Recently in Pooves and closet cases Category

Matthew Sephton has mailed to point out an error in our piece about homophobe Richard Carvath:

Richard Carvath is NOT trying to become the Conservative PPC for Salford and Eccles. In fact, he has NOTHING to do with the Conservative Party. He has stated his intention to stand in the constituency as an Independent however.

United States: Newspapers usually only prank their readers on April 1st, but the Arkansas Sunday Post (bringing you the biggest stories for the tiniest minds, every Sunday!) appears to be engaging in a bit of festive tomfoolery. I mean, there is no way on earth this story can be true, is there?

Arkansas church ban popular carol promoting homosexuality. Protests grow.

The church in question is Saint Catherine and Angelic Martyrs in Puftville, the very name of the town making the story suspicious, but what makes it really doubtful is the apt name given to the pastor: Randy Pillock!

Explaining his decision, he points out, The second verse is the problematic part. The first line ‘Don we now our gay apparel’ is clearly incongruent with our values. The outrage doesn’t stop there for Pastor Pillock who explains that the third verse is an homage to a ‘Blazing Yule.’

He is not alone in his views though. Church stalwart, Ted Trotter agrees, This carol has been part of the gay agenda for years and it really is time to put a stop to it. It’s unbelievable that we have been singing it unnoticed for all these years.

Nice try.

Gay carol ban: No more Deck the Halls—Arkansas Sunday Post, 16th December 2009 (not a Sunday!)

The Court of Appeal has ruled that a Christian was not discriminated against when she was sacked for refusing to do her job. Lilian Ladele had claimed that she was unfairly dismissed for refusing to carry out civil partnerships, a fundamental part of the registrar's job. She plans to whine to a higher court. This is the second recent case where someone claiming to be Christian has insisted that it is religious discrimination to make them obey the law from which they themselves are trying to benefit. Only two weeks ago, former counsellor Gary McFarlane lost his appeal against being sacked for refusing to do his job.

Perhaps they should enlist the help of Richard Carvath, who is trying to become a Tory prospective parliamentary candidate for Salford and Eccles. He's started his campaign for the nomination by engaging in positive dialogue with one of his competitors with whom he disagrees, in an attempt to find common ground. No, he hasn't. He called Matthew Sephton a homosexual pervert and describes a blog post about the LGBTory group's trip to Manchester Pride as heavy with pro homosexual pervert content. I never knew Manchester Pride was that good! Must pop along one year.

A self-styled pro-heterosexual, he describes his platform thus:

If elected he vows to; work for a complete ban on homosexuals fostering or adopting children, for the abolition of civil partnerships, for the re-criminalisation of the act of buggery, for the restoration of ‘Section 28’, and for the criminalisation of public homosexual behaviour and the public promotion of homosexuality.

Sounds to me like the only place he can get any is the local gents' loo.

Carvath has already acquired a non-fan club on Facebook. Unfortunately, some people have decided to encourage his persecution complex by reporting him to the police for hate speech, rather than just laughing at the silly monkey throwing his fæces all over his own bed.

Anti-gay registrar loses case in Court of Appeal—Ekklesia, 15th December 2009; Tory chair branded pervert by election competitor—Pink Paper, 11th December 2009 (I do hope that last headline is not literal!).

England: Almost a year ago, we mentioned the case of Gary McFarlane, an alleged Christian who had been sacked from his counselling job because he claimed that doing it without discrimination was against his religion. Well, the case went to an employment tribunal, and McFarlane (or MacFarlane - I've seen both spellings) lost. He appealed, and lost again.

Christian loses sex therapy case—BBC News, 30th November 2009.

Dear Norfolk police,

This is a homophobic hate crime. Here's another example. Here's a third example.

This, on the other hand, is just a bigoted, batty old woman, probably quite normal for Norfolk, and any visit you make should really just be to check that she's okay and not done any accidental harm to herself.

There are a few religious groups that rarely, if ever, feature in the Prattle. Some, seem to think, conspiratorially, that Judaism never features but the responses demonstrate that that is not the case. No, the group that most notably never features here is the Religious Society of Friends, better known as the Quakers. And today's news demonstrates why: whilst other denominations are spewing out homophobic hate speech, the Quakers have been quietly thinking about it (for 20 years, apparently), and today a decision was made:

This open sharing of personal experience has moved us and added to our clear sense that, 22 years after the prospect was first raised at Meeting for Sufferings we are being led to treat same sex committed relationships in the same way as opposite sex marriages, reaffirming our central insight that marriage is the Lord’s work and we are but witnesses. The question of legal recognition by the state is secondary.

We therefore ask Meeting for Sufferings to take steps to put this leading into practice and to arrange for a draft revision of the relevant sections of Quaker faith and practice, so that same sex marriages can be prepared, celebrated, witnessed, recorded and reported to the state, as opposite sex marriages are. We also ask Meeting for Sufferings to engage with our governments to seek a change in the relevant laws so that same sex marriages notified in this way can be recognised as legally valid, without further process, in the same way as opposite sex marriages celebrated in our meetings. We will not at this time require our registering officers to act contrary to the law, but understand that the law does not preclude them from playing a central role in the celebration and recording of same sex marriages.

