Red Wolf: January 2004 Archives

January 31, 2004

Polygamy Crackdown

United States: Authorities have got themselves in a tizz over crackdown on polygamy, favoured by the odd isolated fundie Mormon sect. They seem unsure how to even go about it.

The most sensational of the recent incidents has come in the small, tight-lipped community of Colorado City, Ariz. Recently, a power struggle has emerged within the polygamy-oriented sect that dominates the town. Some men have been excommunicated and their wives and children been reassigned to other men...

January 30, 2004

The Ticking Fundie Time Bomb

Iraq: Being badgered by a particular loony fundie whilst at Uni gave Rene Gonzalez a distaste for their kind, especially their dodgy convert the heathens mantra being disguised as humanitarian aid.

It is not a morally right policy. It is racist, arrogant, ignorance, and paternalistic, and the U.S. government should not be collaborating or looking the other way to it. These are the things that later give credence to arguments of chickens coming home to roost. Christian Evangelicals in Iraq are a time-bomb waiting to explode, and you might just be the person near it!

Christian Evangelicals in Iraq: A Time-Bomb Waiting to Explode - Information Clearing House, 25th January 2004.

Fundamentalism has Spawned an Ideology of American Supremacy

United States: George Soros offers an insight into the fundies that run the US.

...At present the country is in the process of committing such mistakes because it is in the hands of a group of extremists whose strong sense of mission is matched only by their false sense of certitude.
This distorted view postulates that because we are stronger than others, we must know better and we must have right on our side. That is where religious fundamentalism comes together with market fundamentalism to form the ideology of American supremacy.

The US is now in the hands of a group of extremists - The Guardian, 26th January 2004.

January 29, 2004

Catholic Segregation Scheme

Scotland: In one of the lamest excuses to get out of a commitment, the Catholic Church is threatening to cut and run on a school scheme unless they're allowed to build in segregation.

Senior Catholic Church officials have said they will to call a halt on the project to use seven primary school sites in Lanarkshire unless they get written assurances that there will be separate entrances, staff lavatories and nurseries for the different faiths.

Catholic Church may pull out of school-share deal in Scotland - The Independent, 27th January 2004.

It's Always the Satanic Cult to Blame

Italy: Almost 20 years after the last murder blamed on the Monster of Florence, investigators have reopened the case because they suspect a Satanic cult ordered the killings and kept body parts as prizes — as you do.

The villa was rented by a doctor, thought to have drowned in a Tuscan lake in 1985. But when authorities recently discovered he was a suspected Satanist and had actually been murdered, they reopened their files... Investigators now suspect the doctor was part of a clan that ordered the Monster to kill eight couples.

Storing body parts for 20 years has got to take up some freezer space.

Satanic cult probed in Monster of Florence murders - Reuters, 23rd January 2004.

January 27, 2004

The Word of the Lord via IRC

The Netherlands: Just what you need to get the kids to really connect with the Lord; the original IRC logs to the Bible. As we all know, the Word of God was originally delivered in the form of an online chat.

Jesus Does PowerPoint

Canada: Well, charts at least. With comments to the peanut gallery.

Enough with the leper questions. Let's get back on topic - Graham Roumieu (via HogBlog).

January 23, 2004

Prayers In Case Of Sin

Israel: An Israeli rabbi has composed a prayer to help devout Jews overcome guilt after visiting porn web sites while browsing the Internet.

Pope Pimps Flick

The Vatican: Succumbing to the lure of commercialisation, the grand poohbah of the Catholics touts Mel Gibson's vanity pic.

The Vatican has always been scrupulous in preventing the Pope's name from being linked to commercial products. But after a private viewing of Mel Gibson's forthcoming film about the Crucifixion, Pope John Paul II reportedly commented: It is as it was. For five weeks that pithy, invaluable endorsement of the film Gibson has made with his own money, about the final 12 hours in the life of Jesus, was allowed to stand.

Vatican anger over crucifixion film claim - The Independent, 21 January 2004.

January 22, 2004

Loathesome Combination of Church and State

United States: In an attempt to put the hard word on politicians to tow the Catholic line and oppose abortion and euthanasia, Bishop Raymond Burke, of the La Crosse diocese issued a ten page pastoral letter titled, On the Dignity of Human Life and Civic Responsibility [PDF]. His preferred method of arm twisting is to refuse to allow the offenders to participate in holy communion.

Local reaction to the letter has been mixed both from various fundie groups and from state legislators.

