Willies: January 2005 Archives

January 28, 2005

Phallic symbol erect again

The People's Republic of Yorkshire: The Barwick-in-Elmet maypole will be back this year, because villagers have worked out how to erect it in accordance with recent bureaucratic health and safety regulations.

Residents at Barwick-in-Elmet had traditionally lowered and then raised the 86ft wooden pole with ropes, ladders and plenty of human effort.

It was last done this way in 1999 since when health and safety regulations have been made tougher.

These caused problems for villagers in 2002 -- when the triennial festival was last held -- and so they held the celebrations without the maypole ceremony.

But now they say they can meet the regulations and will first take down and then raise up the pole again, using a tractor and crane and manual labour.

Nigel Trotter, a qualified engineer, was confident the village could meet regulations and called a public meeting to galvanise support. Now chairman of the maypole committee, he said: Although the lifting techniques will be new to the ceremony, they are a logical development of the traditional techniques used over the past 50 years.

The maypole is traditionally lowered to ground at Easter and then raised again at Spring Bank Holiday (formerly Whitsuntide) which this year falls on Monday, May 30.

The festival will include all the usual traditional amusements, including a procession, maypole dancing and the crowning of a May Queen.

We're back in pole position... - Yorkshire Evening Post, 28th January 2005.

January 23, 2005

God prefers dildos to religious books

United States: A Christian book store in Putney, Kentucky is likely to close due to poor sales. Mike Braithwaite, the owner, turned his sex shop into a Christian store when he found God, but it seems God did not approve of the move, and the business is now for sale.

Braithwaite had a conversion in 2002 after he was booked on charges of distributing obscene materials at his Love World store. He decided to burn all the leather gear, rubber playthings and other naughty merchandise and convert his business into a Bible bookstore named Mike's Place. The obscenity charges were dropped.

Despite admitting burning rubber, he appears not to have been charged under any environmental protection laws.

Porn Shop Turned Christian Bookstore For Sale - Wave 3 TV, 20th January 2005.

January 7, 2005

God disagrees with Phelps over Sweden

Fred Phelps will be really upset when he hears that a genetic resistance to HIV/AIDS is most prevalent among Swedes.

Genetic resistance to AIDS works in different ways and appears in different ethnic groups. The most powerful form of resistance, caused by a genetic defect, is limited to people with European or Central Asian heritage. An estimated 1 percent of people descended from Northern Europeans are virtually immune to AIDS infection, with Swedes the most likely to be protected. One theory suggests that the mutation developed in Scandinavia and moved southward with Viking raiders.

This is presumably as much God's doing as the Tsunami which Phelps was gloating over so much.

Genetic HIV Resistance DecipheredWired News, 7th January 2005.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the Willies category from January 2005.

Willies: December 2004 is the previous archive.

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