Not wanting to step on the toes of What Not to Crochet, but there are some bizarre religious patterns out there. For example, there's this Venus of Willendorf doll. The same designer has also come up with a really impressive Kali and the Virgin Mary, which is an interesting threesome really.
Not a toy, but really, just read the explanation of this pattern: Goddess Blessed Study Bookmark.
Apparently if you electrocute a non-Christian, they will become Christian, and their arse will glow red and be a really inefficient lightbulb. Or something like that, anyway...
The tools that can be made in this pattern are runes of the cosmic energies. While these crocheted runes bear twelve of the most observed and documented energies, you are not limited to the confines of these chosen symbols or to the listed messages that I’ve associated with each of the energies. As you work with each symbol, you blend your conscious (studied) and subconscious (inherent) attributes with the traits of each rune. This blending creates (depending on your intention) a living magical essence that is attuned to you and your intent and / or a divinatory oracle that speaks the language of your unique heart and soul.
To make these runes, you will need; a size 7 steel crochet hook, size 10 crochet thread in the main color and in a complimentary color, large eye needle, cotton balls and optional fabric glue to further secure the thread ends. You can refine the materials list to include choices in thread colors and in herbs, oils and gemstones (that you can mix with or include with the cotton ball batting) to enhance your desired purposes or the traits of the particular cosmic energies.
The difference seems to be that these "runes" aren't runes at all, but astrological symbols.
If you like to crochet, but runes are really not your thing, maybe the Swirls of Stars Tarot Spread Cloth is more up your street?
poured from optically pur acrylic, no caves had to die to let our Crystal Goddess Live!)
You know, you might be wandering down the street, and you can't be sure, but you think there might be aliens in the area. Well, you can now clarify the matter with help from India Daily's simple experiment to find out if an extraterrestrial UFO is in your vicinity .
If you really want to know if an extraterrestrial UFO is really near you, look at the animals and yourself. It is now scientifically proven that super high intensity of electromagnetic flux makes all living beings depressed. Our living soul is electromagnetic energy and it cannot tolerate an influence of an external very high intensity of electromagnetic flux that is uncontrolled by our soul. So all living beings become depressed and the thinking process gets difficult in the presence of extraterrestrial UFOs. When you find all animals are lethargic and you also feel the same, the possibilities are very high that one or more UFOs are near by.
A simple experiment to find out if an extraterrestrial UFO is in your vicinity —India Daily, 5th February 2006.
United Kingdom: Steve Chaloner has set up a second PledgeBank pledge relating to Jerry Springer: the Opera—one that will appeal more to people who don't fancy confronting the managers of their local Sainsbury and Woolworth stores. This one reads:
I will boycott Sainsburys and Woolworths for 6 months due to their banning of DVDs due to religious pressure. but only if 10 other people will too.
I've signed this one, along with 52 others. As the original ban was based on between 10 and 20 complaints (probably nearer 10), that's rather a lot of business lost, and probably none gained.
I will boycott Sainsburys and Woolworths for 6 months—PledgeBank, 8th December 2005.
Short on cash? Really need a luxury yacht, but don't have the pennies to hand? The solution? Open your own "money church", and get the poor to buy it for you! Just follow this simple tutorial from Bad Gas:
Money churches are the next big thing and the equation is a simple one: find a disused warehouse, school or office in a downtrodden area of London; clear it out and then fill it with chairs and a lectern; open your doors to innocent, God-fearing Africans at strange times of the week; whip them up into a religious frenzy, pass thecollection platearound and watch your bank balance grow Thanks Be To God The Lord Saviour Our Reborn King.
A simple list is provided to help you with that all-important corporate identity:Continue reading "Fleecing for Dummies"
There is no shortage of seasonal craft ideas available out there on the web. As an example of the delights to be found, how about How to Dress Trolls as Nativity Scene Figures?
1. Assess your trolls and assign them roles: the most feminine one, of course, will be Mary. Tie or braid the hair for Joseph and the three wise men.
They mean the dolls, rather than large, rocky creatures or net pests, by the way. I wonder if the plush cthulhus would mind being adapted in a similar manner? (via Going Jesus).