The people of La Crosse can be happy that Bishop Burke will be leaving soon to take up new challenges elsewhere, but the people of St Louis should be aware that their new Archbishop has no qualms about sending a few politicians to hell who happen to vote the way their constituents want them to. It's clergymen like this that led Thomas Jefferson to write about this loathesome combination of Church and State.

Wisconsin Bishop Attempts To Sway Politicians By Denying Communion - morons.oeg, 11th January 2004.

January 21, 2004

Undemonising the Child

United States: Looks like another pair of fundies will be pleading the cast out the devil for your own good defence.

A husband and wife have been charged with murdering a 6-year-old girl whose back was broken in what police said may have been an exorcism gone wrong...

January 20, 2004

Santa Researcher Makes List, Checks It Twice

United States: Kids these days don't smile when they visit Santa Claus, according to research performed by Ig Nobel Prize winner John Trinkaus of the Zicklin School of Business. Professor Trinkaus observed children at two large shopping malls and a major department store, noting each child's facial expression as the children visited Santa Claus. Every child was accompanied by a parent or guardian.

What Professor Trinkaus saw surprised and saddened him. More than 95% of the children were visibly indifferent or hesitant as they approached Santa. Only one percent of them smiled or showed other signs of happiness. On the other hand, Professor Trinkaus noted, nearly all of the parents were visibly quite happy and excited.

Late Holiday Thoughts

United States: Religious musings from the DNRC universe.

If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible, and that's a loophole that the DNRC should exploit, especially during the holiday season.
Imagine, if you will, that all DNRC members moved their holiday gift-buying from December to January to take advantage of the sales. Then imagine that the money saved on gifts is invested at 5% compounded interest for 80 years. You'll be dead by then, but your estates would be worth literally hundreds of dollars, maybe more. Anyway, the point is that it's easier to park at the mall in January, and that's something that Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha would all agree is a good thing. Especially Buddha, if you know what I mean.
Personally, I want a religion that says it's okay for me to RECEIVE gifts, while warning that I'll burn in hell forever if I try to GIVE any. Furthermore, if I open a gift that seems poorly thought-out, it would be my religious obligation to smash it against a wall while the giver watches in horror. Some people might say to me, Hey, where did you get that religion? Did you pull it out of your @$$? But people are polite and rarely ask that sort of question even when you think they should.

A Little Ray of Bitter Sunshine - Dilbert Newsletter 52.0, December 2003.

January 19, 2004

Murder in the Name of God

United States: Instead of running about the Middle East accidentally murdering the populace 'cause all those durn Ay-rahbs look the same, perhaps the Yanks should be looking a little closer to home at the terrorists in their own backyard.

Female Circumcision Surgical Package

Indonesia: It's Indonesia's biggest secret. Most of its women have been subjected to an operation which the World Health Organisation says is unnecessary.

Hospitals across Indonesia are offering new parents a one-price surgical package for their just-born girls — when they pierce their ears, they'll circumcise the girls as well.

January 18, 2004

Taking a Swing at the Guys in Silly Hats

The Vatican: When taking the stage for her part in the recording Christmas concert attended by top Vatican cardinals, bishops and many elite of Italian society, Lauryn Hill took full advantage of her captive audience and took a swing at the Catholic Church's stance on protecting the paedophiles in their midst.

Report Examines Kiddie Fiddling Priests

United States: The Miami Archdiocese has revealed that thirty-eight priests have been accused of sexually abusing children during the archdiocese's 45-year history. It is just one archdiocese of many airing its dirty laundry and forwarding reports to the John Jay School of Criminal Justice for inclusion in a report commissioned by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops.

January 17, 2004

Methodist Church to Try Gay Pastor

United States: Had to keep the title on this one, because I originally misunderstood it to mean that the church was an open, all-embracing community who were having a trial run with a gay pastor, rather than a bunch of loony fundies getting their knickers in a twist and sending the poor woman off to Coventry.

Fundies Dismantling Iraqi Women's Rights

Iraq: With a fundie loon currently chairing the Iraqi Puppet Council under a rotating leadership system, the conservative wankers snuck in a change to the legal system, Iraqi family law will no longer be secular — it is now going to be according to Islamic Shari'a.

January 15, 2004

Mormons Posthumously Baptising All and Sundry

United States: Did you know that many of Hitler's victims were actually Mormons? Neither did he (or any of them for that matter), but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is making sure of it.

Angelic Leaders of the World

Free Press International has compiled just a few of the many photographs mainstream media has been deliberately releasing to the public showing our world leaders with halos. The devil is indeed in the details.

What's The Deal Mainstream Media? - Free Press International (via Boing Boing Blog).

