Conspiracies: January 2007 Archives

January 30, 2007

God and the entitlement culture

My correspondents get better spam than I do, even if the message denies that it is spam:

This email is NOT SPAM
Please do not ATTACK American's Free Speech by BLOCKING this email or ILLEGALLY marking this email as SPAM. This email is NOT SPAM, because no products are being sold.

A strange definition there, and not a good one as a certain amount of the message involves the spammer trying to sell us his imaginary friend. Perhaps he's being honest and admitting that his product does not actually exist?

What's really interesting is the content of the rest of the message, which is an attack on a church whom he believes did not pray hard enough for his recently-deceased father, and so caused his demise. I'm sure we can all think of a better reason for God's silence. The message is a little long, so you'll have to click on the link to read it. It's long, but ultimately worth it for the dedicated psychoceramicist.

January 11, 2007

Passion of the Christ even more Satanic

It seems that Cutting Edge Ministries are not the only bunch of loony fundies to see all sorts of weird Illuminati symbolism in The Passion of the Christ, as a quick Google reveals. Barbara Aho starts off with a bit of pedantryTechnically, the last twelve hours of the life of Jesus Christ on earth were those preceding His Ascension, however Gibson’s movie covers the betrayal, trial and crucifixion of Jesus—before observing that some of the actors had dubious pasts (and here was me thinking that forgiving of past sins was a Christian thing. Oopsikins). Then it gets interesting, in the way we appreciate here at Prattle Towers (both hemispheres).

January 5, 2007

Hitler was a Jew who acted as he did to create Israel

Iran: Mohammad-Ali Ramin, a top aide to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has an interesting hypothesis to explain certain events of the mid-20th century.

In the interview, translated by MEMRI, Mohammad-Ali Ramin, a chief aide to Ahmadinejad, told Baztab that Hitler's paternal grandmother was a Jewish prostitute and his father even kept his Jewish name until finally changing it to Hitler when he was 40.

Ramin also claimed that the reason Hitler developed such an aversion to Judaism was because his Jewish mother was a promiscuous woman. Hitler therefore, says Ramin, tried to escape his religion.

But any hope of consistency flies quickly out of the window, as Ramin tries to explain why a self-hating anti-semite might try to provide a safe space for those he had come to loathe:

He welcomed the policy of expelling the Jews from Central Europe for two other reasons: Firstly, the establishment of a Jewish government in Palestine was an aspiration of the rich and influential Jews who surrounded him. Secondly, exiling the Jews from Europe and Germany was a general and historical demand of the Western Christian nations. With the full support of the British, and in coordination with them, Hitler addressed this general demand and [thereby] managed to gain widespread popularity in Europe. Obviously, publishing writings and information of this sort is forbidden in Germany and in the West...

Which is a little odd, as he apparently cites a book first published in the US and Germany in the 1970s (and still in print, it seems) as a source for his information. Maybe MEMRI mistranslated a Farsi word meaning makes you look like a complete lunatic as forbidden?

Of course, apart from this one piece of crank literature, Ramin has no evidence to support his suggestions. Naturally, this is because it was all destroyed by the Zionist conspiracy.

The Zionists recently... destroyed many documents and papers pertaining to the period before the war, which contained authentic statistics and figures regarding the Jews, such as how many Jews there were, where they [lived] and how they operated. One of the places that was destroyed completely and burned [to the ground] - and which... contained the most valuable documents pertaining to this matter - was the [building of] the newspaper Pravda, which had been published in Moscow for 80 years. On February 10, 2006, the building was set ablaze, and its entire archive, with all its back issues and photographs, was burned and destroyed, and not a trace of it was left.

So extensive was the cover-up, that not even Pravda appears to have reported on the disasterous fire which engulfed its HQ.

Mohammad Ali Ramin, Advisor to Iranian President Ahmadinejad: 'Hitler Was Jewish'MEMRI (insert usual caveat here), 3rd January 2007; Iran: Hitler was a JewYNet News, 2nd January 2007.

January 1, 2007

Passion of the Christ satanic!

It was inevitable, I suppose, but while researching the forthcoming end of the world, I encounted a series of articles about the occult nature of The Passion of the Christ at Cutting Edge Ministries. Of particular interest to us is WHY IS ANTICHRIST SYMBOLISM PREVALENTLY SHOWN IN "THE PASSION" where, we are promised, we will discover the symbolism of "Jesus"' naked buttocks in the last scene, among other things. But the first thing we learn is that antichrist and Roman Catholic are one and the same.

Once our journalistic investigations prior to the opening of "The Passion" had revealed strong occult Roman Catholic influences in the creation and the direction of the movie, I felt that we should see a significant Illuminati signature depicted somewhere in the movie.

It starts early. Apparently the virgin birth is nothing but a Satanic deception planted by Auld Nick himself. But it's the eyes of the Christ character that are the most obvious Satanic symbols in the film.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus is repeatedly punched in the face by Caiaphas' guards. After this savage fist beating, Jesus' face is swollen and very puffy. In fact, His right eye is completely closed. For the rest of the movie, Jesus is shown as being able to see only out of His right eye, as this picture clearly demonstrates. Right up until the time of His death on the cross, Jesus is able to see out with only one eye. In other words, Jesus is a one-eyed Messiah for the vast majority of this movie.

Does this mean Jesus is really Odin then? I mean, there's the one-eye thing, and the hanging on a tree thing...

Was that an All-Seeing Eye of Illuminized Freemasonry, the One-Eyed Wisdom and Benevolence of Providence.?

This is also where Jesus' bum comes into it, as He is seen leaving His tomb in his bare scuddies (and bare everything else, too).

Carefully consider this fact: that depiction was totally unnecessary to this film! The Gospels do not record that Jesus left the tomb naked; Sister Anne Emmeric did not see in her "visions" that Jesus was naked as He left the tomb. Therefore, why would Gibson and his Jesuit script writer concoct such an ending? Since Gibson reportedly spent $50 million of his own money to make this film and get it distributed, and since he is a proven professional screen director, you know that he paid attention to every detail, no matter how minute. You know that he knew this film was going to end on Jesus' bare bottom, so that must have been the plan.

But why, and does this mean Jesus isn't Odin after all? Apparently the C.F.R. (Council on Foreign Relations) portrays Antichrist as a one-eyed, left-eyed naked Messiah riding a white horse. It only seems to have four legs though. As you can imagine, Cutting Edge Ministries have a rather unusual view of the CFR. But back to the point, after observing that The Moslems believe that an Antichrist is to appear who will have 'one eye' and that it's only ever the left eye that is shown, they come to a stunning conclusion.

Therefore, you can only now conclude that the reason Gibson showed "Jesus" bare buttocks was that he was providing the second part of the Antichrist symbol - A one-eyed Messiah who is naked!

Right. Now,if only they could work in the Odin bit, to match their Mary-as-Pagan-Goddess bit...

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Conspiracies category from January 2007.

Conspiracies: August 2006 is the previous archive.

Conspiracies: February 2007 is the next archive.

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