Religious Tat: January 2005 Archives

January 23, 2005

Bargain of the Day: all kinds of everything

A Miss Poppy Dixon recently left a comment on an earlier Bargain, so imagine my delight when I discover she is an online retailer of religious tat, and contemporary kitsch with religious themes. Among the genuine tat, my favourites include this Glow-in-the-Dark Christian Switch Plate:

Plastic, gothic-shaped luminescent switch plate with gilt relief text, Bless this house Oh Lord we pray. Make it safe by night and day. Bas relief face of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at the top with additional text, I will bless every home where a picture of my heart shall be exposed and honored. Really pretty. 6 1/2"x 2 3/4"

Miss Dixon can also supply you with vintage Christian tracts, in themed packs. I'm tempted by the False Faiths Series which could include such delights as The Black Art of Witchcraft, 4 Things God Wants the Jew to Know or The Priest Who Found Christ. The End Times Series also includes a number of items of interest here at Prattle Towers, such as Beware 666 and The Mark of the Beast.

Among the selection of contemporary kitsch, all I can say is send me the entire Hell-o Satan range now!.

January 19, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Jesus tortilla

Religious simulacra continue to appear on eBay. The latest proclaims Jesus appeared on my Tortilla! The description merely assures us it is not joke, and leaves us to contemplate the photo in peace.

January 12, 2005

Bargain of the Day: a bottle of water

Fed up with Strathmore? Why not try this Shaman Blessed Holy Rain Water. With a starting bid of $30 (US) required, it might seem a tad expensive, but it's special, you see.

This water was gathered during the strongest lightning storms that occured last year. It was then blessed during every full moon-plus: a blue moon, every lightning storm all year long, a solar eclipse.

Bless your house, property, belongings, car/truck. babies-anything that comes to mind. A years worth of work and blessings.

You are bidding on one bottle of blessed and charged holy water.

January 8, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Jesus in my saucepan

The over-active imaginations are hard at work on eBay still. How else would this cartoon of Zaphod Beeblebrox become MYSTERIOUS IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST?

[The face of Jesus (on E) in a pita bread]THIS IS AN ORDINARY KITCHEN COOKING POT. ONE NIGHT AFTER MY BROTHER WASHED THE DISHES HE WENT FOR THE POT TO PUT IT AWAY AND AS THE POT BEGAN TO DRY AN UNUSUAL IMAGE OF JESUS CHRIST APPEARED. HE LEFT THE POT ON THE COUNTER GRABBED HIS CAMERA AND SENT SOME PICTURES TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND ASKED, "WHAT DO YOU SEE" WELL OF COURSE EVERYONE ELSE SAW THE SAME MYSTERIOUS IMAGE. HE DECIDED TO LEAVE THE POT AS IT AND LET IT CONTINUE TO DRY ON IT'S OWN ASSUMING ONCE COMPLETELY DRY THE IMAGE WOULD GO AWAY. IT'S BEEN ABOUT 3 MONTHS AND THE IMAGE REMAINS THE SAME. DON'T BELIEVE IT? ARE THE PICTURES NOT CONVINCING ENOUGH? BID AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. THE IMAGE IS REAL. AS REAL AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE. IT'S A MUST SEE TO BELIEVE. PLEASE EMAIL WITH ANY QUESTIONS BEFORE BIDDING. NO PHONY BIDDERS PLEASE, JESUS IS WATCHING.

January 5, 2005

Bargain of the Day: human remains

You too can have a bit of someone's dead body in your home! Well, the vendor doesn't describe it in those terms - they say it's a 1st CLASS RELIGIOUS RELIC ST.JOHN NEUMANN:

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A 1ST CLASS RELIGIOUS RELIC,ST JOHN NEUMANN WHO WAS BORN ON MARCH 28TH 1811 AND DIED JANUARY 5 1860.HIS BODY LIES IN A GLASS CASE IN PHILADELPHIA,PA.THIS RELIC HAS SOME OF HIS BONE INSIDE AND HAS A UNBROKEN THREAD AND WAX SEAL IN THE BACK.MY CAMERA DOES NOT TAKE GOOD PICTURES BUT THE RELIC IS AS DESCRIBED AND IN GOOD CONDITION.DURING ST.NEUMANNS LIFE HE PREFORMED MANY MIRACLES AND THERE IS ALOT ABOUT HIM THAT YOU CAN READ ON THE INTERNET.GOOD LUCK.

