astrology did not qualify to be a subject of study in the university.
Green signal for astrology studies - The Telegraph (Calcutta), 6th May 2004.
United States: No doubt thinking he was taking the law into his own hands, a man accused of killing his family seemed to think that removing his own eye would be fair compensation.
Andre Thomas, the Sherman man accused of killing his wife, son and his wife's young daughter a week ago, quoted a Bible scripture Friday night after he apparently used his hands to pull out his own right eye.
Grayson County Sheriff Keith Gary said Thomas was in a jail cell directly across from the book-in station when he turned his back on the jail staff. Gary said the staff heard a scream, and then Thomas turned around with his eyeball in his hand.
Suspect pulls out own eye - Herald Democrat, 7th April 2004 (via Die Puny Humans).
Ireland: You schedule a concert on a Sunday and you're blamed for everything from disregarding the state religion to being in league with a Jewish conspiracy. There's a nice line in tin foil beanies available to block out the government's mind control rays that should take care of this complaint.
Pop diva Madonna has come under fire from Christians in Ireland after it was confirmed she would play her first ever Irish concert on a Sunday.
Madonna is due to play Slane Castle, 30 miles (50 km) north of Dublin, on Sunday, August 29, the castle's owner Lord Henry Mount Charles confirmed.
He denied that Madonna, who has developed an interest in Jewish mysticism recently, had refused to play on Saturday because it is the Jewish Sabbath.
Continue reading "Madonna Can't Please Everybody"It is the only date and day feasible,he said on Friday.
United States: A 'psychic' who defrauded a woman of $130,000 (US) has been sent to prison for a year and a day. Julia Tan was contacted by the woman to help find a lost cat.
Tan then told the woman she was surrounded by evil spirits but for a $5,000 fee she could get rid of them and return her cat.
Tan later offered to repair the woman'sauraand find her a soul mate for $10,000 in cash. The woman complied, and in April 2003 traveled to Philadelphia to meet Tan and give her $10,000.
Tan sought and received more money by telling the woman she needed to buy special candles from Israel and burn them near images of the woman and her cat in order to remove the evil surrounding them, Anderson said.
After the woman returned to the La Crosse area, Tan convinced her to send still more money for gold jewelry that Tan claimed she needed to drive away evil spirits.
The woman eventually contacted the FBI after the cat failed to return. 'Psychic' sentenced for fraud - La Crosse Tribune, 2nd April 2004.
Someone calling themselves The Snow Queen
is fed up with a particular fashion for names found in the Pagan community, and fluffy Pagans in general.
Fluffy pagans believe that nature is a happy, bouncy place where little bunnies cuddle up with the fuzzy tigers and no one ever gets turned into a goon or, well, eaten. The vast majority of members in the Ministry of Silly Names are more or less fluffy. Yet they continually choose predatory animals for their namesakes! Or even better, carrion birds like ravens. Nobody wants to be a prey animal, no matter how genteel they think the law of the jungle is.
The contributors to this fine publication would like to point out that the rant is neopagan-specific (via Larry).
Israel: Three members of an Israeli tank maintenance unit have died recently, and not due to the usual things members of the military die of. So, obviously the base must be cursed. A rabbi was called in to perform a Kabbalistic exorcism involving 100 shofars. Although the ceremony took place during the soldiers' own time, one senior officer was not amused.
MK Ilan Shalgi called the event avoodoo ceremony.He said,This puts the IDF in line with the Zulu and Tutsi armies in Africa. Primitive tribes hold such official witchcraft rituals and I suggest that the IDF appoint a senior witchcraft officer instead of its chief rabbi.
Despite the date, the story did not appear until after midday. Rabbis blow shofars to exorcise curse at IDF tank base - Israel Insider, 1st April 2004.
United States: Usually when goats are mentioned around here it's in the context of silly buggers killing them. This time it's a wingnut goat collector who blames his obsessive goat collecting problem on his religion — Buddhism.
State officials are investigating a man whose goats and his religious convictions against killing them have collided in a possibly inhumane and definitely stinky way.
