Religious Tat: March 2002 Archives

Worried about ordinary, evil chewing gum? Bible Gum is for you!

The main ingredients of Bible Gum consist of little folded cartons, probably the smallest of its kind for any product, containing two tabs of chewing gum . Printed on the inside of the carton is a complete, referenced verse from the King James version of the Bible. When the carton is unfolded, the verse is revealed, for the privilege of the holder.

And just to make you feel really good, Bible Gum is meticulously packaged in a workshop for the disabled in Southern Missouri. But what if you have issues with the mess chewing gum leaves but still want some holy sweeties? What about Testamints? A

High quality line of Mints and Lollipops each embossed with a Cross and all of the packs printed with one of over 100 Scripture verse from the Old or New Testaments. Some verses in Espanol. A great Evangelism tool. Ideal for Churches, Religious Schools, Hospitals, Funeral Homes, Nursing Homes, Vacation Bible Schools, Religious Occasions.

This exciting product is distributed by Halo Enterprises, whose mission is to enhance the lives of people we meet by sharing spiritual refreshment while providing economic opportunity. But hang on, these mints must be evil and Satanic! Presumably the gum is okay, because you're not supposed to swallow it. You see, as St. Paul said in his first Epistle to the Corinthians:

Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwells in you? If any man defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.

And what this means is that the One True Christian Diet is... Breatharianism, plus your own urine. Jesus' Diet for your Sins.