Superstition and Other Silliness: June 2002 Archives

June 28, 2002

Offerings clog canal

London's Hindu community has been asked not to wrap religious offerings in plastic. Items such as barley and coconuts are regularly thrown into the Grand Union Canal in the hope that they will eventually end up in the Ganges, but are being wrapped to protect them on their long journey. As a result, they are more likely to end up in a skip as the non-biodegradeable offerings are a danger to wildlife. Canal clogged by religious offerings - Yahoo! News, 28th June 2002.

June 26, 2002

Pooclear fallout shelter

Hindus have nothing to worry about should the tension over Kashmir turn nuclear - cow poo will protect them. The Uttar Pradesh Cow Protection Commission has recommended smearing cow dung on the body to protect against radiation burns, and daubing it on buildings to prevent fallout. Radheshyam Gupta, a representative for the commission, said:

Even if the enemy carries out the threat to bomb us with nukes we don't have to panic. You can fully protect yourselves by covering the roof with cow dung. Applying cow dung paste to the body from head to toe will serve as an extra shield.

Hindu group recommends cow dung against nuclear fallout - Ananova, June 24th 2002.

Diviners investigate defenestrations

Austrian military officials are using diviners to help find out why soldiers are sleepwalking and falling out of windows. A representative said:

The army keeps an open mind on such things. If the mystics do find negative energy then we will be taking whatever action they deem necessary to make sure it is dealt with. In the first case the man suffered serious internal injuries, but made a full recovery. In the second case the sleepwalker injured his head and broke several bones, and is still in hospital. There have also been several other cases where we awoke the soldier in time. We have no idea what could be causing it.

Army hopes divination will solve mystery of sleep-walking soldiers - Ananova, June 23rd 2002.

June 21, 2002

Braying for rain

Villagers in a drought-stricken part of India have married off two donkeys to appease Varuna, a Hindu rain god.

Dressed up like a bride and groom, the donkeys were escorted to a temple in the village in Tamil Nadu state. A priest then chanted prayers and led the donkeys in a ritual ceremony to propitiate the rain god, Varuna. The animals were then led in a procession that ended with a wedding feast - for the donkeys and residents in the village of Sakkayanayakanur.

Indian villagers marry off two donkeys - Ananova, June 20th 2002.

June 20, 2002

Vicars want 'dress-down Sunday'

A motion presented to next month's Church of England General Synod would, if passed, allow vicars to wear ordinary clothing to celebrate communion rather than the traditional cassocks and surplices. Reverend Mark Tanner of Southwell, Nottingham said that the traditional vestments made vicars seem apart from everybody else. He told the BBC we want the freedom to make what we wear more culturally appropriate to our congregation. Vicars campaign for casual dress - BBC News, June 19th 2002.

June 19, 2002

Jesus would be Wiccan

If Jesus were here today, he'd be a witch according to Wiccan author Carl McColman. He gives 13 reasons why, of which the first is the most compelling:

Jesus criticized the hypocrisy and legalism of the religious status quo, and chose to embrace an alternative spiritual path. Matthew 23:1-36. In Jesus' day, the religious establishment included the Pharisees and Sadducees, dominant factions in first century Judaism. Jesus' alternative path followed the radical teachings of his mentor, John the Baptist. Nowadays, in Europe and the Americas the status quo is mainly Christianity; the path of the Goddess -- Wicca -- is one of the most compelling of available spiritual alternatives. Many people who embrace Wicca have the exact same criticisms of Christianity that Jesus is said to have had about the religious establishment in his day. Hypocrisy, legalism, blind obedience of the rules to the point of ignoring spiritual values like love, trust, and freedom -- these are the problems Jesus attacked in the official religion in his day, and that many Wiccans today see in the religious status quo of our time. Perhaps Jesus, were he here today, would join Wiccans in criticizing mainstream religion and trying to find an alternative way.

Naturally this upsets fundies, especially the ones who like to pretend they used to be Wiccan. (Thanks Jan - do you ever do any actual work?)

June 17, 2002

Old woman unwell.

Natalia Petrovna Belikhodze is over 100 years old and claims she is really Princess Anastasia Romanova - a member of the old Russian royal family who was thought to have been killed in the 1917 revolution. Now she has told Vladimir Putin in a letter that the constant prayers for her and her family are making her ill:

Now, my health is getting worse, because the whole Orthodox Russia is praying for my family and myself, for the Romanov family was canonized... I ask for your assistance in solving my question and returning my name and rendering medical assistance to me for the time of solving this question.?

Pravda is sceptical:

Orthodox Russia is guilty of Mrs Belikhodze's weak health. If she addresses not Putin, but a doctor, he would explain to her that weak health in the age over 100 is not unusual, so Orthodox Russia's prayers have nothing to do with it.

Pseudo-Anastasia is ill because she is being prayed for - Pravda, 17th June 2002 (Russian version, just in case Steve wants some practice).

June 14, 2002

Black Jesus

The projects have a new Messiah. Black Jesus, a homeless evangelical street preaching prophet. Temple of Black Jesus tells you everything you need to know.

