Intentional Humour: February 2004 Archives

February 29, 2004

Betty Bowers on Mel Gibson

It would have been surprising if Landover Baptist had nothing to say about The Passion of the Christ, and of course Betty Bowers had to review it. I don't think she liked it:

Anyone who saw the Diane Sawyer interview knows that Mel Gibson is a few beads short of a rosary. Mr. Gibson, a serial adulterer who finds piety in not speaking English at Mass, invested $25 million of his own money in this film. Just like Rosie O'Donnell with Taboo, Mr. Gibson broke the Golden Rule of showbiz to put on a show about a man who wore a dress. One might wonder why a director would choose to make a film about Someone whose life has provided inspiration to millions in a manner that borrows less from Jesus' words than it does from a bootleg copy of an Argentinean snuff film. But any Baptist who has slipped into a cathedral to reach out to Catholics by helpfully scrawling Damned Pagan Mary Worshipers on statuary can attest to Roman Catholics' lugubrious preoccupation with the logistical nuances of slowly torturing another human to death. Their apses sport crosses that attempt to outdo each other in the gothic, bloodthirsty enterprise of artistically doting on the macabre specifics of skin lacerations and their effluence. Verily, the Marquis de Sade has nothing on these people when it comes to harnessing pain into ecstasy, religious or otherwise.

February 24, 2004

Conversations With God

United States: Pat Robertson has been having conversations with his invisible friend again.

Pat Robertson says that God has spoken to him and told him that George W. Bush will be re-elected because he deserves to be.

Here's Pat Robertson's exact quote: I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I'm hearing from the Lord that it's going to be a blowout.

February 21, 2004

Is Your Religion Unsanitary?

United States: Mark Morford is once more encouraging the fundie sheep to think for themselves.

Is your god really, really angry right now?

Is your god telling you, like it tells G.W. Bush every night, that your unwanted unprovoked ultraviolent war against a nearly defenseless nation is not only justified and righteous, but is His deepest wish?

And does your religion tell you, like it tells so many of the Christian Right, that homosexuals are a dire threat to humankind and should be stopped at all costs before the so-called gay agenda sneaks into the playground and the drinking water and the Spongebob scripts and starts covertly converting our blessed innocent hetero children to a life of sin?

February 18, 2004

The order of things

This illustration of The Pagan Hierarchy or ...who looks down on whom... came to my attention via Teresa's Particles. It missed out the Pagan Prattle right at the top though...

The same source also led me to the Unintelligent Design Network, Inc., which adds to the Evolution/Creation stushie:

But instead of being swayed by either side, we at UDN, Inc. have found a theory that effectively merges the strengths of the two theories without the weaknesses. The intelligent design people say there are too many holes in the fossil record, and that evolution is only a theory; the scientists say there's not enough evidence of intelligent design. So we say, instead, that life has indeed been designed, just not very well.
Miller himself, a biologist, states on of our best illustrations. There have been 23 elephant-like animals in history, and yet only two survive today (and we add, they're not doing very well). Clearly, this is the mark of an all-powerful creator who is stuck on the same stupid idea and can't figure out why the hell they keep dying off. Hmm, perhaps it's because giant, big-eared mammals with huge, prehensile noses are ridiculous? I mean, WTF? A giant, powerful, graspingÂ… nose? It looks like something a preschooler would make up.
But there's more. The fossil record is littered with animals that prove God, er, whatever magical force designed life, is several fries short of a happy meal. I mean, look at the Dodo. Unlike other huge, successful birds like eagles and buzzards, our creator decided the next big thing would be a huge bird with teeny-tiny wings that didn't do squat. Add to this the fact that the stupid things practically jumped into the Portuguese sailors' cooking pots themselves.

February 7, 2004

Antichrist du jour

We've heard before how George W. Bush is the Antichrist, and how Prince William is the Antichrist and reincarnation of King Arthur. But for one day only, marking his 93rd birthday, the folks at GayPornBlog, have declared Ronald Reagan is the Antichrist.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Intentional Humour category from February 2004.

Intentional Humour: January 2004 is the previous archive.

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