Conspiracies: February 2003 Archives

February 21, 2003

It was the Jews after all.

I got stuck in the snow in Boston on Monday, so I found nellsterr's parody on alt.conspiracy, Israel KNEW about blizzard!, rather amusing:

Well well well, what's this? It looks like Sharon knew about the snow to hit the East Coast, killing over 50 people, and did NOTHING about it.
Why isn't Herr Shrub and his dictatorship investigating this? Could it be that he's being blackmailed by Sharon and his ZOG machine? Just how much money does has Israel squeezed from him anyway? They must have SOMETHING on the Shrub family.
No doubt the shills will spout their usual garbage at this, but too bad. People are finally starting to realize what's going on out there and it's about time.

February 8, 2003

War is pants

In Australia, 750 naked women formed a love heart surrounding the words NO WAR to protest the presence of Australian troops in the Middle East. (Photo) - Associated Press, 8th February 2003.

Of course, some people see far more into this increasingly common form of protest. BLK KAT told a number of newsgroups, including alt.conspiracy and alt.pagan that the picture showed that Witchs Back Saddam Hussein, and provided a fresh caption: Witches dance naked in unholy circle to try and conjure up a protective spell to keep their warlock hero safe.

February 4, 2003

At last!

'Burr' has come up with an interesting theory which is very similar to the Prattle's joke conspiracy. In Flash Shuttle (in alt.conspiracy.area51) , he tells us

Rumor has it that the shuttle hit a spaceship in route to Iraq with fresh supplies for the up coming war of the worlds.
   The AP will release the story tomorrow evening. This adds to the story that Saddam has "very" high friends and that God is going to be on his side, he may end up running the world.

This one will run and run...

Did inhabitants of approaching Planet X shoot down Columbia??? asks the charmingly-named FightinWhitey2 on alt.conspiracy.

Is it possible that the orbiting astronauts were far enough away to eyewitness the approaching Planet X??
     Perhaps the Greys didn't want the fact that Planet X is closing in to get back to us earthlings...

Our impending doom at the hands of this mysterious planet has been discussed in the Prattle on 1st January 2003 and 18th August 2002. The Light of Truth wants us to know that Aliens shot down Columbia. Aliens who are capable of interstellar travel, but have no knowledge of how to re-enter a planet's atmosphere.

According to sources within NASA the space shuttle Columbia was shot down by aliens. Officials within the space agency have confirmed the fact that an extra-terrestrial ship was picked up by NORAD while it was rising out of the Earth's atmosphere during the descent of Columbia.
According to the best guesses of NASA officials, the occupants of the alien ship may have misinterpreted Columbias descent as an attack maneuver. NORAD tracking and military satellites picked up an energy signature that registered as a heat spike. This heat spike was believed to be some sort of Directed Energy Weapon(DEW), possibly a laser or some sort of advanced particle beam fired by the alien ship. The beam created by the Directed Energy Weapon struck the underside of the Columbia's left wing.

News of this attack has been classified Top Secret because we couldn't cope with it.

The most obvious reaction described in the report would be a massive world-wide panic that would tear apart civilization at the seams; individuals with religious backgrounds would be electrified, possibly into mass violence, by the discovery of extraterrestrial life while individuals with scientific backgrounds would be devastated when they learn they are not the intellectual masters of the known universe. Unfortunately for NASA, the Pentagon, the White House and the Department of Homeland Security, the cover-up is already falling apart.

No mention of Iraqi involvement though...

February 2, 2003

It's all so obvious.

Now they've had time to think, conspiracy theorists are coming up with some impressive 'explanations' of the Columbia accident. AntiGravity Al insists that Columbia shot down by HAARP of our DoD. It seems that Neil Armstrong was secretly a woman:

Man has never been more than 300 miles above the final layer of our atmosphere, the ionosphere, or his head would explode and his blood would boil, without being injected with substitute blood, hydrazine solution. Maybe a few astronauts have done this to their bodies and souls and are sworn to secrecy in a kind of occult cabal. If they ever "leak" the truth, they are dead astronauts.