Many peoples say Jesus was a black man. So it stands to reason that he had need for a round bubble butt and pair of wobbly big brown breasteses. Jesus was a man. Mens have the cravings. Don't give me that saint shee-it. Jesus had the rubber neck when a fine black mamma with an ample breasteses walks by. Jesus is getting a hard bone just like we all does from times to times. I even think Jesus got laid. Yeah, Jesus was a playa. But the girls didn't get pregnant 'cause jesus zapped them asses infertile. He can do that you know. He's ain't gonna bother hisself with the child support. He don't wants to be nobody's baby's daddy. Jesus was a man! Mens loves the big butts, big legs, and the full breast! It's just the way things is. Even Jesus, the son of God, know that.

Once you've studied this unusual gospel in depth, you can buy your very own Black Jesus Action Figure.

June 12, 2002

I have mail

I recently received this interesting variation on the Nigerian Scam:

Return-path: <clinic1@caramail.com>
Delivery-date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 12:28:10 +0100
Received: from mail2.caramail.com ([213.193.13.93])
by raq3.antipope.org with esmtp (Exim 3.13 #1)
id 17Hjoo-0007XN-00
for xxxxxx@antipope.org; Tue, 11 Jun 2002 12:28:10 +0100
Received: from caramail.com (www23.caramail.com [213.193.13.33])
by mail2.caramail.com (8.8.8/8.8.8) with SMTP id NAA11264;
Tue, 11 Jun 2002 13:28:05 +0200 (DST)
Posted-Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 13:28:05 +0200 (DST)
From: PENTICOSTAL CHURCH <clinic1@caramail.com>
To: clinic1@caramail.com
Message-ID: <1023794884021751@caramail.com>
X-Mailer: Caramail - www.caramail.com
X-Originating-IP: [64.110.29.56]
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL ASSISTANCE
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 13:28:04 GMT+1
Content-Type: multipart/mixed;
boundary="=_NextPart_Caramail_0217511023794884_ID"


[ The following text is in the "iso-8859-1" character set. ]
[ Your display is set for the "US-ASCII" character set. ]
[ Some characters may be displayed incorrectly. ]


PENTICOSTAL CHURCH CLINIC PENTICOSTAL CHURCH MISSION INC
23 BPV 4700 ABIDJAN 23 23 BPV 4700 ABIDJAN 23
E MAIL.clinic1@caramail.com E MAIL pentmission@yahoo.com


Dear Sir,
I have a business proposal which I know might interest you. My name is REV.Dr.FRANCIS TAMA, A Rev and a medical Doctor,the sole proprietor of the above specialist Hospital and also the REVEREND of the above church. I understand that through Internet is not the best way to link up with you because of the confidentiality which the transaction demands.

However, I have already sent you this same letter by post one month ago, but I am not sure if it did get to you since I have not heard from you, hence my resending it again. I have a widow here in my Clinic who is on a political Asylum in Abidjan-Cote d'Ivoire Refugee Camp, she has been so ill for some couple of months now. This woman confided in me based on the free medical attention I have been giving to her and her children.

She had revealed to me of her life history and about her late husband who was a top military officer in one of the west African country(Sierra-Leone) before his death during the civil war and the fortune she inherited from her late husband. She has asked me to source a credible and trust worthy partner abroad who will manage her funds for investment, the sum of Twenty Eight Million US Dollars (US$28m) which her late husband deposited in a safe Fiduciary Agent in Europe through a Security Company based in Abidjan.

I wish to chose you for this venture and I believe you will be in the position to assist in managing this large sum in a profitable venture and also to help create a safe heaven for her and her children by making a residence arrangement for them in your country. After she had disclosed this information to me; I saw the reason to request from her to allow me see the documents relating to this deposit of which she did, now I have the documents covering the deposit which I will not hesitate to fax to you the copies as a prove for your confirmation as soon as I receive your response via email.

I am obliged to assist this lady knowing too well that she has a limited knowledge in the business world and as such she can not manage this funds her self and in Africa in order to avoid any trace of her by the government, I will need from you a mutual understanding and then we shall make plans on how the funds would be secured into an account in your name; after which you will arrange and travel immediately to meet with the security company Agent in Europe for clearing.

This amount is contained in a sealed trunk box and it is registered and declared as containing family treasures, so even as I am writing you now the security company and it's Agent is not aware that there is cash money in the trunk, let me assure you that this transaction is 100% hitch and risk free,from my discussion with her, she has agreed to give you a reasonable amount of percentage for your involvement in this and this has to be discussed upon the receipt of your quick response.

Thanks and God bless for your understanding,

Sincere regards,

REV.Dr.FRANCIS TAMA.

June 4, 2002

WWJE?

Breatharianism isn't the only contender for the One True Jesus Diet (see March 9th 2002). A doctor in Orlando, Florida, has written 21 "Bible Cure" books which provide Biblical guidelines for healthy eating. He follows in a long tradition - books linking faith and health have been around since at least the 1950s. Holy diet - Books advise on maximizing health by dining the way Jesus did - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, May 20th 2002. (via Holy Weblog).

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Superstition and Other Silliness category from June 2002.

Superstition and Other Silliness: May 2002 is the previous archive.

Superstition and Other Silliness: July 2002 is the next archive.

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