Conspiracies: February 2005 Archives

February 25, 2005

Tsunami still inspiring nuts

The more observant among you will have noticed some new additions to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List, all of them in the Religious Insights category. One is a fairly boring Christian number of the beast prediction but the other two are far more interesting. First up is Sheldon Nidle writing on behalf of the Spiritual Heirarchy and the Galactic Federation, who explains that it was Mother Earth farting:

Recently, your global society suffered a great tragedy in Southeast and East Asia. This calamity was caused by the need to relieve the pressure of two large tectonic plates pushing up against one another. In a message a couple of weeks ago, we informed you that Mother Earth needs to move into the next stage of her return to full consciousness. This coming stage presages a vast increase in seismic and volcanic activity. Mother Earth accomplishes these movements in a manner that causes minimal loss of life. If the entirety of these two plates had moved, the loss of life would have been in the tens of millions! Again we caution you about the need to understand these immense processes in the broadest of perspectives. Mother Earth is preparing herself for your new reality. This means that, eventually, the Earth as you know her will alter enormously. Her electromagnetic fields and even their polarity will change. Likewise, her appearance and the processes by which she maintains herself and her highly diverse ecosystem will alter.

But don't panic--according to the update for 22nd February:

As noted in our last few messages, our scientific teams are also working with your planetary Elohim to stabilize Mother Earth. Your beloved planet still needs to make a number of corrections to many of her surface regions. We are now formulating a scenario whereby this can be done with a minimum of distress to your global society.

All this activity attracted the attention of venerable net.kook Robert McElwaine, who responded on the 20th January in alt.alien.visitors:

          TO: The Galactic Federation and the "spiritual hierarchy"
          C/O The Planetary Activation Organization

               This is my reply to paragraph 1 of the January 4, 2005 
          Galactic Federation Update, :

               In one or more past Updates, The Galactic Federation 
          bragged about having TRANSPORTER BEAMS that can TELEPORT 

               The Galactic Federation had PLENTY of time (25 minutes 
          for Sumatera, much longer elsewhere) to move ALL of the 

          SO A COUPLE OF HOT-SHOT "ascended masters" (SO-CALLED) CAN 
          FINISH THEIR OWN PET PROJECTS ?!  First Contact is ALREADY 
          EIGHT YEARS LATE !

               Like the "spiritual hierarchy", "mother earth" ALSO is 
          part of the NEGATIVE POWER, as described in my Article 
          "NEGATIVE Divinities" which can be found at 
 and at 

                                   Robert E. McElwaine
                                   PAO Member
                                   Eckankar Initiate
                                   B.S., Physics and Astronomy, UW-EC
                            Preserve BOTH on CD-R and PRINT-OUTS

          See also , or 

          P.S.: PASS IT ON !

February 21, 2005

Catholics the new satanists

United States: Bizarre allegations have surfaced during an investigation into the death of a nun, Sister Margaret Ann Pahl, in 1980. Bizarre allegations which bear a stunning familiarity to the completely bogus ritual abuse myth which was circulated by fundies in the late 1980s and early 90s.

An investigation by The Blade based on hundreds of police and diocese records, as well as interviews, shows that prosecutors are still examining details of the slaying - including a pattern of stab wounds resembling a cross - while interviewing people about the abuse allegations in an expanded probe.

Investigators have talked to numerous priests and former students at local Catholic grade schools to determine if they knew anything about children being molested in bizarre ceremonies involving a small ring of clerics, according to several people interviewed by police.

I'm sure they have learned the lessons of the 80s and will not be asking any leading questions.

Four women told detectives about being abused between the late 1960s and 1986 during cult-like ceremonies involving altars and men dressed in robes, the accusers told The Blade. I've had nightmares about this since I was a child, said one woman, who asked not to be named. I didn't think anyone would believe me.

She did not explain why she failed to come forward during the original moral panic, when her claims whould have been treated sympathetically and with absolute credulity. This particular case stems from a single woman who had undergone therapy, although we will have to wait for the case to go to court to discover if she was genuinely abused by the priests, or merely convinced that she had been by her therapist.

February 14, 2005

TGTCL: latest additions

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List continues to grow. Today's entries are:

Religious Insights: Tsunami Was God's Punishment Claims Former Chief Rabbi - The Scotsman, 31st January 2005 (also Ireland Online the same day.

The tsunami that ravaged southern Asia last month was God's punishment for world support for Israel's plan to withdraw from the Gaza Strip, a former chief rabbi has claimed.

When the Holy One, Blessed be He, is angry with the nations of the world that don't help Israel -- but want to evacuate and disengage, and interfere in our affairs and harm us -- then the Holy One, Blessed be He, claps his hands in sadness, and this causes the quake, former Israeli Chief Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu told the ultra-Orthodox Ma'ayanei Hayeshua magazine.

Thanks to tjc for spotting this one: Tsunami was 'divine visitation upon Sabbath pleasure seekers' - The Scotsman, 10th February 2005. Presbyterian minister John MacLeod said:

It has to be noted that the wave arrived on the Lord's Day, the day that God has set apart to be observed the world over by a holy resting from all employments and recreations that are lawful on other days.

