Intentional Humour: July 2003 Archives

July 29, 2003

Improving the built environment

[An improved billboard]For some reason, a church in Essex has been advertising in Edinburgh. Some wag has improved one of the ads, as this picture by Seumas Macmhicean demonstrates (click on it for a bigger version - 76Kb).

July 24, 2003

The Anagrammed Bible

The Anagrammed Bible is:

an anagrammatic paraphrase of three complete books of the Old Testament. The letters in each verse (or, in some cases, block of verses) from the King James Version Bible are transformed into a new text with a similar meaning - sometimes straightforwardly, sometimes more fancifully, but always with respect for the meaning of the Biblical text and, of course, strict adherence to the anagram rule.

And most amusing it is too. For example, Proverbs 19:6 reads Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts in the King James Version, but the Anagrammed Bible is much blunter:

If that guy hath gold, every transient rat (victim in need of help) wants a five from him. Earn it!

(via Teresa Nielsen Hayden)

July 15, 2003

Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False

The same folk responsible for the parody fundie article railing against the evils of Apple Computer have apparently struck gold again, although all the links now redirect to a page of unrelated advertising, so I'll just have to take the word of the blogosphere. OBJECTIVE: Christian Ministries have come up with an article detailing a Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair. Henry Farrell of Crooked Timber quotes some of his favourite bits:

My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey). Cassidy Turnbull presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey. (Elementary School level, first Prize).

He got it from Ezra Klein of Not Geniuses, who seemed to be taken in by it, but quoted this delightful piece:

Women Were Designed For Homemaking. Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

July 14, 2003

Atheism, and its carriers

Well-known spoof site Landover Baptist Church has come up trumps with How to Spot Atheists and Report Them to the FBI:

I've got to tell you, says Pastor Deacon Fred, that from what I've seen in the last few years, there are roughly 300 active Atheists living in the United States. I know that sounds like a lot of godless nuts, but I'm not exaggerating just to get your attention. Atheism is becoming a very serious epidemic because our projections show that within a mere eight years, our country will no longer have prison space to hold all of them. And that's not even taking into account the many folks who don't have the guts to admit at the family dinner table that they are Atheists, but spit in Christ's face in secret by failing to get down on their knees and repeat all the compliments He demands to hear. Most of the uncounted Atheists are in the closet and are too sissified to handle death threats from their Christian neighbors.

And Betty Bowers (Ameica's Best Christian) chips in too.

How can an Atheist be counted upon to raise a weapon and kill men, women and children for Christ? They can't! That's your answer.

(via Wallybrane's Martian Adventures.)

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Intentional Humour category from July 2003.

Intentional Humour: June 2003 is the previous archive.

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