Which is a bit too ghoulish even for this old goth.

January 4, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Jesus pita

It seems you can't keep a good joke down, even when it's reached the point where it's no longer funny. As evidence, I present to you this JESUS PITA BREAD SAD FACE COLLECTIBLE/COLLECTABLE:

[The face of Jesus (on E) in a pita bread] HERE IS A PHOTO OF A PITA BREAD FROM WHICH I WAS EATING LAST YEAR WHEN I SAW JESUS' SAD FACE STARING RIGHT BACK AT ME. I IMMEDIATELY WAS TAKEN BY IT AND HAD TO SAVE JESUS. I'VE HELD ONTO IT FOR SOME TIME BUT CANNOT CARE FOR IT AS I PROPERLY SHOULD. IT IS NOT MOLDY IN ANY SORT OF WAY AND IS NOW REALLY HARDENED BY THE WAY THE WORLD IS TODAY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF JESUS PITA, PLEASE BID ON IT RESPONSIBLY. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.

January 3, 2005

Bargain of the Day: spooky bottle

Today's bargain is one of those metal wine decanters, like the ones you can buy in any Spanish tourist trap. So why mention it here? Because its really Solid Brass Bottle with Spout (Possibly Haunted) which May Contain Genie / Ghost / Spirit !!. Note that the vendor makes no claim that this is the case, just that it might.

Spooky Spooky Spooky

On offer is one solid brass bottle. It has a handle, a spout and a lid on a hinge. The brass is slightly aged however it could easily be polished to look good as new*. There is also a small chip on the spout. It is of a middle eastern-esque style, however I am not sure of its origin as I will explain further on.

I am unsure of the age of this item as one day my friend found it at his house. No one in his family had any idea where it had come from. It was quite the mystery!

He decided to give it to me to list on ebay because we thought it could possibly be haunted and we didn't really want to have that sort of thing around.

(It's pretty spooky).

A lot of wierd stuff has been constantly happening to us since we found it. We can never go out with out some odd occurance. The Lights in my friends room shorted out and wont work and and no girls have been out with either myself or my friend since we found it (despite both being attractive) and a lot more unfortunate happenings. I'm not sure but I think it all has to do with the bottle.

But don't worry the item is not cursed, it is in fact lucky the spirit just doesn't like us due to previous disrespect of its home.

I can't guarantee that it is haunted but I believe it is.

In fact If you're not into haunted stuff then It would make a nice decorative feature for your house regardless.


If you any questions about the unusual nature of this item feel free to ask.

*Polishing may or may not release entity possibly haunting bottle

There are NO, I repeat NO refunds on this item.

The bidding currently stands at $30 (AUS).

January 1, 2005

Bargain of the Day: expensive photograph

Today's bargain is a picture of a church on fire, and you can buy it now for a mere $30,000.00 (US)! So what's so special about it? Well, if you are not blind and have any imagination whatsoever, some bits of the picture look like faces, and you know who that must be:

Home during the Holidays, I was looking through some old photos that my mom had and stumbled upon this jem. It was early on the morning of Jan 1st 1990, when this church (St. Joseph DuMoine ) caught on fire. It was 15 years ago to the start of this auction.

This photo was not developed right after the fire, in fact, my mother cannot remember when it was developed. After being developed the photo was aired in the local paper, showing the phenomenon.

I could put many names on the faces within the photo, but it is my full belief that it is the Lord himself that can be seen in the flames above the cross. There are another two faces that I can see in the photo, the second one is on the left hand side on the pavement, between the fire hose and the snow, and the third is in the flames of the church. The third face is located in the flames to the left of the piece of white wood on the right hand side of the front of the church. These are indicated on the second photo with black circles. The third face is much more distinguishable in the actual photo, but none the less is present in the scanned image.

I am not looking for publicity, which is why I am not putting it into the media, I hope that this photo brings the winning bidder luck and good fortune.

Well, no publicity other than that which is inevitable when you put something silly on eBay for a ridiculous price!

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Religious Tat category from January 2005.

Religious Tat: December 2004 is the previous archive.

Religious Tat: February 2005 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Religious Tat: Monthly Archives

Resources

About this site
Contact the Prattle
Ego Corner

The Pagan Prattle
c/o P.O. Box 666
Edinburgh EH7 5YW
Scotland

Syndication

Licence

Creative Commons License
The original material in this weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.