Red Wolf: August 2004 Archives

August 28, 2004

Bribing the Lost Sheep

United Kingdom: The Reverend Nigel is worried about dwindling numbers of regular churchgoers and plans to bribe recalcitrant attendees with chocolate to get more bums on pews.

A Church of England bishop has adopted a non-traditional approach to tempt his disappearing flock to return to the fold: chocolate.
Some consider it a sin to indulge but the Church of England is holding up chocolate as a potential saviour for its diocese in Manchester, which has been threatened by falling attendances.

August 18, 2004

Fundie Loon Jailed For Exorcism Murder

United States: In a follow up to the story of a fundie loon who killed an eight-year-old autistic boy during an attempted exorcism, the man in question has been sentenced to 2½ years in jail.

Prosecutors say Ray Hemphill lay on Terrance Cottrell Jr.'s chest for at least an hour while trying to release demons from him, before the boy died August 22, 2003.

It was your unreasonable and reckless conduct that caused this child to die, Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Jean DiMotto told Hemphill.

August 10, 2004

More Musings About the Sanity of Fundies from LiveJournal

Next time you're in need of medical assistance, it might be a wise move to avoid to insane religious loons loose in the Alabama medical system.

littledevi: There was this story on All Things Considered about nurses in Alabama who refuse to dispense the morning after pill. One of them went into great detail about how when a teenager asked her for the pill, she felt Christ put his arms around her and tell her, No, no, no. It got me wondering — what percentage of nurses are certifiably crazy? Must be more than a few. You should possess a modicum of sanity in order to care for people, I think.
msmongi: I just told my mother that story (she's been an RN for over 30 years) and she just shouted back Take the cunt's license from her! Considering my mother NEVER cusses, I am vastly amused.

Captive Audience

Turkmenistan: Book not selling well lately? Well, Turkmenistan's president for life has found a way to get his tome into the hands of the people. Aside from mandating that it's crammed down the throats of students, now future licence applicants will need to be well versed in it as well.

Knowing the highway code is no longer enough to get a driving license in Turkmenistan, whose autocratic President Saparmurat Niyazov has told future drivers to cram his sacred writings to qualify.

August 8, 2004

Vatican Targets Sports

Vatican City: The boys in the frocks have taken on a new tack in their eternal quest to convert the heathens, they're going to start pestering people over sport.

The Vatican, long in the business of souls, is now getting into the business of sports. Or more precisely, it is getting into the business of putting the soul back into sports.
The Vatican has set up a department whose stated aim is to help re-inject fundamental values of fairness, ethics, transparency and legality into sports.
Neatly coinciding with next week's opening of the Olympic Games in Athens, the department, called Church and Sport, has been opened as part of the Vatican's Pontifical Council for Laity.

New Vatican Office to Put Soul Back Into Sports - Reuters, 4th August 2004.

Rain Of Stones Follows Woman

South Africa: A woman in the South African province of Limpop was booted out of her village because a hail of stones seems to follow her wherever she goes. Apparently, the problem is caused by an evil spell cast on her by a trader when she didn't pay him back for some clothes she purchased on credit.

We were there for nearly the whole night and saw stones falling from the sky like rain, said Vhembe police spokesperson Ailwei Mushavhanamadi. We went around the area to make sure someone wasn't throwing stones on the roof on purpose, but we didn't find anyone.
Police then advised the family to consult with spirit mediums about the phenomenon.

August 7, 2004

Amusement via LiveJournal

Serawench offers a succinct explanation for why people who harangue you about religion are likely to live a much shorter life than others:

My mother isn't an alcoholic or an addict of any drug, but I find she uses her religion the same way others use those types of things. Everything in her life revolves around her religion — and while in reality her life isn't in danger from stupid actions while high or drunk, it is in danger from me clocking her the next time she tells me I'm going to hell if I don't convert.

serawench in this comment to champion, 5th August 2004 (via Overheard On LiveJournal).

Loonies Dig Up "Dragon" Bones

United States: When confronted with the proof of dirty great bones being dug out of the ground creationists still won't admit they could possibly be wrong about that whole bible as truth thing. It seems those big old dinosaur bones are actually from dragons. Who knew?

August 3, 2004

Cult Caught Playing the Grant Game

Australia: Feòrag's finely tuned Google News filters vomited forth the tale of a local wingnut with his very own doomsday cult who has opted for the time honoured method of procuring money favoured by all religious groups; applying for a Government grant.

A doomsday cult led by a self-proclaimed prophet who has been banned by the Vatican has secured $332,000 from the Howard Government to run a private school [Saint Joseph's School in Cambewarra, near Nowra, on the NSW south coast.] since 1996.

William Little Pebble Kamm has previously predicted a tsunami would devastate Australia's east cost and believes his Order of St Charbel converts in NSW, Victoria and South Australia will survive the coming apocalypse after he is appointed as the last pope.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of recent entries written by Red Wolf in August 2004.

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