There were three goats on the farm Chris Weathersbee's mother bought seven years ago. Now there are 300 — including 70 living in his house, much of which is covered with a mix of goat droppings and hay.Continue reading "Goat Collecting Buddhist"
Angola: Many children seem to be cursed these days in the impoverished hinterlands of Angola — accused of witchcraft by their loony fundie families, then systematically abused, abandoned and even killed for imagined acts of witchcraft.
The scale and viciousness of the attacks on so-called criancas feiticeiras, or child witches, confounds even hardened human-rights workers in the war-haunted country, and some said the abuse is one of the most disturbing outbreaks of domestic violence seen in Africa in recent years.
In Uige, a sleepy hill town near the Congo border, children's advocates said that a teenager accused of sorcery was set ablaze by a mob that included his own relatives. Another boy was buried alive, beneath the corpse of a man he allegedly hexed, rights workers said. The luckier children are merely banished from their homes. They roam the streets like pariah dogs, surviving hand-to-mouth off food scraps from the markets.Continue reading "Child Witches Murdered"
United States: An American Airlines flight had to be cancelled after someone describing themselves as a psychic warned there might be a bomb on board. The plane was searched with sniffer dogs after the psychic called in the tip. Nothing was found but, by the time the search was done, the crew were out of hours and unable to operate the flight.
The purported psychic's call wasunusual,conceded Doug Perkins, local administrator for the federal Transportation Security Administration director.
But in these times, we can't ignore anything. We want to take the appropriate measures,"he said.
Psychic tip prompts bomb search on plane - CNN, 27th March 2004 (via Electrolite).
A group of scientists, teachers and astronomers plan a giant scale model of the Solar System, with the Earth located at Jodrell Bank in Cheshire. Saturn would be placed in Lancaster, but according to the local paper, the intention is to encourage children to develop an interest in science and astrology
! City joins the solar system - Morecambe Today, 24th March 2004.
Angola: Religious leaders, who cause more problems amongst HIV ravaged areas than anything, have been urged to drop their prejudicial whining and to get off their arse and help people instead.
Angola, emerging from almost three decades of civil war, faces the threat of a massive spread of HIV/AIDS and religious leaders must join the fight against the pandemic that has ravaged much of Africa, Christian Aid said.
Official statistics put prevalence rates in Angola at between five and seven percent, but Rachel Baggaley, head of Christian Aid's HIV unit, said the figure could soar to over 20 percent within five years if the country did not act immediately.
Continue reading "Religious Leaders Urged to Stop Spreading Lies"The church and other faith-based organisations have a massive role to play in HIV prevention and care,she said.The church is part of the problem. Church leaders often stigmatise people living with HIV and are not compassionate or open about HIV.
United States: Azogue, a popular folk medicine is causing concern among authorities in New Jersey. Felix Mota, voodoo priest and owner of a botanica, who refuses to sell it, explains:
It speeds the magical effects of spells cast for the loveless, the luckless, and the sick, some believe. It is a talisman to the gambler, a protector against the evil eye. Some sprinkle it in rooms, cars -- even baby cribs -- for protection.
The problem? It's mercury.
Researchers say mercury is used in two ways: as part of an organized religion, such as Santeria, Espiritismo, or voodoo, where priests imbue it with spiritual power in certain rituals, or in cultural or superstitious practices in which people believe it brings good luck.
People buy it to put in candles -- candles for money, for love, to pray for somebody,Mota says. He used to put a drop of mercury in perfume or bath oils, to spread over the body for good luck, but he doesn't anymore.
I tell people, 'Don't use it. It's so dangerous.'
One woman Mota treated six or seven years ago had swallowed mercury at the instruction of a santero, a Santeria priest, before she came to the United States.
Mercury as Folk Potion Sickens Users, Pollutes New Jersey Waterways - The Miami Herald, 16th March 2004.
Taiwan: Forget the fact that President Chen Shui-bian has made a mess of the economy and annoyed neighbouring countries, according to a fortune teller, he will lose the forthcoming election because his nose is too small.