News release and background on Committed Relationships paper for YMG09—Quakers In Britain, n.d., but the press release itself is 31st July 2009.

Well, the comments might be working, or they might not be (previewing first definitely does work), and regardless, they look odd. Search definitely isn't working, but here are a few stories to keep you occupied while I try and fix things:

• One of the day care abuse cases from the 80s has been resolved as Bernard Baran wins his appeal after 21 years in prison for a crime which never happened. Background information at freebaran.org.


• Virgin Mary spotted in bird shit.


• Israeli Supreme Court rules in favour of a Christian who had Kosher certification removed from her bakery due to her having the wrong set of superstitions.

I've seen this all over the place, and I've just had the umpteenth suggestion that this is a Prattle story, so here it is:

Will the Antichrist be a homosexual?... While the word homosexual is not in the Bible, the behavior of those who practice homosexuality, and God’s estimation of them, very definitely is. When the word came into existence I cannot tell you, but what we can say for sure is that when Noah Webster published his first dictionary in 1828, it was not included. This means that homosexuality is a modern word invented to replace the word Noah Webster did include, sodomy, defined as a crime against nature. This is historical revisionism in action.

It follows, therefore, that heterosexual, which is also not in the Bible, is another modern word invented to replace some other word—gomorrahry, pehaps?

Interestingly, the word homosexual is so beloved of fundie types, that I use it as a search term when I'm specifically looking for religious anti-gay hate speech. No-one else seems to use it these days.

Will the Antichrist be a homosexual?—Mat-su Valley Frontiersman, 25th May 2009.

United Kingdom: How long before the superstitionists complain about this? I'm going for before the programme is even broadcast.

EastEnders is to tackle one of the last taboos left in soap, with a storyline featuring a Muslim character embarking on a gay love affair.

MediaGuardian.co.uk can reveal that the plot, which will hit screens in mid-June, will see Syed Masood, a Muslim property developer with a girlfriend who arrived in Albert Square six weeks ago, fall for openly gay Christian Clarke. The pair will share an on-screen kiss.

The BBC has billed the storyline as a traditional love affair, albeit with a modern multicultural twist.

Extra bonus points if the Daily Mail declares this to be explicit gay sex, or similar.

EastEnders: Muslim character to have gay love affair—The Guardian, 28th May 2009.

Vatican City: Someone's clearly been spiking the communion wine over at the Vatican, for the Pope has decreed that opposing pooves is as important as saving the rainforests. Dressed in an exquisitely tailored white dress and red Prada slippers, he also declared that it was vital that people stuck rigidly to the gender stereotypes his church promotes, whilst dismissing all variation from that as mere theories (like all religious bampots, he doesn't know what that word actually means) which lead towards the definitive emancipation of man from creation and the creator (Surely getting rid of our imaginary friends is a good thing?)

No doubt he and his representatives will also cry hate speech and discrimination the moment anyone calls him a bigot or, gasp, takes the piss out of him and his antediluvian cult.

Pope urges defence of heterosexuality—The Guardian, 23rd December 2008. More detailed coverage: Pope Engenders Controversy, at Bartholemew's Notes on Religion.

England: Yet another religious bigot has gone running to the courts after he was sacked for refusing to do his job.

A Christian counsellor from Bristol is to take a charity to a tribunal after he was allegedly sacked for refusing to work with same-sex couples.

Gary McFarlane, a solicitor and former church elder, will allege the Bristol branch of counselling service Relate refused to accommodate his religious beliefs.

Mr McFarlane will claim discrimination on the grounds of religion, unfair dismissal and harassment at Bristol Employment Tribunal Centre.

Counsellor 'sacked for refusing to work with gay couples'—The Independent, 1st December 2008.

Cheryl has noticed an interesting OpEd piece in the Mormon Times, in which science fiction writer Orson Scott Card calls for terrorism against any government which allows same-sex marriage.

I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage, and help me raise my children in a society where they will expect to marry in their turn.

As Cheryl comments, [p]resumably the Department of Homeland Security will be taking note, but it brings two questions to mind. Firstly, how is ensuring his children can marry regardless of the sex of their beloved stopping them from doing so? And doesn't Mormonism historically have a definition of marriage which is ever so slightly different from the one which inspires Card's violent thoughts?

A Call for Revolution—Cheryl's Mewsings, 29th July 2008, citing State job is not to redefine marriage—Mormon Times, 24th July 2008.

England: The Pride London organisers have issued an apology over the discrimination meted out to a transwoman at the event last weekend, and also corrected certain details. They note that the stewards responsible were not employed by Pride London, and that [t]his incident has marred a very successful event and lessons have to be and must be learnt from it..

The full statement follows: