Religious Tat: August 2005 Archives

August 30, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Le Dolmen de Bagneux

France: The perfect accessory for the well-heeled neopagan is on the market. The Dolmen de Bagneux is located close to the town of Saumur in the heart of the Loire Valley.

[Le Dolmen de Bagneux]The famous Dolmen in Bagneux is probably one of the most majestic French dolmens and the largest of the 4,500 dolmens spread out on about 60 French departments.

The overall length of this dolmen is over 23 meters (75 feet) and its chamber is over 18 meters (60 feet) long. As all dolmens, the 'Great Covered stone" in Bagneux, was a large chamber tomb which must have contained a great number of prehistoric skeletons during the neolithic age, i.e.from 4,000 to 2,000 B.C., that is about 5,000 years ago.

In addition to the domen itself, the sale includes a commercial building currently used as a brewery and restaurant, and two flats.

August 23, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Photos of spilled coffee

Today's bargain is a set of pictures of an accidental spill made by a child under the influence of a strong, but legal, drug. Or rather, it's a JESUS COFFEE SPILL ANGEL HOLY SPIRIT - set of 4 photos. Unlike other vendors of similar simulacra, the seller here does not make any particularly ludicrous claims and seems to regard it all as a happy accident, rather than an actual work of their imaginary friend.

[An interestingly shaped coffee stain]These are photos of a coffee spill that appears to be in the image of JESUS, an angel, or perhaps an apostle, with arms lifted toward heaven. Tongues of fire or maybe the Holy Spirit are drifting upward.

Every morning my 6 year old daughter just has to have her cup of coffee. So my wife mixes her about a half cup of milk, some Carnation french vanilla creamer, and a splash of coffee. Needless to say, my daughter is not always neat and is quite often spinning her chair around to see Spongebob. Today, about a half hour after she finished, my 10 year old son hurried us into the kitchen to show us JESUS. We were surprised he even noticed it, since the image actually formed upside down - my daughter was sitting at the breakfast bar, facing it. I took the photos from both in front of, and behind the counter. The second picture shows the view from the direction she was facing.

I am being 100 percent honest when I say that this is not a hoax, and that these photos have not been staged or doctored in any way. This is an actual coffee (albeit with lots of milk and creamer!) spill that occurred by happenstance, while my daughter was having her morning cup of java - we even had to wipe some off of her chair (you can see where it dripped over the edge of the counter). I am also being 100 percent honest when I say, that while we are devout Christians, we don't necessarily believe that such things occur by divine intervention or have any specific spiritual meaning, I know that some folks do. That's why I'm offering this set of 4 photos for sale. They will be printed on 4 inch by 6 inch, premium glossy photo paper. There will be one set of these and one set only. That's my solemn promise to the winning bidder.

August 13, 2005

Bargain of the Day: mucky spoon

Today we have yet another 'holy miracle' which leads one to assume that the Christian god is a little bit banal and unambitious as deities go. And notice the attempt by the person blessed with such a holy item to mislead people searching for entertainment: Holy Miracle! Mary & Jesus on Spoon! Not iPod, Psp,Xbox. No doubt the tall tale attached to the object for sale is as genuine and honest as the auction title itself.

[Virgin Mary on a spoon, apparantly]I cant believe it. I've been trying to wash this stain off of my spoon for months! I have scrubbed it with a scrubbing pad and put it into the dishwasher countless times. I finally looked at it up-close.......It is a modern day miracle! Amazingly it never washed off! Look for yourself! This is astonishing! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is the true image of the Blessed Virgin Mary......I cant stop looking at it....My friends have been taking pictures of themselves with the spoon. They are as amazed as I am......AND....I know that no one will believe this, but last week I carried the spoon with me....I just put it in my pocket. I then went for a walk with my dog. (He has a very strong leash) Well he bites through the leash and runs directly in front of the traffic of cars passing by.(4 lanes!) Every car stopped.............I know deep in my heart that Mary and Jesus were looking out for me and my best friend...I didnt really think about it until I returned home and pulled it out of my pocket! Jesus was there with me! Now I have the spoon on display for my friends and family to see.....The problem is people I dont know have been calling me to come see the spoon. I dont wanna be the guy that has the spoon that everybody wants to look at...I have a normal job and I would like to keep it that way. This spoon needs to be in a museum, church, or maybe the Vatican for all I know. So here it is. It is the real thing. This kind of thing does not happen everyday. The spoons dimensions are 20cm x 4cm. The bottom of the spoon says IKEA. The pic with the guy holding the spoon and the five dollar bill is Mr.M.Gonzales. He offered me five dollars for the miracle spoon. Thats a pretty good price.But then I thought to put it on eBay. Everyone in the world will have an opportunity to bid on the Blessed Virgin Mary Spoon. The pic of the guy with the tie is Dr.Vaughn. He was truly amazed and wanted his photo taken with The Virgin Mary. The pic of the nice young man with longer hair was the pizza delivery guy. (I think his name was Burt.) He wanted the spoon instead of the tip! The pic with the young woman is a famous personalty. We will call her "Molly" for now.(I can not give up the identification of the famous person in this photo)...She stared at the spoon for a while and said that she saw some flashes of light come from it. The last image is a pic of a Virgin Mary painting...She is beautiful in this painting and I think that the spoon is of uncanny resemblance....................................................Up for auction today is the only Blessed Virgin Mary Spoon that you will ever see in you entire life! Go ahead and bid on the spoon! It will most likely change the Spirit of you and the people around you!(Only the spoon is for sale). Thank you and have a wonderful day!

It would also be unkind of me to suggest a certain similarity between this image and the Velvet Vulva featured a few days ago.

August 2, 2005

Bargain of the Day: A load of fanny

Today's bargain is a fine example of Neopagan tat. The Velvet Vulva™ is A line of fine purses and magickal bags.

More than a sumptuous Renaissance bag, the Velvet Vulva represents in three-dimensional form the sacred portal to the feminine temple. Each has sumptuous fabric labia and a beautiful button clitoris.

A Velvet Vulva might become your everyday bag; it might always stay on your altar; or it might be acquired for special occasions. (One of the first Vulvas I made was part of the bridal trousseau of a close friend of mine.) Naturally, what you put in your Velvet Vulva can have tremendous symbolic and magickal significance.

The creation pictured at right is a full length medicine bag, intended for ritual and ceremony, as well as everyday use as a purse.

In whatever way the Velvet Vulva is respectfully employed, it will express and honor the Goddess within and without.

As in life, Velvet Vulvas come in various sizes, shapes, and styles. "You will know when you have found a good fit!"

Hats and pillows based on the same design are also available.

August 1, 2005

Bargain of the Day: Dead fictional character on toast

Red Wolf points out an auction which will be of great interest to those who found the Prattle by searching for harry potter porno, harry potter vampires and harry potter porn. Or perhaps not, as it doesn't feature anything vague pornographic or have anything to do with the undead.

But, the auction itself is full of spoilers for the sixth book, so if you intend to read it, do not read any further!

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Religious Tat category from August 2005.

Religious Tat: July 2005 is the previous archive.

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