The size of a leader's nose has a direct relation to the fortunes of the country they lead,"said Fan [Yun], who mans one of the many small fortune-telling booths that line a pedestrian underpass near the Hsin Tien Temple in Taipei.
Everything about Chen's face is small and that's why the last four years have been so bad,she said, referring to the economic downturn that hit the island's economy a year after Chen swept to office in 2000.
Never mind the fact that Chen's face was graced with the same nose when he trounced his opponent, Lien Chan of the Nationalist party, four years ago.
Others disagree - it's not his nose that signifies defeat, but his complexion which indicates he will win.
To gauge a person's fortune, you have to look at their complexion and Chen's appears very bright as you can see from his ruddy cheeks,said Cheng Wen-kuei, a fortune teller who said he has been in the business for more than 20 years.
Astrologers don't want to miss out on the free publicity either.
Born in 1950, the Year of the Tiger in the Chinese zodiac, Chen will not gain much help from the heavens in 2004. This is the Year of the Monkey, which usually spells difficulties for tigers, say the fortune tellers.
On March 20, Chen's luck will flow like the Yellow River, dirty and unclear,said Joe Lee, who sits at a small fold-up table in the underpass, reading from the astrological chart he has drawn up for the president.
Chen's term as president will end on that day,said Lee, who said he had accurately predicted the date on which the United States launched its strike on Iraq last year.
And let's not forget Feng Shui. Chang Hsu-chu, Chinese Geomancy Research Association chair, thinks the Nationalist challenger Lien Chan will prevail, because of where his ancestors were laid to rest:
Lien and his running mate James Soong's ancestral grave sites are both located in the First Public Cemetery in Taipei's Yangmingshan. The area is shaped like a dragon and widely known as adragon cave,which is believed to bring prosperity to the offspring of those laid rest there, according to Chang.
Besides, Chang points out that the Lien family burial itself resembles the shape of a phoenix and the tomb of his late father is situated right on thewing of the phoenix.
Grass and trees are two important harbingers in geomancy. The lush green in the surrounding area of the Lien family burial is a sign of good fortune,he says.
Taiwan president's nose too small for re-election - Swissinfo, 18th March 2004; Graves, noses clues to election outcome - The China Post, 17th March 2004.
Update: Chen won.
I wondered how long it would take before the newspapers asked astrologers about the significance of the newly-discovered, might-be-a-planet, Sedna. What's surprising is that it isn't a US tabloid, but The Scotsman! They asked three astrologers about it, and Anna Estaroth of The Astrology Centre in Edinburgh told them:
In Sedna they've chosen an Inuit goddess rather than a Greek one. At the moment we have a whole issue about sea conservation and the ruining of our fishing industry and Sedna is supposed to be the goddess of abundance. On the plus side you might argue there is a symbolism for improving our fish stocks and also we don't want to lose our fishing industry, so it's symbolic that she's turned up at this very crucial stage.
Morelle Smith only party agrees:
To me, what immediately comes to mind is the interconnectedness of the whole planet. On the negative side, we have the unpredictability of terrorist attacks and the uncertainty of weather, climate and a variety of ecological changes, some of which are a direct result of humanity's abuse of the Earth and its natural resources. On the positive side, we have contacts, communication and relationships with people from parts of the world that only a handful of years ago we knew very little of, so we are able to see our similarities and points of contact with all other human beings, however different their customs, cultures etc; the internet has been invaluable here.
It's written in the stars - The Scotsman, 17th March 2004.
United Kingdom: Dr Stephen Unwin, Manchester University graduate and professional wingnut, has calculated that there is a 67% chance that God exists.
Dr Stephen Unwin has used a 200-year-old formula to calculate the probability of the existence of an omnipotent being. Bayes' Theory is usually used to work out the likelihood of events, such as nuclear power failure, by balancing the various factors that could affect a situation.
The Manchester University graduate, who now works as a risk assessor in Ohio, said the theory starts from the assumption that God has a 50/50 chance of existing, and then factors in the evidence both for and against the notion of a higher being.
