Religious Tat: December 2004 Archives

December 30, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Paranoid (not Black Sababth)

Today's bargain is a CD, but it's not just any old dodgy bit of Christian rock, or even C-Rap. No, DEVIL SPEAKS THROUGH MAN is really, really special.

Dear buyer, I want to warn you what is on this CD, I find very frightening and unsettling, It is a man who I believe is possessed bye the devil are some evil sprit. The contexts of the CD which I believe is the Devil himself speaking to the world is a massage to the effect of how he is able to convince the people he doesn't exist. And the way he operates, with out alarming people to his presence threw science and other fields. I personally believe based on the message it is real, but you make up your own mind, but which ever way you see it, the message is based in truth and reality. I do not believe it is some religious person trying to scare people as I first through. I believe the world should hear this warning.

You can have one of 25 copies of this exciting recording for a mere $1 (US - approx £0.03)! The same vendor also offers the ESSENCE OF JESUS CANDLE. It seems He did not pong the same as any other man:

PSALM 45 v 8 In the bible

All thy garments smell of Myrrh, and Aloes, and Cassia out of the Ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad.

This very special candle is made with Myrrh, Aloes and Cassia listed above, which is the scent of Jesus according to Psalm 45 v 8. The candle has a very embracing smell and glow, and gives you a sense of bing close to Jesus. Available in red, white or Green. Candle is brand new.

December 29, 2004

Bargain of the Day: the motherlode discovered! sells Truly God Awful stuff. Stuff like this Guadalupe Belt Buckle or this Jesus Ashtray:

If the Surgeon General's warning isn't enough, maybe a guilt trip from God will get you to quit your nasty habit. Remember: Heaven is non-smoking; you might want to get used to it now. (This message brought to you by the American Cancer Society and the Lord.) Ashtray measures 3.75" and is made of glass. Temporarily Out of Stock.

December 19, 2004

Bargain of the Day: subtle web art

Today's Bargain won't cost you a thing, thanks to the untiring artists at Eziekiel 33 Graphics, assuming you actually have any use for enormous Messianic Jewish (i.e. Christians, but with bacon cravings) web art. And they take commissions too:, but not from just anybody:

I am willing to design specific graphics for websites, if you will just email me with what you want, I'll see what I can come up with! I can design logo's & banners also! I do this as a service for the Body of Christ! There is no charge for these special requests, but I need your website address, so that I can visit your site to make sure that I agree with your biblical views. There is far too much false teachings that I in no way want to be a part of! I am here to serve & to glorify Y'shua! I don't make animated graphics, but I do animated texts, so make sure to check those out, also.

See, not even having a Jewish mother can help with Christian English (thanks, Tez).

December 13, 2004

Bargain of the Day: Baseball Last Supper

Miracles do happen, and to mark a recent one, this Red Sox Supper print has been produced in a limited edition of 500.

Share in the celebration with this limited edition 40" x 20" Giclee Canvas Print! Hang it in your TV room, or order one for your sports bar! This print will last over 100 years and will go down in history as one of the best pieces of memorabilia to come from the biggest win in red sox history. Only 500 have been printed! Get yours now. ($149.99 US)

And for the well-off fan, an even more limited edition of TEN ONLY Special Edition GIGANTIC 40"(3'4") x 80"(6'8") Giclee Framed & Stretched Canvas Prints! is available for a mere $2,000.00 + $200 (S+H).

More impecunious fans can also buy the design as posters, on T-shirts and on mugs. (via Avedon).

December 11, 2004

Bargain of the Day: yet more simulacra

Need money for medical bills? Well why not scribble on a picture of Jesus and sell it, like the vendor of this 'miraculous' Jesus with image of Mother Mary appearing in robes:

This is truly a Miracle

This is the original coloring book drawing, colored by my wife and my 4 year old daughter, not a copy. It has been in our family bible for 25 years.

My wife was explaining to my daughter about Jesus, Heaven and the recent loss of her unborn child while they were coloring this picture of Jesus. While coloring the robes white, the image of Mother Mary appeared from nowhere. Image could not be seen before coloring. It is not on the back side of page. MaryšŚ┤ image was not found in the book on any page.

It is truly a miracle!

Must sell, due to health reasons, my wife will cry for days when this icon leaves the family bible

Still looks like wax over pencil to me.

December 9, 2004

Deck the halls with boughs of fibre optic

Christian blog Going Jesus is celebrating Advent by posting a daily Nativities That Maybe Don't Need to Exist. Every example would be a Bargain of the Day here. So far, my favourite is the Chicken Nativity (I would really have to display this one in a creche made from a KFC bucket).

And that site also provides a related link:

This site is here to show those houses where the residents are likely celebrating a happy holiday, but have no sense of decency in how they choose to celebrate. We will show the garish, the ugly, the weird. For your own sake, and the sake of your neighbors, do not try this at home.

(Thanks, Charlotte.)

Bargain of the Day: simulacra cookbook

Want to Make! Money! Fast!? This Cooking Up Religious Icons CookBook! contains a few ideas:

Wow! This recipe book was inspired by the infamous Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Now you can cook up your own religious icons! Yes, your entire family will enjoy the wonder and awe of gathering around the dinner table to see if Peter, Paul, or ummm, Mary join in your feast. From a sizzling Jewish dish summoning those silly Rabbis of the past, to good 'ol Catholic pastries that may, and I stress MAY, produce images of those belt-yielding, knuckle- slapping nuns of your childhood days, this cookbook covers only the best! Whoo Hooo! Yum. Yum. And, how about Adam and Eve Apple Tarts! Yes indeed, nothin' says lovin' like tempting apple tarts.

25 personal recipies in total, from sinful deserts, heavenly main entrees, and even BREAD, this cookbook may unite your family like never before. lmagine any sinner simply cooking and eating their way to repentence!

Please note that I can cannot guarantee your personal results. Results do vary. Quality of cooking oil, location of home, elevation, angle of stove, overhead lighting, and your own personal disposition may determine results. However, that has yet to be determined. While I may have seen images of religious symbols when cooking from these recipies, I also believe that Martha Stewart is a Saint. OMG!! Wouldn't it be great if Martha's face showed up in the humble pie recipe! Note: Not responsible if John Lennon appears in any dish created.

Finally, if the bidding exceeds $2,000, I will gift to you a walking cane that does absolutely nothing but assist in leveraging a person that needs balance.

On-line casinos are highly encouraged to bid!!

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Religious Tat category from December 2004.

Religious Tat: November 2004 is the previous archive.

Religious Tat: January 2005 is the next archive.

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