Experiments Gone Wrong: Was Tsunami caused by human hands trying to develop alternative energy from Tectonic plate frictions and movements? - India Daily, 9th February 2005.

Joke Conspiracies: (new category) Get ready for another fake "terror attack", a la 911 - Owamanga in alt.conspiracy, alt.politics.bush, misc.survivalism and alt.california, 11th February 2005.

Ahhh, but you left out the bit about the real Flight 77 then getting it's wings cut off and converted into a special submarine with 160 windows so that top US & Russian officials could watch the Tsunami from just off the Sri-Lankan coastline. It's rumored that tickets on Sub-77 cost more than superbowl.

I'm not suggesting we created the Tsunami, far from it. Apparently the Government has been able to talk to Dolphins since the late 80's, and they told us it was coming. I guess their computers are better than ours, and er, probably waterproof too.

February 7, 2005

Bye bye, Trekkies!

What does Star Trek have to do with the Tsunami?. Everything, according to Rev. John "Transporter Buffer" Mayfield of the Order Of The Isolinear Temple. In an egregiously cross-posted article, We'll Be Leaving May 13th, he calls on Trekkies to leave the planet.

On May 13th, 2005, after the series finale of Star Trek: Enterprise, we will shed our containers and join our space brothers on their star ships in orbit.

With the ending of the Star Trek franchise, there is no longer any reason for us to stay on Earth. The end of the franchise is a sign the world will soon face apocalyptic catastrophes and will be completely destroyed. We know full well the tsunami in the Indian Ocean was a precursor of future calamities to come. The cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise further solidified our beliefs.

Thousands of us, consisting of Star Trek fans all over the world, will be beaming up our katras to the space brothers star ships as we rise to the level of Kholinar above Earth and travel along side our Heaven's Gate cousins.

So, what can we do to stop this terrible loss to humanity?

The only event which will reverse our decision and the fate of Earth is for UPN to renew Star Trek: Enterprise for the 5th, 6th and 7th seasons.

That last bit makes me wonder if it isn't a candidate for the Intentional Humour category.

February 3, 2005

Tedious Canadian rock band caused the tsunami

Just when you think that there cannot possibly be any more to add to The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List, something comes along that makes you wonder if it's the work of a postgraduate AI student, hoovering the cat and generally avoiding writing their thesis. In this case, the questionable character is one LIBERATOR, who postulates that the band Rush is part of a tsunami-creating conspiracy.

The gifts I used lastnight to detect RUSHs idiot band people at the bar, as well as knowing the Virginia Newbon porn people were actually her people, even talking to her in the bar as they looked at me.

Jewish trillionaires engineered this. First I need good psychics, to track this. Study the situation. Identify them, and they are being shielded by witches, that probably befriend RUSH and talk to RUSH daily, they trained Virginai Newbon, thus having personal access gives them ability to provide false signals that lead them astray.

The Tsunami murders - RUSH failed -,,,, rec.martial-arts, 23rd January 2005.

February 1, 2005

Tsunami conspiracies run and run

The Great Tsunami Conspiracy List has been frequently updated since it was first posted, and the most recent additions required a whole new category: Future tsunamis in the making. You see, not only was the tsunami the work of evil governments, an experiment gone wrong or aliens, but they either plan to do it again, or their activities will inevitably lead to a repeat performance.

India Daily reports on two possible scenarios. Firstly, the aliens are working on sub-tectonic experiments in the Indian Ocean. Strong aftershocks and UFO sightings are evidence of this nefarious activity:

According to some experts, these are signs of possible experimentation with tectonic plates by some entity. People in Nicobar island complaints something is going on under the ocean -- deep underground -- many miles below the water surface.

The pattern of aftershocks is also strange. Normally on plotting the same they show a gradual decrease in the moving average of Richter scale reported. This time no pattern can be found. After one large aftershock, a considerable time lapses before the next one. It seems someone is controlling the after shocks and making sure plates are not over stressed.

And in addition, anecdotal evidence suggests that boats are mysteriously disappearing in the area:

A sailor in the Shipping Authority of India Limited who also sailed in transatlantic shipping routes says, this part of the Indian ocean resembles now Bermuda triangle region.

A week later, and another hypothesis emerges concerning the pattern of aftershocks: someone is building a tunnel under the Indian Ocean, towards the Himalayas. The method by which this has been determined is a little like that for finding ley lines.

When the epicenters of these quakes are joined with a straight line, it seems that the aftershock epicenter is moving along this line. The aftershocks are between 5.2 and 6.2 in Richter scale. After a series of aftershock there is approximately 78 hours of gap before the next series appears.

They do not indicate which map they used, or if the curvature of the Earth has been accounted for.

Red Wolf had better beware, for Sydney is due to be destroyed by earthquakes and tsunamis fifteen days ago.

UFO Sighting and Strange Signals reported again in Indian Ocean sub tectonic experiment? - India Daily, 24th January 2005; Eight more quakes in Andaman-Nicobar -- aftershock epicenters moving northwards -- someone building tectonic plate level tunnel towards Himalayas? - India Daily, 31st January 2005.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Conspiracies category from February 2005.

Conspiracies: January 2005 is the previous archive.

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