Factors that were considered included recognition of goodness, which Dr Unwin said makes the existence of God more likely, countered by things like the existence of natural evil — including earthquakes and cancer.
Aloysius finds the whole claim a bunch of old cobblers.
Continue reading "God Equation Total Bollocks"United States: What weird fetish involves not allowing your feet to touch the earth? Isn't that the sort of loony direction Howard Hughes was heading before he popped his cogs?
For days now, the job at Eisenhower Park in Nassau County has been to follow the order from the White House through the Secret Service and down to the park workers:
Continue reading "The Earth, It Burns"The president's feet are not to touch the dirt...
Christian researchers have been disappointed to discover that education is the main factor in people rejecting imaginary friends. They divided unbelievers into five categories - U1 to U5 - with U5s least likely to accept religion.
More than 39 percent of the U5s had a master's or doctoral degree, compared to 14 percent of the total unchurched population. And over one-fourth of the U5s had a doctoral degree, compared to only 4 percent of all the unchurched.
They gave an example of one of these terrible people, 'Mark J.', who stated The more education you receive, the more you realize that religious beliefs just don't make sense.
And Christians turn him off Christianity more than anything else:
The Christians I know pray for everything,he lamented.I can't stand it when they pray for trivial things that just aren't important. In my mother's church, some of the people were praying for their new pastor to find a good place to live. Isn't that ridiculous?
U5s Are the Most Educated Among the Unchurched - Church Central, 11th March 2004.
United States: On Monday night, a ritual inside Patchogue, New York's Southside Masonic Lodge No 493 ended with the accidental killing of a new initiate. Another member shot him in the face. The shooter was carrying two guns, one with blanks and one with live ammo, and grabbed the wrong one during the ritual — doh! Both the shoter and the initiate were old enough to know better.
The shooter, a 76-year-old Mason, Albert Eid, was carrying two guns, a .22-caliber handgun with blanks in his left pocket, and a .32-caliber gun with live rounds in his right pocket.
He reached into his right pants pocket, pulled out the wrong gun and shot William James, a 47-year-old fellow Mason, in the face, killing him, the authorities said.Continue reading "The Masons Have Had a Rough Couple of Days"
Haiti: The Telegraph isn't exactly renown for its journalistic integrity, and in a prime example of their love of Bugger the facts. What's the spin?
we have the delightful story of President Aristide's kidnapping by the US military ignored in favour of voodoo being at fault.
The rise and fall of Mr Aristide, its first democratically elected leader and an ordained Catholic priest who adopted as his symbol the cockerel, a voodoo icon, illustrates this. Mr Aristide, whose library contained many books on the national religion, was guilty of the voodoo equivalent of hubris and then struck down by its version of nemesis, several voodo priests said this week.Continue reading "Aristide a Victim of Voodoo"
Mexico: Catemaco is known for its witches, and last Friday was a particularly important day for those who seek their services. And some, at least, have heeded the words of Granny Weatherwax:
He puts on a black cape and hood when required to undo somebody else's black magic and shows off scars he says he acquired when he almost lost control of the devil.
Rafael Aguirre attends his patients in a bright white, air-conditioned room, wearing a three-piece white suit with a tie and breast pocket handkerchief - his celestial aura augmented by piped music.
Aguirre acknowledges that much of his gift has nothing to do with devils or saints and boils down to a talent at psychological manipulation. But he insists the work is for the good of his patients.
Witchcraft, Capitalism Thrive on Magi - The Ledger, 6th March 2004.
United States: It seems that in the backwaters of Michigan, conservative
is easily confused for stupid
. The local muckraking telly station is a mouthpiece for those of a loony fundie persuasion and seems to cast a far wider net when looking for things that could be classed as stroke mags.
The local TV station had been running radio promos for a story about a local school magazine fundraiser that included anadultmagazine. It's a conservative area, so we figured maybe they accidentally got order forms with Playboy, or maybe the locals were just throwing fits over FHM and Maxxim.
Nope — the adult magazine in question was Asimov's Science Fiction.
In Which I Discover My Wife's Adult Magazine Collection—Brian.Carnell.Com, 16th February 2004 (via BoingBoing).
