Intentional Humour: November 2004 Archives

November 20, 2004

Nipping pansies in the bud

Leda Horticulture provides us with a thorough list of Major Reasons People Become Homosexual. Obviously, the family environment is important in ensuring children grow up to be proper heterosexuals:

2. Having a single parent. Not having two parents makes a person queerer than a treeful of pink monkeys on helium. It just does.

3. Having two parents, but with an closer relationship to the mother than to the father. Makes boys crave male love, which they seek out through becoming leather bottoms to big mean daddy bears; makes girls wish to emulate their overbearing (possibly latently lesbian themselves!) mothers, thus encouraging them to adopt behavior which makes them unattractive to men but attractive to women.

4. Having two parents, but with a closer relationship to the father than to the mother. Makes boys want feminine affection, which they look for in effeminate men because they've learned that women cannot provide them the affection they seek; makes girls tomboyish at the same time that it makes them crave feminine affection, and if you can't just see lesbianism coming a mile away with *that* dynamic in place, well, shame on you.

5. Having two parents, but with equal and substantial relationships with both mother and father. Leads to insecurity about gender roles and the appropriate places of male and female partners in marriage relationships, which makes it seem easier to form attachments to members of one's own sex.

(via perlmonger)

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This page is an archive of entries in the Intentional Humour category from November 2004.

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