United States: If you're a hip young Mormon who wants to look as cool as all the others kids without compromising your religious beliefs — or you're just sick of not being able to find trousers that don't expose your pubic hair — then Jen Magazine has some fashion tips for you.
Jeans too low?
Shirt Too Short, Sheer or Low Cut? Pants Too Low?
Skirt too short? Pants too low or tight?
Can't Find Jeans That Cover Your Stomach?
It may seem a tad odd making Jesus out of a toilet paper roll, but I think the end result is quite nice (Tasha has hers sitting in a place of honor on her bedroom shelf). The craft is made with a toilet paper tube, a printer, a piece of paper, some crayons, scissors, and glue. I always prefer to use a heavy paper (like construction paper), but it isn't necessary.
Colour and mono printable templates are available for download. When you've done that, try the Virgin and Child Toilet Paper Roll Craft. Jewish children might appreciate the Moses Toilet Paper Roll Craft, complete with Ten Commandments. Alas, I could not find a Jael Toilet Paper Roll Craft.
Hallowe'en is fast approaching. Short of ideas for the obligatory pumpkin? Perhaps Extreme Pumpkins can help?
Extreme Pumpkins.com - Pumpkin carving at its wildest!
At what point did the carving of pumpkins turn into acuteevent? When did boys stop carving pumpkins and moms start? Where did we lose touch with one of the years coolest events?
Today we will seize back this ritual. Today is the day we throw away those safe, cute carving tools. Today. We will buy a big, ugly, pumpkin so large one man cannot lift or move it. Today. We will carve that sumbitch into something ugly and plop it on the front porch. October 31st we will light it brightly enough to give visiting children suntans.
Pumpkin carving is reborn.
Welcome to ExtremePumpkins.com where strange pumpkins, pumpkin patterns, and alternative pumpkin carving techniques are developed and demonstrated for you. Pumpkin carving will never be the same.
(via Making Light's Particles.)
United States: I love a good
frighten the fundies away tale and this is one of the more amusing.
I'm sitting on the steps leading up to (and down from, coincidentally) my apartment, smoking. It's five-thirty in the morning. Two Mormon boys appear at the bottom of the stairs.Continue reading "Scaring the Door Knockers"
Mormon boy 1: "Well, don't you look cheerful."
Yours Truly: "I'm contemplating genocide."
United States: The American Family Association is trying to orchestrate a campaign of complaints about an episode of That '70s Show which had a big, grown-up wanking joke in it. To this end, they have provided a link to send the complaints to the relevant authority. Of course, anyone can use it, so Larry did:
Dear FCC Commissioners,
I want to say that the AFA does not understand the import of the first amendment. Furthermore, I am tired of people trying to protect me from things that they don't want their children to see. I am opposed to censorship in any and all forms, especially the ridiculouscrackdownthat has recently been implemented by the FCC.
If you want to fullfill your mandate and improve the utilization of the electromagnetic spectrum to the benefit of the people of the United States, then break up the broadcasting monopolies and encourage diversity in radio and TV programming.
In this project called
Taking Menorah Design into the 59th Century, an amateur hardware hacker uses the $8 commodity USB chipset to brew his own USB-powered menorah, then writes some code to get the shamas to blink arbitrary messages in Morse code.
Think you can find any soap made from saint's relics?. The answer is no, but if you have any such bits of dead person around, it would be a doddle to make using a kit from the Soap Tub. And why do I mention this? Because they also sell ready-made soaps, and have a whole page dedicated to (Christian) religious soaps in wholesale quantities. Imagine what you could do with 100 glittery icthus guest bars of soap!
Make the scariest pumpkin on your street by following these simple instructions for a Jesus O'Lantern.
An ordinary tampon is transformed into a glittering angel with the aid of Suney's Tampon angel pattern -
You would never know she belonged anywhere other than your tree!!!! People have to look long and hard to figure out where that little darlin really is from!!! (via Teresa Nielsen Hayden)
Tibetan Buddhists now have the exciting opportunity to pray using just their home computer.