January 14, 2004

Pet Foil Hat Technology

Canada: Before your pet's brainwaves are hijacked by the government, invest in a Pet Foil Hat Technology (PFHT).

January 12, 2004

Poetic Justice

United States: Patricia Parra, a 60-year-old bell ringer for the Salvation Army who suffers from cerebral palsy, was working at a store in South Tucson, Arizona, when Edward Sanders grabbed her collection kettle, containing all of $54, and ran. As he dashed across the street to make his getaway he was run over by a car.

Scrooged - Tuscon Weekly, 1st January 2004 (via Dodgeblogium).

Dirty Secrets Aired in Public

United States: Mark Morford capures the essential stupidity of harassing innocent people in the name of security by pointing out that anybody's dirty secrets could be aired in public.

And look there, look how that conservative Christian U.S. congressman is just so red faced and enraged when they search through his manly black Samsonite carry-on and find, well, not just a nice new Bible and clean white Jockey underwear and assorted envelopes of cash from the director of Destroy Gay Marriage Now! of Colorado Springs, Colo.

Look there, just under the argyle sweaters and the signed head shot from Pat Robertson, at the stash of sticky Honcho magazines and some Hello Kitty Speedos and, lo and behold, the metal in the congressman's boots induces an unfortunate backroom strip search, where what do we see but the assorted bright red welts of spankdom as incurred from Mistress Carlita's Pleasure Bunker in downtown Phoenix, from the night before. Oh, Congressman.

Scenes From A Sad Airport - SF Gate, 9th January 2004.

January 10, 2004

Christmas Ornaments are Evil

Saudi Arabia: The morality police are out in force and they are determined to stamp out annoying commercialised Western holiday paraphenalia.

January 9, 2004

Changing Attitudes, One Soap at a Time

Israel: The Middle East Non-Violence and Democracy group created a radio soap opera — Home Is Our Home — targetted at young Palestinians and aimed at promoting nonviolent resolution to conflict.

Tug of War Over Jesus

United States: If Nicholas Kristof's predictions for a presidential campaign bent on grovelling to the moral moronity of the loony fundie faction prove true, the we will soon be up to our eyeballs in stories from the lunatic fringe gone mainstream.

January 7, 2004

US Fundies Pushing Their Own Foreign Policy

Israel: The evangelical fundies, having found the pleasures gained in fleecing the gullible are waning, have started flexing their muscles in the arena of foreign policy. They seem hell-bent on rewriting history to serve their fairy tale belief in the end times, by bringing in about in their own lifetime.

Praise the Lord and Pass the Sunscreen

United States: With a long history of prudish behaviour and a culture that glorifies violence and fears sex, Bill Martin may be living in land of wishful thinking with his plans to convert 240 acres of rubbish strewn land about 30 miles outside Tampa into a nudist playground for Christians.

January 6, 2004

Religions Cause War — Except Mine

United States: A recent poll in Minnesota shows that most respondents believe religion, except Christianity, has a role in world conflicts.

My Invisible Friend Made Me Do It

United States: Most of us have known bullies and their tactics at some point in our lives. Saul Landau discusses uber-bullies and what happens when a loony fundie uber-bully gets into a position of power.

January 5, 2004

The Politico-Christian Right

United States: It's getting harder for the fundies in power to cover their slips in godliness as they do whatever if takes for personal gain.

Religious Wars in the United States

United States: Brian Morton takes a humorous look at how America is fast turning into the exact thing that supposedly prompted a war on Iraq — being a bunch of intolerant religious fundamentalists devoid of democracy.

January 3, 2004

Bribery and Corruption

United States: Abundant Life Christian Center in La Marque, near Houston have resorted to bribery to get bums on seats.

Michael Jackson, Cult Magnet

United States: Rumour has it that officials of the Nation of Islam, a separatist African-American Muslim group, have shacked up with the singer.

Efforts to reach Jackson through his spokesman were not successful, but his lawyer, Mark Geragos, and The Final Call, the Nation of Islam's newspaper denied the claim. Initially invited to the Neverland Ranch near Santa Barbara several weeks ago to provide security for Jackson, members of the Nation of Islam are now restricting access to him and have begun making decisions for him related to the news media, his business affairs and even his legal strategy, Jackson's friends and associates said.

I would have thought that Michael Jackson is more than capable of behaving like a wingnut of his own accord without the aid of yet another bunch of religious loonies.

Dispute in Michael Jackson Camp Over Role of the Nation of Islam - New York Times, 31st December 2003.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of recent entries written by Red Wolf in January 2004.

Red Wolf: December 2003 is the previous archive.

Red Wolf: February 2004 is the next archive.

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