There were several animals on board, including ants which were being used to test the effects of low gravity on the formation of the holy "manna" of the Bible, which is actually a secretion from the anuses of ants. Because:

One of the shuttle astronauts would have revealed the truth of our space program secrecy, and some of the inner dark secrets of the occult control of our NASA.

And because Bush needs the money to spend on killing Iraqi civilians and taking over the world, he ordered a test of the HAARP ELF weapon and used it to shoot down Columbia. Meanwhile, in It's all becoming clear now, 'qaz' comes up with the same conspiracy I offered yesterday, but takes it much further:

Everyone says there's no way the shuttle could've been shot down.
Well, this is true, considering the technology available.
But, consider this: Saddam has extraterrestial technology, and is using it against us.
Check it out:
Now I know some of you skeptical people will say this is just utter nonsense, but I'm sure those of us like Bushsucks will take this to heart and be able to connect the dots.
The only problem is that if the Iraqis did it, it rules out the possibility of the CIA being involved.....or does it?
Everyone KNOWS the US has been in contact with aliens and has been exchanging technology with them, so once you sit down and figure it all out, you have to admit that the same aliens which the US has been in cahoots with since at least the infamous Roswell incident are probably also working with Saddam.
In other words, both nations are controlled by the same evil alien empire.

This post is of course bullshit, we are reassured at the end, destroying my hope that he actually believed it.

February 1, 2003

Unsurprising developments

It didn't take long for explanations of the shuttle accident to start appearing on alt.conspiracy. Take this posting - anyone else notice the irony of shuttle disaster? by 'Lady Amanita':

Jewish astronaut
Bits of shuttle blow up and fall to earth over Palestine Texas.
They tell people to stay away from pieces of debris.

I don't think the shuttle really exploded. Something did. But this was the most convenient thing they could come up with to cover up the explosion and attempted landing of a foreign/alien craft. I won't even begin to speculate on the terrestrial/extraterrestrial possibilities. That is not the issue. The fact that is important is the coverup of some nature.

Wonder what they have done/will do with the real shuttle crew?

Could the US government have done it deliberately to increase support for a war? Buckshucks asks Shuttle Shootdown?

May very well be a terrorist act or a Bush Mafia Shootdown to drum up jingo for an Iraq war. After all, Bush used 3000 deaths on 9/11 for his Afghanistan Pipeline and PollBoost War.

If it was terrorism - an Israeli war hero astronaut was on board, and it WAS named Columbia - both motivational symbols. Crash was near Waco, symbolic FBI / CIA city - and VERY near Crawford, Texas-plotting home for Traitor Bush's Mafia.

The two states involved? Texas and Florida - where else? And WHY are they warning everyone to stay away from wreckage?

They make a big to-do out of the altitide - 215,000 feet but pictures I saw showed a MUCH LOWER VEHICLE TRAVELING AT HIGHER THAN NORMAL SPEED. Gassed crew / GPS / Bomb? Just watch the Bush-Spin.

'Kansan', who usually obsesses over German model Heidi Klum, observed Israeli astronaut sacrificed over Palestine, TX:

It then became painfully obvious to me what the Entities had done. Aboard Columbia was the first Israeli astronaut, Ilan Roman. I had written about him in my message Kansan to undergo colonoscopy (January 23, 2003).

I had mentioned that his name is an anagram for Norma (Norma Jean Baker, a.k.a. Marilyn Monroe), and no mar, i.e., no ocean in Spanish. Also, Ilan is a garbled anagram for "alien".

The first parody conspiracy comes from 'antonovitz1' under the heading Let's get started!!:

Israeli was a Mossad agent with a suicidal Masada Complex who sabotaged the shuttle to possible blame Arabs and drum up support for Poor Little Israel which translates in "billions and billions' more of U.S. dollars. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

At least I think it's a parody. But personally, I think it must have been Iraq. It's obvious. We know they've got reverse-engineered extraterrestrial spacecraft (Prattle, 31st January 2003), so obviously they used it to fire weapons of mass destruction at the Shuttle. It all makes sense - it must be true. Nuke Baghdad now!

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Conspiracies category from February 2003.

Conspiracies: December 2002 is the previous archive.

Conspiracies: March 2003 is the next archive.

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