Recently in Christian Religious Tat Category

April 13, 2011

Any old Iron?


Jesus crucifiction nails "found"

The film, 'The Nails of the Cross' by Simcha Jacobovici, follows three years of research during which he presents his assertions - some based on empirical data, others requiring much imagination and a leap of faith.

He hails the find as historic, but most experts and scholars dismissed his case as far-fetched, some calling it a publicity stunt.

Some of us might actually call it the demented ravings of a complete head-case, actually.

Daily Telegraph, 13th February 2011.

February 8, 2011

Pratlets for 8th February 2011

February 3, 2011

Bargain of the Day: Jesus Brolly

jesus-brolly.pngToday's fabulous offer is not, as it might seem at first, an umbrella which was seen by Jesus himself. The seller of Umbrella Jesus Image Seen Worldwide Featured In Book simply needs to win an auction for some punctuation.

Up for auction I have a truly AMAZING item. This is an umbrella with the image of Jesus Christ on the cross. I have had this umbrella for many years and some how pictures of it that I had on my computer leaked onto Youtube. I do not know how but the author of the new book Look It's Jesus Amazing Holy Visions in Everyday Life saw them and contacted me. He wanted more pictures and permission to use them in this new book he was working on. I gave him my permission and in exchange he sent me an autographed copy of the book when it was released which you can see from the picture. (THE BOOK IS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS AUCTION).

The editor of Entertainment Weekly loved Look! It's Jesus! so much that she put it in the Jan. 22, 2010 issue.

I will not tell the story of when and how I found the umbrella because it is all featured in the book. Which is a very interesting book by the way. But it is an interesting story.

Again this is the actual umbrella that is featured in this book as "Umbrella Jesus". This is not a man-made item or a scam. I even have the original picture I sent to the publisher on a disc somewhere and if I find it I will send it along with the item but once you see the umbrella you will see that it is the real deal.

It is hard to see from the pictures but looking at the umbrella, which is worn all the way around, the one side you can clearly see Jesus with his arms spread and his legs crossed and you can see his head bowing down with hair and a beard.

I would not recommend trying to use this umbrella because it is older and has some wear but it is a truly amazing item.

This item has truly been a blessing to me and I hope it will be a blessing to you.


I have to admit, I cannot clearly see Jesus. I can clearly see a pair of nicely rounded buttocks framing a rather well-used arsehole, though.

February 2, 2011

Bargain of the Day: Holy Rubba-Bandz

xtian-bandz.jpgIt's not often that the vendor of religious tat is truly aware of the nature of their wares, but this eBay vendor puts it right there in the title of the auction: Holy Bandz 1 Dozen Christian Wrist Bands silly.

They also come in glitter.

September 30, 2010

Bargain of the Day: a reminder of the pre-Christian origins of Easter

England: The Church of England has come clean and admitted that Easter is nothing but an appropriated pagan festival. The admission isn't intentional, though. The Church is producing a product to remind people of the real meaning of Easter. Their choice of symbol? An egg, starring their highly original zombie deity. Perhaps they'd like to further remind us by crucifying a few rabbits?

Church of England egg hopes to unveil the true meaning of Easter-The Guardian, 30th September 2010.

July 13, 2009

Bargain of the Day: a spectacularly ugly doll

Not pretty, but very religious.One of the claims made in favour of religion is that is inspires great art. Today's bargain offers a strong counterpoint to that argument. In case you are wondering, the item in question is a hand-made figurine or, in the words of its creator, Ooak polymer clay mini girl and worship flag. There are many, many more pictures on the auction page, where we learn that this is not a one-off, but part of The Worship Collection from Mar’s little Universe.

Hello from The Mar's little Universe Nursery. This is my 2nd in the worship mini collection. She is a full sculpt of polymer clay with blue glass bead eyes, and light blonde wavy(very out of control) mohair. Her robe is white w/purple hearts, and her flag is swirled white onto purple. She was lightly blushed on the face w/artist acrylic paint(a little gloss on her lips) and lightly sprayed with a satin finish on her body and flag. I also marked her on the bottom. This is totally my creation inspired by my own worship time with flags to my amazing loving God, and like the rest of my creations-no molds either. It is a very true original one of a kind in every way!

Thank you for looking. I know this is not perfect, but she is made with love. Note: This is not a toy..and should not be given to small children.

Presumably because it would frighten them. It's nice to know they're meant to be hearts, too, as I was wondering as to the religious significance of a cowhide dress. And note she says she was inspired by God to create this, so no more of the great art argument, okay?

June 9, 2009

Bargain of the Day: mail-order corpus crispie

A church is making a remarkable offer of interest of host desecraters everywhere: mail-order consecrated host. The cleric responsible, though, has already sussed that sensible and differently-superstitious people will take advantage of the service:

He said the organisation was taking care and concern over appropriate packaging for the wafer, which is no more than a millimetre thick, to ensure it remained intact on arrival, before adding that anyone - including atheists and even satanists - could avail themselves of the service. Jesus did not make these distinctions. He gave himself to anyone and everyone. It makes no difference, the body of Christ is redeeming.

