Willies: July 2005 Archives

Germany: Archæologists have unearthed what appears to be the world's oldest sex toy. The sculpted and polished stone phallus was found in a cave near Ulm, and is life size.

Researchers believe the object's distinctive form and etched rings around one end mean there can be little doubt as to its symbolic nature.

It's highly polished; it's clearly recognisable, said Professor Conard.

There is also evidence that the dildo served a secondary purpose - it bears marks which show it was used for flint-knapping.

Ancient phallus unearthed in cave - BBC News, 25th July 2005.

United States: Sometimes I hear about stories from other people, and these stories occasionally come not via a blog, but through some obscure mailing list. And they retell the tale so brilliantly, that there's no way I can get even close, but the thing isn't even linkable. The rest of this article is such a post, by Alex Elliott, reprinted with permission.

So here's the latest painfully earnest alarum from our friends at Focus on the HomosFamily:

http://www.family.org/cforum/fnif/news/a0037164.cfm

Johnson & Johnson will be advertising its brand, Tylenol PM, in the July 19 issue of The Advocate, a leading gay magazine.

The ad shows two shirtless men in bed side by side. The text over one reads: 'His backache is keeping him up.' Over the other: 'His boyfriend's backache is keeping him up.'

Johnson & Johnson has been advertising in gay media since 1996. Robert Knight, director of the Culture and Family Institute, said people need to take notice.

'A lot of corporate America has bought into the idea that they can secretly promote homosexuality without their consumers noticing out there,' he said.

Personally, I would think that this ad promotes the purchase and consumption of Tylenol PM, not homosexuality. And it's in a gay magazine - read almost exclusively by people who are already pretty much sold on the whole homosexuality thing (plus the Good and Vigilant people at FotF, of course, who seem unable to tear their eyes away from such filth).

I guess we're supposed to imagine that little Jimmy Towhead will innocently pick this magazine up off the newsstand, skip over the numerous articles about homosexuality and photographs of dozens and dozens of actual homosexuals with no ill effect, see this ad, and say, Gosh - homosexuals get backaches. I want to be homosexual so I can get backaches too! and bam! he's caught The Gay.

That's not the funniest part though. This is the funniest part:

Mike Haley, director of the gender issues department at Focus on the Family, said the gay and lesbian community has a lot of expendable income, so they are targeting big corporations who are caving to their pressure.

Apparently the FotF people live in some fantasy world where the Johnson & Johnson executives are all like, We don't want to make any profit if it comes from homosexuals, and the Evil Gay Millionaires are all like, No, you must advertise to us! Cave to our pressure! and the J&J execs are totally like, No! Gay profit bad! Money bad! and the EGMs are like, Bwahahah! You must sell us Tylenol PM or we will destroy you in some mysterious way unspecified by Focus on the Family!! and the execs are all, Oh no, we submit! We are forced to make money and delight our shareholders against our will! Woe is us!!

Or something like that. Morons.

P.S. He said Johnson. Heh-heh.