His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, has said that having the mantra on your computer works the same as a traditional Mani wheel. As the digital image spins around on your hard drive, it sends the peaceful prayer of compassion to all directions and purifies the area.
The Digital Prayer Wheel page gives a number of ways of doing this. Firstly, using the disk drive itself:
To set your very own prayer wheel in motion, all you have to do is download this mantra to your computer's hard disk. Once downloaded, your hard disk drive will spin the mantra for you. Nowadays hard disk drives spin their disks somewhere between 3600 and 7200 revolutions per minute, with a typical rate of 5400 rpm. Given those rotation speeds, you'll soon be purifying loads of negative karma.
OM MANI PADME HUNG on your web site. Thirdly, you can download a screensaver--they have them for MacOS, Windows and DOS. (via Grouse.)
The fundies are sure going to love the latest expansion pack for The Sims - Makin' Magic allows your Sims to
harness the supernatural, casting spells with playful or mischievous intentions.
New gameplay includes making, gathering, and questing for ingredients to brew magic spell recipes. Get help around the house from magical minions, turn pesky neighbors into toads, or make that hard-to-get Sim fall in love with you. But watch out, spells can backfire if you're not careful. Either way, the neighborhood will never be the same.
Now all I have to do is wait several æons until Aspyr gets round to thinking about porting it to the Mac.
So, which biscuits make the best Stonehenge-style stone circles? This question intrigued 100% Kitten, who promptly organised The hengiest biscuit world record attempt
With the use of a very bad camera and a bottle of high quality booze I decided to investigate, and set up the world biscuit henginess championship to decide once and for all. It would be a hard-fought contest for the ultimate title, and the dramatic unfolding of events at the final battle was no let down. Whilst favourites like the Chocolate bourbon confidently assumed that deliciousness was all, paying scant attention to presentation, the prize was stolen by the outsider, that with the least to offer in gustatory pleasure, but the most to gain from the prestige title.
Sign up at Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network web site and receive a recipe for Pat's Age-Defying Protein Pancake:
Pat's Age-Defying Protein Pancakes can:
And Pat shares his cooking tips along the way to help make your pancakes light and fluffy.
- Combat the build-up of plaque in your blood vessels and arteries
- Provide complex carbohydrates to keep your system running at its best
- Provide an excellent source of energy and essential fatty acids, important for good heart health
- Help protect against breast, uterine and prostate cancer
Presumably praying for something positive is anaethema to Pat Robertson. And he apparently did not get the recipe during one of his conversations with God, either:
Disclaimer: Consult with your physician before starting this or any new health regimen or supplement program, especially if you have allergies to any of the listed or related products, or are under the care of a physician or other medical professional, or have any other health problems. No specific health benefit is implied or promised from this recipe.
(via Holy Weblog)
Cherie Marie Leck, the designer of this magnificent crocheted cross does not offer any practical suggestions as to what to do with her creation once you've made it, but I'm sure you'll think of something.
If cross stitch is more your thing, you could make these * Prayer Babies: "My Heart Belongs to Jesus" Boy and Girl *, also available for plastic canvas.
Are you worried about the dangers of mobile phone masts? Don't panic, just make yourself a Tower Buster. According to Metatech, it's
Small and cheap, you can easily make these to join in the war to fight negative energy on earth..
The Tower Buster is a 3oz [84ml] paper cup, like the ones for bathroom dispensers, filled with a half/half mix of resin and metal particles into which I insert a single, funky quartz crystal.
Okay, that's a little vague. Fortunately, the instructions for the Chembuster go into more detail:
METAL PARTICLES: Get some metal particles from a machine shop, recycling yard or a place where they saw a lot of aluminum (sign shops and aluminum fabrication shops are good places to look). I use aluminum for weight considerations, but ANY metal will do. Very fine particles (such as filings from a key-making machine) aren't quite as good as ones that will easily go through a window screen & slightly bigger ones are okay. There really is a wide margin of suitability! .