One of Scotland's most notorious cranks has died of lung cancer. Pastor Jack Glass believed the disease was a direct attack by Satan himself. He was a loving, Christian man:
He hit the headlines after organising a protest to coincide with the Papal visit to Scotland, which he argued violated the British Bill of Rights.
Pastor Glass also picketed Billy Connolly's shows after he was angered by one of the comedian's sketches based on the crucifixion.
An angry pastor was reported to have said:If the Forth was lava, I would throw him in.
More recently, he had fallen for one of popular culture's more obvious trolls and had been campaigning against Marilyn Manson. Pastor Glass loses cancer fight - BBC News, 25th February 2004.
United States: Among other things, the recent Vanity Fair article describes how loony fundie John Ashcroft fears calico cats, how he attended opponent Mel Carnahan's funeral against the family's wishes, how Ashcroft's father put him at the controls of a plane with no training at age eight and how parts of Justice Department boilerplate were altered because they conflicted with the Seven Deadly Sins.
At 61, he is a devout member of the Assemblies of God, a Pentecostal denomination that disapproves of drinking, dancing, and pre-marital sex. As a boy, he never went to the movies, because, he has said, his parents told him,Continue reading "John Ashcroft Is Insane"If you pay 15 cents to get into a movie, 7 cents of that will go to support a Hollywood lifestyle we disagree with. But he is not indifferent to power and its trappings — indeed, he harbored strong presidential hopes as late as 1998 — and it is in his nature to combine piety with ambition. In 1995, for example, when he became the junior senator from Missouri, he was anointed by friends (in the style ofthe ancient kings of Israel, he has noted) with Crisco oil from the kitchen...
Garry Otton, whose Scottish Media Monitor examines the treatment of sexuality in the Scottish media and is printed monthly in SCOTSGAY magazine
is on form this month:
As the Church disintegrates around us, the voices of its militants become ever more shrill. There was an Almighty fight going on in the playground over campuses shared by Catholic and non-denominational schools. And who had we at the centre of the fight? Well, well, well! If it wasn't our old friend, Religion! Reporter Graham Grant in The Scottish Daily Mail casually described the spat over thebringing together of children of different faiths. Faith is only ever imposed on children. They're not born with one and there's precious little evidence of it bringing anyone together! (Not counting mass graves). Catholic Church militants threatened to pull out of a £150m public-private partnership scheme to create seven shared campuses. Their demands included separate entrances, staff rooms, libraries, and -- I kid you not -- separate Catholic and non-denominational lavatories! Even convent-educated Old Mother (Joan) Burnie gasped in The Daily Record:Is there really a difference between a Catholic and a Proddy willy?
Time to Declare War on Militant Religionists says Garry Otton , Scottish Media Monitor, March 2004.
Karen Armstrong, a writer on fundamentalism, has penned an interesting article in today's Grauniad. She starts with the observation that children know what to read, and it tends to be the sort of stuff parents would rather they didn't.
In fact, the best children's classics have always evoked the dark side of life. Alice's Wonderland reveals the arbitrary demands and heartless craziness of the adult world from a child's perspective. The sinister menace of the Wild Wood is a constant threat in The Wind in the Willows. In the novels of Frances Hodgson Burnett, children are regularly abandoned, bereaved, neglected and ill-treated. Some parents would prefer their children to read books that are more upbeat, but Wilson's success and the endurance of these classics remind us that children know instinctively what is best for them, and find that their worst fears become more manageable when they are made explicit. It seems that many children have not yet succumbed quite as fully as adults to thepositive thinkingthat is fast becoming a social orthodoxy.
She then observes how society doesn't like to cofront pain and suffering--An acquaintance once told me that quite the most difficult aspect of her cancer was her friends' strident insistence that she develop a positive attitude, and her guilt at being unable to do so
--before noting that fundies are the worst offenders.
United States: Too cheap for a Valentine's Day gift? The fundies in Texas have the perfect thing, promise your beloved that you'll stop looking at porn. I'm sure that idea's really going to go over well with your other half when you lob up empty handed, you cheap bastard.
