Blasphemous Rumour: June 2006 Archives

United States: God has apparently being playing games with His followers, at least according to a piece of e-mail which went around Portland, Oregon, recently. According to the message, God was peeved at a forthcoming Pride parade and had decided to do something about it.

--------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2006 13:15:46 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Urgent Message: Portland will have disaster in June 18, 2006!

Dear Pastor,

Please pray to God when you receive this message and seek God's guidance to you and your congregation.

3 people from 3 different places and churches received vision from God about this disaster. 3 people include a pastor, a church elder and a church missionary.
Here is the information about the disaster:
1. In June 18, 2006 (the coming Father's Day), there will be a Gay Pride Parade in Portland, Oregon.
2. This Gay Pride Parade will bring the judgment of God to Portland.
3. At June 18, 2006, there will be a huge earthquake happen in Portland area, the earthquake will cause a collapse of Bonneville Dam. A wall of water will flood and destroy Portland.
4. There will be another earthquake happen in the West Coast, cause a Tsunami and the Tsunami will go to Portland from Columbia River. So Portland will be flooded also by the Tsunami. (Portland is about 50 miles away from the sea coast.)
5. There will be a team of terrorists, who will bring automatic weapons (machine guns) and kill as many survivors as they can after the disaster. They kill people before the National Guard will arrive there.
6. Portland and the nearby Willamette Valley will be destroyed.
7. God urge the Christians to leave that area.

According to Scott Moore of The Portland Mercury, the message was based on a series of dreams experienced by Lloyd Day, the pastor of the Beth Tefilah Messianic Congregation, in which God's cronies told him to get out of town to escape the destruction.

My Portland correspondent, Sister Mona Little-More, SPI, was at the parade, and notes that none of the promised destruction has taken place. I am assured that the fine breweries of that city are intact.

Gay Pride? How About Gaypocalypse?—The Portland Mercury, 9th(?) June 2006.

Note: This is apparently the 2000th entry in the Prattle.

Ukraine: A man who climbed into the lions' enclosure at Kiev Zoo, claiming that God if he exists would protect him got a nasty surprise on Sunday:

A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.

We at Prattle Towers draw two possible conclusions from this.

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God—Reuters, 5th June 2006 (via Pharyngula).