RESIN: I use polyester resin (used to build fiberglass boats) but epoxy also works, as does envirotech resin from www.eti-usa.com (this sets up very quickly, so you need to be proficient with it). (If you are going to construct many of these units, try to purchase your resin in 5 gallon buckets over the internet, possibly from a surfboard or boat manufacturing supply company. ACE hardware for $12.95 per gallon. Home depot gets $24 per gallon for resin.
On a level surface, pour an inch or so of catalyzed resin into the bottom of the bucket and stir in metal particles until the surface is uniform and flat.
The ratio that seems to work is approx. one part resin to one part metal particles.
An alternative to quartz is to use four hæmatite beads, which apparently work better. When you're done, bury it shallowly within about 300m of the offending mast. Not sure why you should do this at all? Well, according to the article, the mobile phone masts are not what they seem:
The main reason for these transmitters is to enforce compliance to the planned, potentially imminent worldwide tyranny, which is determined to decimate the world's population back to the numbers that existed before the industrial revolution so that they can more efficiently manage humanity, whom they have always considered their chattel (See The Georgian Guidestones at www.radioliberty.com/stones.htm)
Which is something to do with Theosophists, Freemasons, Satanists and all the usual suspects.
A mailing list has been set up for the study group proposed on January 9th. If you are interested in studying the material in the MIT OpenCourseWare module Magic, Witchcraft, and the Spirit World with others online, please sign up here.
Please note that the material to be studied is anthropological and historical in nature. The group is not about learning how to cast spells and going through the suggested readings is a process likely to slaughter any sacred cows you might have regarding the history of witchcraft. You do not have to be Pagan to join, nor is any experience of university level study required. It is recommended that you do read up on the MIT OpenCourseWare project to get some idea of what it is, and isn't.
According to the BBC, the most popular New Year's resolution for 2003 is to learn something new with 44% of us wishing to widen our knowledge over the next 12 months. With this in mind, the MIT Open Courseware project is interesting. It aims to:
It is currently at the pilot stage, and includes materials from representative courses from all five MIT schools. One of those courses is Magic, Witchcraft, and the Spirit World:
This Anthropology course,Magic, Witchcraft, and the Spirit World,focuses on spiritual, magical, and "occult" aspects of human behavior in anthropological and historical perspective. Includes detailed study questions relating to films and thought-provoking discussion topics.
The materials include a lesson calendar and a reading list. Each lesson has detailed discussion questions associated with it. The second half of the course is most interesting, examining the early modern witch hunts and moving onto alien abduction and the ritual abuse myth.
It occurs to me that this material could be used by an online study group, with members reading the texts and getting together via a fourm such as Quicktopic, IRC and/or a mailing list to discuss the questions. Please leave comments!
In the midst of all this kindness, players travel through cities mentioned in the Bible. Careful! Don't land in the Abyss! City Cards, like street cards in Monopoly, give brief biblical descriptions of the various cities. Faith Cards may ask players facts about the cities or to recite Bible verses. The winner of Bibleopoly is the first person to build a church, which requires many offerings.
You start at
In the Beginning...
I've been working on a banner
for our local Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and I've been using
books and web sites on church bannermaking which are full of useful hints
and tips. ChristianCrafters
is much less useful and the results nowhere near as dramatic. Three empty
orange juice cartons become a special Tithing
Bank to remind you where to send your money -
First, give to God
10% or more for church and missions. Counteract Hallowe'en with a Jesus
O'Lantern! Celebrate Christmas by making a Baby Jesus in Wooden
Stable, using lollysticks for the manger and a peanut for the baby
When you've exhausted the extensive range of projects on the site, you can always buy some books from them, like this one on Biblically-themed suncatchers:
W.W.J.S.? Gospel Catchers TM Cost:$5.00 (Shipping $1.25 - international orders slightly more). A fun and innovative way for kids to learn to share their faith with their friends! There's something worse than cooties...it's called sin! Now kids can make Gospel Catchers rather than Cootie Catchers! "What Would Jesus Say?" about Your Sin? God's Judgment? His Sacrifice? Forgiveness? The Second Coming? and Eternity? With W.W.J.S.? Gospel Catchers kids will learn what Jesus would say about some of life's most important questions!
(via everlasting blort).