Chocolates are always nice, and a diamond necklace would be delightful. But a Dallas-based ministry thinks it has a better idea for Valentine's Day.
Continue reading "Gifts From the Cheap Bastard"Her gift for Valentines? Stop looking at porn,proclaim billboards put up by NetAccountability, a nonprofit software company that aims to help Christians confront thesecret sinof pornography.
United States: People actually buy this stuff. You're too late for this thrilling auction, but you can console yourself that some wally parted with US$280 for a box that came with a tall tale.
Continue reading "Bargain of the Day: Dibbuk Haunted Jewish Wine Cabinet Box"United States: The United States government has decided that people with hearing disabilities are too stupid to differentiate between fantasy and reality. The Depratment (typo deliberately not corrected) of Education has ruled that 200 shows are unsuitable for closed-captioning, and no grants will be given for doing so.
The government is refusing to caption Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie, apparently fearing that the deaf would fall prey to witchcraft if they viewed the classic sitcoms.
The National Association of the Deaf is not amused:
They've suddenly narrowed down the definition of those three kinds of programming without public input,says Kelby Brick, director of the NAD's law and advocacy center.Basically, the department wants to limit captioning to puritan shows. The department wants to ensure that deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals are not exposed to any non-puritan programming. Never mind that the rest of the country is allowed to be exposed.
Censor 'Scooby-Doo'? Words fail - Palm Beach Post, 8th February 2004.
Saudi Arabia: Taking part in the fun of throwing stones at the devil is one of the highlights of the hajj pilgrimage. Unfortunately, the brochures tend to leave out the bit about two million other people wanting to take a crack at the devil too.
At least 244 Muslim pilgrims have been trampled to death in Saudi Arabia at the climax of the annual hajj pilgrimage, the scene of deadly stampedes in past years.
A similar number of pilgrims was also wounded during the stampede, which lasted 27 minutes, said Saudi Hajj Minister Iyad Madani last night.
The tragedy happened after 2 million pilgrims flocked to Jamarat Bridge in Mena to throw stones at pillars representing the devil.
Police and medical teams said the victims were crushed to death.
244 trampled to death in hajj - The Australian, 2nd February 2004.
When I'm flying, I like to think that my safety is guaranteed thanks to the endless vigilance of teams of maintenance engineers, well-trained crews and alert security staff. So seeing this at Edinburgh Airport (EDI/EGPH) one morning isn't too comforting:
(Click for large version) Picture taken 08:35, Friday 16th January 2004. Many airlines have a similar lack of faith in their own competence, and their aircraft have no row 13. The airline I flew with was not one of these.
So, you're a teenager, and we all know how hard it is to not bonk, and those who promote abstinence also know that their ideology is about as sensible as promoting holding one's breath to avoid asthma. So, they have used all their knowledge of teenagers to put together a list of useful suggestion for young couples, which will put all thoughts of sex out of their minds. Suggestions like:
Nope, no possibilities for things to turn sexual in any of that.
Israel: An Israeli rabbi has composed a prayer to help devout Jews overcome guilt after visiting porn web sites while browsing the Internet.
Continue reading "Prayers In Case Of Sin"United States: Kids these days don't smile when they visit Santa Claus, according to research performed by Ig Nobel Prize winner John Trinkaus of the Zicklin School of Business. Professor Trinkaus observed children at two large shopping malls and a major department store, noting each child's facial expression as the children visited Santa Claus. Every child was accompanied by a parent or guardian.
What Professor Trinkaus saw surprised and saddened him. More than 95% of the children were visibly indifferent or hesitant as they approached Santa. Only one percent of them smiled or showed other signs of happiness. On the other hand, Professor Trinkaus noted, nearly all of the parents were visibly quite happy and excited.
Continue reading "Santa Researcher Makes List, Checks It Twice"Indonesia: It's Indonesia's biggest secret. Most of its women have been subjected to an operation which the World Health Organisation says is unnecessary.
