King Kevin: December 2003 Archives

December 21, 2003

Lonely this Christmas

United Kingdom: There you are, King of the Witches and dead, dead powerful—you know you are because you told the tabloids loads of times, and they printed it, so it must be true. So what do you do with these amazing poweres? Bring about world peace, an end to hunger and a cure for AIDS? How about influencing the pop charts so that one piece of inane tripe is number one at Christmas, at the expense of another piece of inane tripe.

And Kevin [Carlyon, who else?] revealed the witches were also using their powers to try and keep Ozzy's single with daughter Kelly at the top of the charts for Christmas thwarting a rival effort by the Pop Idol finalists.

And for good measure, just to emphasise that you only do white magic, how about cursing Simon Cowell for being rude about Ozzy Osbourne? WITCHES' SPELL ON COWELL FOR OZZY BIKE SLURThe Daily Record, 20th December 2003.

December 9, 2003

Silver lining

England: One of King Kev's acolytes could well have the good fortune to be booted out of his coven after a binding spell on her boyfriend failed to work and, according to Kev, it's the law of return, which he claims only works when you do something negative.

Carrie, 23, a member of the British Coven of White Witches, cast a spell using ancient symbols written on a piece of paper, and left it in the shop.

But the spell failed to work its magic in Campbell, who was jailed after a visit to a brothel.

WITCH AND CHIPSThe Daily Record, 8th December 2003.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the King Kevin category from December 2003.

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