Would that last sentence be a health claim? Enquiring minds want to know whether the Open Episcopal Church believes in transubstantiation, as that surely affects the usefulness of the cracker for shenanigans?

June 4, 2009

Crochet religious toys

Not wanting to step on the toes of What Not to Crochet, but there are some bizarre religious patterns out there. For example, there's this Venus of Willendorf doll. The same designer has also come up with a really impressive Kali and the Virgin Mary, which is an interesting threesome really.

Another Goddess can be found in the form of Blessed Elements' Goddess for all Seasons, and the patterns for decorating her for spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Those inclined towards East Asian traditions can make themselves a Maneki Neko. And we must not forget Cthulhu.

Not a toy, but really, just read the explanation of this pattern: Goddess Blessed Study Bookmark.

November 28, 2008

Bargain of the Day: well-priced T-shirts

This amuses me:

fail owned pwned pictures
via Failblog

October 9, 2008

Bargain of the Day: Kitty-chan died for your sins

Hello Kitty cross rosary pendant.The amount of Hello Kitty religious tat on the market is not limited to the unofficial, it seems. For example, here is a Hello Kitty Cross Rosary pendant for sale on a Japanese Sanrio web site. The cross is about 3.0 x 3.2 cm in size and is made of sterling silver with a rhodium finish. Four cubic zirconia stones are placed in the centre of the flowers. It comes with a 50cm chain, and costs a mere ¥9,800 (approximately £45).

Hello Kitty cross rosary pendant.But that's not all. Look what Hello Kitty Hell found: a blinged out Hello Kitty cross, with diamante everywhere and a Kitty head that swings in front. No news on whether it sings Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, but it ought to.

But Kitty's for everyone, not just Christians. Again, unlikely to be official product is this Hello Kitty yarmulke:

Hello Kitty cross rosary pendant.

October 8, 2008

Bargain of the Day: Hail Kitty full of grace

Hello Kitty conscripted by evangelists.Our local Chinese supermarket sells Hello Kitty stickers. Today I picked up some that I suspect are definitely not Sanrio official licensed product. Even though I don't read Portuguese, the slogans didn't look right. Indeed, they looked Prattleworthy, so I spent an extra quid and then used Google Translate to check the slogans. And what did I get?

  • Let Sign That You Call That Came To Be The Son Of God!
  • The love of Jesus and for all!
  • Open your heart too!
  • Much Life!
  • Come on!
All very odd things for a lesbianism-glorifying Satanic creation to be saying. Click on the image for a photo of the whole sheet.

December 12, 2007

Bargain of the Day: Holy water

It seems there are a number of companies taking advantage of people gullible enough to buy tap water packaged in religious bottles:

Inspired, perhaps, by vitamin and energy waters, a number of new companies have begun making more explicit claims: their water doesn't just promote good health, it actually makes you good. Holy Drinking Water, produced by a California-based company called Wayne Enterprises, is blessed in the warehouse by an Anglican or Roman Catholic priest (after a thorough background check). Like a crucifix or a rosary, a bottle of Holy Drinking Water is a daily reminder to be kind to others, says Brian Germann, Wayne's CEO. Another company makes Liquid OM, superpurified bottled water containing vibrations that promote a positive outlook. Invented by Kenny Mazursky, a sound therapist in Chicago, the water purportedly possesses an energy field that Mazursky makes by striking a giant gong and Tibetan bowls in its vicinity. He says the good energy can be felt not just after you drink the water but before, when you're holding the bottle.

The most recent entry in this niche is Spiritual Water. It's purified municipal water, sold with 10 different Christian labels. The Virgin Mary bottle, for example, has the Hail Mary prayer printed on the back in English and Spanish. Spiritual Water helps people to stay focused, believe in yourself and believe in God, says Elicko Taieb, the Florida-based company's founder who was formerly in the pest-control business. All three companies give a portion of their profits to charity.

Bless This Bottled WaterNewsweek, 17th December 2007 (thanks, Novice Nun the Wiser OPI).

September 25, 2007

Bargain of the Day: bits of cloth

Today's bargain is only a little bit overpriced, being free:

In a very modern take on the age-old circulation of saintly bones and torn clothing, thousands of devotees of Pope John Paul II are going online to apply for certified shreds of his white cassocks as the late pontiff heads swiftly towards sainthood.

Supplied without charge, the circular dots of cotton, measuring about 4mm in diameter, come pressed into a postcard bearing a photo of John Paul on one side and a prayer on the other. They are available by clicking a link on the website of the diocese of Rome and filling in the email application.

The tiny dots of cloth have been available on request since the pope's death in 2005, but when a religious wires service published details on September 13 of the online offer, 5,000 applications promptly poured in, said Don Marco Fibbi, spokesman for the diocese.

Now available online: Pope John Paul II's robesThe Guardian, 24th September 2007.

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This page is an archive of recent entries in the Christian Religious Tat category.

Buddhist Religious Tat is the previous category.

Hello Kitty Religious Tat is the next category.

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