Hospitals across Indonesia are offering new parents a one-price surgical package for their just-born girls — when they pierce their ears, they'll circumcise the girls as well.
Continue reading "Female Circumcision Surgical Package"United States: Patricia Parra, a 60-year-old bell ringer for the Salvation Army who suffers from cerebral palsy, was working at a store in South Tucson, Arizona, when Edward Sanders grabbed her collection kettle, containing all of $54, and ran. As he dashed across the street to make his getaway he was run over by a car.
Scrooged - Tuscon Weekly, 1st January 2004 (via Dodgeblogium).
Lucky charms don't improve a carrier's chance of winning the lottery, but they do make them feel luckier, which has beneficial knock-on effects on confidence and success.
The study, by Professor Richard Wiseman of the Psychology Department of the University of Hertfordshire, found that carrying a charm had no effect on the chances of choosing winning lottery numbers.
But 30% of those tested felt their luck had improved.
Nearly all those who did report increased luck had said prior to the study that they expected the charm to work, suggesting the charm's efficacy was based on expectation.
It's All in the Mind - The Scotsman, 5th January 2004.
So, how many ways will the world come to an end in 2004?
Continue reading "Annual end-of-the-world post 2004"
Australia: Christian religious leaders are in a tizzy because the latest census shows massive increases in the numbers of people describing themselves as Pagan
, witches
and atheists
. Although the numbers are still tiny, National Church Life Survey researcher Ruth Powell, claimed After 2000 years of dominance, some people say we are now moving into the post-Christendom era
and said that if churches did not act, the Christian epoch could come to an end.
Catholic Cardinal George Pell, who undoubtedly eats pork and wears mixed fibres, declared people were being lost to a pick'n'mix belief system the goal of which he described as "selfish" inner tranquillity
.
Christianity's toughest test of faith- The Australian, 27th December 2003.
A group of evangelists has decided to encourage comments about them talking out of their arses by making themselves fart more. Having noticed that no-one is going to church any more, and especially not young people, Mission Scotland are organising events such as curry nights to to make connections with people who don't have any church background
. Our Father, give us this day our daily nan bread - Edinburgh Evening News, 26th December 2003.
Japan: A train conductor facing punishment for smoking on duty has an original explanation for his actions: It was the first time I'd ever done something like this. I was possessed by a demon
. 'Possessed' conductor lights up on train - Mainichi Daily News, 21st December 2003.
Nigeria: Ashi Terfa, a traditional doctor in central Nigeria, has been shot dead by a patient, Umaa Akor, who was testing the potency of an anti-bullet charm the herbalist had prepared for him.
To confirm its efficacy, the herbalist tied the charm around his neck and insisted that Akor should fire a gun at him. The experiment proved fatal for the herbalist and his skull was shattered,he [police spokesman Bode Fakeye] added.He died immediately.
'Bullet-proof' man shot dead - News24, 17th December 2003.
Philippines: An anonymous presidential palace official has declared that a hand gesture used by opposition candidate Raul Roco is really an evil, Satanic symbol. He says he got his information off the net. The offending gesture is used in American Sign Language to mean I love you
and is widely understood by young Filipinos. A representative for Roco commented:
This Palace official is totally desperate. It's a sign of desperation. It's not within the normal realm of imagination to research on the Internet and link satanism to a hand symbol that's been universally known and accepted as 'I love you,'he added.
Roco camp chides Malacañang for saying hand signal 'satanic' - The Manila Times, 16th December 2003.
Australia: The outgoing director of the National Museum of Australia, Dawn Casey, has complained that politically-motivated members of the council have behaved in bizarre ways to prevent her doing her job. They seem to have some interesting opinions too:
Mr Barnett distrusts the museum's staff, dislikes its exhibitions and claims still that the museum's architecture was deliberately encoded with sinister messages,she says.
He imagines, for example, that the night sky ceiling of tiny twinkling lights at the entrance to the First Australians gallery is an encoded reference to the Holocaust. This makes just as much sense as saying it endorses astrology or witchcraft. These and other bizarre assumptions have been politely refuted and disproved again and again, but continue to be offered as evidence of the museum's problematic bias - despite rejections of bias by the museum's recent review,Ms Casey writes.
