Pooves and closet cases: May 2007 Archives

Poland: It seems that Jerry Falwell is not dead after all—he just moved to Europe and had a sex-change.

A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether the popular BBC TV show Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle.

The spokesperson for children's rights in Poland, Ewa Sowinska, singled out Tinky Winky, the purple character with a triangular aerial on his head.

I noticed he was carrying a woman's handbag, she told a magazine. At first, I didn't realise he was a boy.

According to the BBC, most Poles are joking about her comments. One radio station even had a phone-in to determine the most suspicious children's characters.

Poland targets 'gay' Teletubbies—BBC News, 28th May 2007.

United States: It seems that, at some point, Jerry Falwell managed to accidentally preach a message that bore some resemblance to the recorded teachings of Jesus Christ, and that has annoyed Fred Phelps.

WBC will preach at the memorial service of the corpulent false prophet Jerry Falwell, who spent his entire life prophesying lies and false doctrines like God loves everyone.

Naturally, he concludes that Falwell must be in a well known Norwegian town, and gives his reasons. Two of them are worth repeating, the first being a bit of tedious theological hair-splitting which means nothing to the sensible.

Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC's faithful Bible preaching -- thereby committing the unpardonable sin -- otherwise known as the sin against the Holy Ghost.

Hang on, I thought that sin was specifically denying the Holy Spirit (which does not exist, by the way), not having boring arguments?

Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, etc. All for lucre -- making him guilty of their sins.

Ah yes, pooves. We knew they'd be mentioned soon enough. Of course, because Falwell was not fond of pooves (though he did, towards the end of his life, make the outrageous suggestion that they be treated like human beings), it makes him a hard target for Phelp's obsession with hot man-on-man sex, so the rest of his announcement makes no mention of Falwell whatsoever, just pooves. The announcement is on the home page, and will no doubt change as soon as Phelps thinks about pooves again, so here's a screenshot of the entire page (PNG, 540Kb).

WBC will Preach at Jerry Falwell's Funeral!!—God Hates America, 15th May 2007 (probably).