Jerry Falwell: May 2007 Archives

May 16, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Falwell tat

He's been dead for less than a day, and already eBay is flooded with Jerry Falwell related memorabilia. Much of it is just stuff like signed books, but some of it is interesting. Carat Queen was impressively quick off the mark in producing this Jerry Falwell Memorial tribute magnet

The wags were quick to respond to his demise too. For example, you can buy One Pound of Lard. Own a Portion of Jerry Falwell ! (Not his ubiquitous lard, but rather lard JUST LIKE HIS!):

Up for auction is one pound of lard - exactly like the lard which composed Jerry Falwell. Place this tub of lard high on a shelf or on your mantle, should you need a tub of lard to look-up to. Place this lard on the back of a donkey or pig should you need a tub of lard to mindlessly follow.

The perfect keepsake with which to remember him.

Or how about a nice painting in his memory? Perhaps JERRY FALWELL IN HELL - acrylic painting! with Satan! fits the bill?

This is your chance to own what is probably the first contemporary art painting of religious-right extremist JERRY FALWELL to be done following his death earlier today (May 15th). This is also a very rare chance to purchase Jeffrey Scott Holland (me)'s primitive neo-expressionist artwork at such a low price on eBay, thanks to the good people at Superfrothco.

The painting isn't pictured here because I'm working on it right now, even as we speak.

It's acrylic on bristol and measures 8.5x11. It will portray Rev. Falwell arriving in Hell, surrounded by flames, and coming face to face with Satan, who's laughing hysterically, not unlike the way he often does in a Jack Chick comic.

Phelps: John 3:16 a perversion of Christianity

United States: It seems that, at some point, Jerry Falwell managed to accidentally preach a message that bore some resemblance to the recorded teachings of Jesus Christ, and that has annoyed Fred Phelps.

WBC will preach at the memorial service of the corpulent false prophet Jerry Falwell, who spent his entire life prophesying lies and false doctrines like God loves everyone.

Naturally, he concludes that Falwell must be in a well known Norwegian town, and gives his reasons. Two of them are worth repeating, the first being a bit of tedious theological hair-splitting which means nothing to the sensible.

Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC's faithful Bible preaching -- thereby committing the unpardonable sin -- otherwise known as the sin against the Holy Ghost.

Hang on, I thought that sin was specifically denying the Holy Spirit (which does not exist, by the way), not having boring arguments?

Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, etc. All for lucre -- making him guilty of their sins.

Ah yes, pooves. We knew they'd be mentioned soon enough. Of course, because Falwell was not fond of pooves (though he did, towards the end of his life, make the outrageous suggestion that they be treated like human beings), it makes him a hard target for Phelp's obsession with hot man-on-man sex, so the rest of his announcement makes no mention of Falwell whatsoever, just pooves. The announcement is on the home page, and will no doubt change as soon as Phelps thinks about pooves again, so here's a screenshot of the entire page (PNG, 540Kb).

WBC will Preach at Jerry Falwell's Funeral!!God Hates America, 15th May 2007 (probably).

May 15, 2007

Dead fundies, and other news.

  • United States: Jerry Falwell is dead. As with Andrea Dworkin, I'll stick to my mother's advice about not saying anything if I have nothing nice to say. You may choose to do otherwise. US evangelist Jerry Falwell diesBBC News, 15th May 2007.
  • United States: Wiccan woman on the recieving end of Christian love. Diatribe possible hate crimeTimes-Union, 15th May 2007.
  • England: A Roman Catholic priest is on trial, accused of paying to have an 11-year-old girl groomed for sex. If he's found guilty, let's see how his church can blame this one on pooves. Priest 'paid for girl's grooming'BBC News, 15th May 2007.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Jerry Falwell category from May 2007.

Jerry Falwell: December 2006 is the previous archive.

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