Casey's farewell to 'white-anters' - The Weekend Australian, 15th December 2003.
United States: Proving that weird fundy phenomenon of seeing god in a potato, the latest object they have latched onto is a movie; Groundhog Day
. The Museum of Modern Art has included it in it's The Hidden God: Film and Faith
, retrospective of religious films.
Don't think that it's just one flavour of fundies who believe that the movie beautifully expresses Christian belief
, apparently Groundhog Day
crossed all religious boundaries. Rabbis are using it because of its illustration of the Jewish faith and the Buddhists are claiming it is quintessentially Buddhist.
Germany: Frithjof Schwesig, vicar in the southwestern town of Lampoldshausen, ordered 300 copies of a video film portraying the life of Christ as told by the gospel according to Luke.
Unfortunately there was a wee bit of a mix up at the Munich video copying plant when they accidentally sent through the wrong movie. At a marathon viewing session that night, the good vicar and his staff established that 200 of the videos were pornographic.
Continue reading "The Lord Moves in Mysterious Ways"South Africa: South African-based health workers and researchers are struggling to educate the public about safe sex, but it's a tough battle when they are have to combat some of the insane myths about the disease.
Continue reading "Fighting the Myths of AIDS"Israel: You'd think the population of Tel Aviv would have more pressing concerns, but a municipal vet has banned a black cat from the stairwell of a block of flats because some residents are scared of him.
Even if this reaction is based on superstition, people who are afraid of the cat should not be forced to encounter it on the stairwell, particularly when the area is not illuminated,the letter said. It ordered the couple to carry the cat when walking down the stairs.
Kooshi's minions are contesting the order and have contacted an experienced animal rights lawyer, who said that the order is illegal.
The city of Rishon Letzion doesn't have a leg to stand on,he said.A veterinarian can issue an order like this only if an animal constitutes a threat to public health or to public order. Kooshi is clean, he's been vaccinated and neutered, and is extremely well mannered. He's being singled out only because of his color.
Black Cat Banned From Tel Aviv Stairwell - Yahoo! News, 2nd December 2003.
Kenya: Anti-AIDS campaigners complain that their efforts to prevent the disease are frustrated by traditional beliefs:
Leaders attending an Aids conference in Kisumu said self-proclaimed cultural experts were using a Kenya Broadcasting Corporation radio programme -- Abila -- to frustrate the fight against the disease by linking it to witchcraft...
...Talks on the Luo culture by some elders are retrogressive. They make people believe that Aids doesn't exist and instead link all illnesses to chira (curse),Ms Oketch said.
Rather then using it as a hook to get people talking about AIDS, the campaigners wish the community would be a little less sex-obsessed:
Moi University Chancellor Bethwel Ogot urged the community to stop some customs which tied sexuality to all important family events such as planting, weeding and harvesting. Such cultures misled people to believing nothing important could be done in a family without sexual intercourse.
The conference blamed Luo musicians for contributing to the spread of Aids, saying a majority of Benga and Ohangla singers composed songs with strong sexual messages that lured their fans to risky sexual behaviour.
Our musicians sing nothing but sex. Women dancers are barely dressed while on stage and this is a setback to the fight,said Ms Oketch .
She did not explain how HIV passes from exposed flesh on stage to the audience. Cultural traits blamed for Aids spread - Daily Nation, 1st December 2003.
Unlike every other Ultravox song ever, the meaning of Dancing With Tears in My Eyes is crystal clear. But an unnamed contributor to "What You Talking 'bout Willis?" The Meaning Behind Songs of the Eighties hears far too much
The song is more likely about Nuclear disaster or Armagedon than sex. Why? I used a vocal remover on the song and this uncovered a subliminal message (I kid you not)Lord is the Savior(or was itGod..., I can't remember). Anyway, if you want to try it, it's easy to pick out, because it is in an extremely clear human voice, just before the begining of the lyrics. There are plenty of vocal removers on the internet to download. Don't bother trying to hear it without
